Growing Up Gay : Once a Jehovah's Witness Minister

[@lgbtqarchives]

𝐃𝐚𝐧 𝐁𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧, once a Jehovah's Witness minister, is here to share his story of courage and self-discovery. danbolen.com/

[@norwalfarm]

I can relate to your story so well. I came out at 58. I too was a perfectionist, workaholic, and an over achiever. I had my sexuality so suppressed that it took me a long time. When I admitted it to myself, it was the first time I truly felt authentic! I am now 71, a retired veterinarian and am happily married to my husband for the past 2 years. Everyone has their own journey and story. It does help to share your own history as it will help others. Thank you for sharing yours!

[@chrisschwind399]

Thank you for sharing. You’re a survivor. I was raised a JW and left when i was 30. Cost me all my family and friends. Only wish I had done it sooner.

[@lgbtqarchives]

Sounds like a loving cult!

[@kalelkent1957]

Me too. Michigan here. Yourself?

[@kalelkent1957]

I was born and raised in the cult myself. Left at 31. I thought it was going to be hard to leave. It was. But I never missed it. Been with my husband 16.years. Best life ever. Thanks for sharing.

[@lgbtqarchives]

What was the hardest part? Religious guilt?

[@kalelkent1957]

@@lgbtqarchives at first. But I do miss the close relationship with my mom. At times. Also not keeping some form of contact with old acquaintances. I’m agnostic now.

[@vusimngomezulu2500]

​@@lgbtqarchivesWhich church are true according to the Bible in this world? Because many churches are not true according to this scriptures, Matthew 7:21-23,Roman's 10;1-3,2Corintians 11:12-15,2thimoty 4:3-4,2Peter 2:1-3,1John 4:1.

[@vusimngomezulu2500]

Which church are true according to the Bible in this world? Because many churches are not true according to this scriptures, Matthew 7:21-23,Roman's 10;1-3,2Corintians 11:12-15,2thimoty 4:3-4,2Peter 2:1-3,1John 4:1.

[@lgbtqarchives]

@@vusimngomezulu2500 I do not believe in any religion at all, so this topic is totally irrelevant to me personally. That's been the best decision I made, so I'm not the person who could give you religious guidance.

[@TheBee87bee]

You are worthy and have the right to love whomever you please!❤

[@stephenvinson6474]

you brought up a vital part of the process of accepting our selves for who we ARE and were BORN to be!~!~

[@paulfairbanks941]

I was a Pentecostal pastor. I went through the same. Marriage and then divorce but now with my partner for 33 years. Now living authentic. It was hard, stressful and caused much depression. Blessings to you.

[@lgbtqarchives]

If you ever travel to Los Angeles, I’d be more than happy to invite you as a guest speaker for an episode. ❤️

[@paulfairbanks941]

@@lgbtqarchives Love to at some point. It would have to be next year.

[@TangoFlute]

Thanks for sharing your story publicly! Greetings from a fellow gay ex JW!

[@lgbtqarchives]

I had no idea how brutal the JW experience was until I interviewed Dan. You see them walking on the street and all smiley and friendly ... but looks CAN be deceiving indeed!

[@davidsciascia4654]

Dan, thank you for your sharing your story-the decades of shaming and shunning from so-called Christians is just so, so sad. You have tremendous tenacity and courage and I'm so happy you've found community and finally love with another man. Your story gives people a lot of hope.

[@SpuktasticAudio]

Love these longer format bios. Another life enhancing tale. Thank you. ❤

[@scented-leafpelargonium3366]

Thank you Dan, that is both powerful & moving. I identify a lot after working for & being rejected by various churches and Christian organisations, including losing my job for being gay. I really don't trust any Christians now & find many of them to be hypocritial & unkind. I now have a wonderful partner, like yourself, after four decades trying to please church folk and do not look back, and he has been through a similar church grist mill as me. Your story is an encouragement and an inspiration. 🤍

[@p.wesleyburrowsjr6576]

Very interesting. What a story.

