Helping Parents and Therapists Cope with Autism Spectrum Disorder | Susan Sherkow | TEDxYouth@LFNY

Dr. Sherkow will talk today on helping parents and therapists understand and cope with Autism Spectrum Disorder.
Dr. Susan P. Sherkow is a practicing child, adolescent, and adult psychiatrist trained at Tufts University School of Medicine, Albert Einstein College of Medicine, and the New York Psychoanalytic Institute. She is currently the Director of The Sherkow Center for Child Development and Autism Spectrum Disorder.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

[@headsofaruptheassandlovini3048]

I am a 42 autistic man and going to give the best advice for parents, friends, loved ones about autism. Don't ever let a person with autism be around to many people who are evil or stupid. From Dr.s, schools, most age groups to jobs, do not allow it. Always seek smart people, family-oriented parents, and more caring people from all walks of life.

[@hirorop5367]

Thank you for your advice 🙏

[@chriscampbell4597]

This is where my parents failed with me. Great advise. When I got in with that crowd they provoked my bad behaviors and introduced me to drugs. It took me until the age of 25 to begin to get control of addictive behaviors and start the process of growing. I lost 8 years of progress due to a few bad influences. Thanks for your comment.

[@GingerSpice414]

Well, I have a 25 year old autistic daughter with NO HELP and I'm tired. I can only do so much!!! Don't allow this - Don't let them do that - Watch out for this - Make sure you do that! Damn! Damn! Damn! My head hurts all the time. I can't sleep. My world constantly revolves around her for 25 YEARS!!!! I have no breaks and I'm praying to die soon. It's never going to end! "The wheels on the bus go CRASH CRASH CRASH!!!!!"

[@marshaevans3850]

@NEW HOPE INSURANCE LTD what herbs did you use?

[@2ummis]

@@GingerSpice414 I’m sorry you are going though this. I hope you and your daughter have found some middle ground.

[@angabluewellness8604]

The spectrum works like this... WHEN YOU HAVE SEEN ONE, YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THEM ALL. They are all different.

[@paulfincher506]

Amen! ♾

[@evawambani7992]

Thank you! 🥺🥺

[@favourjohn312]

This doc helped my son improve and get over autism with his herbs His name is Dr Oyalo on channel on KZbin My son has improved and completely responds to his name with lots of understanding like never before Thank you Dr Oyalo

[@azimhashim1709]

My child was so playful and very interactive since 1year of using doctor Dr Omena and now he is verbal and also improve in social skills

[@user-nx3il8di6m]

Since the final taking of your herbs, my son has been speaking well and responding to his name Thank you Dr Omena for saving my son with your herbs. I’m so happy to share this news

[@clararaimundi551]

I lashed out at my now teen daughter because I felt she never knew what to do, even though I had explained so many times already. She seemed normal. I never suspected she had an issue. No one at school thought she had a terrible issue, they just said she was being a child. Things didn't make sense to her. I am now working on repairing our relationship. She is still very angry at me. All the love I didn't give because I wanted her to stop pretending not to understand. If I had known then....

[@annailles8625]

@Sara Salinas this is why I want to become a speech pathologist to help my fellow people on the spectrum

[@anonymouschange287]

Or just don’t assume kids do everything for attention?

[@blonze69]

As best as you can now, research all you can, and practice self compassion, and forgiveness(you didnt know), now that you do,, try to be there for your daughter as much as she will allow you to, and be consistent...be her person now!!

[@autieree]

narcissist

[@marshaevans3850]

My 18 yr old daughter lashes out at me. I am getting too old for physical abuse. I do everything for her. She has treated me like her enemy for many years now. I’m tired.

[@vulpixfairy1985]

I work in childcare and I never caught the signs of autism in my now turning 7 year old son, but my colleagues at work did. The diagnosis shook me but it answered so many questions to his behaviour. Delayed language, some difficulty in emotional regulation and processing some social situations and fixation in spinning things. But on the other side, he loves connecting with people, loves hugs and cuddles, loves his Pokémon, Anna and Elsa, his soft toys and his trains and marble mazes and processes new things quite quickly. He’s considered on the lower end of the spectrum but the support of his OT and SP during his Telehealth sessions really really help and having understanding teachers also help. I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world.

[@faiora]

Just a quick note that there’s no “low” or “high” end of the spectrum. That would be a scale. The spectrum refers to several different areas (think colours of the rainbow, representing communication, executive function, focus on interests, motor function, etc) in which a person has differences, which is different for every autistic person.

[@user-nx3il8di6m]

Since the final taking of your herbs, my son has been speaking well and responding to his name Thank you Dr Omena for saving my son with your herbs. I’m so happy to share this news

[@user-ev9sw4ee8j]

Dr Oyalo herbs is really helpful, and have helped my son improve with his speech and social skill complete. My son now responds to name, his aggressive behavior has stoped completely

[@cherishrake9562]

I have multiple children on the spectrum and felt like I finally understood my kindergartner today and how she has been introducing herself and saying that today is her first day of kindergarten all year.

[@sanelisiwexaba8269]

@Beatrix In Christ how can I reach out to the Dr?

[@melv.278]

@Beatrix In Christ be ashamed of yourself, saying that herbs can change the way someone's brain has developed. You are promoting fake things to get desperate people to pay for something that doesn't exist. The only "cure" to autism is understanding and helping the person.

[@theonetruejared8941]

​@@sanelisiwexaba8269 ASD doesn't have a cure and you shouldn't want one anyways because we don't. They're just trolling and selling hopium

[@chantellesmith9654]

@Beatrix In Christ that’s not how autism works.

