MONTESSORI AT HOME: 5 Tips for Quiet Time

[@tammysales2002]

We do an hour of quiet time every day. We call it DEAR time, which stands for Drop Everything And Read/Relax/Recuperate/Recharge. My 2 and a half year old usually naps. My 5 year old listens to an audio book and plays or draws. I usually make a cup of tea and read. We eat lunch at about 11:30 (we homeschool), followed by DEAR time.

[@MagsNLily]

Thx for the reminder! My school implemented DEAR when I was a kid, although the R just stood for read. I love ur addition of relax, recharge. Will def implement this

[@elisabethcuningham3526]

I love this! Thanks for sharing!

[@cjrrob7336]

Great tips Ashley & the importance of quiet time cannot be stressed enough. My children are close to your age. LOL. & Way back then I implemented quiet time religiously because i needed it as much as they did. It made the 2nd half of the day so much more pleasant for all of us. We didn't have TV on much at all so that was their quiet time. There was a 1/2 hr show on called Reading Rainbow & they loved it. I guess it came on early afternoon & boy did they look forward to it, the host read a book and showed the pics much like a parent would read to their child. I would lay down on the couch & half listen, half doze & i just can't tell you how we all loved that half hour everyday. When it was over they pushed the off button (no remotes in those days) and they would take turns telling me the story, thinking i had been napping. They were so proud of themselves telling me a story that only they heard & were positive i could have never heard before. lol. Its definitely a wonderful memory. Btw you look very pretty today Ashley. 💞💞

[@susanagonzalezcodina9758]

my kids have their hour of tv during quiet time as well. it works for us too

[@LissaxKristine]

Oh! I remember Reading Rainbow!

[@cjrrob7336]

@@LissaxKristine right!!?? My kids just loved that show!!!

[@theshrey]

LeVar Burton has a show on Spotify where he reads short stories he likes. It’s great!

[@cjrrob7336]

@@theshrey wow thats interesting to know. So hes had a long career.

[@MariaandMontessori]

Cannot stress enough how important it is to do something for you during that quiet time! We model practical life skills all day long to our kids, but when are we modeling hobbies and reading? I know I don't get to those until my daughter is sleeping! They can't internalize the importance of hobbies like reading if they never see the people most important to them doing so.

[@rayyg786]

When my daughter still had two naps, the first naptime always was me time (usually asmr videos on my hammock and tea) the second naptime was for productivity (clean kitchen usually).

[@megtee9416]

Definitely look into sand timers for visual time keeping ! They're really lovely and calming in the home and a great way for little ones to learn how long time is without the need for numbers

[@LissaxKristine]

I think the biggest takeaway from this is that "Quiet Time" isn't just an activity on the kids' schedule. It's part of the household schedule. That means, whenever possible, the adults should be taking their quiet-time break too. I, personally, love this idea. At my last daycare job, while the younger children napped, the older children [pre-K through 3rd grade] were able to do quiet tabletop activities (including playing games on tablets). The teachers were able to take a bit of a "break", read, knit/crochet, or use their laptops. It was quiet time for everyone. I would love to be able to do the same thing at my current job. During the hour that the 4-5 year old children have to rest (some sleep, but others look at books, etc), I would love to be able to model that it's quiet time for them by reading my own book or working on a knitting project, etc.

[@mariepfriem7533]

Benefits 1:42 Time and rest for your child 3:21 Time and rest for the parent Tips 4:09 Schedule it 5:38 Set a timer 7:45 Quiet activities 10:16 Find your own quiet time activity 12:23 Remain available 15:00 Sibling squabbles

[@elizabethdavis3417]

Our quiet time rule has always been "read, rest, or pray", so no games. But I am thinking of adding coloring or drawing, I think the older ones would like that. We usually meet together when it is over at 3 for a brief prayer.

[@lyndey]

My 2 year old still takes a 3 hour nap every day and I live in fear of when it will end, but this definitely helps me feel comfortable with the idea of naps ending.

