Growing Up Bisexual in Christian Fundamentalism | Searching for a "Bosom Friend" like Anne and Diana

[@RoseThePhoenix]

I had a friend like this. Realizing I was deeply in love with her and literally wanted to marry her is how I realized I was bi. I asked if there was any possibility for that kind of relationship and she said no, she was very straight, but our friendship was important to her. I quietly hated all her boyfriends and her husband, partly because I envied them and partly because I got to hear about how much they neglected her until the day she died. I still love and miss her.

[@gaybatgosqueak]

I'm sorry for your loss.

[@laurenconrad1799]

Love your videos. My grandmother is gay. She married a man and had kids, but never felt a romantic attraction to men. She got divorced and came out around 1975 and married a woman in 2011 (we’re Jewish liberals from the NYC suburbs, so it was never a problem for us.) I’ve often wondered, how many straight people throughout history were bisexual without realizing it? Maybe the desire to be with a woman was extra strong for my grandma because she was a 6 on the Kinsey scale. But how many bisexuals have existed before the 20th century without even realizing they were bi?

[@elainelouve]

Good question! I didn't grow up religious, but it was the 80's and 90's. I only realized I was bi as an adult. Even when I loved my best friend, and got jealous when she had a boyfriend.

[@TheMister123]

Just my ramblings here, but ... Some of what fuels a lot of homophobia in conservative circles (besides the bible verses that inspire it) is the idea that being homosexual is a choice. The existence of bisexuality, it seems to me, would offer confirmation of that. "See? You have feelings for men and women, so you'd better CHOOSE to follow Jesus." I would also postulate that a significant portion of this "choice" narrative in these circles is driven by individuals who are themselves repressed bisexuals - people who have experienced non-het attractions but were able to suppress them sufficiently and redirect toward "proper" het attractions. Maybe?

[@martaaleksejczuk1660]

I always thought all these "reformed gays" were just bisexual people who have strong inclination to their own gender, but found somebody of opposite gender who they feel attracted to, and declared they have chosen to be straight.

[@davidlafleche1142]

So, in other words, she rejected the Lord Jesus Christ so she could continue in sin.

[@one_smol_duck]

I really do wonder the same. I know some people are fully straight, because I'm fully gay, so it's not that extremes don't exist. But I wonder if the majority of people actually fall somewhere along the bi/pan spectrum, but either don't realize that because of heteronormativity and bi erasure, or have been shamed out of admitting their non-het attraction. Especially because that "choice" narrative was so popular when I was a kid, and still is in some conservative circles.

[@AdmiringObserverR]

Everyone is capable of intense tender emotional attraction to another human, without a sexual element being necessary. The choice comes in what you do with those feelings.

[@adrianamrf1161]

Hi girl! I just wanted to thank you for making this videos :) I'm an ex-catholic in a very religious and conservative family and country. I 've related so much with all of your experiencies. You have made me feel less lonely and more secure about my decisions.

[@ExFundieDiaries]

Hi Adriana, thank you so much for sharing that! I'm so grateful my videos have been helpful to you. I hope you're continually able to fully embrace who you are and live your life in the way you want!! :)

[@BlueLemons_96]

Amazing. I related to Anne so much as a kid, and as a non-binary lesbian now, it makes a lot of sense why. I remember being so confused when my friends in middle school didn't want to hold hands, like I did with other girls in elementary school. For me, it was a platonic/instinctual thing. As I've become older, people seem to solely think of hand holding as a couples activity....Idk, it still seems strange to me.

[@VectorRabbit]

I had a professor from Lebanon who said he'd hold hands w/ his male friends, and it was seen as totally normal there. Must have been a sad change when he moved to the US.

[@alexkenderdine2222]

Oh god! I feel this so much!!! I grew up in a fundamental baptist cult. I was obsessed with the Anne of Green Gables books and movies. I actually cried when I heard you reading in your diary the first time. It literally brought back so many feelings. I had these same thoughts. Then when you were talking about finding someone, it was exactly how I felt. I haven’t even been able to put that all in words. My mind is blown. Thank you for sharing.

