Hashtags:

[@RoyAlWhicheez]

My favorite one of these: "If Professor X can move things with his mind, why doesn't use that power on his legs?"

[@blaze556922]

Anyone familiar with the X-Men would know that he does. The wheelchair is more like a Master Yoda's cane thing. It makes him wise and underestimated at the same time.

[@RoyAlWhicheez]

@@blaze556922 Yeah I get all that too dude but the average stoner doesn't... which is what makes it funny. Calm down, nobody is disrespecting our knowledge lol

[@blaze556922]

@@RoyAlWhicheez I wasn't upset lol just pointing it out. Shoulda sounded less intense :)

[@hannahmeyers9471]

@@blaze556922 you are

[@RoyAlWhicheez]

@@blaze556922 👍👍

[@johnreilly7441]

One time my dog barked at the back door to come inside & I noticed how that bark is different from when he he sees squirrels & stuff so I thought "is that how he says my name?"

[@nataliajaf]

Ok now that’s amazing❣️ 😳😂🤯🐶

[@zaydzulqurnain594]

I'm not sure about dogs but I know that cats learn how you, their owner, respond to certain meows and use those particular meows when they want to get certain things. Dogs are cleverer than cats so they probably have that too, if not more advanced.

[@kellypettit1392]

@@zaydzulqurnain594 my dog relies on MY keen senses by displaying his own subtleties...he taps the glass door to the backyard w/ his toenails and I open the door. He wants in & he gently shakes his head and I hear his collar tags jingle. It's a delicate dance that Mr. Smarty Pants-AKA Ragnar- and I do. I wonder sometimes what would he devise if my hearing were shit? Smart ass dog!🙂

[@TheKrazysexykool]

Profound, dude

[@suzannehedderly1331]

😂😂😂

[@OuroMorpheus]

My best high thought: everyone has a unique perspective of the universe, so in a way each person represents a different version of the universe, so the multiverse exists in the minds of humanity. And when you change a person’s perspective, you change a whole universe.

[@SnarfSnarf1]

Love it 🥰🥰

[@Demonglitter]

🤯

[@randl7423]

That is beautiful.

[@rfresa]

This is so true.

[@sebastienbusque2312]

That is deeper than a Zen master...

[@elsafridl7437]

“Do crabs think fish are flying?” I love it.

[@মেহেদীহাসান-ষ৭গ]

Actually swimming is flying. Birds fly gliding and manipulating air fish does that with water.

[@loris.8323]

I feel like this is a legit question and deserves more attention.

[@destinydestiny8271]

"He's flying! He's flying! He's really, really flying!"

[@brettlarch8050]

There’s validity in this

[@VJ-nb6di]

The only reason I'm in the comments is to read more of such #stonerthoughts 😂

[@Marijuanifornia]

Watch the 1942 USDA film, Hemp For Victory. Then end the war on drugs.

[@christophermiller7756]

I would love a Subway sandwich maker like that. I keep feeling like I'm being judged with the toppings I put on my sandwich.

[@kaweween]

Hahahaha same I get anxiety attacks at subway. Once ended up with just bread and tuna because I was so nervous.

[@IsDitGerben]

@@kaweween You’ve got issues 😅

[@adde9506]

And when you say "lots of olives" and they put on exactly seven, because they don't like them so clearly you meant "a few actual olives, not just looking at the olives and thinking about putting them on the sandwich."

[@Trapper50cal]

I feel like my sandwich order gets "knowing nods of approval" as a classic grinder/sub. Oil, Vinegar, oregano, shredded lettuce, jalapeños...

[@missg.5940]

When they invented the first clock, how did they know which time to set the thing at?😳😷🇨🇦

[@amilak6768]

Probably how the sun rise

[@chamm8749]

sun dial

[@missg.5940]

@@chamm8749 I was kidding, l are smart😉😷🇨🇦

[@dilu2228]

@@missg.5940 yeah sure. "You am smart" 😌

[@missg.5940]

@@dilu2228 l was joking....duh!

[@mzjonez8768]

I was so stoned once that I got stuck trying to figure out how today is yesterday's tomorrow 😂😁😁😂

[@jomontanee]

It makes a philosopher out of us. 🤣🤣

[@ShawnLH88]

Just remember: today is tomorrow as if yesterday were today

[@adquilantang]

I'm not high and that took me a little bit.

[@thereaper8609]

"Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery, an today is a gift. That's why they call it present."

[@suzandouglass5241]

People who drink, drive through stop signs. People who get stoned, wait for the stop sign to turn green.

