He Confessed to Having Sex With a Minor

[@dolphinbear661]

That's not an "affair", that's a "crime".

[@Mom_to_schnauzers]

YES!!!

[@pamelatd]

Yes!! Not an affair.

[@user-wf6ce4ow9x]

In the state of Florida, once a juvenile turns the age of 16, they may consent to sexual activity with someone who is between the ages of 16-23 years old.

[@josephinenelan4204]

@@user-wf6ce4ow9x I'm pretty sure you can still prosecute it, it just means someone can petition to not be registered as a s offender. FL is one if the stricter states if people (usually parents) want to push the issue. When you look up law sites, and the actual statutes, it's not as simple as "legal".

[@pamelatd]

@@user-wf6ce4ow9x I would assume the law would take into account the power this man had over her. They weren't just kids dating. He was an adult in a position of power in church and because he was her boss, as she was the babysitter. I doubt she was really able to consent without fear of losing her job.

[@intensepassion3382]

You literally cannot have an "affair" with a child

[@Juangalt]

Why not?

[@miranda725]

@@Juangaltit’s assumed it’s consensual. It’s just simply a crime.

[@gloriajean8024]

@@miranda725 A child cannot consent though.

[@brightpage1020]

Agreed. Not developementally capable of consent because they can’t fully conceptualize the potential risks to their lives and lifestyles… in a mature or measured way.

[@thestorybehindthat5236]

20 years ago society didn't see an "almost adult" teenager with a young adult man as molestation. In that sense a whole lot of people were collectively enablers without realizing it. Pretty sure there were, maybe still are, states that allow teenagers to marry young adults. I think you could even marry as a teen to someone older if you have an unplanned pregnancy too. I imagine at the time he didn't see himself as a predator as she was "almost a legal adult" and he was a young adult. He probably did see the relationship as an affair. Imagine now that we're clear on these situations as a society there's men that know better than to go there and don't want to get labeled a pedophile. But it wasn't always like that. We just didn't see something like this as deeply problematic. A couple in my church were teenage sweethearts. She was a freshman when he was a senior. They both got married when she turned 18 and still together with a bunch of kids now.

[@meganhaber]

She's a TEACHER! She's required to report!!!! My head is exploding over this.

[@anonymouse9833]

EXACTLY. I cannot get over this point, the therapist too (if they're actually a therapist). Hopefully she finally did?

[@BAKER22-l4u]

Then get HELP

[@araceliramirez7315]

And the counselor too! The amount of people that failed here is disgusting!

[@robbiereeb5724]

There’s nothing to report because this is technically legal. Why are people missing that?

[@leslietarter2096]

Sad excuses for adults

[@KEL364]

Raped a child, not "had sex with." A crime, not an affair.

[@alex7171]

Depends on her specific age, and the specific state. If she's 16, it might be morally wrong anywhere, but is only illegal in a minority of states.

[@melonioilar8569]

Say what it truly is! It’s abuse and not okay! He raped a child!

[@alex7171]

@@punkrockgirl488 Why exactly would stating objective facts be "concerning" or "scary"? I've already noted that being with a 16 year-old can be considered morally wrong for anyone significantly older. However, it's not a crime in most states. If you want to make it a crime, work to reform the law. Until then, it's concerning and scary that people want to lock people up for doing things they personally find immoral, even if it's not a crime. Under that reasoning, a lot of woman who get abortions could get locked up.

[@acorn8170]

Especially the fact it was the babysitter at the church he is ON STAFF at...he is disgusting. This is bad in all ways

[@KEL364]

@@alex7171 Age of consent doesn't count in situations where it's someone in a position of authority to the child. This is why teachers can be arrested for sexual abuse of students who are 16-18 and still in school under their authority and guidance.

[@juliestevens0426]

she buried her head in the sand until her daughter got to the same age. Now she's scared

[@ad_kk16]

Sadly that's how some people operate. Doesn't think about it too much until they have a child of their own & being at that same age when it happened. I'm glad she at least somewhat cared... but damn...

[@spinecollector9931]

Sounds like maybe she’s having suspicions BECAUSE her daughter is the same age… maybe she’s been picking up on things that don’t seem right to her lately

[@racheltarentino3314]

Yup, sickening

[@BeBlessed56]

Bingo! And honestly if that’s the case, than she’s as responsible as he is. If she only expressed truly concern and desire to live him because it was HER child and not others, then she should be ashamed of herself

[@mishazabranska153]

Please, look up trauma boding and gaslighting. She tried and was NOT believed. Also, this country does not support divorced women and single mothers. She is a victim too! By him and by her culture and the society. @@BeBlessed56

[@Nahhnope]

She's a teacher?! And she didn't report child abuse?!

[@katrinna7311]

Irresponsable. When she said that she’s a teacher I did a double take at my phone

[@brendamoon2660]

Doesn't she have a legal obligation to report? If this was someone else's husband she would have CPS on speed dial

[@kennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn1242]

@@brendamoon2660 yes teachers are mandatory reporters

[@T-CainesZR1]

She was raped.. her brain has been rewired when she was young. Taking along time for her to come to terms with all of this. Doesn't make it right.

[@jessicadominguez1315]

She should lose her job and her certification permanently.

[@divinecrime]

“How do I trust a male adult who victimized little girls at church?” You literally DON’T. At all. Ever.

[@JackMason-oq8lf]

Actually ....how can you trust anything that has to do with church?

[@Mvjorgirlmvjorpvin]

This is THE WORST type of human being ever. Statistically, historically, all of it.

[@BrownCreature]

Clearly stated not a little girl. 15-16 or 16-17, he was 23... it's a crime but not what you're making it out to be

[@Mama2three-m3x]

@@BrownCreature I’m now 31 I was repeatedly raped starting at 15 by a guy that turned 24 six weeks in I don’t think you know what you are talking about.

[@jf8200]

Her husband IS a predator. He’s the exact definition of the word. Please do not engage in predator apologetics. If you have someone in mind from a similar situation, please call child protective services in your area and talk out the details with them. They’ll be able to sort through everything and see if anything needs to be done.

[@mae_liii]

The fact that she works with kids AND is a mandatory reporter and yet has failed to report her husband to the police is completely insane! I’m LIVID

[@heatherlowe7330]

Totally agree!

[@MSSHARIII]

Right 🤯🤯🤯 What on earth 😩😩

[@red7474]

Yesssss! She should be charged with the husband! Silence is compliance!!!

[@alanluscombe8a553]

And she even states that he has been fired and creepy before. Dude is a predator and there is no trusting or fixing these people. And soooo many sickos use religion as a shield and so many of these churches cover this stuff up. If he was fired for this incident why was he not in jail

[@MsRuneGirl]

Welcome to the way the world works. My friend was groomed when we were both 15, ended up ending her life over it, years later I finally found out who the guy was and told everyone he knew about what happened because I thought at least then people will know, and his family defended him. But not defended him because they didn’t think he was guilty, but saying that because he didn’t keep talking to her for more than a few months after the sexual contact, he obviously felt bad about it so he’s not to blame for anything. And it was my friend’s fault for ‘seducing’ him. He was 24 at the time. Then his mom told me I was a stupid little girl and my friend shouldn’t have been such a slut. And that I needed to just get over it and having sex with a 15 year old girl wasn’t young enough to make her son a predator. 🤷‍♀️ I was expecting them not to believe me, but I definitely wasn’t expecting them to already be aware and have no regard for it. You’d be surprised how far people will go to defend their family members.

[@gloriajean8024]

Correction “He preyed upon a minor”, he did not have an affair with her. The girl is a victim, not a participant .

[@JackMason-oq8lf]

The mom sounds a little flaky. How would she know the girl was not a willing participant? How do we know that the girl didn't lead the guy on, that she didn't seduce him? We do not know. Condemn her anyway. You just know she's a bad sort, leading guys on like that. Bad girl.

[@VioletEmerald]

Affair in this context is a way for her to selfishly discuss how for her it's worse because he was supposed to be monogamously married to her and she is thinking of this like he had sex with another woman. And then she adds a an afterthought but that this person was a child but rather the impersonal phrasing "a minor" like it's just a technicality related to legality, as if the age of the person isn't an additional moral problem to her. She's so far deep in denial about so much of this.

[@LightsaberGoBrrrrrr]

The age gap could have been a lot worse tho tbh

[@emanx222]

Honestly doesnt matter ​@@LightsaberGoBrrrrrr

[@Josh-ol8sy]

@@emanx222it does matter, psychologically there is a BIG difference between a 23 year old guy having sex with a 16 year old and a 25+ year old guy having sex with a 10 year old, with a 23-16 age gap it is much more likely that the man has problems with sex addiction/impulse control instead of pedophilia

[@benjaminhartman4488]

This woman is an enabler. She had a responsibility to protect the community from him.

[@mikkibates7854]

AND she is a victim, who probably didn't get care after her own trauma. Everyone needs to join forces against this perpetrator. Mom was mistakenly trying to protect her kids - while she was actually putting them in harms way EVERY day.

