Moving Isn't Great for Kids

[@ShazySoft]

I went to 6 different elementary schools, two middle schools and four high schools, each completely disconnected from the other, and all from moving. my family never really had any issues and i always have felt close and comfortable with them: Looking back now, with each new school I made less friends, and felt more lonely and detached. By the time I reached my junior year I couldn't even deal with the emotional strain of being around what effectively was a mass of strangers, so I went to a home school for my final year. sorry for the lame sob story but please keep your children in mind when thinking about moving: it can so easily put a harsh strain on their social aptitude

[@unaliveeveryonenow]

I bet I have no friends because of my parents... yeah.

[@ShazySoft]

+X Just don't lose hope, alright? c: Feeling shy around a group of new people is normal for the socially anxious of us, it's just blatantly exacerbated by the prospect of your whole world constantly changing around you, beyond your control. You might feel like it's your fault, like you can't make friends anymore, but that's absolutely not true at all. I think it's probably the contrary. You get so used to high quantities of people, that you become more concerned with relating with select people, qualitatively. Best of luck to you, and remember that you're not alone, and there's people out there just waiting to be best friends with ya c;

[@unaliveeveryonenow]

Baiku Waifu I moved only once and the world is still full of strangers. Maybe if your nickname is Baiku Waifu you couldn't have friends even in a million alternate universes.

[@ShazySoft]

+Kim Jong-un Jr. It's easy for the world to feel that way, but I think as long as you have people that are special to you then the rest don't really need to matter! and my friends like my weeby nicknames, thank ya c;

[@unaliveeveryonenow]

Baiku Waifu You are backing down. You've gone from wishful thinking "there's people out there just waiting to be best friends with ya" to denial "my friends like my weeby nicknames" in three seconds.

[@superiornightwing]

My first move was when I was eight. I had a personality shift when it happened, and was no longer as outgoing. After that I stated move every two to four years. The high school I ended up going to, nearly everyone had lived in that town since birth. It wasn't easy finding friends.

[@claytonbigsby381]

Same

[@Trianghoul]

that's how I grew up all my life and to this day. i'm not very well adapted.

[@onk6229]

i’m 12, and i’ve moved 7 times :D

[@Scixxy]

I can't imagine what NOT moving a lot as a kid would be like. (Sadly, I am not a counter-example to the results of the study.)

[@bshay513]

You could just look at military kids for more data. I was raised in an Air Force family, and I confess the best move I ever made, socially speaking, was when I left for Germany and when to a school on the base. Everyone there knew what it was like to have to move so much, so they were quick to accept newcomers.

[@Zeyev]

I was waiting for another Air Force brat to chime in. One year we moved 5 times but I was very young. When people ask where I'm from I have to ask what they mean. When they ask where I went to high school I say 9th grade in Alabama, 10th grade in California, and 11th/12th in North Dakota. I tell them not to ask about 2nd grade. You know what I mean. I never went to a school with only other brats; I always went to town schools. In my experience, military brats find each other. We're either the ones who circulate the best at a party or the wallflowers. Or both, depending on the setting. Anyway, thanks for contributing. I hope Aaron reads our comments.

[@theenglishgentleman4847]

Moving isn't for everyone.

[@phyllisdevries5734]

I am a tramp loggers daughter, I went to at least 3 different schools from kindergarten until 5th grade. Then lived 3 years in Alaska, had to move back to Forks WA. Had such a fit we moved back to Alaska

[@Sam-gc9gc]

Germany’s air force base was the best and I had the best time at the school there. It was so nice being at a school with other kids that understood the struggle 😭 In the states, I rarely went to a DODEA school so it was hard fitting in with other kids sometimes.

[@1Hawkears1]

Except then everyone around you moves all the time too :") Still better than being the only one though

[@MimouFirst]

I never moved in my first 18 years, but it did switch school multiple times and that was not easy. I guess it's not just about the moving, but also about switching schools / social enviroments.

[@shadexblitz32]

I've moved around a lot as a kid. Sometimes when I tell people that, they say something like "making new friends must be hard, huh?" It's actually really easy to make new friends after awhile, the caveat being you will never trust them that much.

[@thembamwanza9831]

This hit home

[@AdventuresAwait123]

So it is hard to make new friends. I agree I can make friends pretty easily but I don't trust people to stick around at all.

[@unusedflint6066]

Making friends is fine, it’s just you stop caring about them to much, bc you know you’re gonna move again

[@catholicfemininity2126]

Yeah, I wanted that strong 'family friendship' vibe you get from anime. I know it's a fantasy, but, it would be nice to have friends you could truly trust and be yourself around. I feel like I won't ever find anyone like that who would stick around if we had banter, disagreements, or arguments.

