Gratitude vs. Entitlement

Table of Contents
0:45 - Our tendency to focus on the negative
1:59 - An example: How we see our bodies
4:08 - Cultivating an awareness of the gifts we're receiving
5:18 - Addiction to suffering... and the Attitude of Entitlement
7:33 - How entitlement toxifies our world
9:31 - How gratitude enhances our world
11:09 - Perceiving beauty: Openness, vulnerability & safety
13:12 - Becoming intimate with danger: Choosing between love & fear
15:17 - How to change the world through gratitude
17:18 - Why love wins in the end

[@mattelgin]

Thanks Eric. I experience frustration with some of my family carrying right-leaning ideals, and the anger I've carried toward them is eating at me and undermining a lifetime of familial friendship. Your words remind me to focus on love, friendship, and gratitude for what we do share in common, and, to be the change I wish to see in the world. Your words remind me to turn my focus to my spiritual family, and let go of the suffering I feel with some of my biological family.

[@omaro87]

So touching what you said i had experienced the same things and when you see things positively you will benefits life butter and knows that you missed a lot of good things and life tasting! Good luck

[@mattelgin]

@@omaro87 Thank you for your kindness.

[@omaro87]

You welcome 😊

[@ericdodson2644]

Hi Matt. Well, I can think of no better direction for your attention and energies than the one you're describing. And yes, I think it's a fairly common phenomenon that as we get older, we tend to place more importance on our *spiritual* families, and proportionally less on our biological families, especially if we feel alienated or estranged from them for some reason (such as our political differences). After all, life is far too short for us to be squandering a lot of it on things that aren't really filling us with life, and helping us to become better human beings along the way. Anyhow, contrary to popular opinion, DNA can actually be a pretty shallow and superficial thing. But on the other hand, *spirit* (which etymologically refers to the breath of life) is something deep, subtle and enduring. So, all things considered, I'd like my voice to be one that's affirming the validity of your struggle. It really seems worthwhile to me. Anyhow, I also feel gratitude for your comment, partly because it's inspiring my next video, which I think will be about having compassion for our supposed enemies. Anyhow, travel well... and thanks for the hella dope idea. I'll probably give you a shout-out in my next video. Gratitude. Eric D.

[@mattelgin]

@@ericdodson2644 Right on, Eric. I'll look forward to hearing more of your thoughts about this topic in the future. I've wondered for some time now, have you read Ernest Becker's work? I'd suspect yes. I've found a lot of insights from his writing, and enjoy Sheldon Solomon's lectures about terror management theory that stems from Becker's work. At any rate, you are the man, keep up the great work please and thank you. Wishing you well out there, Matt.

[@nenntmichbond]

You get criminally few views, but I am very sure that those who listen to you appreciate it all the more. Love your work, I hope you'll continue for a long time :)

[@ericdodson2644]

Well, thanks for the kind words. The truth is that I'm making these videos more for the few than for the many. And partly I make them just because I have something that wants to find its way out of me, and into the wild and wicked world. Ha ha. Anyhow, I'm not all that interested in self-promotion. And I don't monetize my videos, which means that KZbin has very little motivation to promote them. So it goes... Anyhow, thanks for taking the time to listen. Gratitude. Eric D.

[@nenntmichbond]

​@@ericdodson2644 As long as it works out for you and you keep deciding to share your thoughts with us I'll stay here to listen. Many thanks and happy retirement, btw!

[@JanuelWithGlasses]

That vibrato on 2:51 was fire!

[@ericdodson2644]

Ha ha... Yeah, that was a weird little moment. But I kept it because I thought it was funny. Eric D.

[@priakaushal2071]

This helped me deal with criticism for my future choices. Because ik a lot of ppl may not agree with my choice and try to push their entitled feelings on me

[@ericdodson2644]

Yeah, I can see that. But the obvious reality is always that you're living *your* life, not someone else's. And all things considered, the universe is wide enough to permit you to disappoint other people. After all, they're allowed to have disparaging opinions about you, and you're allowed not to care. Just a thought. Eric D.