[@juliarussellkautt4748]

So many of these comments criticizing the wife reveal that you don’t understand the dynamics of spousal abuse. The wife is as much a victim as the teen girl. Her husband groomed her. He has gaslighted her into believing it’s wrong for her to betray him. I guarantee that creep knew exactly how to talk to her and treat her so she’d stay loyal. It messes with your mind. She sounds like a sweet, loyal person. She does not need to be thrashed - she needs compassion and guidance to help her understand that she also is suffering sexual abuse and to understand she’s married to a criminal and needs to call it what it is and GET OUT and away. People need to get educated about the way sexual predators and narcissistic sociopaths operate. I’ll say it again, the wife IS ALSO A VICTIM.

[@benjaminhartman4488]

@@juliarussellkautt4748 She was confronted with a terrible choice and she made the decision that resulted in the least public shame. I would have been sympathetic if she chose to turn him in... She was wrong to cover this up and went from victim to enabler.

[@Efalonda]

Its all womens fault. Man behaves bad = woman let him. Culture of "letting him".

[@benjaminhartman4488]

@@Efalonda What a trash response, showing little thought, as he is obviously the primary villain here. That is separate from her problem - she is being an enabler after turning a blind eye. Has nothing to do with gender roles as you tried to suggest.

[@samanthasmiles9112]

23 year old slept with a 15 year old while he was in a position of power. Holy cow. This guy belongs in jail.

[@LightsaberGoBrrrrrr]

Could be a lot worse. Far from monster levels

[@strawberryfields6917]

That is a monster, especially considering he's a so called Christian who you would think would know better. No excuses whatsoever ​@@LightsaberGoBrrrrrr

[@Daddycthulu978]

Believe me when I say that it gets much much worse than that.

[@LightsaberGoBrrrrrr]

@@Daddycthulu978 But to the emotional people everyone is a monster. No degrees to anything. So ridiculous

[@LightsaberGoBrrrrrr]

@@strawberryfields6917 He's really not a monster at all. It's a very common thing to be attracted to 15 year olds still when you're 223. And only one year later she would be legal in many, many states. There's a huge difference between hooking up with a 15 year old vs a 5 year old

[@adia0005]

“You’re pretending your house is still standing and it’s not.” Such a powerful statement. This is so insane, it just get progressively worse. She needs to grow up and hold not only her POS husband but herself accountable for the bad decisions that were made.

[@SobrietyandSolace]

The hurricane analogy is great and Imm glad he told her straight she needs to see things. (and him) for what they really are

[@heatherlowe7330]

I don't know if I am more disgusted by the fact that she knew he is a predator and said nothing to his employers who let him work with children or the fact that she allowed her children to be around him!!!

[@suadasuehuseinovic2472]

@@heatherlowe7330you’re disgusting, how dare you blame her!! She’s the VICTIM! Have some EMPATHY & get a grip over your ego who thinks it knows everything!

[@lashaonda]

The fact that she called it an "affair" is WILD! That "therapist" was probably a church counselor so of course they wouldn't report it.

[@haleytruslow7200]

Bingo. It’s definitely a church counselor who recommended prayer and did not report the abuse 🙄

[@EmpressMermaid]

Something tells me she also classified her own rape in college as "had pre-marital sex." I'm willing to bet he "prayed over me and still accepted me even though I was damaged goods."

[@diondredouglas7668]

Why wouldn't a church counselor report it?

[@orangesplaylist]

@@diondredouglas7668 I meannn look at the people in that church she's in...

[@haleytruslow7200]

@@diondredouglas7668 Typically they offer “counseling” and prayer and handle things within the church rather than involving law enforcement. They aren’t actual therapists so they are not mandated reporters. Church counselors are notorious for sweeping sexual crimes under the rug.

[@PearlsCraftsYT]

WHY IS SHE JUST SITTING THERE RECOUNTING ALL THIS TO DR JOHN BUT NOT THE COPS

[@shawnanderson7858]

she's probably simply just protecting him.

[@SD99722]

Im hoping this is her taking a baby step towards going to the cops. It is scary even admitting something big and scary like this even happened around you/involving you/ involving someone you love or who is close to you.... I'm praying this call to into the show is the wife taking the first step towards coming out with this deep dark secret she's buried and locked away for so long. Good for you Sarah for gathering your courage towards taking the first step to the truth. God be with you and your children. 🙏🏼🩷

[@jacksgl777]

@@SD99722. So what would you recommend? Go to the cops and say “yes, I’d like to report that my husband slept with a 16/17 yo when he was 22/23. And it was 20 years ago”. WHAT do you think will happen from that?

[@karablake9200]

Did you not watch until the end? Or is it that you have never been raped?

[@karablake9200]

​@@SD99722 Thank you for the levity. I mean it.

[@theluckienurse]

I’m only 6 mins in so far… the caller is disturbing, her husband is disturbing, and their little support circle at church /with their therapist is disturbing. The fact that she did not leave him and nobody thought to report this man…

[@ImDahDude]

You obviously didn’t finish it because you’ve edited it after hearing that this caller was also raped. She’s traumatized which probably explains why she responded the way she did.

[@theluckienurse]

@@ImDahDude I finished it. I feel bad for her but she needs real help

[@sabrinaliu66]

A true reflection of the modern church, how screwed we are.

[@juliarussellkautt4748]

So many of these comments criticizing the wife reveal that you don’t understand the dynamics of spousal abuse. The wife is as much a victim as the teen girl. Her husband groomed her. He has gaslighted her into believing it’s wrong for her to betray him. I guarantee that creep knew exactly how to talk to her and treat her so she’d stay loyal. It messes with your mind. She sounds like a sweet, loyal person. She does not need to be thrashed - she needs compassion and guidance to help her understand that she also is suffering sexual abuse and to understand she’s married to a criminal and needs to call it what it is and GET OUT and away. People need to get educated about the way sexual predators and narcissistic sociopaths operate. I’ll say it again, the wife IS ALSO A VICTIM.

[@theluckienurse]

@@juliarussellkautt4748 you can be a victim and an enabler / a predator. Unfortunately, many predators were once victims who grew up and continued the same cycle that hurt them.

[@kuro.hitsuji]

Your reaction when she said "He was on staff at a church" was all of us. I appreciate how you don't hold back about how sick it is

[@colinbradfield72]

Most of these videos mentions church makes you think about how maybe religion is not a good thing

[@omairamena5493]

​@colinbradfield72 same thought, I simply cannot belive it, the caller wow wow how can she be with him after knowing all of that

[@jonnylumberjack6223]

​@@colinbradfield72 There are so many people who think that going to church and saying "praise Jesus" multiple times a day makes them good people. There is no link between their religious thinking and their morality. None.

[@unexpectedsongbird8952]

Unfortunately, I literally said out loud "Of course he was...OF COURSE he was!!" When the church comment was made. How screwed up is it though that THAT is my first thought (and I'm sure a lot of people's first thought) when I hear "position of power" and "affair (which is the MOST ridiculous thing to call it!) with a minor" and I'm in England!! I'm not even in the same freaking country but THAT is the size of the epidemic of abuse within churches and organised religion on a global scale. It is truly horrific. I have huge sympathy for her as a r @pe (not sure if you're allowed to use the actual word on youtube) survivor, however, she is also a teacher which at least in the UK also makes HER a mandatory reporter spouse or no spouse and as much as she desperately needs help and support to deal with trauma when you step into a position such as that of a teacher you're agreeing to, certainly when it comes to s exual assault etc put other people's safety above your own and YOU REPORT. 😢 Now she has to learn to live with her own trauma and (when it dawns on her, which it will, one day) the trauma of knowing the number of young girls he could and likely has victimised since. People like this DON'T stop at one. They just don't! 😢😢😢

[@CairynJay]

I LOVE how John handled this. This is EXACTLY how someone should respond. “Tell me he’s been fired” “tell me the therapist reported him?!” “GET A LAWYER” all of the things. I love how strongly he worded his disgust with everyone who enabled this dude including the wife who called. He held her accountable as well which was great. Why has SO MANY people in his life, including the church, let him get away with this?!!

[@calisongbird]

He spent 99% of the call talking about her and her marriage and her feelings and her past.... and VERY LITTLE about all the CHILDREN who are STILL in danger of predation by her pedophile husband. He made reference to it at one point, that the guy was still "floatin around out there," but at no point did he say "You need to report your husband to the authorities NOW." So let's say this woman takes her kids and leaves the marriage successfully - great. Her ex-husband is still out there potentially preying on young people. WTF????

[@miss_sunshine25]

Because way too many "churches" are more concerned with their reputation than protecting the innocent!!!!!!

[@bettyjojoeharperre-imagina7322]

“Why did the church let him get away with it?” The church infamously does not look out for the children. That’s not just Catholics, any church!

[@FancyRPGCanada]

Shame. It’s always shame

[@patl.spears9288]

IAs a Pastor myself, I loved when he said “have your Pastor call me. I’d love to talk to the dude.”

[@lydiahearts8611]

I'm a trauma therapist and I cannot say loudly enough that he put his finger right on top of it when he said she married a predator who took advantage of the horrible trauma she'd been through and what it did to her psychologically.

