The Least Offensive Way to Ask a Person's Ethnic Background?

During The Sporkful's live podcast taping exploring food and cultural appropriation, host Dan Pashman admitted he and his producer spent about 10 minutes trying to ask guest and comedian Michelle Buteau where her parents are from.
Watch our entire conversation: wny.cc/100JgY
Check out The Sporkful's series, "Other People's Food": wny.cc/100JmH

[@mariamusoga]

I don't mind people asking "Whats your background?" BUT I DO mind when they start arguing with you once you give them an answer.

[@MichaelaBelle]

I don't think "where are your parents from" would work for most people because my dad is from Jersey and my mom is from Indiana. I think "what's your ethnicity" is more appropriate, at least it doesn't bother me when people ask me that.

[@ashennettable]

I look like her and people are always asking. I don't find it super offensive just really annoying. Her story is super long and mine is too. It's really inconvenient to have explain these things to people who haven't really taken the time to get to know you first. It's not like I don't wanna tell people. I just don't know why it has to be the first thing.

[@cymbamcreynolds8838]

I probably wouldn't mind being asked "Where are you from?" if they weren't making it painfully obvious with their tone, body language, and follow up questions that they just want to know which stereotypes and brand of racism that they want to unleash on me about my or others' ethnicity. I just answer the literal question by saying my city. Only someone with ulterior motives would get upset with that answer. If that makes them mad, they should ask themselves why it bothers them instead of getting mad at me for giving a benefit-of-the-doubt answer

[@bcpr9812]

How about "what's your heritage?" The word "heritage" speaks to more than just physical features, but cultural background... and, implicitly, ethnicity.

[@leafapple518]

the worst kind is when they thought they're giving you a compliment after they assumed that you're of a particular race. like what does that make of my actual race? less than?!

[@katl1489]

If the person I am talking too has an American accent then I just assume they are from America, regardless of their skin color.

[@alaly1027]

I've gotten straight up "what are you?" And I have had people not believe when I told them! I have had ppl tell me that I needed to check my ancestry because I didn't know it. Complete strangers!!

[@lilyzemengist8091]

She is half the United nations in one body. Love it!

[@Sashique86]

I'm mixed and I actually like it when people guess, I even turn it into a game sometimes because I find it amusing. People have guessed Italian, Spanish, Brazilian, Mauritius, Greek, Egypt. Sometimes I wonder "why does it even matter where I'm from?" but I guess people are curious because I'm racially ambiguous.

[@hijabimama2552]

Where are you from is better than, what are you? I swear I'm gonna say, a table, and walk away.

[@johnw2026]

When she said her grandaddy fathered a child on each of the Jamaican Islands, I about died... 😆

[@vr6535]

So, she's black? And I would be offended if someone asked me where my parents are from. Uh, we're American. We were American before America was even a thing, really. I think the best way is to simply ask: What is your ethnic background?

[@MsZephyra]

It depends how you ask and also when you ask. Like don't ask me what my background is before you even know my damn name. If your thirst to be able to put people in categories is that great, you need to re-evaluate your priorities.

[@NellieKAdaba]

True. People ask me sometimes where my parents are from, but rarely, but I prefer when people ask me where I'm from without asking about my accent. I feel her.

[@salmanalkhaledi6473]

I ask "do you have a heritage from a different region than here?" Because when I'm asked that I don't feel offended... But... You know, some people are easily offended.

[@aw4610]

There are so many more interesting questions to ask a person when people first meet them beside "where are you from?"

[@ah5721]

Haha ! This lady rocks!!

[@Rukiachan05]

I can't stand it when people come to me and start speaking whatever language they think I speak. They're wrong like 95% of the time. I appreciate that they're trying to connect but just ask.

[@Cryptonymicus]

Because when people see things that are different from their frame of reference they either fear it, hate it, or get curious about it.