[@projectmalus]

All sorts of nuance here! Thanks. It seems to me that humanity has a great deal of entitlement wrt Nature and this is expressed thru fences, mowing down food supplies for others, the exchange value of land, urban sprawl and noise. I think there's a better world coming, that's less exclusive, but we have to design the structure to match. What an opportunity!!

[@ericdodson2644]

Yes, what an opportunity... also what a tremendous opportunity for us to grow past ourselves, and drop some of our overweening self-importance (which I suspect is at the heart of our dubious relationship with the natural world). Anyhow, thanks for taking the time to watch and comment. Eric D.

[@cwitch81]

I’m grateful for you, Eric! 🙏

[@ericdodson2644]

Well, thanks. And thanks to *you* for sharing the adventure of being alive in this universe. Eric D.

[@cr-wi9cd]

i feel gratitude for your videos! thank you!

[@Noise-Conductor]

Thank you making this!

[@JanuelWithGlasses]

Much love to everyone receiving free knowledge on this revolving and rotating blue marble!

[@ericdodson2644]

Yeah... love and free knowledge... I like that. Eric D.

[@HieuNguyen-bx3lo]

Thanks. Have been waiting for your video.

[@ericdodson2644]

You're welcome. And I've been waiting for you to watch it. Ha ha. Eric D.

[@dlloydy5356]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts

[@thomastyler5582]

Thank you, awesome stuff

[@ericdodson2644]

Well, thanks. And thanks for taking the time to listen. Eric D.

[@benjamindover4337]

Really needed to hear this today.

[@priakaushal2071]

God, i love the wisdom

[@ericdodson2644]

Well, thanks. And I love your openness to hearing whatever wisdom I might possess. Eric D.

[@carpo719]

Nice topic eric. I revisit this subject every year on my Channel at least once, it's really important to remember gratitude.... even in times of Chaos. .it should be a daily reality. A connection to nature helps

[@ericdodson2644]

Yeah, carpo, I agree. And yes, it's definitely a lot harder to live according to our deeper destinies in times of chaos. And finally, I find that connecting with nature helps, too. Actually, connecting in *any* way helps, at least in my experience. Anyhow... I like your fish/yin-yang logo. Are the fish supposed to be carp? And thanks for taking the time to watch and comment. Eric D.

[@carpo719]

@@ericdodson2644 yeah theyre carp. :) Its my old nickname.

[@deadprsn3562]

14:04 very true, then ppl wonder why they feel empty.

[@ericdodson2644]

Well, I think that adventure is, for the most part, an acquired taste... and it consequently takes a while to develop it. And so, I'd say that it's perfect understandable that people who haven't yet acquired that taste would tend to feel empty and unfulfilled. Moreover, our social order doesn't do much to encourage a sense for adventure. That's mostly because our social order tends to promote safety in pretty much every area of our lives -- physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually... you name it. In other words, our social order usually makes our lives *less* adventurous by refusing to acknowledge the importance of experiencing danger strategically. But then again... who says that any of us actually have to listen to that? Eric D.

[@deadprsn3562]

@@ericdodson2644 taste is a factor - so are cimcumstances. when and where you live a lot times will determine why. yes, order and adventure are opposing concepts by definition. nowadays adventure includes going within six feet of another human being without a mask . safety is the enemy of freedom. safety has been Govs reason to do anything they want politically, militarily ,and socially - but only the things they deem threat. BLM riots aren't a safety or order concern - gov assures us. neither are months long lockdowns. and, most importantly, neither is the god sent, all curing, heavenly "vaccine" sent from the same people who also subscribe to lowering world population in the name of "sustainability". learned so much from you...thx 🪐

[@ivann8971]

