the *worst* best date ever.. STORY TIME | VLOGMAS DAY 16

[@carlyterese]

Katy, you’re so raw and honest, and that is SO valuable. This video reminds me of the quote, “she remembered who she was, and the game changed.” We can’t beat ourselves up for feelings we felt when we were younger or in the past, we’re all trying to figure it out! You only learn more with more life experiences and age. I’m 23, and sometimes, I cringe about the boy-related feelings and stories when I was 18-22, but I guess I wouldn’t be here now if that weren’t for that? Everyone you meet comes into your life for a reason (or they say, “even a season”), and this experience sounds like it gave you that push to look into yourself more, realize you ARE doing great things, and love yourself more. You’re doing great and inspire me and others with each video, post, and podcast. Keep doing what you’re doing, sending love!!

[@alyssiakirkhart]

I'm 42 and wiser words have never been spoken. Even now, I often look back at past relationships with a reflective smile, because, yes, it was hard and, yes, I wish I could somehow go back and time, hug that girl, and tell her it's going to be okay. But mostly it's because I realize all of this was necessary for the forming of who I am today, who I stand to be in future. Katie: This is a valuable, open vlog I'm sure many will go back to for years to come. You're an old soul, dear heart. As long as you keep being true to yourself, there's no limit to what you can do. Thank you.

[@JordysGunshotDrawer]

This was so incredibly cathartic for me. I’ve been having many discussions with my girlfriends lately about men and coming to the realization that the root issue isn’t them, it’s me. And hearing you read back to yourself “I have a very low opinion of myself” made me so emotional. It’s so hard to sit down and be your own critic for positive change, but so needed. Thank you for this video!

[@KristiLizzz]

i love the confidence you exude in this video, the comfort and love you have for yourself is so apparent and i am here for the glow! even your posture from last year to this year has completely transformed. we love this kind of growth and acceptance 🤍

[@ginav3847]

As someone also in their 20s, I feel this is the hardest time of my life and we're supposed to be going through these weird times and figuring out who we are and our self-worth.

[@Michelliellio]

When the vid started w the black screen and your lettering and the voiceover and music it was honestly *chefs kiss*

[@xokelseyxo9238]

Her editing is just AMAZING ❤️

[@allison7366]

Love this!! Have you made a list of your favorite bars/restaurants in NY? Would love to hear the names of the places you talk about :)

[@bvdkstyle25]

Katy, I remember watching this date situation play out in your vlogmas last year and people judging you for being overdramatic (I was one of them) and now seeing you maturely and intelligently look back and realizing how you were trying to find happiness through someone else and projecting onto them makes me respect you even more. It's common to look for solace in others when we feel lost and I don't blame you at all. I'm sure he had a few red flags but maybe you weren't willing to see them. The biggest one that stands out to me is him letting you choose the first date spot. I always let the guy choose first to gauge his effort and interest. Another thing to remember is that, unfortunately, our generation is all about the next best thing so most of the time people are dating/talking to multiple people at a time so it's important to really take things as they come and not put too much emphasis on one person as you said. It sucks but that's dating in your 20s. Just know you're beautiful, talented, intelligent, and interesting and you'll find someone one day who will appreciate that!

[@MaddieCassidy]

i have been WAITING for this for a year and didn't even realize it! i feel like from things you said on thick and thin i could surmise what happened. love you katy 💌

[@TheMrsShephard]

His loss! You are really an incredible girl - smart, wise beyond your years, independent, driven, yet sensitive, empathetic and humble. I wish I had a friend like you. The right guy will come around. And remember, never settle for less than you deserve. You can absolutely expect a lot from a guy, cuz you have a lot to offer. We all have days when we doubt ourselves, we just can’t let it consume us. Sending lots of good energy your way. You go girl!

[@loveemilyyy3]

you’re so SO intelligent any guy would be lucky to have you!

[@lindauribe6872]

I had a 2 year marriage and a son.Dating was limited.Then when I was 38 and son 18 I met a Police officer and we were married for 38 years until I lost him. He was my love and that is it for me.See it can happen at anytime.

[@chester1370]

Love this vid, Katy! It’s so refreshing to see women our age talk about dating from this perspective. You should do a video on the tips & tricks for online dating or more on what you’ve learned from them - I’m 24 and I know so many girls are lost in how to tackle the online dating scene. You’re the best!!

