10 THINGS I DON'T BUY AS A MONTESSORI PARENT

[@Millymul]

What do you use instead of a high chair? :)

[@HapaFamily]

A weaning table! :) I did use one with my girls for a bit until I felt they were more ready for the weaning table, but if I did it all over again, I’d instead most likely try lap feeding (a la the RIE approach) until weaning table time.

[@Millymul]

Thank you! That’s really helpful :D love your videos - I knew nothing about Montessori till I found them! keep up the great work :)

[@MP35467]

@@HapaFamily do you let them get up as they want during the meal? And come back if they want more? Or do you set boundaries during meal time that they need to remain seated?

[@peronne17]

She also uses the Tripp Trapp, which has straps and brings them up to the height of an adult table. The main difference is that it has steps the child can climb into independently, but otherwise it's the same as a high chair with no tray.

[@HapaFamily]

@@MP35467 The expectation is that they are seated for all meals (snacks included). If they get up at all (with the exception being to use the restroom), I take that to mean they’re done and their plate is cleaned up. And they fully respect this limit. My oldest will often remind my youngest of this rule when she tries to test the limit on occasion, lol.

[@sophiefraser3995]

1. 2:32 - Flashy Plastic Battery Operated Toys 2. 3:53 - Baby Crib 3. 5:33 - Colouring Books 4. 7:56 - Baby Holding Devices 5. 10:25 - Sippy Cups 6. 11:40 - Toys/Books That Promote Violence 7. 13:34 - Toy Box 8. 15:16 - Playpen 9. 17:28 - Restrictive Clothing & Shoes For Infants 10. 21:03 - ABC/123 Toys For Babies & Toddlers

[@khatijasyed7256]

Thank u

[@annazraf]

Thank you so Much!

[@ur5860]

The MVP! 💖💛💖💖🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

[@Slotcaramba]

Mvp

[@rachelgooden9981]

Thanks!!!!!

[@jacquelinepearce2306]

Learning to colour inside the lines was a very crucial part of learning fine motor control and hand eye coordination for me. I remember getting frustrated at how hard it was when I was young, it must have unlocked something important

[@PieterRaath]

I agree. As an art teacher you can follow the "blank" method if you know how to stimulate creativity in your kids and you are part of the experience. If i understand correctly she would not be part of their kids education because they have to learn it themselves. Kids learn by copying. The one side of your brain analize and your other side use that info for creativite expression. If you don't feed the analitical side and give it some reference/guidance your child can be stunted creatively.

[@priscillajimenez27]

Same. Plus it's good to tell a story with a pictures like a regular book

[@ashleyw7718]

Man… learning to color in a coloring book was HUUUGE for me as a kid, it formed the foundation of my creativity. I feel like non-artists make this decision for children without understanding the importance of inspiration. Also, since dinosaurs don’t exist in photographs, the only thing you can see of any accurate version is a rendering that an adult drew. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@liiin109]

Hahah! Same - i coloured normal objects with crazy colour combinations! It was a combo of colouring book and plain paper for my own creativity.. or even drew my own animals within the book… I didn’t like when adults tried to correct my colour choice - ooh this is supposed to be green. 😀 that did upset me

[@stiaininbeglan3844]

I had the opposite experience. I remember thinking (as a very little kid) that learning to "colour inside the lines" was a very adult thing, and I didn't want to be an adult. As I got older, I felt my natural child-like imagination being smothered because something an adult made was always telling me how to be. My nephew just turned 8 and he questions everything adults tell him to be "right". He wants to do science experiments his OWN way, and doesn't want to learn the science that adults already know to be true. He doesn't accept that spear fishing is something he can't do in North America because he doesn't think that it being illegal means anything. His imagination is outside the lines society has drawn, and I wish mine could have stayed like that.

[@katie8325]

@@stiaininbeglan3844 strange comment. Your child wanting to do things that are illegal doesn’t showcase an impressive imagination and isn’t something to brag about. I also highly doubt it has anything to do with colouring books.

[@soniquecat4745]

Yeah... is the kid supposed to pull their version of dinosaur out of their behind? There are various styles of coloring books and they provide kid an guideline and inspiration. Same with the art kids... it doesn't mean they will have to forever and ever create one particular thing... but unless super duper talented kid will not learn how to draw certain things unless you show them HOW. Then they can work with the idea

[@soniquecat4745]

@@stiaininbeglan3844 well, hope this "my own way" discovery of science does not go all the way to high school. Others have learned that pouring water in acid is dangerous, kid does not need to have his face burned off to learn that "his own way"

[@Pizzadepasta]

I'm glad that someone is able to stay with the baby 100% of a time and give care and attention all the time needed. As a babysitter of a triplet, some of those devices are agreeably not for the best of children's development but for caregiver's sanity at some point. Some things like bouncers are for keeping the caregiver sane while the baby is not traumatized when used minimally.

[@okaycola2]

Ya! Women totally deserve a bathroom break without having to hassle anyone else to watch the baby for a few minutes. Kids need to be able to entertain themselves

[@amberfick4329]

your response seems to start out rude. why did you start your response that way? did you mean to be rude?

[@Pizzadepasta]

@@amberfick4329 😘 think as you wish

[@QuiteQuietASMR]

@@amberfick4329it may or may not be sarcastic, I’m not sure. But she may genuinely be glad that someone is able to do that.

[@lab4change2023]

@@amberfick4329I read it as a genuine statement.

[@TheSwan1900]

I LOVED all sorts of coloring books when i was a kid and i dont think it affected my creativity in any bad way at all. i still did draw on my own as well. So i wouldnt want to take that from my child.

[@heidibedidee]

As a kid I loved colouring books as well, and the drawings in the book opened up my imagination rather than hindering it. I had a barbie colouring book, and it had barbie in different situations, outfits, with different people, etc. Definitely did not hinder me in any way. If it were up to me I'd just be drawing swirls on the paper lol.

[@SapphireRavenmoon]

I agree, colouring books are great!

[@kiwi6421]

I'm told that as a small child, I had coloring books and insisted that all of the animals be colored the way they were in real life, and I would tell off any adults who tried to use the "wrong" colors. I also remember laying sheets of plain paper over top of the lineart and tracing it to teach myself to draw dinosaurs. As an adult, I'm an excellent artist. I love drawing absurd fantasy creatures as much as I do realistic animal portraits. Coloring books never hindered me. If anything, what hindered me were the art teachers at public schools.

[@beckysmith6375]

I've used coloring books sparingly for when my kids were elementary school age. If our home school lesson was on insects, I would give them a coloring page of a dragon fly, grasshopper, and wasp, for example. They enjoyed coloring the picture while learning about the thing being colored. They would not have enjoyed trying to draw an insect...

[@DarlingKaya]

me to i learned how to draw alot of things from seeing them in coloring books and copying it :)

[@TheMntnG]

the „what I don‘t buy“ videos are so important in this crazy consumerism world

[@karabeaner2145]

The only one I have to really push back on is ABC/123 for toddlers. My son is 23 months and he has really started gaining interest in counting. I didn't put this on him, he just started repeating numbers at me one day. Now, we don't have counting toys like described. Our counting play is in the form of counting stairs, shoes etc, but some kids that age are definitely developmentally ready.

[@myrielka118]

One time I met a child who could do additions even with big numbers at the age of 2 years in a different language than his mother tongue! He really enjoyed it. It seemed to give him a sense of security.

[@priscillajimenez27]

Yeah I was told when I was two years old I already knew the alphabet and could count to 100 plus shapes and colors. Also could count to five and then 10 in Spanish. As I got older I came very good at spelling and math.

[@courtneygilmore9771]

I understand your reasoning behind these. I did have to start using a playpen because unfortunately it wasn't safe for me to leave my baby around my toddler even long enough to go to bathroom 🙃

[@Radhaun]

I don't think I agree with you entirely about coloring books. As someone who has a lot of autistic traits, there is a certain paralyzing difficulty to having a fully blank canvas (paper, whatever) in front of you. I think as long as the child can use whatever colors they want, coloring books can be a good way to relax and be creative without having to make literally every decision.

