Halo Season 1 Episode 3 Review The TRASH Timeline - "Emergence" Deep Dive

[@disparutoo]

What did you think of episode 3, better or worse than episode 2 and why are they obsessed with Master Chiefs feelings? Let me know your thoughts below, and cheers for watching :)

[@jimreaper1337]

Oh by far this was the worst episode of the 3, I'm sure next week we will witness the worst show of all 4 episodes, but for now yes by far the worst show on tv for me

[@ViperChief117]

Straight trash it was. To quote Jedi Master Yoda. Lol

[@RichardPhillips1066]

The 6 year kids being sexualised then murdered, surprised me, I didn't think even wokes could sink that low, I genuinely worry about people that like this show, are they just dumb ?

[@daedalus1]

I just could not watch after episode 2. I will not do so either, but I will watch your vids. Cheers.

[@CurtisDofMontana]

3/10 they want this show to be HALO the adult soap opera.

[@ezzahhh]

Tbh I am actually glad he doesn't put his helmet on at all anymore since that way he doesn't get confused for Master Chief.

[@disparutoo]

I'd agree except for the fact the guy has 1 single expression and I'd love to not need to look at it. He could at least put a V for Vendetta mask on, that's about as halo as this show it would fit right in.

[@blacklistedpirate4169]

@@disparutoo sadly the helmet is more expressive

[@anvec6145]

can't even call the brief one-sided bits fights, so other than the Power Ranger style plot armor battle in episode 1, zero worthwhile battles in three episodes. no battle, no armor😫

[@joshuacalkins]

Having failed to make a decent Halo show, despite access to incredible stories and style, I’d prefer it have less and less in common as well.

[@tommel672]

It's amazing that we live in a time where watching reviews of a series is better than watching the show itself.

[@disparutoo]

Admitedly though this is a particularly low bar I have to step over.

[@Sutatu]

Ep 1: takes off helmet. Ep 2: takes off armor. Ep 3: takes off cloths. Ep 4: replaced by strong wahman. They are slowly erasing Master Chief. I'm shocked! Shocked, I tell you!

[@davidfescenmeyer6471]

Next is the gender swap.....

[@charlescaulkins8306]

Me? Well, I'm not that shocked.

[@superstd]

Ep 4 : takes off dignity

[@linus116]

Episode 8: Has sex

[@whiterabbit75]

@@superstd Episode 5: takes off dick and balls.

[@Makoto03]

These Halo episode reviews are far more entertaining than the show itself. Thank you for covering this trashfire for us. :)

[@disparutoo]

I almost fell over when I found out how many episodes there were to come. It's going to be a tough one to get through 😂

[@eggsbenedict2251]

Everything woke turns to sh *t. - Donald Trump 👏

[@jimreaper1337]

@@disparutoo how many episodes are there in total then?

[@KillZallTheBeast]

@@jimreaper1337 9 I believe

[@kopykat6843]

@@disparutoo we appreciate your sacrifice greatly

[@Powerhaus88]

Turning Cortana into some soulless soldier scheming against John, the groomer content, the shitty Convenant storyline, the horrible take on how military protocol during wartime unfolds, how there's barely any combat or battles, it's like there isn't even a genocidal war going on. Would've much rather had a Band of Brothers style miniseries with like 1 Spartan and a squad of ODSTs behind enemy lines going through a planetary siege campaign, working together, slowly starting to respect each other and heal the rift between Spartans and ODSTs, etc. There, it took me 7 seconds to come up with a way better, original plot that doesn't in any shape or form conflict with canon.

[@alexanderrobins7497]

When someone mentioned a Halo anthology series, I thought it was a perfect idea. They could switch themes and years quickly without having to worry about continuity from episode to episode. You could learn about the UNSC-Insurrectionist war one episode, follow a Spartan team the next, see the civilian perspective of an invasion, pure politics for another, or follow a Covenant squad as they win and/or lose against humans.

[@Lezarddd]

Wasn't there actually a sort of like, anime short about this kind of plot?

[@alexanderrobins7497]

@@Lezarddd Shhhh… Let’s not talk about it since most of it was garbage. I like Halo, I like anime, but Halo should not be an anime.

[@feeniks100]

This show is just basically, layer by layer, stripping away anything and everything that makes Halo so good. It's literally just a hollow shell wearing a skinsuit of the original franchise to sell this absolute shit to those who liked the game.

[@disparutoo]

The funny thing is the stripping away isn't even attempted to be subtle. That's why every episode they are going further at removing his armour etc till he's just a dude. I said in a previous video I thought the helmet was done so they could try and easily argue against it while distracting from everything else that's awful. But they also used it as an attempt to get the uproar out of the way first, so that there wasn't as much energy when they did stuff like this for which there is no defence. It also distracted from how bad the rest of the show was. Focus attention on something smaller and more petty, so that they can come in with abominations after.