[@kimmychangas]

You have my fav vlogmas series this year Katy. I love follow your growth. I hope you have a great holiday this year

[@kimmychangas]

following**

[@marinagarcia9647]

august 2021 ... and every word that you just said touched my soul. You are such a vulnerable individual and I love that from you. I have been a follower of your podcast for a while and I love this type of conversations

[@nyclover001]

Everything you have talked about, is everything I and many many other girls have gone through. We have all picked ourselves up just like you. But if I had watched this when I was going through those rough times I feel like it would have helped me immensely. You have people in your life who try to give you advice, but I have never heard anyone explain that exact feeling so well except you. I truly appreciate your honesty and how much you have grown since then. I can totally see a difference and I am so happy for you!

[@emilyloftin1960]

I feel like our world is seriously lacking in empathy sometimes! I truly feel like you can make such a huge difference in the lives around you when you just practice empathy. We’ll never fully understand why people feel all the things that they do, but that’s no reason to persecute them. Such a good video Katie! ❤️

[@katiethayer6631]

Okay, first of all, you are glowing in such a humble way in this video. Just absolutely had to start with that! I've been in isolation for a while and I have been binge watching your KZbin videos in order from about the "2years ago" mark. I particularly enjoyed this video, not because of potential "juicy gossip" vibes but just because of how much I can actually SEE how you've grown. Growth is painful - I see that in you too. Having watched your videos so consecutively I really do see it happening before my eyes. I love that you're thinking about this on a wider scale as in how you will bring up your children from your own realizations. I myself am now 30 and I remember the point at which I started to think about myself in a loving way and look at the world in a questioning manner all the while trying to find that inner peace. It was around the age of 24/25. I remember getting in to a relationship a few years before and moving in with them all the while unsure about how I felt about them. I see now that I was desperately trying to create a home - one that I didn't always experience growing up... ..there's so much that I could say but I just wanted to show you some love and connection, I hope you find your inner peace for no-one but yourself. You deserve it. (Also, I can't believe how much you juggle in your work life!) Love & Peace, Katie :)

[@bubba283]

This reminds me of a bad date with a guy, I never told anyone about.

[@abigail18md]

I'm catching up on vlogmas content rn, and I wrote down that quote you read from your journal because it really touched me. Thank you for being so introspective and inspiring! - from your DMV neighbor in northern Virginia :)

[@camilavola3162]

This is such an important video, especially the comparison of the 2019 you and the 2020 you! I feel like even though this year was one of the hardest, it also pushed me to better my relationship with myself! And also this IS IMPORTANT, your feelings are valid!!

[@knowyourfashionhistory7257]

I think life is a constant unlearning. We will never "arrive" to the perfect life, but we will be present for the one we're currently living. Katy, I've been watching for you like six years. Thank you for your unwavering vulnerability. it's honestly a treasure on this platform🙌🏾💕

[@Sabrinnaaa7]

I always admire how raw and real you are on your channel. Been following you for a long time now and I just love that you've always stayed true to yourself and continue to share your most intimate, private moments with all of us who are going through similar things. Keep being you, Katy

[@HelloKatyxo]

thanks Sabrina :) trying to keep it real!

[@saribeall7264]

Katy, your authenticity is so appreciated. You're one of my favorite content creators! Love you.

[@alyssamadsen5088]

I RARELY ever comment on someone's video, but I just wanted to say how much I appreciate your videos Katy. You've helped so many of us and I am so grateful for that! It helps me to reflect on how far I've come over this crazy crazy year and I wouldn't change any of those experiences or challenges for anything. Ultimately, it has made me who I am today.

[@ramadasaithal6053]

Love to see Katy's growth as a person along with her.

[@melissa0755]

I promise to try and watch ur videos more regularly because I like the way you execute ur messages in all ur videos and the way you make them, it's unlike any other youtuber :-)) I wish for u to have many more subscribers x

[@anjaliatluru1034]

you are soooo relatable and genuine! I really appreciate this

[@daniellejones4851]

This is such an important lesson that I feel like needs to be talked about more. I appreciate you sharing such a relatable experience. I found the love of my life once I stopped making a relationship the biggest goal for my life. Now having him in my life adds to it and it’s not what makes me a worthy human being.

[@Michelliellio]

I’ve been watching you since your college videos, and you are really the main character Katy!! I love the raw/genuineness, it makes people root for you I think

[@emilyofneverland]

your words are always so beautiful and comforting, like i'm reading an old favorite book again

[@natalieschauwecker3601]

Absolutely amazing. You are such an inspiration. Watching you grow and think out loud over the years has been so meaningful to my development of thoughts and beliefs.

