He gave her a gift ONLY to Humiliate her | Shocking

[@narcabusecoach]

Link to my best resources for healing: linktr.ee/narcabusecoach

[@graceyoakum8863]

All I remember it my gifts being wrapped with so much duck tape. I always took time to make bows for all of them.Mine were so ugly.

[@sunshinedayz2172]

That's why I never accept gifts from narcissist.. There is always a fly in the ointment. A price to be paid.

[@zandatee]

how they react?

[@karenkennedy6331]

My husband gave me a gift he knew I would dislike! Loved to see me open it up and be upset and displeased. What kind of person does that! A narcissistic!

[@Fleurpetite]

I’m sorry- It’s horrible! Mine did the same on our last Christmas together! He gave me a religious statue from a different religion -not even a religion he embraces-knowing that I wouldn’t want it! Narcs are so unimaginative in their torment. They all seem to do the same nasty things!

[@undercoverbird8592]

My husband gave me an ugly huge black MENS watch from target for my birthday one year. I opened it and giggled and said “oh nice, I will save this for our son thanks!” The marriage was already dead at that point. We have been separated 3 years now. His mother came into town this September and had my daughter give me a gift from her. It was a bag of used makeup. 😂😂 the next time mother in law comes back I will have my daughter give her back that bag.

[@tinashipman]

My story. (1 of thousands of stories) My Narc mother-n-law of my Narc husband would give me Christmas clothes size small. Which I was before kidney failure and dialysis. The failure and treatments put 60lbs of fluid on me and i was now a size 1x or 2x around the tummy. They would both laugh as I opened the lovely gift, only to discover it was WAY too small to even go past my chest. They laughed as my face flamed red! Multiple years of this. I am recovered with a kidney transplant and have left my abusers. Healing as I go, after 19yrs of marriage....Thank you @narcabusecoach

[@HuHWhat-yi8cp]

Narc mistakes his own pettiness for power.

[@brandonmcheyenehoward1077]

My ex narc wife bought me a nespresso coffee machine because I loved coffee so much, and then set about berating me every time I even thought about having a cup 🙈😂 and that’s one of the nicer ones.

[@autumn7031]

"Leave more people, kill your voice, ask less questions"...right there. He also treated anything I gifted him as if it was nothing. Doesn't matter how much thought and money I put into it, it was always thrown on the floor, never worn, never used, ever. I bought him thoughtful fun things he was interested in, he loved it when he saw it, but then left them on the floor for years collecting dirt. When he disregarded such expensive and thoughtful gifts, it became indicative of his value and care of me. Zero. Interestingly enough, when his mom would find out what I was going to purchase, she would go out and buy the same thing (mind you she didn't celebrate Xmas or bdays) and gave it to him. He would use those, and return mine. Eventually, I returned myself to myself and gave him back to her because they were the ones behaving like husband and wife, so I gracefully returned him to his original address.

[@Fleezil2860]

Perfect ❤️😂😂

[@Fleezil2860]

Returned to his original address!!😂😂😂😂❤️❤️too much!!!!!

[@TurtelGammer]

Well done!🎉 Let God gives me the courage to do the same.

[@dakoderii4221]

He probably liked those gifts but prevented himself from enjoying them to teach you a lesson. The wisdom of narcs 🙃

[@tamimchoudhury4285]

😂😂

[@Brnojol364]

My ex husband often bought me items for the house yet, would give his mother personal and nice gifts. One year for Christmas I watched her open a beautiful clock and necklace while I opened a salad shooter. It was always an imbalance, it happened often. I was also a stay at home mother for a few years and always made sure he had a nice dinner and packed his lunch daily. In the beginning (love bombing phase) He would make over how good the meals were, even though I didn’t expect a lot of praise. However, this soon changed to him picking things out that I had packed, replacing or adding to what I had prepared. Same thing with laundry, I washed clothes for the family and he always had freshly clean and folded clothes, only to complain that I was somehow damaging or shrinking everything? I stopped packing the lunches and washing his clothes altogether after a few years. I look back now at how low I felt, as though I never measured up. So appreciate finding your channel.

[@undercoverbird8592]

One year I got an IRON for Mother’s Day! 😂 that I didn’t ask for. 😂😂❤

[@valerieparris3178]

Wearing you down making you too tired to fight against their will.

[@debprobst330]

Cruelty is their point

[@valcat1274]

100%!! Nothing makes them happier then spreading their "cheer".

[@tinashipman]

My story is the opposite. (1 of thousands of examples) My Narc mother-n-law of my Narc husband would give me Christmas clothes size small. Which I was before kidney failure and dialysis. The failure and treatments put 60lbs of fluid on me and i was now a size 1x or 2x around the tummy. They would both laugh as I opened the lovely gift, only to discover it was WAY too small to even go past my chest. They laughed as my face flamed red! Multiple years of this. I am recovered with a kidney transplant and have left my abusers. Healing as I go, after 19yrs of marriage....

[@MatrixofLife]

Oh dear, u deserve happiness! I hope u will have Happy New Year this year! ❤

[@Brnojol364]

I’m so sorry, that was utter cruelty. So glad you’re free of those awful beings.

[@tinashipman]

@@MatrixofLife thank you! I know it will be a peaceful, quiet New Years Eve. I'm doing well and learning to love myself...and enjoy my life💞 @narcabusecoach

[@tinashipman]

@@Brnojol364 at the time....I didn't understand why that was so funny. Thank God for other survivors and good counselors, like Danish Bashir, who help us make sense of it and survive...even thrive💯👊💯 I'm so happy to be free of that family

[@amandachilds5290]

I can relate. My mom used to buy me things way too big and then when I got big due to illness and traumatic injury she bought them too small. I couldn't tell if it was in purpose or what. These were gifts shed wrap for Christmas and bday but then randomly she'd be out and buy something that wouldn't fit her or was like $2 and they'd fit me so I was never sure but felt bad and tried hard to not let it get to me or wonder if it was to demoralize me. The constant guessing is part of the torture and getting you to gaslight yourself. Other things she did were obvious but this one will remain in the maybe column or intermittent column. My ex just wouldn't give me anything so that was less confusing🙄 well he gave me things that were for us both in ways but he just acted like I could buy what I wanted even though he knew I was clearance shopper and shared meals we had out with the kids and rarely would get things for myself that were expensive. My mom had seen to that. I also had, still have when depressed or inspired an issue of picking up things others didn't want or were throwing out...felt they weren't deserving of being seen as discarded trash...wonder where that feeling came from? 🤔🧐😞. I think a lot of victims do that and it overwhelms them and gets them labeled hoarders when they really aren't. They just hate to see potential wasted in people and in things that might make some people happy one day. I intend them to do good but get bigged down in day to day I never get to them is what I think and feel guilty. Narcs never feel guilty nor sentimental toward other people or their things because they lack empathy and compassion so it's easy to devalue. But that's just my opinion

[@MeCynthiaAnn]

I WOULD NOT Unscrew that gift

[@gregoryritchie7852]

My narcissist expected me to go for the breadcrumming - but literally panicked, terror, when he saw me secretly slip into a taxi and leave him behind FOREVER! Built up for a big let down. I'm still almost laughing hysterically for decades. He built a gallows to have me hanged on, only to find the noose on his own neck and hanged! Hoisted on his own pitard. . . and oh what a guilty pleasure I confess to be experiencing!