[@calisongbird]

He spent 99% of the call talking about her and her marriage and her feelings and her past.... and VERY LITTLE about all the CHILDREN who are STILL in danger of predation by her pedophile husband. He made reference to it at one point, that the guy was still "floatin around out there," but at no point did he say "You need to report your husband to the authorities NOW." So let's say this woman takes her kids and leaves the marriage successfully - great. Her ex-husband is still out there potentially preying on young people. WTF????

[@dachater1]

@@calisongbird yes that's true, but this woman is crumbling and John made the effort in this call to rescue her soul. Kudos to him!

[@lizvingert6442]

You are 100% correct.

[@CrystalBlanchard-f9r]

I feel like the woman has been through abusive situations. Maybe this was her crying out for help.

[@dogfan5994]

​@@calisongbirdI'm sure he had no choice to report him.

[@jenniferLemkeMomma]

As a child that was molested I can tell you it still effects me to this day and im married with four children. Please 🥺 stop 🛑 letting children be abused

[@k.s.k.7721]

Studies are showing that 18 year old girls who have sex under duress (even emotional pressure) as their first sexual experience have much higher rates of suicide, depression, heart disease, addiction, autoimmune diseases, etc. It changes a life FOREVER. Imagine how much more physical/mental/emotional damage is done with a younger child.

[@jenniferLemkeMomma]

@@k.s.k.7721 darlin that sounds absolutely correct. I worry still over what happened with my abusive controlling addict to porn loser ex husband exposed our daughters to porn because he was literally watching it in the same room 🤦🤷‍♀️🤢 just by turning the screen but he had headphones on and wasn't watching the girls like he's supposed to be doing and they literally caught him and one of the times that they caught him he braided her to the point that he made her feel like she is disgusting and that it was all her fault and so the first very sexual thing she's ever witnessed before was not regular porn it was a VIOLENT GANGBANG. so happy 😊 now with a good man that has stepped up to be their daddy from day one.

[@Xpens]

How was this girl in the vid abused? Assuming it was consensual?

[@hashtagmate]

I'm so, so sorry. Please know that there are so many people who care about protecting children and who would IMMEDIATELY call the police

[@colleenhollenbeck6929]

💯 agree I feel ur pain and healing ❤️‍🩹

[@mulderitsmee]

I have huge respect to John for calling her out for not reporting it. Someone had to say it

[@JC-kj1kx]

Everyone mentioned in this call (husband, church, therapist, and teacher caller) committed crimes covering up or not reporting this guy's molestation. I hope someone brings this to local authorities attention.

[@michaelbarker1860]

I looked it up and it seems as if he is covered under the Romeo and Juliet law in Florida. He committed no crime. So what are the authorities supposed to do?

[@JC-kj1kx]

@@michaelbarker1860 as an attorney that's a misreading of the law. That's a potential affirmative defense after charges have been made. Moreover, the age difference she gave of 15 to 22/23 falls outside that. Someone who is married and in power over a child doesn't win on Romeo and Juliet affirmative defense. That's for high school kids that are in different classes.

[@michaelbarker1860]

@@JC-kj1kx She said either 15/16 or 16/17. The 16/17 would, indeed, fall into that. The R/J law is for high school kids? 23 year old high school kids? I agree with the "in power" part if it was a teacher/student relationship, but I didn't hear what his position with the church was.

[@JC-kj1kx]

@@michaelbarker1860 again it really doesn't apply here and it's an affirmative defense I.e. it's something you have to prove as a defendant not law enforcement. The local authorities can't ignore such an offense without an investigation just because two people fall into the age range. It wouldn't matter what his official position for statutory rape of a minor. Everyone here hide a child molester.

[@sueblack5794]

Welcome to how religion covers up for its own and then just passes them on to the next church /victims. John is 100% right there are more victims.

[@TheAgentmigs]

Her not thinking it's an issue until her OWN daughter became the age of one of his victims is pure hypocrisy.

[@joannahepworth2230]

Right ? He probably already is molesting the daughter as well.

[@dewilew2137]

It really isn’t. Especially considering her religious upbringing, and the fact that she was assaulted herself. Many people don’t come to terms with their own abuse until they have a child that starts to approach the age they were when it happened to them. This woman is more of a victim than the commenters are willing to acknowledge.

[@juliarussellkautt4748]

So many of these comments criticizing the wife reveal that you don’t understand the dynamics of spousal abuse. The wife is as much a victim as the teen girl. Her husband groomed her. He has gaslighted her into believing it’s wrong for her to betray him. I guarantee that creep knew exactly how to talk to her and treat her so she’d stay loyal. It messes with your mind. She sounds like a sweet, loyal person. She does not need to be thrashed - she needs compassion and guidance to help her understand that she also is suffering sexual abuse and to understand she’s married to a criminal and needs to call it what it is and GET OUT and away. People need to get educated about the way sexual predators and narcissistic sociopaths operate. I’ll say it again, the wife IS ALSO A VICTIM.

[@kellharris2491]

@@juliarussellkautt4748 she maybe a victim but she is not as much a victim as th 15 year old.

[@willytodd2750]

@@juliarussellkautt4748 She's also a criminal for covering up a crime. You can be the victim of something and also a perpetrator, that would be most sexual predators. Perhaps the husband was a victim of a crime in the past, why do you not dismiss everything he has done then?

[@lifehappensfast_21]

She should not get a pass for not reporting and keeping her kids exposed

[@VV-er3zg]

she literally only called to get advice on her marriage. like. lady. we cannot overlook the whole crime !!

[@Cometcast12]

You’re 100% correct. However, you have to consider the human psyche of the person being manipulated to believe even if he’s done these things, “But you know me, you know I’m not a bad guy.” “The situation is overblown” etc. type manipulation speeches from men who do these things. Plus her religion plays a role in warping her mind, denial plays a huge role as a survival mechanism, and she herself is a victim of SA… so many nuanced factors here taking place. The human brain does a lot of weird things to keep us feeling comfortable and safe with or without our permission, and if we’re lucky our moral convictions will override that stuff, like this woman’s (painfully slowly) gut and moral convictions eventually did

[@sookibeulah9331]

@@Cometcast12and she got involved with him after being raped. He was her rescuer, she couldn’t believe he was also an abuser She never saw the connection. John did.

[@TheChitowngirl23]

Did you listen to whole call, this women is also a victim?

[@racheltarentino3314]

​@TheChitowngirl23 yeah but that was a CHILD. Not another woman

[@thetravelingsparky]

His anger and rage towards the church failing its people, especially children, is much needed and a breath of fresh air! John is consistent everytime this type of call comes in. Call the police, fire the people involved and hold them accountable! Thank you for being an outlier and not a sheep. Too many people take the low road cause it easy. Not John. He is mad and telling you….amazing! Def the voice of reason and defense.

[@garylillich]

In one video, most comments said John was way, way off base. I agreed with most of them

[@lyssbeth]

She should be ashamed of herself just as much as the therapist and the church for not having reported him. She’s a mother and a teacher (a mandated reporter). Also calling it an affair? It’s RAPE not an affair.

[@willak79bud90]

@Kaylei Burke way to diagnose in KZbin comments. Did women just learn the word "narcissist"?

[@kfmarceau]

I would suggest she was scared to not be gas lit. These situations are crazy and scary, and I wouldn’t judge her for that

[@MaxSujyReact]

Typical cowardly victim blaming. She is a rape survivor who married an abuser. He selected her carefully like all abuser do.

[@GabrielXDrums]

@@willak79bud90 you sound like a pure misogynyst for that, how’s that?

[@willak79bud90]

@@GabrielXDrums did you just learn the term "misogynist"?

[@kathleencooney1518]

I just have a horrible feeling that she isn’t going to leave him. They’ve been married for over 16 years and he has full control over her. She went from rape to a guy she thought saved her. Turns out, he’s a criminal and a pervert. I pray she left but I just don’t think she is strong enough.

[@jazzycarlianna]

That and the fact that I'm sure her Church has made her believe she has to stay with him.

[@aarondavid5866]

to report her husband. from 2006 when he was young and a girl who was of consent.? are you fucking insane?

[@karo_lina2000]

​@@JackMason-oq8lf What would Jesus do? He certainly would not let a predator pray on children. I can not for the love of me understand how can you put an offender beyond the victim in a situation involving kids. I don't care, if he needs help mentally, he may receive it while being inprisoned. "Are you there full of judgement?" YES, yes you are, as you should, because you are not called to be blind to wrongdoings of others and God i hope, i HOPE people open their eyes and behave as they should in situations like this one, reporting predators and helping those innocent childern.

[@jauntycommander1065]

@@JackMason-oq8lfmy brother did this and I testified against him. I love my brother but I judge and condemn his actions. He is in prison and will remain there where he can not harm anyone else. You can love someone and still pass righteous judgment. He is a monster, so is my brother. I would take the stand again. There is NO excuse and I think you should get counseling and be looked into further because it seems like you identify with this sickness, get help and stay away from living things.

[@jauntycommander1065]

Hey guys I think this guy should be looked into. Internet warriors please do your thing. His comments are alarming . (Reviewed his recent comments)

[@michelleashton6712]

This lady is so checked out of her own life. Listening to this is insane.

