Why the US Military Has a 26-Page Brownie Recipe

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Video written by Adam Chase
Check out my other channel: / wendoverproductions Written by Adam Chase @adamhchase

[@halfasinteresting]

You know what's even longer than this brownie recipe? The list of HAI topic suggestions from viewers like you, but since we're such a content machine, we still need more! Therefore, be part of our mission to become one of the least ethical big-tech companies around and suggest us new topics and, as a tiny, meaningless reward, we'll ship you a free HAI t-shirt if we use your suggestion: docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfUdlvw6YgU44J8AnM2U_ZvRMyvh_CUM51LYSqF5nYJB9d1-w/viewform?usp=sf_link

[@christianordonez5704]

How dare you diss menu 7

[@NotAmira_]

Bricks please

[@thenickstrikebetter]

The Variation of the topics this channel covers is also larger than the brownie recipe, for better or worse.

[@danmoriarty6980]

Hey man, thanks for the content, my great grandfather just died and this is helping

[@dannyw9364]

That TSA joke at 4:29 was awesome. 🤣🤣🤣

[@jplabs456]

I’m not going to lie. When you said you couldn’t tell us the whole recipe, I 100% expected parts of it to be classified.

[@duncanmurphy8085]

The military doesn't want their secret weed brownies getting out do they?

[@baljeep_gay]

So did I. I wouldn't be surprised if they had a mega-classified cookie recipe though.

[@skilllessbeast7416]

I also thought so. I fully expected him to give us the whole recipe.

[@matthewchristovich]

It's not their recipe, it's the recipe you have to follow if you want to sell them brownies. If it was classified, bidders couldn't make it.

[@jplabs456]

FML, care to support your opinion with actual arguments? Or were you just being rude?

[@amistrophy]

Correction: I've talked to a few vets who have recounted fighting over the brownies, they aren't bad. I've also seen a few posts online from service members recounting their battles... of trying to snag the tastiest MRE.

[@CinemaDemocratica]

During the siege at Khe Sanh the soldiers would trade strawberry shortcake rations for almost anything they had to give away, apparently.

[@achintyanaithani889]

When you've spent time in a desert fighting the same militants you trained a decade ago......anything with flavour will look good.

[@jambonmusical2689]

why would veterinarians fight over them ?

[@nickrogers3624]

Most of the bad names associated with mre’s appear to be from people who have never tried them. They aren’t amazing, but I would eat one if offered.

[@theapexsurvivor9538]

If you had the option between the tastiest MRE and any other MRE, you'd fight over it too. Well, unless you got one of the few that actually comes out the other side, then you just tough it out.

[@SergeantGummy]

MRE’s are actually really good at keeping hackers out. I mean, have you ever heard of an MRE being hacked?

[@angelrobles7201]

That's because not even hackers want them.

[@Mr3344555]

I have and it was with a saw.

[@alexchiheh3541]

I think they also use bricks for buildings because of a similar reason, they are hacker proof and each individual brick is shipped with in box cyber defenses like L.O.E.C (lack of electronic components) and B.R.I.C.K security features

[@justnoah2073]

Good profile picture.

[@QemeH]

Oh man, I read your comment before I got to the end of the video and I was like: "What the *hell* is this video about?" :D

[@heartofdawn2341]

"Basically, it’s the same color guideline the TSA uses for people." I haven't seen a burn that intense since the last gender reveal party.

[@robezy0]

Sooo not that long ago?

[@Daniel-yy3ty]

too soon

[@hellojari07]

Noice

[@lionskrike3753]

booooo

[@mutumbopennyslacks4264]

What even is the internet

[@ConstrictedByReality]

An additional caveat to the length and extremely specific nature to writing directions to be used in production. The goal to writing directions for mass production is so that the least capable employee can produce the most consistent results - assuming directions were explicitly followed. In an undergrad class for product development, we had to write instructions for brushing your teeth to be given and followed by a class mate, the instructions were to be followed as though you understood English and could follow directions very literally, and nothing more. The shortest A grade in the class was like 3 pages, and still operated on ‘too many assumptions’.

[@moconnell663]

I did a similar assignment in middle school, but describing the contents and assembly of a sandwich, we then gave our papers to partners who were to explicitly follow the directions for our lunch for thr next day. Unfortunately I failed to reference something detailing standards for can-opening and so recieved bread and sealed cans of tuna. That was a bummer.

[@TheWinjin]

In Soviet Army existed for absolute real instructions to use spoon and a toilet. With very specific explanations, what exactly spoon and toilet are. That a spoon consists of an oval or circular scooping depression, a handle, and a connector, and so forth. This was so specific because in that time they received a lot of conscripts from distant settlements that have never seen a toilet in their life, and as for the spoon - it's exactly for the same reason you describe, so that anyone could basically create a spoon without any sort of confusion, feigned or real, on what exactly is a spoon.

[@nomisunrider6472]

Speaking as someone who's seen a lot of red tape in their job, there's a reason for the saying "regulations are written in blood". If it a rule looks way too obvious, it's because someone already broke it multiple times. Seriously the fact that you have to test brownies for rodent infestation basically guarantees that someone got rat shit in their MRE more than once. Idiot-proof is a lot harder to achieve than you think.