Hello mr. Dodson. I am fairly new on your channel. With some of your videos you helped me to mentally to calm down and I have the need to thank you for that. I have also a question: What is your opinion on so called "alternative medicine"? R. Steiner's school, various "traditional" medicines (ayurveda, chinese...) homeopathy and similar things. From what I heard, most of scientists and doctors would say that this is just some foolish quackery but do you maybe think that "there is something" to it besides just placebo or the explanation that alternative medicine that works is calles just medicine? Is science despite the scientific method still prone to corruption and censorship like some may claim? Or is the truth "somewhere in the middle"? I do not wear a tinfoil hat so you can just tell me what you think. I am trying to understand both sides but still this does not help me and at the end I just get confused. I would appreciate your opinino very much.

[@christiaanherrewijn7889]

Hi Eric, Generally, I really like your videos and I’ve watched most of them, so first I’d like to express my gratitude for all the time and effort you put into them. :-) However, watching this video I felt like some important questions in the “gratitude vs. entitlement” discussion were left unaddressed. You argue against entitlement, and for gratitude, and that ‘inviting people to change’ works better that trying to coerce people. But is that always the case? When should we decide to “not accept”? How can we fight for what we believe in (on a personal or a political level) and maybe against the odds, without becoming bitter if we don’t seem to make much progress? When I think of Martin Luther King, Gandhi, the women who fought for their rights to vote, or the American colonists who fought for their independence from Britain, I suspect that they all were called ‘entitled’ by their political opponents. I would love to hear your ideas about this. Can outrage ever be a force for the good, or a useful ingredient to live a meaningful (dangerous!) live? Maybe an idea for a future video?

[@ericdodson2644]

Hi. First, greetings from the USA. Okay... it seems to me that there are very few monolithic absolutes within the ambit of human affairs. So, can outrage and even coercion (and perhaps even violence) be the best and most useful responses to life at certain points? I'd say, "Yes." However, I'd also say that we tend to over-rate their importance when we're thinking about how to bring about a better, more fruitful state of affairs in our world. And I'd say that that's especially true in these days of deep division and hostility, at least here in the USA (judging by your name, I'd guess that you're from one of the Scandinavian countries, or maybe Holland... where things might be much more harmonious than they are right now in the USA). So, part of what I'm trying to do in this video is address the tenor of the times, where the logic of outrage and coercion seems to be making our world quite a bit worse than it really needs to be. As far as your question about when it's best *not* to accept... well, I'd say that it's best to use non-acceptance as a strategy of *last resort,* when all other strategies have definitely failed. But once again, that's *not* what seems to be happening in our world these days. Instead, a lot of people seem to see non-acceptance/coercion/violence as the very *first* strategy, or even the *only* one. Finally, it seems to me that movements like the ones you're mentioning (such as the Civil Rights movement here in the U.S.) are really mostly ways of acknowledging and codifying changes that have already occurred at the organic level. That's why the American Civil Rights movement of the 1960's didn't occur, say, in 1910. It was because the country hadn't changed enough through its natural evolution to make it possible in 1910. But in 1960, things were different. But the main point is that what seem to be ground-breaking, revolutionary movements... are almost always based upon the larger and less dramatic effects of historical process that have made them possible in the first place. The American Civil Rights movement succeeded not because it was revolutionary, but precisely because it wasn't... precisely because most of the country was already on board with it. And only a few scattered remnants of the nation (mostly in the deep South) weren't. And okay, at this point it probably sounds like I have a fairly Hegelian view of historical process. And while I wouldn't think of myself as a card-carrying Hegelian, I don't think he was wrong about everything. Anyhow, much *gratitude* to you, Christiaan Herrewijn, for the very thoughtful and articulate question. Gratitude. Eric D.