[@ashleyriggs6815]

"People will say there are so many bigger things in the world...", and YET there are little and big things we face every day that shape/affect us more than anything else ever will. It's infuriating that someone would minimize another person's growth bc it isn't "big" enough. Please don't stop sharing your heart, Katy. This story reminds me a lot of my journey with dating over the pst year too. Your vulnerability is needed.

[@neiceym]

I turned 29 this year and I wish at 24 I had such a good assessment of myself and how I viewed my relationships with people I date, ghosting, and trying to "fix it" when I should've just had grace with myself. I feel like I didn't get there until last year at 28 (maybe something shifted for a lot of women last year/early this year), but I really hope you understand how your honesty and vulnerability in videos like this is incredibly refreshing. So thank you! Also, I remember watching that vlog last year and fawning over that dress so so much lol

[@reetaskeeter2100]

Aww Katie, it's okay atleast you know yourself enough to know your weaknesses. You should be with someone who makes you feel perfect despite them and makes your weaknesses feel beautiful to you.

[@miriahpinnix5761]

I love this Katy, you have made some very valid points! I have looked forward to your vlogmas daily!

[@snoerosina]

I didn't realise I needed this, but I did!! Thank you for showing your growth with us, but for sure it is so easy to just say you're not interested instead of ghosting someone! And I think the big difference is that you know your worth now and you're less worried about what a guy thinks of you, because you know your worth now! ❤️

[@maffi2071]

Girl you don't need any boxes to check or extra validation, you're successful and amazing, follow intuition and find your own blend of happiness!

[@lizmanuell]

Love how raw and real you are. We need more convos like this. Much love!

[@bellakistner6610]

This was truly a stunning video. You were so genuine and real, and I admired it immensely. Also your editing (most esp @ 1:30) was phenomenal, and really almost felt like a SATC episode or something. Appreciate you and your authenticity.

[@MzStarGirl199]

I love how you mentioned this experience being the moment that "the game changed" for you!!! (20:56) I had a similar experience while moving on from an almost relationship recently and struggle to find the words to describe how I feel now. I can physically feel myself changing and beginning this new journey of self love and I am so so excited not only to begin but to also have you to look to for inspiration along the way

[@laurafrancexca]

I remember that date vlog & then heard you mention the make out story before but didn’t realize it was the same guy 😩😩 but honestly, SO relatable! I feel like those of us in the online dating world have all been there before. Multiple times even. And it sucks...but we definitely grow from it! Thanks for sharing 💕

[@beriahforney6150]

Hi Katy!! I never usually leave comments but I've been following you since 2012 and I just wanted to say that you are such an inspiration to me and thank you for making this video! I'm so glad you decided to do vlogmas again this year, it brings some much needed serotonin into my day :)

[@claudiabarbiero]

I’m so glad I found your channel. I love these sit down talks you do. Thank for you being so real and vulnerable with us. Your willingness to look within yourself at your own character, feelings, motives, and desires and try and rationalize others’ is such a great quality to have. Keep being your amazing self Katy!

[@catherinejohnson9702]

So interesting to see your growth through the years! Happy for you and wishing you the best for 2021 ❤️

[@wilderskies1476]

Wow, thank you for this one, I went through the same thing last year and what you said really resonates with me. Our feelings are valid and we deserve more!

[@bruchebruce]

I literally just watched the original date vid yesterday! Soooo eerie that you’re doing a recap of it right now

[@HelloKatyxo]

what wow!! such TIMING!

[@tessam563]

lol i love this video because it has such old katy from high school boy advice vibes for some reason?? just catching that vibe and have been loving your vlogmas all around ❤

[@norachrista4765]

this helps so much, thank you from the bottom of my heart!🤍

[@Christinaaahhhify]

Thank you for being honest and vulnerable. Way to go on the self-love journey! This is true self-love.

[@TheSocialite1]

This was a deep one Katy. Wow thanks for being open. You’re doing amazing Katy.

[@kathy6937]

You got the beauty and the brain! Honestly what we need to remind ourselves is: we are not hard to love, love is just hard to find these days💛

[@NinaThomas]

I remember when you first spoke about this date. I think it was in a podcast episode called 'The Slow Fade'. A little earlier this time last year I was just beginning to feel the slow fade with someone I had been talking to for a few months. It is SO painful when you feel someone pull away and all you want is to keep moving forward. But you sharing your frustration made me feel so much less alone. Thank you, Katy. ❤️

[@joys.portinga1490]

thanks for sharing, Katy. It's what I needed to hear right now. Ghosting sucks, even for two dates, but I'm glad to hear the reflections and growth you've made in the past year.