[@scottdwyer4345]

I think your absolutely wonderful and doing a great job. Keep up the good work. 👍

[@lollsazz]

Also, you can teach the child to think outside the box. They DON'T need to color a field with ONE color - they can make a pattern, they can make a gradient, they can draw something inside the shape. There shouldn't be rules for how children color - it's not homework, it's learning to try new things and being creative

[@canecorsomom2023]

Learning to color in line is also good for hand eye coordination and refining fine motor skills. I think there is space for both.

[@onjelbercier]

Adding to that. Children need to have an idea of what real world objects look like in order to draw them on their own. Your child needs to see that a face is comprised of one nose, one mouth, two eyes. Or that a car has a body and four wheels. Otherwise, they will not have the basics down.

[@guineapigcuteness6887]

Great point xx

[@allienicole1062]

I would LOVE a 10 must haves in a Montessori home video.

[@ashleighh472]

I have a montessori background and I've done a little research into children playing with guns. There have been studies that show it does not enfluence aggressive behaviour it can actually result in children developing problem solving skills and better self regulation as an adult. Just like playing with swords if you have boundaries and limits in place it is completely okay for children to play with guns at the end of the day it's a sport. You can shoot a target. It's all about the language used and modelling appropriate behaviour.

[@KatieGrady1997]

Love this

[@cinnamonroll372]

So there have been studies that show it doesn’t affect aggressiveness, but haven’t there also been studies that have shown that? Not trying to be mean, just questioning the logic :)

[@galactichermione6727]

No, studies attempting to prove a link between weapon play in children and increased violence have only ever shown an association, but were unable to prove a causal relationship. Subsequent studies have shown that imaginary play with weapons is both good for emotional development, and also unpreventable. In the absence of model weapons children will use other objects to approximate weapons.

[@asiafoster2676]

It’s so interesting hearing mom’s different perspectives! There are some here that I’m totally into and some that I may not be. But it’s cool to hear different opinions and reasoning to see what I end up loving for my own little 🥰

[@koalawellington3011]

How refreshing to see content sharing things we DON'T need as opposed to the so many videos telling us what we DO need! 😍

[@ntmn8444]

You honestly don’t need much to be a good parent. You really don’t.

[@thecommentmonster]

I agree! While I may not do things the same way, I think it’s good for the mindset to hear people questioning what’s “needed”

[@bwj54]

Just wanted to comment on what you said about babies and toddlers not being developmentally ready to learn letters. My 21 month old has shown a great interest on her own since she was around 16 months old, just through books and puzzles and us pointing them out to her (we don't do light up electronics toys either), and can name many letters. So I do think babies and toddlers are little sponges and can absolutely learn them and are interested too if we show interest in a natural (non-forced) way.

[@stephaniem8278]

I think that's wonderful; and if your child developed the interest all on their own that it is certainly appropriate to foster a love for learning letters and symbols. It may even make for a cute story some day when she's using these skills in her career.

[@divinityomine6935]

I believe in allowing and having available tools your child can use to learn skills of any level (as safety allows anyway, dont have a hand-saw laying around, ya know-)

[@katie7748]

Same for two of my kids. By 2 years old they knew the alphabet, numbers, colors, and basic words.

[@potluck712]

I have way too many toys for my child & before I have what I currently do, I got rid of TONS of toys to make room. Sadly my child has sat in front of the tv so much while I clean and cook. He just turned two, yet he knows his ABCs (the whole song), he can sing a few songs, he could count to 10 before his first birthday, he identifies shapes, identifies colors, etc… all because of the way too stimulating children songs on KZbin. We have also worked with him, but majority is from all the repetitive songs. I plan on doing more one on one and stopping all the stimulation. Point being, children really are sponges & it doesn’t matter if you use plastic versus wooden toys or coloring books.

[@leahgenet6186]

22:39 It can happen actually. My son loves to sing the whole alphabet and he just turned two.

[@charliepeterson1745]

I want to give my own perspective around colouring books as an armature artist and teacher. Creativity is a bit miss understood. Our brains are incapable of creating anything truely original. Creative minds are simply capable of reorganising material that they have seen before in more ways than non creative minds. For example, a non creative person will simply draw a dinosaur that they have already seen. A creative mind might combine different elements of different dinosaurs to create something "original". Children arguably have less creative potential then adults because they haven’t experienced life and so they need more help. And this is where copying comes in. The more a child copies, the more their creativity will start to show.

[@skiluva]

Interesting perspective. I see where you're coming from a bit because my daughter has increased her imaginative play a ton after being allowed to now watch 30 min of TV a day. Always acting out related situations that she's seen on her shows like Daniel Tiger.

[@MariaandMontessori]

This is true! The way this is presented in a Montessori class is by exposing kids to different forms of art- professional and made by their teachers- to give them that basis of creativity. So rather than a coloring book that prescribes a scene to color, the space has books, cards, and images of art pieces, materials around those art pieces like 3 part cards, and sometimes even a couple sample projects that the teachers put together for inspiration. But then the child can take the mediums available to them, reference all that knowledge, and create/recreate on their own. And even if they set out to fully copy an art piece, it will still have its own flair over a pre-made coloring book.

[@vanessat9309]

I agree.

[@StrawberryShortcake12335]

In high school, my art teacher made a point of showing us some of Picasso’s early, more realistic, paintings. He was very skilled artist and eventually evolved his own style. The more skills a child has, the more ability they will have to create “original” art.

[@priscillajimenez27]

Makes sense

[@peronne17]

I think the biggest difference for our home is that we did not use a floor bed before age 1. Dr. Montessori unfortunately died before SIDS was identified and research on it could be done, so she didn't have the knowledge we have now on sleep safety. Waiting until age 1 to ditch the crib, per AAP guidelines, was totally worth the wait for us!

[@YOS3liN1]

Don’t completely agree with this because in your child’s crib , you shouldn’t put anything in it ie. pillows, stuffed animals, blankets and crib bumpers . It’s the same thing with a floor bed . Putting the mattress on the floor is not going to cause SIDS more than the mattress on your crib . You would still buy a mattress that can be breathable and not be super soft like memory foam .

[@peronne17]

@@YOS3liN1 AAP guidelines recommend a crib/bassinet/etc for infants, so that's what we went with. But agreed, definitely shouldn't put anything in the crib with them!

[@peronne17]

@Greg Davidson Cribs/cots are actually very popular in Japan. But again, we chose to follow AAP guidelines and they recommend a crib/bassinet/etc for infants.

[@natalietheodoropoulou4113]

What’s the difference between a firm mattress with no toys or blankets vs a crib? I’m not sure I understand what’s unsafe about a floor bed.

[@peronne17]

@@natalietheodoropoulou4113 The primary difference is that to follow AAP guidelines, the firm mattress needs to be fitted inside a crib without gaps around it to prevent the infant from fully or partially being able to roll off. The possibilty of suffocating or re-breathing their air is much higher when they can roll into odd positions, such as dangling over the edge.

[@ThisBraveHeart]

I’ve noticed a huge difference in mobility between my first and second child. With our first we put him in swings and play pens and with my second child I have only put him on the floor. My second child is 7 months old and already crawling and sitting up, my first started sitting up around 9 months and crawling around 10. With my second child I also began using sensory balls and other little simple sensory toys very early on with him and he has had amazing hand and eye coordination since about 3 months old. Not sure if this is due to Montessori or not, it does seem like it though.

[@Sophie-qg5vy]

I have noticed the same, my son is 2 and daughter is 8 months. She has been crawling and is already trying to walk, he didn't crawl and started walking after his first birthday. Thanks to Ashley's videos I was able to incorporate a Montessori play set up area when he turned 10 months.