[@PandoraSpring]

Love this! Oh the shock on their faces when they realize we’re leaving and NEVER going back. Congratulations!

[@debbievoss3496]

Yep. They think you are a fool. Well, I'm NOT a fool.

[@HuHWhat-yi8cp]

The narc holds the deluded belief that his/her partner is a fool because then the narc can continue with his/her delusion of superiority. 🙃

[@Pucki2705]

Very good example and resume of the narcissistic behaviour. Breadcrumps and mean plays and jokes, always making fun of you, putting you down. They promise you the world and give nothing because all they say, they don't mean it seriously. I was four and a half years in this kind of relationship and it took me a lot of time to understand this. It's still difficult to understand how a person could be like that. But they can and they don't change. Just leave them as soon as you can!

[@justjen2591]

My ex husband, the narcissist, gave me the same fishing tackle 8 years in a row. Birthdays (late of course) and Christmas. The same pink fishing lure, over and over and over again. I gave him many nice and thoughtful gifts. It was never reciprocated.

[@M.STAR.MEDIA1]

My narcissist brother offered to help me financially. I'm going through a narcissistic divorce too. My brother yelled at me at the bank teller window for not being organized or telling him the "correct information " I called the leasing office to confirm and he still got mad at me in front of my kids and an entire bank. Then outside he lectured me for asking for money. I never asked for the help financially, he offered. Then he tells me that I need boundaries, and I stress him out and cause him such discomfort. I couldn't believe my eyes and ears. There's more that happened that involves my kids. I'm Grey rocking him so hard now!

[@tmstani23]

Yes they will often "help" you when you are down but only to control you and keep you down they will never actually help you get free or empower you to become independent or thriving because they will then feel jealous and envious and worry about losing control of you. They don't care about your happiness only keeping you as a slave or maintaining the image they have of you.

[@shereebarends1997]

This reminds me of the ex narc when he came back from his lover he brought me a bunch of flowers but never gave it to me.Next day when I got into the car I trampled into the flowers and spoilt the whole thing according to him.I never learnt how to play chess but he challenged me just to insult me on every move without actually sitting down to teach me the rules. The same happened when he taught me to drive. Every mistake I made he would blow up and we eventually both jumped out of the car and ran away on a dirt road.. This happened so often when I cleaned the house one day he jumped upon the dining table and danced on it mocking me like a child does. There are many examples but this comes to mind now.

[@BedouinBabeNomad]

I remember. Once in all our 15 years of marriage, my husband bought me a perfume. When I wore it he said, “Hum, I don’t like that. It smelled better in the store.”

[@acolley2891]

Sometimes it really does smell better in the store, but I'm sure that was just a common insult compared to other things you dealt with. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

[@undercoverbird8592]

@@acolley2891my ex husband used gifts to insult me. My boyfriend however will go and buy the perfume that I ASKED for. My BF is also not a narcissist. 😊❤

[@amazingjane2703]

Well, men shouldn't choose perfumes for women.

[@deborahp7500]

My narcissistic mother gave me a bottle of Poison perfume for my birthday - not ironically not as a joke but just made me unwrap it in front of the family to watch my reaction. I kept my best poker face on and eventually rewarded her with years of no contact.

[@raindrop1215]

There was a time when the dollar tree was selling these fruit flavored lotions and bath crystals and body butter and stuff. They had these cute fairies on the label and I just loved them. I bought a whole bunch of those products and put them in a basket for my sister for Christmas. I asked if she was using them and she said no because her husband didn't like the scent. He's never been known to dislike fruit scents before. I suspect that he might have been jealous that he didn't get that exact gift ( he likes things like that.) Or my sister might have been messing with me. Hard to say with those two. SMH.

[@undercoverbird8592]

Nope. I have worked so hard on healing. My self esteem is in tact. I don’t want anything from them. Not even a hello. ❤

[@acolley2891]

They will give you a gift that is their taste rather than yours, usually so they can use it. Or they will regift you something given to them or obtained for free and then call you too hard to please for not using/liking it. Even buy you clothes they know are too small to insult you.

[@undercoverbird8592]

Exactly. My ex mother in law recently gave me used makeup. (I refuse to see her since I left her narc son) I told my ex recently that I was very sick and had the kids bring me flowers and told them and myself that he bought me flowers. No he got them for free from his rich boss. 😂amazes me how he and his mom thinks I’m so stupid.

[@HuHWhat-yi8cp]

@@undercoverbird8592 Mail her a ratty huge old bra a half used bar of soap & throw in an empty bottle of deodorant ! Better still wrap it up & have the ex deliver it !!!!! 🚗🎁

[@maamaablaacksheep]

. . . . .or gift an item of their intent for you, with the disclaimer "because it was on sale."

[@HuHWhat-yi8cp]

@@maamaablaacksheep Or - narc receives a really nice gift & his eyes light up - he loves it ... then asks you "was it on sale?"

[@anajackson6677]

My parents take the cake. They tried to gift me my own shit after they stole it. A round trip plane ticket to Europe I paid for. Then they were asking me to do things before they'd give it back to me. Of course, they were keeping it safe and I was ungrateful. Unbelievable. But that's how terrible they are with gifts. If you give yourself something nice, they have to ruin it because they don't believe you deserve anything nice.

[@dianesolomons9113]

I wish i can get away from the narcissist i live with but although i have a job i cant afford to leave. I m Every day sad and keep on praying to be able to afford my own place. But i m stuck i dont earn enough as a nurse to leave. Im so very very sad every day. Thank you for you programme it means alot to me. Im stuck with them and every second of the day i pray for a miracle to go on my own.

[@mymai5859]

Yes- you need a place with housemates. Here in NZ we call living in a place (a flat) with others - Flatting or having Flatmates. Usually a 3+ bedroom place - you each have your own room but share common areas - kitchen, bathroom, lounge.

[@lanabrink707]

When you read these comments it is unbelievable how many Narc 's are around. I find it very scary. They also don't want to go for help. Although I think the success rate won't be high. I think the devil control them. It is a very evil thing. Thanks for the video's.

