Halo 2 is a Fustercluck

[@Be11adona]

The virgin Master Chief: Has an endless arsenal to fight enemies, including tanks. Chad Sgt Johnson: *tWo StICkS aNd A rOck To ShaRe*

[@alexanderzamudio9052]

69

[@lonelybag8510]

johnson might not have been a primarch. but I'm pretty sure the emperor would have adopted him and made him into one. XD

[@Assault-xc3ii]

Timothy Dexter wait onyx has a Dyson sphere, so your telling me that there used to be a star or something of great solar energy on it

[@foxshoot3138]

@@Assault-xc3ii literal

[@glenmcgillivray4707]

@@lonelybag8510 headcannon. The emperor heard of Sgt Johnson, felt jealous, and based his primarchs on him, yet always felt they never quite met expectations. Horus rebelled because he felt inadequate against the moon sized balls of Sgt Johnson to whom the Emperor kept comparing him to.

[@psycosanches589]

I love the implication of the whole "give back their bomb" scene is that someone got a flight path worked up for the chief to know where he was going to be at roughly what time, pulled 2 longswords from the orbital battle with nothing more than the orders of "clear a path," they do that, and THEN inform Commander Keyes to move In Amber Clad into roughly this position at roughly this time with just the message "Catch him."

[@demicus]

I always assumed Cortana was doing things like that in the background. Coordinating with the marines, stealing door codes, all that jazz. Like in Halo CE on Silent Cartographer, when she calls in that pelican full of rocket launchers and is all "They were bringing us heavy weapons. When I saw you were up against hunters I thought you could use them."

[@Kisseyhersh123]

@@demicus Cortana did do that. Once John told Hood what to do, she most likely pinged two Longswords for a quick missile run. If anything is convenient, it's the fact the ship's shields were down. IAC just happened to be in the right spot, she was fresh launched from Cairo and was below, probably engaging the boarding parties/helping attack the larger cruiser.

[@WB1813]

Funnily enough, Chief is the one who did the calculations for the jump, all the SIIs are Genius level intellects, when he says to Cortana "I won't" when she says not to miss he's not just boasting. Cortana likely got the rest of it lined up though.

[@psycosanches589]

Rimmy has hearted my comment. That's it. Life goal done. I can go die in a ditch now. Peace out everybody.

[@nicholasprzeslawski]

@@Kisseyhersh123 they cant shoot their main cannon and shield at the same time im pretty sure. So when they started charging the beam to blow up that frigate, they knew that was the right time to go.

[@DarronGA]

"I did this" Immediately gets shanked by an elite in a dark corner

[@repdebt]

didn't know elites were born in detroit

[@bizzaroid2021]

But this elite was ultra !

[@princepis]

@@repdebt elite stole my life, can't have shit in Detroit

[@anondescriptbullet]

well elites DO value honour...

[@ShinziiArt]

I died lmao

[@Eldor-117]

Spartan 2: gets armor with alien tech and all the toys they want Spartan 1: gets redacted from history and yeah 2sticks and a rock

[@infestedlie561]

i thought spartan 1s, were, you know, the original Spartans, from sparta

[@webby1450]

Alex Dean Spartan 1s are what Johnson is

[@infestedlie561]

@@webby1450 let me believe, Johnson is Leonidas confirmed

[@matthewswart1845]

@@infestedlie561 this man knows too much

[@Thalanox]

@@infestedlie561 No, the Spartan 1's were people from the Orion project. When the Spartan project was started by Halsy (might have the name wrong), she called them Spartan 2's, because she used a lot of information from the Orion project and wanted to honour their sacrifices in her project.

[@wittyson]

Sergeant Johnson is neither a simp or an anti-simp. He is a god of pure sexual desire.

[@Elmithian]

I don't know what lady would refuse his advantages, and I can't imagine him donate to twitch thots so I don't see how he ever could be a simp.

[@RAFMnBgaming]

@@Elmithian I can very easily imagine him donating large chunks of his military pension to people on onlyfans, because let's be real, he knows he's not gonna retire so might as well put that money towards making sure he can have "Dildo Santa" written on his gravestone.

[@Eldor-117]

Think he got divorced and is a lonely alcoholic in the NOVELS.

[@chrisscott3071]

@@Eldor-117 yay for modern day extended novels ruining charachters... sci-fi is dead

[@emeraldwitch4817]

@@Eldor-117 Is this something from 343? Because I prefer to ignore the BS that comes out of them. Like with what happened to the ODST team in Halo 3: ODST. Or by making Spartans feel no longer special by making ODSTs all Spartans (I'm pretty sure that's what happened as I said, I ignore that stuff).

[@enderghost1976]

Covenant: There's no way the humans can get heavy Armour through here. Rimmy: I AM ETERNAL!