[@m0bz0mb39]

@@Sophie-qg5vy Yeah It's crazy how many people use products that are known to delay development or sometimes even kill or cause permanent damage to infants because so many people use them that they don't even second guess buying a walker or swing

[@m0bz0mb39]

@@Sophie-qg5vy By kill I mean certain floaties and stuff, many people put their babies in the floaty devices that they sit in but the problem with those is they can flip over and drown your baby

[@Teacupgirly]

I didn’t do baby swings with either babies and they were still both so different when it came to physical development (first crawled at 6 and walked at 9, second just started crawling at almost 10)

[@jessicas.3886]

My Kids werden different at this point. We had no Swing or other devices for our first child. But she wasn't happy laying on a blanket on the floor, she was crying unstoppable every time we put her on the blanket for playtime. She even didn't accepted a stroller. I then used a Babywrap and some Babycarriers for her and these were heavy used until the age of 3,5 years (and it wasn't her choice to give up the carrier). We had a featherswing for our second child (we used this for his naps until he was 9 month old), this child loved to be on the floor and refused the carrier since he was able to walk alone. Both Children were crawling since they became 5 month old. But my second child is much more agile and his motor skills are better developed in comparison to his sister.

[@annal.807]

Montessori or not, all of the products mentioned make sense! Not limiting our children to the capacity of the toys, structures, etc is so important for their growth! Thanks for the information as always. 😊

[@yuma1954]

Great advises for mamas that do NOT work and own big houses. If you are working mama and need to feed your kids, do what you need to do and buy all devices in the world that will help you survive.

[@victoriaressler3547]

I wholeheartedly agree about being so careful about violence in the name of “playing” such a good point! It is crazy how our culture is saturated with violence as entertainment but then people wonder why there is so much violence in the world….

[@m0bz0mb39]

Yeah my mom's a pacifist and she never even let us play with squirt guns and stuff but my brothers are pretty violent now as teenagers, I think being sheltered from it made them more drawn to it

[@lauren8627]

Make sure you don't look at children's play through an adult lens. I make sure I not only take on advice from "girl mums" but also ND and "boy mums" too. Because we have a non violent house hold and yet my 3 year old is obsessed with whacking things - watch out family dog - with sticks and also pretending things are guns. Like how do they know what a gun is? It's inbuilt I swear. It really shocked me to start with, but if you don't project your fears and insecurities you can just take it at face value. It helps I live in Aus where actual guns are rarely in the open and people lock them up in gun safes.

[@annarocha3254]

Why has there been violence in the world for thousands of years-since the conception of humanity- before such forms of entertainment existed?

[@NeonAtary777]

after I had my baby ,18 months now, I became extra-sensitive to news and films that show violence. not only paying more attention to it but literally becoming unsettled and extremely emotional when seeing it!

[@lauramarinofinan9250]

I totally agree with her approach too! I am a mum now, but even before that as an auntie I've never bought any war toys at all. It's question of principles you want to trasmit to kids. The same thing with video games. Children have much better toys to play with than guns and addictive screen devices. No matter what the society push for, we are our kids educators.

[@nicolemusselman4246]

During the pandemic (even now) I had to work from home some days and had zero help while teaching college online. Sometimes I had to put my son in the walker or playpen for a bit so I could get through a meeting or give a lecture. You got to do what you got to do sometimes. I think it's important to recognize even though it's not "ideal" desperate times call for desperate measures sometimes. The amount of shame I have gotten for this is just so unreal. Not that I am saying you are shaming, but in general sometimes these things give parents with no options in the pandemic a little help when help cannot be there in person for health safety.

[@HapaFamily]

Definitely not casting any judgment or shame on anyone for making such hard decisions. Like I said in the video, I think that everybody has to adapt Montessori to their particular lifestyle and needs, and there isn’t one “right” way to do it. 😉

[@nicolemusselman4246]

@@HapaFamily I definitely think you expressed it the right way. Some other Montessori groups...not so much LOL. It is ROUGH out there. I feel like your space is a safe space that is much needed.

[@MariaandMontessori]

@@nicolemusselman4246 I've found the same to be true-isn't it odd that a community of parents focused on raising their kids in a way that is unique to the child's development and personality, centered around grace, courtesy and peace...can be so judgemental to each other?? 😶 I had an activity center and pack and play for the same reason-first I was set to return to work remotely, and then I was trying to job search full time. My girl only took to each for 5-10 min max anyway, so it wasn't much help, but in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't un-Montessori the rest of our environment 🤷‍♀️ After all, the family's basic needs (including an income!) also need to be met!

[@LissaxKristine]

Not an expert by any means, but I think a playpen is one of the best baby holding devices there is- especially if you can get one that's basically just a fence where the baby is still on the floor. It solves the problem of wanting to keep the baby contained in a safe space while still allowing for freedom of movement. (Of course, I can also appreciate the fact that if you're in a meeting and the swing is the only thing keeping baby from screaming, then putting baby in a swing for 15 minutes isn't the worst thing in the world. I think the real issue is that people tend to overuse and abuse baby holding devices).

[@hannahscott6604]

It isn’t shame. It’s usually just surprise that you couldn’t have used the playpen instead of a walker because the playpen is going to allow for more freedom of movement and that’s a fact

[@AmiableGrace]

We got rid of the flashing lights toys (or took the batteries out) not long after I started watching your videos around the time our daughter was 9 months old. I can tell now that’s she’s 2.5 that anytime she’s exposed to it she’s either overwhelmed or annoyed. One thing that’s somewhat similar that I would never buy again is the Sit-to-Stand walker. I like what you all did with getting one that actually can double as a push wagon or just a sturdy baby doll stroller. Not against the walker itself, just the ones that are unitaskers.

[@Thelilmissbz]

Love from HTX. Thanks for being so educational! I love your videos. My husband and I have a 13 month old and she’s our first one. It’s so interesting seeing her take the reins and doing things independently just as a toddler! It’s crazy, we don’t give them enough credit!

[@olgatarasevich3113]

Congrats! I also have a 13 months old, watching him grow is the greatest joy of my life!

[@emilydecker5945]

So much to say… 1. I feel so much anxiety over the floor bed. I discovered the Montessori method when my son was about 15 months old and switched him to a floor bed at 18 months. He instantly started sleeping better and I was convinced. By the time my daughter was born, I switched everything over, but I feel like I’m constantly being inundated with the AAP guidelines and safe sleep advocates and my anxiety is just through the roof about it. We’ve had struggles with sleep since day one with both of my children and feel like I constantly have to choose a compromise. 2. Re: baby-holding devices. I hear you for the most part. I was a minimalist before I went Montessori so I didn’t have any of those things anyway, and then my daughter was born and she was so discontent all the time. She screamed almost constantly for the first five months of her life. I was fighting so hard to do the Montessori thing and allow freedom of movement, but she just wasn’t having it. I finally came to the conclusion that a bouncer chair isn’t that much different than a Montessori cestina. Her being on an incline and able to track me with her eyes gave me a few moments of peace to get myself a meal or deal with my older child. I really beat myself up for a while because I felt like I was doing Montessori “wrong,” so I’m saying this to encourage others that sometimes it’s okay, in survival mode, to just do what you need to do. 3. You didn’t mention it, but playpens can be really helpful for those that camp! That is the only time we ever used ours. And we have the Guava Lotus, which unzips on the side so they can crawl in and out during the day. Yes yes yes to everything else though.

[@Hitogata]

Why are you struggling with the floor bed? 😮 I mean, I ask because my son was always a terrible sleeper and things got better when I moved him to the floor bed. He started napping there from 4 months old and sleeping there from 6 months old. Always with the monitor (sound and image always on), so I never felt that I was compromising on safety. The bed is empty and there's a soft play rug on the side of the bed in case he rolls off. And I have a super light sleep since he was born 😅 Oh I really miss sleeping for a whole night straight 😴

[@hufflepunkslitherclaw7436]

A key point in the Montessori method is meeting the child where they are and giving them the tools and skills to become independent. If your child needs to be close to you right now then that's what she needs. If you hold her when she wants to be held then you can help her feel secure. When we feel secure we feel safe and brave, and able to farther from mom.