[@amybudafulldisaster3646]

*facts* 💨🌱💨

[@Marijuanifornia]

The legalization of "Marihuana" enabled the US to stop the Holocaust. Watch the 1942 USDA film, Hemp For Victory. The Federal license to grow hemp that is shown in the video reads, "Producer of Marihuana."

[@amybudafulldisaster3646]

@@Marijuanifornia 💙🌱💨💙🌱

[@jmjung9]

I did that sober once 🤣

[@tardis58575]

my boyfriend does that all THE FUCKING TIME. its hilarious

[@BlinnBelle]

I’m calling chargers Apple Juice from now on, I love it

[@racetucker56]

I can’t stop thinking about the crab one😂 Also, am I the only one that thinks Jimmy and the fella he’s with are high in this clip?

[@sophiemay6785]

Haha they just go off on tangents it's the best part 🤣

[@chrissiebawn9357]

🤣🤣😀👍🖖🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@Rainbow-yh6ov]

I absolutely thought the same thing!

[@zzzcocopepe]

Im proud to say I've thought of that one myself. In science class back in the day, one of my teachers had a little toy thing. It was a clear plastic cube and inside it had layers of fluids, with boats floating on the different layers. So basically, air and water are like that. Air is basically a liquid. It moves in currents in exactly the same way that water moves. The difference is that it's density is SO thin, so most "air" animals can't float. Only birds and bats, because their bones are so lightweight. Also bugs! Bugs can float in air.

[@Skizzy034]

We need like 50 more of just this hashtag.

[@yannicnoah4948]

go to twitter and lookup the hashtag; Jimmy only picked a few of them, out of them all

[@wooshhimgonne]

I thought the same

[@aubreymclean7712]

Jimmy rambling for hours between tweets is like when you have to scroll down six pages in an article to find the two sentences you actually cared about.

[@RyanConnell5150]

Rude

[@brianbullivant4753]

@@RyanConnell5150 The truth isn't rude.

[@biltsaparas3590]

Or wanting a recipe but have to scroll through the entire history of the dish

[@jiminsjimjams9477]

Except it's actually funny when Jimmy does it here.

[@therealunicornselene]

Jimmy rambling for hours between tweets is the reason I watch the show

[@aaronpokomon1547]

Stoner thought: was sitting there and thought, wouldn't it be cool if we could have like a Jurassic Park, but animals that exist now, then I followed that directly by thinking fuck I'm high... A ZOO!

[@user-cd4mp5nf8b]

Hehe

[@nicholemichael4136]

I thought catarina_v_d was supposed to be like Katerina Vampire Diaries because one of the characters in Vampire Diaries is Katerina Petrova

[@Artnotforthesakeofart]

XD

[@alaynapayton6576]

Same

[@laannw4263]

Yeah, probably. But I still heard what he heard immediately. Lol

[@allenanalla2549]

I was so baked one time I was using the flashlight on phone to look for my phone!!! Lmfao that good good

[@becauseIrock]

It's a little scary that that's something you did while you were high, because I've done that stone cold sober... Twice! 😳

[@allenanalla2549]

@@becauseIrock lmfao dam that is scary..maybe start smoking so you'll function properly 😏

[@spamlives77]

Good good

[@avitallichtenfeld813]

These segments are soooo much longer with Higgins back and I love it

[@daveroche6522]

Totally agree. Sometime my best friend (for 30+ years) and myself just go off on some weird tangent but somehow manage to NEVER laugh. Most of our families think we're "a tad off"....

[@melreynswan6751]

You know the Hashtags segment is going to be great when it’s longer ‘cause it means Jimmy and Steve have taken something and ran with it.

[@mattg8072]

you can get high on 4/22 because 4/22 is 4/20 too

[@RIXRADvidz]

Hippo Birdie Two Bees.

[@izstrella]

The city background is so beautiful! Also, holy shit: DO crabs think fish are flying?!

[@longmatey80]

lol You're welcome.

[@cherry.bomb_]

Once my friend and I were looking at birds flying in a v, where my friend says “I wonder how they plan to stop for lunch..”

[@amberf768]

My ears popped and I looked at my friend and said "Dude I think I was just breathing out of my ears!!"

[@lilRadRidinHood]

Once a couple friends and I went camping on peyote and mushrooms. We got to the site as it was getting dark, built a campfire and saw big diamonds on the ground. All night long we verbalized our plans on how to collect, divide equally and then spend our riches. At sunrise it turned out we were in a junkyard surrounded by broken glass.

[@Kryz3686]

My friends came up with the secret for time travel and they wrote it all down on a piece of paper and it was literally just a bunch of letters and numbers that meant nothing with a few random phrases thrown in lol.

[@bradleywalker8642]

That secret code won't make sense until last Thursday.