[@ryancxe]

Yea, she sounds almost spaced out

[@Africa-ky1bg]

THIS is the result of her being violated. She is still numb ALL these years later. Not an excuse ...the truth. That is why abuse is SO DEVASTATING for your entire lifetime - it is a bomb going off in your life - you get triggered for the rest of your life. I wish she had gotten therapy in college & before she married this guy ...or much much earlier & turn this guy into authorities - especially with her being a teacher. This is such a sick situation this woman is living in. The best she can do is turn him in and protect her daughter's - she may go to jail too. She needs intensive therapy.

[@lmsteller9736]

Trauma creeps inside the brain and body (illness) if it’s not dealt with.

[@Peem_pom]

Yeah and she has deluded herself. But let's not forget the bigger issue here is husband dearest

[@ulhi7564]

​@@Peem_pom also would like to add that the continuing access the husband has to his own kids and kids at the church really means he is a threat right to the wellbeing of several kids right now, not eventually but right now

[@sharlize132]

She still needs to report him cuz he could get joint custody of those kids!! He could have access to those kids all alone!

[@heatherlowe7330]

The fact that she has known for YEARS and he works with kids! 😱🤢🤬

[@annaleese8866]

Exactly what I was thinking!

[@Cookieboy70]

I can tell John is holding back on going off on this woman. She is terrible for finding out and not saying or even doing anything different.

[@katrinna7311]

I can tell also. Any sane person would rip her a new one

[@brendamoon2660]

Hopefully John is going to call the police after the call.

[@Asha-ww9ct]

Agreed

[@animaluva098]

Way to easy on her, Dave shud have gotten this call, wud have lit her up!

[@jessicadominguez1315]

@@animaluva098 It would have been a mistake, shutting her down might make you feel good in the moment but it doesn't open her up to change and in fact would likely keep her with her husband in silence.

[@TisHotMessHistory]

It seems like this caller is WAY more concerned with what her financial situation is going to be as a divorced woman than she was concerned about any of her husband's victims. She has known what he has been doing for YEARS.

[@Ready-ForTheEnd]

I don't blame her. In a way she is a victim too and could very well end up homeless. It sucks but she has children to think about. I've seen it happen where women leave a man and they end up on the streets. Luckily she has a good brother though but who really wants to live at their brother's place especially if he has a family of his own. She really should have been preparing over the last few years financially and planning her escape.

[@LauraLParr]

DUDE THIS!

[@LauraLParr]

@E no he has been fired from other places for sure you’re absolutely correct

[@salma_Nella22]

@@Ready-ForTheEnd i cant see her as a victim for a few valid reasons. She knew this 5 years ago and her first question was “how do I trust my husband”, not “should I believe him”. She isn’t confused, she knows he’s a P.OS. and what she is doing is justifying his actions for selfish reasons. It was ALL on the table. He got fired many times for this. So many women choose men over children to avoid struggle, including my own mother. Not once did she even say she was scared of him. She’s not even worried about him touching their own daughter. There’s no excuse.

[@brendamoon2660]

And that's not even a valid excuse because he can't keep a job anyway

[@Shadowwind4]

This was absolutely insane. I am extremely impressed with Jon for not minimizing this even a little bit

[@calisongbird]

Except he did. He spent 99% of the call talking about her and her marriage and her feelings and her past.... and VERY LITTLE about all the CHILDREN who are STILL in danger of predation by her pedophile husband. He made reference to it at one point, that the guy was still "floatin around out there," but at no point did he say "You need to report your husband to the authorities NOW." So let's say this woman takes her kids and leaves the marriage successfully - great. Her ex-husband is still out there potentially preying on young people. WTF????

[@ellenjudge1611]

She's protecting herself. She would rather ignore it than turn her whole world upside down.

[@elettramia6380]

Well that’s pretty dumb because her life has already been turned upside down. She’s married to a p3do, it doesn’t get worse than that

[@zaheenwahid6904]

Not an excuse…she’s complicit to abuse

[@chaoswitch1974]

She's isn't doing a very good job of ignoring it now.

[@britniemonet_3693]

he’s definitely done things to their daughter

[@hellomrsjacobsen]

She seems to be realizing that he already turned her world upside down! Divorcing him will start to make things right way up. I hope she listens to the advice given. I am a church going person but this church she's in has seemed to make her feel like it's up to her to forgive and forget and she's struggling to follow that advice. There's hope she'll follow John's instead and I hope she leaves that church as well.

[@theydontknowmeson007]

Church staff: why are less and less people trusting taking kids to church? Calls like this:

[@starrjohnson1327]

Then don't send your children to school, don't let anyone babysit them, don't let your spouse bathe them...come on. Predators always look for prey...

[@kellharris2491]

@@starrjohnson1327 except some places screen people and other places don't. Some places are better than others.

[@LLopez-sx1jr]

@@kellharris2491 places that screen only catch the ones that have been reported....this guy would've gotten in to a place like that because of this list of people who never reported him.

[@morgand5004]

@@starrjohnson1327 hmm I’ve heard this argument before and use to agree, but the number don’t line up. Yes predators will always search for prey but they’re also opportunists. In a school there isn’t as much unregulated trust as there is in a church. As well as easier pathways for manipulation. You need to do this because god said is unarguable when you’re in the religious mindset, compared with a school that is a harder argument to make but it does still happen just not as much as it happen in religions. You don’t tell you’re teacher that you had sex with these people but you will tell a priest. There is nothing inappropriate because you aren’t speaking to a priest youre talking to god so it’s okay.

[@starrjohnson1327]

@@morgand5004 I work in a school. The things I see and hear would surprise you. Parents just have to be involved to keep their children safe. Predators are everywhere. No place is exempt

[@kyle52245]

speaking as a brother..... If you love and trust your brother, and he tells you a guy is creepy, TRUST HIM!

[@nicolejclarke]

I had an unwanted sexual encounter when I was 15 and he was 25. I went on with my life thinking that it was my fault and it would not ever be considered rape. I wonder if this girl is feeling the same way?

[@gilmendoza8092]

Wow I’m sorry you had to deal with something like that. I wish there was more light on this subject so victims know this is not ok,

[@LarennPBel]

Did he groom u? It is NOT UR FAULT, AND NEVER WILL BE……. U were a MINOR.

[@cathkyth]

Im so sorry, you were raped.

[@prudencek7087]

I'm wondering if anyone ever checked up on the girl/babysitter.🤦🏽‍♀️

[@Anya_life_subscribe]

Praying for you 🙏🏾 hope you are better it wasn’t your fault I promise 🤞🏾❤️

[@juliacarlstad4437]

Dr John needs to trace the call and get this criminal gets put in jail.

[@sravyabathula7144]

You know what, I wholeheartedly agree with this. Screw anonymity/privacy when someone admits to a crime/being complicit in a crime./covering up a crime/not reporting a crime as a mandated reporter on this channel. I wonder if there is any follow up on the caller by Dr. John and his team after calls like this.

[@rebeccagutierrez8170]

I didn't know there wasn't a statute of limitations! 😮 This is wonderful news.

[@MJBEANZ]

I'm fairly certain he will have continued this and made sure that it is reported.

[@welsh-3286]

couldnt the police pull the phone records from the phone company

[@eh1126]

Listening to this makes my blood boil. You can tell from her voice she’s not going to do anything. Yes, it sucks that she was abused but at some point you have to be an adult and protect the kids in the way you could not be protected. She only cares about this because it’s her own daughter.

[@lindap.p.1337]

She got so quiet. I think she is listening intently and I also feel she is ready to go. Her conscience is bothering her. She feels the pain. I think she may go. She has talked to her brother about it. Let’s hope for the best.

[@DrHellcat]

​@@lindap.p.1337 she's definitely not going anywhere. At all.

[@Sunrise-fr9jb]

@@DrHellcatshe called John. I think she is going to take action. Everyone on here always does worse case senario for the caller

[@amy2561]

Agreed. I think she is going to turn a blind eye like she has. Makes me sick. Wonder how she’d feel if her daughter was the victim. I want to vomit after listening to this call. Vomit.

[@JR-wu8gf]

This is exactly why religion is dying. This destroys the credibility of a church completely. There are too many in that church that know about this and no one is doing anything

[@maam-yj8ph]

Amen to this comment. 1000%. I would go so far to say this is exactly why we can't have nice things like a morally upright society because we're all encouraged to be sneaky, cowardly hypocrites. Don't ask, don't tell.

[@Vincenza8907]

At least the church fired him! What did you want them to do?

[@sitcomchristian6886]

@@Vincenza8907 Report and prosecute. Conservative, church attending Christian btw. Throw the whole book at this guy. The Ravi Zacharias foundation handled it well, for example.

[@ashtonstout7375]

@@Vincenza8907The church fired him because of staffing cuts, not because he raped a 16 year old girl.

[@mimiluau]

@@Vincenza8907they didn’t fire him because of this, she said so.