[@jeremysmith7176]

Did a similar exercises in my first programming class in highschool because the computer will do exactly what you program

[@titaniadioxide6133]

We did something like that in 4th grade. We were supposed to write instructions for making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in full sentences and paragraphs. Then the teacher would make himself a sandwich based on your instructions We got plenty of half-made sandwiches with full jars of peanut butter in them (taken apart again before doing the next one), lots of jelly on the outer bag of the bread, and generally a large mess made with lots of laughing from the 8 and 9 year olds.

[@staycgirlsitsgoingdown2]

“mr president, they’ve found the brownie recipe” “dear god, we’re all fucked”

[@samstuff8554]

Say goodbye to mutually assured destruction and say hello to Mutually assured brownie

[@thetallguy9068]

@@samstuff8554 We at Brownie Insurance are ready to help you after reading this 26 long page that shows you how to make our official brownie.

[@MetaReplication]

LMFAOO that got me giggling

[@Dilloz12]

No one asked you stop talking my boy joe trades nft

[@hgfkowgxnfkpeosuvjgosa4431]

theres more

[@Gussyboy06]

"SARGE WE NEED THE TACTICAL BROWNIE!" "I'M ONLY ON PAGE 2 YOU'LL HAVE TO WAIT A FEW MINUTES!"

[@naritruwireve1381]

"Or... A few hours"

[@JakobTheCenturion]

Though that may seem funny, the reality is that we (as in the guys in the field) are obviously not making these brownies; some company in Illinois is pumping these things out.

[@clothar23]

@@JakobTheCenturion I was under the impression they were a US Army fruitcake. As in having no known origin and likely regifted.

[@54lolman]

RAMAIREZ! STIR THAT FLOUR WITH THE WHISK AT A 35 DEGREE ANGLE AT ROOM TEMPERATURE!

[@Gussyboy06]

@@54lolman "next time on baking with Foley"

[@t0asteds0up57]

MRE brownies aren't actually as bad as this video makes them sound, they're just dry and crumbly.

[@SobeCrunkMonster]

which is exactly horrible for a brownie. just horrible in a gordon ramsay way, not inedible

[@moondust2365]

Which, while great for longevity here on earth, is bad for space missions. So the Space Force would need to eat MREs that are more like what regular astronauts eat all the time, except with higher longevity. Basically, Earth MREs, but waaaaay less crumbly (since crumbs are the last thing you'd want in a space vessel, asides from pathogens).

[@nathangamble125]

I like my brownies dry.

[@Jun.Suzuki]

Nathan Gamble me too

[@Jun.Suzuki]

I like my brownies like that

[@rjdruhan]

The broken down MRE you showed at 3:30 - Menu 10: Chili Mac is actually very good, no better nor worse than canned Chef Boyardee. That said, some of the menus are truly, truly hauntingly awful; The Menu 4: Cheese and veggie omelet is something you would rather starve yourself than consume.

[@thepurpleplayer9168]

Omelet and maple sausage patty were the worst mres I've had

[@capitalismsucks9590]

@@thepurpleplayer9168 Maple sausage is good. I’ve tried a lot… almost all I think except discontinued ones like the vomlette and a few others I’ve heard about. I’m still young. So far I’ve had maybe 1 or 2 bad ones. My first one ever was spaghetti.

[@buttnuttz6119]

@@capitalismsucks9590 I have a maple sausage patty, I really hope it’s good lol

[@capitalismsucks9590]

@@buttnuttz6119 It is

[@PassiveDestroyer]

My first MRE was a cold Cheese and Veggie Omelet, I had less than 5 minutes to scarf down before a range in Basic. It was bad, but since I ate it so quickly, I didn't taste it much. Later on in Iraq, I got the vomelet again, but I had time to "savor" it. It was the worst MRE; even the vegetarian ones were far superior. I would wind up getting the last MRE in the case, but rarely was I allowed to open a new case to get a Chili Mac, or something redeemable.

[@SupremeLeaderKimJong-un]

You'll never get my 9,001 page kimchi recipe

[@NotAmira_]

Supreme Leader, when are you going to take over the world?

[@VictorLima-mv4ni]

Can I get it then, o Supreme Leader?

[@BigRedtheGinger]

This recipe is over 9000(pages)!

[@Dango428]

Obligatory "its over 9000" joke, alright imma head out now

[@forgottenfamily]

Most of the pages are the many ways you need to honor the Supreme Leader to ensure it is properly blessed.

[@horizon8299]

MRE’s aren’t actually that bad as most people say they are It just depends entirely on what MRE you get Some people love certain ones while universally despising the rest

[@mrmdesigns3823]

I can definitely say MREs go hard af my favorite one is meatballs in marinara one lol

[@handlesarecringe957]

Any one of them is instantly made better with the jalapeño cheese sauce

[@orion8981]

No, people hate certain ones less. They get worse the more you eat consecutively. After a month it gets pretty fucking old.

[@artsofthewood5748]

@@orion8981 yeah, eating one here or there isn’t bad, six months though? They get pretty terrible, plus side you only need to use the head twice a week.

[@tigerguy760]

menu # 4 and # 8 top tier.

[@ketmateo]

"14 to 16 grams per square inch"... Bloody hell America, sort yourself out.

[@teemusid]

Give us a nanometer, we'll take a league, because if we're in for a farthing we're in for a yen.

[@bigsquatch]

In everything official, the military uses metric just to make sure there's no confusion when working with other countries.