[@sarahalbers5555]

I recently had general anesthesia and I was lit for 3 days. Good times.

[@lawrencedoliveiro9104]

I had to have it two days in a row. Nothing like that happened to me. Are you sure that was a real anaesthetist?

[@JGLuxe]

@@lawrencedoliveiro9104 My guess is she's missing a couple organs now.

[@ChandlerSomborac]

I was so high once, I spent a good 15 minutes looking for the joint I'd just put out... it was in my pocket!

[@cheriann6461]

lol. Been there. I once smoked a joint in my car, then got stuck trying to estimate how long it took me to smoke the joint. Then I got stuck wondering how long I'd been pondering how long it took me to smoke the joint.

[@lorirose4841]

One time my friend and I were stoned and she said she couldn’t get the air conditioner to work. I thought she said hair conditioner and my response was “lather rinse and repeat!” It took us an absurdly long time to figure out what the other person was talking about it. It wasn’t until the NEXT DAY that I realized I was describing how to use shampoo not conditioner 😂🤣😂

[@KLbSYNCHRONOUS]

I'm laughing so loud that I woke up my hubby. I said I'm sorry babe, it's just too funny! I enjoyed these too much, thank you.

[@crystalp7242]

I’ve been missing Jimmy and Steve’s banter! The tangents they go on are sometimes funnier than the bit that sent them on it in the first place. 😂

[@moonwalker091000]

I know right?? They get so sidetracked and its hilarious!! Sometimes I'm laughing so hard at their banter, that I forget what they were talking about in the first place!! Love these guys!!

[@tneville24]

Me too!! I love Higgins!!!

[@filbazz87_88]

One time “Someone” I knew put a bowl of cereal in the microwave and then poured milk into their pizza.

[@jilln.1761]

"someone"

[@weasley2o13]

I wasn't high but one time I was so tired that I threw my cereal into the sink, not realizing there was no milk in them, and then put the empty bowl in the fridge.

[@Marijuanifornia]

One time, America legalized weed to stop Hitler. Watch the 1942 USDA film, Hemp For Victory.

[@amyg7567]

The Hershey's one had me dying. 😂

[@lisettebenavides3464]

This conversation goes off coarse for so long to something so crazy. It makes think that THEY’RE the high ones. Or maybe it’s cuz I’m really high so I forget the main conversation?

[@Jaderator1]

Ok this has to be a multi part series!

[@wadafuttshowprolem7998]

Jimmy said “every week” a bunch of times right at the beginning.

[@adrock1011]

Pretty awesome how quick jimmy picked up on the close encounter song

[@Arkain7]

"If oxygen was a life form, when you breathe it in you are killing it. And the carbon monoxide you breathe out is it's corpse..." this was honestly one of my stoner thoughts.

[@TheFlemmo123]

Carbon dioxide is the gas you are breathing out, also much left of the oxygen and all the other cool gases that make up the mixture we humans call air. 🙂

[@aliciascott6464]

🦀 🐠 Ok, but *do* crabs think fish are flying? 🤔

[@amybudafulldisaster3646]

I'm *only* gonna be thinking of that question every time I watch ocean docs now🐳 😆💨😆

[@longmatey80]

1:57 - Once in Hawaii, and after smoking a good strong sativa strand, I started snorkeling (smorkeling) and saw a crab looking up at me and thought, “holy shit, he must think I’m flying! Wait a minute... he must think the fish are flying!!! 🤯”. And thus, this comment has stuck in my head for over 5 years. And that’s how and why it’s in your head now. You’re welcome.

[@davidleaman6801]

Stoner # 1 - "I'm hungry" 1minute passes. Stoner # 2 - "For food or knowledge?" - one uncomfortable minute passes. Stoner #1 - "What were we talking about?"

[@mzjonez8768]

I hate it when that happens 😃

[@Marijuanifornia]

Watch the 1942 USDA film, Hemp For Victory. The legalization of Cannabis Sativa helped to stop the Holocaust. The legalization of Cannabis Sativa now will stop climate change.

[@sessionshannah]

Me😂😂😂

[@lucefina5091]

I once got so high i thought could hear Tribal drums , turns out it was multicultural day in the city ......

[@adriennec26]

Omg stop lol 🤭🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@montgomerymichelle6047]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@BlairMountainNetwork]

Niiiice!!! 😆

[@longmatey80]

1:57 - bout time us Longmatey80’s ended up on tv!

[@longmatey80]

@Van Pham ^^^ video cliff notes - man finds kittens. Dunks them in milk. Try’s to breast feed them. My IQ just dropped 40 points with this.