[@kanden27]

Then they take it off in the first episode!

[@paulwolfley7785]

Oz said a phrase that needs to be standard, this isn't fan fiction they hate the show this is hate fiction

[@theextracrispycolonel9504]

Good point, considering most fan fictions are lovingly crafted...but this shitshow, on the other hand.

[@HerculesBallsInc]

VERY good.

[@Mawa991]

This show is worse than everything I could have ever imagined. I couldn't finish episode 2. It just hurt too much.

[@benjamintherogue2421]

You know what made Halo so good? Among many reasons, the heroism. The heroism of the Chief doing what it takes to make the greatest impact he can in a hopeless situation, the heroism of the UNSC ships and troops sacrificing themselves to get between the Covenant and the civilians, the heroism of the civilians doing everything to support the fight. You can see that in the "Return to Sender", a truly legendary cutscene where you see the heroism by not just the Master Chief, but the navy personnel as well. The level of competence by everyone in Halo 1-3 also stand out. Everyone knew their job, they knew what they needed to do, and they knew what they had to sacrifice to accomplish it. They were competent heroes. This is why the modern Halo is failing, with all of its different media versions. They've taken out the heroism and competency of the characters and replaced them with the only thing modern writers know. Spitefulness, anger, hatred, and stupidity.

[@gagefisher4785]

The writers referring to Cortana as a "Great Leap Forward" as if it's a GOOD thing already tells me the kind of people they are.

[@disparutoo]

If anyone else said it I'd give them the benefit of the doubt. When Hollywood says it, knowing the type of people in Hollywood, and they DO like this kind of stuff. No benefit of the doubt is deserved.

[@jakeboylan9493]

You know they only said it because the writers know it refers to China. But the didn't bother to research what it was referring to

[@DarthEvilicus]

“Genocide is fun and trendy”- Hollywood

[@jacquelineking5783]

I somehow think that most people in Hollywood are unaware of how bloody Mao was.

[@colnelScar2]

Oh God that ship scenes....like no one in this show production consulted or talked with any actual military personnel. Especially with the Halo universe having protocols and contingencies regarding covenant technology, like you don't send an unmanned pod to an enemy ship with no escort or away team and then bring it back without checking anything! Another thing is that plasma fingernail is impossible since the heat and energy from just plasma would melt and atomize that hand, hell the energy required to activate that is beyond anything she's wearing.

[@SPARTANTROOPER]

Paramount has fucked Halo lore with this show, but I think they have ruined Miranda Keyes so much more than any other character in terms of how much worse they have made them. She's gone from a competent and strong military commander to a spoilt brat scientist who never seems to actually do science. It also amuses me that the method you suggested for the brain cloning is basically how they actually do it in the game, Dr. Halsey clones her brain and copies the neural pathways to create several AI including Cortana, without the whole killing her own clone and sucking it's brain out through the eye thing. Cortana was an AI designed to assist the Spartans and was allowed to select the one who would carry her, in their armour and not their actual brainstem, because the armour has compatible hardware to her software. I hate this show so fucking much...

[@colnelScar2]

Yea since Cortana was the most advanced Smart AI created in the UNSC. Cortana has the computing power UNSC shipboard AI, which is ridiculously advanced and complex, and the adaptability, creativeness and critical thinking of a human brain.

[@nicholascowling7052]

Huh? IF Cortana is implanted in his brain, how is she able to create a hologram that other people can see? If she isn't a computer based AI in this, how does that make any sense???

[@disparutoo]

The only place it can come from is that little chip they put in his brain, that must simultaneously contain her, the hologram stuff, and somehow enable her to be the fastest AI computer in the universe somehow. Even though it's tiny enough to be in your head. So why can't they reproduce that inside the huge computers on their ships?

[@superstd]

not only that but how is she able to operate all her function with "master chief" brain while master chief also concious ? its weird they both can operate at the same time, is the brain not heated up and go haywire ?😅

[@DarthEvilicus]

Doesn’t Halo: Reach show us Cortana isn’t just your typical AI but an advanced fragment of Forerunner technology?

[@ReclaimerX22]

@@DarthEvilicus No. Cortana is unique because she is the only Smart AI created using living brain samples, and of Dr. Halsey's (cloned) genius brain no less.

[@DarthEvilicus]

@@ReclaimerX22 ok it’s been awhile since I’ve played reach

[@AncestorEmpire1]

Between Halo infinite’s lack of multiplayer support and the Halo tv series, this makes Halo 5’s campaign look like a masterpiece

[@ravenzero7222]

That's a big oooofff

[@AncestorEmpire1]

@@ravenzero7222 Microsoft remaining exclusive games: help us, Microsoft MS Gamepass: I’m sacrificing you to the Godhand.