[@user-ev9sw4ee8j]

Dr Oyalo herbs is really helpful, and have helped my son improve with his speech and social skill complete. My son now responds to name, his aggressive behavior has stoped completely

[@gumoak]

"Doesn't allow them to develop." Oh, dear.

[@paulfincher506]

I hear what you are saying.

[@masonallridge618]

The one thing I wish I that I could see my male 18 year old Autistic actions, emotions, interactions from my mom’s, my 2 best friends, my friends parents, who absolutely love me, perspectives. That’s all I want. And I try with my own mom but it feels impossible. I can’t tell you how many arguments we’ve had and it’s always ended with her saying, “You’re acting Autistic again.” And I tell ya, being an Autistic kid who’s just trying, and failing, to help you see his point of view, I guarantee you that I will never feel as angry as I did in those moments. Being reminded you’re different is not the right thing to say in even the best situations. I feel so lost.

[@adrialee8149]

Thank God for the relationship and bond me and my five yr old son have. Hes non verbal autistic and some things are hard but hes affectionate and loving and our bond is so strong.

[@adrialee8149]

@Gerald Payne lol herbs aren't what we need but thanks anyways

[@ednaatluxton4918]

I raised my nonverbal autistic son alone and made him affectionate like me. He's 29 and in an autism home. His sibs got severe. I have lupus. I go to lunch weekly with him. He still kisses me nonstop with bright eyes. He's telling me he loves me and misses me. With all his head injuries and meds he hasn't forgot his mommy

[@adrialee8149]

@@ednaatluxton4918 that's so so sweet. I think mine is so affectionate bc I always have been too. They are truly such amazing, precious, beautiful souls. ❤️ I pray I hear those words some day..I love you. Lord knows he hears it enough 😂 I imagine he is like yeah yeah mom Im aware!!!!!!

[@user-ev9sw4ee8j]

Dr Oyalo herbs is really helpful, and have helped my son improve with his speech and social skill complete. My son now responds to name, his aggressive behavior has stoped completely

[@marymurphy1429]

What is it always parents and therapist talking to other parents and therapists about how to deal with us. I've been asking this question since I first started to research autism and what it meant about me in the 5th grade and now I'm 22. Not much has changed. I realize this video is 6 years old, but still...

[@katherinereynolds3659]

Because half the time or more we have no idea what to do. Particularly if the child is nonverbal.

[@EmpyrealEndemic]

More services for parents to deal with child autists then for autistic adults. It's a shame

[@cesileythorson3633]

I LOVE that people who have ASD are starting to insert themselves into the conversation! That is what we need as a society. That is what is furthering our understanding of autism. We need that perspective, otherwise we are just guessing. I understand it can be frustrating or even infuriating to have parents and therapists constantly talking about you but for most of us parents, at least for me, it's because we WANT to understand the best we can. Becoming a part of the conversation, as difficult or even as impossible as that may be, is what can help us to do this. I am the mother of 2 boys on the spectrum and my husband and I are undiagnosed but definitely on the spectrum as well. We just never realized it until we had our own Littles with ASD and then once we learned more about autism, our lives started to make a lot more sense. Anyway, point being, try to keep in mind that some (hopefully most) people genuinely have the best intentions at heart and are still learning. Please continue to speak up whenever and wherever you feel you can. Your voice and the voices of others like you is what can make this world a better, more compassionate and understanding place.

[@alena5484]

Because most parents have no idea of what ASD is and how to best support their child with ASD. This therapist described perfectly a typical relationship between a neurotypical parent and a neurodiverse child - parents can’t seem to find a way to get to their child and help them progress so that they can meet their developmental milestones. All that the good parents want is to raise their child as a healthy, independent, happy individual, and it’s impossible to do it when they can’t communicate / don’t understand each other, and parents feel responsible for not being able to provide the necessary support for their child. They feel like a failure. Which isn’t what you ever plan on being when you decide to have children and make your best effort to support their well being.

[@favourjohn312]

This doc helped my son improve and get over autism with his herbs His name is Dr Oyalo on channel on KZbin My son has improved and completely responds to his name with lots of understanding like never before Thank you Dr Oyalo

[@dianewiegel7136]

My 28 year old son is reading, Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's by John Elder Robison, and getting his first assessment for this. He is super smart, developed normally, liked snuggles, was an A+ student and not until high school did we see his difficulty looking with social interactions. Through some self reflection on my part and his part, he is on a better track now to get some coping tools for social interactions.

[@user-ev9sw4ee8j]

Dr Oyalo herbs is really helpful, and have helped my son improve with his speech and social skill complete. My son now responds to name, his aggressive behavior has stoped completely

[@anonymouse755]

I have PTSD, a son with ASD and ADHD. And on top of that I have a thyroid condition that affects my emotions in random ways. Stress makes my health worse, my health affects my ability to regulate my mood, my mood affects my ability to manage my son's autism. I feel so alone in my situation with no support, no one to notice that I need help too. I feel so lost as a mother and a person 😩

[@toyaspence9516]

I am sorry 😞

[@aokiemarie9036]

i noticed it....ur important...ur doing great ...dont give up my kid has autism n understand what ur going through... its hard raising a kid with autism specially when my kid is so sweet naive n got lost at school, bullying ...i worry everyday (day n night) n the school system dont care ...so im thinking on homeschool my kid again

[@lordcailx]

Just a suggestion, ASD is an inherited condition. It is commonly associated with PTSD, anxiety, mood and emotional regulation issues, and often ASD is missed in high masking ASD women (and probably less often high masking men) with PTSD. If your son has ASD & ADHD it's a really good idea to watch in-depth lived experiences of high masking women diagnosed with ASD late in life as many of them have been misdiagnosed with Anxiety, Depression, PTSD, etc etc If anything resonates, you might want to consider getting a detailed and sensitive ASD assessment for yourself as if it did turn out you are also on the spectrum then it would absolutely explain why coping would be extra hard and it will help to identify the right kinds of support you might need on top of the support for your son. Whichever way you go, I hope that you are able to find the support you need and it is provided in the way you need it. Parenting is hard and raising kids on the spectrum can be extra hard without the right support.

