Heidi's Story - Touched by Suicide

[@murfdog19]

When a person diagnosed with depression suddenly seems to be doing better without explanation, that is the time to truly worry. That is when they have made peace with ending their life.

[@Stratubery]

You got that right, Tim. I have very strong feelings about this, so suffer me to add that when a person diagnosed with depression suddenly seems to be doing better, the fact is that either they _are indeed_ doing better, or, as Tim says, they have made peace with ending their life. How can you know? And it's important to know now, I guess, ain't it? Yeah it is. *How you know* - or as Heidi wondered and admitted that she didn't know in her final statement in this video, that is, "knowing how to talk to somebody" - is giving the depressed person exactly the thing the lack of which drove them to the depression in the first place: Talking, listening, and holding on to them in deep and continual conversations, not about their schooling, or their friends, or their relationships, or their experiences, or their plans, or their prospects, or their perspectives, or their past, or their feelings, or their opinions, or their politics, or current events, or reassurances of love and support, or any of that other junk that we peddle to each other as family, but rather about four things: our own individual personality _per se;_ our own sexuality _per se;_ our own sociality _per se;_ and our own creativity insofar as it may uniquely express those things specifically. Those first three topics are attributed to us all individually in a triune fashion within, which three attributes compose what the Bible refers to as the "image" of God in which we are made, which most people could give a moist shit about, but of which certain sensitive souls are starved without its direct relational sustenance. Even if a suicidal soul backs away from the act, one must test their apparent peace by talking, listening, and holding on to them about what is truly within, which is the image of God as I have described it. I am telling you the truth. Counseling and reassurances of love and belonging are dust in the wind to a soul whose created image is starving. If a person does not respond to being talked, listened, and held on to or cherished regarding his or her personality, sexuality and sociality as three distinct attributes of one creative soul, then that person, who has been possessed of depression and suicidal ideation, is in precisely the perilous and deceptive state that Tim describes. That's how you "talk to somebody," and that's how you know where such a loved one is really at. God help us to believe.

[@2326038]

@@Stratubery Thank you for sharing. I hope your words get to the people who really needs to hear them.

[@cakesandpi]

Lol depression is just code for life’s a bitch. If they couldn’t medicate it to make money it wouldn’t be a thing, it wouldn’t have a name but life’s a bitch.

[@brisamartinez1]

Tim Murphy Honestly yes. People need to look out especially around those times.

[@Sheila612Miller]

cakesandpi No life's a bitch at times for everyone. Depression is a whole different level. It actually physically hurts amongst many other things. Life now is a bitch for me (financially, etc etc ) I'm not depressed or suffer depression. My middle son has severe depression,anxiety,social anxiety disorder since he was 11 or 12 when he got diagnosed. As a mom at first I thought awww shake that shit off its ok. What on earth could a 12 yr old be depressed about you don't pay shit for bills but now looking back I think about a ton of signs I should have seen that my oldest and youngest didn't do or say like my middle one did. Yes everyone's different but there are signs and sometimes we are too busy in life to listen,especially single mom's that have to work alot to provide. Things that pissed me off to my core send him into bad depression with the news showing what idiot Trump does or says, or school shootings. A simple please tweet across a phone or walking past a tv and hearing the tv and something bad. So it's way,way deeper then life's a bitch my friend. People don't end their life because they had a life a bitch type of day.

[@christierella]

I lost my 28 year old son 02-16-19. My only child. I can't wrap my mind around it. I am broken forever. Sorry for your loss Heidi.

[@Barkley2010]

Christie Trout I am so sorry for your loss.😥😥❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@debblackmore7460]

Bless all reach out get help your not alone sending love from UK xx

[@caryn2492]

I am so so sorry for you loss. I can't imagine how difficult that is for you. I am praying for you...

[@angelwingzzz777]

😔Im soooooooo sorry. I lost my son . Not to suicide. And I can't imagine. Hugzzz to you.❤

[@tomfazio2965]

Caryn Addonizio Jesus have mercy on us and the whole world.

[@NewellDaugherty-wu2su]

People Don’t Want to Kill Themselves They Just Don’t Know How to Kill the Pain!!!!!!!!! Every Thunderstorm Runs Out of Rain!!!!!!

[@seriousbroski]

Thank u for this

[@michelelandrum267]

True

[@jamiMB]

Sadly true. And the most painful is when you realise that they had been suffering so much that couldn't tolerate it and made such a desicion, despite knowing how the remaining will grieve and suffe.

[@domo201]

Hey Cory’s mom, I don’t know you but I’d like to tell you a few things. I struggled the way your son did when I was that age. Im 22 now and I keep on fighting everyday. I don’t know your sons specific situation but I know the turmoil of living with depression. Depression blatantly lies to you. It breaks you down over and over until you feel everything is pointless, nothing matters. I’m sure Cory loved you but because of the severity of the depression it clouded his judgement so he thought that suicide was the only way out. I hope you can take comfort in knowing that your son is no longer suffering. His pain has ended and he’s at peace. The world is cruel to the bone, life can be utterly disappointing. But the fact is that it can also be equally fulfilling and rewarding. We can’t choose our situations but we can choose how we respond to it. The rippling of this tragedy will blossom inspiration and purpose in the generations to follow. my hope is you find peace with this, if you haven’t already, forgive yourself and your son, let your pain drive you to draw a newer meaning and discovery of life for you and your family.