[@ravenzero7222]

@@AncestorEmpire1 wow well done sir ,I like all those references

[@AncestorEmpire1]

@@ravenzero7222 the result of being on KZbin for over a decade.

[@DarthEvilicus]

343 makes worse and worse games so of course they are going to botch this show as well

[@seanmcclure]

You can definitely see the hatred the show runners have for the main character. They want to eliminate the only reason to watch the show so they can put the girl who has the key to everything in his place.

[@MariaIsabellaZNN]

If only they'd fix her awful hairstyle

[@theangrypenguin3014]

Bro y ain’t she blue

[@AmTrFilms]

Kwan is Kiki Wolfkills self insert

[@empresscortana4619]

@@AmTrFilms For real.

[@Rev_Goose]

Love these reviews! Saving me from watching this dumpster fire

[@JahonCross]

I not even gonna bother watching the show even if gamepass giving me an option to watch the show for free lol

[@RED-yx8pp]

Oh wow Cortana is a demon able to possess Master Chief now. 🤦‍♂️

[@GOBIAS.INDUSTRIES.]

How in god's name has Masterchief been in his full armor for like 20 minutes out of 3 hours worth of screentime. This is in no way Halo 🤦🏽‍♂️

[@Andrea_Gabrielli]

In episode 4, he’s going to take his skin off. Because, you know, obviously the audience can’t fully grasp his emotions and his character . . . unless we see the subtle twitches in his muscular system.

[@disparutoo]

Bring a whole new meaning to body language with that one.

[@xSilentZeroXx]

1:27 "So obviously, they get caught by the adults with the longer legs" Well that aged quite hilariously.

[@disparutoo]

Oh no D: I hadn't thought that my reviews may come back to haunt me via new and impossible to predict more awful shows lmao.

[@Orion-rl7js]

The stripping away the armor is analogous for the show stripping away anything that makes Halo...Halo.

[@disparutoo]

I do actually think it's an analogy to them stripping away what makes Master Chief Master Chief. As they dismantle him as a man and wake him up to his feelings.

[@stevemcgarry2307]

I'm so glad I've come across these reviews! They are so much better than watching the actual episodes! Thanks for your efforts on this series. Keep up the good work!

[@disparutoo]

Thanks for watching :)

[@TheUnmournedYank]

A human on an empty covenant ship that looks well taken care of, clean, and groomed. Not suspicious at all. Asian girl is up to 117’s chest, but up to the chin of 066. When 066 is the same height of 117. The size of 117 is massive, especially when shown side by side to marines and other Spartans at the end of halo 4

[@ViperChief117]

The only real reason as to why I honestly keep watching this series is Morbid curiosity as to how much worse this show can get by the end of this season. Episode 3 didn’t help their cause in that regard. Lol

[@disparutoo]

I demand to see Master Chiefs skeleton by the end of episode 5. They're doing a literal deconstruction of Master Chief.

[@ViperChief117]

@@disparutoo I mean if they keep taking off pieces of Chief’s armor like they have been. There won’t be anything left to reveal. XD

[@wolfoflight]

This bugs me immensely, Halsey used a tissue sample to make a flash clone copy of her brain and digitized it to male cortana. Smart ai are made from digital mapping a human brain and the process is destructive. Them making it a full clone is so shitty that I can hardly fathom it. It's like they have Karen Traviss writing the series. It would explain the hate boner that the series has for intelligent thought.

[@blankadams3120]

28:31 Cortana's face is an exact mirror to mine in this moment.

[@AuthoritativeNewsNetwork]

The stupidity and ridiculousness of both the writing and the show as a whole summed up perfectly: "Are you telling me the most advanced technology on this ship they have to observe something; is out of the window." 😂🤣😂

[@disparutoo]

It's like they watched Star Trek and didn't realise that viewscreen isn't just a piece of glass into space 😂

[@AuthoritativeNewsNetwork]

@@disparutoo ...transparent aluminium

[@bailysawyer804]

Damn you were not messing around about Pablo. Can’t wait for your episode 4 review

[@disparutoo]

Since this video I looked up his previous rolls, including when I saw him (but didnt realisr it was him) in American Gods. In that he proved he can clearly act, so why he's doing such a terrible job in this I have no idea.

[@CasanovaPugilist147]

Halo writers see AC Creed hidden blade for the first time .... "write that down, write that down" lol

[@younger544]

Wasn't Cortana actually a ships computer AI in the first game? Then he actually downloaded her into his suit when it became clear the ship was going to be lost and he wanted to protect her data?

