Healing Mother Wounds

[@daughteroflight8624]

Mother wound →Toxic guilt →False burden bearer I became a young counselor listening my mother's victimhood and that led me to become e false burden bearer. Thank you for this awesome discussion. 🙏🏻💖

[@LL-lj1kq]

I’m 70 and still working on parent wounds.

[@sprintp739]

LL - I am 59 and working on parent wounds.

[@Sunnyanne283]

Me too! I am 77 and am now understanding.

[@retiredguy909]

68...

[@noracoyle4988]

67

[@aliasgirl9]

It’s always a good time to recognize it and work on them.🥰 Part of me wonders that there are more people that have to heal than not.

[@Brian-rs4ug]

I’m so glad you covered this topic in your series. Father wounds are talked/taught on far more than mother wounds. It is often assumed everyone has father wounds, but mom came to the rescue and was there for us (physically,relationally,emotionally) This certainly isn’t always the case. I think having an emotionally absent mother caused more damage in my life than damage done by a passive father. Certainly both can have devastating consequences. Although a child’s need for nurture from mom is imperative to an raising an emotionally stable child.

[@fambam6709]

It’s so amazing that I am in my early 50s and now learning so much about how my upbringing impacted who I am today. I am broken, healing and transforming into a better me with God’s help. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.🙏🏽

[@MentalWellnessWithWaihiga]

This is really why I don't want to a mother. I don't want to mess up my kids like I was messed up. I wasn't loved...or loved well..and I don't want to damage innocent kids. But I acknowledge that I don't have control over that. May God have his way

[@ethanplacella]

Since I was a young kid my mom told me everything. Literally everything. What happened between her and my dad and why they were divorcing. All the gossip happening in my family. My mothers pain. She leaned on me as her emotional crutch/support and remember sitting there many times awkwardly wondering why I had to hear all of it.

[@CiciNicoleTv]

Same

[@daughteroflight8624]

Same

[@ecarl12]

Me too!

[@JanetElevating]

Wow this is exactly what I deal with every day. Dad was gone with his other family, mom was angry and bitter and unavailable. Fast forward a few years later and she was a diagnosed manic depressive on medication and on disability. She then added my oldest sister to the disability train and that just sealed the deal on me being the bad daughter who just didn’t understand what mom was going through and that’s the same song and dance 35 years later. My sister thinks I’m in the wrong when I tell her that she needs to heal like I’ve been trying to heal for more than a decade. You see she has never lived away from mom and she has been taking care of her since the disability 35 years ago. She has no life and is at her feet 24/7 and being ridiculed and name called and criticized by her on the daily. It’s such a tough situation and it kills me to see the dynamic between them but I’ve been burned too many times to fall in the trap again. I still see them about once a month (had to learn to distance myself) and help them with as much as I can but nothing is ever good enough for them at this point because sis has become my mom 2.0. Mom is 83 now and I fear the day she leaves the earth because I truly believe that’s when sis will be able to heal and it’s going to be tough. I will be here for her as i feel like I will be able to guide her and help her along her healing journey. At least that’s what I would like to do if she permits it. Sorry for the long rant but your topics really hit home for me and I usually just listen but today I needed to comment since I spent time with them yesterday and all the feels come up fresh again 🤦🏻‍♀️ thank you for doing this work. God bless you both 🤍

[@MelissaDeJesus777]

I think so many ppl can to relate to much of your story! So glad we can be a blessing to your journey ♥️

[@craigcolbourn8351]

Thank you both!! This ministry doesn’t mess around. You guys get right to the “Root”. Thank you for helping us to see! The pain heals when it’s turned into mercy.

[@marktdejesus]

Thanks Craig!

[@lovehasaname2148]

I feel normal now. I'm in my early 20s and I'm going through the journey of healing with Christ and these are emotions and experiences I dealt with and I started to think I was abnormal. I am so grateful I listened to this. I can 100%relate and a lot of things I am starting to understand.

[@MelissaDeJesus777]

❤️

[@Webbgurl2000]

I had to separate from my narcissistic mom. She was like that mom on “Tangled.” Poisoned me and my siblings for decades. I’m having flashbacks and new memories for several years now from her emotional and spiritual abuse. I found a group of Christian women called, “Daughters of Emotionally Absent or Narcissistic Mothers.” So many women left hurt, wounded, crippled by absentee and/or selfish mothering.

[@mountaingirl8124]

Is this group online? In person? Sounds like a blessing!

[@MelissaDeJesus777]

That sounds like a great group to be part of! There are alot of great books on the subject as well ❤️

[@lillymedesto]

I feel like I had 2 emotionally absent parents, ugh. So hard.

[@aleshadeese8075]

I love you 2!! Thank you for this!! Please can you do a video on single mothers who are struggling to not let their brokenness pour over into our children.

[@Webbgurl2000]

We don’t owe our parents our lives. God blessed them to be vessels through which he got us here. Worshipping them is can allow for manipulation for a lifetime.