[@janedoe5229]

My sister had a rich, narcissistic boyfriend. Of course he convinced her to quit her job because "he would take care of her". Of course, he trapped her. He gave her a new car, he bought them a pair of motorcycles (his and hers), And he had a big boat and he bought her a small boat. But he refused to marry her. He didn't have any kids, and he put in the trust that everything goes to her, if she is still with him when he dies. He said, it was "just like" being married. She took care of his house, all this paperwork (she was an accountant), and completely took care of his dying mom. But he didn't appreciate it. She was a convenience to him, and he treated her badly. Well, finally, after many years, she got sick of the emotional abuse and she left. And it turned out that the car, the boat and the motorcycle were not in her name, though he said they were hers. He didn't give her a dime when she left. She was hoping to sell the big things to get money to get back on her feet with, but he would not let her have them. And since she had not worked in years, she could not get a job. And she had no savings since all the money was his. And in fact, when she tried to get her personal stuff, he hid some of it out of spite and would not let her take it. Since they were not married, she could not go to court and get any kind of compensation. There were no "palimony" laws. She was absolutely destitute with nothing, and she had to move in with me. (I was happy to see her leave that monster. No one in my family could stand him since he was such a butt. But we were all polite to him. When she left him she was shocked to find out that we all hated him the whole time. We didn't care one iota about his money.) We used to have Christmas at their house and she always did her best to make it as happy and Christmassy as possible, but whenever she would leave the room (to get the snacks or a present), he would say something hurtful and insulting to our family. It took me a while to figure out that he did this only when she left the room. She had no idea he was doing this best to sabotage her lovely Christmases.

[@jennyt5176]

I could not believe how much washing I had with all my children. Then one day I accidentally caught him throwing all the clothes of the shelves onto the floor. I was mortified. He said he was giving me something to do all day.

[@RoseRoseRoseRoseRoseRose]

First things first: My biggest respect 🙏for you is that you survived a life with many narcissistic people and, fortunately, you are still strong (hope it always stays like that 🙏) and a wonderful human being who despite all tries to help others in an authentic way. It's always a great gift to watch your precious videos, which create a good mood in me because I feel like I'm healing slowly but also for sure through your recommendable piece of work❣️👍❤️💖😊

[@barro3333]

Danish you are a blessing ❤

[@joanneleckey1810]

And so say all of us, thank you, thank you, thank you x

[@cindyc]

Found your channel a few weeks ago. You've been doing a great job of expressing the true cost of relationships involving narcissists.❤

[@summacumsoap8983]

This guy knows what he's talking about. Sadly from experience. Keep listening, you'll find that only those who go through it truly get it. Happy New Year 🎉

[@pineapplecrushme3216]

All of this is true. Years ago my husband invited me to his parents for dinner for my birthday. We had been separated for a few years but he knew I still loved him. He cooked for me together it was like we were never separated. I went back to the state I was living in and when I got the cold shoulder I was confused. He said he just wanted to see if he had any feelings for me but he didn't 😮😕

[@sunshinedayz2172]

You are still worthy of a loving human being. Just not him because is not worth your value..

[@darlenenorton793]

STAY NO CONTACT! CREATE a NEW healthy life for YOU and your children if you have any and if you are able... Praying for that for you! 💯🙏👆💖💪💥💫🌴🌈🌅🕊️💕🏖️

[@happyflower251]

My husband gave me an expensive engagement ring and then told me I was greedy and showy and should be more modest. I felt so awful we returned the ring.

[@wendyhannan2454]

I hope you returned and and replaced him. I saw the red flags and ignored them, big mistake. Good luck.

[@happyflower251]

I just divorced him after 18 years. I tried to divorce him after 5 years but he wanted to take our children. So I stayed to protect them.

[@n.n9035]

Similar things happen to me. They spoil u then say ur greedy to shame u! Shame on them.

[@n.n9035]

​@@happyflower251do you regret this decision, i am birthing number 5 soon, and ive wanted a divorce for like 2 yrs now, nearly 10 yrs now. People say stay for kids, but it affects the kids. He uses them against me so i can stay because i am from an overseas country and he wont allow them to leave. My initial solution was to have 5 kids and me in a separate house from him in this country.. i dont think i can stay until they are all married ,you are so strong!

[@Janetbringsawareness]

Sorry 😔 that is so sad 😢

[@primitivedogs4638]

We were robbed of all our gold during a burglary. Also our wedding rings. I received a large sum of insurance money, which my ex-husband asked for to put into the company (he had a huge need for money- I don't know where the money went). I got a crappy little ring as a gift on our wedding day, I saw the price, it was 1/40 of the insurance money! I never got a new wedding ring, we lived together for another 6 years. He liked his life without a ring on his finger!

[@bmdjk]

Guess he was the "robber"

[@brettt2000]

@@bmdjk I thought the same

[@leerobs1118]

Hi from South Africa 🇿🇦 I'm married to a narcissist for 26 years and for many I thought it was all me. But Jesus set me free 🎉 what you're talking about is so true and so on point. I had a standing joke to my husband... what do you want me to do, jog on the spot. But God works all thi gs for our good because I was lazy and now I can work hard and accomplish so much. Thanks for bringing this out, people need this information ❤

[@summacumsoap8983]

You just didn't know what you were dealing with. Very strong to survive 26 years!! Use that strength on yourself. You!!!!!!🎉

[@purvamandlik4696]

It's the reaction that the narc will play off of. That is what makes the victim control the expression of annoyance. At a certain point in my life with him, i started seeing the set up. And I would step away from the game, refuse to play it. Once he realised he is not getting supply from me, he turned his sadistic attention to our son.

[@MaryBlandford]

My Narcissist husband of 35 years gave me over the course of our marriage: 3 Kirby vacuums, a dog food dispenser, and a cheap blender. Many tines he "forgot" or didn't have time. I was a full time surgical RN, on call 3-4 days per week, and gave him everything he wanted. One day he told me he was being blackmailed for participating in making porn videos, then to telling he flipped 2 guys into becoming gay, molested his sister until he was 18, and was having a 16 year affair with my best friend who lives 5 houses down from me. He was tired of trying to make me figure it out. It took me a year to get the courage to file for divorce. I've been divorced 2 years now. It's much more peaceful, but lonely. I have grown kids & grandkids, but would like a healthy relationship with someone. While waiting for this, I've had 2 heart attacks, and can only work part time. I took social security at a reduced amount just to survive. I don't want to just survive, I want to thrive.

[@thecrazinessthatlives]

It wasn't until my recent breakout that it was pointed out to me that my ex lover was a Narcissist. I found your videos and began to put 2 + 2 together and realized that I've had a lot of narcissistic relationships but however my independent nature wouldn't allow me to stay with them too long. My last relationship told me to my face that he wanted me to depend on him. I just laughed and left. Thank you for sharing these information.

[@a.r.sharmavines939]

Are you GunGun?

[@thecrazinessthatlives]

@@a.r.sharmavines939 no lol

[@milhouse8166]

I'll tell you exactly why narcissistic do this: In the mind of a narcissist, doing nice things or giving nice gifts is seen as a form of pandering. Their thought process is completely negative. That's why they never give, they don't want to be seen as weak.