[@SD619NINI]

Wow! Thank you for sharing! Continue to press forward and do not give up, you matter. I lost my amazing husband 3weeks ago and still can't believe it! God Bless you!

[@joshie1956]

Nick Here’s wishing you the strength you need to keep up the fight, and hoping that as time moves on you have more good times than bad, more memories to treasure than to forget and more happy days than sad. Take care bud and I wish you all the good luck in the world I may not know you but please believe me when I tell you that I care for you and everyone that feels there is no future for them, please try to carry on and if you can’t I for one will never hold it against you. 🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊

[@jeff1385]

Keep fighting Nick

[@staciagorden4332]

Such a beautiful reply Nick. Thank you for sharing your insight. My son has had the same struggles, and this has helped me understand. Take care of yourself. You have a lot to offer the world.

[@2352anne]

@@staciagorden4332 well said!

[@egush8126]

I think the world is far more cruel than it used to be. Its so much harder for kids today. She shouldn't blame herself. She did her very best. She is a great mother. You can just tell.

[@kawaiicookie2294]

E gush yup. I suffer from anxiety and depression and people tell me it’s just cuz I’m a teen. I’ve attempted suicide 2 times. Both times as lived and no one cares. Every day is hard, but I am trying.

[@gmcb280]

Oofer Lipa people care stay strong ❣️

[@Jeanne701]

How EXACTLY is the world more cruel? I’m 55 I’d love to know cos to me the kids today got it made. Look at what they have. Unlimited food (look at all the fat kids today) games phones a car given to them, birthday parties are such a joke. I had one birthday party in my life I was 5 years old. Kids today HAVE IT MADE!!!!!!

[@User18dog]

JJ R you may think that and although they may have it made material wise, they are in hunger for a purpose and fulfillment. I think that is the biggest problem young kids face today, it’s much harder to find and do jobs you love nowadays than back then. You also have social media which makes everyone compare themselves to one another constantly everyday, so they create an image in their head as to how people are supposed to behave and act.

[@miguelvidal2335]

@@User18dog Well said.

[@michaelwoodaz1057]

I have tried so hard to die in my life. 9 attempts. Here’s a young kid who died the first time and all I can think is the pain in Heidi’s eyes. The same pain my mom felt as I laid in hospitals attempt after attempt. I am so sorry that you’re going through this. Your video made me break down because my mom and dad fought hard too, my body would just not let me die. I’m sorry your son passed away I will say an extra prayer tonight. Thank you for sharing your story with me. 1 life was saved (me) because of Corey’s story.

[@tams.114]

I am glad you are still here Michael. God bless you.

[@brendafoster9753]

God bless you ❤

[@DeborahRose2885]

It's not ÿour body that won't let you die its God your creator that keeps saving you over and over he has big plans for you

[@juanitajasso4116]

My heart ♥️ is so broken, I will never be the same.😭 My Presious son committed suicide in 2014 by laying down on the tracks and letting the train hit him. My son was 30 years old he had a family, wife and 3 kids. I give the Lord all the praise and honor for helping me through this life I have to go through. I’m praying for u and Your Family God Bless

[@gpaul9206]

Omg my son cummit suicide too on Sept 24 / 19 the pain u can't explain so I understand your pain

[@DMills-un1tl]

Someone I cared about jumped in front of a train two weeks ago. She was a gorgeous girl with the insides to match. I will never know why she chose this horrific way to leave 😔 Peace to you

[@ins...5635]

@@DMills-un1tl May you be in Peace & May your relationship with God become stronger!♥💖💕🤲🌹

[@ins...5635]

May you be in Peace & May your relationship with God become stronger!♥💖💕🤲🌹

[@Sohraiyah1]

My son Michael committed suicide June 11th of 2016. I know her struggle well. There isn't a day that goes by where I wish I could just talk to him one more time. He caught his wife cheating and it was the final proverbial straw on his back.

[@lupitaortizcouoh3464]

Sohraiyah Swain my Son did it too..! November 27th , 2016 ... he had troubles with his girlfriend .. he was 28 th years old..

[@lupitaortizcouoh3464]

Sohraiyah Swain I am very sorry got your lost ..

[@brandonkanis3016]

I am so sorry my 13 year old brother hung him self on mother's day

[@lupitaortizcouoh3464]

Brandon Kanis I am very sorry for your lost. QEPD your brother.! Sorry, sorry ... big hug.!

[@jeff1385]

I am sorry

[@miarobinson4538]

As a child in sophomore year with almost the exact same story, and I’ve been considering suicide lately again, and hearing you talk about it hurt so badly because idk if my parents would care or hurt like this if I did it, but it just touched me in a way I can’t explain, I feel like Cory is the little voice in my head right now saying don’t do it, its not worth it.

[@Jjjcope]

Change your life you say ?? Life is to much . Being a burden is more than most can live with

[@gultenadiguzel7888]

Jennifer no one is a burden!We are all in this world for a reason which is to share our gift and help others.So your ignorant comment is ridiculous.

[@Jjjcope]

Gulten Adiguzel I am sorry . I am ignorant.im sorry

[@Jjjcope]

Gulten Adiguzel you proved my comment

[@gultenadiguzel7888]

Jennifer Cope no need to say sorry,I must have comment incorrectly.

[@tonymoreland5742]

I lost my child to suicide at the age of 22. Thank you for sharing your story so openly.