[@KaayBeeee]

Holy shit I'm so jealous. My 2yr old gets maybe 1.5hr nap if I'm lucky. She's up twice a night every night and wakes at 6am without fail. I'm so tired haha

[@lyndey]

@@KaayBeeee I hear you and you have my sympathy! My daughter was a terrible sleeper for the first year. For a few months, she woke up every 30 minutes. I don't know how she did a 180 and became a great sleeper, but I will never forget the absolute exhaustion of that first year.

[@rayyg786]

Heheeee Same. She is almost 4 and sleeps 2h When we are home. Tricky When out. Soooo relaxing When home.

[@cecynay7369]

I am so jealous of this! I hoped I would have this kid, but my oldest dropped naps completely by 18 months 😮‍💨

[@memetchipizza]

Can you talk about routines? I'm trying to figure a routine for a 2-year-old toddler

[@AmiableGrace]

I would love to know how you introduced audiobooks to your daughters and just general tips to help your kids be excited for reading. I know you’ve talked about the Yoto but I could see this being a entire video!

[@HapaFamily]

Good to know, I’ve been thinking about doing a video on that anyway! :)

[@rayyg786]

@@AmiableGrace ok, was genuinely surprised about hearing kids not liking Reading but definitely removing my comment, as I certainly did not want to upset anyone.

[@kirsharbishop-joseph2851]

I think I need quiet time just before bed because the madness up until he sleeps is ridiculous! Instead of settling to bed my son literally goes wild until he falls asleep. So will definitely try quiet time around evening time

[@piyadapanjaroen6207]

Could you please recommend 10 boardgames in Montessori way

[@cocowhite588]

I noticed that as soon as my toddler turned 2 she stopped napping for like a week, but I also noticed that was the time when we got her some new toys. We introduced her with three different toys and 3 different books that week. Moreover I noticed she wasn’t playing as before and she looked super cranky in the afternoon. Adding to that we were doing one activity a day (for example cutting, painting, coloring, etc etc). In conclusion I decided to introduce a new toy maybe once a month, a different book once a week. Activity every two days and between a calm time in the front yard. That changed everything! She naps again and she looks more focused on her toys/activity/books. Which let me wondering do we over stimulated our kids with so many activities? Or maybe I’m over exaggerating things? I learned all that listening to the podcast from simplicity parenting. Kim John Payne let me questioning so many things and he looks super extreme even at the time of picking books for toddlers and kids!!!. But then Lovevery comes with new kits and that is not helping me 🤣. Anyway I love your channel and all the work you do ♥️.

[@BeatrixFrancia]

Quiet time is so refreshing and rejuvenating for the mind. If I had kids I would love them to be able to notice its beneficial effects. Great video Mama! Big hug from Italy ❤️

[@annikaernberg7342]

We have gotten into a 'bad' habit of using screens during quiet time which is something we would like to use less in our home, so thankful for these tips. Will try and implement some quiet time without screens from now on!

[@Annisa_Kacang]

Same. I’ve been working on independent play instead of screen time or we allow her to listen to music (kids music)

[@vitaliaschultz138]

I am always amazed how wonderful mamma you are. I get so many ideas from you. We're not 100% Montessori but I love the idea behind it. The learning toys and so on.

[@deannapolaski9485]

We love quiet time in our home! Although we started at an hour. My son always had trouble napping, so when it was time to switch from naps to quiet time we said, "You can either fall asleep or play quietly in your room for an hour." he started staying up there for an hour from day one. Now he'll sometime stay up there for up to 2 hours.

[@rainbowkitten8990]

Quiet time is so important to us. Being autistic myself, taking some time out for myself is so so important. I paint in my room, listen to music, read or sometimes I get my warm blanket and snuggle up and have a 30 minute nap.

[@kimmarie500]

I watch this channel for my toddler, but honestly this video just gave me so many great ideas to use with my adolescent steps when they are here, thanks!

[@sueyates3555]

Thanks so much for these tips on quiet time. This so helps you and the child.

[@Lissetnr]

Just what I was wanting to see… I’ve been watching your videos since i found your channel and you make an amazing work!! Thank you!!!!