[@Paveway-chan]

German blitz through the Ardennes, 1940 (colourised)

[@deanmckellar619]

"It's tight quarters on the other... side... Sir, what are you doing?"

[@gabeo9867]

@@deanmckellar619 "Making it not a problem"

[@garrettheath6477]

I was able to get through both checkpoints once. it made me feel awesome.

[@anarchyandempires5452]

Fun fact of the day did you know that the reason why the covenant were able to jump while inside the atmosphere of a planet was because Cortana fucked up, In the book Halo first strike it is revealed that the covenant actually have no fuckin clue how the technology they have works and are effectively running it on minimum levels, basically they have all of their crap permanently set too training mode. In the book Master Chief and a small group of survivors from the Halo installation hijack a covenant flagship, The covenant AI inside the ship basically starts fighting a gorilla war against Cortana and deletes all of the software for the guns so that she cannot use the armaments of the ship, here it is revealed that human science, and mathematical understanding is actually way the hell more advanced than the covenant By like an order of magnitude, she designs her own firing algorithms for the warships weapons that take full advantage of their power and the difference is apocalyptic, In a single engagement for example in just a fraction of a second she sliced a pair of battle cruisers in half and wiped out an entire wing of saraph fighters, It wasn't a fight it was a straight up slaughter. The problem however is that she also discovered how to use their slip space technology magnitudally better than the covenant ever did, however as she was overburdened with all the data she had stolen from the Halo installation, she didn't take the time to properly annihilate the AI before it was able to steal her algorithms for the superior slip space calculations and beam them out to the fleet that was at reach.... It's an awesome book that I would highly recommend and it shows just how deadly Cortana is as she starts to Fight and win a one woman war against The entire covenant fleet on reach, And shows just how much the covenant depend on coping rather than innovating.

[@Mr-Phantastic]

“That elite is an ultra!” Is my new favourite line...

[@commissarrichardson2715]

Is it still ultra when I put a plasma round through its head

[@marneus90]

@@commissarrichardson2715 Ultra dead.

[@scorch3677]

That Elite is an ultra!

[@AkiraArashi_R]

That Space Marine is an Ultra!

[@Tawleyn]

The line is so bugged that it will literally only play in that section when you die lol

[@TheColdsuit]

Fun fact: The Marathon-class cruiser that was gutted by the energy projector in the intro was named the UNSC Feeling Lucky.

[@johnwotek3816]

Wasn't it a frigate that was named "do you feel lucky" in the Haloverse?

[@mornananchy495]

Either way, it certainly wasn't lucky.

[@dragonking_lance4442]

@@mornananchy495 they were feeling lucky, doesn't mean they were lucky

[@noblereflex8332]

F

[@spartanpawn007]

@@johnwotek3816 UNSC Do You Feel Lucky? was a destroyer whose navigational data the Covenant tried to nab.

[@Andrew-ph9np]

“Oh I know what the ladies like.” Play clip of people talking about rimmy’s bulge in the comments.

[@Chris-te6gc]

Video link?

[@Andrew-ph9np]

Chris the recent haptic suit video.

[@pilentus]

@@Andrew-ph9np the what now?

[@Andrew-ph9np]

Trooper Pilot his video from 3 days ago.

[@pilentus]

@@Andrew-ph9np ah

[@jakerigsby2008]

I was a tester for this game, and if they thought some of the big issues that made it through are bad, just imagine the behemoths that actually got stopped.

[@RyanDavis-nr2gl]

Sure.

[@minebrosfinest]

@@RyanDavis-nr2gl he actually was I just checked the credits he’s in there

[@reapereye2122]

got to ask how bad was it?

[@pubcle]

@@reapereye2122 OK, so, I'm not a tester, but I am familiar with Halo 2's code from a casual perspective. Halo 2 is one of the worst programmed masterpieces to ever exist. It is held together by dreams, blood rituals, and an absolute mountain of duct tape code. It is an absolute miracle that Halo 2 Anniversary even functions and has things like mod tools and forge, because honestly even the original Halo 2, while having a nice even surface, you scratch beneath that even a single nick and you find something that you have no idea how it isn't collapsing in on itself in its failing structural integrity.

[@reapereye2122]

@@pubcle Jesus Christ.....

[@en4135]

Spartan Armor: Can perform perfectly in space and survive re-entry with minor discomfort. Also Spartan Armor: Can't survive being smacked with the butt of a rifle.

[@LeRoux027]

There was a lore explanation for that long ago: The spartan armor not only mimics the user's movement but also enhances it. Since this also aplies to neck movement, a precise, sudden and unexpected hit could result in strong and undesired neck movement injuring or killing a spartan outright in one blow. Unaugmented humans using mjolnir armor would literaly break their own arms and legs just trying to control the suit normaly. Now imagine making a false neck movement in one of em.