[@bibifrancis758]

This is triggering.. I was sexually assaulted as a minor by a church minister. Then fast forward my ex husband was accused of sexually assaulting a minor(inappropriately touching) and I defended him, thinking he would never do that, I would talk to him about it and I would be the bad person for thinking he could do such a thing,UNTIL, he assaulted my SISTER! Sis u need to leave him now protect ur children, protect urself!!! Leaving wasn’t easy, I moved to a different country, moved back in with my parents this time with children and started all over again. It’s okay to start over again🥰 I resonate so much with Sara!

[@Zen-xn8gk]

You are so brave!

[@JennieC21]

I was SA’d at age 5/6 then again at age 12. I was an anxious wreck, struggled with depression, confidence and trust issues for many many years (40 years!) When my daughter was around age 5/6 I can remember the utter fear and panic attacks I had seeing my tiny girl and how sweet and little and innocent she was and I was a complete wreck!!! As Dr John would say I “put a pin on that age” uugghh the fear of someone touching her or even looking at her that way was utterly terrifying 😨😭

[@BenandHannah_]

Oh my God I am so sorry. I read accounts like this and I look at my toddlers and I grieve.

[@JennieC21]

@ Besides the fear and anxiety, for me it’s the sadness. I used to grieve for the little girl that grew up scared and fearful, because I’d been threatened by him if I ever told anyone. I was very shy and timid, a huge ball of anxiety and used to just stay quiet and introverted. Seeing my own children at the ages I was SA’d and their innocence, made me realise how little and innocent I was at the time I was ab*sed. I had to eventually learn to grieve my own childhood and I had made it my mission to make sure my children lived the life I wished I’d had, without fear and anxiety and ALWAYS looked out for signs if they had something heavy weighing on them. Too many children in this world are being abused in one way or another, I’m just so grateful the lessons I learned helped me raise 2 amazing children, rather than kids with trauma or issues because of a parent with trauma issues 🤍 Ughhh… it’s been exhausting I know that, I’m exhausted 😔

[@lavienestpasunlongfleuvetr2559]

This woman needs to report her husband, divorce him and then make sure he never gets unsupervised access to their daughter.

[@sheila3936]

Any of their children.

[@michellesimmons3150]

He has probably already molested her. Mom is in full denial and even protects him knowing what he has done. She is more concerned about her marriage than her children’s safety.

[@BAKER22-l4u]

RIDICULOUS

[@Smolpantherbeby]

No she needs to be in JAIL too

[@happycook6737]

Ban husband's unsupervised visits with male AND female children!

[@haleytruslow7200]

I doubt it’s an actual therapist, it’s a church counselor. And we all know how churches love to cover up sex crimes, especially those committed against children 🙃

[@sheila3936]

I was thinking the same thing. A lot of church counselors have no professional training either, they just recommend more prayer.

[@brendamoon2660]

That could be but there are some hack psychiatrists out there with messed up beliefs. I would not be shocked to hear a secular counselor behaved the way she described

[@hansonallie]

Was also thinking that the caller is likely a “church school” teacher which may get her around that pesky mandatory reporter thing… grr…

[@heatherncasey2004]

Yes! Exactly why we don’t go to church. Too many creepers and perverts.

[@claytonmarkin7863]

People only want to talk about sex crimes in churches, but it's a problem in literally every institution we have. Public schools have more sexual abuse than churches, both net and per Capita. The military has a sexual abuse problem, police departments, retail businesses, the boy scouts, entertainment, foster care. Anywhere there are kids there will be predators looking for them. The church is far from exempt in their coverups, but it's literally everywhere.

[@Olacoker]

Wow these women will do anything to keep a husband. She was willing to let all the kids around her suffer (including her daughter) so she could have a husband.

[@coconutwater4531]

Exactly, it’s so sad. They will marry any man for the hollow status of “wife”. Those kids deserve better than these parents. She chose to have two more children with him after learning he was a pedophile. Disgusting.

[@lavienestpasunlongfleuvetr2559]

Did you listen to the entire call? She was raped by a colleague not long before meeting and marrying her husband. She met him when traumatised - of course her 'picker' was off. She's probably never dealt with that trauma and has instead learnt to minimise everything and kid herself it's all ok.

[@Rubycella]

Ridiculous

[@coconutwater4531]

@@lavienestpasunlongfleuvetr2559 that doesn’t excuse her bringing multiple children into this unsafe situation with a pedophilr. They are the victims here. Dealing with her trauma is her responsibility. Instead she put off healing for 20 years while her defenseless children have to deal with her husband.

[@mizzmolly7649]

It wasn't to keep a husband, but to stay on the same socioeconomic level. I grew up with a father who was verbally, emotionally, financially and sometimes physically abusive. When I was about 14 years old, I asked my mom why she wouldn't just get a divorce. She answered, "I'm not living in the poor house." My father is now 90, and my parents are still married, living in the upscale suburbs. I haven't spoken to him in about 35 years, after he pushed my mom up against a wall and gave her a concussion.

[@rchhtt5210]

I have sympathy for this women’s trauma, and at the same time she does hold accountability for staying silent. This is how cycles of abuse repeat over and over again. She has to break the cycle and take a step forward to protect herself, her kids, and speak the truth of what’s been kept in the dark.

[@Loakley1998]

Well said. I agree

[@LolaDelMarCaribe]

Honey your husband did not have an affair with a minor, he abused a minor. You were able to ignore this fact until you felt YOUR daughter was at the age were you felt uncomfortable.

[@mistakook1616]

did you ask the teenage young woman was she abused or are you just putting words in her mouth speaking for her?

[@digitalfunnies]

@@mistakook1616 bro you’re a predator

[@BAKER22-l4u]

RIDICULOUS. You DON'T know her

[@KhallelaB.]

Are people really chastising you for calling this what it is? This is abuse period.

[@strnglhld]

Look at the pervs exposing themselves in the replies. Lmao.

[@amde8554]

An affair implies both parties are capable of consent

[@karenjones8713]

I agree. It wasn't an affair!!!

[@robertpeterson7496]

The age of consent in Georgia is 16. Just something to consider given it’s reasonable to be written into law in the US. This really isn’t as big a deal as y’all are making it out to be

[@ladydatura2529]

@ROBERT PETERSON actually it is a big deal. I was a girl whose teacher tried to get with me at 17. He did it because he knew I was in a bad spot with no support and he could manipulate me with some support and try to get what he wanted. I only came out about this recently because I had been raised to believe I wasn't worth much and I parented my parent when I was a child so I also felt like an adult early. Human brains don't finish developing until age 27. You dont have a shot at fully understanding situations and consequences until you are fully developed. This "husband" had the responsibility to protect that young girl and not sleep with her. She likely had trauma to cause her to be okay with his behavior, similar to myself. Now that I understand all this, fk him and fk this guy. Now I'm healing, strong and have self worth and I hope that young lady does now too.

[@amde8554]

@@ladydatura2529 thank you for sharing your story and I’m sorry you went through that. You’re exactly right; many adults are in positions of power like teachers and that changes the dynamic tremendously

[@JackMason-oq8lf]

An "affair" is a more polite way of categorizing the situation than yelling and screaming. People hear daily for years about what an incredible monster we have in Don the Con. I mean, he's obviously a bad person, a criminal, a danger to mankind. And yet all you churchgoers look the other way so you can love him all the more. Sick society. But forgiving, right. Now here's a situation that you know nothing about, it's only hear-say, an opinion of one of the participants who may not be impartial or even wise to her family's situation. Yet, you rush in and condemn her relationship with someone you don't like. You don't even know this fella. Maybe he's not as guilty of crime as this caller says. Just saying. You don't have the full story or the complete story. But you sure got that condemnation down pat. Good Christians, aren't you. Why not set the guy on fire. Lots of women scream rape and send men to prison for years, and she's lying. No one wants to hear the mans side. He's bad and she's a princess. This lady may need to support her husband, for better or worse. Maybe he needs attention, maybe he needs to know someone still thinks good of him. Maybe she can encourage him to seek professional help. He's in a bad place. Maybe he can be helped with his sickness. Maybe she believes he can be helped. Yet all you jesus-ites out there know better. Jesus would just hate this man and banish him from the kingdom immediately. Jesus doesn't like sinners.

[@Steeltoeguy]

Thank you Doctor John for having zero tolerance for this situation.

[@happy.heather]

the fact that she didn’t report this??? she should be filled with guilt for the rest of her life, she is also AWFUL

[@hamfox9714]

That is not an affair!! It’s called stuatory rape! At this point the caller is bordering on complicity. The therapist needs to lose their license at best, jail time if possible. Her allowing this to happen without calling the authorities is unconscionable. How many other children have been put at risk because of the lack of action on her part, not to mention putting her own daughter at risk. I am sickened. All it takes for evil to prosper is for good people to do nothing. She is helping evil prosper. One question, Mr Deloney aren’t you required to report this? If so please do so immediately.

[@texasgoddess323]

The wife is required to report!

[@BlueEyedSkinner]

There was a call awhile back that he updated on, and said that they (the show) had also called and reported it. So I'd feel pretty confident that he's doing that with this one.

[@michaelbarker1860]

I looked it up and it seems as if he is covered under the Romeo and Juliet law in Florida. He committed no crime. So what are the authorities supposed to do?