[@starlessstephtx]

I love the guava travel crib.

[@emilydecker5945]

@@Hitogata I seriously do NOT want to add any anxiety to another mom's life, so I'm hesitant to even say why I struggle with it. Again, the difference in my son (now 3.5 years old) was night and day (no pun intended). He went from waking every hour and fighting his nap to waking once at night and willingly napping. However, there are safe sleep advocates and paediatricians out there that cite that suffocation due to rebreathing on an adult mattress is one of the most common causes of death in infants under one year of age. I certainly have questions about the studies performed, but because I have yet to see clear peer-reviewed research from either side of the argument, I've just concluded that I'm going to feel anxious about sleep.

[@emilydecker5945]

@@hufflepunkslitherclaw7436 Oh, I agree. I held my daughter every minute that I possible could, but there were also moments when I just had to put her down, and in those moments, I found a bouncer seat was the key for our survival. She crawled at 5 months and walked at 9, so the time she spent in a chair was definitely not detriment to her gross motor development. I just don't want moms to feel guilty in the name of Montessori for light use of a device.

[@SnowWhiteQueen555]

Number 4 does definitely not work for us, I don't feel it's safe to use leave baby on the floor when I'm cooking in the kitchen so a bouncer and high chair on our island for when they can sit up has been so useful for us I really worry about dropping things on them on the floor

[@UnbeLISAble]

The idea that coloring books are “limiting” a child’s creativity might sound logical because most of us may remember someone telling us to color inside the lines but let me tell you this is a complete misconception. Coloring books absolutely boost creativity, it gives the child a basis to explore and imagine and play with. That’s like saying even Montessori approved toys limit a child’s creativity because the child didn’t come up with the toy themselves and an adult created it first. That just doesn’t really make sense. Adults guide children in their learning of the world in one way or another and children need their guidance. I don’t think Montessori aims to completely eliminate guidance from a mentor (parent). I LOVED coloring books as a child, I used them all the time and today I am a professional artist. My work looks nothing like the books I colored in as a child either, it’s full of creative freedom. Please, give your children coloring books and let them enjoy scribbling within the lines, outside the lines and everything in between. Also, speaking as an artist, coloring inside the lines is a good way to develop your coordination and ability to maneuver the tool in your hand. There’s nothing wrong with that either! Anything that gets kids playing and coloring is a good thing in my opinion.

[@Derlet30]

Love your comment! Thank you soo much for sharing this valuable input! ❤️

[@v.dargain1678]

Same . I think artistic development in children is one of Montessori's weak areas . Neo Piagetians ,T Berry Brazelton and Lev Vygotsky address the psychology of children's art better .

[@kristinyaekelnegley3978]

I think it’s also okay to have kids also use something where they do have to follow directions to make something come out a certain way- it teaches them TO follow directions. They will need that skill when they are older too. For example, putting furniture together- like a bed. But I do agree that kids need many ways to show their own creativity and imagination.

[@neuronstellingstories5694]

Loved this and agreed with most but a holding device… my baby had to come with me when I was needing to use the bathroom or shower and she was only safe in a bouncer or small activity circle (one with no electronic parts).

[@thesweetspot26]

My daughter has a developmental delay and at her age she is "expected" to learn letters and numbers. I get anxious that she may be falling behind and that I am not doing enough. I loved your comment about not pushing Mia until she is interested. This gave a sense of relief that it is OK for her not to be ready.

[@lauren8627]

What age if you don't mind me asking. It's so different in different countries. I didn't ride a bike until I was 7 or 8 (probably hypotonia, poor balance etc.) We should obviously support kids, but I think expectstions are so over the top these days for 3, 4, 5 and 6 year olds.

[@thesweetspot26]

She is 4 and has Down Syndrome

[@thesweetspot26]

I agree. I think a four year old must be mostlt playing still. By expectations I mean her curriculum for pre-k includes numbers 1-20 and letter recognition and tracing A-Z.

[@Hitogata]

I only started learning at the age of 6. That's how it was done in my country (Portugal) when I was a kid and everyone turned out fine 😄 These days they start a bit sooner, but it's not a "must learn this" kind of thing. It's not a big deal if they're not interested yet.

[@akulovaelena83]

My daughter is 4.5 months now and I’m totally devoted to raise her based on Montessori philosophy. Your channel has been the best discovery! She spends most of her play time on the floor. We do have a bouncer and a swing just because I discovered Montessori approach after all these things were gifted to us. We barely use them though.

[@Gawish85]

Appreciate the insights and mostly agree with entire lists. However, I found that blanket statement about counting and ABCs very generalizing. We don’t do passive toys either and certainly not ones that light up and talk and all that. At around 18 months we got this Animal 123 book. At first my son was super engaged because he loves animals, and immediately learned all the animals in the book. He quickly became interested in the counting part and learned to count 1-10 in both English and Arabic. Now at 20 months, He is obsessed with counting everything. Granted, he still doesn’t connect the numbers with quantity, but he starting to do some of that especially up to 3 or 4. We even have a Lovevery counting toy which I believe comes in the 19-21 months box. So to say children aren’t interested in counting or ABCs until the age of 3 is not accurate and can be a limiting depiction. I’m all for letting children learn at their own pace, but I think we should not limit them either

[@bwj54]

I agree. We dont do electronic toys and my 21 month old has shown great interest in letters for several months and has learned a lot of them just through books and puzzles and us pointing them out to her. Same with numbers.

[@achristine2195]

Some of these I agree with, but not the ABCS and Letter one. I work as a toddler teacher in a daycare and I mainly work with kiddos 28 to 36 months and they love reciting the alphabet and their numbers when we do circle time. I don't understand waiting until a kid is 3 to introduce that to them, by 3 most( every kid is different) should at least be able to count to 10.

[@magicbus11fly]

I use coloring books to help with teaching healthy emotional regulation and as a stress relief. It applies to adults and children alike.

[@naomimarie183]

Reminding parents who have or have used any of these items YOU ARE GOOD PARENTS - YOUR KID/KIDS are going to be okay - I’m a Montessori educator myself and I have a crib. I used a bouncer seat for convenience at times. I also used freshly picked moccasins all the time. My daughter is 2 - she can count to 20, sing her ABC’s, can speak 5-8 word sentences. ALL children WILL DEVELOP DIFFERENTLY. I think the video was super insightful and great for others but definitely felt like saying using some of these things is wrong. Just my opinion. A lot of other educators I work with do use your videos and we do recommend for parents. I think as a educator and a mother your videos are great. Just I need to say - if you do use these items or have in the past - it doesn’t make your child any less then another. By ages 3-5 most kids do regardless of exposures will know how to count, sing ABC’s, color, talk, etc

[@naomimarie183]

My daughter used a soppy cup - and drank from a regular cup no problem. She ate with a high chair and showed us cues when she done. All kids are different and all parenting at tales are different. Kids will development regardless.

[@yewandekoyenikan4732]

Thanks alot for this🙏

[@jesystar]

Thank you, not that she is wrong but I know for a fact that you can help a child learn quite early their abc's, 123, shapes and colors and they actually do like it especially if you do it in a fun interactive way.

[@Latviaitalia]

Some parents are just too into their head & control lol

[@Adam-ew3yf]

Unless you can guarantee your children will never encounter violence, teaching them when and how to apply an appropriate level of violence (in self defense) is important. I would rather be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war, and I will teach and equip my children with the skills and tools needed to keep themselves safe.

[@lh485]

Man ok. My girls go to a Montessori school and I am a very natural-minded and attachment-based parent, and I have to say: if a 7 month old drinks from a cup and another baby uses a sippy cup, what does that ultimately mean for them in life? Nothing! It doesn't make someone smarter or develop more profoundly. There are absolutely some scientific-based principles within Montessori practice that does contribute more to development in long run, but the cup thing- nope. The colouring book thing- nope. Just need to relax a little when you can.