[@SophieBiren-xy9jo]

What a story! What a shame JW, and religion in general can cause so much hatred, imagine if it preached love and inclusion - what a much more peaceful world it would be. I know not every religious person is prejudice, but generally speaking. Lastly, thank you Dan for being a testimony teacher, allowing others to find their courage to live their truth, as well. Kudos.

[@lgbtqarchives]

Sadly most religious institutions have a pretty embarrassing track record. They can deny all they want but our history speaks for itself.

[@wilsanders2492]

@lgbtqarchives, I think of all the waste through suicides. I was suicidal EVERY! SINGLE! DAY! from the age of 7 until age 39 when I saw Chuck for the first time and each of us knew instantly that he was mine. At least my marriage to a woman was over in 5 years (I was 28 when it ended.). It was miserable, but I take 100% of the blame. I’m only surprised that SHE didn’t suicide me. LOL

[@lgbtqarchives]

@@wilsanders2492 Glad you made it my friend.

[@wilsanders2492]

@@lgbtqarchives , it’s pretty bad when you can’t trust being alone with yourself. Many, if not most of us from that generation, experienced extreme self-hatred. Because of certain events I witnessed, I am convinced that my WWII era Baptist preacher father was gay. He was, at one and the same time, homophobic-in-the-extreme and highly attracted to men I was reasonably certain were gay. When he beat me as a skinny 15-year-old with his fists over a minuscule unrelated infraction, I couldn’t tolerate the maltreatment and unspoken judgment any longer and I ran away from home for a week. I inveigled a spot on a private train car from Shreveport to Kansas City and then hitchhiked to Houston to my sister’s house and negotiated my return from there. (Can you call, “Touch me again and I’ll kill you” a negotiation? I’m certain that he and others knew I was gay, but that was never addressed until I met Chuck a year after my father died. Had I met my husband earlier, it would almost certainly have killed my father.

[@lilac624]

Nobody defines who I am not my religion..I had to define who I am.. When it comes to your partner,he doesn't define you but he complements you.. That's a great message..

[@markwpatterson]

I, like many, came to a point in my youth where I had to make a decision. I could keep bowing down to societal pressure & pretend to be straight OR I could just say, FUCK IT!@#$ I chose, most fortunately, the latter & I've had an amazing life so far. I could NOT have imagined going through life like this poor gentleman...just DECADES of internal MISERY. Good old RELIGION at its FINEST. I do so wish I could live in a world FREE from all forms of religion. It is more deadly than any VIRUS known to mankind. Letting GO of it all was the most CATHARTIC thing I've ever done. Never looked back. But these kinds of stories/memoirs just make me sad. The bit of 'light' from this particular one is that he was able to find true love & to BE himself. There are many who go to their graves having not EVEN done that. I too went through years of RELIGIOUS HELL. There was one point I just didn't want to live but was too afraid of 'going to hell' to do anything about it. I feel fortunate to have trudged through & to have made it OUT. I have NO GODS to thank for that. Just some pure, selfish determination I suppose...the WILL to survive...well, to THRIVE. I'm one of the lucky ones. Thanks again, Dan for sharing your story. Wishing you continued success thriving as YOU.

[@wilsanders2492]

Amen

[@tammyg8031]

Watchtower is being PROTESTED on September 13th 2024, in Washington D.C at the WHITE House for their SHUNNING PRACTICES. Join the be free protest❤

[@lgbtqarchives]

I can't believe that in 2024 we're even having this conversation. A religious cult is making people's lives so miserable that there's a need for this! Just hearing their name makes me angry! 🤮

[@tammyg8031]

@lgbtqarchives Dan ,we can all collectively get this very dangerous DOOMSDAY CULT shut down & defunded. The more people we have at the protest, the more likely we will get media attention. We are looking for at least 1000 people to join us and raise awareness to the government in the United States. The be free protest website is up & available to view

[@lgbtqarchives]

Sorry, this is not Dan. I'm the creator of this channel and the one who conducts the interviews. Hopefully, you'll be able to accomplish your goal. People need to know more about this cult and be aware of whom they're letting into their homes.

[@danrbolen]

Thank you very much for sharing my life story.