[@anpulicious]

I learn so much from each and every montessori at home video you post. Thank you so much.

[@Misssexy128]

An hourglass or a mark on an analog clock are also good options for visual timers

[@MariaandMontessori]

Yes! A relaxing visual timer like an hourglass is used a lot in the Montessori class in their relaxing/reading corners as a way for the child to focus on one thing and calm their body!

[@Katruth5797]

Great video!! How do you deal with being around other parents who implement different parenting styles and have different views? My fiancé’s sister screams, hits, shows lots of shows and movies, etc and we are uncomfortable bringing our child into that environment but also it’s family and we see them often. How do you go about dealing with this / having your child in that type of environment that they will never see at home?

[@lilikoijuci]

Its ok to have your children interact with other children and families that are in line with what your trying to I instill in your children and move away from the bad influences.

[@cobanancy28]

Thank you I love your suggestions it’s been a challenge to incorporate quiet time with my boys I have a 3 and a 5 year old.

[@Helenaicc]

I just love how much new information I learn in your channel. I’ve never heard of this but I found it super important/helpful and interesting. Thanks!

[@GinaAkao]

Quiet time after lunch is a good idea. I will give it a try with my three year old boy. Thanks so much for making these videos!

[@ruthstrup8455]

I love your videos. You have a great conversational style. Please keep them up.

[@mhenley08]

I especially like the tip of not forcing it... I’m guilty of trying it that way and it didn’t last 😒 Do you feel a scheduled quiet time is necessary if a child already plays independently in longer spurts throughout the day?

[@yaliyu7695]

For homes that are smaller where the living room would be the only yes-space and has to double as play area + quiet time area, any advice on how to make the distinction between independent play and quiet time?

[@jackie4114]

Have a prop. Bring out a quiet time stuffed animal or a basket of colouring books. Something like that. Even an egg timer or clock.

[@rayyg786]

We don't Schedule Quiet time (almost 4, still naps 2hours a day) but I do inforce it! She needs to play quietly by herself every day. Usually it used to be after waking up, about one hour. Lately it's during the day, whenever I need to do something and concentrate, and she is content.

[@user-ky2vx9yk2d]

I have a doubt. How different is this quiet time compared to the independent play time for which you have another video? Thanks in advance! :)

[@OverHaluyu]

Love learning about Montessori from your videos! I started watching when I was pregnant and somehow I now have a 6month old. I wasn't able to mentally do much but just get through the last couple months but I think I'm at a good space to start now and I hope its not too late. I ordered the object permanence ball and it'll be arriving soon. Super excited and I wondered if your husband will be coming out with more woodworking projects?

[@bimperio2655]

Thank you for sharing these helpful ideas ❤️

[@Crumpetsandteawithtimeless]

Thank you for this video!!! My husband and I had no idea about why it is important. Can you make a video on play time for 4 month olds or smaller babies? We just put her on the play mat from LoveEvery.

[@dsofiap15]

Hi Ashley! I have a question. When is it ok to start with quiet time? Since they're babies? When did you guys started with Mia?

[@oliviab3807]

Love this! Can you please do a follow up with activities specific to age… my daughter is almost two

[@mariamabah3259]

Hi Ashley, thank you for this video! I am always so excited when you post. I have a few questions and I really hope you get the chance to respond. I have an 18 month old daughter who is quite clingy, she loves being around me all day, even when she is playing/doing shelf work. I feel quiet time will be very difficult for her because she even struggles when I am doing the washing up, preparing food etc. We have very little space in the kitchen but I try to involve her in there as much as I can. My questions are: - can you do a step by step guide on how to start the quiet time? how do I explain to her what’s happening and what if she rejects it? Which I know she will. - is 18 months perhaps too young for quite time, or do I just have child who wants to be social all the time?? I do want quiet time to work for us but I feel like it’s unrealistic for her, especially since she doesn’t have own room yet. I would really appreciate your help here. Keep doing what your doing, your videos have completely transformed my parenting for the better. ♥️

[@LissaxKristine]