[@ExFundieDiaries]

Wow, what an honor! Thank you so much for sharing that with me. Your comment makes me feel less alone, too :)

[@VanessaMarieBooks]

It's funny how looking back now, I can see how certain words/phrases hinted at my bisexuality but because of purity culture, religion, and bi-erasure I didn't come to terms with my sexuality either until my 30s. Sometimes when I had a crush on a girl, I'd want to become close friends with her, but I'd tell myself that "she's out of my league," "she's way too cool to be friends with me," or I convince myself because "she's so pretty, she's going to turn out to be one of those mean girls, so why bother." Looking back now I'm like, these are the exact same things I say when I have a crush on a guy (except for that last one), how did I not notice this before? 😂 Also, my parents told me I was boy-crazy growing up as well. My dad always reminds me how in kindergarten I asked my mom to buy me a valentine's day card for a boy in my class. Which of course, like you said, makes things more confusing cause I knew I liked boys so I couldn't possibly like girls, right? 🙄 Purity culture is the worst!

[@moriahjmiller]

Happy Pride! I'm pretty sure I have an entry in my old diary somewhere about my search for a "bosom friend", and felt called to the women's ministry. 🙃 I wanted a friend to love and hold close. Yeah, looking back, I was thinking romantically & wanted a girlfriend. I never let myself think for a minute it was anything other than platonic friendship. Bi-erasure is very real. My family's brand of homophobia only included a binary of gay & lesbian. Created a huge hurtle for me! Thanks for sharing your healing & self-discovery journey, and I'm glad you find it helpful. It's definitely encouraging to me. Also, you might be interested in the song "Late Bloomer" by The Secret Sisters. 😊

[@ExFundieDiaries]

Wow, those similarities are fascinating! Thanks so much for sharing!! I'm sooo glad the video was encouraging to you. I listened to the song, and it was lovely! Thanks for the recommendation :)

[@glutenfreesnark]

Thank you so much for opening yourself up to us. I have never felt as validated as I do watching your videos. I knew I was bi when I was five years old, though I didnt have that specific term. I told another 5 year old at church that I thought she was cute and I wanted to hold her hand. And she didnt even miss a beat when she replied that I needed to ask Jesus for forgiveness or I was going to hell. The indoctrination was strong and that scared me. I had also heard an older brother make comments like "If I have a gay son. I'll beat the gat out of him with a bible." So I spent 22 years repressing the fuck out of it and denying it so that I could be safe. Hearing that who you are is sin and that you will go to hell for it, and then being told by those same people that they love and care for you was an absolute mind fuck that I will spend the rest of my life unraveling

[@leenbee17]

I love listening to you so much. There is something so healing about your videos. I also discovered my bisexuality during my deconstruction. I haven't had a crush on a girl before, just attraction, but I think I may have suppressed it. The thing that clinched my bisexuality for me was a memory from when I had a sleepover with a female friend in my teens. We shared a double bed - innocently, but it made me very uncomfortable. When I think about her, I do have some warm feelings towards her. I'm also still trying to understand myself as I get the bi-cycle which can be confusing, and I sometimes think I may be heteroromantic. But I'm not sure. I'm also in a relationship with a man. It is so freeing to accept myself though. It brought a lot of turmoil in Bible college as I thought I had a demon of homosexuality. What traumatic ideas to have! But that's what we were taught.

[@danni4151]

As someone who has read the entire Anne series, Diana isn’t the only woman Anne falls in love with. She has multiple extremely intense “friendships” with women. Leslie is another standout example.

[@MrsVictoriagp]

Hi! Thanks so much for sharing. Our stories have so many overlapping threads. Including our obsession with Anne of Green Gables and desperately wanting a busom friend! I am bi and grew up in a queerphobic home.

[@rachelgoad4768]

Happy Pride from a fellow bisexual! 🌈🌈🌈

[@showyourtalentable]

This struck a cord in me and I just finished sobbing over my oatmeal

[@openlybookish]

Hugs

[@jesilynmc]

It's so confusing and hard to discover yourself when raised in homophobic and ultra religious households. I realized I was bi at age 13 and I went through a depression and self hatred. Thankfully I learned to accept myself and denounced religion because I couldn't reconcile my faith with the homophobia of my family's religion. If I could have found an inclusive church, had they existed more prevalently then, maybe I would still believe. I'll never know. I'm still not really out to my family but I've never had a serious relationship with a woman either.