[@wilsanders2492]

My husband and I have been together 37 years. I never thought we’d be allowed to marry. I’m now 76

[@danrbolen]

So happy for you my friends.

[@lilac624]

I wish I had my own husband

[@Davidipac]

I had the joy of boarding school in England. My father was a brute and I also tried to be a better person. I tried to be a good heterosexual person and because I had empathy with women I could please them sexually. I remained in the closet until I met the most wonderful friend who became my lover. He's in his early 30s, and I'm in my 60's. I am so in love.

[@lgbtqarchives]

@@Davidipac That’s amazing. It really is! So happy for you guys. Much love ❤️

[@patriciamillin1977]

Dear Dan, Thank you for sharing your story and I’m glad you found true love and happiness, albeit so late in life. I’m just sorry you had to waste so many years having to pretend to be someone you’re not, just to appease… I won’t say God, because who or whatever that is, I’m sure the one who created you loves you, so I’ll just say to appease the religious zealots in your life. I’m straight, but I have known quite a few gay people in my 70 years and I know it’s not a choice. I don’t subscribe to any religion or religious group, I prefer to have my own set of beliefs; however, my mother is a JW and she once told me of a gay man in her congregation who had “turned straight” and was now married to a woman. I just remember thinking, no, he’s just living a lie. That was some years ago and I often ask myself if this gut is still married to his wife. During those years, though, I have gently indicated to my mum that whatever makes a person gay happens in the womb (there are scientific research studies about this), that gays are actually born that way. She has always been of the opinion that it’s not up to any of us to judge, only God, and she still did sometimes at least say “hello, how are you” to someone she was supposed to shun, but I realised that she was maybe more accepting than she probably even realised when she told me of a TV show she likes to watch. She always likes to watch house transformations and in one of those TV shows, the guys doing the transformations are gay husbands. She told me that very casually, like it was not in any way offensive to her, despite her religion, and she was very touched when she mentioned that one of the guys put his head on his husband’s shoulder. She smiled and her eyes were soft and gentle just at the memory of this display of love. So long story short (😂), even JWs can be opened up to the reality of people being “different”. Edit: BTW, my mum is 95, so nothing is ever too really too late in life

[@lgbtqarchives]

Thank you very much for sharing your thoughts. Would love to interview you one day.

[@patriciamillin1977]

@@lgbtqarchives Thanks. That might prove a little bit difficult, though, due to time zone differences. I’m in Germany.

[@tonyfurtado5595]

Nothing shows the love and mercy of God to another person like shunning.

[@lgbtqarchives]

They're so proud of it too! It's right there on their official website!

[@danrbolen]

Unfortunately, it's a common practice.

[@PeterShieldsukcatstripey]

So cute as a little lad

[@lamardavidson6747]

Welcome to freedom

[@donaldewert2332]

Hello from Beautiful Milwaukee🤗

[@KnijMagz]

That song at the end...I wish i could find it somewhere on YT. It was very nice.

[@lgbtqarchives]

Thank you very much. I'm glad you enjoyed it. It's an original song, so you won't find it elsewhere. I also posted it as its own video here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/bYu4Y2OuqsmarLc

[@KnijMagz]

​@@lgbtqarchivesI just listened to the link you replied with. Thanks, the gentleman has a lovely voice. However, the songs are completely different. I hope (if it's not too much to ask) you all can upload the song deticated to Dan Bolen as it's own video.

[@lgbtqarchives]

@@KnijMagz oh I’m sorry. You’re right. I thought you were looking for another one. I haven’t published this song as an individual video yet. When I do, I will definitely let you know.

[@KnijMagz]

@@lgbtqarchives thanks again, I'm subscribed and will be on the lookout for it! Love your channel!

[@SherylSheryl-b3z]

My take on Watchtower, is that Gay rings in some Kingdom Halls definitely existed. They just "sizzled" and fried a Gay person once in awhile, if that Gay person did not want to be part of a behind the scenes club, to keep the some screen going that they were anti Gay. We all know that Bethel had its own Gay rings, and Mark Paulo, whose parents were Finnish Translators said that Leo Greenlees raped him when he was ten years old. Not sure I have Mark Paulo's last name spelled right, but in the earliest days of his "Six Screens Of The Watchtower" program, Mark did a whole program.