[@MWorsa]

@@abhishekpatel7116 Sill alive?

[@pambennett4859]

I lost my son to suicide at the age of 22. I just lean on Jesus everyday to help me cope. I know your pain.

[@SD619NINI]

I'm sorry for your loss, I lost my husband 3weeks ago to suicide and never saw it coming. We are broken, devastated and so many mix emotions. Thank you for sharing! God Bless you🥀

[@latoyascott8043]

Cindy you are in my prayers 🙏🙏🙏. Take it a day at a time and pray for strength to get you through this time in your life. Love you!!!

[@annhughes1503]

Cindy Gonzalez I am really sorry for your sad loss of your husband

[@madzazmarland3785]

I'm so sorry for your loss, how are you doing now? Hope you've found some comfort in the knowledge that Heavenly Father knows his heart and mind. It will not reflect on his eternal future. Take care and God bless

[@SD619NINI]

@@madzazmarland3785 Hi, my three daughters and I are at the acceptance phase and we now know he will never come back! July 14th would have been his 45th bday(so that’s really hard) we do not celebrate holidays ever since and we are not the same! Our home feels empty and I feel like we are always disagreeing and we all try to avoid each other (we feel lonely and broken)!. It’s still a struggle to move on but we know that’s what we have to do! My daughters are all in college now and never took a break from school and are all doing amazing and I have three jobs so I stayed really busy(I think we all stayed so busy just so we would be tired and not think about our reality). We actually do not talk about our loss or the way it happen, we just say it was an accident (we don’t want him being judge) so it’s still hard! I honestly wish I wasn’t here anymore but I have to keep pushing for my daughters! It’s been difficult to not have my bestfriend of 27 years and high school sweetheart with me, we were suppose to grow old together 😭. It’s been 2.5 years since this happen and you have been the first person to ask how we are doing, thank you for caring! We are doing as best as we can as a family, trying to be here for each other! Thank you for asking!

[@tams.114]

Cory's mom, my heart is so saddened for you. Everyone pray for my son. He isolates and I know he's dealing with depression.

[@dianecelento4974]

I pray your son gets better.

[@epigisaac8547]

Thank you for sharing and being so open..I lost my 17yr old son Jan.6 2021 I just now have been able to say he's gone. I didn't know he was in so much pain and I feel so guilty for every bit of pain he ever felt. I have started listening to other stories and how they started healing.. You are truly what I needed to hear this morning. Thank you God Bless you and your family

[@chrissylane2323]

Sorry for your loss. I am so blessed that you do not blame yourselves. You did everything you could.He was a tortured soul on earth suffering from depression and now he rest in Gods arms. Finally resting

[@Frantictoad]

Wow really, that’s it ? You could not for a second see that it’s all about her. All she needed was to listen and be gentle instead of being such a control freak

[@mikevickers1391]

I'm watching this from New Zealand Heidi, your story just suddenly appeared on my KZbin screen. I'm so sorry for your loss, its over 6 years since your son passed, I do send you my best wishes...you seem to be a really nice person, caught up in a tragedy not of your making.

[@margaretadami6358]

This video is helping me so much,,,I wish I could be face to face talking No to u right now. My son took his life 3 weeks ago,,,42 yrs old. I’m battling with the old myth, but I prayed for him for Years, and in fact was praying for him the morning after not knowing he was already gone, ,,,, God bless you

[@rkworth1]

so sorry for your loss. we lost our 16yr daughter to suicide 2 years ago. it has been so hard - just to keep going. we try to honor aleia every day - even as simple as posting comments on things like youtube. you are not alone. thank you for sharing.

[@TrialTappersMentalHealthTips]

I lost my brother to suicide a few years ago and your story is very impactful. Thanks so much for sharing your pain and growth with others.

[@angelwithinme1]

I'm so sorry, He was a handsome young man. My oldest son was diagnosed with Schizophrenia at age 18 1/2 and he's 34 now. He tried to end his life once but thank God he got treatment.

[@paiiininthebutt7209]

What a sad, heartbreaking, soul destroying thing to have to live with. Rest In Peace Cory

[@based_mediumchungus1788]

he does not deserve to rest in peace, he is selfish and is a mega-coward.

[@jamieclips8129]

@@based_mediumchungus1788f you

[@sarahbentall3419]

I am looking at this mum right now. I just wanna say please make peace with yourself. Suicide is no one's fault, Corey knew his mum and dad loved him too bits he just couldn't walk another day of pain. So now Corey is at peace, please forgive yourself because your a top mum. The fact you are talking and breathing still tells me you are strong. If someone has depression and they say they are fine, they normally need a hug and someone to say are you ok? Saying are you ok can save someone's life.