[@a.w.r3311]

I'm pretty sure that Cortana is interfaced with whatever UNSC ship she happens to be on for tactical reasons (the Pillar of Autumn in H1 as you mentioned) such as automated processes she can perform. What bothers me is that they deviate from the idea that she has a physical chip that can be moved around because you know... interfacing. Instead she's stuck in chiefs head but still has access to everything?

[@SunwardRanger83]

I know this is late, but in the novel "The Fall of Reach," it's explained that Cortana is meant to primarily reside in the beefed-up computers in Master Chief's armor and use that and some of his own brain for processing power during most of a mission. She's transferable from Chief to various computers because one of her key roles is to act as a computer network intrusion specialist that can be physically inserted into the computer of a Covenant ship to help a Spartan team capture it intact. I believe the idea is that once she was plugged into a computer system she'd then hijack the system for the all the computing power she needed. She even makes a joke about it being a bit cramped in Chiefs head/armor. You also see her change quite a bit in power and attitude when she first gets inserted into the Halo array, which supports the idea that Cortana is primarily software that only has the computing power of whatever system she's interfaced with. In the end, the mission gets scrubbed when Reach gets attacked, and since the Pillar's own AI had just been installed and not booted up yet, (the Pillar had been finishing up extensive refitting for the mission,) they use Cortana during the battle instead. Then after fleeing the Reach system and discovering Halo, Master Chief has to take Cortana again to prevent her capture by the Covenant.

[@FS_Kang]

Thanks for watching and reviewing this trash so I don't have to. I haven't seen one second of the show but all 3 of your reviews. You're doing the lord's work sir.

[@disparutoo]

Thanks for the kind words and cheers for watching :)

[@Tony-hv8wz]

I'm willing to bet that they are gonna have master chief crying by the end of season

[@disparutoo]

Honestly I'm surprised this episode didn't end with it.

[@benjamintherogue2421]

@@disparutoo Same.

[@brianmurphy6480]

Disparu: "You don't get to be evil AND have the audience sympathize with you!" Hollywood & Co.: [Surprised Pikachu Face] 😮

[@bloodrunsclear]

'Obviously the adults with longer legs catch them...' Obi Wan Kenobi Show: 'Hold my blue milk'

[@vanneli]

I love your reviews. I have not seen this one your review yet, but after watching the episode there are some things that I want to say: Come and See! Come and see! The most annoying brat in the universe is back again! And more annoying than ever before! The magic triangle keeps being magic! It keeps doing whatever it needs to do in order to move the plot forward! The whining commander keeps whining! "Oh! Why is Dr. Halsey getting all the toys!" The point of stupid: A survivor of a Covenant attack on a planet comes back after being abducted and looks just like a well fed supermodel with perfectly coifed hair! And the stupid military personnel just didn't notice! And that is not all, The magic worms! They come from the games, but if the Covenant has them available, they can take Human ships without any loss. And finally: Yes! Because we just have to show it! a 6 feet tall guy butt!! Come and see! Come and see!

[@disparutoo]

Lmao yep, and that's all just the beginning or returning elements. We also get Cortana being totally bloodthirsty wanting to wipe out master chiefs entire brain. But when he tells her to go away acts all hurt and the show acts like he's the one in the wrong. Crazy

[@andrewmeyer3599]

Yeah, you gotta love how an entirely separate science division leader is throwing a fucking temper tantrum because another science division leader is doing their fucking job. I seriously hate this version of Miranda, all she does is make me want to punch her in the fucking face and tell her to get the fuck over herself she is the literal polar opposite of Halsey in the worst god damn way possible: a whiney, incompetent dipshit who doesn't understand why whining about something being unfair is fucking retarded

[@thedrunkenirishman9832]

Watching you're review the show is so damn entertaining and funny. Good job and keep up the good work

[@w.g.6961]

Well done Sir. Sad though that the review was a damn sight better than the show.

[@jakeboylan9493]

I like how the doctor using the Ned Flanders voice is clearly going to be evil at some point

[@disparutoo]

He basically was at this. He paralysed her then was about to do a LOT of stuff if his boss hadn't walked in.

[@jakeboylan9493]

@Disparu yea but we all know it's going to get so much worse. I'll predict he tries to take cortanna from Master Chief and he'll defend her. Even though she's objectively EVIL!!

[@brokencreationlordmegatrol3037]

How do the writers not fucking realise how evil she is coming across :I

[@ASoberBear]

One year late but because they themselves are evil. They despise Christian based morality crossover.

[@Moose_vk]

Bruh Cortana out here lookin like a whole-ass Metaverse avatar...