[@calatwork7308]

@@EinsteinsBarber I think most people can guesstimate an inch

[@Geerice]

@@bigsquatch I promise, we are not that organized. The Technical Order for the CTM 15 is in feet

[@xenno8496]

What the fuck!?that's so odly specific where did it say that??

[@iainballas]

"Basically the same colour guide the TSA uses for people" Bruh, I just about spit out my coffee.

[@nayankondapalli1075]

Lmao that was the only joke that made me wholeheartedly laugh on this channel.

[@joeboom0697]

Shots fired, shots fired!

[@TheMohawkNinja]

TIL TSA likes red people better than black people. And dark grey people are just OK.

[@onesevenninewest]

@@TheMohawkNinja "better red than dead"... due to racism

[@georgioskarakassopoulos9818]

Why, what color was your coffee?

[@baylinkdashyt]

"Meal, Ready to Eat", which, as Tom Clancy once pointed out, is three lies for the price of one.

[@VikingTeddy]

They're a good way to simulate what it's like to have opiate- stomach.

[@timma_thy]

That's such a good joke.

[@SharpForceTrauma]

Which book was that again? Pretty sure it was one of the Splinter Cell ones

[@baylinkdashyt]

I am pretty sure that that was Ding Chavez talking to one of his 11 Bravo compatriots in _Clear and Present Danger_. I've never read any of the apostrophe books, they weren't up to my standards for fiction. :-)

[@Seth9809]

MREs are delicious.

[@messman10]

Two friends of mine said MRE means "Meals Ready to Excrete." Having been given a few by them, I can attest that is a good description.

[@smrtfasizmu7242]

There are some moderately good ones that they've been holding out on you. Spaghetti with meatballs is pretty good, so are any of the cheese tortellini, and chilimac is pretty much everybody's favourite

[@theapexsurvivor9538]

Which is funny, given that after a month or so they'll become meals rarely excretable.

[@SableDrakon]

I dunno.. Some really don't want out.

[@siddharthkapadia7674]

In India, Soldiers are trained to eat whatever you see crawling nearby.

[@stevenlynch3456]

That is what the included laxative gum is for. *shrug*

[@lewismassie]

The specification of the eggs is interesting as it still doesn't seem to actually specify to use chicken eggs. Unless of course some of the other referenced guidelines include that specification

[@leechyfruit4464]

I genuinely read the whole thing to see it I could use pigeon eggs and still be on point. I can.

[@Thycket]

mosquito eggs

[@matthewchristovich]

The CFR it references applies to chicken eggs. One of the things you learn reading military documentation is that a single numerical reference incorporates the entire published standard. I once had a 100-page contract that was over 15,000 pages when you considered what it incorporated by single numerical references, and what was incorporated into those documents by reference. In one extreme case, a document went 5 references deep.

[@darthplagueis13]

*proceeds to dump a can of caviar into brownie batter*

[@lewismassie]

@@matthewchristovich Yeah that sounds about right as to what I expected. 5 refs deep is pretty crazy though

[@mikemotter3685]

When I was in high school, I had a business selling MRE's. I'd sell them to all the outdoors people I knew (they're good for hikes) and to some doomsday preppers. They actually aren't that bad, unless you're in the military and that's all you have to eat for a while.

[@franciswaters7043]

The UK ones aren't bad for a night or 2 but yeah you do not want to live off them!

[@FoxDren]

@@franciswaters7043 do they still contain biscuits brown?

[@thequacken3226]

Yeah, in high school I had a cooking class and we had tried those. They were really good, but if that is all you eat you will get sick of it.

[@thompkins6796]

They're great for music festivals too. I always grab a box before going to one. The biggest positive is that I don't have to take a crap in a porta potty the entire weekend haha

[@connorlastname3034]

Where did you even find MREs cheap enough? Most military MREs I see are like $10 per package, too pricey for me

[@OMalleyTheMaggot]

My uncle brought me some MREs when he got out of the military and they aren't THAT bad. It's basically on par with any canned/frozen meal you'd buy for cheap. Stay away from stuff that wouldn't be good if it was coming out of a can. Noone should expect instant meatloaf to be good but you can't go wrong with what is basically a lunchables pizza.

[@OuhaiRuby]

"It's the same color guide that the TSA uses for people" Oh my

[@johndeerex7589]

The worst part is that it’s true

[@harrisonofcolorado8886]

Say...... WHAT?????

[@Hasan-bs2nv]

Couldn’t be more true, I’ve had my laptop taken apart to check if there was a bomb in it. Like bruh, I’m a college student that failed chemistry and is getting a degree in literature.

[@danteadascalitei9406]

I heard that and i just stopped and was like. Wait we just gonna skip past that remark???

[@jeffbenton6183]

I thought in his Wendover video on airport security, he said the TSA didn't use racial profiling (or at least, not to the extent that the Israelis do).

[@Sarielxo]

"meals rejected by everyone" steve1989 would like a talk

[@rosgill6]

only if the meal is at least 50 years old and possibly rancid

[@chrthiel]

The dude tried to eat emergency rations from the Boer War. I'm not sure his taste buds are fully functional anymore

[@q0w1e2r3t4y5]

@@chrthiel It isn't his taste buds I'm worried about.

[@Nanook111SC]

mmmkay

[@VocalMabiMaple]

SteveMRE1989

[@RockhopperRio]

“If the circle inside is lighter than the ring itself, the food is good! If it’s the same color, the food is most likely good. If it’s darker, the food is bad. Basically, it’s the same color guide the TSA uses for people.” That was the hardest I’ve ever laughed at a joke on this channel.