[@elizabethiliov4764]

Heidi I’m so sorry for your loss. I feel exactly the same way you do. I lost my son to Suicide 4 months ago and I didn’t see it coming. I’m barely coping with the loss but I have two other daughters that I have to live for. Every day is a struggle and I’m constantly going over the what if’s and why my son. Seeing and hearing other parents talk about loosing a child helps me understand that I’m not alone. So thank you for sharing your story. May God give you strength to continue this journey of grief. Until we reunite with our sons again

[@debblackmore7460]

Bless you all Angel's now shining in heaven sending love from UK xx

[@REBTellis]

May God comfort you

[@angelinagulizio5830]

I had a friend I've known for 44 years At one time we were childhood sweethearts but remained friends since He had a great son a beautiful grandbaby just bought a new house and was going to retire in a year I had called him after the holiday and his son told me he took his life No one can figure it out All my years I would call him when I was feeling down and he always made me feel better When I say he was a part of my life I mean he was one of the BEST thing Nobody knows what's really going on in someone's life I hope he is at peace and pray I will see his smile again Anyone that feels unhappy or needs to talk to someone PLEASE PLEASE find help there's someone out there that loves you ❤ Miss you S everyday Love you

[@davidhumphries1146]

Easier to listen to the problems of others than deal with your own.

[@ZFern9390]

❤❤❤❤

[@jerolvilladolid]

At 16 years old I also attempted suicide. Twice. Im now in my early 30s and looking back I cant help but be shocked how a teenage me can think of anything more stupid because at that youthful age the world is literally your oyster. My reasons for going to that dark place when I was 16 was the transition. From being a boy to being a man. From highschool to college. From being a child to being independent in life. Im sure this is probably the same stresses your son endured at the same age as I was when I went through the same crisis. The key is to keep listening to your 16 year olds for anything they would like to open up. The two most difficult periods of a person’s life are his teenage years, and his middle age. When he transitions from a child to an adult, and from an adult, into old age.

[@NewellDaugherty-wu2su]

Scars of the Mind far exceed the scars of the flesh.

[@mariebuxton3042]

Thank you for sharing your son Corys story... he sounds likes awesome guy... my heart goes out Toyota and your husband and kids... I lost my son KYLE to suicide he was 21 barely) My heart is hurting so bad that it feels like it’ll kill me. My son was so smart and sweet and handsome. I’ve got all the same fillings you’re going through. One day I want to tell KYLEs story.. may you find peace and comfort in your family and friends.. praying for you

[@DreamyCicada33001]

I now truly see the pain it puts people through im 20 years old and ive been feeling like doing it for awhile now but since I've watched these videos and seen what it does to their family afterwards is terrifying I've also seen you comment on alot of these videos and just know your pain and all the people in these videos pain is making me push through cause i can really see what it type of impact it has i will be reconsidering my thoughts and i hope you heal for your pain your son is at peace now and i hope you overcome your grief lifes short and you'll see him in the afterlife and he'll be pround you pushed through

[@mariebuxton3042]

Ryan I’m so sorry you’re going through some tough days. I’m hoping you’ve got family to talk to, Because I’m here if you need someone to just listen to you.here’s my number 503-803-1107 My name is Marie Please leave a message and I’ll call you back. Please please don’t do anything I know you don’t know me, but this has devastated me and Kyles brother,Jason! We both can talk to you. Please try and stay Because Kyle just didn’t know how much we all love him and his friends Loved him, they’re all devastated...please if you can call sometime When you’re feeling down Please reach out Kyle took the very best part of me My heart went with him. Sending you LOTS OF PRAYERS LOVE AND HUGS RYAN FACEBOOK HAS A THING ITS CALLED SUICIDE PREVENTION IF YOU GO ON THERE JUST READ ABOUT WHAT THE FAMILIES ARE SAYING THANK YOU FOR YOUR MESSAGE IM PRAYING FOR YOU

[@DreamyCicada33001]

Thank you marie for caring so much i dont have any friends to talk too and i cant really talk to my family about that kind of stuff cause they dont know what to say except for to threaten to have me put back in the mental ward so ill keep you in mind im gonna save your number and if i ever feel like how i did the other night ill text you or give you a call it'll be from a (234) area code and i dont use social media anymore but ill check the group out just to see cause i sometimes go on facebook market place im fine now tho not as bad as i was the other night again thank you for caring it really means alot

[@mariebuxton3042]

Ryan,of course I care!! I wish one person would’ve reached out to Kyle. But family, friends turned their back on him, I tried itwasn’t good enough... He was 21, So I’ll be here for you I don’t want you to feel alone Because if I could’ve saved Kyle I would’ve in a heartbeat He hid his depression from everyone but me.he still lived at home . I have so many regrets with him and all the things I wish I would’ve said... Please let me help if you get to that place - You call me, I’m not a professional in anyway But I’m a Mom that has lost her son to depression. Please take care of yourself and get lots of rest and eat well I’ll be praying for you Love and hugs Kyles Mama Goose (That’s what he called me) Have a good night

[@DreamyCicada33001]

Thank you so much ill for sure keep your number and contact you if i feel that way and i hope you feel better too have a good night

[@DMills-un1tl]

I just lost my 7th friend to suicide. For those left behind the pain is intense and lingering and cumulative.

[@evjogkg344]

It’s not about you. I’m sorry.

[@logansmom1192]

My son Logan was 16. He had never threatened suicide or seemed suicidal. He planned his suicide in advance and even wrote his note 3 days in advance. His last 3 days he seemed fine. Things were fine. He planned his suicide in a way to not do it at home because he didn’t want me to be the one to find him or attempt CPR. He was found more quickly than he had anticipated though and so I had him in ICU, although he never regained any consciousness, and I am so grateful for that time in ICU.