[@azimhashim1709]

My child was so playful and very interactive since 1year of using doctor Dr Omena and now he is verbal and also improve in social skills

[@annak29]

This may describe SOME presentations of autism, but definitely not the full range of possibilities. Not all autistic kids are aversive toward physical connection and affection. They are super loving, sweet, clingy, and have very close bonds with their mothers. These are the ones who have difficulty separating for going to school, have difficulty making friends bc they expect the same physical and emotional affection from kids that they get from their mothers. They think peers don't like them if they don't receive the attention and affection from peers that they get from their mother. So they live in a constant perceived state of rejection by peers, when it's not actually peer rejection, it's the autistic child's inflexibility and errent social expectations. A psychiatrist would naturally have this bias, as these are the ones who are "problematic" at home and come to her office for help.

[@mffmoniz2948]

My kid is not too clingy, but she is very affectionate. She laughs, hugs, looks at people. However she has trouble interpreting some things and that causes problems for her at school, especially when dealing with more than one kid. And I stay at home and have no way to know if it's her perception or how much is her perception. If she's as fully rejected as she describes. If one bad moment ruins how she views the entire day. We hope to find her a specialist who can teach her tips about the other kids.

[@mkhan9764]

My son has been diagnosed with mild to moderate Autism. Now that I'm back in his life I intend to do the best for my son in terms of his social & educational development. Let's see what happens. Chin up.💪😇

[@samuelp5854]

There is no such thing as ‘mild’ autism

[@samanthaeaston7186]

Great info. Speaker is stimming from side to side as she delivers this awesome speech.

[@aryanakurillo3536]

Yes. Often ppl even without special needs do.

[@sarahismail8085]

You guys are blessed that Max can talk.

[@TobychaserTobychaser]

It's been hard to find good content on understanding autism. So much of it is rambling on about whatever but this was good, thank you.

[@heryzo-prdk]

I love the perspective. Thank you for sharing. As a dad of a 15y.o autistic son, I'm searching for resources helping dads to help more develop their autistic kid/teenage

[@favourjohn312]

This doc helped my son improve and get over autism with his herbs His name is Dr Oyalo on channel on KZbin My son has improved and completely responds to his name with lots of understanding like never before Thank you Dr Oyalo

[@kanibal5003]

I have a four year old who recently got diagnosed with autism. Do you have in resources?

[@user-nx3il8di6m]

Since the final taking of your herbs, my son has been speaking well and responding to his name Thank you Dr Omena for saving my son with your herbs. I’m so happy to share this news

[@user-ev9sw4ee8j]

Dr Oyalo herbs is really helpful, and have helped my son improve with his speech and social skill complete. My son now responds to name, his aggressive behavior has stoped completely

[@aprilmonroe7890]

I enjoyed this...its important that the mom connects to the child on many different levels

[@scottsegan6684]

i have mild autism and im so weeiirrdd! everyone at school says it and i just wanna be a lil' more normal. im also very sensitive, if someone points out something i did wrong i burst into tears for some reason. also it's very hard to focus in the classroom, so i get bad grades and all my friends have good grades. i used to have a friend who was super weird like me and we got along very well. sadly i moved schools. oh, now im just ranting about my life haha. also i come off as rude to people and i dont know why :(. i try to be nice but it ends up sounding mean so i dont make a lot of friends. i also dont think she knows what se is talking about because autistic people arent always angry i had an autistic friend and he was siz at the time i knew him. he was very sweet and he always liked giving hugs and greeting everyone.

[@grokker99]

heythere whatsup hi there. Try and follow what ur parents and teachers tell you to do even if it doesnt make sense at first. It will help with some of the misunderstandings that cause people to think youre being rude or weird. Ok? Keep up the great work and things will get better!! :)

[@annailles8625]

@Monica Sanchez if your child is having communication issues it could be beneficial to seek out a speech pathologist proficient with working with people on the spectrum

[@annailles8625]

Check if there's any social skills groups in your area. Fitting in is a balance between conforming to society while also remaining true to who you are inside and it's good to get help.

[@Dancestar1981]

Anna Illes drama groups are terrific for this

[@executivefunction7576]

Stop labeling yourself. Don't worry about being weird. Don't worry about being normal. What qualifies as normal changes every year... Once upon a time tatoos were taboo and now they are the norm... (Don't run out and get a tattoo just to be normal.) As long as you are safe, don't worry about what anyone else thinks of you. Focus on figuring out what you need to do well in school. Spend time mastering everything that is of interest and important to you. You'll likely be surprised to find people who appreciate you along the way. 💚

[@cafeconlechegrl]

The stress and anxiety made me sick…😢😢😢😢😢 My family don’t care… What advice do you have for mothers that have health issues and trying to raise autistic child?