[@smonsmon2955]

I've moved across the country 7 times, going on 8 from when I was 3 to 14. My family moved constantly because of my sister's career in ballet and how we were in constant debt. After the first couple of moves, I started feeling antisocial, lonely, and constantly anxious. my mom's substance abuse, constant guilt-tripping, and a bunch of other random personal issues didn't help the situation. When I turned 13 my parents sent me off to california by myself to stay at my grandpa's house for financial reasons and like when you move somewhere new its hard to meet people but when you're sent off by yourself and all you have is staying inside a single room and all you have to occupy yourself is your homeschool and no social connection it gets depressing really quick. Thankfully now I have some people on discord that are cool. Anyways I don't want to run a pity party lmao, just needed to vent in a youtube comment.

[@Sandyyyyyyyyyy]

I can say moving definitely impacted me and how I interacted with other children. Based on my childhood I've decided to raise my children in one home (assuming all goes well) to provide that stability I didn't have.

[@SaveznaRepublikaJugoslavija]

you don’t need to have kids, I know this is extremely old but I say this to everyone, make sure it is what you truly want.

[@samuelsmith7866]

I grew up military, and yeah, moving constantly made it harder to relate to other kids and made it harder to make friends. As I've become older, it's been hard to form romantic relationships because of constant moving. I don't recommend it

[@16poetisa]

Why is anyone surprised? Moving is stressful, especially for children. It can be extremely isolating.

[@paxundpeace9970]

Not really but how severe it is as well as specific ages are interesting. Just important research.

[@catholicfemininity2126]

I was excited as a kid, BUT, I didn't realize what I was missing out on, family and friends..

[@Brockmarshall.]

My parents moved from my hometown when I was going into high school, don’t ever do that it’s too late

[@Parloso]

Born in Los Angeles, moved to Hawaii, Back to LA, then Utah, then to the Kingdom of Tonga in the South Pacific, then back to California, then to Florida, then back to Hawaii, Now back in Florida. I hated moving with a passion so much as a youth, that now in my late 30s I really can’t find the motivation to finish anything. Stability and Foundation is paramount in the successful upbringing of children, IMO. I used to Love Baseball but was never treated well by teams of boys that grew up with each other. I was always the new kid, no matter where I was. To this day I resent my folks for never really giving me the opportunity to grow. I had to be the one be to make sure my little brother had his head on right, and taught him right from wrong. I’m so happy how strong of a man he is today, but damn I wish I could’ve just been a kid.

[@PatrickAllenNL]

Lose friends and it gets harder to find new friends to deeply connect with..THAT is what happens..I know....I recommend NOT moving after the kids finish middle school...

[@RedShirtSmith]

I mean, it'd definitely be a case of recognizing the context. I moved just after the ninth grade and it was one of the most beneficial things my parents have ever done for me. But I imagine that it is disruptive for most kids of that age group.

[@theenglishgentleman4847]

Moving during 8th grade to 10th grade is the worse I heard.

[@ohfr20]

I moved 5-6 weeks into high school I want to kill myself

[@richardgu1807]

I have moved 8 times already, and have been in 4 different elementary schools and 2 different middle schools (I am in middle school right now). Most of the time I can adjust easily, except when it comes to schools and their education system. For example, if you are living in a place with a good education system and you move to a place with a not-so-great education system, you will be way ahead education-wise when compared to the place with the bad education system. Or, if it is vice versa, you will notice at first that the other students in the good education system will be ahead of you by a lot. I find this especially hard, because of the teaching and grade expectation differences.

[@onk6229]

i think we have (kind of) similar situations. Keep in mind through this whole story that i am with my brother and mother. i don’t know if this counts because i was only 3, but first i moved to Velva from Williston (birth town). Then I moved to Minot at 7 years old to an abusive household (moms new BF’s house). I moved away from that when i was 10 and into a DVCC (domestic violence crisis center - a shelter) for a couple of months. After that, we went to stay at a mom’s friends house for a couple of months. Then we went back to Velva for 8 months. Then back to Minot to another one of my moms friends house for a couple months. Then we moved into my moms new BF’s house (non abusive). And now i’m 12, we’re still at her BF’s house, and they broke up so we’re moving back to Velva again. Also keep in mind that I’ve switched between 3 different schools 4 times. I envy those who have had a home they could call their childhood home all their lives, and i wish my mother got her damn life together sooner. so kinda similar i guess?

[@safenders]

I was moved many times. I was raised by a father from Cali and mother from NY. I was born in Cali and by the age of 3 we moved to NY. We then moved around the state of NY. At the age of 14 my parents thought it would be a good idea to move back to Cali. First year of high school knowing nobody was just great! At 16 my parents moved us back to NY. Moving is an adventure, but it does damage. This video confirms what my siblings and I have thought for years.