[@TheUnmournedYank]

This thumbnail is the most terrifying thumbnail I’ve ever seen

[@disparutoo]

The funny thing is she pulled faces like this repeatedly during the first episode

[@marychocolatefairy]

Love your consultation with wikipedia on the "Great Leap Forward" lol! The disastrous script had me looking up the writers, who are just the two showrunners. One had done neither hard scifi nor military before this- he had a few short-lived shows that focused on relationships. The other showrunner at least did have a series with a military team and some scifi elements... but it was "The Last Ship", where a pandemic kills off most of the world. That makes me look on him with suspicion, heh.

[@ReclaimerX22]

Don't forget that he also worked on Netflix's live action adaptation of Death Note 😒🤦🏻‍♂️ Contrast this with the original crew from when the possibility of a Halo movie was first rumored in the mid/late 2000's... Drafts of a script were written by Alex Garland, who went on to write Dredd (2012), a story about a stoic action hero who wore a mask for the entire movie, and fans of the character were really happy with it. It was going to be directed by Niell Blomkamp, who directed the Halo Landfall shorts, and eventually went on to direct the scifi film District 9. It was going to be produced by Peter Jackson, the man who made arguably one of the most successful and faithful book-to-film adaptations of all-time, the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Instead we got this... 😮‍💨

[@asiastormy8728]

How can CORTANA be appearing everywhere she elike without a platform to project or materials if it is inside Master Chief brain? And future time where things are so advance but you still need a planet of junk to be separated by children??

[@whos-the-stiff]

No one would have believed in the early part of the 21st century that a human would have to point out that eyeballs are receptors not transmitters.

[@disparutoo]

In the current year all established facts must now be rediscovered and repeated lmao

[@SargeKot]

I LOVE your sense of humor! Subscribed! I've been laughing for the past 30minutes 🤪 Thank you!

[@disparutoo]

Thanks for watching :) and cheers for the sub :)

[@hiroshima19]

That 1 dislike is the only fan of this show lol

[@disparutoo]

I do tend to get about 1 comment per video from someone who likes it. I'm hoping by the end of the series I might be able to find a full 9 people who enjoyed the show. Almost double figures would be impresssive work to uncover.

[@Hawkcam1996]

21:30 I expected you to bring up how impossible it would be for the aliens to leave the ship *when the engines died* even though it was just traveling through slipspace

[@joshuacalkins]

Smug Cortana made Halo Infinite a huge disappointment. Now she may be the worst part of this travesty of a show.

[@Cassandra112]

you missed a big ?????? how is Cortana being projected? She doesn't exist exclusively in John halo's head. other people see her. so she's manifesting in reality... how? in the game, shes an A.I, she exists in computers. she can only manifest as a visible being, through a projector. which are typically a quite bulky piece of tech.. with a tiny cortana projection.

[@fionnaitsradag5152]

Good catch on "The Great Leap Forward".

[@linus116]

I can only imagine how much I would rage if I actually watched this… This show made me buy the Halo MCC on steam just to go through the ACTUAL Halo story. This is just sad.

[@hammerofscience534]

I just did the same thing 😀😀

[@alexanderrobins7497]

Don’t forget to read the books and graphic novels made before 2012.

[@Dr.Cosmar]

40:11+ Just adding a few lines...that's all it would have taken to make this scene make sense. Cortana: *Tells him about the plague, quarantine, and survivors.* Master Chief: "How were the survivors sent out if the planet was quarantined??" Possible answers to make the show better; Cortana: "I'm sorry... we don't have access to that information, it's above even Hall-sea. Classified." or Cortana: *same, but actually lying this time at the command of Hallsee* (I don't care to spell her name right) or Cortana: " It looks like one ship made it off the planet. A single ship ferried nearly 500 kids to UNSC ships standing by. It appears the rest is classified..." In military settings, the classic trope of "this information is classified" is just how the military is. Ask any staff sergeant how many times they get inundated with things they can't read, but they have to give to someone. If it's a different universe, tell us how your spartans came to be spartans. 497 kids go into the program, and 300 killing machines come out. This is mountains of flashback gold if you really want to do flashbacks that actually have relevancy and not contrived fate/destiny "your past is connected to your future" bullshit.

[@vernoneden]

Ay least we have halo, halo 2, halo 3 and Reach and no one can take that away from us

[@alexanderrobins7497]

As well as the books and graphic novels prior to 2012.

[@disparutoo]

This is exactly the way to think, that's what I did with Wheel of Time tv show. Don't consider it part of the IP then laugh at it. The only thing these people have is a desperate attempt to associate their work with something people actually care about, because no-one ever will about what they make.