[@chrisc1896]

I am so sorry to hear that. ☹️

[@sophiebean2023]

So sorry🫂

[@southerngirl8086]

I can still see the pain in mom eyes 🙏🏽 sending you prayers and positive energy & thoughts.... 🙏🏽 RIP Cory

[@Jaglilpill75]

We must learn that depression is so much more deviant and serious and we as parents need to really lissen and make the time, sometimes suicide is the first sign for the family, where the child was keeping it all to it self💔💔 I feel for you and your family ❤️

[@azryder2919]

Being born and raised lds. It absolutely is a ton of unnecessary pressure being in the church. I got out, found Christianity and learned Jesus did it all. Its done, no more. I pray you will find the truth. ❤ Thank you for sharing your story

[@arthurgearheard4701]

On You Tube, the Binghams are popular. They're LDS. Everything seems fine with them.

[@debbiegross3136]

This is a strong lady. Suicide has “touched” my life but it was not my child. I don’t think I could have, myself, survived that. I can’t imagine that type of pain.

[@patearl4036]

You have no choice ...thats the knife turning and turning in your already wounded heart. Your family needs you.

[@m00dsw1ngs]

I was just out of my sophomore year that same year so me and Cory should be the same age. I’m 20 now and I struggle with the same thing and i am so sorry to hear about your son. He seemed like a beautiful soul and a nice guy to be around. God Bless.

[@ins...5635]

May you be in Peace & May your relationship with God become stronger!♥💖💕🤲🌹

[@johnmiller7453]

Health care "professionals". I wish I had never talked to any but one of them. So that's maybe one out of 6. We call anyone a professional in this country.

[@bonniejohnson760]

Fully agreed to. Theres a BIG difference between a real professional whose humble and caring enough to get further training so they can better serve their patients and an " educated" fool....A narcissist that doesnt apply the hippocratical oath FIRST, DO NO HARM!!! These are quacks that should have their licenses revoked.

[@JessicaSalasS]

So many times i wanted to be extra tuff on my teens, but i knew that they could take there life’s so it was extremely tuff to back off and understand it’s there life journey and my job is to feed, love, provide for them and try to be understanding. My kids didn’t turn out how i wanted them too, they didn’t go to the colleges, and so on but my kids are alive and living there life’s. I count my blessings. I know what loss is and i know life is short.

[@imbroken3860]

You are a wonderful momma!!!!!!

[@monicasoledad]

I appreciate your comment. I believe parents add a lot of pressure on kids. We expect a lot of them. I too love my boys unconditionally, I never pressured them to go to college or be straight A students. They are wonderful boys and I love them.

[@GCAT01Living]

Thank you for actually reaching out and getting him help,. even though it didn't save him. My anxiety and depression started around my freshman year of high school and my parents were grossly unsupportive. 25 years later, I am still suffering with these conditions and they've slowly gotten worse. I wish my parents would have just taken me to see someone.

[@lukeduke1440]

There is a pain so intense that it cannot be explained. Both from the individual to the family left to try and make sense of the loss of their loved one. I can tell you that it comes down to not seeing a way out.....ever!

[@doreneleigh9148]

I am so very sorry for your loss,I lost a daughter to suicide and a grandson,it is a soul destroying thing to go through,you're broken forever.prayers and love to you.

[@mummabearcuddles7956]

Lost my husband of 30yrs demons of depression got to strong for him. His choice to leave earth 28/4/18 ... Learning to live in the pain one day at a time as best as I can. I hope he’s found the peace ... hugs of strength to all 🥰🤗💌💕💝💙

[@wljustin]

Mumma bear Cuddles I’m sorry ❤️

[@janicerepass6996]

You will never know how many people you might have helped by sharing your story and Cory's story. Parents who've lost a child to suicide, teenagers who feel that period of hopelessness that drives them to think this is their only answer. I am so sad that you've had to deal with such a loss, so sad that Cory could not see another way, sad for the life he is not getting to live, and all the gifts he might have brought to the world. But I am so happy for you that you have your faith to sustain you, and that you know, in your heart, that it will save Cory, too. Your beautiful boy will be with you, always, and you shall be together again, where there is no sadness or pain. You, Cory, and your whole family will be in my prayers as you move forward together. May God bless you for your caring heart that enabled you to want to share your story. xox

[@imeaganmooresepilepsylifem8660]

Hi Cory's mom I live in Utah and in 2013 I lost my uncle Joe to suicide and then in 2018 I lost my friend Cameron to suicide and my uncle Toby tried to commit suicide but lived but lost a eye and then in 2019 I lost my cousin Richard to suicide and they where all the ages my friend Cameron was 19 my uncle Joe was 23 my cousin Richard was 30 and my uncle Toby that tried to commit suicide but lived is 16 and it was all very hard for me so I get what you are going through

[@imeaganmooresepilepsylifem8660]

@Malaina Johnson so yeah my cousin Richard committed suicide this month by hanging himself down in my aunt's parents basement

[@imoutbye]

My guess is not generic but it’s the Utah and Mormon culture

[@lonia.5283]

May Cory Rest in Peace. God Bless you ❤️🌷🙏

[@stephenfermoyle1498]

yes

[@cindyrauser336]