[@EMpathiCAP]

I just finished sharing a realization with husband of an overt sign of my bi/pansexuality as a child and then BAM you drop Anne of GG into my lap. I was laughing for a bit remembering that strong desire for a bosom friend. Dammit was I jealous of other gals' pals too. Ugh, sometimes I am so pissed my life was decided for me by homophobic bornagain culture. Compulsory heterosexuality is ....so real. And to the ppl commenting that Christians hard preaching the "choice" of homosexuality is a way to deal with their own repressed "impure" attractions, I FEEL YOU

[@sandralantau7395]

Thank you, Elly, for talking openly about your sexuality. It is very refreshing and also very brave of you

[@gyiann3003]

I love the way you express yourself, I've been binge watching your videos for the last three days 🥰

[@justanotherjessica]

Happy Pride, Elly! Thank you so much for these videos. I swear, every video of yours gives me some new revelation about my past. One of your other videos mentioned parentification. I had never heard of that term so I googled it just to find that I had been parentified as a child (and even as an adult, to some extent). Now that's on my list of things to talk to my therapist about so thank you for mentioning it. In this video, your discussion of being jealous of your close friend spending time with other girls made me realize that I did that too. I don't know that I had romantic feelings for her though, that's something I'll have to really think about. I think for me it was more of just feeling like I needed her in my life because she made me happy when my life was otherwise garbage, and I was afraid that if she got too close to someone else, she wouldn't want to spend time with me. It was a self-esteem thing...but maybe it was also romantic feelings?

[@ExFundieDiaries]

Thanks for sharing, Jessica! I feel so honored to hear that my videos have been giving you revelations about your past. I wish you all the best on your healing journey!!

[@quiricomazarin476]

@@ExFundieDiaries Being that girls are more naturally expressive & emotional with their feelings vocally & physically it's natural females could have mental & physical reactions. Did you differentiate your thoughts & dreams from any physical feelings that came about....or did your thoughts & dreams force your physical feelings of female acquaintances? With sincerity.

[@raspberryitalia3464]

I relate so much and also believe Anne Shirley is bisexual! Thank you so much for sharing!

[@kristalcampbell3650]

Oof, this is so relatable. I remember my friend held my hand once and I obsessed about the next time it'd happen for weeeeks. Thanks for sharing I've always felt like such a strange person and finding these vlogs is like looking in a mirror in some ways. Hope you're doing well 💛

[@AarmOZ84]

It is so easy to be dismissive of your attraction to the same sex when you have such a strong attraction to the opposite sex as well. I would find myself talking to a friend wishing we would kiss and freaking out about it. Yeah, I had a strong need to relate to a man, not just as buds, but also on an emotionally intimate level as well.... which for guys feels very embarrassing to admit to or talk about. Thanks for sharing your stories.

[@magicalfluffybunny]

I always gaslighted myself when I was growing up, saying I was straight. Definitely bi. Yep.

[@miamorgenlarm1302]

Elly, if you don't know the series already, and have Netflix, look up ,,Anne with an E" I fell like you would love it 🥰😘 you are such an inspiration, I love your channel, and if we had known back then, I'm sure we could have been bosome friends, because already back then, eventough of this brainwashing sorrounding you already where so open, I saw the video about ,, growing up queer in Christian fundamentalism, and you prayed for togetherness and equality, eventough, your sorroundings where toxic and surbressive, and didn't even give you access to reality but you somehow where able to connect to your heart, and I'm so glad you survived ❤️

[@angelicalynnlove]

Thanks for sharing! I was not raised quiverfull, however I didn't realize I could be bi and Christian until my mid twenties. I've been married several years now to my husband and still occasionally have special connections w one or two women. It's hard bc if most ppl knew I were Bi they'd hate me, eventho I don't act on my feelings.

[@sophiajoffe9647]

Thank you so much for making videos like this. I am pansexual and did not grow up as a fundamentalist, but I have never related to anything more. I also grew up loving Anne of Green Gables and having confusing and intense friendships with many friends of my own gender.

[@JuliaAllenHesse]

My wife's a huge Anne of Green Gables fan, and I had to forward her this video. =D

[@Constantin9va]

All I want in my life rn is a former Fundie girlfriend. there I said it. I’m so happy I’m not the only ex-vangelical bisexual 💞😳💖

[@annietrevisan]

This is so good. I laughed out loud for most of this, SO relatable!! Thank you for sharing, you are awesome.