[@JR-wu8gf]

@@michaelbarker1860 why do you keep posting this knowing this defense would never work 😂 A adult in a position of power cannot use the Romeo and Juliet defense 😂

[@sueblack5794]

@@michaelbarker1860 Why do you keep trying to cover for this man? It needs to be reported, period non-stop. It is especially important for the therapist and church to report and then let the law/courts make the decision but it still should be reported. She was 15 years old!!!!!!!! He was then fired for other sexual allegations and 100% bet there are others or he has at least attempted it. It needs to be reported regardless of the law. Churches have that responsibility and so does the wife.

[@tammybrown5983]

John did an amazing job with this one.. and with himself reeling in the anger he had at everyone aware of this situation. This most certainly wasn't an affair... This was rape and every adult with knowledge failed in this instance.

[@sueblack5794]

He really is a great psychologist and have learned a lot from him.

[@semosancus5506]

I'm not sure it is rape. She may have been willing and said "yes". Not sure what state they are in to look up the statutory rape definition. But still, it is wildly inappropriate. The guy is a loser with no character and works at churches to try to garner some credibility. Edit: I looked it up (Florida) - it's not statutory. So it is likely not a crime and probably why it wasn't reported.

[@thorneto2742]

@@semosancus5506 It may not have been rape legally, but it was absolutely rape. Kid that age cant say yes to someone that age without extreme bias.

[@semosancus5506]

@@thorneto2742 Let's not redefine words. Rape has a legal definition agreed upon by the legislative process. Setting that aside, if you believe a 16-17 year old girl can't encourage stupid behavior from a 23 year old (still a young man), then I would say you have not talked to enough people of this age and watched how many of them operate.

[@mistakook1616]

yall love using that word rape in vain. rape is forceful sex. dimwit.

[@tanyapeterson3940]

That’s not an affair that’s a felony

[@Arose888]

Not saying it’s right but he said she’s from Pensacola…”In Florida, the age of consent is 18, but there are some exceptions. Florida Statute 794.05, also known as the "Romeo and Juliet" law, allows 16 and 17 year olds to legally consent to sexual activity with people who are 16-23 years old. This creates a legal "safe zone" for people who are close in age but may be on the line between being a minor and an adult.”

[@jennprescott2757]

Right. It’s not moral but it could be legal. She should absolutely leave him and the church should absolutely fire him. But he might not be in trouble with the law.

[@momjeansasmr]

This is the type of story that should be viral. Hold this man and these churches accountable.

[@oddface5000]

I was thinking the exact thing!

[@JordanEvansMusic]

Yeah the way people dance around these issues “husband had an affair with a minor” is actually a grown man raped a child. It’s so scary that this stuff is prevalent in the church. And it’s because these types of people will get church jobs because it puts them near children. I bet this has happened many times with him or he’s at least tried to groom children

[@SarahR2D2]

Parents are actually so trusting of everyone with their children

[@sueblack5794]

@@SarahR2D2 I'm so glad my parents were hyper-protective of us kids being us around people unless they were vetted. Hated it a the time but now I see it as one of the greatest blessings they gave me.

[@DBest-pk2tr]

This woman probably didn't tell a lot of what she knows and the husband has likely committed . more crime than she is even aware of

[@sehoujay]

A child? The girl in question was 16 or 17 years old. She was ALL WOMAN!

[@jordanferguson2254]

I remember being in high school. 16/17/18 year olds are not "women" at all. They're no where near maturity, lack life experience, most are codependent and easily coerced and manipulated. Grown men have no business with much younger females. Period.

[@anneshirley9560]

Ohhh, no wonder why she minimizes the other little girl that her husband preyed on. If she can't even admit that what happened to her was rape, then how can she say it about the other girl?

[@elizabethshannon1583]

That was my thought exactly when she couldn’t call it what it was

[@ryna03]

Right. I've been assaulted twice. Once in college and once a year afterwards. I college I was drinking (yes, underage as we all were), tried weed for the first time and all I remember is waking up to the Doors song "Riders on the Storm" as the rain was hitting a guy friend's window in his. dorm. I did not remember anything except being at a party. I had to ask him if we had sex. Oddly he seemed unbothered saying yes. When I freaked out, he was upset about my response. It's one of those situations where I couldn't have given consent because to this day it is a blank and I had to have been "gone" . Maybe someone at the frat house roofied me and if so, maybe this guy "friend" wasn't aware because he was drinking too. I never reported it. I know I was so upset and I think, but can't say for sure (decades ago) if he begged me not to call the police. Honestly, in that case because he was probably drunk too, I have a hard time admitting, or thinking it was rape. The other situation was drinking again, underage with co-workers who were of age. I do remember being assaulted, in my own car, with those "friends" laughing and watching. The next morning when I drove home to my parents I don't remember anything until I "woke up" as I pulled into the driveway. I was still completely "drunk" or drugged the next day. I feel like I had a bubble of protection around me to get me home without an accident and not being cognizant of driving. I had suspicions they laced the joint they gave me. Both situations were with "friends". I guess I am spared the trauma of the assaults by either having zero memory, or being so out of it I couldn't really think or feel. Not that I remember anyway. Something has protected me from that. Do you see though? Even if I were to use the word "rape", I can't truly feel it or believe it. Of course I have felt guilty because I was drinking. But others drink too. I was a goody-two-shoes all through 18 years. No drinking, smoking, drugs, rebellion. College was such a drastic change. I had people egging me on to do these things. I did it, it was my choice. As a female we've been led forever to believe being assaulted was something we are at fault with because we put ourselves in harms way. Actually heard that from a police officer in Scouts. If she dressed this way she's asking for it. I wasn't dressed like anything enticing at all. It was the grunge era. Anyway, that was a long comment. Females have been taught to accept attentions wanted or not. I wish I had known about the wolves out there. I was really trusting and sheltered.

[@Em-pe8tj]

My family literally stopped going to church because of staff turning a blind eye to predators on staff.

[@sitcomchristian6886]

Did they attempt to report/prosecute?

[@norasanchez2348]

@Em-pe8tj why did YOU run away, why didn't you stick around and clean that hell of a dirty place. You should have been the Change, The difference for some child and you should have made yourself more like Jesus and done something. You are now living with the possibility that some child is going to be badly hurt. Shame on you, I too was a child of such filth, and I was damaged bc there was NO strong adult willing to do something and I suffered and so will many others 😢sad that adults are such cowards.

[@blackosprey2219]

​@@norasanchez2348You can send the law after those monsters without exposing your own children to their filthy claws.

[@icecreamadventure]

@@norasanchez2348hey sorry that happened to you but yea if the leadership turns a blind eye you go elsewhere. This is exactly why I left my last church. There’s nothing we can do if staff doesn’t do anything and blames the victim rather than hold creepy men accountable

[@JDoe001]

“My tolerance is less than zero” ….you just gained several hundreds of my respect points, sir!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@crackerjack010101]

As a teacher SHE is a mandated reporter!!

[@mercedezp.6289]

This triggers my PTSD. It's absolutely disgusting behavior. I wish adults would protect children from perverted men AND women. I have a 3 yo daughter and it's scary as hell.

[@sueblack5794]

I can't believe women/men use online dating, meet total strangers and then bring those people into their kids lives. Total strangers. people all the time invite strangers and people into their kid's life without even thinking about it and totally trust other adults over the safety of their kids.

[@MaxSujyReact]

Easy for you to say. The caller is a rape survivor with a life long of trauma, you would know that if you had watch the full video.

[@sueblack5794]

@@MaxSujyReact SO you are saying because of the trauma she has no duty ever to report other sexual offenses? You are exactly like the people in this call you said nothing and passed the offender off to offend again. It should and needs to be reported, regardless of her past.

[@MaxSujyReact]

@@sueblack5794 No, I am saying that people like you are quick to pull the trigger because they lack common sense and rationality. Each call is a case by case analysis, but for people like you who react first, think later, it's always so easy to throw stones after listening to a few minutes of a call. Understanding human behavior is something that is impossible to learn for people who lack empathy and view everything from their own personal point of view. It's only when you stop with the "me me me", "I am angry!" and take a deep breathe, that you can be objective. The fact is ofc she should report, just like if your husband beat you up you should leave, but a lot don't. You are doing the same victim blaming as people who blame domestic victim women for not leaving their abusing husband. "It's so easy, just leave!". Yeah, right. No it's not. There is a massive power dynamic in the relationship. She got choose by this abusive man because he perceived her as weak due to her past. This is what abuser, psychopath and narcissist do when they choose a wife. You have it figured out? Good for you. Life doesn't resolve around you.

[@sueblack5794]

@@MaxSujyReact All of that to be said, and you are a person who would not report in your church, a grown adult having sex with 16-year-old teen. While he was on staff. Sick stuff and people like you are why men like this keep repeating their perversion and creating more victims.

[@delulu.land.]