[@vernoneden]

They just took the popular ip to print their shitty and talentless “art”. Otherwise no one would ever watch it

[@Lord_Thunderballs]

And the Halo Wars games. Red team is badass. I hope to see more of Jerome

[@thegoggle823]

Straight up, of all the problems with the show, the one the bothered me most about this episode was the way the bridge scene played out. It's not a proportional reaction, I know, because so much about the show is objectively more objectionable. But the fact that they detected the covenant ship and she didn't turn in her seat to shout that information to the captain, and the fact that the captain didn't shout orders to the rest of the bridge to make ready for battle just really bothered me. Like, all the other Halo-specific issues aside because we know they don't care about Halo, have these people never seen an episode of Battlestar Galactica, or Star Trek, or Midway, or Master and Commander? This is supposed to be a warship, why does the bridge crew behave like a team of confused librarians?

[@disparutoo]

The captain didnt even look around when an ALARM went off. And can you imagine everyone walking upto him to relay information, therefor leaving their post? What if something else happened they now cant see as theyre walking around. Insanity. Then when we looked out the window...just wow lmao.

[@jimreaper1337]

Thank you for this, Disparu you are the best

[@iixmercerxii2934]

That Batwoman joke tho lol

[@disparutoo]

The only thing restraining these writers from replacing the brains of every type A with a type B is that an ancient species of aliens with morals wont let them lmao. A true insight into their psyche lmao.

[@iixmercerxii2934]

@@disparutoo LMAO True say. Pathetic story telling. I still don't know who this is for ?

[@T__TheWhite_Bearded_Gamer]

18:58 This was the best utilization of the Bat woman meem I've heard. I salute you Sir.😆😆😆😆👍👍👍👍👍👍

[@X-ForceBro]

Why is he wearing Spartan armor if he has no way to charge it

[@Tallmedicbro]

I don’t even understand how paramount thought this would be good.

[@disparutoo]

Either everyone in the business has zero talent. Which is possible when companies get HR departments who stop hiring based on the best person for the job. Or they're doing it intentionally. Not intentionally awful, but more that they don't care about the quality because what matters to them is pushing their ideas and morals onto people. And because these are so awful in themselves, they can only EVER create terrible shows from them.

[@ZombiesVsMyGuns]

How could any group of people dedicated this much time and money into a show and not realise its objectively terrible

[@benjamintherogue2421]

@@ZombiesVsMyGuns Because their mission is to destroy our myths and legends, not make money or tell good stories.

[@johndodo2062]

Cortana is a hyper advanced ai and is now powerful than super computers. She's mostly there for tactical field recon and to help work tech that chief can't. They are even screwing this up ffs

[@CourtneyIsGoblin]

As a female writing a book where the main character is an adult male, I will try my best to ensure that he doesn't talk about his feefees the whole time. And never in a hallway. I see now that that is a common pitfall in modern writing. lol

[@SargeKot]

That woman fit joke never gets old 😂😂

[@AudraT]

So, slaves are valuable and, besides the fact that a guard wants to beat a child slave to death for no reason, it just wouldn't make any sense for any slave owner to casually kill their slaves off like that.

[@nicholaskinkaid]

34:32 That "ASMR section of twitch" joke gave me such a good laugh. Well played.

[@disparutoo]

That's one of those "it's funny because it's true" moments.

[@nicholaskinkaid]

@@disparutoo Exactly! Which is also sad when thinking about it. But fortunately the joke makes it more funny than sad, lol.

[@Glorfindel_117]

Yeah im never watching this garbage. Thanks for doing these videos to expose what it is. This show really nails in my thoughts on the upcoming lotr show. We already know it'll be trash since the showrunners say they hate Tolkien, just like how these people say they never cared about the games. While Halo was the most important game in my life, Tolkien actually had stories that shaped my worldview. Halo was just a fun game that I cherished with my brother, but Tolkien getting dissected will hurt far FAR worse.

[@ReclaimerX22]

36:49 ... actually, cellos are featured quite prominently in the Halo games' soundtracks lol, and their absence in the TV show soundtrack is just one more thing making this show feel less like Halo.

[@PDRich]

I don't know what's worse at Paramount +, Halo or Star Trek. I wonder if paramount will reshuffle their board again, for some industry professionals this time...

[@disparutoo]

I'd say Halo. Because they're all bad for similar reasons, but at least their attempt at star trek has SOMETHING happening in an episode, even if it's awful. The last 2 Halos hasn't had anything happen in it except feelings.

[@PDRich]

@@disparutooBuddy, I think you're right. In another way (As I said to Dan Hadley at The Spacebook the other day) Star Trek keeps subtly sliding away from Canon so much, that you can easily tell the difference between Kurtzman-Trek and Legacy Trek. This, even though nothing happens is like The Halo Franchise has infected with Ophiocordyceps Unilateralis (Zombie Fungus), It's literally like 'The Flood' has infected the writing room.