[@jenniferevans904]

This Ted talk isn't about autism. This is about family therapy.

[@Neilgs]

No Jennifer, no. It is what should be addressed and elaborated many time over. It is the family's engagement. knowing how to go to the level of the child's heterogeneous (individual) processing differences ; deepening reciprocal affect attachment and attunement; entering the child's play that allows precisely for an expansion of that child's gestural reciprocity, ideation and expressive language!

[@rozloutsios953]

@@Neilgs I like to add some other areas where parents have an absolute moral duty is to connect on a very much deeper emotional and spiritual level by showing genuine love and caring. Also, cultivating more positive energy and letting go of their continual feelings of anxiety and disappointment which simply frightens the child to the point of closing off and becoming incapable of coping with the usual social skills that are demanded of him or her.

[@Neilgs]

@@rozloutsios953 That is integral part of healthy secure based attachment. As far as, ".. letting go of their continual feelings of anxiety and disappointment", many of us come from histories of complex PTSD, so, therefore, that is not always so doable. However, understanding what we are doing, i.e., gaining deeper emotional access and insight into oneselves should always be the first priority , so we can interact, engage, communicate from a deeper place of honesty and AUTHENTICITY, rather than for example, unconsciously(as so many do) transfer our own unfaced terrors, anxieties and fears, etc., upon our chidlren!

[@azimhashim1709]

My child was so playful and very interactive since 1year of using doctor Dr Omena and now he is verbal and also improve in social skills

[@user-nx3il8di6m]

Since the final taking of your herbs, my son has been speaking well and responding to his name Thank you Dr Omena for saving my son with your herbs. I’m so happy to share this news

[@amaebarnes]

Describing my daughter perfectly

[@samanthamartin9712]

Ty for sharing

[@Neilgs]

It is not, as the speaker says, "Everyday is like a surprise party and everything is new for the autistic child" It is a bit more nuanced. The question is not the child holding the memory of mommy in mind but at a subcortical and autonomic nervous system level, whether or not everything feels (at an affective level) safe and secure as to not compromise internal affective regulation resulting in ALL or Nothing (limbic, LHPA) based reactions.

[@Neilgs]

Actually excellent talk! As a Developmental therapist using an affect relationship based approach (DIR/Floortime) this is precisely the piece that woefully and continually remains largely unaddressed. As much as we don't want to look at it , as clinicians and primary caregivers it is absolutely quintessential, critical, to have the parents to go directly to the child's level, deepening affect reciprocal attachment, attunement and add affective (emotional) variations around your child's affect sensory modulation processing differences (e.g., hyper hypo mixed responsivities across various sensory). This allow for a welcoming, a deeper integration and emergence and expansion of symbolic ideation and expressive language!

[@phenitagomes1292]

@@Neilgs yes yes yes. How do we stop having autistic children. Life isn't bubble gums and sprinkles. There are people that can find out whether or not their child will have Down syndrome before they're even born. I wonder if they would know autism in advance?. The advice is effective when one have time and patience. AND it only goes smoothly once or twice every five try, depending on the childs mood. I know ppl with multiple children with autism. Prevention is the cure to this life sentence.

[@rogersken9850]

I used Dr Omena herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on speech delay and ASD. I met Dr Omena on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it

[@azimhashim1709]

Since the final taking of your herbs, my son has been speaking well and responding to his name Thank you Dr Omena for saving my son with your herbs. I’m so happy to share this news

[@user-nx3il8di6m]

Since the final taking of your herbs, my son has been speaking well and responding to his name Thank you Dr Omena for saving my son with your herbs. I’m so happy to share this news

[@nahoryb-b6995]

This may be a rather outdated talk as the terminology the presenter uses is perhaps not assertive. However, it may be helpful for some parents. Some valuable messages to take from this: be aware of your child's needs regardless of how 'unusual' they may be. Be open as a parent to connect in different ways. Importantly, do not change your child to be 'normal' help your child to develop strengths. This in turn will help you to develop too. Sometimes it is best to accept certain behaviours, despite of their unusual quality, when innocuous and harmless. Other times is best to guide them. We are in a stage where as researchers, academics, and practitioners, we are prompting people to move from awareness into acceptance of autism. Let us help to encourage patience and tolerance towards people with autism and towards neurotypical people.

[@paulfincher506]

Totally agree.

[@Meowscles232ca]

I found it challenging to watch past the beginning because of the terminology

[@paulfincher506]

"Seemingless behaviour"? Just because you dont understand it doesnt mean to say its meaning less. If someone is talking a different language, that you dont understand, Doesnt mean what they saying is useless. It just means that you have to learn their language to communicate effectively. Also some of the description about everything being always new, like we dont have a memory, I take issue with. Its not a good way of thinking about it. Its more like there is probably just too much stuff to take in and we become overwhelmed by all the input. Imagine being on a very scarily fast roller-coaster and then someone trying to get you to do maths? how good would you be?

[@paulfincher506]

@NEW HOPE INSURANCE LTD Hmmmm... Maybe these herbs help with the anxiety, making your son more relaxed, but I doubt that they can effect the underlining brain development.

[@phenitagomes1292]

How about you get up there and tell us then. Ppl with autism need to help other with autism. No one ask for this struggle. So instead of judging someone who is trying to help. Why don't you actually say something helpful instead of complaining about your parents or teachers.

[@LegionWolves]

Yeah I didn’t like some of the things she said

[@Fuzzy_frog.]