[@Supersquid1776]

I was never nurtured by my mother. We went to a Fundamental Baptist church. Nothing I did was ever good enough for her and she beat me to bloody welts many times with a belt and was inraged when she did it. She was the type of person who never admitted she was wrong. I thought I was saved at eight or nine years old but came to a point where I didn't want anything to do with the Church and became very rebellious for many years. Ive tried to come back to Jesus many times but always drift back feeling I wasn't really saved or wasn't really serious. It seems like I've had religious OCD my whole life. I know Jesus is the only one who can save and heal me from this. I need Him to intervene and give me revelation and help me to learn from him!

[@natalieann2000]

I'll be praying for you! I can relate.

[@Supersquid1776]

@@natalieann2000 Thank you, I will pray for you too, I know Jesus is our only answer!

[@Webbgurl2000]

Check out Daughters of Emotionally Absent Mothers. They are here on KZbin. Lots of women hurting from absent or abusive moms. I’m so sorry. This kind of mother can damage a daughter’s ability to even pray, trust, or seek God. She can leave you wounded in your relationships with yourself and others especially.

[@Supersquid1776]

@@Webbgurl2000 Thank you, I will check it out, I'm sure there are many men in the same situation, God Bless You!

[@kcee9111]

Umm sounds like you are explain my life situation. My father ended up being an overt narcissist and my mother the worst kind - a covert narcissist that uses manipulation and gaslighting to get whatever agenda she needs fulfilled. And no one in the family can see it but me and anyone that is a true Christian. I can’t tell you how insane I have gone in my mind over her. 😞 You’re so right - people aren’t ready to talk about the mother wound

[@Lokaluna7956]

I am highly aware of whats happening and has happened to me due to mother wounds and I'm in my 20s. God grands wisdom, u can still be greatly aware in ur 20s

[@dknecht1971]

At a young age of 17 I became part of a band where I met a lady who was my mom figure. I trusted her and found nurturing qualities in her. But a few years into this the relationship became sexual. ImBy God’s grace I was able to quit the band a year later. Today at 50 years old i have been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder and depression. I’m not sure where to go from here but I have been reading your books and they are awesome. Thank you for your insight.

[@ladytemjad]

What a blessing this was! The mother wounds are definitely subtle… the lack of nurturing is present in most of our lives unbeknownst to many of us. Thx so much for breaking it down! God bless you both ❤️

[@Andfollowlove]

This literally posted the day I sought out Mark DeJesus about how to relate to my children from new tools and not from old wounds. I hear, there is nothing wrong with using scripture to address and relate to our children. But God wills for us to have a heart to heart connection with our children first. They are more than just children, they are little images of our Father and He desires that they be sent forth into this world equipped to serve others from where they are (little ones into adulthood). One step and moment at a time, this a journey. He has weaved into their lives treasures that He stored for them to discovery that we get to built with them.( An image of building lego or building blocks.) We have the amazing role to train and help our children discover the Heavenly Father's tools available for them. Discovery in uncomfortable circumstances reveal amazing lesson and rewards for the moments. My daughters have these huge smiles when they see the evidence of God's presence in their life. Especially when they witness it on their own while using the tools the Lord equipped me to coach them to discover. Give them what we have received from our from our Heavenly Father, Love. As Kingdom Children we are called to be available vessel to make way for the Adonai to reveal His compassion through us. In short, make room to allow the Holy Spirit to relate and express compassion to where the child is. Remembering these Children belong to the Father, we as parents called to Steward. Mark DeJesus and his wife are providing tools to steward God's precious gift to us. We too are precious Gifts to our Father who may or may not have been stewarded the way the Father wills for us to be Love. He is Redeemer and Restorer. The Heavenly Father loves us and we are being taught by His Spirit to love our children too. No one is perfect parents but we are all being called to me perfect (mature ) parents. Perfect in the bible means to be spiritually mature. Let us embrace that perfection the Father speaks in scripture, spiritually mature parents. It's a journey (relationship) with the Father.

[@logic301x4]

This is a blessing from so many generational curses, thank you so much! God bless you and your family 🙏♥️

[@mjbreitmeyer6021]

Thank you so much for this video! Very relevant and oh-so- relatable. Growing up in a chaotic/noisy home with 3 generations living under the same roof, one never felt seen or heard. My mum's priority were my grandparents who lived with us and that, along with her raging temper, prevented a warm relationship between us. I had anorexia as a teen (44 now) and only recently realised why. These destructive dynamics carried on throughout my adulthood even though I had left home. My mum's projection, blaming, shaming, manipulation, victim mentality and just mere meanness led to us losing even that little relationship that we had. She hung up the phone and literally cut me off. My mum wounds runs deep and the grief is very intense. I know now that love is not a word. It's action. What we say should match what we do.

[@nia5128]

I’m so grateful for this.

[@lindal6291]

Great insights 👍 Thank you both and God bless you and your teaching. I truly wish I knew this while my sons went through the teenager rebellion time…it was such a shock to see your sweet children turn into different person

[@domcruise274]

Pastor Mark, could you please consider making a video series for unbelievers/seekers? Short 10 min videos would be perfect to send to seeking friends using your psychological approach which is so attractive to unbelievers these days.