I'm starting to question HER character 👁️👄👁️ She's had MANY chances to report him and also the church and, while she was explaining the situation she didn't seem to see that young girl as a 'victim'... Edit: SHES A FREAKING TEACHER??? wtF. The adults In this situation are awful!!! You are supposed to be able to trust church leaders and teachers. I'm so upset 😤

[@gramajan4]

How does she know he’s not molesting their daughter???!!!!! Oh my gosh, report him, file charges against him, he belongs in jail YEARS ago!!!! My head is EXPLODING!!!!!

[@alyssajchase]

Like others have said - this isn’t an affair, it’s statutory rape & I think because she looked at it as an affair, it didn’t sink in until their daughter became the same age … children can’t consent.

[@allthatsheiz]

I don’t know if this counts as statutory. She was 16 and he was over 21 (23 if I heard right). I think there is a 3-4 year buffer. This doesn’t work for me. I think this is just molestation

[@LorelleJustice]

Ain’t no 16 year old is a child

[@lilmakori]

I have no sympathy for this woman. He told her about this years ago and didn’t report it to the police. I can’t for the life of me understand how she want to stay married to a monster like this. He’s disgusting and I hope he goes to prison, but she’s guilty too.

[@MaxSujyReact]

Easy for you to say. The caller is a rape survivor with a life long of trauma, you would know that if you had watch the full video.

[@lilmakori]

@@MaxSujyReact I watched the whole video and I stand by what I said

[@christinemv9542]

She is only contemplating divorce because the husband lost his job. She is using the rape which she herself calls an affair, which has known for over 5 years as the reason. Before the job loss, she didn't care enough, was no horrified enough. Did she say she is a teacher ..disgusting.

[@ho100cabl]

you didn't listen, that she was also raped??? a raped, it mess up your way to look at this situations

[@Joel-pg4yi]

And somehow then you adult you not monster

[@dreygurl91]

Thank you for having no tolerance for child abuse!

[@beekeeper2036]

This woman is complicit in the predatory sexual abuse of a minor child unless she reports this. As a teacher she is a mandated reporter, as is her "therapist". Repost him. Leave him. Divirce him. ND NEVER ALLOW HIM TO BE ALONE WITH CHILDREN IN ANY CAPACITY.

[@lav7161]

She sounds like she's used to covering up for him all the time. The way she sighs after every question when she's about to answer tells me she hates telling the truth about him.

[@whitneyfenton6762]

You need to change the title of this. An affair requires two consenting adults.

[@Xpens]

How do you know if they consented or not?

[@nu_fitness]

Thank you

[@michealgatling]

@@Xpenswhat??

[@alex7171]

Well, two consenting people over the age of consent. Which is only 16 in the largest number of states.

[@ulhi7564]

​@@alex7171 she was in his care through the church and a minor, her consent even if it would have been enthusiastic was not even an option because she wasn't in a position where she could have denied it the way she could have with someone of the same age

[@jennywalker9572]

Dr John, I applaud how you handled this call. Thank you for not letting ANYONE off the hook, and that this woman has accountability to own as well. I really hope that the police were called after this call. I am so pleased you made it clear that you have less than zero tollerence for this subject.

[@SunnyDays09]

I dont think she's giving the whole story .... and I don't think she is willing to report him ... poor babes .. what a difficult place to be in

[@teddimcrae9963]

I dont feel bad for her at all. She has a child with a predator. At what point will she put her child first? What happens when their daughter brings her friends around? These ppl are sick.

[@zee-zm1io]

When he asked if their daughter is “his” daughter as well. I immediately thought, that’s never stopped any abuser

[@savvymegs675]

True story I was molested by man. I honestly thought his daughter would be safe but she wasn't. That's when I told.

[@GameTime-yj6qv]

I think he asked to clarify as she had said "my daughter" a couple of times. I also wondered if she was his daughter too. While you are right that incest happens, there's a higher probability that sexual abuse has happened between them if she wasn't his biological daughter.

[@carriebell3566]

Exactly

[@peacedove1182]

The therapist was evaluating is there is another parent in the dynamic.

[@allywolf9182]

​@@GameTime-yj6qvactually it makes zero difference l. You'd think it makes a difference but there is zero statistical correlation

[@TuBui2]

What's unbelievable is that she's a teacher. She doesn't feel that natural urge to protect kids? She's clearly book smart. She can't find a way to build a financial plan? She claims she's staying for the finances to protect her kids...but is she really? the facts above say the contrary. Maybe she just likes the affluent lifestyle and not having to worry about paying bills.

[@cutehumor]

Some of the dumbest people I met were teachers. I thought to myself the kids in their class are in deep crap

[@CRobinsonpk]

She never really dealt with her previous rape. He was her “savior” at that point but she never really resolved that trauma. Her being frozen comes from trauma and not because she’s illogical.

[@whitneyw.7919]

She's weak, which is what religion often requires of women

[@alladreamwedreamed]

Church counseling is not real counseling, they tell you not to get divorced and to just cover up unsavory situations like this. Caller is some weird combo of brainwashed and complicit, probably always has been, and can't imagine herself living by a different moral code. A woman of principle would already be long gone.

[@MaxSujyReact]

What's unbelievable is that you didn't listen to the video yet commented. She is a rape survivor who ended up married an abuser.

[@Myster-Man-Channel]

I was married to a man in my 1st marriage who was an addict and abusive. My dad gave me this same advice and when i finally got the courage to end that marriage he came to stay with me and my kids to keep us safe. My dad hasnt been a perfect dad, but I'll never forget when my dad was there and saved us.

[@TheOnlyGuitarFather]

Out of ALL the tv therapists John is the only one I feel is authentic. The epitome of what a good therapist should be.

[@RyH10]

I don't usually comment that often. But I'm still in shock from this. I think this is a great example of why a show like this is so imperative.

[@calisongbird]

Except that he spent 99% of the call talking about her and her marriage and her feelings and her past.... and VERY LITTLE about all the CHILDREN who are STILL in danger of predation by her pedophile husband. He made reference to it at one point, that the guy was still "floatin around out there," but at no point did he say "You need to report your husband to the authorities NOW." So let's say this woman takes her kids and leaves the marriage successfully - great. Her ex-husband is still out there potentially preying on young people. WTF????

[@cjwsk12]

I normally don't leave comments but this one was disturbing. I'm glad John didn't back down or soften the situation. The lady knew for a while and didn't say anything. Her therapist didn't do anything. She didn't seem that concerned about her husband needing to face consequences for raping a child. It almost seemed too casual. Super weird..

[@michaelbarker1860]

I looked it up and it seems as if he is covered under the Romeo and Juliet law in Florida. He committed no crime. So what are the authorities supposed to do? Her therapist didn't report it, because it's legal in that state.

[@catspajamas2961]

@@michaelbarker1860 When I looked it up it said the R&J exemption in Florida applies if the two are no more than 4 years, as in 365x4 days, apart in age. If she was 15, 16 or 17 as the caller suggested, and he was 23, (edit) R&J does not apply. Whether or not it was statutory rape depends on exactly how old the baby sitter was, and exactly how old the husband was, at the time of them having sex.

[@michaelbarker1860]

@@catspajamas2961 I saw that too, but then what's the point of 23? That would put the other party at 19...which is legal. So there's something else going on there.

[@SageRosemary]

I'm glad John called him a predator and criminal.

[@catspajamas2961]

​@@michaelbarker1860 Okay I looked again. In Florida the Romeo and Juliet (up to 365*4 days age difference) exemption, where the younger person is 14-17 and the older person is a legal adult, only allows the older of the two to petition the court to not be a registered sex offender. It does not exonerate that person, the older person still committed a crime and can still be convicted of statutory rape. R&J applies to having sex, sexting, etc. Since the two here were 7-8 years apart, R&J does not apply at all. BUT As for having sex, for a 16 or 17 year old person, the other person can be 16 to 23, and there is no crime. This is not the R&J exemption. So in the callers situation, it apparently very much matters whether the baby sitter was 15 or 16 at the beginning of the husband's and baby sitter's sexual behavior. The husband would have to have been 23 or younger (down to 16 technically) with the baby sitter never younger than 16 while it was going on, for there to have been no crime. No statute of limitations on sex crimes in Florida. Moses Rooth law firm for most of the above. I'm not a lawyer.

[@ethanesslinger9805]

I can tell this woman isn't gonna do a FUCKING THING, and in my mind she's just as guilty for this.

[@kiki11974]

Nope. Not a single thing yet calling in like she wants advice 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@Poopiepies]

As a mandatory reporter at that. Compliance in the face of abuse is abuse in itself.

[@heatherlowe7330]

This! It's been years! How many victims have had to suffer because she chose to be silent?! Her own kids are in danger ffs!

[@janellewallis4343]

So this now means that John can report him right?

[@thorneto2742]

I am absolutely furious listening to this call. That man, that pastor and his wife, and that therapist all deserve to be in jail.

[@Cookieboy70]

I get the feeling she lied about the therapist actually being made aware of it.

[@karenjones8713]

I am also furious at the caller AND her rapist husband!

[@thorneto2742]

@@Cookieboy70 I suppose its not that unlikely that they severely minimized what actually happened to protect themselves so thats a good point.

[@vesselfit2use]

So does the caller who is a teacher and has a pedophile for a husband.