[@ReginaaaASMR]

Funny, I had just watched that video a while ago and was wondering how it went! Loved this video Katy, I relate to it so much. I’m 24 now and having a lot of the same realizations and part of that is thanks to you! 🥰

[@inthepinkvlogs]

Loved this style of video Katy!

[@claudianadine2686]

Thank you so much for your vlogmas this year!! I find watching your videos super therapeutic ❤️

[@loomonda18]

Man Katy, I hope you know how incredible you are, and how much I look up to you as a person & everything you've accomplished. I can literally feel you falling so hard in love with your future man ❤️ trust yourself xxo

[@jennibennett9636]

Your storytime and chatty videos are my favorite so I loved this! Thanks!

[@NatalieBarbu]

Off-topic BUT.. I am obsessed with your thumbnails lately!!

[@carlyburton9611]

Lately? Or all the time, because you try to copy her. Just like you copy Shelby and Monica Church videos.

[@svenjabrank3245]

Thank you so much for sharing a shory, that is so honest and emotional. I feel like you have so many thoughts to share that have a lot of wisdom in them and have potential to really help others better themselves and heal and maybe change they way we are wired to think a bit. I had something kind of similar happen to me, probably every girl does at some point, and it really made me feel better and less alone in this to listen to your story. Love you!

[@oliviaandgracebeauty]

Coming from someone living in NYC, this is so relatable and honest.

[@ItsMEMonicaMarie]

Hi Katy! When you were talking about your pre-date jitters it reminded me of something I heard recently that really changed my perspective. "Girls are taught to be desirable, not to desire." We spend so much time trying to control how people see us that we can't even be sure of how we feel about them. You don't need to impress them, they need to impress you!!!!! You are amazing and interesting and driven and creative and so many other worthwhile things. Don't forget it :)

[@imgabbyDUH]

thank you for sharing your story! I related to so much of the things you were feeling! im so glad we both grew from the 2019 version of ourselves. Its cringe to think of how insecure I was, but now Im working towards unconditionally loving myself

[@gracebrzozowski8577]

I bought that black dress because you had it! I always feel like a million bucks when I wear it. I forgot about it for a bit (bc 2020 and sweatpants etc.), but rekindled my love for it while packing for Christmas. Coincidental that this episode more than just mentioned it. Love this video and seeing how your outlook has changed in just a year! Keep doing you

[@myrosypath5984]

We should realize that our life is not a check list :)

[@lindseyhenderson_]

Agreed

[@martuvalv]

Wow.

[@sarahgloria9671]

Loved this video and the editing! You look so pretty!

[@nikalive1]

I relate so hard to this! I took a break from dating this year after I broke up with my really manipulative and controlling ex. After such a bad relationship I realized that I needed to think through what I was looking for in others but mostly, I needed to think through how I thought about myself. It’s been an amazing year (in that regard and that regard only)

[@hannahperkoengel]

Love this!! pls do more of these, and a dear katy soon!

[@KiaraEmm]

You look absolutely beautiful! I love your hair. ❤️

[@melissaamelia1616]

This is a very dramatic story for two dates 😂 but I feel ya. I’m the same way. I go crazy if someone I like ghosts me after a few dates. I’ve learned to assume they’re just going to ghost me in the first place and I’m not as disappointed when it does happen and therefore expectations are super low.

[@aubreykaye7092]

I dont know if you'll see this, but I feel compelled to tell you how amazing, brilliant, resilient, and special you are! Dont forget all that you have going for you and all the joy that is yet to come✨

[@PeaceTwinkler]

I love it please also make a podcast on it on self love, I go to sleep listening to your podcast.

[@jnada101]

I love and admire your honesty

[@jessicah1969]

your hair looks INCREDIBLE 🤩

[@chi2om]

In love with this content. Very relatable. 22 here and have my first date EVER soon. I was overthinking how my date will feel about me, but realized wait this is about me too. How would I feel and what am I looking for. Now I’m just excited to meet new people in my life. Thanks for this!

[@RebeccaABeaudoin]

SO EXCITED for this week's pod!!

[@DaffyDuck18]

I LOVE this video! Thank you for being so honest Katy!

[@Mybougiehippylife]

I love how your learning to love yourself and learn how to help yourself. I can tell your growing so much as a person and it’s beautiful! ❤️

[@breannecrossley3205]

Wow so interesting to watch - I remember this vlog from last year!!

[@jackiegarcia9828]

you should bring these type of videos back!

[@Mybougiehippylife]

I love your story time videos Katy! Thank you for sharing your story with us. Sending lots of love from Texas. Merry Christmas!