@@phenitagomes1292This is quite late and your opinions could have changed by now, but you don’t tell a classmate 2+2=5 and when you get corrected someone else says “They were just trying to help! If you care so much, stop complaining and do it yourself!”. That isn’t fair to anyone.

[@freetobme]

beautifully stated!!👋👋

[@Chris-hy8mv]

I have 2 boys 19 and 22 who both have been diagnosed with autism. My youngest has gone manic to the point of not going to sleep for 2 or 3 days then will crash for a couple of hours then wakes up once again. Both my kids are non verbal. Can anyone offer advice?

[@p.langdale5892]

A good start would be not to say they :have: autism. They are Autistic. Treat them with the same respect as anyone deserves. Love them and help them and accept them for who they are.

[@lostindisorder]

Does anyone know what can help reduce that high pitch buzz/ringing when the video is playing? (Windows)

[@mommyspassion3389]

Watching this crying bc I'm a mother of a 5yr old autism son.

[@allisonmacdonald5252]

Mommyspassion my son is six with autism. I know there's difficulty in some ways but just know they are perfect.

[@JasleenKaur-bp7dr]

Theyr normal and have different way of thinking we can taise child do there way and can they be very good in other ways we can't think traditional way

[@azimhashim1709]

Since the final taking of your herbs, my son has been speaking well and responding to his name Thank you Dr Omena for saving my son with your herbs. I’m so happy to share this news

[@scrimbo1034]

i have never truly disliked a video sure i disliked the youtube rewind but that was for shits and giggles. But when i read the comments. i was furious. the only time i really disliked a video was from a channel i learned from. wow

[@jaxmeteur]

..why? I learned a lot about myself watching this video, it actually taught me what I need to improve on and think

[@azimhashim1709]

Since the final taking of your herbs, my son has been speaking well and responding to his name Thank you Dr Omena for saving my son with your herbs. I’m so happy to share this news

[@toyaspence9516]

I am so depress before pregnancy...and now it's worse and I have an autistic toddler to raise ....

[@rogersperry5110]

Dr. Sherkow's presentation offers an embarrassingly outdated able-ist perspective on how to think about and interact with autistic children and their families. She offers no coherent neuro-developmental explanation for why autistics and neurotypicals have difficulty sharing each other's worlds and, as a result, puts all the blame on the mother who we are to assume has frozen the child's emotional expressiveness--no doubt by dint of her refrigerator behavior. No mention is made of the particular sensory-motor differences that contribute to the child's play-style (which btw Dr. Sherkow derisively dismisses as "an excuse for play") and no clinical responsibility is assumed by Dr. Sherkow for supporting the mother with pragmatic, actionable ideas for engaging her child at the level of his special interests--e.g. what is the name of his favorite show that he is watching-she assumes-for mere "comfort"? How might the therapist or caretaker find a way to engage starting with his interest in the show instead of dismissing it and dragging the child into a kind of parody of a psychoanalytic session. Does anybody still believe that the only acceptable framework for treatment is to see autistic children as failed versions of typical children who may only be included in typical settings by demonstrating typical symbolic play so they can go onto live typical lives and leave their autism behind? The case Dr Sherkow recounts is almost comically contrived: As soon as the child accepts the analyst's--let's face it, facile--interpretation for his ostensible aggression, the refrigerator mother is wheeled back onto the set for a contrived hug and we are made to assume that this little psychodrama is the very picture of a successful treatment intervention. First the boy behind the (autistic) shell must be "reached" by a penetrating insight--you are afraid your mother won't or cannot comfort you and your unconscious is trying to tell you this by making you notice a book in my office with the-title, "Spot Hiding From his Mother." Do psychoanalysts still really believe that by interpreting the supposed unconscious reason "behind" the child's play (according to metapsychological postulates from mid-20th century) an autistic child will have all his neurological problems suddenly disappear and finally become the treasured "typical" child that his mother could never emotionally birth? Does anyone listening to this case presentation really believe that the boy reached unconsciously over for a book called--conveniently--"Spot Hiding from his Mother."? It's a contrivance that betrays Dr Sherkow's obvious theoretical agenda. She is determined to construct the interaction in such a way that her theoretical model is neatly confirmed--and God forbid she display any theoretical humility around the complexity of forming shared experiences with kids with neurological differences. It has to be a story of a heroic helper unlocking a symbolic prison and freeing the "real" child within the "autistic shell." It's a one-size-fits-all analytic fix that should have been retired with Bettelheim.

[@screwmuckduck8905]

As someone with mild autism or Asperger’s, I’ve learned little to no coping mechanisms over the years as I’ve left high school trying to survive the world like everyone else neurotypical, now living an unproductive dependent life, and I’ve heard almost no explanations on the type of Aspie bitter with the world and looks to examine factors for what went so wrong with his life. I say ‘his’ because it’s usually always males. I have to say this information even today falls on deaf ears, and doesn’t always provide nearly enough examples to potentially solve this issue. Sometimes I can’t share any thoughts to my mom or anyone close who hasn’t the slightest clue about my condition if it’s even a misdiagnosis. Add to the fact I’ve developed certain habits that could make the matters even worse. And I think this type of thing rubs shoulders with the topic mental illness going on in the country. Now this could be refutable, but for normal cases of autism, sometimes I wonder if they correlate to the parents who are very goody-two shoes.

[@JessicaRode]

YES. THIS.