[@aga9618]

Ugh yes... It's insane that they think that

[@HuHWhat-yi8cp]

The narc is happy when You are sad !

[@AmericanDreamer]

wow....interesting comment @milhouse....makes me think about the whole RED PILL trend, that is blooming all over the globe, they actually really perpetuate this thought about how men should stop pandering to women, doing nice things for us etc,like they take monthly sub fee from men to ''teach'' men to ...basically fail in relationship...but they sell it as -men's improvement...In my opinion - they are grooming narcissists out of men, who might not be narcs to begin with..Definitely social engineer in project of global scale, is not just an annoying but innocent youtube trend.

[@anajackson6677]

They also don't want to see you getting gifts or gifting yourself anything nice. My parents stole my plane tickets to Europe and tried to gift them back to me but after I did XYZ. I didn't so they called me ungrateful. And do so to this day. The plane tickets were for my study abroad I always wanted them to let me do. Shame for furthering my education, who cares if I had 3.8GPA and was on scholarship.

[@karenkennedy6331]

So many narcissistic are hiding out in extreme religions, and use religion as harm.

[@milhouse8166]

Of course, they have zero shame

[@MeCynthiaAnn]

YES…..LIKE MY DAD who is a narcissist and a pastor and a missionary….uuuuug

[@ΜΑΡΙΑΠΑΠΑΔΟΠΟΥΛΟΥ-π7ω]

Yes!!! As in my case !!!

[@bonnieblood3983]

They are everywhere.

[@alicemacharia8738]

@@MeCynthiaAnn 😀

[@biancaevans5596]

Finally healing from all of the trauma. I’ve always been a private person and disliked having arguments in public places, or in front of others. My ex would purposely do this to humiliate me and even rolled down the car windows to yell at me in public places because he knew it triggered me and I would just freeze up or react and he would then say I was irrational or crazy or even try to record me after he pushed and pushed for a reaction. Words cannot describe how thankful I am to be out of that situation. Not to mention he was 18 years older than me and always called me a little girl who didn’t understand anything when he was upset with me. After 8 years and a failed Marriage I finally walked away. He now says I am a strong woman because HE MADE ME ONE! It’s sickening. I relate so much to these videos. Knowledge is definitely power. Onwards and upwards. 🙏🏽

[@MS-yf9dw]

I went with my kids to Norway and brought back a gift for my wife. Before I bought it, I was pondering the pros and cons. To buy or not to buy. She is narcissistic, hurting me with her words. Additionally, we don't sleep together... In my opinion, she doesn't deserve any gift. Nevertheless, I bought her a silver necklace. She is my wife after all, the mother of my 3 boys. She didn't thank me for it. On the contrary, she complained that I didn't hand it to her in the proper way. I should not have bought it. I should have brought her back, nothing. And I should have ended this relationship, years ago.

[@amandachilds5290]

Why didn't she go to Norway too? curious. Wonder if that was part of issue? I'm sorry it didn't go over the way you hoped

[@MS-yf9dw]

@amandachilds5290 Yes, you are right! She complained about that, too... The story was like this: she has issues with her spine, and my trip with the kids, overlapped with her planned stay in a sanatorium. Before our trip, she told me, "When you come back, I will not be home." As soon as we came back, the story changed... Now it was, "You didn't take me!" Nothing I do is ever good enough. I can't remember the last time she complemented me on something. It's always nag, nag, nag. Even yesterday, New Year's Eve. I moved out of the way to allow her to take a picture of our kid. There was no thank you. There was... a complaint that my finger ended up in her shot! I know, this is nothing serious. But that's all I get from her. Complaint after complaint, nothing else. They all stay in my head, and I've had enough... I didn't want to come home yesterday. I drove my aunt back to her place, drove back home, and stayed in the car to sleep. All that awaits me at home is shouting, the slamming of doors, and the throwing of utensils. So I slept in the car, until a neighbor walking his dog, noticed me, and knocked on my window to ask if I'm all right.

[@doloresaquines1529]

Well, MS, this New Year 2024 is the time to take that step and find the Life you deserve. Life is so short. Do It,!

[@amandachilds5290]

@@MS-yf9dw I'm very sorry for this. I think she feels left out even if it isn't true and is jealous or sad she isn't optimal so she projects things on you and makes things your fault because then it takes the constant nagging she is giving to her own mind. I mean that's a possibility but not the only possibility. I know someone like this. Constant critiquing we hear is only a small fraction of what she is likely saying to her own inner person and inner child. Pain and misery and second guessing are part of deep depression and isolation. It's easier to hate at you than to admit she is hating on herself and you are getting the excess spillage. It's misplaced anger from a deeply angry person. She likely has abandonment issues too that were triggered by your trip. You got to go and she didn't and then she imagined you are evil and rubbing it in with the necklace or the necklace is a pity gift. She is so miserable it clouds there interpretation of your actual intentions and ribs you of your attempts at reconciliation in a way that pushes you further which then justifies her ideas as she is making it happen but still telling herself she just knew it all along and you are proving it. It's very bad cycle, if it's like the person I knew and cared for. The fact is you can't really win with a person like that who changes and traits things for their own internal narratives and those. Narratives are almost entirely negative even though they are changing. Her revisionism is her attempt to keep the cognitive dissonance she requires to make you the bad guy so she diesnt have to look inward

[@amandachilds5290]

Also meant to type this is why they say misery loves company...because it's TRUE. The only way is maybe if she knew she was missed on the trip and that you bought the necklace not as a token of deeindship or duty but because it reminded you of her and that you wished she was there. Even if it's only a partial truth it might start to register slowly that you want things better and believe they can be. But that's only if she is BPD and slightly narc but not dull blown, not a malignant narc, with Dark Triad traits. Then they will take everything out of context and try to use kindness against you. But women tend to be more BPD so maybe you have hope. There are therapies for BPD and those with it know they have something they want to change but don't know how. Narcs believe they are perfect and the things need to change are things outside of them, like people and circumstances and refuse to do any works or awareness. I would be sad if my family went somewhere without me, even if it wasn't done to be mean and there was no way I could go like I hurt or illness. I guess it's just she is taking it to deeper level. It might not be about you at all and you are just collateral damage or blowback basically. Praying for you and kids and her especially. Pain and fear really make a person deteriorate on many levels.

[@jesusitrustinyou6900]

One Christmas the narcissist gave me a bag of junk that included bug spray. I always wondered what did the bug spray mean. He wasn't there with me on Christmas when I opened the bag of junk. Other Christmases he wouldn't give me anything. I spent Christmases alone. Birthdays & holiday's he ruined for me. If he felt like buying me a card (bare minimum) he wouldn't write my name on the card or sign it. I TRULY FEEL THAT MY DEMISE WOULD BE HIS HAPPINESS. HE PUT ME THROUGH HELL. TIMES I PRAYED THAT GOD WOULD TAKE ME.