[@tempinternetname]

it earned a sub from me

[@aaphule]

I don't get it. I've never been on an airplane.

[@ChelleLlewes]

@@aaphule His comment had nothing to do with flying. It was a comment on Usanian racism.

[@GlutesEnjoyer]

If you've never eaten an MRE you'd be legitimately surprised how absolutely decent they are.

[@Illegiblescream]

They're very aggressively standard. That's all that can really be said about them.

[@gundamlurva]

@@Illegiblescream wait till you get your hands on Singapore's MREs. They make American ones look and taste good.

[@Mostlyharmless1985]

They are basically boxed meals, I’ve payed money for worse out of the supermarket.

[@zepdog54]

Veggie omelet is nasty as fuck though lmao

[@HabeasJ]

Chili mac, meal 10 for the win!

[@regarded9702]

‘Meals rejected by Ethiopia’ That’s actually pretty funny

[@danielbickford3458]

That's the one my dad referred to most often. That and meals ready to excrete

[@wildfire9280]

ok bauhmer

[@Chaoddity]

@@danielbickford3458 I remember em being called Meals Rarely Edible

[@user-ud5wq1rn2z]

@@danielbickford3458 1qqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq

[@pedroarjona6996]

Meals Rejected by the Enemy is other option

[@rgmoses2189]

I no joke absolutely LOVE MRE's, my uncle brought me one as a kid and I never stopped annoying him to bring me more. I was surprised to learn people don't like them

[@wanderingwonder111]

The black beans one is actually fantastic

[@duncanschwebel7264]

There are some good ones

[@ericdpeerik3928]

As a grown European, I like kinder surprise eggs.... The chocolate is horrible and the toys mediocre. I don't really like them, I like the childhood memories. You don't really like MRE's, you attached childhood memories to them. Glad to help 🤪

[@lppunto]

4:40 Who made this chart? Why did they put the dependent variable on the horizontal axis? Why is it a bar chart? The world may never know.

[@halfasinteresting]

IMPERFECT GRAPHS DESERVE LOVE TOO

[@1000man2]

@@halfasinteresting it hurts my brain

[@amistrophy]

Half as Interesting Science & Math teacher go BONK

[@eylookvulheimiik7538]

someone in grade school told them that the time always goes on the bottom

[@meteorologist4910]

@@halfasinteresting I think there's a difference between imperfect graphs and graphs that are just bad. Just like how there's a difference between imperfect KZbinrs and Half as Interesting

[@maerlon101]

While salt is hydrophilic the word you're looking for is hygroscopic: water-absorbing.

[@DavidSartor0]

Thank you.

[@clothar23]

Doesn't Hydrophilic mean water loving ?

[@maerlon101]

@@clothar23 Literally yes, but technically it means that it mixes with or dissolves in water.

[@clothar23]

@@maerlon101 Wait so I have been misusing the term soluble my whole life ?

[@maerlon101]

@@clothar23 Dunno if you've been using that word incorrectly. If something is readily soluble in water it is hydrophillic. But if something isn't readily soluble in water it is hydrophobic. If it's soluble in oil then that's another thing entirely.

[@DoctorX17]

Some of the modern MREs are actually pretty tasty. Slippy Joe's, macaroni and chili, and spaghetti with meat chunks are my favorites. The almond poppyseed pound cake and cornbread are also tasty. Vanilla dairy shakes are great mixed with rum

[@FrozenBusChannel]

*cough* sleepy joe

[@anthonychilders9549]

I take it you’ve “had some rum on hand” when you needed it?

[@DoctorX17]

@@FrozenBusChannel slippy sleepy sloppy Joe, lol

[@DoctorX17]

@@anthonychilders9549 yes. One should always have rum on hand

[@Noone-jn3jp]

ALWAYS chew the gum! Its a laxative

[@MrPresident1878]

Wait a minute, this isn’t about bricks.

[@NemoLafond]

It’s about an MRE brownie. It’s *definitely* about bricks.

[@mohithalder3169]

@@NemoLafond didn't get the joke

[@NemoLafond]

mohit halder hmmmm

[@tuptap2457]

@@mohithalder3169 the brownies in the thumbnail look almost like bricks

[@nk6197]

The brownies are horrible MRE food so they’re probably brick like

[@Kortexual]

This feels similar to the International Standard Cup of Tea that Tom Scott made.

[@reinatr4848]

HAI did too

[@vigilantcosmicpenguin8721]

Now we need to convince Tom Scott to make US Military Brownies

[@tristanmitchell1242]

I was in AJROTC my first year of highschool (then I moved and my new school didn't have ROTC), and we had a camping trip where we got MREs for lunch. The quality of the Meals Ready to Eat is, while not a home-cooked meal made with fresh ingredients, nowhere near as terrible as most people seem to think. Provided you follow the included instructions, you can make a decent meal out of a single MRE package, and a standard-issue one quart canteen of water. Generally, you put a bit of your water into a water-activated heat pack, heat the food, and eat it. It provides all the nutrition you need, is easy to carry and store, and lasts for between three and a half years, though they are usually eaten within six months to a year. The reason why MREs get such a bad rep is because, when you are deployed, that is your lunch, every day, for months. Some flavors are better than others, and those generally get eaten first, so by the end of the crate you are stuck with the worst flavors that can only barely be favorably compared to cardboard.