[@rachellamb2564]

I know you wrote this 3 years ago, but thank you for doing so. My son is currently being screened and so of course I'm watching all of TED Talks playlists about how to support autistic children and I got about 3 minutes into this one before it started to feel wrong. I'll skip the rest of this and look for others lead by autistic speakers instead. Thank you.

[@paulfincher506]

Yep. I feel the same as you about her approach. Autism cant be "cured". We dont need fixing. We need support, understanding and inclusion.

[@favourjohn312]

This doc helped my son improve and get over autism with his herbs His name is Dr Oyalo on channel on KZbin My son has improved and completely responds to his name with lots of understanding like never before Thank you Dr Oyalo

[@azimhashim1709]

My child was so playful and very interactive since 1year of using doctor Dr Omena and now he is verbal and also improve in social skills

[@EmberHarrington]

NOISE HURTS BAD PLEASE TURN HONK LOCK OFF 😢😢😢😢😢😢 HOW TO TURN HONK OFF: PRESS LOCK AND UNLOCK ON FOB AT THE SAME TIME FOR 2- 4 SECONDS HAZARDS FLASH MEANS HONK IS OFF (CONTACT DEALER IF ASSISTANCE IS NEEDED AS SOME CARS MIGHT BE SLIGHTLY DIFFFERENT)

[@favourjohn312]

I want to share about a herbal recommendations I got about Dr Oyalo on KZbin and his herbal remedy which work perfectly on my sons improvements and social skill till now. He now speakers in sentences, responds to name and instructions, no more aggressiveness and many more unlike him before

[@irinas296]

I am not a doctor, but I am a mother, and the way she describes autistic children is not true. Maybe there is a story, but this story doesn't apply to all of autistic people, but she makes it sound like it. They are all different as well as neurotipical people are. Their development is individual, and their logic and way of thinking is different for each individual. The baby story at the beginning, just puts me down, not true... people, please don't believe this. 😒

[@playsavedthechild.2848]

I believe her. Had similar experience with informal intervention. But like you say, everyone is unique. Good luck to anyone that struggles to connect.

[@paulfincher506]

You speak a lot of truth. Best wishes.

[@ednaatluxton4918]

Exactly. My son has been the same daily for years. Severe sibs, same likes(few) same routine. He hates change. Very few are as severe as him and 26 years below their age cognitively

[@azimhashim1709]

Since the final taking of your herbs, my son has been speaking well and responding to his name Thank you Dr Omena for saving my son with your herbs. I’m so happy to share this news

[@user-nx3il8di6m]

Since the final taking of your herbs, my son has been speaking well and responding to his name Thank you Dr Omena for saving my son with your herbs. I’m so happy to share this news

[@an_anishinaabe_son]

My whole family disowned me for being Autistic.

[@saramoroza-james914]

It's simply not true that children with autism have 'no problem with things motoric'. Maybe for text book people with autism but not in reality!! I have a child who regressed who lost many motor abilities when he lost the skills associated with this diagnosis.I know and have encountered hundreds of families who have also experienced this. Having said this I haven't encountered a child who can't pick things up. Also want to point out that not all children on the spectrum are good with IT/ computers. It's not universal - and it's annoying that you make those assumptions and generalisations. Sorry!

[@ThereAreThoseWhoCallMeTim]

To people who like to vent about how much your autistic children, students, or patients drive you insane and make you miserable: You have NO idea how much anxiety, frustration, self-loathing, loneliness, and sadness many of us have to go through nearly every single day, partially because of how you talk about us when we aren’t around. Believe it or not, most of us on the spectrum are fully aware of how much of a “handful” we can be for you, and we feel deeply ashamed and guilty as a result. We care about your hardship and suffering as much as you care about ours (the people who claim we are generally incapable of empathy or feeling the pain of others are full of s%;t). If we could stop doing the things that stress you out so much, we absolutely would. But just like a man with severe paralysis can’t simply get off his wheelchair to lessen the burden of those taking care of him, we simply cannot “stop being autistic” as much as we would love to make things much easier for you. If it’s wrong to complain about having to look after someone with physical disabilities, then it’s also wrong to complain about caring for people with developmental disabilities as if you are the true victim. Yes you are dealing with A LOT, you are being pushed to your limits, your patience and resilience is being out to the test; but if you truly and genuinely care about us and not want us to feel like worthless parasites, then stop talking about us as if we are a constant source of pain and stress and headaches. We may not be there when you talk about us like that, but we can hear you. And it not only hurts us A LOT, but it completely contradicts you telling us that we are “fully loved and embraced for who we are” and are “not a burden in the slightest.”

[@keneilwemalegase8185]

Love you❤

[@spaceforthesoul6286]

Well said. Yes we hear you. And that hurts and hurts!

[@JenniferJohnson-ub3gt]

It is possible for someone to be a burden and be loved at the same time. It's not an either or thing. I have three children with asd. I love them very much, but they are also using up every ounch of strength I have just to stay alive.