[@jamesrobiscoe1174]

It's my opinion that no one should stand between our personal relationship with our Creator and Redeemer.

[@lgbtqarchives]

You forgot to mention that no one should force their religious fantasies and opinions onto others, but history shows otherwise!

[@fumarate1]

Religion can destroy people minds especially Christanity.

[@johnpreston4540]

That is the purpose of religion.

[@fumarate1]

@@johnpreston4540 like it did with me

[@darrylperry648]

It's not so much the religion 😕, as it is the lunatics in whatever religion they practice, that want to dictate their narrow views on to you and everyone else 😊

[@Shakebeforyoudrink]

@@fumarate1 Same here. I wasted so much energy dealing with this.

[@danrbolen]

Sadly, this is true.

[@Angel1-mn5jb]

I I’ve had many Jehovah's Witness Bible study teachers because I resisted the congregation. Frustrated, I would send them KZbin videos of the religion of being a cult and involving pedophilia. My teacher reported me to my family and sent a response coming from a legal department. Now looking back it’s quite funny because they took it so seriously despite the fact I was young 😂

[@lgbtqarchives]

Ahhhhh, we should document that story. If you're ever in Los Angeles, do let me know.

[@Angel1-mn5jb]

@@lgbtqarchives Unfortunately, reaching that point will take some time. I'm still quite young, and my family requires me to participate in their cult, including Bible study and other teachings. It's challenging to leave, as my family is deeply involved and committed to the church

[@lgbtqarchives]

@@Angel1-mn5jb I totally understand. I didn’t realize you were still that young. Nonetheless, I really hope that you manage to pull through the situation. Hang in there. You already have a ton of experience.

[@Angel1-mn5jb]

@@lgbtqarchives but hey 🤷 if time permits I will totally hit you up 😂

[@Jesus_Christ_Conquers]

He must of been very offended and took it personally. Just be glad you we not taken advantage of!

[@SherylSheryl-b3z]

Freddy Franz never fooled me. He was as Gay as all get out, and I think the fact that he had to hide it, made him very mentally ill, he always sounded like a deranged radio announcer from the 1930's. And a friend of my inl-aws, I'll call him Don was married to a paralyzed woman. My in-laws were not good at seeing subtle energies and reading people, and married to this woman was his cover for being Gay. He could rarely go to meetings, taking care of her, so it was also a smoke screen for a secret relationship. Now my comments probably won't get any "heartsy poos" I am just showing how they all thought they had developed the perfect smokescreen and the lengths they had to go to.

[@HerefortheLove]

Heartsy poos 🤣 That made me laugh!! I see what you’re saying about the other stuff though.

[@SherylSheryl-b3z]

As far as being Gay, I hate it when you are put on the hot spot, and someone says, "Gee I like Gay people." I like people for the kind of persons they are, and some Gays I like, some I don't because they can be pissy just like anyone else. I don't love every heterosexual, either. What goes on in their bedroom if of age, and not hurting anyone else, I could care less about. I judge a person's character if they are nice decent people, smart, have a heart. I hate "groomers" and pedos. But Kingdom Halls were full of latent Gay persons, many who were married, for show, they were miserable, their mates were miserable, and they were forced to "play act" to keep the peace. One of my husband's close relatives in the Kingdom Hall was Gay, and I think he thought he would be made perfect in the new system. Well his wife died, his son no blood transfusion, his grandson drug overdose, his wife is dead, and he looks in the mirror every day, drinking, knowing he was responsible for his life, and no one else, and should have come out before he married. I know he would have been happy doing art, interior decorating, driving a sports car and living in San Francisco, way back when...

[@SherylSheryl-b3z]

You probably weren't fooling many 0ersons inside of the Kingdom Hall, either. We actually had a Gay ring, and being in Watchtower was their smoke screen, and pretending to pioneer and go out in service. In fact three, two avoided a Sister who wanted to work with them, literally sped out of the parking lot and burned rubber after the meeting for service, and I even told my husband, "I doubt they are going out in service."