[@miguelmontenegro3520]

Normal people: Join the army to help the nation. Us, wise viewers of Half as Interesting: Join the army to learn how to bake brownies.

[@samiam619]

The recipe isn’t for Army cooks. Theirs are probably delicious. It’s for Government contractors who supply the Army.

[@menachemdavid3535]

The Army cooks can make some good food. Unlike the air force.

[@miguelmontenegro3520]

@@menachemdavid3535 Our army's rations are surprisingly good with lots of national brands everybody can recognize. Instant +15 bonus to morale.

[@joshmerchant8737]

@@menachemdavid3535 Bruh air force gets civilian contractors who are always damn good as far as ive seen. Im not sure the air force even has its own enlisted cooks.

[@timlilijinsheng4070]

to not make your (future)kids obese

[@1badboy320]

Russia: we have military grade tanks America: we have military grade brownies

[@doubtful_seer]

What would a non military grade tank be?

[@noahcamacho5227]

By the way, military grade just means "good enough to get the job done".

[@carlramirez6339]

@@doubtful_seer This: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Semple_tank

[@manolisiatrou5537]

@@carlramirez6339 ,ah yes,the only tank that could pass for a civilian tractor or a boulder if you were drunk enough

[@albobdmasta]

@@carlramirez6339 how about the killdozer

[@harriffanconshertini8804]

If anyone's interested in making this, I've distilled the recipe into something more kitchen-friendly: Brownie ingredients 184 g sugar 168 g flour 134.4 g copha (or butter) 128 g nuts (almonds and/or pecans and/or walnuts), chopped into small pieces 2 large eggs 44 g cocoa 35.2 g dextrose, anhydrous (glucose syrup) 0.24 g salt 1. Whip eggs in large bowl on high speed until light and fluffy 2. Combine sugars, cocoa, salt, and leavening; add to beaten eggs, and whip on high speed until thick 3. Add copha slowly while mixing on low speed 4. Scrape bowl and whip on high speed until thick 5. Mix flour, nuts and flavours together and fold into batter; mix until uniform 6. Pour into pan 7. Bake at 177 C for 30-45 mins 8. Cover with uniform chocolate coating Coating ingredients 64 g cocoa powder 96 g nonfat dry milk 240 g butter 1.6 g egg yolk 388 g sugar 1 g salt 0.5 g vanilla extract Heat together at 67 C for 30 mins Cut coated brownie into rectangles 3.5 in (8.89 cm) by 2.5 in (6.35 cm) by 5/8 in (1.588 cm)

[@flickcentergaming680]

How oddly specific. They do sound pretty tasty, though. If only baked until gooey, that is.

[@hrnekbezucha]

Thank you! I'm surprised the video didn't spend any time on the actual recipe at all.

[@RedRad1990]

*HAI:* "Meals Rejected by Everyone" *Steve1989 and every KZbinr reviewing MREs:* dafuq

[@oliviersavard8676]

let's get this out onto a tray nice

[@user-sf4fy8bq1h]

_Am I a joke to you?_

[@thegameraider2315]

*Inserts drink mixing music*

[@cheesychi8317]

I was just thinking about emmymadeinjapan the whole time

[@RedRad1990]

@@cheesychi8317 Yeah, to be honest, me too. The one video that drew my attention to MREs was the one she made about Polish MRE

[@pinguing6425]

I thought those were bricks in the thumbnail. Disappointed

[@uniqhnd23]

The taste and feel should be pretty similar to bricks

[@AxxLAfriku]

I recently revealed the genders of my two girlfriends. It got a lot of hate and now has 30 times more dislikes than likes. I am really sad that people can be so mean. Sorry for using your comment to talk about my problems, dear pin

[@natethegrate2783]

AxxL everyone has heard your crap. Stop trying to get views from someone else’s comment.

[@jakerussell135]

lmao

[@toddekramer]

MRE is Mr. E...mystery. If you don’t like them, you just aren’t hungry enough. 😇

[@B4c0nDrummer]

I've heard MREs referred to as "Meals Ready to Exit" due to their effect on the digestive system

[@erkinalp]

"Meals Ratified by wEndover productions" is an alternative expansion

[@tomc.5704]

Can confirm, they are _not_ ready to exit.

[@Lauri648]

@jacob peetz No, not you haven’t heard that. U just made that up.

[@Filitelchy]

Yea constipation was hell

[@PatrickDavis28]

Imagine classifying a document that is 26 pages long, is almost too specific, and it's not even for the tastiest brownie ever. In that case, a tasty brownie should be a 500 page long recipe.

[@frankpinmtl]

...and I bet the sub-contractors who make the brownies charge the army $50 bucks each, because some former general sits on the board of directors and money printer go brrrrrrrrr

[@thespanishinquisition4078]

@Anant Tiwari yes, it was. MREs are especifically intended to, and I quote "be as tasty as a boiled potato", because they are EMERGENCY rations only to be used if needed for survival, so they intentionally make sure no one would want to eat them unless they are starving. Also fun fact: reason they're just "not tasty" as opposed to "actually foul" is there is studies proving that past a certain point people will find anything tasty (and as someone that's done some pretty extreme diets I can confirm, when you're starving everything tastes good) so they decided it wasn't worth the price making it taste even worse. State bureaucracy in a nutshell, everyone. If torturing people gets results, then fuck the side effects.