[@theenglishgentleman4847]

Imagine a childhood where you're so unimportant that you don't even deserve to have a home or even a life? it really gets to you and makes you feel less than a person. Like you don't even belong anywhere. Imagine the whole world or whole country being your home instead of just a village, town or city? sounds like a very messy and upsetting childhood if you ask most people. This study about frequent moving during childhood causing suicide and depression is also not new. It has been around for many years.

[@SaftayassIwanaqiqi]

Its so weird seeing people not move. Im 12 I lived in 5 countrys and went to 7. Im stuck in hingkong with no family apart from my mom dad and brother.

[@whatareallofthis]

The design of this study is so beautiful I want to cry.

[@KnightRaymund]

I moved when I was 12. 7th grade was the worst year of my life.

[@catherinecampbell1215]

I moved when I was ten months old, then five, then eight, then thirteen, then fifteen and then eighteen. I get how hard moving can be. I'm sorry to hear about that.

[@mustin07doesgaming]

With my dad in in the military, throughout my childhood, I moved very frequently. As a 17-year-old now, I've lived in 5 different places, as well as two places on two non-consecutive occasions. In fact, I've only lived somewhere for more than 2 years twice, and it was the same place on two non-consecutive occasions, and it was the place I was born. I lived there for 6 years, but half of those years don't really count, because I was a little kid and didn't know what was going on. As a kid, my social life was never perfect due to the frequent moving, but when I was 12 in 2019, we moved overseas, and while it was cool to see and experience a different country, it was at an enormous expense. I felt very far from home, and my social life was very compromised. Even with COVID, I still feel it could have been better. Looking back at my childhood, I will say it was cool to see so many places, but I feel the expense it had on my social life was not very good, because I have lost so many friends that way, and I have troble finding a place to call home.

[@pepperjack6749]

I moved 12 times before 8th grade as a navy brat. Multiple psychologists have told me I suffer from complex PTSD, indistinguishable from wartime trauma.

[@jontodd1994]

I had a therapist tell me that as well.. C-PTSD which has led to my attachment problems, anxiety, anger and substance abuse problems. To add on it I was also adopted so I look absolutely nothing like my parents (different races, culture) which means I've always had this little bit of separation from them emotionally, physically and spiritually. Also an only child, so every move was a severely disturbing and isolating event. Plus I just think I'm a sensitive individual. Perhaps if I had that go-getter attitude or some sociopathic traits I would of been better off.

[@elouisedehoog6107]

i moved 3 years ago and i am still so unhappy still crying every night. tried therapy everything you can imagine because of the "fact" i couldn't accept the fact that i moved. it wasn't the fact that i moved i had troubles with it was the fact i had no life here no happiness no single reason to be happy. my parents took that away from me. DON'T DO IT PARENTS

[@hannahaltman6414]

@Shazy Hooni I feel you, unlike you I have been to 4 elementary schools and 2 middle schools(im only 13 right now) This year I tried to give up making friends but my mom refused to let me give up. In the resort of all the moving I have tried to kill myself and I have cut myself. I do this because I want a restart in life where I stay in ONE place. My parents say we won't move again, they said that 3 schools ago, and life has been tuff. I always wish I was my brother and sister because when they were little they NEVER MOVED and they turned out so happy unlike me. I am sad and feel alone trying to "act happy" at school everyday which is getting harder as the days go on :(

[@ruvaiellenbrown8264]

I can relate to this as well

[@everythingisfake7555]

I moved to over 15 different living arrangements until 18, and a handful different schools, in different countries for some of them. I never had one living arrangement up until the age of 18 last more than 5 years. I had many gaps throughout my schooling and left with almost no qualifications. I had no siblings and was raised by a single mother with mental health issues. As an adult, I have no friends, most of my time has been spent indoors (which is not my natural inclination). I think I've learned that Isolation and videos games were a way to cope with an ever-changing environment that I had little connection to and almost no control over; it kind of works for a decade when you are a child, but not much longer. This is anecdotal evidence of course, but I can attest that moving a lot as a child has negatively impacted my life. I would recommend parents not do that, and if you must for some reason, at least be a two parent home with siblings; it gives you some normality and commonality to bounce off of at least.

[@Nathann-by2jb]

I moved all over and there and each time we moved the color of life faded away more and more. And then my dad died and life lost all meaning. There is something about building attachements and emotional connections with places when you are very young but cant grow that connection when your older. Or maybe its the ideation that my life was perfect then, which i remembered thinking repeatedly. I only lived there one year but i never felt more at home.