[@800ninjas8]

LeRoux027 Also the whole Command Neural Interface, literally a hard connection directly to the brain/brain stem.

[@creed8414]

@@LeRoux027nice

[@en4135]

@@LeRoux027 So the armor can slam into the ground at orbital re-entry speeds and this won't even cause a Spartan to turn his head but a decent tap on the side of the head will do it. cool.

[@ACEnthusiast]

@@en4135 If I remember correctly, it was less about the actual force of impact and more about the location, ie a hard blow to the neck/back of the head can break the neural connection thingy (because it's actually rather fragile) and thereby "killing"/disabling the Spartan, but they can survive orbital insertions by locking their armour to absorb the impact and prevent excessive motion. Or some shit like that.

[@crasterlongshanks4284]

Fun fact: the special operations elite from the elevator in the last level of Halo ce had a detailed backstory. His best friend was a grunt named yap

[@maxwellsantiago316]

YapYap

[@Techhunter_Talon]

I thought that guy was SpecOps black, not gold.

[@mrraptorzz5919]

What was the guys name

[@crasterlongshanks4284]

@@mrraptorzz5919 yap yap

[@mrraptorzz5919]

@@crasterlongshanks4284 i also meant the elite thank you for the grunts name

[@tallguy8719]

"For a brick, he flew pretty good." is one of the best lines of H2

[@tallguy8719]

this has been changed to a close second due to "How you doin'?"

[@kylefreitus6765]

My favorite

[@rapidpigz8238]

You could pick any line from Johnson in H2 and it is a contender for best line. That's saying something because a lot of the lines in Halo 2 are awesome, even from Truth.

[@Yakkahboo]

@@rapidpigz8238 Dear Sarge, kicking ass in outer space, wish you were here. "I heard that, you jackass!"

[@SadButter]

Personally, I liked: "You look nice!" "thank you" "thanks"

[@gagekieffer772]

Fun fact: Chief, after saying he's gonna "finish the fight", wasted no time hunting down Truth on that ship. The only reason he didn't kill Truth was because a fucking Jackal sniper shot at him before he could take the shot

[@JustinTK416]

That was a pretty cool comic. It’s funny to think that it was almost the second or third to last level of Halo 2’s original outline. Allegedly Martin O’Donnell might have the script and even audio recordings of Halo 2’s original cut stashed somewhere.

[@The_Master_Chief_117]

I also put a plasma grenade on a brutes balls

[@greatandmightykevin]

goddamned jackals ruining things even out of the game

[@cantdestroyher7245]

Goddamn halo 2 jackals

[@deathtrooperbonzai4931]

Ultra Jackal Snipers

[@thegeneralissimo470]

"Oh I know what the ladies like" God bless you Sergeant Johnson.

[@CursedBystander]

Johnson HALO 2: **escapes and steals Scarab*** Johnson HALO 3: **requires Master Chief to free him**

[@nerosoul2506]

its worse when you realise the game lets you open the cell from the inside

[@spaz_a_lot504]

Wait really?

[@Mark-ct9kw]

Grunt: We are just Grunts sir, we are meant to be expendable... Rimmy: Not to me Me: you are strong and wise and I am very proud of you

[@josephstalin7353]

hm

[@bat23yam]

Joseph stalin hm

[@Eldor-117]

Halo 1: be like the mother marine and her Chiclet marines Halo 2: sees grunt *here have a better weapon and stay in the back*

[@VIDireWolfIV]

Chief: "Sir permission to leave the station" Lord Hood:"What for?" Chief: "To give the covenant back their bomb" Lord Hood: *thinking if he's serious or not* "Permission granted"

[@danielm.595]

Lord Hood seeing Chief exit the ship with the bomb: *sigh* "Ok Johnson, you won this bet"

[@Csp499]

19:41 Cortana wants to address the comments you made about her neck.

[@clujfliere1004]

fancy seeing you here sofa

[@MultiNaruto900]

Sergeant Johnson is the epitome of "establishing dominance" without doing any posing. He's got the voice, the attitude, the skill, and the *charisma* . Sure Master Chief is cool, but he isn't Sergeant Johnson cool.

[@800ninjas8]

Chief's badassery was nurtured via lucky stumbling through incredibly unlikely scenarios. Johnson, meanwhile, was naturally badass. Case in point, he led a couple dozen trainees at Harvest and nearly succeeded in defending the planet, iirc.

[@obijuanquenobi1911]

@@800ninjas8 and Johnson had to use sticks and rocks while Chief gets all the fancy shit...