[@sabineenibas6051]

Oh my god, my husband gave me a birthday card with no sign, with nothing. I was so confused. On the outside of the card were two empty deck chairs on a beach. Last christmas our sons became a card from him. I looked at the cards and there was also nothing! No sign, nothing! Only the card with money.....I speak with my friends about it, because I never expierenced something like that. Once again such a confirmation to read here about it. We are not alone!

[@bmdjk]

Yes like a vulture waiting for it...

[@matma78]

Narcissistic person are hacker They hacked people's personality

[@prophet1782]

My narc mum. No matter how much physical work you do, it's not enough for her. And if you say i'm tired she'd say why are you tired ??

[@girlintherain1]

"if only you were more submissive you'd be a lot happier, instead of trying to be something you're not " that means a person with a voice and opinion

[@tamimchoudhury4285]

My husband gave me a frying pan for my 40th birthday! It's a symbol that I serve him. I wish I chucked it in the bin. I gave up expecting anything from him 😢

[@unhumanhumour9264]

Yes, I’ve also had the narc giving me gifts and my daughter to infiltrate stuff. I resisted everything she gave in the end, because I just felt it was just another “hook” to hold onto me/us for control rather than a kind, selfless gift. Also, this made me think about how so many kids/adults have to get out of their way for others to get normal things and their decent human needs met. They say they need to deserve it first or they’ve learned that normal things are too much to ask for. They’re not 😢.

[@cherylberk4593]

Thank you, Danish. Wishing you a happy, healthy,and prosperous new year. You have made an enormous difference in my life for good. You are a gift to all of us. I started to write my experiences but stopped bcs while it has taken many years to recover, still more to be done, "let the healing be done" and continue. You give the gift of making sense of these monsters to us all. With that comes the realization that we are worthy of giving our selves the freedom and life we all deserve. Now I spend my time,money giving myself something really special, tangible as a reminder of another narc free occasion. ❤️

[@M.STAR.MEDIA1]

🙏 bless Danish

[@HamletsMill1969]

My dad did "this" by surprising me when I came home from school (15 y.o) he gave me a stereo. One month later, I was listening to Classical music, and he yelled at me, asking me, "Why are you listening to that funeral music?" I figured it out 50 years later. Slowly, my mind recovered years of the meaning of his actions from his covert narcissism, after the whole family died off. I learned I have to become so conscious that I don't go unconscious again. LOVE BLINDED ME. Shedding the damages is very hard work, better to just "see it, accept it quickly, escape it, and NEVER LOOK BACK, EVER!"

[@user-ux7yg2ch6i]

6 or 7 years into the relationship he did give me a gift for Christmas. It was an epilator so that I could wrench all of my disgusting body hair out by the roots. I'm in a relationship with someone lovely instead now. I hope everyone here has a good 2024 🎉

[@t.l.duncan1021]

I am struggling to overcome being perpetually angry. Defensive and annoyed and angry. The narcissist traits were passed on to our adult son. I am 59 and will not fight cancer if it returns. I am that OVER done.

[@acolley2891]

I got rid of my anger by praying for the narcs. I asked Jesus to help them and if they wouldn't repent , that He will deal with them because I can't anymore. When I put faith in God's judgement and love, I was set free. ❤

[@debprobst330]

My oldest son has a very cruel side which he very much got from see his father's behavior....I used to have a lot of anger I found that my son responded to strick boundaries the min I feel disrespected I remove myself and only allow him back in my life when he comes correct...I refuse to feel quilty any longer

[@jacquelineglitter4328]

Please don't not take care of yourself. You're worth it and don't deserve to be hurt anymore.

[@t.l.duncan1021]

@@heatherhall3452 Words from the Throne Room....thank you. God bless

[@NYCHFAN]

Examples of presents from my partner: A dictionary ("you mentioned you wish you had a better vocabulary"), a flashlight (so you can go to the bathroom at night without fear when we camp), a 2 pound box of chocolates (I was working realky hard hard to lose weight.) You get the idea.

[@sherricoffman]

SOrightNSoTrueThankYou!!! ❤ 🕊 ThankYOU 4Sharing!!! ❤ 🕊 MuchLove!!!

[@user-dz7pi5wi6t]

My narcissistic mother would gift me clothing that were way oversized. I'm usually XS or S and she would give me L or XL. When I went shopping with her as a kid, she would insist on buying clothing that I disliked, so I had no choice but to wear them because I had no options. When I gave her plants for Mother's Day, she transferred them outside to the sidewalk, where dogs peed on them and squirrels tore them out. Despite this, I was planning on buying her new plants for the following Mother's Day...but she bought plants for herself the week before. And she took care of her plants well, even setting up a protective net around them. She would display cards and gifts that she received from customers at her store. She only showed appreciation to people outside her family.

[@AmericanDreamer]

wow that an a.hole!!! I am sorry you went through it, sweetheart, I cannot even like your comment, because of terrible story, it make my blood boil when i finish reading..that is your life..the abusive past.. I wish you as you read this the most amazing new 2024! May God bless you richly and guide you in your life to His best for you! And nay He heal your heart and mind and reveal His goodness to you! You are not alone, you are not weak, but an over comer! All the best to you moving forward and leaving every dark thing in the past!

[@summacumsoap8983]

Ditto Ditto Ditto.. ... So glad it's ancient history

[@alicearcturus8610]

One more thing weird. He refused to close bathroom door when he pooped. He closed it for showers though. I read that LBJ did this as a power move when associates visited him. They would have to stand outside of doorway and talk to him. Thanks for your hard work!!

[@jeanplacanica7814]

That was my life in a nut shell. What a laugh, it is to me now. Danish your so spot on.😂👍

[@m.pellicier]

I will never forget the first time I gave my husband a couple of gifts. We only married 2 months at that time. It was not a holiday nor his birthday. I just felt happy to buy those nice shirts for him. Keep in mind, i did not know i had just married a covert narcissist, that was eventually was diagnosed as a malignant narcissist. He looked at the shirts, did not say thank you, not even a "thanks". He put the shirts on the side, and they stayed there, never worn. I am so happy he is an EX. From Danish, we learn something new everyday. I still find it incredible how narcissists are ALIKE. HOW in the hell it that possible that narcs from different races, cultures, countries are all alike?

[@summacumsoap8983]

I'm agreeing with the last part of your comment.It still astounds me how alike they are!!!!!! Long since out of the situation myself, but I use this particular knowledge to identify narcs around me and turn the other way if they try to latch onto me. So, not all for nothing if we learn to take the lessons from the hurt and apply to our daily lives 😊

[@bmdjk]

@@summacumsoap8983 Maybe it´s the same kind of entity inside them.