[@JM71195]

My family moved when i was in 3rd grade. Before the move i had a pretty healthy friend group. After the move i was frequently bullied and socially isolated and didn't make any lasting friends until 7th grade.

[@larrybobinski7156]

I had three different elementary schools, three jr. high schools, and luckily only one high school. We moved a lot.

[@theenglishgentleman4847]

I never moved as a child (thank God) but I did have a close friend who killed himself all because of being forced to switch schools and move allot as a child. He grew up to be a very confused and very angry chap who had depression ever since he was 20. May he rest in peace. Anyone who thinks that moving during childhood isn't a big deal should never have kids for the kid's sake. They are not adults, they are still teens who are not mature enough to have kids as well as not ready to have kids.

[@coolie77]

I moved to my current province when I was 7 years old and started elementary school. It was hard and I didn't make many friends, due to anxiety, depression and at the time they thought was high functioning autism. Then at age 12 just 1 year into highschool I manged to turn it all around made a group of friends finally knew how it felt to go to someone house after school and play games ect. Then parents moved again over boundaries but it was the same distance to either or highschool. I stayed in the same school because I fault for it and my sister was in her last year there so my parents though it would be not so bad. After my sister graduation they made me change schools without even looking into the school my needed the only factor being they would not have to drive me in or pick me up because a bus driver would do that. The school was a lot more underfunded, I got average grades, and there was no opportunity for after school play/recreation because if I missed my bus at 3:15 I would not go home it was a hour and a half bus ride there and back each day it was horrible. After falling into depression and being trapped either at school on a bus or at home with no public transit and just miles of forest between me and my old friends and any new ones I briefly made it was one of the worst points in my life. To this day I wished I had stayed where we where even if it was not the perfect situation, or at the very lest moved somewhere where I could have the ability to learn and grow and not be stuck on forest farm land trapped by miles of roads and trees with no way to get out till I was a adult and moved away from it all.

[@gregofcanada4494]

From K-12 I've been to 10 different schools, lived in three states and two Canadian provinces. And I think it messed with me. But having friends growing up and only having a toxic family as the only people in your life sucked.

[@matthewbuchholtz4170]

I moved a few times as a child and didn't particularly mind. Our last big move - from Massachusetts to North Carolina when I was 10 - was actually great. Our SES improved, I went to better schools, we lived in safer neighborhood, people were nicer, and the weather was much better. This is merely anecdotal, but I'm extremely thankful for that move.

[@AmiraElma]

Raised in Saudi Arabia for 7 years, then moved to Ohio for elementary school for 2 years, then Arkansas for elementary and middle school where I went to 2 different elementary schools in 5th grade. Finished middle school in Arkansas then moved to Massachusetts for high school. Now my family is moving to New York as I am about to be a sophomore in college and I have to decide if I start over again at a new college and be with my family at my hopefully new permenant state, or stay at my college and have no friends at my new state when I eventually move there to be with family in the future. It's been hard. Really really hard. I still suffer the effects of it to this day. I feel as if I don't have meaningful connections with others or any form of stability.

[@freyaporter99]

I moved from Wales to Sydney, Australia when I was 7, then to Queensland when I was 9. Looking back I found that I didn't form any proper social roots until I was 13, when I finally settled into high school and stayed there for the duration. I was very withdrawn and solitary, but my marks in school greatly improved because I was so isolated that reading, writing and schoolwork became more important to me. It's interesting to compare it to the life I might have lead back in the UK. I still have strong social and cultural bonds in Wales, but Australia feels like home now too. On the other hand, my little sister was 4 years old when we moved to Australia, and settled a lot more easily into Australian life, but has a lot less connection to our Welsh culture, which is hard for her to internalise and grow with as an adolescent. I know it's near impossible, but it would be so interesting to see the effects on moving to different countries for children and teenagers. From a firsthand experience, it's disruptive but also carries a lot of social benefits too.

[@monstrospotatoes8484]

I’ve grown up with attachment disorder because of my mothers death, when I was 16 my step mother moved us to a different province and I found it very hard to maintain my old relationships, and after I had mostly moved on and accepted my new life, she moved us again not even a year later. I barely hear from my friends and now I don’t want to make bonds with others in fear of them being broken on someone else’s whims, I feel very neglected emotionally.

[@melibadeli]

I think another important note to add is that the studies mentioned in this video focused only on children who moved within a single country. How do moves affect kids who have move across the globe and into different cultures as well as different schools? In other words, I think an episode on the psychological effects of being a Third Culture Kid would interesting.