[@wrightclick]

I don't know, pretty sure the premise of this entire video is that your kid won't get into Harvard because she's using a sippy cup and spends a couple of minutes in an exersaucer 😅 😭😭😭

[@YaGirllllJaz]

It doesn’t mean anything. She’s just saying she doesn’t find it necessary, and that’s okay!

[@aprilboelter2090]

When I was very little, we were taught about guns and gun safety. Eventually to where we actually fired a 22 with assistance from my uncle. I understand that you are promoting peace. I'm not saying we should promote violence. I am saying that it helped me to understand that guns are not toys but tools to be used for survival. Especially against a government who wants to control their people. I will teach my children to NEVER give them up. Those that do end up like China, North Korea, Cuba, and now Austrailia and Canada. I'm a veteran and nurse and I care deeply about our children's freedom and future. Love you and love your videos. Just wanted to share another perspective.

[@panyrosas]

Respectfully, the “people’s check on the government” does not matter when your government is the United States. The people’s meager guns cannot compete with literal nukes and other monopolies of violence. We are just fed that fodder to keep buying guns and fueling the war machine. Maybe if America had jungle terrain like Cuba or Vietnam, the people could beat back the US government just like they did.

[@CalmintheChaosHomeschool]

I need to add, if you have children with special needs, you MAY need to have some of these things for their safety. We had a almost 4 year old join our family (foster) and he was autistic and was constantly “eloping” (amazing ability to be 2 doors down in someone’s backyard near their pool because i get a phone call and was not specifically looking at him for a few seconds. He needed a crib because it was not safe for him to be freely able to move about the house while we were sleeping, etc.

[@savannahtollison4425]

After reading some comments, I just wanted to say that so many guidelines and opinions are pushed on mothers as if they are law and if you don’t follow them you are endangering your child. Sometimes the worst culprits are other mothers. I have a 10 month old and another on the way. At some point with my son I was empowered to make choices based on common sense and instinct. Don’t let statistics or fear direct your parenting. It’s never bad to get advice, but you don’t have to take it no matter who is giving it. I will be moving my son to a floor bed soon. I’m new to the Montessori approach. I may not follow it completely, but I know that many people might be afraid to because society has scared them into not wanting to give their child independence. My son never used a sleep sack. I asked myself “are you choosing this out of fear?” The answer was yes. So I made myself face the anxiety and gave him a blanket from day one. As a newborn, he couldn’t move much so he couldn’t even get it over his face. At 4 months he rolled over and slept on his stomach so I placed it behind him by his waist. Once he sat up at 6 months and stood at 7 he was strong enough to move the blanket himself. He mostly chose to sleep on top of it. As for the floor bed. If you child proof, take away any hazardous items, and use a monitor. Then you can keep your child just as safe as a crib. Plus a bed on the floor reduces risk of falls. In Sweden kids sleep with pillows and a blanket at only a few months old. I just want to say that doing something should be because you’ve weighed the options and feel it’s the most comfortable and most helpful to your child development not because someone made you feel scared or like a bad parent if you don’t do it.

[@ABirdOnTheMoon]

I am confused. If colouring books provide what adults think of certain objects or animals.. then what about books? Because pretty sure these books we read our kids or let them explore has a single drawing of items and what we teach them they look like? Does that mean you eliminate all the picture books too?

[@v.dargain1678]

Good points to ponder . Thanks

[@rrr441]

Using a sippy cup doesn't prevent them from learning how to use a glass. We did both simultaneously and it was ok. Sometimes you have to be flexible. I found Montessori often isn't.

[@v.dargain1678]

Well said .

[@loracorwyn3713]

Never used a play pen the way your describing, it’s always been a safe place (for baby 3 and 4, while cooking or cleaning to keep them from the other children ) or a second bed when they are very little and I don’t want them sleeping in my room so far from me.

[@choosnau]

You've gotten really good at saying nicely "don't take this too personally people" lmao 😅❤️

[@HapaFamily]

🥴🤣

[@kait1291]

It's so cool watching my daughter (3) slowly grasp the concept of letters making sounds/words. She's definitely got her favorite letters that just "clicked" one day and then there are other letters that she is completely uninterested in at the moment.

[@sparklespeaks8643]

This made me want to throw out everything I just bought for my daughter. 😭 I’ve been so nervous about her developmental progress. 😩 I figured these things would help, but you are definitely right! I’m currently transitioning into the Montessori lifestyle with my 8 soon to be 9 month old. I’m planning on getting her into Montessori schools as well

[@272attwell]

I am a stay at home Dad of three children…I am not totally obsessed with Montessori…my wife is more into this…I’m not against it but I just don’t spend time thinking if what I am doing with my children is Montessori or not. However I totally agree with the gun/violence part of this video. My oldest child is a boy of 5 and he has never even seen a gun yet. I simply can not understand how parents can encourage or even just sit back and watch their children shooting each other. Teaching children that violence is a form of entertainment is to me very upsetting.

[@tiyya91]

Agreed!!!

[@annarocha3254]

Because squirt guns are fun as heck.

[@272attwell]

@@annarocha3254 With a bit of imagination and some thought there are many ways to have just as much fun with water without a (replica) gun being involved.

[@annarocha3254]

@@272attwell Of course. Children also have the ability to use a "replica gun" for fun without without ever remotely thinking of committing actual violence against another person. My mom was someone who never allowed us to have gun-like toys. That was her choice and my childhood certainly wasn't ruined. Now I enjoy buying squirt guns for my nephews and my own sons and their childhoods also won't be ruined.

[@272attwell]

@@annarocha3254 It’s difficult within a KZbin comment to actually articulate my line of thinking with regards to the subject of violence and guns and child’s play. My initial comments have nothing to do with providing or not providing my children with a happy childhood. (I played with guns as a child…I had a happy childhood). I am more concerned with desensitising a child to violence and the horrors of violence. I have no intent on trying to stop my children from discovering the existence of guns or violence for that matter. In the right time they will discover such facts and I hope to be able to talk to them about such things. One day my children will learn about guns and understand that some people use them as tools to hunt animals and some people use them as weapons to kill or harm other people. When they learn this I want them to be shocked that a person could use a tool to inflict such harm onto another person. I want them to be so grounded in an alternative normal that makes this revelation shocking. I look back to my childhood and there were so many things which were tolerated, encouraged or taught that were in fact harmless in themselves but gradually reinforced mindsets that as an adult I believe were harmful. Children may play with replica guns shooting at each other in an innocent way without any sense of being violent to each other. They may be able to play with toy guns by shooting each other and remain unaware of the consequences of actually shooting another person with real guns. However i think this sort of play is teaching them how to misuse a tool and more importantly the beginning of them being desensitised to the effects of such a miss use. I would like to ask you two questions. What positive fruit do you think comes about in a child’s life as a result of playing with toy guns. Second could this fruit be equally or better cultivated through other types of toys and activities?

[@Talegoncita]

I know this video is old, but I strongly disagree on the crib. The WHO says that slepping with your newborn until is 6 months old is a must to reduce the risk of SIDS and it's recommended to extend it up to 1 year. A full bed is impossible to accommodate in my (and presumably all of us) master's bedroom 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@Hugbryggen]

💯 agree except the numbers and letters. My daughter is 22 months old and she looooves them!

[@sarahroberts7374]

I was so against baby holding devices (apart from my carriers)... until my baby started crawling at 6 months and by 9 months had the fastest commando crawl going! So a walker i got given is a safe way to keep him contained for a few minutes (im on my own in a tiny flat that isnt the safest for a baby). I have a safe area where he has free range of movement but he can escape it so if im doing dishes and he's in an escaping mood then into the walker he must go for a minute! He does seem to really enjoy it too

[@dzdrew]

When I was little my dad sectioned off a whole corner of the living room with baby gates. I had a mattress on the floor, a cardboard box, stuffed animals, notebooks, books, etc and I would just spend most of my time in there doing my own thing.