[@natashasullivan4559]

Also.. if you'd read any of the books (the writers) Cortana didn't like Master Chief at first.. at all.. he was just another jarhead to her. She was dismissive of him.. until they had to do a test run together (where they were low key just trying to kill him..) And Cortana got to see how his mind works, how actually special he is. Not all this crap. And that he actually has a brain. And cares for his people. Then, once she realized he wasn't just another jarhead.. it was a partnership... Not her wanting to take over his brain.. a partnership. They ended up getting really close, really good friends.. like.. I just Literally she didn't like him at first. Not all this, he's amazing and special... 😵🤦🏽‍♀️

[@ViperChief117]

Well that’s definitely a side of Master Chief that I hope that I honestly never see of said character ever again. This TV series is laughably bad and not just for the random ass nude scenes in the series. Lmao

[@nicolasgamant7389]

"stop sexualising wahman" yet the same people do the same thing with mens....oh the irony

[@kopykat6843]

I mean, what's worse is they sexualized that Blondie chick too... So hypocrisy complete?

[@Throgmoyd]

Gotta love any review that employs the term, "up his jacksie"...

[@harrys6231]

i really dislike that you torture yourself with garbage like that. But your takes on it are pure comedic gold. Do what is good for you and never loose your sense of humor and you should be fine. I havent watched one single episode of this thanks to you. And i sincerly thank you for spareing me the braindamage it would have caused me.

[@madebymonkeys5641]

No animals died in the making of this review..... However lots of Halo died...... In the making of Halo ....... 😒

[@MaztRPwn]

How the hell did they re-write the creation of Cortana and her meeting Chief in such a needlessly complicated and awful way?

[@theboredguy2107]

A comment for the algorithm to spread the truth of this heresy worthy of being glassed in to oblivion

[@iamzaymusic]

I hate that John had his helmet off for the majority of this episode. Even when he was on the ship. I heard it was the actors choice to not want to wear the helmet as much so that he could emote more and people would take him more seriously as an actor.

[@disparutoo]

He had his helmet off for 100% of this episode. He was in his suit for a tiny amount, but his helmet was always off lmao

[@iamzaymusic]

@@disparutoo yeah I hate that they are sacrificing the quality of the show so he can “emote more”. Everyone knows the helmet should stay on the majority of the time. Same thing happened with Kylo Ren in Star Wars.

[@georgethakur]

Yeah, because body language ain't a thing.

[@iamzaymusic]

@@georgethakur huh?

[@georgethakur]

@@iamzaymusic Chief emotes with body language all the time in the games. It's amplified so much because we can't see his face and because he's stoic most of the time, you know

[@theprowler18]

Appreciate your sacrifice of your brain and eyes, for what is clearly a dumpster fire of an adaptation. Just as I called it in 2 episodes of Star Trek Discovery, it seems that logic has helped to pass on trash like this.

[@RantTheRetort]

How do you write women so well? "I think of a man, and take away reason and accountability" Jack Nicholson. This exchange is why Halo, Batwoman, Picard, STD, Dr. Whoke, etc suck as much as they do. All the characters are written as an angry lesbians twitter bluecheck.

[@shawnkay5462]

Love the Dumpster Fire Reviews

[@disparutoo]

I think this style of review only works when it's a dumpster fire. Anything I actually liked would likely be much shorter and me just giving a talking head overview.

[@shawnkay5462]

@@disparutoo yeah youre right 😂.

[@victoriuswashington8901]

So very grateful for this review. This was the last episode I was able to watch before quitting on the show 😂

[@MajorSmurf]

holy moly that's bad type b's backstory. WOW that is so god dam weak. Oh she got beat and her friend died by a bad man but giant aliens didn't beat her so they're good? Any reasonable animal (Yes us humans are animals) would have ran or defended themselves. It also ruins the only thing I know about the covenant. They hate all humans. Even if she was special there is no way they wouldn't have bound her in chains while experimenting/torturing her and kept her as a pet. The only reason to me is that writer seems to think that bad guys can't be too evil and they really wanted a female villain for some reason.

[@colebuckon3856]

I will allow the show this concession: as I recall it, the question of, “If Halsey can copy her memories into a clone, why can’t she just use that same technology to make Cortana directly?” is a bit of a plot hole in the lore of Smart A.I.s in the games/books, too.

[@ladyd-t-w711]

Once more "a great review" - thank you! :)

[@disparutoo]

Thanks for watching :)

[@hephaestusrising5598]

Setting aside the complete lack of understanding and knowledge of the Halo lore, the writers of this cursed shit smear of a show have no idea how to tell a story.