[@ExFundieDiaries]

Absolutely, I'm so glad it was relatable!! :)

[@openlybookish]

Thanks for being vulnerable in sharing your story. I can relate to your story so much.

[@klu222]

Anne & Diana and Xena & Gabrielle definitely were part of my queer story.

[@sandybeanbunny]

So weird i was just talking out loud about Anne of Green Gables but the netflix version Anne with an E fell in love it as soon as it came out

[@ExFundieDiaries]

I love Anne with an E too! :)

[@openlybookish]

This vlog means SO MUCH. Growing up I had a BFF who acted out Anne and Diana scenes with me. I miss her. Sadly we grew apart. 😢😢😢😢😢

[@purplegrrl711]

Look up the idea of romantic friends this was a popular term and practice in the time when Anne of green gables was written

[@larissabrglum3856]

I always love seeing your dog in the background!

[@goblin3359]

I didn't grow up religious, but I did grow up in a very hetero/cisnormative, relatively conservative environment. Having an understanding of what bisexuality is would have helped me avoid a lot of heartache and confusion when I was younger. I am so happy and proud for you that you were able to find a place where you feel happy and comfortable in your sexuality.

[@isak406]

I relate to you so much!! I too was raised Christian, homeschooled and loved the Anne of green gables series. Although me and my bosom friend never ended up together, we’re still close and both out of the closet lol she’s a lesbian and I’m bi

[@Dr_Klops]

Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. I am thankful for never having experienced this abuse in my religious maturation. I can't think what this would have caused to me. All best wishes...

[@thecreatives9779]

this was so beautiful! Thank you for sharing as always

[@haileybug3455]

Wow, amazing video! I had similar experiences growing up, now i have to laugh looking back at my cluelessness to my queerness.

[@dansbury]

You may be one of the most thoughtful people on earth. Much love.

[@MagpieMelon]

Another video where I feel like your experience mirrors my life so much! I wasn’t into Anne of Green Gables but I did have romantic feelings towards my female friends and I found out as an adult that I am bisexual. It is wild to look back at my youth and acknowledge my feelings and experiences “now that I have words for them” as you said!

[@teresaosburn8840]

i am so happy for you. you are a true inspiration to lots of people. keep the video's coming. i am so glad i found your channel

[@yaelleonawinston9552]

When I was 13, I took ballet with a breathtaking girl I now recognize as my first crush. We weren't really friends, so she became my fantasy standard of beauty, strength and competence. I am in my forties now and dreamt not long ago that we crossed paths as adults and I was just as smitten as ever.

[@LaurenElizabethYT]

I’ve recently discovered that I’m bi, though haven’t come out to anybody except a few friends, but I’ve also struggled with realizing I’m bi, due to the fact that I was also often “boy crazy”

[@kris9259]

Love your channel. I think our dogs are little mates, they look so similar!! ❤️

[@1blueROSE8]

Elly! Your videos are helping me discover the roots of my own bi self! I'm realizing how I did the same thing! Wanting a really close best girl friend and obsessing over her! And a big struggle was that we were in a triangle with my cousin. Me and my female cousin were both into this girl and competed for her attention non-stop! Anyway, I have always adored Anne of Green Gables as well! But I never, ever considered she's bi until now! (I only realized I myself am bi less than one year ago, btw.) Side note: Have you seen the Netflix series Anne with an E? I think, overall, you might approve and highly enjoy it. I did, though I was not so educated at the time. Now I'm just hoping it isn't steeped in any problematic messages . . . Anyway, thank you again for your beautiful videos! You are very skilled at presenting your thoughts. Thank you for influencing and encouraging my journey of discovering my bisexuality.

[@Tanya1987]

Wow, this makes sense so much...Thank you!

[@annaskalka2320]

I just discovered your channel. I enjoy it.

[@openlybookish]

Wish I still had my old BFF letters. Ours were very melodramatic like in the movie.

[@galacticknight55544]

I'm a straight guy, but I'm into some weird stuff (ABDL, BDSM, and femdom). It's awful being told that you're a sinner for acting on desires that 1) you did not choose to have, and 2) don't hurt anyone as long as they are acted on between consenting adults.

[@lauramathews3151]

Totally agree. Comphet blinds us all to even some of the most obviously accurate truths that have us all facepalming hard enough to leave a mark and shouting duh until we feel oblivious.

