若劉學州真的錯了一件事,那只有一件,他在太年輕的時候就知道了真相。 他還沒有足夠的時間思考與沈澱「我遭遇的這些痛苦,是因為沒有親生家庭嗎?」這個問題,同時劉學州經歷的生命跨度也還不足以讓他發現世上仍然有好人存在,學校只是個封閉社會,他完全有機會遇到真正珍視他的人。 他尋親的原動力是認為「只要找到親生父母就找到愛」,但人生的認同感、被愛感很多時候真的不是來自於家庭,家庭很重要,但非家庭的支持也同等重要,在我看來,劉學州至少還有愛他的姥姥,以及親戚,但對家庭愛的盲目追求,常常讓我們忽略這些。 他長在了有抖音的年代,抖音是一種快速可以傳達自身感受的軟體,他將自己的感受、看法未經消化就急促的產出在社群上,自然也將在無法防禦的狀態下遭受社群上的砲火,從他一開始想讓仲介受罰、而後又調轉槍口認為是親父母遺棄,劉學州內心是混亂的,混亂的情況下就不該胡亂地使用社群的力量,那會反噬自己。 我想起Cat Stevens的一首歌Father and Son,以此悼念劉學州年輕早逝痛苦的靈魂。 It's not time to make a change Just relax, take it easy You're still young, that's your fault There's so much you have to know Find a girl, settle down If you want, you can marry Look at me, I am old, but I'm happy I was once like you are now And I know that it's not easy To be calm when you've found something going on And take your time, think a lot Think of everthing you've got For you will still be here tomorrow But your dreams may not How can I try to explain? When I do, he turns away again It's always been the same Same old story From the moment I could talk I was older to listen Now, there's a way and I know That I have to go away I know, I have to grow
Let him be in peace in Heaven. He was such a strong boy who was willing to accept his situation yet people forget he's just a young teenager a young life who only wanted to seek the truth and find the love he needed ... my heart goes out to him. All he really wanted was LOVE😢