[@michaelthompson5933]

I just found your channel and I am so glad that I did

[@jeffagain7516]

The script writing in this show is so bad, so mind-numbingly bad, that I suspect I've lost a significant amount of brain cells even witnessing a review. Of course I'll never watch an actual episode of this raging dumpster fire, as I value what cognitive reasoning I still possess. Thanks for taking one for the team again Buddy. Your sacrifices are duly noted. Not sure how long you can stand up against this cerebral assault though. Please, pull out before it's too late!

[@christosgkr8140]

So Miranda Keyes is now a black scientist that invented everything the unsc is using?? Did I forget anything??

[@christianlaw1992]

I was looking forward to hate watching this for 2 years but the plasma sword nail did it for me. So much wasted potential.

[@S4ns]

I actively hate this show. I mean, when other shows suck, it's easy to just stop watching and dismiss them. But this? I seek out other people ripping this trash apart for the sheer satisfaction of it.

[@abominationaj1]

Lol Disparu your hands are all over the place. That's passion though lmao.

[@disparutoo]

I've always talked with my hands 😂You should see all the times I have to cut something because I bang my mic lmao

[@wuvvix1892]

I dont understand why they wouldn't know shit about the covenant. They know a lot about them in the games as far as i can see. You know within the first game who they are and what they want to do. They're a sentient alien race that for one reason or another wants to activate the halo rings.

[@theangrypenguin3014]

Where are my grunts my all powerful grunts. And don’t the covenant hate humans ? This show constantly confuses me as someone who’s used to the lore. And when u called Cortana thick 🤣🤣🤣 I almost lost my drink

[@gogroxandurrac]

46:20 unfortunately, they do indeed exist. My buddy is a huge Halo fan, to the extent that he owns and regularly plays all of the games including the RTS ones, and he's loving the show. I don't even like Halo that much, but even I can tell that the show isn't meant for fans of an FPS.

[@awefunbit7881]

Then why call it halo. Call it something else and just change more stuff. It’s not halo.

[@gogroxandurrac]

@@awefunbit7881 That's my thought process as well. Unfortunately, he doesn't care if the portrayal is accurate so long as the show is getting created. Even worse is that I don't think he's a minority. FPS enthusiasts are among the branches of gamers that I'd be least surprised to know don't actually know the stories of the games they play.

[@mattperkins261]

Please tell me the name of the episode was "Master-Cheeks". It's not halo. It's trash.

[@disparutoo]

The name was "Emergence", which I wouldn't be surprised if it WAS a reference to that all the same lmao. They'll pretend "oh it's Cortana", but she didn't emerge, she was created.

[@anvec6145]

even making Cortana- one of the fan favorite females- unlikable? So they're just ruining the entire brand across the board. Thats about the only consistency I see here

[@disparutoo]

Its weird because they portray her as if she is MEANT to be likeable, she even calls Master Chief as rude and he's portrayed as having acted badly when he doesnt like her. While at the same time he's meant to put up with all of her betrayal. It's a bizarre situation, where it can only make sense if you assume that cortana CANT actually do anything wrong. And you should always like her, because she's her, regardless of what abhorrent actions she does. Which is a terrible message, but one I'd not put it past them to push.

[@anvec6145]

@@disparutoo yeah, its getting to the point where I'm of the opinion that if any research was done at all- it was simply to find what was endearing or inspiring about the Halo universe and contradict it at every turn. Chief is mentally battered to the point where he's simple and incompetent without (insert female-ish guidance) and barely uses his equipment. an insulting portrayal of the highly capable futuristic soldier at the center of the franchise Nearly every showing of the Covenant has been oddly submissive, lacking the zealous ferocity and clearly structered antigonist group The women on the show are either damaged or damaging depending on which issues they decide to hurl at Chief to remind him he's a tool This "Silver Age" is pretty much the Jaded and Spiteful to Fans/Gamers Universe

[@TheSimpleMan454]

They're gonna pull some shit about "looking into his heart" just wait.

[@goldenmongoose1717]

I don't know why they hired the people that made mass effect andromida to do the CGI in Halo but bad move

[@bradwolf07]

Halsey, with her clones and Kortana, has me confused (yeah I know I'm not alone there). Nothing she's doing makes a d*mn bit of sense. Is Kortana Halsey clone brain? If not, what did the clone has to do with Kortana? And why would Halsey clone or Kortana listen to her willingly? She doesn't seem to be the type to listen to anyone, even another version of herself. Edit: For the record, spelling is to distinguish from show from Games As for the Little Miss Mass Death, I know it's too much for her to D*e horribly, but please?! Darn it

[@michealbohmer2871]

At 23:00: Master Chief does best Darksydephil impersonation.