[@Zadrias6386]

That’s Sergeant major Johnson to you son

[@SuperGman117]

Nobody: Halo 2 writers: How can we make this scene *_even cooler_*

[@kjj26k]

*Rule of Cool* baby!

[@noopthenoop]

Blur making the h2a cutscenes:

[@nerosoul2506]

One dude: Johnson, just johnson

[@crimsondynamo615]

“You wanna feel like a badass? Play me, brother.”

[@alanwestmoreland6152]

Fun fact: in the beginning of the bridge, Sgt. Johnson has different "pep" speeches depending on what difficulty you were on. I always like the medium speech where he was on about how the scrubs help the cheif take down everything standing between him and the prophet of regret.

[@MasterChiefPettyOfficer]

It's the same with the first cut scene in halo 3

[@obijuanquenobi1911]

I liked the heroic and legendary speeches the most

[@jasonalcatraz5817]

@@obijuanquenobi1911 "Usually the Lord works in mysterious ways, but not today! this here is 30 tons of HE-spewing, DEE-VINE intervention! If God is love, then you can call me cupid!"

[@specter3983]

"The Chief is gonna jump in this tank roll across the bridge and blow up any inhuman son of a bitch dumb enough to get between him and the Prophet of Regret. Pull yourself together cause you're going with him!"

[@nanocowie]

"It's too big senpai it'll never fit." - Mickey Mouse from the sound of it

[@farmerboy916]

And then they go on to rip into bad voice acting

[@bobbobinson7788]

@@farmerboy916 They aren't paid professionals hired for a specific role.

[@Akira.0.]

@Mr. Monitor I think everyone knows

[@theblackcatvieweraccount5402]

@@Akira.0. unfortunately...

[@soupssheetshow1407]

I don't blame you for not doing it on Legendary the first time round, especially went it gets to the Quarantine Zone when you have to wander your happy little arse through multiple tank battles, giant death robots with homing missles and endless fucking sentinels with only four checkpoints. Good times. Unfortunately me and my friend thought we would make it more "fun". So we made all the grunts explode when they die, all of them. Lowered the mass of everything. Doubled both explosive power and blast radius, which effects the already large blast radius on the grunts. And finally, we increased the drop rate and use of grenades, which meant any firefight involving more than three people ended up going off in those terrifying chain reactions we all know and love. At first, this crippled us. It took us over an hour and a half to complete the first level, not because the enemy were killing us, but because we kept finding new and exciting ways to kill ourselves. Simply punching the lid off a bin gave it enough force to kill someone if they were in it's path. So when the grunts go nuclear in a room full of boxes, cones and assorted crap, you ended up getting decked by a stool or a marine's corpse from across the other side of the room; because if were playing with sane rules, they wouldn't be a threat. You have no idea how many loose items are in that first cargo hold until you are dodging every single one of them. However, after the hours turned to days and the days to weeks, we learned how to master this strange new power. For only a master of Box-Fu can take down a charging elite with a swift whack to a storage crate. Only one wise in the way of the Grunt Punt can clear an entire room with one fell blow. Legendary may have been a bitch, but in the end, it was our bitch.

[@jasonalcatraz5817]

This is terrifyingly exciting and inspiring

[@Indi.go1]

Me and my buddy would do this same thing in halo 3, we'd use deployable cover shields to launch explosive crates at mach 10 into the closest entity, friend or foe. We found out the mauler is excellent at acute environment acceleration, making the lightest of cones into a deadly flying object. We'd recoil in horror as a fuel rod grunt sends debris flying through you with enough force to cripple the fleet that glassed reach. A brute with a hammer wasn't just scary because hammer, but because one swing, if only for a second, would send the immediate area into a lethal typhoon of biblical proportions, executing fucking everyone withing 10 feet, often even himself. Nothing really changed with the hunters, though one time one did kill the other with a single fick of a metal crate, it was exquisite. And every grunt became a devout follower of the great journey, giving their lives in a firey blaze of plasmatic glory at the slightest provocation, often causing a chain reaction of hot blue death and a cascade of regret as you are washed away by a hail of various solid objects, returning you to the soup from whence we all came. Legendary was a challenge, but this beating this challenge made us feel legendary.

[@ghst890]

"Johnson is a primarch" lol

[@rogaldorn3525]

Well he is a marine and he is in space.

[@doctorscientist7570]

Common misconception: it’s not sgt. Avery Johnson, it’s sgt. Lion L. Johnson

[@jamesashcroft8170]

@@doctorscientist7570 No, it is Avery, the Emperor just wanted him to change it so everybody didn't immediately swoon when he introduced himself

[@alanwestmoreland6152]

How else do you explain him surviving the destruction of installation 4?