[@ThereAreThoseWhoCallMeTim]

@@JenniferJohnson-ub3gt 1) How do you want your children to see themselves as human beings; 2) How would you feel if, throughout your life, your parents and countless others constantly reminded you that you caused them pain and discomfort no matter how hard you tried to be a good girl to everyone; 3) Do you believe that it’s justified to treat innocent people as anything less than human beings with feelings and emotions just like you and me just because you’re exhausted and stressed out? *ANSWER THE QUESTIONS HONESTLY BEFORE YOU ACCUSE ME OF NOT CARING ABOUT YOUR SITUATION OR HOW MUCH YOU HAVE TO PUT UP WITH! YOU DON’T GET TO BE A VICTIM WHEN YOU LOOK AT YOUR ASD CHILDREN AND SEE THEM AS A BURDEN TO ANY EXTENT, BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT CAUSES THEM SELF-ESTEEM AND SELF-CONFIDENCE ISSUES! PERIOD!!! AND YES, THEY CAN HEAR YOU WHEN YOU TALK BEHIND THEIR BACK AND THEY ARE AWARE OF HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THEM REGARDLESS OF WHETE THEY LIE ON THE SPECTRUM!*

[@ThereAreThoseWhoCallMeTim]

@@JenniferJohnson-ub3gt One more thing: People with ASD cannot control their autism or “stop being so annoying” anymore than a left-handed person can control their left-handed or “stop being such a freak”. Yes, it is the same thing - you’re born with it, you don’t get a choice over whether you have it or both, and *there. is. no. cure.* Anyone who tells you otherwise is a pseudo-intellectual con artist preying on parents like you who are struggling to fully accept neurodiversity into their lives.

[@carolynkeelin4761]

Please tell me more.

[@judymengich3005]

Am Judy from Kenya qualified caregiver with children with special needs

[@vvdd903]

this did not help me much. i have a non verbal toddler. anyone have recommendations of any other video

[@Retroglamamour]

Susan sounded so out of breath during this talk, it gave me anxiety more than teach anything 😣 Felt like I was out of breath at the end of this video from listening to her breathing

[@mauricemartin7026]

Just found out today my son has asd.

[@brendahines4153]

It’s so hard

[@autismgoggles5356]

I find it offensive that you think parents and therapists have to 'cope' with us. Are we so intolerable that this kind of negative, pathologizing language is necessary? The Double Empathy bind indeed.

[@alleycat616]

As a parent it can be very difficult and stressful to have an autistic child. You don’t understand because you’ve never been on the other end. That’s not meant to be hurtful to the autistic child or mean we love them any less. But it can be, yes, difficult to cope sometimes. You can try to use a different word but it doesn’t change the truth and there’s no point in letting it upset you.

[@1777DK]

There are some very generalised gender specific assumptions in this talk.

[@1777DK]

@NEW HOPE INSURANCE LTD No, neurological challenges cannot be treated with herbs.

[@user-nx3il8di6m]

Since the final taking of your herbs, my son has been speaking well and responding to his name Thank you Dr Omena for saving my son with your herbs. I’m so happy to share this news

[@ann.usually_beautiful]

Hello my 3 year old child does not speak anything. Please advise how to help her

[@1lagarti]

Talk to a doctor. I don't know where you live but if you're in the US there are programs that help you for little to no cost. My 2yr old son is receiving therapy for speech delay. My toddl e may be autistic we are trying to get him diagnosed. Early intervention is the best for kids with developmental delays. Luck

[@sproodledoodle6026]

Hi. I haven't speak until I was 3 years old. Now I can speak in 3 languages fluently. What your kid needs is your patience and love. That's all.

[@Neilgs]

It is not about "speaking" it is about simple to complex back and forth engaging.

[@annailles8625]

Seek out a speech pathologist, they are very proficient in addressing speech delays

[@Neilgs]

@@annailles8625 Sorry, Anna, but that is terribly naive. They are NOT very proficient in addressing "speech delays." Speech delays unless there are specific oral motor issues primarily have to to do with the core underlying Developmental-Emotional aspects of back and forth deepening reciprocal attachment and attunement; this involves how (especially a child on spectrum) is engaging. The fact is that 93% of language in nonverbal- affective (emotional) nuanced engagement, prosody of voice, inflexion, rhythm, pause, facial and somatic expression; essentially affect or emotional cuing. The other 7 % spoken. Most (not all) speech pathologists have very little understanding of the functional-emotional developmental foundations that are required; the subcortical areas of the brain and the associated autonomic regulation, which creates the foundations for what we refer to as executive functioning (ideation, planning, language). Consequently , the social-pragmatics of simple back and forth social-emotional conversational exchanges/utterances are either not addressed or extremely poorly addressed.

[@geyj1]

I think Max, is it? the autistic boy was very reachable and very easy to look after. His mother would have given up if he was like my son!! How about when they are severely autistic with challenging behaviour. After listening to this lady I think I was an amazing mother and still am although I had to let go of my boy as he got older, bigger and very dangers. He almost killed me and has left me disabled!! I gave my son all of myself and looked after him on my own so beautifully and gave him wings but sadly I'm not there to watch him fly. This is very painful as suddenly most of my life is gone and I'm on my own, disabled and haven't got anything to show for all the hard work. How about in cases like my son who grow up and aren't little boys any more?! Why there is no help for them ?! The only thing is to take them and put then in special homes far far away and leaving a massive hole in my life. This is brutal and it always comes down to money :((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( So what does this woman wants from giving this talk?! Oh, you were amazing and you did very well!! Show me what you can do with the very challenging severely autistic children!! I remember as a mother I used to find people like her very annoying. We the mothers and fathers know how to deal with our autistic children but we need help. If we are given the right amount of money we can show you and teach you how to look after these beautiful and special kids and then adults.

[@sedaoz1010]

Faranak Peart Being the patent of an autistic child is a highly stressful and challenging task as he can be severely violent when he gets frustrated. It may be an ordeal being in public with the child in case he throws a tantrum. The parents need psychological support which is not always easy to get.