[@jojo_da_poe]

People: The military is so reckless! They don't care about peoples safety! Also the military: *has a 26 page long brownie recipe which is mostly just safety procedures*

[@official-obama]

the entire point of the military is safety

[@anniel6479]

The Army: One of the most important thing a soldier can be is flexible. Also The Army: We can only make brownies ONE WAY! All other ways are unacceptable!

[@kyovalye5942]

Flexibility is for the soldiers, not for the brass

[@Kenionatus]

@@kyovalye5942 I think in the case of food that gets stored for years and then handed out to thousands of people who really don't have the capacity to deal with digestive diseases, a bit of pedantry is a good thing. :)

[@clothar23]

@@Kenionatus Which is funny because the sugar free gum is a damn good way to get the shits.

[@smrtfasizmu7242]

@@clothar23 pretty sure the gum is supposed to give you the shits. Besides everybody knows to avoid the gum of death so if you played yourself that's on you

[@ToastyMozart]

@@clothar23 Well yeah that's the point. The rest of the MRE is designed to be somewhat constipating so people don't get the squirts out in the field, and if that becomes an issue you use the gum to counteract it.

[@quarkjoy7182]

MREs are bad, here's some cadet recipes to make them better: Field mocha: two instant coffees and a hot chocolate powder Peanut butter and jelly sandwich: peanut butter packet, grape jelly, and wheat snack bread (or tortilla) Bear juice: every fruit beverage powder mixed into one shot, taken to induce cardiac arrest Apple maple oatmeal + tortilla is a lifesaver. Makes it much more palatable. Chocolate chip cookie + peanut butter is also a great option If you've ever wondered what it feels like to have your intestines dried out like cat gut cello strings, just eat 3 wheat snack breads and no water. Bon appétit

[@rcknbob1]

Thanks for the MRE hacks, although I think the mocha is better with a couple packets of non-dairy creamer. Back when dinosaurs ruled the Earth (and I tried to get more than two stripes), we would do "C-ration stew" - every entree we could gather, every packet of ketchup we had brought from a fast-food joint, some hot sauce (Tabasco, preferably) and condiments as desired. Stir it up in a clean steel helmet over a small fire, and you had either a delicious meal or a total disaster. Bon appetit and bonne chance!

[@audiomanwithaudioplan964]

I'm curious about "Bear Juice". How'd it get that name? And why would anyone induce cardiac arrest on themselves?

[@clothar23]

@@audiomanwithaudioplan964 Cardic Arrest beats fire watch or night patrol.

[@audiomanwithaudioplan964]

@@clothar23 Aye, fair enough.

[@bigsquatch]

As somebody in the Army, modern MRE's actually aren't that bad. It's just kind of an outdated joke that we keep around. While there are certain ones that I won't touch with a 15 foot pole (looking at you Creamy Spinach Fettuccine), most are actually decent, or dare I say, good. There was even a time in training when we were being served field chow (cafeteria food that's been put into travel containers to be served where ever the unit is) but the Drill Sergeants said we weren't gonna have enough for everybody and that they need 10 volunteers to eat MRE's, and almost all of the remaining fifty people volunteered.

[@Obiterarbiter]

HAI: “MRE’s taste bad” Steve MRE: “I can’t believe you’ve done this”

[@captaindusty4884]

Let's get this out onto a tray.... NICE!

[@Snugglebutt]

Is that instant type II coffee? Nice

[@lkvt123]

LongDanzi everyone knows orange type 3 is the best for your canteen

[@AshleyBlackwater]

Yeah, modern mre's aren't that bad

[@icantbelieveyouvedonethis1813]

You said my name?

[@Jessie_Helms]

My dad’s favorite is, “Meals Ready to Expel.”

[@taoliu3949]

More like not Expel

[@Cee64E]

Oh that's not true at all. In fact, after two weeks of MRE's you won't be expelling anything until you get some castor oil in you, and even then it will have *corners* on it and your behind will slam shut like an old screen door when you are done.

[@StrokeMahEgo]

@@Cee64E drink the coffee. It's the antidote for the spread.

[@Cee64E]

@@StrokeMahEgo, I always found a Beef & Bean burrito off the gut-truck to be the best cure, but you had to wait until the field problem was over.

[@bon2yan88]

E x c e l

[@Jaigarful]

I remember in AIT a woman had complained to her grandmother about not eating enough, and that grandmother called our base (Aberdeen Proving Ground) and complained about it. The Drill Sergeants made her carry around 3 MREs taped together for a few days.

[@Very_Angry_Citizen]

I really don't mind most MRE's. However, there is a special place in hell for the guy who thought the 'Veggie Omlet' was a good MRE idea.

[@Very_Angry_Citizen]

@FangABXY FangABXY you must know someone that sampled such a delicacy.

[@menachemdavid3535]

In Basic we had that one guy who would eat anything including the vomelet!

[@eggsngritstn]

Chili Mac. It remains unchallenged as the best among the worst food the military has to offer.

[@howardbaxter2514]

@@eggsngritstn Chili Mac is, without a doubt, the best MRE, and has been for over 2 decades.

[@niranjanr8075]

Very Angry Citizen you’re army

[@cedricye1767]

"Which is too boring even for our channel" DAYM

[@jeffbengtson]

3:10 Or my favorite: "MRE three lies for the price of one".

[@slimjimcognito]

4:28 accurate

[@Racko.]