Ut uutu tuutututuut utuutututututuuuutuututuutuutuuttuu tuis uutututututuututuu tuwas uutut utuututtutututuuttutututututu tutututuuuu tyutu uttutuu was tut ututututut utuutuutu tuutututututututututut utututututuuuuututuuuu tuutuuu utut utututuuu u uu ututuuut utu tutut uu utut uuututuutuututuutuuutuuuuu uuutu tutuutu uu uututu utuwas utu tu uuuuuu utuututuutuutut uwas tuwas uutuu tutwas uuutuutuutuuu uu utu uu tuu uuutuwas tettetu eteterutetteeuteueteutete tetr uteteeuteu tu uu uuteteuteueteeeteteteuteteueeteuteteuu tuutu uu tuuteeutueteetuetetueteueteuteuetuuteeu tuteutewas eutuwtetu tutu tu tu wasa a

[@patearl4036]

As someone who was raised in LDS church. I saw so many boys around this age who when faced with the pressures of doing their missions, their mandatory missions, they couldnt deal and took their lives. I knew many who also, after they returned from being ridiculed, bullied beaten and struggling to reform, wasted no time in taking their lives. Not all had unhappy missions but many boys, if they could only tell the Gods honest truth, maybe they would change some of these awful expectations. Just sayin....

[@katrinelund1239]

Pat Earl hi I know this is weird , but I have some questions about LSD, do you Mind me asking ?

[@AN-zz8ps]

holy freak that is so horrible!!! :( and SOOO sad!!! I think it's time the pressure is taken off these young men!

[@Jomac87]

The LDS should maybe stop forcing young people to cut themselves off totally from friends and family during mandatory missions. This has been shown to have a detrimental effect on young people and that's before you even get to how ridiculous the Mormon religion is. Joseph Smith has been proven to be a liar, conman and amoral person, yet millions of people seem to accept everything he did and said. I wouldn't be surprised if his religion played a part in his depression. Let your kids make up their own minds and don't ram religion down their throat, especially a religion that's so easy to prove as bullshit!!

[@imoutbye]

I had my first suicidal thoughts on my mission. 18 years later still battling depression. I left the church 8 years ago. Hindsight, the depression was VERY much connected to being involved in the church. Now I’ve learned about the history. Realize it’s all a fraud which explains why as a faithful Mormon I became depressed. I’m heart broken and angry to hear about all the yourh in Utah taking their lives.

[@prudenceappleby5111]

@@Jomac87 well said!!!

[@tinasmith7630]

If a person or child feels they cannot ever b gd enough the expectation is 2 high 4 them. Especially if they r goin through sme sort of anxiety n depression. Much acceptance n unconditional love n encouragement is needed for where they are at. Kind regards 2 u at this time of gr8 loss.

[@weatherwax8541]

I can’t imagine this kind of pain. Heidi, this took tremendous courage to share this heartbreak, with intelligence and honesty. Our Saviors atonement was an unimaginable sacrifice to cover our lives with hope, forgiveness and peace. Prayers are truly felt when expressed from all people during a tragedy and are deeply comforting. I have felt this myself . This touched me deeply. May God continue to bless all of this family and friends who loved this precious young man.

[@fabmom6080]

This touched my heart so much.. My son struggles with suicidal thoughts and has attempted.. My thoughts and prayers are with y'alls family you are such a strong person

[@brisamartinez1]

fab mom Stay strong! You got this

[@zc698]

I hope your son is doing better. God bless.

[@athenalovesdance]

Get him and family on Feingold diet stay away from Red dye check your food labels

[@ins...5635]

May you be in Peace & May your relationship with God become stronger!♥💖💕🤲🌹

[@theturtle5802]

Many blessings and prayers for you and your family, I couldn't even imagine your pain. I'd just want to give you a hug. I'm sorry for your loss. You're so right, we all have those days when we feel so overwhelmed and broken. You've found the courage to move forward and honor his memory in such a beautiful way. Thank you for sharing your story.

[@tammyallen2973]

God bless you and your family. Thank you for sharing.

[@jeremiahlarkin1134]

Heidi and Family!❤ I'm so Sorry for Corey choosing to leave YA'S❤ and this World! I myself have tried Suicide and failed! I'm gonna say, God is with us no matter what! I still think about it daily!!!🙏 Because Life is Dang Hard! And I myself Long for The Father in HEAVEN!!❤ I can not give any pat answers, as you know, there aren't any! I just ask God for His Mercy and Grace! I guess that is why I'm still here! But believe me, I would rather not be! I Love 💘 💘 💘 all who struggle with staying here! And so wish I was like all that Love this Earth!

[@yoyit-realtor]

Such a beautiful person you are. God will sustain you. I am so very very sorry for your loss. Your son is uniquely wonderrful but such a lonely soul.May he rest in peace. Thank you for sharing your story.Love and hugs.

[@rexchuchu9227]

So sorry for your loss, I hope cory has found the peace he was searching for. Rip

[@jefff8699]

So sorry to hear that..Thank you for sharing your story..

[@mauinow5]

Thank you for the courage to share your story.

[@craftypat10]

God bless you & your family. ❤️🙏🏻 I read your story after it happened & it was exactly as you said...people couldn’t believe this would happen to you & your family. But it really is very real. I struggle with it, myself, & have been since becoming ill & unable to do things I used to be able to do. So the struggle is very very real. God bless you for sharing your son’s & family’s story. I can’t imagine but I’ve prayed for you & your family. It is a very different generation where kids, teenagers, young adults struggle with what we struggled with growing up in the 70s & 80s (& before), but it’s so much more devastating & difficult for them today than it was for us years ago. I don’t know why that is but I do know that it is very different as I have kids who’re about the same ages as your sons. As a parent, all we can do is try to be there for them; try to help them navigate those difficult times. It’s not easy & bless you & your husband & family. Still thinking & sending prayers from thousands of miles across the Pacific Ocean. 🙏🏻

[@KELLYKH]

Wow, I am so sorry. I went to your instagram page, and the post about the Thor Hammer that he gave to his teacher made me cry so hard. God Bless you, Heidi, and also everyone else affected by suicide.