[@m.pellicier]

@@bmdjk I have also begun to think that narcs DO have the same entity inside of them.

[@m.pellicier]

@@summacumsoap8983 Me tooooooo. About a year ago around Christmas time, a man in a supermarket struck up conversation with me. One conversation led to another, and he says "I don't do Christmas, New Years, birthdays, or any holidays, nor any gifts" IMMEDIATELY, I recognized that as a typical narc thing. I was like "oh hell noooooo" IDENTICAL to my narc ex-husband. Narcs EVERYWHERE...

[@summacumsoap8983]

@@m.pellicier good for you 🙌 heads up, 👁️ open 👐

[@MatthewSmith-cp3hu]

prayer LORD thank you for danish, pls bless him, and thank you for blessing us with his perspective, he seems quite accurate, but i can't confirm or deny that, however it all seem so practical and helpful. it is such a terrible thing to be used and hurt by a narcissist, please help us all to stay far away from narcissist, and pls LORD fix the narcissist or keep them far away. in Jesus name amen

[@redpillbox1882]

Danish, I can relate to your story about your mother's gift giving. String Attached. Always. My grandparents were like this, especially my grandmother. It was not about what YOU wanted, it was about what SHE wanted you to have, that would force you to remember her. She would never pay any attention to what you asked for, she would give some gift that made her into a legacy of some sort. She wrote inscriptions on everything, and date them with her name so you could never ever give them away even to charity. She even wrote in big black magic marker on the back of furniture she would give you. Everything was "now I'm not going to give this to you if you won't appreciate it, or if you're just going to give it away". So like, I have to keep this thing FOREVER, that's what you're saying? She would give my kids, gifts to charity but in their names. So she got a tax write off, and they got a piece of paper saying I bought a goat for a village in Africa, in your name. I said, please don't do that anymore. They don't "need" anything, a simple card would be just fine. The sad thing is, that just memories of hanging out with your grandparents and doing fun things are a legacy, you don't have to write your name on everything, people will remember you. The only person who ever got exactly what they asked for was my uncle and we had to make a big production out of watching him open all of his gifts. My Mom has gotten into lately giving stuff that she got on clearance or a free promo, or things she wins as door prizes as gifts to me. I try to be thoughtful and come up with something very specific I know they would enjoy or could use. Luckily my kids have gotten their gift giving spirit from their mother and I am thankful for that. Give without expectations, give freely, give from your heart.

[@roxyabrooks864]

My mother is a malignant narcissist and my father (I now believe) is a covert narcissist. Whenever I asked my father for common, human decency towards me, he would declare, "... I'm not kissing your a$$!" Talk about fked up. Absolutely sick. Edit: I've been"no contact" for nearly a decade now.

[@valcat1274]

Yes!!!! Same comment from narc partner. He says the craziest, nastiest things like " do you want me to bend over? " or " do you think I'm your "slave" (but uses a racial slur") and this is just me asking him to bring him something from the other room. He just can't be nice- impossible.

[@roxyabrooks864]

@@valcat1274 I'm so sorry. It sounds like he's a total jerk. Not only is he a narc, but a racist to boot. Dear Lord, if being a narcissist isn't bad enough!

[@anajackson6677]

Both of my parents think I am selfish when for whatever reason I don't have contact with them. However, when I just want to talk to them, they snap and say, "why are you telling me this? I don't really care." Then they proceed to talk my ear off about golden child/narcissist sister. They will tell me everything about her life. Won't even let me talk about my life then tell everyone I do nothing with my life, as if they would know. But that's what you say when you don't want to admit you're a narcissist that won't care about your children. I guess that's why I don't like talking to them and I'M SO SELFISH.

[@CassieDee]

Very good analogy to shine light on the subject!

[@pattilewis]

Wow. This guy hit the nail on the head. My spouse of 44 years is exactly like this. I'm 64 and have had enough. I opened my eyes years ago but u get so used to it...

[@AngelaGrant-uf9go]

And the cruel things they do to kids concerning presents..like deliberately ruining Xmas for my kid years ago, when I was ill and could not get out for presents..I swear they do these things in the hope you will get the blame..d/w I made it up to my kid once I was better

[@anajackson6677]

My sister a flaming narcissist but so are my parents but they even acknowledged, at least one of them did, she went too far this XMAS. My dad was gifting me $$$ for little personal items and GROCERIES. It was supposed to be Western Union (instant) a few days before Xmas. He asked my sister to do it on his behalf (he's bed ridden and he only uses cash which he keeps in the bank). She did it right then...but she made it so I couldn't receive it until 2 days after Xmas. I ask why and how she put a 5 day pause on the WU because that meant i wouldn't have any GROCERIES for Xmas and until 2 days after Xmas. She was like oh well. She could have just asked my dad if he could get someone else to do it. So my mom had to volunteer a monetary gift for me because she was confused why my sister did that.

[@alienonion4636]

That's what they do. My mom would ask for a list for what I'd like for Xmas. Yeah. Not one thing on that list would I get. Always the maybe you'll get ... for your birthday which then turned back into Xmas. After a few years I refused to give a list....that was after I put only one thing on my list and she hounded me relentlessly. I had already told her why would I give you a list when you don't ever get me anything from it. Oh of course it was so she could know what to withhold from me. Same thing with anything I wanted while shopping...wait until it's on sale...if it's on sale wait it will come down lower. Nothing was as low as my mom. She was lower than a snake's belly in a gutter.

[@odeyinkamotunrayo4789]

Very true. They pay you peanuts

[@paulinewroth5487]

Love your videos - they are helping me on my healing journey. Happy New Year to you ❤x

[@Flynow-24]

He gave me, just before the discard, 2 sets of pajamas for Christmas. They were 1X and 2X in size. I wear a sm/medium. He announced his family and everyone got a laugh.

[@BedouinBabeNomad]

Sorry to hear.. my experience was similar. My husband called himself doing me a favor by picking up a pack of under garments. I wear a size 7. He brought home size 13. Years gone by now, I did an experiment. I sat at a worksite and watched a man perform his task. My husband had the same type of job. It required precision and paying close attention to small detail. There was no room for error less there be detrimental consequences. I was triggered in that moment. I realize, it was by design that my husband didn’t take care to read the size. I still felt the sting of the insult though it wasn’t announced in front of anyone .

[@anajackson6677]

My mother used to do that crap especially when I picked up just grown woman weight. No, mom, I'm not 14 so I don't wear a zero anymore. I am almost 30 and I wear a 6 now. That meant I got fat so she needed to gift me large clothing. And, no surprise, she was calling me fat when I was a size 0.

[@WWZenaDo]

...This is a guy who would find his laptop super-glued shut when he least expected it.... Or even rubber cemented shut, and he gets to scrape off the glue. "But honey, I was waterproofing it for you, since you were so kind as to get me a gift...!"