[@matthewspurlock4350]

Thank you for explaining the last 7 and a half years of my life. I come from a healthy family so after I changed after the move everyone assumed I was being immature but I always felt “this is not my town, this is not my home, and I don’t have anyone who truly knows me” I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression (confirmed by doctors) ever since

[@remichloegoyo]

I was born in Baltimore, Maryland in Spring 1997 and I moved to Durham, NC in early June 1997 6 weeks after I was born and I moved to a very small town in Arizona a couple weeks after my 10th birthday and I moved here to Florida in late Summer 2009 when I was 12 & I did move schools a lot too I knew moving a lot as a child can cause a lot of problems later in life. When I have kids someday, they will be born & raised in the city they were born in.

[@riyazalibarook1997]

I am also 1997 Borner

[@riyazalibarook1997]

I am also 1997 Borner

[@TakeWalker]

I've always felt like I was a lot more outgoing and made friends easier before my family moved -- during Christmas break right in the middle of 5th grade -- than after. I was well into high school before I made any new, real friends, and in some ways, I never really recovered socially. Of course, I've got the autism, and it might have just been part of that time of life, but this rings true, personally. (Also, because of differences in when the two school districts started students on band, I never got to learn an instrument.)

[@juicestains52]

All I know is that if I have kids I ain’t doin that to them. Being pulled away from your home at a time when you’re most emotionally vulnerable is soul crushing.

[@jontodd1994]

It splinters your psychy. Especially when you have to emotionally deal with it on your own.

[@nolanthiessen1073]

Nice zoom at 0:11.

[@soggy6645]

totally caught me off guard

[@666ndr]

"have some chest"

[@Scixxy]

His neckline was VERY important.

[@RoflZack]

Hahahah why!???

[@IncandescentFlame]

That opening lapel close-up, though.

[@monkeyonfire13]

I knew it! I attended 8 different schools by the time i got to high school, and even then i changed high schools 3 times. This is worth looking into. Personally i would like a deeper episode.

[@Itsjettondon05]

I was homeschooled until 6th grade then switch schools twice in middle school and 3 times in high school the most recent is in a completely different state and it’s looking like imma spend my senior year in yet another school

[@Pilaf_Ross]

I moved a total of 12 times and attended 10 different schools across the country by the time I was 18. Luckily, during my 20s, I spent most of that diving into psychology and trying to figure out why people why. Through those years and gaining more understanding and perspective, I was able to figure out who I was and the events that led up to said point. I developed my own form of self therapy, and that helped me reach goals and milestones I never thought were possible over time. Life has a way of molding you as you gain experience. After all, you weren't born the same person you are presently.

[@Loathomar]

I think the moving is clearly hard on kids, but efforts to try to calculate it's effects are very changing. What cause the move might be a larger factor then the move it's self. Divorce or the lose of a job that cause a family to move for finical reasons would be two reasons for moving that would negatively kids. It would be interesting if that took into account divorces and trends in family income around the time of the move. My big question would be, what are the effects on kids when they are moved to increase income? An increase in income should, generally, have a positive impact on children, so how does that compare with the negative effects moving a child?

[@joyfullone3968]

I went to 4 grade schools, 1 middle school and 4 high schools and this occurred in 3 different countries. My father was a very restless person. I do not recommend this much school changing for anyone else ever!

[@canaryimpulse989]

Between the ages of 8-18 or so my family had moved about 10 times. I had to go back and check for that just now, not counting smaller 'moves' but actual great geographic shifts in where i lived. For me personally it had its ups and downs regarding my own situation but it is something I wouldn't do to my kids. I'd want 1-2 places we could afford to live in and have that be that.

[@LauraSomeNumber]

Proud to be a data point

[@speye22e]

As someone who had to switch school districts at age 12, I have to say that it was extremely difficult. I didn't make friends until I got to high school two years later. Once or twice I tried to keep track how long it took before I said anything during a school day; it broke at lunch time because the lunch ladies wanted verbal responses when they asked whether I wanted a particular food item. I was miserable and I frequently thought about suicide.

[@littlelostfinn]

I'm 32 this year and still haven't matched in years the number of moves since I was born (47). Went to over a dozen schools between 2 different countries back and forth. My husband was in the same home for his first 17 years. I cannot imagine yet desperately wish I could have had his childhood experience. I now belong nowhere and don't feel at home anywhere. I have no friends aside from my spouse.

[@Tgl400]

Your not alone 😢

[@catholicfemininity2126]

I was watching the movie Inside Out, and I realized that being a military brat, we moved when I turned 7. And have moved quite a few times since until I reached high school... I feel like moving was good at first, because sometimes I screwed things up as a kid and moving gave me a fresh new start, but at the same time I didn't have any close connections, I had to start over which was tough because a lot of people already have history, and my family was separated living in a different state. So it feels very lonely. Plus, we went from the east to the west cities, and I feel like cities are very cold and isolating.