Thing is, for a lot of kids, the "quiet-time" block at 18 months is naptime. Quiet time is often implemented when kids transition out of naps. I think one option could be to not rush into the room after naptime. Give her a few minutes alone where she can play before you get her up from her nap. Then, when she's transitioning out of naptime, you can transition into quiet time. Have quiet time in the same place she naps at the same time. If the routine is, after lunch, she has naptime, then stick with that. For a time, she may nap intermittently, but you can set a timer. If she's not asleep after a certain amount of time (depending on how long it takes her to fall asleep normally), then you can come in and get her. Over time, extend that awake quiet-time window as she's able to tolerate more independent awake time. Or start calling naptime "quiet time" now. Napping is a quiet time activity after all.

[@philippapay4352]

After lunch seems appropriate since it is more or less midday and gives them time to digest their lunch before doing anything more physical and use the potty and working your way up to an hour sounds ideal. Ah, crocheting and watching the deer outside your window sounds like wonderful quiet time to me. Pretty soon they learn that they can often find you in the kitchen or laundry room, sad to say. Kids do need to practice being alone with others around the house somewhere, so they know it's ok to need privacy. They also need to learn how to resolve things between themselves. There are conflict resolution programs run by the Quakers in some local courthouses to get disputes between neighbors resolved outside of the legal setting. Often they find really odd things, like the barking dog problem was fixed when the one neighbor agreed to paint the separating picket fence between their properties purple. At times what appears to be the problem isn't and really unusual things resolve it.

[@sallybee3560]

Great tips, thank you!

[@floraresl]

Yes! Its amazing how so little kids (mine are 3 and 2) are so often able to solve their problems by themselves ;) also if they argue or something… I do my stuff, and they do often come Up with solutions ;) I love it! Did expect that to happen si soon ;)

[@panayotadestiny5125]

Amazing information thank you!

[@yeoki1723]

I think Mia is only a couple of weeks older than my daughter. Thanks for all the videos. I learn a lot. From another Hapa family :D

[@nishaniekanayaka]

Thank you so ooooooooooooooooooo much. Love from Sri Lanka

[@Annisa_Kacang]

Just to clarify, is this different than independent play?

[@soulmatesis1]

Love your videos! What are your views on montessori v. Unschooling?

[@caelynn42]

I actually enjoy cleaning and find many chores therapeutic. In this case, would this be a good quiet time activity for me?

[@HapaFamily]

Then in your case, I suppose so! ;)

[@MarcusGrey]

Can you talk about teaching patience? What to do when a toddler doesn’t want to wait for the presentation of the activity? They’d rather rush in. Should I just let him try to figure it out himself?

[@MarcusGrey]

This is so helpful !! Thank you 😊❤️

[@crystalgale15]

Thank you for the tips! I will definitely rewatch this when my kiddo is a toddler. I am still pregnant right now haha 😂

[@karoosten232]

Can you help us to distinguish quiet time vs independent play? My 2 year old naps daily, but also plays very well by himself (toys on his shelf, flipping through books, trains, blocks) for about 30 minutes when I’m in the kitchen and he’s in the playroom.

[@karoosten232]

Also, any tips about workouts? I do workouts during naps (weights and using machines at home) but think this will eventually be quiet time (which isn’t rest)… so would love to know if you have any insight on this!

[@divleb]

Did you use to implement this for Kylie while Mia was younger and taking naps? When did they stopped taping altogether?

[@rrr441]

Hi! How soon can you start quiet time? My daughter just turned 1 and she is a very active baby. Can't stay in one place more than a few minutes. I'm having trouble calming her...

[@surabhiagrawal8469]

How early can you introduce quiet time? At what age can children understand what quiet time is?

[@krystalynnwilliams6992]

What is the difference between independent play and quiet time

[@ashleebickley1222]

I really struggle with some of this. My 3.5 year old looks at quiet time kind of like a time out. He has plenty of toys in his room but he yells and whines about being alone. It's not restful for anyone. But if we're in the same space, he's definitely not quiet. And he really needs that time for alone play. He has a 14mo sister who's always in his space, so he lashes out physically. I'd love any advice, including from viewers reading this comment. Thanks!