[@Selvanus]

He’s a perpetual, clearly!

[@helsreach8954]

Lion El *Johnson* I see the emperor had coleted a fine gene of sergeant Johnson

[@baker90338]

Steel legion Troop it’s a fine, ever delicious wine.

[@talenor849]

How the fuck did I, as a dark Angel's Player up until mid 2019, not see this. This is what GW intended. All the signs are there. The green, the masterful nature of Jonson, it's all linked. Thank you for enlightening me to the truth, friend

[@shadowstrider8295]

Johnson is a Primarch. He was the one of the Primarchs that The Emperor had to get rid of because he was too powerful.

[@Jimbo55151]

I mean in Halo lore Johnson is a Proto Spartan so this also makes double sense.

[@chromitehertz9016]

@@talenor849 *trips on a rock*

[@DJDarkDarsi]

"There is a Brute staring at me with a Brute shot" "You Ok?" Did you not just hear him?

[@bloodprince9779]

Microsoft: "finish the fight" Also Microsoft:"we're not gonna let you finish the fight"

[@kjj26k]

Bungie too. They really screwed this one up, speaks to their talent that _Halo 2_ is still one of the best shooters ever made.

[@nogravitas7585]

16 years later and I'm still salty there will never be a boxed Halo 3 for PC to put next to my copy of Halo 1 & Halo 2.

[@jpesicka492]

@@nogravitas7585 halo 2 is the best but anyone too young to remember would say 3.

[@davidlee2986]

4:45 the spikes are so they can shoot the bombs at ships, and the can get stuck on the exterior with a timed detention. That way, you can put a fustercluck of them all over, and the ship won't tell anyone, because the ship dissent think that it's a bomb. It just thinks that they were laser shots that all hit around the same area.

[@celtins3570]

Wort wort. And I cannot stress this enough, WORT

[@nonya1366]

The funny part is, I think wort just means 'go', so if you translate it, it's just 'go, go, I cannot stress this enough, GO."

[@LocalDiscordCatgirl]

Non ya nearly correct. The wort line is Johnson’s ‘go go go’ reversed and distorted

[@guyman2674]

@@nonya1366 Sounds like a line you'd hear in a war movie set in Vietnam.

[@Kay_213_]

Zug zug

[@machina5]

Aw shit, the Starbucks chugging basic bitches found Halo. Franchise is officially dead.

[@BaronVonMott]

Of course Johnson is a Primarch. He's The Lion. 😁

[@notsocoolguy8492]

Adds a whole new meaning to *Dark* Angels.

[@lefr33man]

Careful, that Johnson is an Ultra!

[@zomdiehunter115]

I constantly hear Austin powers when rimmy says baby. And rimmy to answer your question about the rings is kinda the flood can infect any cell. that happes through flood spores but that's mainly after they have establish them self's a larg area. TLDR: it's to hard to infect things without nervous systems. So the flood ignore them

[@kjj26k]

But the Flood can, through other more complex biological means consume and re-use *any* organic material. Hence, natural biomes becoming _Blight_ when the Flood has held territory for long enough.

[@dicerson9976]

The flood can actually interface with basically any form of electrical network, not just nervous systems. If it isn't totally inert, the flood can interface and control it. Further, they can convert and use basically any material. Their whole origin story is that they consumed their *entire planet* which then exploded into a billion chunks that flew about the galaxy to infect other planets. During their war with the forerunners, they actively consumed, corrupted, and stole the forerunner's technology by interfacing with it, even going so far as to reverse engineer it when the flood established hyper-intelligent graveminds and then making organic variants of the tech.

[@yugitrump435]

@@dicerson9976 the flood are corrupted "precursors" who reverted to a powder form to escape the forerunner slaughter of them.

[@MasterChiefPettyOfficer]

@@dicerson9976 The problem with the whole question is, what stage does the Flood outbreak has? In the war vs the forerunners, they could infect it because they were already stage 3. A stage 1 outbreak (or even less - a single spore) can't do that. They only can INFECT animals/humans/lifeforms with a working and intact nervous system BUT they can already CONSUME and rework ANY organic matter.

[@demonicsyter]

Anyone remember the time when we first found out about the duel-wield mechanic? I remember the time when I can duel-wield two Needlers for the *Ultimate Pleasure* of making my enemies into pincushions.

[@SupremeLeaderKimJong-un]

“I know what the ladies like” my missiles, that’s how I got my lady

[@SouthDakotanDrifter]

How you doing man. Heard your possibly dead.