[@evag-s5177]

I've seen kids use all sorts of things as guns or other weapons -- sticks, their fingers, etc. From what I've heard/read, discouraging this type of play hinders kids' ability to process the fact that violence does happen in the real world, especially for kids growing up around gun violence. If your kids engage in this type of play, do you intervene or do you let them continue? I'm curious because the preschool I work in (not Montessori) suggests letting them engage in imaginative gun play, but not giving them any sort of realistic looking weapon because they have trouble distinguishing reality.

[@pudupudu9837]

My baby has really severe reflux and needs to sit up for an hour at least after feeding, and it’s really not always an option for myself or my husband to keep holding her that often and for that long (she takes a long time about feeding too) so we have a seat for her. If we put her on her play mat too early- either on her front or back- too early, she chokes and screams

[@zk.13]

I found coloring books great in one way, help them make a story if whose with them can't draw, once weekly we get the coloring book to pick picture to color and cut and create a story from it My daughter had just made an amazing booklet made from these pictures about a butterfly story to learn preposition and she enjoyed it It also taught her to draw in one place But i don't let her do this activity alot for your reason to be creative

[@taylorhayes4371]

I’m glad you acknowledge that everyone’s family and homes are different. I love the idea of a floor bed and I’m about to switch my 15 month old over to that now. Thinking of our next baby, I’d LOVE to do it from infancy …. However I quickly remembered we have a 130 lb mastiff dog. We have baby gates and don’t allow him free access into the nursery or living spaces where the small baby is because he could easily step on a baby by mistake. All that to say, I realized that is why the crib is a MUST for us until over 1 year old or confidently walking. I can’t have a slip up of the baby gate or bedroom door not latching and my curious gentle giant walking in and crushing the baby on the floor bed. Just wanted to share to affirm your empathy for other situations! I haven’t seen many Montessori vlogs that include a MASSIVE sized dog lol.

[@Zephyrina4]

I appreciate the intention of this video and agree with a lot of what you have to say. I am also a Montessori parent, as well as an educator. We did most of these things with our child. However, because of low tonal issues with his mouth muscles, he needed a sippy cup for a while, and prior to that, a cup with a straw. Additionally, he craved learning...not just sensorially, but he wanted to understand words. I did not teach him how to read...he figured it out on his own and was reading at two years old. So now I am slowly teaching him phonics so he doesn't skip over these important aspects of language development. He was also doing 3/4th grade level math at two...including multiplication and division and square roots...again, all on his own. I have only begun teaching him anything (other than practical life activities) at 6 as homeschool because the state requires him to be in school at 6. Otherwise I would have postponed teaching him Kindergarten until he was 7. So, while the theory you're discussing in this video is great and ideal, I think a lot of what you're saying has to be taken within the context of the specific child, and the fact that you're a girl mom with what sounds like neurotypical children...which is a very different experience from a boy mom or a mom of a neurodiverse child.

[@maebla]

I'm sorry, but I call BS. What is it with mothers that feel like they must one up on everyone because of their "genius" child. If he is reading, that is rote memory. Phonics are not taught in Montessori Schools. And even if they were, he would not be able to read without understanding the sounds the letters make. Get over yourself.

[@TheZMom_Emmelia]

I like your name! ❤

[@amberfey1336]

1 - The majority of my toys are montessori materials, but for example the wooden coin drawer my kid wasn't a crazy fan of. Granny gave her a talking pig that you put the coin into and she LOVED it. So I'm happy to be flexible.

[@mrbqkc]

Thank you!! I love this list, and now I feel so much better on my practical outfit choices for my daughter. She also cries more in booties because she needs her feet out 😂 She just turned 5 months and loves to crawl around, so being restricted with her movement is the worst!

[@emilybach]

Little baby shoes are so cute but highly impractical. For my kids I have found that waiting until they are walking (2 of mine walked at 9 months) or until it's winter (usually when they are around a year or so) to put them in shoes has been the best for us. It saves money, they don't have to put up with restrictive clothes, and they have an easier time learning to walk.

[@hollyyoung9892]

I love this! Not only does it align with our thinking, it highlights some areas for change (in our home) that I hadn’t thought of. This is a really great way to ‘explain’ to friends and family why we don’t want them buying certain toys and gifts. Thank you so much!

[@arabicinamerica2454]

I would love to hear how things your children's behavior and development level has been effected by Montessori and positive discipline. Can you do a video on that?

[@stephaniesanchez2057]

Me too!

[@elainebricken9980]

She doesn't have a non Montessori child to compare her Montessori children to so it we'll never know if Montessori is responsible for her children's temperament or if it's something else (genetics, etc.)

[@arabicinamerica2454]

@@elainebricken9980 well even if we dont know exactly why her children do this or that, just hearing the outcome and what not to this point would be interesting.

[@annebojko9863]

I really enjoyed listening to this and plan to implement some of these suggestions in my own home 😊 In regards to the playpen, we personally used one for our baby because we have two cats and we wanted to keep baby safe from them. Otherwise we definitely would've put him on the floor! Now that he's a bit older, the cats are afraid of him so there's no issue anymore 😂

[@l.s.d.5863]

Well... no issue for him. Maybe an issue for the cats.

[@brittlonsdale]

I'm so happy Shayla recommend your channel, I'm excited to learn more about Montessori!

[@HelgatheHorriblez]

It’s funny- when my daughter was young and she wanted to color I’d put her in her up seat with the tray and she’d sit next to me while I worked or was in a meeting. She had a jumper which was great when she was in that stage where all she wanted to do was jump- I have a medical condition that prevents me from being able to hold her up while she did that for really any amount of time- to encourage her leg muscle development we went with that. It was short lived- we didn’t use it longer than a few months during that stage but she was never left alone in it and I usually was sitting right there with her encouraging her to jump and singing songs. We’ve never used any of these things as “containment” devices- I’ve seen friends do that and it always bothered me. I used things when necessary for as long as necessary and then moved forward. Our cosleeper looks like that playpen. We used that in bassinet mode for as long as it was practical and we it in the playpen mode only if we are traveling since it’s familiar to her and eases the transition to different sometimes scary places. We were gifted the cutest pair of pink converse crib shoes. They were soft and during the chilly times it was nice to have an extra layer of warm (since she would ALWAYS kick her blanket off) usually she only wore them when we left the house-I can’t imagine trying to get her to wear them all the time. All the rest we never used either. For learning the alphabet and numbers we used sand letters and letter sounds.

[@estefaniaserrano4736]

I’ve just found your video at a random scrolling of KZbin and get to see it out of curiosity.. and I’ve noticed I don’t own 90% of the things on your list, and I’m not using purposely the Montessori approach. It is just coincidence. So I am thinking on implementing it now that I know I have a start without even noticing.

[@lovely4833]

This is really cool. I didn’t really know these things were Montessori per say but we didn’t use majority of these items. Even when gifted them I found myself getting rid of a few months in. We never used a crib since my first was born. Bought it and used it a handful of times with each kid but toddler/ floor beds are what works for us. I keep stuff TOt locked that I don’t want them to get into but every where else in the house is free reign.

[@MeaganGarrison]

As a Montessori guide, I wish I had seen this before the holidays so I could send it to all my parents. Each one you named, I found myself saying YES, THANK YOU.

[@amandadebler5839]

I initially felt guilty when I only got around to buying my baby his first pair of shoes at a year old, because I’d not seen any need for them before he could walk and play on playgrounds. Thanks for the affirmation :)

[@Monicamcs]

How does a preschooler start to show interest in letter and numbers? What should I look for as a parent?

[@CutieMoli]

I relate so much to the gun part of this video! My boyfriend wants to buy nerf guns to play with our daughter and I hate the idea with all my heart, it goes against all of my principles! Even back in high school I refused to take part in paintball events (popular in my area} because I don't understand why people would want to simulate war scenarios.