[@coferre]

oh my god i relate to this so much!! it was only watching the anne with an e series on netflix as an openly bi adult that i realised how gay that friendship was and how much sense it made that they meant so much to me as a kid!

[@helvetiqa]

ALL. OF. THIS. I mean, even down to the Anne of Green Gables bits. I'm not exactly glad I wasn't alone in this (I wish nobody had to go through this) but I am glad to finally, 20+ years later, have a little reassurance that I was going through something decidedly normal - or at least as normal as bi adolescence gets. :)

[@alegitsnack]

I feel so seen. 🥺🧡🧡

[@ExFundieDiaries]

I'm so glad!!! You're not alone :)

[@firestarhk3875]

I’m a huge AoGG fan and lover of both Anne and Gilbert (Diana too!) but I also think Anne is bisexual. I think this topic - literary characters (TV/film as well) who aren’t outright stated to be GLBTQ+ but are strongly implied to be so, is so interesting. I also think it’s very interesting that AoGG is a story that is so glorified by Fundamentalist women when the way that Anne and Diana interact definitely indicates something more than just good friends. Little Women is another one given Louisa May Alcott’s sexuality and the fact that Jo is based on her. Not to mention that both Anne and Jo are quite feminist. Anyway, I love this video and your channel and am so glad you are at a point in your life where you can be who you are ☺️

[@Rick-S-6063]

I'm a straight guy who's quite tolerant of alternative lifestyles and thinking. Your videos are really refreshing and I'm OK with your sexuality. I can see why both men and women would be attracted to you. I definitely find you very arousing. Let's hope your dog likes my cat!

[@scootergirl3662]

I like when you point out here about the whole “male and female relationship is always heading towards romantic“ I had a lot of friends growing up that were male and the adults were always like “oh you have to be dating“. So when I got older and told him I was pan, I asked if that meant that all the girls were romantic prospects too. I haven’t gotten anyone to give me a real answer yet lol

[@unclekeith6372]

I'm actually very glad you stood by yourself as being bisexual and being honest with yourself. I mean, I think you're just as human as the rest of us Americans.

[@Orynae]

Funny, when you read your diary passage about crying from how badly you wanted a bosom friend who would understand you, I remembered that's really really close to how I used to cry about wanting a dog XD (my dad is extremely allergic to dogs/cats/etc, yes even hypoallergenic ones, so it was never on the table and I completely understood that) Aaaand despite what that story seems to imply, I'm not aro, and my husband is allergic to dogs too 💀

[@lilymulligan8180]

Ugh, I relate so deeply to this video. I don't think of myself as fully fundie... But I grew up devoutly as a southern baptist. Found this channel doing therapy homework, lol. I'm bisexual, and only realized it around age 19-20. I also had a very tumultuous relationship with my BFF in middle and high school (who I went to school and church with). We were very close physically during our friendship, we'd wrestle all the time, and all we talked about was sex, relationships, and boys. I still don't think I was physically attracted to her exactly, but I did feel possessive and jealous of her like I do in romantic relationships. Around age 19 I started sexually fantasizing about a different female friend (who was also very close to me) and that's how I knew. In retrospect, a few things could have indicated it to me.... - I had a lot of gay friends at school and leaving the church was in large part because of their anti-lgbt policy - Legolas was my sexual awakening - I found out a female friend in middle school had a crush on me and I flirted with her anyway

[@wareforcoin5780]

Don't worry about having to recontextualize a friendship, I had a very close friend in high school who I thought was super pretty, who got mad at me when I got a boyfriend. Neither of us realized we weren't straight, and neither of us understood why she was so mad I had a boyfriend. We held hands and the thought never occurred to us that it feels great to hold hands because we were into each other. lmao It wouldn't have worked out. I had a crush on my friend, but it was love at first sight with my boyfriend. I'm still with that boyfriend today, still very in love with him. It all turned out, but I'll always feel stupid for letting our relationship be wasted. We _could_ have been making out.

[@charischannah]

This reminded me of a friend I had in late grade school/early middle school, and how I thought she was so pretty because she had long blonde hair and lots of freckles, and once we made up a play and performed it for her parents where she was a damsel and I was the boy rescuing her (I think I cast myself as the boy because I thought she was prettier than me and I had shorter hair than her at the time). And yet it still took me until I was in my late twenties to realize I was bi.