[@lisamendenhall3160]

Oh my goodness! Not one yes answer! That’s just sad 😞thank you for your transparency! we will get through to the other side!!

[@WendyHubbard-fc1st]

Thank you I need this

[@gracia2316]

I have OCD because of my mother. I love her very much but she abused me and my siblings.... she was also a victim of abuse , even more than we were. So it is understandable.

[@natalieann2000]

Thank you for this message. I've always wanted to make sure I didn't make my mom mad. Even now I have anxiety telling her things. Lol..the whole list is where I need to grow in

[@1234nfd]

Great video and great insights...I learned so much.

[@iCa11]

Thanks

[@glendagajsek-shears3890]

I have moments of thinking that my mother only tried the best she could how she also grew up and also got "slack" as she got older. But was a busy person working and money focused a lot... Always tension between us especially when I was a teen and she was going through menopause... Then also being told so much by others how she wasn't a "good" example for me as a mother or wife etc 😔

[@glendagajsek-shears3890]

The only time for a few years we seemed to be ok when I was doing the thing she liked and was doing some things to make her happy... I was closer to my father in the past too because him being the "nicer" parent... Alot of these traits did work for a while. Also thoughts of being better that my mother. But then I couldn't even live up to a good standard my self for long and seemed becoming worse than my parents and me crashing because not being nourish? But also attacked to me more distant towards people and avoiding things because how we grew up differently. And when I have my own personal spiritual truths and battles of beliefs and doing what is right in love is my problem now and making me like more worse than others who were good parents 😔

[@glendagajsek-shears3890]

I really wish God did give more love in us to prevent these issues but then people like you would have this ministry to help others to heal...

[@JC.714]

I been struggling with emotional unbalance sadness and bummed out I tried making peace with my mom and dad but they still manipulate me Like a puppet and lie and only play with my emotions it hurts me to see them act that way and treat me like a joke 💔 I have decided to separate from them to prevent problems and for healing . can I ask for prayer from the body of christ my name is juan carlos I'm 33

[@Webbgurl2000]

I’m glad you e decided to separate from them to get healing for yourself. Lots of people are having to do this

[@JC.714]

@@Webbgurl2000 yeah I had to it was too much manipulation now they stop calling me and playing the guilt game on me like if I'm doing something wrong for staying away they always do that but I'm persevering to focus on more important things ❤

[@noracoyle4988]

Why does it upset me so much when i see other people happy?

[@lanagavin2309]

Who is the piano music by? It's beautiful.

[@Bijou_248]

How I understand it is this - A mother wound is a collective wound (shame, guilt, fear, etc) that girls feel from their mothers. In short- each young girl is a beautiful goddess in the making, she must be treated with respect, loved unconditionally and Valued for all that she is growing to become. Her Own Authentic Self and gift to our Higher humanity. Thank you for letting me share. Be blessed. 🙏🙏🌸🪄🕊️

[@freetobememe4358]

How did u know, I was just going to look the subject up.

[@marilyngreenblatt746]

My mother once said to me that if we were in a sinking boat and there was only one life jacket left, she would take it and let me drown. That is why it is extremely difficult for me to believe that Jesus would give His life for me.

[@jasonkirkbride3783]

Do you do 1 on 1 work mark? I’ve been watching and tuning in for a little bit now. And if possible would love to do some 1 on 1 work

[@marktdejesus]

Yes I do. Im a bit full now though. markdejesus.com/help

[@reg8297]

The mother was once a child who was abused and tore apart what I went thru was like been killed over n over again i won't apologise to someone I love for the pit my my mother dug for me when I choose this abuser my mother deceived me and was the cause of me choosing an abuser like her ill never apologise for what she caused that she knows in her soul she's responsible for

[@claudiaschneider5744]

All that you can really try doing is - to clean up that deeply wound inside of you when its fuilled up again with infected blood - than let it go and dry - but: for the most of us there is no perfect healing possible anymore - I am telling you from my very own experiences about it. Not even god can change the past and neither he can heal all our deepest wounds.

[@seaside1991]

Mom picked him and married him...

[@Sarah777c]

👏🕊

[@Webbgurl2000]

I’ve had to learn that this hero worship to either parent is idolatrous. Parents will or place for us is not to be above God’s Will. I must choose to follow Christ FIRST. As I get help and confront what my mom has done, I get to become free and reach out to others who were damaged in the same way. Parents who lean on their children as adults are parentifying them.

[@mrssauce7268]

Lol lololol I did NOT know this was an unspoken agreement kind of thing geez I've been grilling my husband's nuts for not being emotionally available for our daughters😑🤦

[@nathanaelbarrie214]

What if you never had a father?

[@Star-dj1kw]

Restart at 11:39

[@rudolph1899]

So how do you actually heal mother wounds?😊

[@mrssauce7268]

I'm 38 and he's 52 lol

[@noracoyle4988]

I diid,nt feel special,

[@mrssauce7268]

And he works full-time🤦