[@AV_8833]

My narcissistic brother literally did this to me one year as a "'joke". What made it even more humiliating was the fact that his new girlfriend (who I had never met) was there to witness the whole thing as it happened. Great memory, that. :(

[@soloman747]

Here's the problem. When Social Media and dating apps were created, we inadvertently created a perfect ecosystem for people with cluster B disorders like narcissistic personality disorder and histrionic personality disorder to thrive. Now we all suffer.

[@lorabor8967]

This is so true. Glad I got out.

[@bewarefalsenonprofits]

My ex asshole ( named by the neighbors, they called him my pet asshole), would find out the ONE thing not sold in the country we were traveling together in, and while he was off "working" I was sent on the fools errand to purchase this ONE item he had to have. This disenabled me from doing any sight seeing or enjoying myself, because I was terrified of not being able to find the ONE thing that he knew before hand was not legally sold in that country. In Switzerland it was althlete's foot creme. It took me many trips together to figure out his MO ( modus operandi) then he tried to use me as a human parking meter, meaning he wanted me to drive him to where he was working, then wait in the rented vehicle for up to 8 hours, parked illegally, in extreme temperatures, usually in a foreign country. He went into a rage when I refused. Then bribed the bus drivers so I couldn't get a ride for myself while he had the car.

[@Brnojol364]

That is awful, I can only imagine how painful, confusing and degrading that must have been for you.

[@MariaWestermeyer-hd3tg]

Thank you for this vid, my narc never got me anything for any occasions, the so called gift he got me last year was utter dispicable, and on top of that he gave the so called gift 5 days after new years, sticky prit,small Xmas lights, pads, playing cards ones you get a toddler, but all put in a pretty gift bag that I assume now was from one of his fling chip s*x supply, he never gave me anything ever, when he saw my disappointment he first said you are ungrateful and then added by laughing too saying he found the shit in the dumpster while he was working, yes they make you work yourself to death actually to appease them, I don't feel anything for him anymore, he knows it very well too, had a freak out just again with him recently, he is like a child a bully brat one at it, makes me cry almost every day, iam strong though it hurts what he is and knowing he will never change, I'm OK, heart split into fragments mental health almost diminished, but with your channel iam so much more stronger wiser and learning all the time, thank you great vid, made me cry, thank you🙏🙌🙌

[@jacklarson6281]

one narc I knew would buy a present for you for Christmas that they knew you didn't want or need knowing that you would just offer it back to them. This was her way of fulfilling the Christmas gift "obligation" by buying you something she actually wanted for herself.

[@phyllischaffin4052]

My ex-husband once gave me "diamond" earrings that turned my ears green.

[@cocobeancrafts1172]

Thanks For opening the tangled brain of mine. I was abused by a teacher in my childhood, then a stalker, then my father in law then by boss at my work place. Most important reason was I didn't fulfill their sexual desires. I'm insomniac, got hypertension, on antidepressants and living with my brother at the moment in England. Tried to kill plenty of times but ended up in hospital only. I've started writing poems after watching your videos. Which is really helping with my mental health. I remember getting difficulty in communications as my words were disappearing. I used to take so long to talk. This video is absolutely for me and for so many like me Danish, can you please make a video about, how many narcissists a normal person meet in a life time in average. Also what happens if there is clashes between two narcissists or they will be best friends? How they make people agree on what they say and make a group against one person? Got so many questions. Any chance you can give more clear thoughts about that? Thank you 🙏🏻

[@cocobeancrafts1172]

@@heatherhall3452 thanks for your kind words. I'll consider your advice 😊

[@stephanieschulze179]

My ex-nar once gave me a vacuum cleaner for Christmas. Then on another Christmas a G-string in front of his mother & sister & her hubby. He laugjed like a hyena!!! Mothers Day he got ne nothing but said they were out of rose bushes would get one later--never did! When I found out he spent a thousand dollars on golf clubs -- I bougt myself a fur coat!!!

[@MeCynthiaAnn]

From JANESVILLE, WISCONSIN USA Thanks again so much for all your videos you put out. God bless you ALWAYS.

[@BonnieR-ju8rn]

Wow!, hey from Rockford😊

[@MeCynthiaAnn]

@@BonnieR-ju8rn Well, hello to Rockford Illinois. I certainly do love going to the Cherryvale Mall. We’re only about 32 miles from each other. I used to be a Director of sales with hotels there. Wow God bless you and thank you for writing happy happy new year to you and your loved ones and I pray God’s angel armies all around you in Jesus name.

[@NeldaVermaak]

I got toothpicks for christmas

[@HuHWhat-yi8cp]

Stolen cheap fragrance in a beat up dirty box !

[@zandatee]

this does not sound narcissist for me. I dont like Christmas gift giving in general. I think its a time to quit it. Its so commercial and so mass and mandatory. So in our family among grownups we exchange symbolic hopefully usefull items or something eatable so that it does not become a burden. In fact its all a show for childrens joy - so that everybody would have some gift not just them.

[@sandramcinnesscott2931]

I got binbags and 2 paintbrushes in a dirty old bag ...I cried

[@zandatee]

@@user-el8nz4yu4t My mother is a Covert narcissist on a level of NPD. but i have noticed it not just in our family - its all around that people use to give in best case gifts which dont burden (f.ex. socks, a candle or a jar of honey ) of in worst case garbage. and then you feel burdened in many ways - 1)have to act you are glad, 2) then hold it somewhere and 3)then think how to get rid. And 4) what to give in return.

[@zandatee]

@@user-el8nz4yu4t For this reason in our country at last special rooms are opened where people can bring and leave their unnecessary gifts. i think with time they be full of garbage.

[@riddhidharaiya5032]

🙏 Thank you so much..

[@deebee4622]

You have to act happy no matter what they get/ do for you otherwise they’ll give you a hard time for not being appreciative or hard to please, etc. They set you up for their sick pleasure.

[@francesmartel7948]

It was really hard for me to watch you, at first, Danish-the reason is you look JUST LIKE the narcissist that tortured me for 18 years, until he died from kidney cancer. But your message is so good & true, and I learned that looks & big, brown eyes don’t have anything to do with it-abuse is abuse.

[@janedoe5229]

I bought beautiful shirts and ties for my boyfriend. He would wear them on dates when he was cheating on me. Women would flirtatiously complement his shirts and ties in front of me, and he would soak it up. He would never say that I gave them to him. They just thought he had great taste. No: he had crappy taste before I improved is wardrobe.

[@AmericanDreamer]

Hope you leave his ass in dust, sis! Hugs,be strong and have a wonderful, peaceful and healing 2024!

[@SoniaProteau-cj6tk]

Thank god I got a sense of humor 😂

[@susansimon4255]

The topic itself was a pleasant surprise cos it was so true. Giving me a substandard gift for my birthday and expecting that I appreciate it was his joy and when I said let's exchange it, he was angry.