[@lulurama3010]

My mother did not care we moved whenever she felt like it with no warning by my final year of school i didnt even bother making friends the was no point.

[@Kanshin]

5 elementary schools if you included the time I was home schooled (started public school in 2nd grade)1 middle school. 2 high schools (though not due to a move) Plus moved 1-3 times before I was old enough to start school....I don't think I had most of the problems listed. But I will say add being an introvert to all that and trying to form and keep friends is a nightmare. I don't Have any friends I talk to even simi regularly from grade school. (also this was all because my dad was a teacher and couldn't get tenure...)

[@jjmaguire8281]

When your young its scary but everything is... When you get older its exciting, always learning new places, people, ways of doing things, cultures. Being young you want to fit in not stand out. I couldnt imagine being born and raised in the same spot, i really feel sorry for people who havent really experienced different life styles...

[@sofiav.2462]

I moved across 4 different cultures in the span of 14 years. 2 elementary schools, 1 middle school, 3 high schools. I've had depression related to moving around every year, and anxiety that never got better from exposure. Now I have bipolar on top of that despite no family history of mental illness.

[@Aurora_veil1580]

I was in 8 different schools before I was in grade five, and at least 10 houses then before I stopped counting. I feel like it's fucked me up on a personal level- I avoid drugs/ violence/ etc as a rule because I understand such things as Very Bad and maybe being autistic helps follow that "rule" lol (though drugs can be tempting at times when I feel overwhelmed). But I do get angry and invalidate my emotions and lack a sense of identity and don't understand when something isn't my fault and don't understand that things don't need to be drastic if they change and I don't know how to feel like I am myself. I got depressed. I was already depressed because of other various reasons- but I really became a shell lost in it's own darkness. I didn't think love was real even on a platonic level. I couldn't take care of myself at all beyond getting really low effort things to feed myself like bread or cereal. I lost the motivation to go outside and interact with others. I started to completely isolate myself on purpose in school. I could not care about my grades. I felt too tired to go to school all the time regardless of my sleep. I actually did harm myself- but in non-traditional ways because I thought that would somehow mean I could get passed the rule in my head. And I wanted to desperately to have one thing to control- one thing that wasn't changing all the time- I thought maybe I could control myself. But I couldn't. I have lived in a state of not knowing who I am in truth- since I was in grade five and was finally promised I wouldn't have to move (schools) anymore- I had already stopped knowing who I am. So I freak out all the smallest changes in myself now...

[@TKR-ox9ff]

It began when I was a child. (I can't remember a specific age) it's that bad I never had a no significant other because of it I had to say goodbye far many times because it I had sacrifice far too many belongings because of it I had to stay in countless hotels, stayed in shelters with weirdos and bratty children. I had carry heavy luggage countless times. My mom polluted me with empty promises and rational bs & half baked ideas. Even now I'm in my twenties and we are moving AGAIN I have no job, no friends, no true life, no potential, no dreams, no nothing. This satanic moving every 5 min ruined my life. I wish I was put up for adoption and adopted by a rich couple. My mom should should've just faced it there's no way to raise two children with a low income life style without suffering gymnastics or developing Stockholm syndrome to an invisible emperor man from outer space. Planned parenthood could've been my salvation.

[@anne-mareegray8762]

my father worked in a bank in Australia and we moved every two years. As the last kid, I only had half a dozen schools. I promised my kids we would move as little as possible, especially wrt schools. I knew how it was...

[@wabbajackwabbajack6932]

So in other words....you need to get your shit together BEFORE you have kids? Who would have thought? lol

[@elliepredator_fan1111]

I think how isolated you are depends on where you’re moving to and where you’re moving from. I moved from a trailer in rural New York to the Oklahoma suburbs. Everyone at my school were complete snobs who thought they were better than me. I had zero friends and got bullied immediately. It’s not that bad anymore, but the loneliness is still very alive. Even to this, I have no sense of self.

[@jontodd1994]

That's the thing; no sense of self. It's very disturbing to walk through life without a consistent identity.. everything you do feels likes a lie even when it's objectively not.

[@computo2000]

I am a little disappointing. At the graphs, what do the number 1,2,3, e.t.c mean on the "attempted suicide" and "violent offending"? Maybe its they chance * which it is more likely for something to happen?

[@Kyrator88]

I'd like to say that it's not just the fact you lose friends that causes bad outcomes but the fact that you have trouble making new ones. If you could move and just magically make a new group of friends I am sure these outcomes wouldn't be as bad.