I hope I'm not the only one overthinking that part

[@Bleioep]

@@Racko. he's saying the tsa is racist I think

[@MoisesCharles]

I was in the USAF. MREs were amazing. Everyone I've talked to who's had MREs agreed with me that they were awesome. We've talked about where we can buy more. I don't have any idea what MREs people have been eating that were gross.

[@happyjohn354]

Same then again I once had my diet for 6 months be 80% top ramen due to a natural disaster MRE's at least have variety...

[@remkirkthegamer1157]

Veggie and Cheese Omlettes probably. I've heard that one was really bad.

[@RikerWilson]

"The same color guide the TSA uses" made me laugh

[@jacobross7443]

“This is how you make brownies in the military” Shows chocolate cake

[@VitaZed]

Bread Dough for Firmness, Madeline for Woman Eating, Yeet for Distance, Kobe for Accuracy.

[@110_Octane]

Cakey brownies

[@t0asteds0up57]

I mean the MRE brownie is more or less a chocolate cake in it's consistency

[@ChaplainDMK]

1:53 Lol when you said it explains eggs over 6 pages, I assumed they would explain what is the function of the egg in the recipe, and any suitable substitute for it, so the meal is capable of being made in situations of austerity or low supplies - not that they actually have 6 pages of specs of what kind of color shape and granulation the egg should be.

[@AverytheCubanAmerican]

Let me guess, the brownie had oil, they invaded and took the oil, and now the brownie recipe is under new management?

[@donotworried]

Avery the Cuban-American You mean “restored freedom”. 😂

[@matteoruz]

I wanna see how Gordon Ramsay reacts to this brownie recipe.

[@midimusicforever]

About the MRE thing, I can't help to think about what Tom Paxton sang in "Talking Vietnam" "A lovely dinner they planned for us With a taste like a seat on a crosstown bus. Some of the veterans left theirs in the cans For the Viet Cong to find. . . Deadlier than a land mine." (it's not in Ochs ' original version)

[@ryanexx5250]

Because George Washington’s grandma wanted to keep it safe

[@ryanexx5250]

She is a very particular woman

[@davidthebear1109]

I accept this 100%

[@mercster]

I contracted for the US Air Force for a year or two... they do indeed document everything to the nth degree. I actually enjoyed that, and took that experience to future jobs in the IT field. It may seem excessive, but lots of documentation is better than none at all.

[@mercster]

Damn, only 72 hours are allowed between pasteurization and use in the recipe? Eggs last a lot longer than that...

[@lekroc]

Breaking into Area 51 to steal America's brownie recipe...

[@miguelmontenegro3520]

Didn't you mean, "baking". Forget I said that 🤣

[@lekroc]

@@miguelmontenegro3520 How are you planning to bake your way into area 51? Cook the guards a lovely omelette and hope they let you through?

[@arielsproul8811]

Ya could burn it and it'd still taste better than MREs

[@pkj6684]

@@lekroc ah, r/woosh time r/woosh

[@熊ちゃん-h7t]

1:04 they literally misspelled chocolate in the title as “cocolate” 😂

[@silberblock3099]

nobody can write that word

[@georgecarlson1460]

MRE recipes are first and foremost, contracting documents. The sad truth is that is what it takes to keep most contractors reasonably honest. Even then, it doesn't always work. You made a fair shot at the point that MREs are designed to be combat rations -- to keep you functioning under some of the worst conditions possible. In case you hadn't noticed, Door Dash et al do not normally deliver in combat zones, so as much as you might prefer a fresh Danish from your favorite bakery, I guarantee it would be pretty sad by the time it got to Fallujah (or more recently, somewhere in the woods in Poland).

[@jasimzoobi2340]

That TSA joke was elite 4:17

[@rayenben5033]

I'm not in the military but I want to say something about MREs. One time, I went camping with cadets to a forest, and we had MREs for the three days we were there. They were pretty good, but they purposefuly give you constipation.

[@vedantkaushik4202]

"basically, its the same colour guide that the tsa uses for people"

[@Jaichbinhier]

It sounds to me like someone was assigned to write a 8-page paper, But it wasn't written in good taste, so... ...they added a disclaimer. 😂

[@douglasbrinkman5937]

US Military: 26 pages on how to make a Brownie. Russia: "don't forget the Vodka!!"

[@gwydionrusso3206]

Russians don't need to eat much their fueled by pure communism with the occasional potato

[@grellguy]

I love how you managed to make your video resemble the recipe: Both get to the baking part after one third. The rest is HAI.

[@wheneggsdrop1701]

For the Brownie chief of the biggest army. George Washington's grandma

[@goofytycooner5519]

That username tho

[@goofytycooner5519]

@Kim Jong-un :0

[@Vale-nh6ey]

As someone who is pretty proficient at making brownies from scratch, I kinda wanna make this lol

[@agustinvenegas5238]

Please comment on how they taste 😂

[@randomuser5443]

Not advisable

[@WiseMasterNinja]

Make sure you leave it at 100 F for 6 months before eating!

[@phaub]

You mean making them or checking if they are still good after three years at room temperature?

[@Vale-nh6ey]

phaub lmao making them, I’m too lazy, but it’s that kinda thing that you wonder “what if I did?”

[@cathpalug1221]

You know, the fact they have specification actually didn't blow my mind. It's perfectly normal for something mass produced to have multiple page of recipe. What blows me away is that we didn't have the answer to third question yet.