[@lorestrahan2207]

You are a very brave person doing this video. It must hurt terrible to talk about it. You are helping many people by telling your story. Thank you!

[@astridadams5612]

Thank you so much for sharing your story with us, with me. You are so brave and I couldn't agree more that being vulnerable opens the door to allow love and support to come rushing in. Thank you for sharing your heart and your story, it touched my heart very deeply. May the Lord, our Precious Saviour be to you all and continue to be to you all and ever present help in times of trouble and may His peace guard your hearts and may He be your strength when your heart is overwhelmed. Sending you big hugs and lots of love from South Africa. God be with you all❤

[@karlaelvis9815]

Bravo to you, Heidi - you are one brave woman - thanks for sharing to prevent another tragedy.

[@gracemama1987]

I am so sorry you lost your precious child...thank you for sharing your story with us.

[@TheKid-jf5cz]

I can tell you from my own experience God forgives all Sin and taking our life because of the pain and loneliness we felt at the time we chose to end all the pain as a loving forgiving God he has a special place for us in heaven..No more pain no more loneliness in our hearts..God forgives us for we are all sinners

[@RoyaltyBabe90]

If you commit suicide, that’s a sin. Yes He forgives but you would have to be alive to repent ... if you kill yourself, you’re leaving one hell & entering another for eternity, smh.

[@clarecarr3517]

I know how you are feeling it's a terrible time for families left behind it happened to my family' we are so alone without my lovely daughte r

[@victorbela5317]

Nova Rae STUPiD. Which god are talking about??there are 3000 thousands GODs.

[@db2888]

Committing suicide is not a sin. And no one in Heaven is sinless. Only Christ is sinless. Committing suicide does not send a person to hell. Rejecting Christ does as Lord and Savior. That’s the only thing that separates someone from Christ for eternity.

[@imbroken3860]

@@db2888 thank you for commenting this. Last week I had to bury my step daughter. I have no biological children so she was my only child. Looking back i seen extreme sadness in her at the age of about 6. Maybe 5. I have also lost a cousin and a friend to suicide as well. Grieving suicide is very hard. So here I go again grieving it after going thru it for 2 years after my friends death. I hope my daughters sadness is gone now and she is at peace finally. She was a lovely little girl. I miss her.

[@sharonpeck88]

Heidi, thank you for sharing your story and how your faith has helped you through. I just had a heart to heart talk with my 14 year old about the dangers of isolation. May the Lord continue to give you the peace that only He can give. Keep looking up.

[@stephenfermoyle1498]

i am so sorry for your loss.....you are a great MOM

[@JessicaSalasS]

Hugs and prayers. The pain will never go away.... it’s in your tears 😭 and it’s okay. Even if u r at peace the tears still come out

[@saimamomin]

I m so very sorry for your loss. I can’t stop crying to see u in pain god will always be with you and your family . R.i.p. son

[@barbaracoleman6125]

Thank you for sharing and our prayers are with you today and always❤

[@juanitajasso4116]

So so sorry for your loss of your Presious son I know exactly how you feel.

[@BabsLongfellow]

Heidi I'm so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful and precious son Cory. Thank-you for your willingness to share, it cannot be easy. I know you have helped others with your story, thank-you. I am grateful for the atonement and for the knowledge that you will embrace your son again.

[@johnneil9076]

Hi Heidi, watching your post has me so emotional, I am at this moment going through hell with depression, I don't know if things will improve for me, but I just keep going in the hope maybe tomorrow will be just a little hetter, you are a very strong lady, and I'm sure given time things will get better for you, you seem to have a great knowledge of how this illness works, and I truly believe one day you will use this knowledge to help others in your situation, I also truly believe that unless you have or do suffer from this hell, gives you much more knowledge than most of these so called experts!! How can you be an expert if you haven't.suffered or it has affected your life so much, you are an inspiration to so many Heidi, you stay strong,and please keep opening up about your pain.x

[@ThaisCoelhoSPFC]

“Those who are dead are not dead They're just living in my head And since I fell for that spell I am living there as well”

[@happylovesmile6415]

Thank you for sharing your story about you and your family.

[@clarkgreen3382]

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. My son is an Aspie and struggles with OCD, Anxiety and depression and as you said he has good days and days that he struggles. I have been open about the ASD but not discussed his other struggles openly especially since he is 20 yo and I would need his consent. He is in therapy and seeing a psychiatrist. He is an amazing soul and I hate to see him struggle but I have met him where he is at now and that works well for us.

[@zulemaalonzo9205]

I'm sorry for your loss! My boyfriend completed 7 months ago, and I understand your pain. Sending you many hugs and prayers. Yess! Only God can give us Strength.💜💜

[@annebell7274]

This beautiful lady is an inspiration to others. I'm so very sad for her loss. ❤

[@mortenpattinson]

So sorry for what happened to your son. I hope you and your family can find peace 🙏❤

[@dlitton123dan9]

Dear Heidi. You and your family are carrying the honor of knowing this son. You didn't get to write the book. You were hands on all the way. Your capacity for pain is immeasurable. As you pointed out, there is no answer. We have to go on.