[@mathangin]

Hi Ashley Thank you for this video I’ve been waiting for your reply on my question… if you could reply to that, it’ll be very helpful :) So about this video and specifically about playing together unsupervised. So generally when not just your own kids but when kids play with other kids and there is some kind of hierarchy that gets established and so may be one kids turns out to be the alpha kid. That is the kind of situation that I’m not comfortable with and am not sure how to approach it. What do you suggest.

[@JessicaNWheeler]

Do you do quiet time on the weekends as well?

[@liv.2386]

Question: you say “let the kids be kids” when you notice they start quarreling.. BUT what should I do if the older one (5years old) begins being a little more intense and physical (air fists that sometimes land on her sister) with her 2 years old sister.. how can I deal this situation 😢😲 help Ashley! I need more videos on siblings situations! 🙈☺️ (my weekly highlight and “me time” is watching you! Tuesday and Thursdays are sacred and very awaited for me 💖🥰)

[@HappyHealthyandFree]

I’ve been running into more physical alterations (air fists and sometimes hitting) with our littles too. They are 2 and 4. I’m trying to train myself to say. I can’t let you hit Rafael and blocking then redirecting. I would love Ashley’s tips too

[@HappyHealthyandFree]

Awesome information. My 2 yr old plays GREAT by himself however my 4 yr old constantly wants me to be involved. I want him to have more independent play. So we will start 2 mins while I’m in the room. What are good phrases when he asks me for help? Maybe I know you want me to play with you but we have 2 mins of quiet time.

[@LissaxKristine]

I think modeling would be great here. Why don't you pick your own quiet-time activity like reading a book. It's not just his quiet time. It's YOURS as well.

[@zk.13]

Quiet time is mostly when my 1 year old naps, my 2 year old and i do some puzzles or quiet crafts that she can't enjoy while my 1year old is awake

[@chahinezghrieb3777]

My toddler take naps is it considered as a quiet time ?

[@bexlouise3331]

What would you say if one child wanted to take their quiet time on their own and the other wanted to play with their sibling? I look after a 4 and 2 year old who have big problems sharing/turn taking, especially the 4 year old. By afternoon they are getting tired and really struggle to manage their emotions and I feel that as the sharing is so tiring for them and they've been around each other all morning, they kind of need an enforced break from each other where particularly the 4 year old can play with a toy like his trains in the way he wants for a bit to recharge. Do you think it's ok to enforce this as the adult? We have a baby gate between 2 rooms downstairs that we use for the dog, so could easily have one child in each room with their chosen toys! This video was really well timed for me as I've been thinking this week about them having a little break from each other somehow, to give us all the energy for the rest of the day 🙂

[@LissaxKristine]

I have a friend who did quiet time with her 5 kids. Her youngest two napped (the youngest in the master bedroom walk-in closet, the second in his room). The older 3 rotated between the "new room" (homeschooling room), the girls' room, and the basement or dining room. Each child was assigned an area and that's where they had to spend their quiet time.

[@bexlouise3331]

@@LissaxKristine That sounds great, I'm definitely going to try it!

[@Jess-ee5gt]

I think it would definitely be beneficial to give them each their own separate spaces! That will really allow each child to enjoy their quiet time, have their own space and not have to socialise/converse for that time.

[@veronikacarrender7060]

What about quiet time if my 3 year old is still napping? A lot of people talk about switching from naps to quiet time but I think my daughter would benefit from quiet time on top of a nap especially on the weekends when we are all home (she is at daycare during the week). She gets overstimulated and wants to play with us all the time. We have been trying to do half an hour so my husband and I can enjoy a cup of coffee together but it hasn't been consistent. Some days she is ok playing half and hour or more some days not even 5 minutes. But we also haven't been consistent with doing it every weekend day. Any recommendations? We also have a 9 month-old and I am not sure how to go about his quiet time other than 2 daytime naps. Thanks

[@MariaandMontessori]