[@christiaanherrewijn7889]

@@ericdodson2644 Thank you for your response. Much appreciated. I am indeed from The Netherlands (‘Holland’ being a part of that), so well spotted and greetings from here! And yes, the political situation is quite different here. There are, for example, more than 10 different political parties represented in the parliament. Polarization is probably less of an issue here, even though it seems to be growing. I agree with you that gratitude and having a positive mindset are often more effective than outrage. At the same time, I also think that telling people that they should be happy with what they have is not an effective response to outrage. I just hope that people don’t use your argument to disqualify people on the basis of their outrage, rather than responding to the underlying issue. When I first watched the video, it felt as a defense of the status quo by disregarding non-acceptance as a category. But maybe that was not what you intended.

[@ericdodson2644]

@@christiaanherrewijn7889 Wow, I sure wish we had more political parties here in the U.S. I'm a bit envious. Anyhow, to a holist like myself, everything has its place in the larger order of things. So, I'm not inclined to try to negate non-acceptance as a category. However, I am inclined to critique states of imbalance that seem to be producing a lot of unnecessarily harmful effects in our world. And such seems to be the case with entitlement these days. But then again, that may be mostly here in the U.S., which really seems pretty crazy these days. Anyhow, greetings from the U.S. It's always great to hear voices from other parts of the world... and so I appreciate hearing yours. Oh, and say "hi" to Floor Jansen for me, if you see her... ha ha. Eric D.

[@deadprsn3562]

11:33 📍

[@ericdodson2644]

Beauty is fire... at least in my world. Eric D.

[@royprovins7037]

You have mentioned meditation several times. Recommendations on starting or books to help

[@ericdodson2644]

Well, the book I'm mentioning in the video, which is Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind (by Shunryu Suzuki), was really good for me. The beginning is a bit slow, but once it gets rolling, it's a hell of a ride. Some other good ones: Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism, by Chogyam Trungpa... (also, The Myth of Freedom, by him... actually anything by him), The Experience of Insight, by Joseph Goldstein...

[@royprovins7037]

Thank you

[@henrylapka4135]

Hey Eric, I hear the saying "'Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it' often these days, but I question it's absoluteness. Recently, I watched a video where the interviewer was appalled that people didn't know what the holocaust was. It made me wonder if teaching not only the holocaust, but all the other massacres, genocides, and human tragedies in history is the most important thing to help humanity become more peaceful. While I don't think it wouldn't hurt, I disagree that it is absolutely true. I'm sure there are/were several leaders in human history that not only knew about other historical genocides, but decided to do them regardless of whether they happened before or not. Wouldn't it be more important to understand the psychology behind genocide, like Christopher Browning's "Ordinary Men" or Phillip Zimbardo's Standford experiment? I think until humanity understands their human nature better, tragedies such as the holocaust are doomed to repeat itself. I'm curious to hear your thoughts of my assessment, to see if you agree or disagree? Great videos as always, Henry.

[@ericdodson2644]

Well, I pretty much agree with what you're saying, Henry. However, I'd take your logic even a little further. But let me back up... first, I'd say that there are very few absolutes within the ambit of human affairs. So, it's not an absolute good to teach about genocides, or for people to know all about them. I'd say that it's helpful to know about stuff like that, especially as a way of being able to identify some of the real depth of human depravity. But, as you say, it's entirely possible for people to know all about the Holocaust, and still not be moved to avoid the next one. I'd also agree that a deeper goal for education of that type would be to *understand* the psychological reasons for things like the Holocaust. And yes, understanding psychological insights like those that derive from the Zimbardo and Milgram experiments can certainly be part of that. However... in my view, the same basic problem can easily arise. It's entirely possible to know all about the Holocaust, and also all about the Zimbardo (et al.) experiments, and *still* not be moved to avoid the next genocide. In other words, I'd say that the essential problem (and the essential learning that would address it) extends far beyond the province of what we know. As Pascal once famously put it, "The heart has its own reasons that reason knows not of." And I'd say that *that's* where the essential learning needs to happen -- at the level of our hearts and our wisdom, rather than our knowledge. The reason is that we human beings don't often follow the dictates of our reason, and it's a mistake to think that we do. Instead, for the most part, we follow our desires, and then use our capacity for reason to justify what we want to do anyhow. And that's why knowledgeable people can still commit genocide. It's because they've become sophisticated in their intellects, but they're still voracious predators in their hearts. Anyhow, here's a link to an early video I did about the relationship between wisdom and education, which I think might be germane to your question: kzbin.info/www/bejne/nnPEaKV9hr2oprc