[@VanessaHamilton619]

You’re so awesome! I’ve recently started watching your videos mainly to get ideas for my 2 littles on living the Montessori life. And it’s been helping so much. So many things I wish I knew before I had my son. Now I have a 2.5 yr old daughter and a 1 year old son😓 trying my best to incorporate Montessori in their everyday lives.

[@sallybee3560]

I think it makes my child so happy not to be in a playpen and to be able to move around freely and even explore some of my kitchen drawers 😃 I would like to add to your list: You don‘t need to buy mashed baby food.

[@Songofthestitchblog]

Yes to the baby clothes!! I remember having a bit of a meltdown when getting first shoes for my eldest because so many of the options had laces. Laces!! For a one year old 🤦. Now the rule for us is that shoes need velcro and all baby clothes must be made of soft jersey.

[@AmmaraSHAH773377]

Alsooooo feel you strongly on the shoe search trying to find ones that were made for walking without slipping so i just had to get leather sole pairs for inside and those rubber soles for outside. It ws worth it seeing her confidently walking from 11 months onwards. Now its all about the fastenings and bring smoke to put them on by herself but still bring soft enough to allow range if motion for her feet *sigh*

[@tehanidiaz]

SAME! Hahaha. They are pointless. I quickly learned to buy practical shoes, and my daughter has been able to put on her own shoes from a young age.

[@themicrobiologist562]

I do disagree with the alphabet and number learning. Both my kids have learned counting to ten and alphabet and letter sounds by 2. This was on their own. I didn’t push anything. They learned about this almost exclusively from books. And they were both incredibly interested in this! Now my 4.5 year old is adding and subtracting and teaching herself to read. I view it as having the resources available and they do with it as they will. Both mine have been interested and taken it somewhere earlier than usual.

[@HapaFamily]

Some kids are definitely keen to learn earlier than others! That’s why I love the Montessori approach of following your unique child’s lead. :)

[@christinathorsen4274]

Thank you so much for that insight into coloring books. I sincerely appreciate & will be trading them out for just plain paper here out 🙌🌈❤ Love your channel and thank you again!

[@emilyhudson8455]

I like your point of view about the baby holders. My in laws are always unimpressed when I just put my baby on the floor, I can intuitively see she prefers the floor but they automatically pick her up or ask why I didn’t bring a seat for her…

[@angi6742]

I think that children growing with Montessori will be utterly intelligent adults. I am very happy to have found your chanel.

[@rrr441]

We don't have a lot of money so we only buy what is absolutely necessary... so now instead of saying that we are broke, I will say that we're doing Montessori.

[@Teeee155]

🤣😅😅😅😅😅

[@alexlg9521]

It's wonderful just to hear you talk about this because I am often criticized for doing Montessori and listening to you makes me feel better

[@Muhammed_abd92]

I love love the fact that you mentioned toys that promote violence. I really despice the fact that children are given toy guns and the like. I dont get why one would promote shooting other people. Even if its just for play.

[@BrideofYahusha]

As a wife of a machinist/gunsmith your point about guns and violence gave me a chuckle. My husband was raised by pacifist parents that did everything they could to keep my husband away from guns as a child. Yet at a very young age he would pretend sticks and other objects were guns. He always wanted to learn to hunt but was never allowed to. They did let him learn archery which he was very skilled at. At 18 he bought his first rifle and soon got a degree in gunsmithing. He has since become a very well respected career Machinist. We are both avid hunters and 2A advocates. We also both very much believe in firearm safety as well as the right to defense. I shot firearms while I was pregnant. Our youngest has shot with us since he was very young, which we plan to do with our second as well. I am confident that with the proper education we give them they will always respect firearms and see it as they are, a tool. We also live on a homestead that we butcher our own cows and chickens. Where our children's food comes from has been evident since they were very young. This gives a firm understanding of death. A very overlooked part of life in our society, even in adults. Sheltering children, especially boys from this (death guns) doesn't accomplish much in my opinion. I do agree on not allowing violent shows and books. We stopped watching TV/netflix and Hellywood shows long ago before our kids were even born so this is an easy one I do really enjoy your videos, as I am a noobie here. Thanks for sharing with us. I have learned a lot. Hope you have a blessed day.

[@mounikachinthala]

My boy is 6 months old and I’m glad I found your channel at the right time..

[@atroy1983]

I appreciate some of the sentiment here but it’s just not always practical. Eg. I taught my daughter to drink from an open cup at 10 months. But there are lots of spills, even just accidental ones that it really became impractical. Not to mention, on the go, a lid for anyone is kind of a must. Same goes for baby contraptions. I’m not a fan of most of them but when you have older children and a new baby sometimes you need a safe spot to put them (eg. bouncer seat, pack n play, etc). Honestly, give your child as much freedom and independence as possible but if it is unsafe or completely impractical for your family’s lifestyle then don’t beat yourself up about it.

[@fatimazehralilani1525]

Hi Ashley :) great points! How do you know that your kid is ready for learning? What signs should we look for? Also what's the best way to start introducing letters? Is it the phonics first or just the letter recognition? And how do we know they are ready?

[@skiluva]

Can't speak to all your questions but Ashley does have a video about teaching reading and the main thing I got out of it is that Montessori says to start with sounds not letters. So play I spy with sounds (look up I spy sound game) to start. Teaching letter names is actually last.

[@geleidi]

On coloring books, I agree that I won’t buy them but I was gifted some. I find that colouring books don’t necessarily stifle their creativity because my kids just draw on the colouring books and transform the original drawing into something totally different.

[@MariaandMontessori]

Love love love your conversation on violence here! It's been interesting to see that each of the items that aren't very Montessori that we have tried to use for our own few seconds of calm have been not very liked by Stella 😅 The water wow coloring book? Not really into. Magic markers with blank paper? Loves. Activity table for when I thought I'd be going back to work and needed to take work calls? No more than 5 minutes before she's over it. Freedom to roam the whole home? Loves. She was ok with a play pen for a short period of time while I cooked to keep her safe before dad got home but once she learned to walk, it had to go. But none of the swings, bouncers, etc ever made it home and I'm glad now we didn't spend the money on it. Hoping if we are lucky with another, we can find away to avoid the play center and play pen completely. It's made baby proofing the home much easier too. We have been keeping the same boundaries ever since she was rolling, so aside from actual dangers like chemicals or stairs that she can't navigate herself yet...she is very capable of maintaining boundaries with the rest of the home. Which is very helpful when visiting places that aren't baby proofed!

[@AmmaraSHAH773377]

Omfff yeess thats what I noticed, every time my mum or I have ever given her a non-montessori item it doesn't satisfy her curiosity or needs and she is mostly confused as to what they expect her to be able to do with it other than transport it. Pressing buttons is not really enough and if its a soft toy she'll just hug it but look to me to see if there's a name for it like the other animals she has. Idk its definitely an indicator to me that the activities we prepare or have in our environment really are worth it and probably the reason she has this interest in physical items that she is able to manipulate herself. Also i now know what it would be like generally in our house if we weren't doing Montessori which tbh is a bigg ambiguous structural mess personally for my autistic mind. I know that Montessori is exactly the right approach to our home setting both for Huda and Myself too lol just being able to see other homes without Montessori implented truly showed me why i need to keep up with it in our home.

[@AmmaraSHAH773377]

Also yes when visiting ikea or a child free home or doctor's etc its nice to know that shes conscious of the boundaries in regards to areas she cannot go and resecting other people's personal space is probably something a lot of babies in the pandemic had to learn too i guess bless.