[@ronaldwalker1009]

Pure logic 👍💯💯💯💯🧠🧠💯🧠 keep up your work.

[@WeAreStrongwithJesus]

This is accurate!

[@ramyasweety1180]

my ex husband gave me a ring on bday and after 2 days he asked me why are you wearing that? and gave me 4 set of dresses and I was like wow im lucky ,,, i showed me with a new dress he gave he said dress is so good but not nice on u. i get hurt on my bday itself.

[@amiravdic7451]

I draw n color hyper realistic, more so than Jack from Titanic to give u an idea. Just very detailed stuff. For my bday she got me some level-one coloring pencils (to insult my skill level I bet) then she acted completely oblivious like she didn’t see the “level-one” part

[@joannaperry6724]

I refused to do housework until paat Midnight to launder his clothes. 9months later, he had his flying monkey mother buy me a pillow for Xmas bc "they know how much i like to sleep." (Fact: i paid 100% of the household bills alone)

[@roguedjinnwind4569]

7 times? Maybe I've reached my last time. I've lost count. I hope so. I'm better this time. Better than any time before. I still want to be in his arms but not enough to get near him again. It's been nice having a quiet holiday. I might be boring but I'll take boring over hell any day. He only gave me one real gift in 28yrs. The rest were really for himself

[@ayeshajamil6023]

Danish you are so true

[@CCelia1953]

I asked my children not to get ús .... Both grandparents.. any Christmas gifts so they've more money to welcome our first and only grand child. Nevertheless ofcause, I got a cheap black framed black and white print of the embryo (I've so many shared to me it's not even funny!!!) Their father, the Biggest Narc ever, got a bagfull of amazing gifts even though he shows no excitement becoming GrandPop. After they left I dropped the framed embrio in the bin 😢

[@donnalively2894]

One Christmas I told my now ex-husband that I wanted a computer for my Herb and vitamin store. He was not happy I went over his head and opened this store. On Christmas morning, he had our two kids to film me opening his gift which was in a large box. I believed for once he's giving me what I've asked for. Long story short, inside the big box was smaller box after smaller until the final box was a jewelry box. As I opened this final box, he said " if we ever get divorced, I get this back!" It was a diamond ring set in a gold setting, which I always told him I hated gold and prefer silver. Years later when I divorced him, he asked for the ring back but since it was a gift I told him I wasn't obligated to return it. I thought about giving it to a granddaughter if I ever had one, but thought better because I didn't want to pass negative energy into my future grandchild, so I sold it back to a jeweler.

[@katherineraquelle1930]

My narc parents have children for the wrong reasons. I feel like I have to work twice as hard as the “normal” person 😊 Wish this information was out 15 years ago…. My family are narcs, my school narc bullies and everything in between. At this point my life.. I am Raquelle as a human (my childhood) I would have gotten along with the Nightstalker 😊

[@anajackson6677]

My narcissist parents don't even buy me gifts. They literally steal my things, act like it's their gift to me so they expect me to work to get my own stuff back then say they were "just helping". They stole my $2k round trip plane ticket (i paid for it) to Europe then expect me to do chores for them out of gratitude for "protecting" my ticket because they didn't have to return to me.

[@fawn06]

You just described my untouchable narcissistic boss. Just dangling a carrot before you.

[@samk6051]

He gave me a gift of cellphone headphones in front of entire family, put on a show and it wasn't even gift wrapped and I already knew beforehand what he was gifting me...😂 Thank god I am narc free for 10 years now...

[@alicearcturus8610]

Hello Danish! Would you talk about something I noticed about a narcissist I was with 25 years. I don't think I ever heard him say please. Very rare to hear thank you. I always said thank you to waitresses that served him. He only said it to someone he was trying to impress, but very rarely.

[@tertiusimpostor]

That »packaging« was mayhem! I guess the nuts and bolts to seal it cost much more than its content (I don´t believe the books were precious first editions of great poets or philosophers!) - and it was in no way beautiful (we »regular folk« try to make look gift´s wrappings look - well, made and given with love and devotion) It almost made me cry …

[@AB6731]

My narc sister will give me random things for Christmas that she either got on sale at Ross/TJ Max or even out of the donation bin at the home for transient kids she "works" at.... those items will be wrapped in a large box, layers of duct tape, inside of smaller and smaller boxes with more duct tape and weighted with rocks. She gets angry if anyone mentions how difficult it is to open these packages, especially for my elderly parents who don't carry pocket knives. She acts wounded and insulted because she went to "so much work" to get "so many wonderful gifts" for people and "spent so much time" to wrap them so "beautifully". The sad part is both parents are narcs and also enable her behavior- I just need to be quiet and not get grumpy about all the boxes and duct tape because my sister "loves Christmas SO much and just wants it to last longer". She also gaslights everyone with "duct tape means I love you".

[@michaelgarrow3239]

I was studying to be a professional pilot. As soon as I passed the instrument check-ride. A long term girlfriend had me arrested for “domestic violence” said I threw her down stairs. Then she raped me. Said I’d get arrested again if I tried to stop it or called the police. 18 years later I’m still messed up and my life is ruined. I’m seeing a psychiatrist. A lot of worse things happened I got involved with a female psychiatrist with a phd and a cluster B personality. My current psychiatrist works with veterans with ptsd. I could use some ideas.

[@Janetbringsawareness]

This is kinda along the lines of gift giving I experience. I bought him nice things. Took time from my heart. And it was a Seahawks jersey. I didn't buy the right type .. I was excited to give it to him only to be let down that is was wrong. 30 year's in I've never bought the right gift one time. Writing this i feel only stupid. Because i know this and expected and it still hurt 🤕

[@JAYNEmM1962]

One valentines day we were over at his enabler brother's with a few couples, the other women were enjoying their gifts. Everyone decided to drive to our house in another town then go to the lake. We get to the house and as im walking by him setting at the dinningroom table he hands me this paper bag ,I open it inside a pair of huge clown glasses???? Infront of all these friends who got nice gifts. Those were the kinds of gifts I got for over 40 yrs. If I cried he accused me of being greedy. It conditioned me to accept anything without complaint. Damn just sharing my hell makes me depressed why did I stay. Because I was made to think if I did xyz he would love me back. That I was so damaged I wasn't seeing right well thats for sure but it was his conditioning I didn't see till therapy.

[@arlenematthews1794]

My ex husband had a very dictator style of mannerisms. He would sabotage my efforts to go out and make friends. He told me one weekend that I had to stay home and clean the basement. He would often make me do work that was beyond my physical capability like being too heavy. I'm 5'3" and 140 lbs.. not a big person. I feel like I ruin my body in that relationship. He often punished me like a child and withheld any kind of affection for me or marital relations. There was no marital relations the last 5 years of our marriage. It was a relationship from Hell