[@ikaramelya]

Hello professor what is your opinion on psychedelic mushrooms as a means of meditation

[@ericdodson2644]

Well, I'd say that both psilocybin mushrooms and meditation can both help us expand our perceptual fields and deepen our consciousness. And in the process, they can both prompt us to question whether reality as we normally conceive of it is really the only game in town. And within the reaches of their farthest possibilities, I'd say that they're both entheogens, and that those are definitely benefits that they share. However, they're also very different along the experiential dimension, at least for most of us mortals (perhaps for fully evolved bodhisattvas it's different... ha ha). I'd say that psilocybin can give us a glimpse of what things would look like if we were to meditate for many years. But on the other hand, the whole point is not just to get a glimpse or two of that. The point is to live toward it by modifying our being gradually over time... which of course is what meditation is about. One way of thinking about it might go like this: Psilocybin is a little like training wheels on a bicycle. They're helpful for a brief period during our development. But the whole point is to learn to ride without them. Anyhow, if you want to hear more about my own experiences with psychedelics, and what I've learned from them, here's a link to a video I did on that: kzbin.info/www/bejne/n2a6Y4uliL-ajrc

[@omaro87]

Hi, Mister what do you think about what manny relegions says even the monotheistic ones that like y. Said life is a part of tests and endurance to prove who is near too "the reality of god" and the life after is a release to this all sufferings, and in the other hand people who live an optimistic life full of gratitude like attitude and saw the positive things about it even in catastrophies in example and how our vision to life influences our reality? And at least Thnks for your wonder job here in youtube you realy make us thinking well.

[@ericdodson2644]

Well, I guess I see monotheistic religions as fine for the people who benefit from them. But on the other hand, they aren't everyone's cup of tea. So, I guess that for me the question comes down to whether seeing things that way is good for any given person at any given point in his or her life. As for me... well, I don't see much need to see things that way. For me, it's already sufficient simply to engage life as it appears to us, as one moment gives way to the next... and then the next. In my view, life itself is already enough to fill our hearts, minds and souls. So, I personally feel little need to cling to some grand narrative about God, or gods, or any sort of ultimate explanation for life, the universe and everything. But that's just me. As in all things, your own results may vary. Eric D.

[@omaro87]

Thank you for this nice exchange, of corse when we live a lot of things and experienced a lot of things we do know life butter and how to leave it efficiently and cohabite with all kind of people in our entourage thats a true Life Story, but how about the after life?, when we rich the time of death will be satisfied of our life or we will search another opportunity to achieve what we had messed?!

[@ericdodson2644]

@@omaro87 Well, as for the afterlife... I guess we'll see when we get there. From my perspective, there isn't much sense in speculating about what that will be, mostly because we don't have enough information to decide whether our speculations are accurate or not. So... why worry about it? And in any case, we'll all find out the answer eventually, whether we speculate about it or not. So, it seems to me that all of our preoccupation with the afterlife is *way* over-rated. And ultimately, the only satisfaction with life that really matters is the kind that we're able to find within the moments of our lives themselves. But like I said, that's just my personal response. And if it doesn't work for other people... well, that's okay, too. Eric D.

[@omaro87]

I agree with you 100%, you are a realistic thinker and that adjust 100% with Life existentialism and i respect it 100%, am really great full for your scholarship. 🙏

[@chuckmartin935]

!!!!