[@MariaandMontessori]

@@AmmaraSHAH773377 oh yes, my parents' house just has a basket that holds all of Stella's toys there like a toy box, and she avoids it until we lay out the activities like it's a shelf 😅 Ikea! Have you gone with Huda? I get overwhelmed there myself, I can't imagine what it's like with a toddler 🤯

[@steffisuarez]

Ashley, thank you very much for everything you teach us ❤ I learn A LOT from you and I always try to share this knowlege with other people 😘

[@caitlynquill3219]

I do wish I had better understood the "adapt to suit your situation" idea - I was adament on using floor beds for my twins (first children) which they 'slept' in from 7months (after bassinet) until 14 months. Which I did not realise was the main reason for their poor sleep until we went to sleep school and we had to use cribs. This instantly had them sleeping through the night. With the floor beds, since they were in the same room, they would 'work each other up' and I would be in a constant state of panic thinking one would lay over the other's face (never happened but PPA).

[@trevor_corey8037]

Hey twin mom here- for the floor beds- we’re your twins sharing the bed ? My babies are still co sleeping with me /bassinet but I’m ready to transition them to floor beds

[@Lamamalou]

Agree with so many on this list, where we deviate is with baby holding devices. I babywear and love it and also used a snuggle me on the floor or the bed when she was a newborn. Worked great for us.

[@HapaFamily]

Yes, I mentioned the baby carrier as one of my exceptions, too! :) We loved ours.

[@allikaypark]

Thanks for sharing this! Very insightful for me with an 11 month old. Unfortunately (for me haha), my daughter almost never wanted to be set down on the floor. Before she was mobile she hated being on her tummy. Hated lying on her back unless she was playing/reaching for toys or being sang/talked/read to etc. Not to mention, she hated being in the car seat, being in the bath, lots of things. She was a very spirited infant and still is pretty spirited as an almost toddler. She disliked everything EXCEPT being held, or sometimes being sat in a sit me up seat or (a bit later) in a bouncer. This was usually only for 5-10 minutes when I couldn’t hold her and she would not tolerate being laid down. I carried her as much as possible in my arms or with a wrap or carrier but of course… sometimes I had to set her down. She’d go crazy after moments of being on the floor, so I tended to set her in a safe kind of propped up seat until she could sit up safely by herself or move herself around. I WISH I could have avoided using containing devices - but I struggled so much with having to hold her every moment she was awake. She still struggles with independent play without me in her direct view - but it’s getting better. We also have a GIANT playpen. Our house has huge vents on the floor and they’re dangerous for her. Basically the whole living room is hers, but since there are no doors we had to invest in a playpen for the moments when I can’t be staring at her and making sure she’s not getting her hand or food stuck in the slats. I can’t wait until we can move and can set up a safe room for her 😌 again, thank you for sharing it has helped me get some ideas and some understanding for when my LO gets older. 😊

[@carolynkennedy1083]

I'm definitely for anything that encourages soft tees and LEGGINGS! 😜 I live in mine and it's 90% of my daughter's wardrobe. 🥰

[@Erik_B]

All of what you said makes sense but the colouring book really came as a surprise. Never looked at it that way. Although our 2 year old doesn`t have one yet, she won`t get one too. At least not from her parents that is. Thanks so much again!

[@limiwa]

Thank you for sharing! I agree with you on most of these. The no crib and no highchair thing I just couldn't seem to get on board with, and I do use a large 6'×7' play yard for when I'm having conference calls (I work from home), otherwise the house is baby-proofed and our 16 month old is almost totally free-range. As far as ABC/123 education goes, I don't buy flashy "teaching" toys, but I do incorporate learning opportunities into play and daily activities, mostly colors, shapes, counting, print awareness, opposites, and other basic concepts. Never forced, just casual ("You're wearing a blue shirt today," "How many green beans do you have?" "What does that sign say?" etc). When my daughter was 4 (she's now 13), she surprised me by suddenly reading sight words and trying to spell things. We had never formally taught her up until then.

[@merviceliwonde6915]

I totally agree on the ABCs n counting with you. Am from Malawi Africa n English is not our first language so if we delay upto 4. Yrs before we start introducing ABC we are in trouble interms of language development

[@Montessori_Motherhood]

We use a high chair for my son to join us for family dinners. He sits with his sister at a weaning table for other meals. He’s old enough for a booster seat at the table now. We have a play pin that we only use when we are traveling as a bed. It works well for hotels or at their grandparents house. The rooms are not baby safe. We have never used the other baby holding devices, and it actually saves a lot of money not buying them! My kids have very generous grandparents that have bought Not- So Montessori toys, but when I purchase them I buy natural materials. I’m okay with having a few. I do a toy rotation and will only have one out at a time. For example, my son loves the Little People bus that we’ve had since my 3 year old was a baby. It’s not overly noisy and it’s fun because they see the school bus every day in our neighborhood. I thinks it’s all about balance and making sure the environment is not overstimulating. It does get harder when the child gets older because people buy things for birthday parties! For my child’s third birthday she got all the Disney princess barbies. She would not let me get rid of them! Now she’s kind of over them, so I think I’ll donate them now.

[@HapaFamily]

Yes, yes, and more yes. I have done many of the same things! I agree that it’s best to find a balance based on what your environmental needs are! ☺️

[@MeggieMartins]

Thanks for the content! Do you have any connections with a Montessori parent of twins? I won't lie that "baby holding devices" have been a life savor for a first time parent who is working full-time from home while caring for her babies on her own for most of the day. I certainly try to limit those. Either way I would love to learn of a Montessori parent of twins. I could use the twin specific tips too. Love your content! I am learning a lot! How did you communicate to extended family and friends about the flashy toys. We get a lot of presents and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Lastly, do Montessori parents ever introduce screens to their children? If so, when?

[@ettinakitten5047]

A lot of Montessori parents really don't like screens and wait as long as possible to introduce them. I have a different viewpoint. To me, saying "screens" as a monolith is like saying "paper". It tells you basically nothing about what you're actually doing, just one of the pieces of technology involved. Just like you your child could color in something, draw their own picture, read a book, make origami, eat bits of paper, etc and all of those would be very different and distinct uses of paper, there's also a ton of different, distinct ways you can use electronic devices. Plenty of electronic options are available that are aligned with Montessori principles, and experimenting with technology early on can teach them to intuitively understand that technology in ways that someone without that experience will struggle to match. (You can see this with the generational gaps between people born 10+ before a technology came out vs people who had access to the technology in childhood.)

[@EmelyPhan]

Out of curiosity, aren't the lids oncoffee cups just glorified sippy cups for adults?

[@vickylewis8558]

I 100% agree with you on the violence thing.

[@lovism6590]

After watching this video I’m really curious on your opinion on duplos. Duplo has long been my now 25mo favorite “toy”. First of all they are plastic, they are also stored in a big box, like a toy box. We have separated all “special pieces” like animals or things with wheels in a separate container so he actually doesn’t dig through the box for pieces. But still. :) I am also fascinated by how different all of our children are. My son is showing a lot of interest in letters and numbers and is constantly scanning the world for letters and numbers he recognizes. I can see he really enjoys and feels proud when he can “read” signs and things in real life and in pictures in books. As he is only two he doesn’t read full words or anything yet but he is clearly showing an interest in numbers and letters and I think it’s really fun that he wants to talk about them with me :)

[@achanwahn]

I had the same ideas, but the space we live in is so small that it wasn’t possible to not use a seat or play pen. It’s ridiculous that we have middle class jobs and can’t afford spaces big enough to give our kids a safe space in the cities we live in. & my husband listened to the end half and the only thing he said at the end was, “What nice tips for the rich.” Which sums up my thoughts lol

[@married-wit-childrenadog9249]

I didn’t use shoes until my toddler could walk; instead, I would use comfortable socks that were designed as shoes (they had shoe laces drawn on the front, etc.), but they were socks. Later, when my son could walk, I would only use shoes for outdoors, but for indoors, I bought “walking socks” with the rubber underneath so that he doesn’t slip. The socks were only worn when the weather was a bit cold, but most of the time, he didn’t have socks on and was barefooted.

[@sarahsshelf8349]

I just wanted to say Hi from Canada :) I've been watching your Montessori at home videos for months and now some of the fam vlogs too! I've completely fallen in love with Montessori and have been eagerly learning absolutely everything I can on the subject and of course having fun with incorporating into our home