[@notthebrightestknife]

I don't normally comment on videos, but since you've mentioned before that you fiendishly read every comment you receive, here goes: I have always thought you to have one of *the* prettiest souls ever, Katy. I've been watching your videos for years now, and they always feel like a warm cup of tea. You are so fiercely fierce, but what I've always admired even more about you is that you are so fiercely soft, and consciously choose to protect that quality within yourself, despite life being so unpredictable (and embarrassing! and unfair!) at times; while I absolutely adore that you have grown to be such an ambitious, enterprising, badass person chock-full of shrewd intuitions about life, even more so am I grateful that still you remain so wonderfully vulnerable and open about all the other moments in life which you have felt ill-equipped for and confused about while en route to your dreams...because your humanity unlocks a feeling of okay-ness in us viewers to be human too that sometimes we desperately need. And you know what? That's what *real* influencing is. Even on your bad days lady, don't you ever forget that. :)

[@audreystevens1017]

This video was literally what I needed to hear today. Always love hearing your words of wisdom on dating and life in general!

[@talkingtoalison]

I think your problem is you want your life to be a movie so you don’t live in reality and try to force perfect movie moments

[@dianaluna1026]

Ummm have you ever met an Scorpio??

[@mandy833]

As a reminder, that's your opinion and this comment doesn't reflect well on you (even if there's some truth to it). It's very easy to criticize other people from behind a computer screen.

[@Gnatzz]

Your problem is that you think you have the right to tell another person what their problem is. That’s not what this video is for. It’s not a plea for advice, or for you to feel better about how strong and brave you are for “living in reality”. Reality is also such a relative term, your reality and Katy’s are both very different, as is mine. There’s not a one size fits all answer, so I’d advise that you stop using shameful words suggesting that there is.

[@SamianHQuazi]

@@Gnatzz Nah, I think talkingtoalison made a pretty good analysis right there. Whenever you open yourself up in public, you open yourself up for criticism, too. We have the right to speak our minds. And reality is objective, only the meaning behind it is subjective. Dealing with reality, rather than through our cognitive biases, is the cornerstone of cognitive-based therapy (CBT).

[@kathryner1]

Hey, Katy! First and foremost, I really enjoyed your video! I encourage you to look outside of colonized Western culture for information about the role that women play in society. While you are so right that women's oppression runs deep in many cultures, that is not universally true, especially in indigenous cultures (often matriarchal)! I bring it up as I know you enjoy history and learning about powerful women :) Also, even in a Colonised Western context... I don't want to add any more years to the oppression women have faced!! Thanks for the story and the reflections. I know we all appreciate it

[@emmalavinnia9457]

Love this so much! I think this is the most relatable video I've watched as a 26 year old female single in a big city❤️

[@meganb6722]

I’ve saved so many quotes from this video. Thank you for inspiring me Katy ❤️

[@Gracexolovexo]

really loved this. thank you for sharing ❤️

[@xokelseyxo9238]

Good morning, Katy! I loved this video so much. I'm so happy that you are in a season of learning to love yourself and to reflect on how far you have come. I have been following you since 2013 and you inspire me in so many ways. Much love to you always. ❤️

[@MrSmiles51]

I feel and understand the hurt.

[@eunoia-giaw]

this was so lovely, i could agree to many parts, thank you !

[@glittergal008]

ugh girl I FEEL YOU! i have definitely been there and it's the worst! But, you're FAB and it's his LOSS

[@sandrat.1223]

Thank you for your transparency.

[@09mjeternity]

I totally relate to this. We will be blessed ❤️

[@monikarools]

wowow very similar situation happened to me and this was so enlightening to hear. really looking internally as I go into the new year

[@anja3634]

I think that until you can accept the idea of possibly ending up alone, you will always come across as desperate for love. Focus on yourself and your own goals, love will come along!

[@helenamitchell1189]

Thank you, thank you. You've made me realise how much more work I need to do on myself and where I'm at with this video. I totally agree that relationships are seen as the be all and end all in our culture, I've certainly fallen into that thinking and still do. You inspire me so much and are sparking little realisations in more people than you know through this video :).

[@persisv]

When you read your journal entry I just started crying uncontrollably

[@maryc1923]

also, i think an important thing to realize is to fall in love with peoples realities, not their potential

[@naturequeene1372]

Beautiful raw honesty, life lessons and woman. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. You remind me of Drew Barrymore in this video. You are stunning. Never stop being yourself.

[@natalievanraalte9809]

Loved this!!