[@IceGuadian]

i have been uprooted many times in my youth, about 7 times before i was 16 and it has made it hard for my confidence as i constantly lost the friends i made probably has caused other problems for me too

[@theenglishgentleman4847]

Moving is never unavoidable. Especially when your children are teenagers. You can always rely on friends or family who live close by to be guardians for your kids if you have to move. All they have to do is want to or make a deal with them. That way your kids never have to move with you if you really have to move.

[@lazuris83]

could this be a similar situation for kids who lived in a military family in the U.S in the development of social issues from moving every 4 years of more? Is there any confirmed side effects for those kids?

[@DrowFighterMage]

It's fucking awful. Just fucking awful. Especially going from a place with a good special education program to one that didn't have anything at all.

[@luplaysgeetar]

making friends isn’t the problem but keeping them definitely is and the likelihood of those friends being closer than school friends/really good acquaintances is slim to none

[@Lollipops005]

I have been to 9 different schools, lived in 3 countries and idek how many cities. I've never lived in a house for any longer than 2 years and I turn 18 this year I just moved to a different country two years ago

[@backyardbiology1596]

Who else is here because they moved a lot when younger and are now messed up due to it? Just me?

[@angelairidescenceartglass6289]

Interesting and worth thinking about but a few serious caveats needed. Correlation does not equal causation and the factors going into a move as well as supports and individual factors that can impact changes in circumstances are going to mean there is some serious need for a multi-factor regression analysis to reach the most likely causal links. Enough here for follow up studies, but not enough for panic. Yes, moving will impact a child. Common sense. How much and if positive or negative is going to depend on a whole host of factors. Just one more thing to consider.

[@cilginkosucu]

It definitely is tough but my anecdote shows reverse causality because I foster child my entire childhood, attended 13 different schools, two in 1st, three in 2nd, two in 4th & 5th.

[@spectrumblossom2512]

My mom would think that this is a huge lie and I have autism and my mom gives me less and less love each day and I moved from Merritt to Nanaimo away from friends and family I don't know any one on this island letelong in Nanaimo and every day I think more and more about committing suicide I need some help my mom won't help me she doesn't understand that I need love not pills because all she does is makes me take more pills and I have been going through depression for two years now and my mom doesn't believe me and through those years I only had my friends to help please can you give me some advice so I don't commit suicide

[@weenisw]

Someone please help this person

[@viclarson2968]

Why was it all close up in the opener?

[@Hezkun]

And some people have the gall to go on a permanent road trip with their kids, like a family of nomads

[@phillysub5115]

I moved twice and had to change schools before the age of 10. It sucked!

[@absojake]

Moving helped me tremendously. I was living in an area where I was bullied for being small and the teachers just assumed I was too dumb to do well in school and tracked me to lower level classes, instead of handling the bullies. When I moved my average grades went from low Cs to low As. Now I have a PhD in physics. The argument of social ties at the end assumes that social ties are always positive, which is really not the case. If anything the dependence it causes results in a lack of individual performance. Treating assumptions like these with a significant regard is part of the reason psychology in terms of the mind and ego has major flaws. I could agree with moving very frequently could cause too much instability for a child to succeed. A child cannot evolve if it never has time to adapt. So army kids could be affected by this. But breaking a child away from a social niche once or twice could be beneficial. Thus the moving as a sign of family instability, especially in europe where being mobile is discourage, is the likely connection. I bet if you isolated the unstable families out, you would find a net benefit for a small number of moves.

[@agafaba]

I would think in most cases breaking social ties would not be a positive thing, especially when you consider that someone could move into the situation you moved away from. Usually kids have positive social ties even in situations of bullying. (with kids not bullying them of course)

[@Kyrator88]

If a child is not being bullied at school and then moves to another school where they are not being bullied that will still be a negative outcome as they lose ties that they spent time building up. Obviously moving from not being bullied to being bullied is also bad, that leaves only your specific situation as a positive. That means 2/3 of the outcomes of moving are negative so I very much doubt that moving frequently has a net benefit as you seem to imply since "family instability" is a very vague phrase. If the parents move to get a better paying job is that family instability? How is that different from moving to get a better school for your child? What if said school even if better academically ends up being bad for your child socially? Those are just a couple of the very obvious questions that come up when you use such a vague phrase such as "family instability" And I don't know where you live but at least where I live there are multiple school relatively close to where I live so if your school situation was so bad you should have moved school. In that situation you would have had the benefit of keeping any social ties you'd like to keep from the old school as you still live in the same area as well as improving your academic situation. So no, moving is not beneficial for kids.

[@theenglishgentleman4847]

I'm old fashioned so bullying never bothered me. It was fun fighting them back anyways. Moving sure would have messed me up for life though. Moving isolates kids from their own lives.