[@Jen-jo5qu]

Heidi is a brave and loving mother. Her comments on the Atonement of Christ helped me.

[@dalewilliamson7749]

Thanks for sharing your story

[@annien8255]

im so impressed.. you are Heidi must be a very strong and vulnerable person at the same time, it's probably the biggest loss possible in life and hardly any words could make your pain less, but I hope with the help of God time will become a healer....wish you stremth and patience

[@ademirzapata]

I can't believe I been following your creations for as long as I have and not know this part of your journey. my heart goes out to you and your family. Cory is an angel in the sky looking down and one day we all will connect as one again 💙 RIP handsome soul.

[@xscaped]

craftymom27 I think she posted about it back then on Facebook. Very shocking story knowing this family seemed so happy and suddenly this. Really sad.

[@jessjtadesigns]

May God bless you Heidi, know you well, creative pal, and now your story here I'm just learning. Know full well about all of this struggle. Have lived this struggle also. God knows what your family needs to heal, and knows you. May he help you all know his healing, and deal love. ❤️💕💖💗🙏💌

[@IOUZIP]

Heidi, I am so sorry about your son Cory. As someone that has lived with depression since I was 7, I am finally able to tell others about how I feel. Mental Illness is like to the public in my eyes as I am living it a tattoo on your forehead that you can't get rid of. Sorry to be so raw about it but my parents(mom was a social worker but passed away, and dad was supportive along with my brother being autistic) I felt we had to hide it. I hope in 2019, we can just talk to anyone about how we feel and not keep it in. I am so sorry about your son Cory but I do know he is always with you and by you honoring him and bringing awareness we can all talk about this. GB

[@nomebear]

When our young friend ended his life we got into counseling with S.O.S. (Survivors Of Suicide) and learned so much about the dynamics of suicide. Like Heidi and her husband, there was so much that we didn't know because it was hidden from us, and in the end there was little that we could have done which was frustrating. Many years later, there's not much time that passes that I don't think about him, think about the waste that loosing this young man represents, but I am at peace with it today.

[@andeejomccoleman]

Heidi, I am so sorry and sad for you and your family. God bless Corey and you all.

[@sandmot]

What a heartbreaking story...I can´t even imagine the pain the lady is going through...She transmits so much peace and serenity...God help the family...

[@santiagotrujillo9374]

God bless you Heidi and your family

[@debblackmore7460]

Bless sending love from UK still in minds and heart always 2 my nephews ended their lifes so know our feeling mental health stinks suffer myself after brain injury hypoxia keep going anyone who have these thoughts please reach out get help dont suffer in silence your not alone bless you all headway Nottingham UK xxx

[@Jsppydays]

Prayers to you and your family. You are not alone in your pain. God bless.

[@rubymilescleo]

Mary from Ireland. Thank you for sharing your story

[@kathleenryan5317]

So sorry for your loss, may he rest in peace x x

[@delbertcast3543]

🌴 SPC Martin Gabriel Baldoza US Army 11C July 11, 1997 ❤️ July 6, 2020 God bless you son

[@snarkasticsquid2435]

My thanks to you and your precious boy for defending our country. I am so sorry for your loss. 🌹

[@redfeather811]

So sorry about your loss

[@violetrose56]

Thank the Lord you have a loving family to be strong together and help each other xx

[@ingrid1797]

I am truly sorry for your loss Heidi. It sounds like you did what you could, getting professional help. If only it made sense, but no 1 answer covers every situation...remember how he lived, not his death ❤

[@letellier1990]

I have no words that could make this situation any easier but if I could I would give you a great big hug!

[@sylviacarlson3561]

God Bless you Heidi! You are so right! NO ONE IS AMMUNED!!

[@bernadettebailey5370]

For me is disappointment and too much expectation. I suffer from the same thing. May I have the peace of God in both situations, and may others who have not found peace, find " the peace of God that surpasses all understanding."

[@debblackmore7460]

Bless sending love from UK xx

[@Rodmic-hd9pn]

This story is very sensitive. My heart goes out to you and your family

[@danpoppe1294]

Thank you for sharing your story Heidi. I lost my wife to suicide and my grandson survived a jump from a bridge although he is now a quadriplegic. I agree, allowing oneself to be 100% vulnerable is vitally important as is forgiveness.. We can ask our self "why" a thousand times, but ultimately it comes down to accepting the unthinkable and resolving to move forward. We hopefully learn and grow from great tragedy to be better able to empathize when others suffer. May our Lord and Savior Jesus continue to richly bless you.

[@mawsjumbler]

"before it took place"...She's so unwilling to directly relate the act of her son's suicide. How exactly did he die? She's simply not willing to say. She goes on about "embracing the saviour" when she apparently can't even summon the resolve to face the reality of what finally happened to her child. All this wonderful business that she's so proud of...it's like she's been cursed with her son's suicide.

[@Gina19876]

Its brutal to lose you son. My deepest condolences go out to Heidi. I lost my son unnaturally too. Its a daily nightly never-ending sorrow, pain and emptiness. What you never imagined, happened and the shock is profound.

[@ArmandvanWyk-ep1cn]

You are a strong person, God bless you