[@alwayswondering127]

@@Cookieboy70 either that or the therapist is actually a church councillor so it wouldn’t be a surprise if the authorities weren’t informed.

[@jasonbornne7767]

Well well well. A minister involved with minors. The husband failed, the caller failed, the counselor failed, and the church failed.

[@Xpens]

You failed too bud... Sad world we live in today with all this powered misinformation

[@theundone777]

Oh no, they didn't fail. They succeeded at their mission to protect men and support men. The vast majority of churches that I have seen are only interested in keeping the men in the church in power. Power over women, power over the local community, etc. They are not interested in protecting anyone else.

[@alex7171]

What's your point?

[@jasonbornne7767]

@@alex7171 Dissolve all churches????

[@ifinditinteresting.8709]

Whatever he said? ​@@alex7171

[@Arthurnate]

Why is it always a church. Parents, do not leave your kids unattended at church.

[@sidni.d5989]

Or just don't go to church.

[@JackMason-oq8lf]

Children, don't trust big people, especially moms and dads. Aunts and uncles. Don't trust religion or the people who get involved. Tell your friends if your parents try to have sex with you. Big people should have sex with people their age, not your age. Remember, you can leave there if it gets too weird. Call your grandmother. Otherwise, stick with your friends, they can be trusted to watch out for you.

[@davinasquirrel7672]

The 15/16yo was the babysitter. But sure, he was working for the church at that time.

[@pakilee87]

You've never heard stories of school teachers molesting their students. Especially the female ones have you?

[@blondegiraffe2023]

It's not always a church. Sometimes it's a school. It happens where people abuse their positions and it breaks my heart especially that it happens at all in a church where sin should be called out and not tolerated at all

[@sciencewithmrs.santiago6225]

Just found this show yesterday while on a cleaning spree, hence binging many episodes. I also watch a lot of true crime and have personally experienced these types of situations at the church I grew up in. This is THE most disturbing situation I’ve heard of and the wife’s complicity is horrifying.

[@Jcasilleri]

After she knew, she became as responsible as him is

[@mosttafazahid826]

She's not the one who did it. He is. The brain will bend backwards to protect itself from fully realizing how bad something is and that's probably what's going on with her. He's the one who did this so he's the one responsible. Not her.

[@Jcasilleri]

@@mosttafazahid826 I stand on what I said

[@mosttafazahid826]

@@Jcasilleri Wow I care so much 😱

[@Jcasilleri]

@@mosttafazahid826 you did enough to comment.

[@mosttafazahid826]

@@Jcasilleri I cared enough to correct you but if you wanna stay wrong that's none of my business

[@michaelpalumbo4880]

It's not an affair with a minor - it's rape.

[@mistakook1616]

stop using the word rape in vain. Rape is when someone forcefully has sex with someone against their will. Thats like a slap in the face to real rape victims. Anybody that calls consensual sex, rape should be shot in my opinion.

[@BAKER22-l4u]

It's BOTH

[@firefly9838]

@@michaelpalumbo4880the girl was 16 or 17 this women said. The age of consent is 16 or 17 in most states.... so what do you want?🤷🏻‍♂️ Also the statue of limitations have likely run its course from 2006.

[@calisongbird]

@@firefly9838 it's not "statue" of limitations.... it's "statute" of limitations.

[@ashleysalazar2012]

​@@firefly9838she's in Florida. Florida is 18. Also, the child was 15.

[@supremenz]

Its not an affair! This is the exact kind of woman who would have blamed the child saying she was at fault.

[@sistermadrigalmorning233]

She absolutely has. She's not reported it because she sees the victim as "the other woman" not a groomed child. It's only now that her daughter is the same age and she's like crap, she's still a child that she's having trouble with it. And still she started the call being like "how can I get past this" instead of '"how do I report this with the least damage to my life" which is the question she should have been asking.

[@dianeditonno3569]

​​​​@@sistermadrigalmorning233I think she has been gaslighted so much that she couldn't trust herself to come to a right conclusion, but she is now starting to see the light of day and needs someone to help her break free.

[@alex7171]

Well, he was cetainly unfaithful. But he may also have been a statutory rapist. And was clearly predatory.

[@Raven.13]

​@@dianeditonno3569bingo

[@adriangarcia1342]

John hit the nail on the head. These people knew he was a predator and said nothing. They enabled his behavior by tolerating it.

[@santino5873]

Jeeez, and whose to say there aren't other victims out there that haven't reported him. Guy needs to be in jail. Abusing and manipulating his position of power within a church.

[@reasonableperson8987]

I have a sinking feeling that she’s not going to do anything 😔

[@shaunkey9374]

She needs to report him. He needs to be in prison.

[@racheld7528]

The house is destroyed, but the house that can be built after something like this can be better, safer and more beautiful than she ever expected. I’ve watched my friends after divorce and life is not easy. Many have found a new partner and they are quite happy! I am happy for them! But the one who is walked all over by her ex…she is the one who struggles the most and I hate that for her. But I’ve also watched her let it happen for 4 years. She needs to reset and find her worth in herself. No one can do it for her. She needs to rescue herself! ❤

[@maureenrobertshaw7375]

Please, please report this therapist! That person has NO business continuing to practice. Such a violation!

[@alwayswondering127]

I find this absolutely vile. From the get go this woman tries to make lesson the severity of the crime. How does she not know another young girl isn’t being raped? Because that’s what it is, it’s most certainly not an affair which by the way, children cannot participate in affairs.

[@michaelbarker1860]

I looked it up and it seems as if he is covered under the Romeo and Juliet law in Florida. So where is the crime he committed?

[@alwayswondering127]

@@michaelbarker1860 not necessarily. It says someone older than 18 but younger than 24 MAY be protected. Also this is entirely dependant on the girls age. First op said 15 then 16 then 17. I believe she was most likely 15. Also just because there’s a Romeo and Juliet law doesn’t mean it protects people in a position of authority raping minors. So unless you have all the extra needed information I’ll stick to thinking he’s a dirty scumbag who should be jailed.

[@anneshirley9560]

@@michaelbarker1860 you must be the husband. 🤣

[@michaelbarker1860]

@@anneshirley9560 No, I'm just capable of separating my feelings from facts. Trying to figure out what actually happened from "I don't like that". You should try it.

[@mistakook1616]

your very evil for calling that rape

[@prudencek7087]

Uumm... has anyone, including the wife/caller checked on the girl, now grown woman, that he did this to? The church, the wife and whoever else knows about this is covering up for a predator. Who knows how this woman's life was harmed because of this man as she grew up? The fact that the caller only thought about it because their daughter is now this age, shows that she clearly needs a reality check as well. Ma'am... he did this to someone else's daughter and you knew this for years and did nothing.

[@monicapowers3208]

THANK YOU for speaking up for the victims!!!! And for verbally indicting the pastoral staff.

[@lydiaortiz7493]

This call is so hard to listen without feeling angry and frustrated with everyone involved

[@AccidentalHiker1]

Geez! She's a teacher also a mandated reporter.

[@haleytruslow7200]

Exactly!!

[@cutehumor]

She should be fired for being a failure to protect

[@freecountry3544]

She's a silly naive blossom. Very selfish. Very materialistic.

[@LisaLisaCJ]

@@freecountry3544 the church will do that to you

[@catspajamas2961]

He got fired for sending sexually related "emails" which he denied sending. I can imagine the content of those emails. She said this was before they had their first child which means it happened before the babysitter situation.

[@alladreamwedreamed]

And he gives the Shaggy defense- "it wasn't me!"

[@catspajamas2961]

@@alladreamwedreamed And apparently wasn't curious about who hacked his email with intent to sabotage him.

[@allthatsheiz]

She said that there was another church he was fired from too and I we didn’t even go over that.

[@TheAlixAmanda]

The fact that when he asked “what’s the hold up” she didn’t say I loved him, I just can’t believe he did this, I’m heartbroken like no it was finances ?? She’s protecting herself when she should protect her children and other potential victims! Craaaazy

[@natashabrooks4188]

You SHOULDN'T trust him!! He sat on it for 10 years. I'd have to leave this marriage. Just so many violations. Did he try anything with their daughter?! A part of you will probably never trust him fully and that makes being together difficult. Good luck whatever you choose

[@kschrop]

WOW! The balls on this woman to call in and admit this is mind boggling. I can promise you the cops are there as we speak. Throw the whole F'in circle in Jail!!!

[@cutehumor]

I'm sure they gave her phone number to the police in Pensacola

[@calibrial]

@@cutehumormaybe, but people use fake cities/names with these a lot. The show form actually suggests it.

[@animaluva098]

I hope shes reading these comments and see how disgusting she is/was. I hate how John not really letting her answer questions, especially on y she didn't report it!

[@BAKER22-l4u]

LMAO. The cops are there? Show us your PROOF

[@Cowboybrian01]

She’s a teacher and let this go… she’s just as morally culpable as he is.

[@lisaeaker9064]

This was a hard one my heart absolutely broke for this woman who's been abused in so many ways

[@staceyperigo7652]

OMG I am yelling at the television! This woman is insane for even questioning this. Take your kids and get the hell out!