[@SherylSheryl-b3z]

If you are merely looking to establish an Ex JW Gay following, and that's what your agenda is, you won't care that many persons, such as myself, were never fooled by the personalities and facades manufactured inside of Kingdom Halls.

[@lgbtqarchives]

Not sure what the confusion is. Establishing an Ex JW gay following? This is Dan's story and he can't change it to fit a particular narrative.

[@hori166]

This "testament" was difficult to watch because Dan Bolen's lifelong suffering was self-inflicted, and illustrates how toxic breakaway religious doctrine--in this case Protestantism--can be. Google the Jehovah's Witnesses and its antecedents and you will see that their beliefs are interpretations by individuals who fashion themselves, like Joseph Smith, as modern-day prophets and concern matters of theology akin to "angels dancing on pins". I'm glad Dan has found happiness, but the story of his deceit with his wives and the obfuscation by the church elicit little sympathy. I wonder if he is now truly enlightened or is still trapped in a doctrinarian mindset.

[@lgbtqarchives]

True, but I wouldn't give a free pass to other religions either.

[@topplatform624]

😅

[@norwalfarm]

It is so easy to judge someone else. We all have our story; we all have our baggage and our struggles with it. His struggle is what makes him who he is today. He did the best he could in his situation and with his history of a dysfunctional family. I disagree that his suffering was "self-inflicted". With the depth of the suppression of his sexuality it takes a long time to come to the realization of who one is. I'm sure Dan didn't purposely put himself through this. Thankfully he came through it and is better for it as we are better for having heard his story.

[@johnpreston4540]

I wouldn't categorize Dan's struggles at "self inflicted" the struggle of many gay men from his, and all previous generations, was at the hands of a heteronormative society that imposed an inhumane level of shame on all gay people.

[@hori166]

@@johnpreston4540 I'm not a JW and I don't know what covenants they live by, e.g. "be fruitful and multiply", but clearly marriage is allowed for ministers. A man who is deceitful to two women while being of "the cloth" is not heteronormative, but is using doctrine as a shield. There are lots of men of Dan's age who managed their sexuality while married, but who were not ministers. BTW I have a JW who has visited me over the past 15 years. We chat about things. I agree that there are unpleasant things in the world, and I even go so far as to suggest that Satan is behind a lot of it. How else can the scale and magnitude be explained? I just don't think that praying and reading the Bible improves things, because evil people are still out there.

[@markgillis6356]

Sorry, but why did you stay in that awful church for so long?

[@lgbtqarchives]

@@markgillis6356 Why do people stay in abusive relationships? It’s the same thing or actually worse. When you’re in that situation, that’s all you know. We all live in tight bubbles. It’s not easy to just pick up and leave.

[@henriquegar800]

I'm so sorry u chose to make satan happy. Jehovah is the originator of sex and he has the right to guide people to a clean and moral life. The bible helps us to understand how we interact with others and how we treat ourselves. People have all sorts of desires but just because we have urges, desires, curiosities doesn't mean we have to give into them much less live the life of something that the bible says is totally wrong. It's mind-boggling that people try to express true love in such an immoral way. I hope you change your thinking before it's too late. I love Jehovah's word and try to live up to it everyday. I want life into eternity worshipping Jehovah. Please don't delete this

[@lgbtqarchives]

Of course, I'm not going to delete this! You're part of a cult, and people like you have caused great damage to thousands of families. This cult should be banned. It's mind-boggling that your cult has been able to brainwash and indoctrinate you to this extent! I hope you change your thinking before causing more harm to more people than you already have. By the way, he has a wonderful husband and lives a beautiful life.

[@tammyg8031]

​@lgbtqarchives Dan, Thanks for your story. Watchtower is being PROTESTED on September 13th, 2024. September is National SUICIDE PREVENTION MONTH. Shunning kills it does not heal. Watchtower's shunning practices are very sinister and cruel. This must be STOPPED. Watchtower needs to be defunded. Join the protest in WASHINGTON D.C at the WHITE HOUSE. BE FREE PROTEST

[@kmwa1234]

Cultists are truly , truly sickos.