[@janetpantbarry9188]

This is something I didn't even know there was data to...nice to see that the study is solid.

[@artemis908k]

i had 6 different 1-8 grade schools and 2 diff highscools. And currently have 0 friends FeelsBadMan.

[@haleyelizabeth3926]

As a child who has moved more than twenty times in my life time, I can understand how moving can be difficult for children. This video shows many of the comparisons that were found between a move and a child’s live and help. He points out that there could be many different reasons why a family decides to move a child from a school district, whether it be because of an outside reason or because of the child themselves. Regardless of why the move occurred, such moves resulted in disastrous impacts on the child’s life. He pointed out how the children that had more than on residential move increased both the potential for attempted suicide, and violent offenses to occur in the older life. Although this is proven data, I do not believe that such moves can have an entirely bad effect on the child. Speaking for myself, I have chosen to take my many moves as an opportunity to explore many different places and break out of my comfort zone to make new friends. I believe that although many moves can have negative impacts on a child’s life, they can increase the opportunities that a child has throughout their life.

[@margospeigelman6747]

I always forget how much I love healthcare triage, you're awesome :) Subscribed

[@polyanthesis]

I have wonder. My family moved a lot due to us being refugees. I always attributed the frequent moves to my resilience in later life.

[@jml21000]

how the heck did Denmark do that

[@rosetakablahfuck]

.... I wanna see a study on military family.......

[@McGillOSS]

Hey! Can you post sources for this please?

[@butterflybeth89]

I would be REALLY interested to see the data from the military on military kids (if there is any). I'm a military kid myself and moved 10 times before I turned 20. While I do think it benefited me (made me more adaptable, independent, more capable of dealing with stressful situations etc), I have seen a trend of military kids developing Bi-polar disorder, anxiety, depression and Borderline Personality Disorder (a big increase in the latter since the war and increase in deployments especially). Unfortunately, the military seems to be responding by taking away resources from these kids instead of providing them.

[@cm3655]

Doesn't this episode answer your questions? It doesn't matter why these children move (military kids, kids from bankrupt parents, kids moving due to parent's career choices), the point is that moving too many times during adolescence can lead to more bad outcomes. You can read the entire study.

[@thecdnwanderer]

Dr Carroll was careful to say the moves aren't a guarantee of causality. He said there's a correlation between moving and bad outcomes. I agree with butterflybeth89 that it would be interesting to see if there are further differences at the extremes. Regardless of what that deeper data shows, or even what the causality or direction of causality is, it would be smart for all healthcare systems to use this data to increase resources available for kids who are moving. Particularly for those who move more than once during childhood.

[@larrybobinski7156]

Well in recent history a lot of that can be brought on by the stress of frequent deployments. Not having a parent in the home for years at a time is difficult regardless of circumstance. And if the parent has a combat MOS, not knowing from day to day if said parent is going to be KIA can especially be stressful.

[@keturahspencer]

I was lucky to live anywhere for a year. It's definitely a marker of chaos, especially when it's perpetual.

[@saint23thomas]

I wanna know what effects moving without changing schools had.

[@Desert2GardenLV]

I tend to disagree with this idea. From age 7-18 my family moved every 2 yrs. My father was moving up the corporate ladder. To this day I have lived in 11 states. I believe this turned me into a very well rounded and adapted person. I learned early to socially integrate in new communities and also develop my own ideas. This helped me act on my thoughts and follow my dreams. Now in my 30s Im happy, healthy and proud with how I grew up.

[@SuperLazyCat]

lucky you

[@theenglishgentleman4847]

So? some violated people and divorced kids grow up fine and still normal as well. It's also possible to smoke without ever dying of a disease.

[@rollando2000]

on your advice i got my son circumcised thank you for your unbiased science based advice. PS my son is 32

[@EmpressAndrina]

I got screamed at by my attending for mentioning research discussed on this show. Oh well, still gonna keep watching and learning.

[@MewtwoShineX]

lol, I thought by "moving," you meant like having any physical movement.

[@ken.the.person]

i went to three elementary schools in three different countries

[@aprilhottinger]

Gangstalking isn't good for children either but my child has to endure it with me so I think he'll be okay if we move

[@mormedical]

Boarding School, would be interesting.

[@cm3655]

Was this episode inspired by Inside Out? Just wondering lol...

[@sanctious]

I wonder how this applies to military kids

[@g.f.w.parker5485]

lmao That zoom was amazing.

[@TacComControl]

Uhm... Was that edit intentional? I mean, that clip of Aaron's chest was... random. Very random.

[@nab6215]

Denmark is awesome.