[@hbdragon88]

normal astro rumors of his death were greatly exaggerated

[@funnyandclevername5599]

Didn’t know they made missiles 2 inches, more like a firework if anything

[@theplaylistcollector2910]

Big Pogger lol

[@hjrulez8516]

"Ambre clad is the ship of terrible voice acting" That made me laugh so hard

[@shadezclw189]

Sgt. Johnson: Oh I know what the ladies like Rimmy: *happiness noises*

[@jacobbakos3140]

lets be honest here, we all made girly happy noises

[@dgoingbacktoarguementstosa364]

YAMETE

[@ctochs]

"How are u gonna disarm a bomb with spikes all over it?" ...makes sense

[@tallguy8719]

17:17 for those who don't know, the skulls are: Sputnik Feather Scarab Bandana (and maybe others)

[@nocontentacc]

"Ok, first of all? Switch." Gold

[@arandominternetperson437]

"What if you miss?" "I won't" *proceeds to miss*

[@Soliye.]

Could actually be a decent meme

[@creaper1376]

I still find the "two sticks and a rock for a whole platoon" funny, especially when you play Halo Wars 2 and the description of Johnson's hero unit (Johnson himself) it says "he carries an extra sharp stick with him just incase"

[@Bluelyre]

This game may be held together by popsicle sticks and glue, but i love the damn thing.

[@NotNicot]

6:01 "Establishing connection to wha- *BRRRRM* "

[@steamstewbaconbrew7094]

"they actually left in *FEMBOY HOOTERS* " 7:01 what ?

[@CaptainForsyth]

well time to go searching.

[@jakepaton4001]

Come on down, to the Femboy hooters. Where the men are cute and the bois have cooters!" (Or cuter if that fits your canon)

[@block2533]

I’ve never played the original nor the remaster, but I am still in awe how awesome it is that you can just press a button and quickly see the original version of everything. Huge props to whichever devs thought of that

[@gabeo9867]

"Now that thing is really starting to PISS ME OFF!" god i miss that man Edit: I miss when he could survive getting smacked by the antenna in the original.

[@cameronclark4480]

Rimmy* This game Remaster is really flawed Johnson speaks in cutscene Literally moans after each line

[@TheAxelmercenary]

Sgt Johnson is a treasure who will always be loved

[@AndrzejGieraltCreative]

random elite: "He may trust you but I do not" arbiter: "You have to earn my trust" Ok

[@weldonwin]

You know what, it makes perfect sense that Srgt.Johnson is a Primarch. He's one of the two lost Primarchs, sent back in time by a Warp mishap and the Spartans are really Astartes based on his Geneseed

[@ComradePenguinski]

@Tigerclaw Flood couldn't high jack him because he has Boren's Syndrome caused by plasma weapon radiation exposure. It's in the third Halo book (Halo: First Strike). They may have changed it later but that was the original explanation.

[@weldonwin]

@@ComradePenguinski The true explanation, is that the Flood simply couldn't handle THAT much sheer manliness and charisma. Sargent Major Avery "Rockhard" Johnson, is like the bastard lovechild of Sargent Apone, John Shaft, A Primarch and ALL the Badass in the galaxy. It is also how he escaped from Halo, his sheer manliness warped the fabric of reality, allowing him to open his own Slipspace portal, so he was just on Earth waiting when Master Chief arrived there

[@jacobbakos3140]

@@weldonwin ONI would like to know your location

[@Iris_n_Parti]

9:05 His attempt on a Loli voice sounds more like Mickey Mouse but I guess that's a limitation with the manliest voice I have ever heard

[@JustinTK416]

Now I have this horrible image of old school Micky saying that in a short skirted sailor uniform... I can’t decide if I’m more amused or disturbed.

[@deanmckellar619]

12:57 Oh hey! It's the Grunt that lead a Sangheili Spec Ops team!

[@cpMetis]

Johnson was a Spartan before it was cool. No, really. He was a part of project Orion, later renamed Spartan I, which was like a shitty diet version of the augmentations they did to Spartan II's (Cheif, Blue Team, Red Team, etc.) without the armour. Most went insane. It's why he's semi-immune to the Flood. They reduced it a lot to get the augmentations for ODST's and turned it to 10000000% for the Spartan II's.

[@artemagaming1285]

2:44 The human was shooting more than you were? So sam is not human, interesting.

[@jakitron890]

I still love how H2A opens with blatant lying about Halo 5

[@Gingerbreadley]

Flood only infecting nervous systems is old lore they infect everything now. Love seeing some halo content.

[@dave_4527]

They can still only infect life forms with a nervous system but with enough collected biomass and an established Gravemind they can begin to build up large hives and birth pure flood forms like the Tank & Crawler forms,

[@MrFullCrumb01]

@@dave_4527 You, uh, you okay there?