[@theloneone7587]

As a bisexual woman I understand and connected with Anne so much!

[@CussinQuaker]

Your childhood is so.loke mine, its uncanny! my parents *did* send me to an all-girls school for HS, where I discovered I was bi in HS, much to their dimay( and dismissal )

[@CussinQuaker]

And Anne was my FAVORITE fictional character growing up too!

[@annabeinglazy5580]

I didnt grow Up religious but i relate to the Lack of recognition of your own Bisexuality. It took me until well into my 20s to realize that i was bi, Just because bi was never framed as a thing. Like.. There were maybe two characters on TV and they were caricatures of real characters. Then you have the weird framing of women in the Media, the constant sexualisation and sexualiser representation in everything from soap operas to tooth paste ads. So in my mind i wasnt "crushing". I Just really liked that Girls Hair, and Style and i Just really really wanted to be her friend. Her best friend. Yh Well that was bs. Mind you, gay relationships were recognized, but it was Always that binary. Straight? Yh thats easy. Gay/lesbian? Yh everyone knew what that was. Bi? That Just means that youre confused and will eventually settle for a gender. Usually a Guy, because the Girl crushing was really Just an attempt to get Attention from the Guys. The early 2000s, everyone...

[@elainelouve]

Very true. That was me also, though I'm mostly talking about the 90's. Back then even gay characters were rare, but I knew what gay and bi meant. I just didn't see myself as bi, though I knew it was an option (a vague one, probably meant for other people, but still). I loved my best friend, but didn't realize it, though I became jealous when she got a boyfriend. Then well into my 20's I was watching an archeology documentary, and suddenly realized I wasn't paying much attention to the topic, because the archeologist was so hot (a boyish looking woman with a ponytail).

[@sizergeorge210]

If I were being honest, actually, despite my fascination with L.M. Montgomery's romantic friendships with other women (which partially probably contributed to me realizing I was bisexual, which my mother said I "claimed" I was ever since late middle school) I think what kickstarted me realizing I was bi was Jane and Helen's similarly romantic friendship in Jane Eyre. In fact, I was so mad that Helen died and "Jane couldn't live with Helen and instead had to live with that awful Rodchester!" that I quit reading and lost interest as soon as she died. I would've wanted a whole book about a Jane and Helen-like relationship rather than about a guy who locks his Carribean wife up in an attic because she gets postpartum depression.

[@shiaseedsalad2726]

Awww who is the doggo in the background?

[@jadelinny]

I see your Mistborn books there between the owls . . .

[@Ladybug.Cricket]

Omg my mom called my girlfriend my bosom friend before we came out to her in highschool (and after because she thought we were confused) and learning all this makes me laugh

[@frenchiegirlintheusa]

Don't you just love Kristin? I've watched her when she was on Buzzfeed, and now the Kitchen and Jorn show😻

[@skydaddyissues3884]

This makes so much sense to me. 🤣Growing up, I was always related to Anne by others, and felt like LM Mongomery stole my personality and put it into a red haired girl 100 years prior. I always thought it was because Anne CLEARLY has ADHD, like I do. But yeah, this ALL relates to me, I’m bi-curious and looking to meet women, and have always yearned for more depth and commitment from them. Like needing it to be exclusive. 🤣 And my fantasy is to spend my elderly years in a peaceful cottage with another woman being besties and sharing that same time with a man doesn’t have the same allure. Also, don’t know if you are going to cover this yet (I’m only half way through), but LM Montgomery herself said Anne was an autobiographical character. Would explain why her feelings were identical to ours over 100 years later.

[@FunFilmFare]

Reminds me how I HC Emily Windsnap being bisexual. Emily's "bosom friend" is Shona, despite briefly dating Aaron. (side note: lot of Christian fundies hate Emily Windsnap. Most common reasons I've seen... A) there's occultism mentioned. B) Emily sneaks around and lies to her mom. C) there's talk of wedlock. D) there's hints of being pro-gay marriage. Those all sound like pretty Christian fundie reasons to me.)