[@viksaggu9085]

The Crabs tweet has me thinking way to hard!!

[@FrankieUtka]

That meteor one is something I think about A LOT actually. I'm high.

[@raanianna4455]

I think it's actually pretty close to what really happened... 😊

[@jsunshine9181]

Hashtags are Funny. When you need a laugh for the day or anytime it's there to watch. Made me laugh through out the whole mv. Thanks to everybody's hashtags and Jimmy Fallon for making this Happen.

[@terrietravis3203]

First stoned thought first time I smoked: I had my hand on my knee, and was amazed that my hand could feel the warmth of my knee while my knee could simultaneously feel the coolness of my hand!!

[@alisonmorton9465]

How long does my leg hair have to grow for me to call it fur? #soberthought

[@Thats_CheckMATE2026MAN]

It's #stonerthoughts

[@JIMANGRYFOOTCOMICS]

Hibernation

[@iamkhonsu]

When I’m stoned, I just laugh at everything. Every. Single. Thing.

[@starkisses85]

I wish I could be that kinda high again 🤣🤣

[@TheKrazysexykool]

Me too. And repeat "mini bundt pans" over and over

[@tinabell6583]

In 1975 wild stoned I had the Epiphany that if you put your cup of coffee in the refrigerator it will get cold

[@SwtTeaLdy]

The, "Do crabs think fish are flying?" got me. LMFAO

[@simonejohnson1993]

I have a friend who once said that everytime we go on holiday, we go to space. After asking her, what the hell do yoi mean? She genuinely thought that when the plane goes above the clouds, we went into space. Best of all, she wasn't stoned, nor was she drunk 😂

[@bradleywalker8642]

"We ARE in space. It's all around us. We're smack-dab in the middle of space." ~ Ricky Gervais

[@TheKrazysexykool]

Was she blonde?

[@ellisjones4862]

Do crabs think fish are flying? That's the coolest thing I've heard all week

[@gigijones4165]

I was stoned and missed this episode, glad it’s on here. I love the show, but mostly watch for Mark, the bass player in the Roots. ❤️

[@z.h.loverrr]

i’m always stoned so these are so relatable

[@YeeSoest]

EDGE LEVEL OVER 9000!! Sorry, someone had to do it, that's the rule. I thought it'd rather be me, a fellow permanent stoner. But maybe that's another stoner thought...i dunno

[@pattnorton3217]

YOU TAKE THAT BACK ABOUT HIGGINS HE'S HILARIOUSLY AWESOME!!!

[@ashleybutler9200]

Favorite hashtag segment! 😂

[@denirferraz737]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/hpKQZH2CpcqSgMk❤️

[@phillbucs]

The fact that it was almost entirely improvised makes even more enjoyable. This one was funny.

[@Marijuanifornia]

Watch the 1942 USDA film, Hemp For Victory. #HempForVictory

[@miaveranika30]

When they are roasting E.T 😂

[@yankeeladee02]

Double meaning for HASHtag #️⃣😂

[@jrscisneros]

Brilliant

[@denirferraz737]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/hpKQZH2CpcqSgMk❤️

[@klarastern5597]

nice ^^

[@LindaC616]

👏👏👏

[@Matt-sc6gg]

don't get it pls ellaborate

[@KLbSYNCHRONOUS]

Higgins + Fallon = best team ever!!

[@aproxamillionwasps474]

That dude is so annoying though

[@julie6092]

I TOTALLY agree. They have *the best* chemistry together for bantering!! 👍👍😁

[@wadafuttshowprolem7998]

Higgins is just a live ventriloquist dummy

[@middleagedginger9738]

One time a buddy of mine, dead serious, says, “WOAH! Did you feel that time warp?!”….. I totally did. 😳

[@bradleywalker8642]

I remember that. It happened next Thursday.

[@starsigngirl9789]

This is beyond appropriate for me I am high

[@37Raffaella]

Me too... 🤣🤣🤣🥂

[@dinasilva9263]

😂😂😂

[@kinetic.finley]

I can't get past how if crabs think that fish are flying. 🤯

[@longmatey80]

@@kinetic.finley You are welcome.

[@rcrlyrubro7230]

Same.. I clicked a lil fast and I think jimmy got high before this 🤣

[@marnivee8992]

The rabbit holes these two go down on each tweet crack me the hell up 😂

[@annenadar5930]

"Do crabs think fish are flying"

[@kisacat9037]

So those fish we catch and release - do they think they've experienced an alien abduction?

[@TheKrazysexykool]

Yup

[@Mossfaerie]

I would literally pay to watch an entire hour (or more) of just Jimmy and Higgins rambling on and on, following their train of thought, talking about essentially nothing... WHY IS THIS NOT A SEGMENT IN ITSELF.