If you see your daughter could benefit from quiet time, absolutely, why not? My 1 year old naps once a day and is home with me, but I do see her getting overestimated in the same circumstances as yours-on weekends when dad is home and we are gogogo all day long. We haven't worked on adding a consistent quiet time at this age, but in the evenings after dinner, we always go outside to water the flowers and just play in the yard. It's not quiet time per se, but it definitely calms her down because she is away from all the stimulation of the home and just focusing on the grass, the bird, and the planes in the sky 😅

[@lisascott8801]

Two other natural quiet times for your 3-year-old might be during the baby's morning nap or late afternoon/before supper. The baby shouldn't need quiet time yet, unless it's just to have a snuggle or quiet walk with you.

[@crazymom468]

I put my toddler to sleep every noon and I take rest as well.

[@imaronsu]

How old of the child do you think it’s the best time to start introducing quiet time. Ours is 19 months old

[@jackie4114]

It's really good to transition from nap time to quiet time. So when your child stops napping, that's a good time to start introducing quiet time to fill the void.

[@martanowinska9534]

Awesome video ❤️. I especially appreciate part with your guide about making busy boxes,we need to remember, that child's creativity arise with less 🤯.

[@mandycollins4299]

I love the idea of quiet time, and I have tried it with my 4 year old daughter while her 2 year old brother is napping , but it never lasts. She always wants to be by me, and have mommy time is what she calls it. Any advice for what to do if the child throws a fit about having to have quiet time, and it is not enjoyable to them?

[@LissaxKristine]

It's perfectly normal for a child to not want to lose out on that one on one time- especially when they have a sibling and often have to share a parent. Perhaps, you need to start small. First off, split that naptime up. If your two-year-old sleeps for 90 minutes, maybe you can dedicate 45 minutes of that time to mommy-daughter time. Then, gradually, work on building up to a 45-minute quiet time. Even if, at first, that means giving her some options for activities, like books, puzzles, coloring, or even a little screen time, and telling her "While you play, I'm going to sit over here in my chair and read my book." Eventually, you may be able to slowly move out of the room for longer periods of time. And yes, there's a chance that she'll want to spend that time cuddling, but you can still set some boundaries. "Mommy is having her quiet time right now. Would you like to sit on the couch next to me?" And there's no reason it has to be an even split. Perhaps, you'll be better off if you do a 22-minute quiet time (where you're modeling your own quiet-time activity and your daughter has some independent, quiet play), followed by a 45 minute "mommy time" and another 22-minute segment of more quiet play.

[@mandycollins4299]

@@LissaxKristine thank you for the advice. I really appreciate it. I like your idea and will give it a try.

[@castroburger]

Ashley, do you ever have to *explain* to your girls that you’re a person who needs your own time/space sometimes? I’m trying to figure out a way to phrase this so that my daughter (almost 5) can understand it. My little guy (almost 2) probably wouldn’t get it at this point, but I’d love to be able to convey that the world does NOT, in fact, always revolve around them. Sincerely, A tired mom 🥴

[@autismenlightenment]

My daughrer is 2 She will not sleep at night or nap alone. I need her to sleep and give me my own time to rest and relax. I guess i need to try timers

[@autismenlightenment]

Wishful thinking

[@myrielka118]

I disagree with siblings having a quiet time together. I believe they should have their own special time for just themselves. They can play together some other time. 😅

[@Azia222]

We have nap time from 12-13 til 15-16, both of my kids 1 y and 5m and 3yand 9m ;)

[@ra-raasia9176]

❤❤❤🥰

[@pat_i_kot5648]

It scares me a little bit that Mia is at the beginnig of her 2 and she does not nap anymore. My daughter just turned 2 and I don't want her to stop napping since our new baby is coming soon.

[@lisascott8801]

All kids are different. My son just turned 3 and takes a 2+ hour nap every day. My 4.5-year-old just stopped napping earlier this year. Two of my kids stopped napping early (1.5 and 2.5). My oldest still sometimes fell asleep during quiet time up until she turned 5. Hopefully your daughter will keep napping for now to help with the transition.

[@pat_i_kot5648]

@@lisascott8801 Thank you very much!