[@unclekeith6372]

I was born in a Catholic family, but I was never raised as 1. I mean I've never been in the religion nor have I been in any churches anywhere here in Maine

[@Cutondogor]

BWA-HA-HA ... no - not laughing at you. Laughing because I'd always felt a strongly-Christian friend of mine was coming on to me (I'm atheist and bisexual) but she is also DESPERATELY "OMG the Gays are Bad" and also "And I am Ace because there's no-one for me to love" - and I realise now that no, she's probably same-sex attracted, denies it utterly, and thus will not find someone wonderful in her life to love her. I have plenty of Ace friends, but they tend to be characterised by "I can have friends and close friends and I'm really happy the way I am." This friend is clingingly lonely and bitter, and I don't think there's any way I can start her thinking about it. So yes, it's sad, but the realisation? That is gloriously hilarious.

[@carol-leelane721]

Experiencing a bond of mutual love, of knowing and being known, is elusive for either gender in a brutally patriarchal, militaristic and misogynistic culture. As a girl I definitely had passionate crushes on other girls and young women. But those were emotional passions, without any sexual dimension. Love between women need not indicate bisexuality, so reinterpretations of historical female bonds as secretly or unconsciously bisexual or lesbian is never persuasive to me. But the individual journey of self discovery and acceptance, of courageous truth telling, benefits all humanity. IMO, it is most authentic to stand in your own truth without asserting corroboration that cannot be substantiated. Your experience and interpretation of a fictional or historical relationship as your model for personal aspiration is unassailable and vital. But much like the lesbian interpretation of Eleanor Roosevelt’s letters to a bosom friend, it weakens their credibility to impose intention where it cannot be corroborated at the source.

[@annalisette5897]

I think it can be normal for young people to feel attracted to same sex friends. There is also quite a bit of historic information about young people in single sex institutions such as all girl or all boy schools, having "crushes" on friends of their own sex. Just before puberty, I had very strong feelings about some females in my life, ranging from friends my own age to adult teachers. These feelings were not sexual feelings but were intense anyway. I always thought of adult relationships as man and woman. A few years after the feelings I describe, I was absolutely heterosexual and I actually married quite young. I have never again had strong feelings for females. I have had lesbian friends who asked if I would be interested.... My honest answer was always no. I cannot imagine having a physical relationship with another female. But I also believe that the feelings I had had were a normal part of growing up. I know that those feelings, though intense, were not the same as I have felt for the men I married. (That sounds bad. Married several times, always till death do part.) MY POINT=> I am concerned about some of the things taught in schools at this time. By teaching young people that there are many different orientations, I believe there will be confusion and psychological harm in some cases. I don't know what I would have thought if I was learning in school that it was OK to have same sex relationships. Knowing my own psychology, I think I might have had lifelong insecurities to some extent. At the same time I have mentioned, a close male friend at school was secretly gay. I only found out when we were both adults. He should have been able to be himself and seek relationships, if desired, with other gay students. There were several in school. MY OTHER POINT=> Instead of imparting such specific knowledge as is now taught in schools, it would be great if society, school, the media, etc., simply put forth the knowledge that there are many ways to love, explore your feelings and not feel ashamed of your orientation. You are not alone and you can find others who share your feelings. Love and respect everyone and do not judge another's choice. Feature acceptance, both in sexual orientation and other areas of life such as religion, ethnicity, race, etc. When we can accept each others' differences, we can have a fulfilling society for all.

[@erikazahorova7314]

Absolutely agree! I think is normal for teen girls to feel strong need to have best friend, this doesn't mean in most cases that they are bi or gay. Sexuality at this age is in process of development and there are many factors in play.

[@harajukugirlforever]

Ah yes, the classic "gal pals"

[@MintyFarts]

[@emilia_gz]

💜💙💗

[@zakethekid1333]

He he... bosom ...he he

[@aripinkberry1810]

That is a little comical though Mom you are a little boy crazy proceeds to send her to an all girls school Ellie so how are you gonna get out of this one I also like girls lol In all seriousness though my family isn’t really religious but my mom is just severely homophobic obviously I am shocked at myself for being able to stand up to her but I was and I still am on a daily basis and from now on she does not talk about my sexuality because it makes her uncomfortable and as long as we don’t bring it up we can pretend to have a good relationship

[@unclekeith6372]

To be honest here, I'm so glad I wasn't!

[@Plusultra18]

Im excited for yours arms, i wish you.

[@judithtaylor6713]

You’ve come out of a monstrous, pagan non-Christian cult. In your journey you may like to view Pastor Jonathan Fisk’s videos on KZbin. This brought me back to belief.

[@baneofbanes]

Lol