[@dave_4527]

The FullCrumb If you’re referring to the triple reply, I tried twice and it said it failed so I reset my internet and tried again and then it decided to still do the other two,

[@MasterChiefPettyOfficer]

It's not that simple. What can be infected by the flood really depends on the stage of the outbreak. A single spore on a planet only can infect something with a working nervous system. A stage 4 outbreak on the other hand can just infect anything by thinking.

[@webdude15]

Well yes and no. The method the flood use to infect the forerunner and they're technology was more advanced than they did to humanity. And they had several proto grave minds, not just the one we see in halo 2.

[@JohnTrustworthy]

15:55 Don't MOVE! Demon vision is movement based! As long as I don't move, he won't see me. Wait, why is he staring at me? Is he out of ammo too? Well perhaps we can part ways peacefully and noOURGHH!

[@kevshabunas523]

"For a brick... he flew pretty good!"

[@crazygamecrafter8830]

18:25 tamed a scarab would be more accurate, since they're controlled by enormous hives of letgolo (hunter worms)

[@spaz_a_lot504]

Now I need to see how he 1. Broke free 2. STOLE AND TAMED A SCARAB BUT DIES TO A FLYING LIGHT BLUB

[@vristooexpensive7606]

Halo 2 Scarabs are mostly machinery, aren't they?

[@crazygamecrafter8830]

@@vristooexpensive7606 nah they still have letgolo they just hiding

[@vristooexpensive7606]

its lekgolo and also what

[@crazygamecrafter8830]

@@vristooexpensive7606 they're in the walls

[@arturochambers27]

I remember this game. When I played it I saw the best game for the halo apart from the first one because it showed both sides of the war and how they both worked. It also showed the covenant not just simple mindless mechanized monsters, it also showed as human as much as humanity. Arbiter also made a human as much as the master chief. When I played it when it came out and I was amazed. When I got the collection and played it, I saw something that was impossible. Better graphics in any games for halo (not even halo 5 comes close to it) and the greatest lines ever written. The best line ever made was when Chief landed on delta halo. "Can we make any more noise?" *chief pulls out rocket launcher* "huh. I guess so." Best game to ever played, followed by Combat Evolved (the original) with the biggest blue balling ending, but an epic cliffhanger and ending. That's only my opinion. It also depends on your own as well.

[@rowantree315]

Sam walking out and saying those elites were ultras broke me, I laughed till I had tears in my eyes

[@magosmarechferracioli1128]

343 be like: "Hey gamers, who wants to hate Halo 2? Well, here's Locke!"

[@lelouchvibritannia4028]

God, I hate 343. Why can't they accept the fact that we do not give a fuck about any of the Osiris Team members?

[@deathpiggy101]

@@lelouchvibritannia4028 Bruh they were in one game where they tried to get you to like them it failed and they haven't been brought up or forced on anyone since then. The Halo 2 cutscene was made before Halo 5 even released

[@ABonafideSkeleton]

The only likable member of Osiris is Buck and that's only because he's Nathan Filion. Everyone else are nothing characters.

[@NINJAxxLEMUR]

It was supposed to be a tease for halo 5, it wasn't just plugged in to force us to like the characters. Halo 5 came out after this.

[@jamesmcintyre2676]

"Johnson is a Primarch," Is actually not that far off the mark. He's a bonafied Gen I spartan. He's what spawned 117 and the others thanks to his text book thick blacked out research project participation.

[@AlVainactual]

I actually didn't know you were a Yog and I've been watching both you and the others for years. I've even watched the vid with you and Spiff and I still didn't connect the dots. :P

[@hatman4818]

Johnson stealing a scarab gets even more badass when you watch that halo lore video on the origin of scarabs

[@swordwhale869]

If Rimmy and Sam were assigned to save the UNSC. Humanity would be so screwed. And they'd cause most of the UNSC casualties themselves lol

[@Zaph501]

11:25 there is also literally a backstory for the first red elite Master Chief kills on the Pillar of Autumn, who is also the same elite he kills on the elevator at the end of the game, which is also on the Pillar of Autumn. xD And don't you forget that Sgt. Johnson is the same way too!

[@thesamejackalsniperthatkil117]

Zuka zamamee? Ah yes the guy that got clapped instantly on the autumn but has entire lore surrounding him

[@NotTheBomb]

9:23 fun fact, you can save the tank crew and the tank. I have done it! When the game first came out I would save as many marines as I could. Managed to save them too :D

[@Levy_Wilson]

My theory for the spikey bomb is probably so the spikes get fired off from the bomb as shrapnel, embed themselves further into whatever structure they're blowing up, and then they also have smaller bombs in them to cause further damage. Good for taking out large structures, but the human defense platforms are so small that they just atomize from the initial explosion.