[@dazie3381]

OMG! Me too lol

[@GreyPajamas]

I would enjoy that too! But it seems to be the minority opinion 😅 Far more people seem to dislike those moments.

[@mretie]

They're dynamite together

[@susanstranahan21]

I think Jimmy and Higgins ARE in this bit....

[@onefreddymorales]

Lololol Higgins makes this bit so much better

[@Knil11]

I was missing higgins so much, so glad he’s back

[@mirkatu3249]

Some of those are actually brilliant.

[@klarastern5597]

I think so too!

[@pleutron]

I like when Fallon and Higgins start dorking out

[@Kat-eb4ck]

He pretends not to be a 'stoner' himself and tries to avoid admitting it every single time a guest calls him out for it, yet he does things like this. LMAO

[@TheSamleigh]

Wow! Watched first bit a second time and man! I just got the vacuum cleaner thought. Wow! That was AMAZING!

[@tylerboyer2890]

When someone says you’re being transparent, for some reason I think of a guy and girl trapped in one body parenting.😂

[@mr8883]

At 4:41, LOL he talked like how we would talk day-to-day if someone piss us off "Err Err Err. Shut up, Glowing Thing, Get Out of Here" Higgin's is the best.

[@miaveranika30]

"No wonder his parents left him." 😂😂😂

[@WeChoseHATE]

Clean a vacuum you become a vacuum cleaner 🤯. So awesome! Do crabs think fishes are flying? 🤣 when you water water-it grows. Haha.

[@lawrencedoliveiro9104]

And when you fire fire, it grows, too.

[@harshitagoel]

The worst part is... I don't even have to be high to get these thoughts 😂😭

[@liliflafi5644]

You mean the best

[@harshitagoel]

@@liliflafi5644 haha ig yeah

[@kdfkdf1711]

Higgins! 😆😆😆👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@MissSmudge78]

@4:47 ... Pretty sure these 2 are stoned while reading these out! 🤪🤣

[@kerryegan3091]

Jimmy’s look of utter confusion at 2:08 😂😂🥰🥰

[@Bronkosauras]

I think every stoner needs to watch this episode of hashtags. I'm sober and halfway through this segment I was thinking, "What in the hell is going on right now?"

[@dainslatton9877]

The ET riff slayed me :D

[@binnins1982]

The person getting their id done stole my idea. Use to do that for years lol!

[@AlienCatTweets]

OMG you ended @catarina_v_d... And I'm laughing too cause I'm stoned and now I can't stop.

[@alinayugay934]

Jimmy💜❤

[@denirferraz737]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/hpKQZH2CpcqSgMk❤️

[@tylerhackner9731]

Wouldn’t think of these unless I was actually high lol

[@patmaurer8541]

I like to prank high people. When they fall asleep, put an empty toilet paper roll in their hand and a tiny piece in their mouth. :-D

[@madastrota]

That tangent went so long I was starting to think they were high. Who are we kidding, Higgins is probably high every episode.

[@josephcole1484]

I miss the times where he talked to the roots more instead of this guy

[@rev.rachel]

Yeah I kinda wish he talked to both Higgins and the Roots. The Roots got really good at the banter when Higgins was offstage.

[@becauseIrock]

YES

[@devilpupbear09]

These are some mind blowing epiphanies!

[@wadafuttshowprolem7998]

Piphanies are thoughts that come to you....Epiphanies are when those thought make it to the Internet !!!

[@shannonardo]

Who would unlike this!!!??? Love it!!!

[@tessaziegler5798]

I would go to Subway a hell of a lot more if all the sandwich artists were like that guy lol

[@jarasen1]

I can’t even get through this vid. Just read the tweets. Those are the funny parts.

[@Ms.OliversLife]

Get on with it! Read the hashtags!

[@user-ch1vu8bk2k]

"I had his phone this whole time" hilarious!

[@FrankieUtka]

That last one was GOLD

[@JavierFernandez01]

Hash tags.. i get it now. :)

[@sinansn6499]

I love jimmy

[@veronicablanco8457]

Excelente sound effects using the mouth 👄😺

[@peepeecaca247]

I was really expecting a reference to That 70’s Show... “there’s this car... that runs on water MAN”

[@rheabooth7862]

The sandwich maker had me rolling

[@user-cs3zs6jn1d]

I would have added everything to my subway sandwich twice.

[@lynnwilson1797]

When you see a fly land on the celling, did he barrel role or back flip to make his landing?

[@kristelsillasoo4149]

You becomea vaccuum cleaner.hilarious🤣