[@theCharcoalsky]

Also known as Meals Refusing to Exit

[@hongvicodes]

Getting a 26 page order for a brownie US Military chefs: Cries while cooking

[@devaneyjohn5349]

They better not cry into the food. That's a violation of the cooking guidelines.

[@foty8679]

@@devaneyjohn5349 I thought thats how they add the salt

[@devaneyjohn5349]

@@foty8679 Only those cooks who have followed a diet drawn around a strict limit on saline intake would be allowed to do that, methinks. Random salinity levels would be bad for estimating the longevity of the finished product otherwise.

[@AuraMaster7]

The recipe actually being written in the format of a federal standard spec sheet is the best thing I've ever seen.

[@DjentlemanM]

Steve1989 and Wendover colab would be life

[@Ben-pz7wo]

I would actually produce coom

[@Usmodlover]

Nice hiss!

[@CountlessPWNZ]

@@Usmodlover BRAAAAAAAAAP "NICE HISS"

[@manutech156]

Soldier 1: Hey what's for dinner? Soldier 2 : I don't know, is a Mr. E .....(pronounced mystery)

[@SaltineChips]

nice lol

[@dracoshield2344]

As someone who was in the Canadian Air Cadets, I can say that MRE's (That look identical to the ones in this video, but might be different, IDK,) very WILDLY in quality. I distinctly remember loving and saving the brownies, making trades with other Cadets, and some meals being universally hated by everyone. Would definitely have MRE's again.

[@lucas29476]

4:12 me: learning how a sticker tells you if food is bad 4:28 HAI: throws a shade and a half onto AIRPORT security **gasping in Wendover Productions flashbacks**

[@TinyDeskEngineer]

"And multiple paragraphs explaining what eggs are" Ah, the most important part of a military brownie ration recipe.

[@LotanLevant]

That TSA joke was probably the best joke you've ever made

[@fdogie]

The US MRE is not that bad tasting honestly, even more so when compared to other countries MRE's but they actually cause a lot of diarrhea or constipation depending on who you ask. We usually call them meal ready to exit or meal refusing to exit, never heard personnally about the other nicknames.

[@christopherstarnes9933]

You forgot the “Meals Ready to Exit” or sometimes the “Meal Refusing to Exit”

[@kristinbloodworth976]

I loved the way they taste. If I could afford to buy military MREs sense I've been out of service, I would.

[@FriedrichBarb]

0:47 *Now, you probably have three questions:* *Why does the US military have its own brownie recipe, why is it 26 pages long, and most importantly* *IF JESUS WAS ALIVE TODAY, WOULD BE MAKE A CELEBRITY GUEST APPEARANCE ON DAVID DOBRIK'S VLOG?* God I love this channel.

[@addisonchan3053]

This definitely needed a brick intro.

[@garthvader9916]

That TSA joke was a harsher burn than Swissair Flight 111...

[@EgnachHelton]

I want to watch Gordon Ramsey making a full course of MRE meal.

[@Sorain1]

That... might actually be really hard for him. The instructions are going to be a level of exacting he's not used to dealing with, and his sense of prioities are going to be screaming 'you are doing it wrong!' the whole time.

[@jacobkudrowich]

3:24 is the most Hilarious ironic meta joke you've ever made. well played

[@reddit123]

if the nutraloaf is considered a strange and unsual punishment than how isn’t this browny considered a strange and unsual punishment as well

[@superdestrier9160]

I'm definitely getting some salty vibes from Sam in this video... That TSA callout is correct though.

[@Mici]

This MRE stuff is actually pretty interesting. The guy from Wendover should make a video about them, you're not worthy

[@mathphysicsnerd]

I find it hysterical you say that, given that RealLifeLore, WendoverProductions and this channel are practically interchangeable. They even use really similar postcard graphics style cartoons.

[@Mici]

@@mathphysicsnerd You know it was a joke right? HAI viewers often comment that the guy from Wendover should do a video not the HAI guy even though they're the same person

[@mathphysicsnerd]

@@Mici Well, given that I'm not a fan of any of the channels mentioned, no I was not aware of your weird in-joke. I found this video through a recommendation.

[@OMNI-Infinity]

When the marking criteria says "Extensive explanation":

[@Housewarmin]

“It’s the same color guide that the TSA uses for people” IM SORRY WHAT. I came here for educational videos, not to be dragged

[@basicallyjustabirdnow3616]

I know, the humor in these videos is like that. Dry, and blink-and-you-can-miss-it.

[@Sinyao]

Don't worry, you'll won't be dragged if you're white.

[@scythal]

Maam this is a United Airlines flight and we're full, please get off

[@FingeringThings]

So this is where the military budget goes to

[@wigglebot2368]

Maybe

[@telemachin]

I'm not surprised, this isn't a recipe, this is a technical guide for an industrial food production.

[@frankpinmtl]

HAI: MRE's are close to being inedible Hold my beer - C rats

[@affinityforanime]

I'd always heard MRE was "meals ready to expel."

[@stevecunningham6821]

I guess this explains why those hammers cost $800 and the $1500 toilet seats.

[@joehelland1635]

Mre’s taste great, the one exception is the vegetarian omelet. The real secret is knowing what parts to heat and which parts to eat cold. It isnt the same for every meal either. Also some of the deserts are better when swapped around to different meals than they come with.

[@colton1340]

Is no one going to talk about the amount of shots that were fired in this video?

[@classifiedad1]

So many shots were fired that this video might be considered a machine gun.