[@TitansTracks]

Damn this takes me back! Running a campaign with your buddies and feeling like a badass. Fighting some teammates online over who gets the energy sword. Driving them into enemy territory and bailing, randomly sticking their vehicles to watch them explode. This game was absolute chaos, and I'll always remember how much fun it was to screw over random people and close friends alike on the internet. That was half the fun of playing online back then! 💎

[@dalmatiaball7687]

"I need a weapon" **looks at the black guy**

[@JustinTK416]

Now I just have the mental image of Chief hurling Johnson at the Covenant like a javelin. Unfortunately, the devastation that would cause would make the Halo array activation look like a firecracker in an ant hill, so the maneuver was banned by the Council of Space Buddhas.

[@sylveriron2575]

2:50 I had flashbacks to left 4 dead when a charger comes screaming down a t-section hallway and takes out the player in front of you, then carries them all the way down the corridor. Anyone else think that?

[@thelegendarybloxycola4727]

9:06 "Don't worry mickey, ahyug, i can make it fit."

[@nemersonfilho9055]

Miranda Keyes flagship is named ,"the ship of bad voice acting" ;I never had heard a name so ... fitting

[@Darkoriax17]

They do name the ship multiple times though. UNSC In Amber Clad.

[@18videowatcher41]

They really got the perfect voice actors for Master Chief and Sergeant Johnson. Also, Johnson is indeed a supreme badass. Partially because he’s basically a Spartan-I, and also just because he’s an absolute Giga-Chad.

[@TheHelsinkiForager]

I love the voice acting. It makes everyone feel more human. It just immerses me like that

[@Darkoriax17]

9:29 Did I give you permission to bitch, Marine?

[@AverytheCubanAmerican]

Huh, this is an interesting and interactive HOI4 mod

[@SpicyNapalm]

"Master Chief is always Sprinting" is what my brother told me when I first played halo 2 as a child and I believed him

[@aquamelon0087]

Honestly, I don’t see the problem with Miranda Keyes Voice acting

[@razzy1448]

Cause there aint one, voice acting sounds fine lmao

[@ZappasBappas]

8:26 Loved the little Bridge Too Far reference I'm from Arnhem! haha

[@derptomistic]

*Walks into room with dual SMGs* "Play the music" *Blow Me Away intensifies* "No... My music" *Renai Circulation intensifies*

[@largeman2316]

“That elite was an ultra” was the first “that wizard came from the moon”

[@TheCptnOfFail]

17:42 I am sat here thinking "That can only end one way." 17:47 "yep"

[@windhelmguard2328]

17:26 "I cast upon thee, fuck everything In that general direction"

[@WordsofHeresy]

*a ship with millions of human lives on board explodes* Rimmy: yooooo, that's so cool! Also: Halo 3 Cortana was the best and the Flood consume all organic life. Its role varies on the organic life consumed

[@sirwahthemonke]

thousands lol, that wasn't the infinity haha

[@NewGuy2534]

Locke: How do explain the parts you weren’t there for?

[@heresjonny666]

Microsoft really need to sort their peer-to-peer out. It disconnects both players at the slightest interuption to the connection. It needs to have a longer timeout, and also the ability to jump into game part-way through a mission.

[@gamerz1172]

i love how the only clip that is unedited, played in its entirety is the bomb scene

[@alanwestmoreland6152]

*I was a PC gamer, I never got to finish the fight!* I felt that.

[@HolyknightVader999]

Sgt. Johnson is not a Primarch. He's just a younger Emperor of Mankind who never got to mature due to his sacrifice in Halo 3.

[@LighthavenGB]

The Nostalgia, through all the bugs is insane

[@coenisgreat]

“Everything else in this game is good” The pistol isn’t

[@Darkoriax17]

That was literally the first thing 343 nerfed.

[@coenisgreat]

@@Darkoriax17 the halo 2 pistol was always garbage, blame bungie for that, not 343

[@Jimbo55151]

I use to quote the “dear humanity” speech so much. Great scene.

[@bingusbongus7417]

I do have to agree that the devs of SCP: Unity are some of the best out there. They're very active with their community and they are incredibly nice. I've never seen even one dev be sour toward anyone who didn't enjoy their game (although who wouldn't), but rather they took feedback from them and improved. Fucking group of chads

[@sammartin4639]

I think the Yogcast have 10 interns scrolling through youtube to find young talent; ISP, Spiff and you.

[@hanszeskelly8251]

Master chief would you mind telling me what your doing at McDonald’s. “Sir, finishing this Big Mac.”

[@mayhem_666_]

That Locke cutscene makes me want to die

[@LordFerpez]

What I find funny is Pyrocynical is on Keys’ ship and no one noticed

[@billbobson2569]

people being surprised johnson is a badass when he used to be a spartan 1.