[@cookingkelly1192]

Hello I am so glad to see your message I am going through so much with my caustic son he looks normal well what is normal?but all I could do is cry lately just thinking what will happen with my son as I get older and sicker things just are not looking up and he is a teen now and his thinking is so distorted of what he feels life is I am just hurt I have given my everything and when he has behaviors when he dont get his way he is so mean to mean xss as I try to talk with him I cant even imagine what you feel I am sorry do you have any tips or recommendations for me we hat can help

[@playsavedthechild.2848]

I know of an AT child that treats his mom badly, hurts her. I don't have advice but I empathise. It is hard not knowing what to do.

[@gagebatek1809]

@@cookingkelly1192 have you tried making your house more accessible and possibly going to therapy like ot? And does he have any way of communicating?

[@cookingkelly1192]

@@gagebatek1809 hello gage thank you for your help.He did start therapy but was unable to stay focused so was not getting anything from the cousling .he is now 16 and one day he just wanted to stop his medications for his behaviors and let me tell you we had the police here because absolute dangerous but have withdrawals of 2month he seems to get to know himself and seems to be doing better but will start therapy again .thank you very much God bless you always

[@carolynkeelin4761]

I want to hear more from this speaker.

[@paulfincher506]

To be honest there are better people with a more enlightened attitude. Try "Tony Attwood" for a start.

[@ataveras5123]

Very Helpful Video Thank You!

[@weplop9937]

I am 22 years old and autistic. My parents are strict. Parents of autistic children, stop yelling at your special needs child! That is verbal abuse. Police will stop you.

[@ericpowers8957]

It’s not true with every autistic person

[@aryanakurillo3536]

Many things have many different variations. We take what applies to us and leave what doesn't. Good video!

[@user-ev9sw4ee8j]

Dr Oyalo herbs is really helpful, and have helped my son improve with his speech and social skill complete. My son now responds to name, his aggressive behavior has stoped completely

[@autismandstuff8532]

Neurotypical people be like: “Autism doesn’t allow people to develop.” me: and who made you the expert on people you no nothing about?! Let me guess another neurotypical person who agrees with the “I am autism” video that autism speaks made? In the words of "ASD to ASD” “the real experts on autism ARE autistic”

[@codyellis5276]

i feel when you use the word disorder you make it sound like some things wrong with them

[@p.langdale5892]

Things are changing and have changed since then. I hope she realises now that it is NOT a disorder at all.

[@alleycat616]

Obviously they are not operating normally/typically so yes it is a disorder. Otherwise there wouldn’t even be a diagnosis. People need to stop being such babies about everything.

[@leoluis9546]

I’m so happy my daughter can talk very well 😊 with doctor isibor Herbal product on KZbin, no side effect and it works great 👍 😊

[@erikaschutz2947]

my opinion on the explanation is: It is not an underdevelopment, IT IS AN EVOLUTIONARY UPDATE

[@alleycat616]

Sorry no. An update would make you even more functional in the world not less.

[@nalakabandara4333]

My daughter age is 2year 8 months .she is not giving much attention to us and delayed activity .and also she can only tell five words .done eeg test and identified epilepsy .now she is takeing medicine . But still her improvement is not enough when comparing same age one . My question is how to identify autism correctly ? Is there any good treatment ? What are the reasons for this situation ?

[@paulfincher506]

Where do you live in the world? Go to your doctor and get a diagnosis. If they are autistic they dont need "treatment" but your family will need support. Its a different neurotype, that is all. Probably genetic. About 2% of the population have it. Same ratio for both girls and boys! True! Dont be told girls dont get it. A lot of autistic children will have a fulfilling life. I know! There might be other learning disabilities though. That is why seeing a good autistic specialist and an early diagnosis is essential. Best wishes and good luck!

[@favourjohn312]

I want to share about a herbal recommendations I got about Dr Oyalo on KZbin and his herbal remedy which work perfectly on my sons improvements and social skill till now. He now speakers in sentences, responds to name and instructions, no more aggressiveness and many more unlike him before

[@azimhashim1709]

Since the final taking of your herbs, my son has been speaking well and responding to his name Thank you Dr Omena for saving my son with your herbs. I’m so happy to share this news

[@saramoroza-james914]

Mother at the door for someone with autism doesn't mean food is on the way. What nonsense is this? It's so ludicrous and far from reality, I don't know where to begin with it. IT'S NOT ALL NEW ALL THE TIME. I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO TELL YOU HOW FAR OFF THE MARK THIS IS. I have to stop listening now - this sounded promising at first. It's total rubbish

[@paulfincher506]

Very out of date attitude to Autism. Look up "Tony Attwood" he knows his beans. Best wishes.

[@favourjohn312]

I want to share about a herbal recommendations I got about Dr Oyalo on KZbin and his herbal remedy which work perfectly on my sons improvements and social skill till now. He now speakers in sentences, responds to name and instructions, no more aggressiveness and many more unlike him before

[@lostindisorder]

@Alexander Mike revolting that you're (all you scam bots) pushing vulnerable parents into drugging up their kids with things that could very well be detrimental to their mental health/developing brains.

[@nancyzehr3679]

you are seeing these kids from your nuero type mind. we do not work that way. sorry.

[@lord-lala]

Wow! Really out of date!

[@doedicurus]

jesus christ, bring a bottle of water on stage. People don't want to hear a speaker wet their mouth throughout their talk.

[@favourjohn312]

I want to share about a herbal recommendations I got about Dr Oyalo on KZbin and his herbal remedy which work perfectly on my sons improvements and social skill till now. He now speakers in sentences, responds to name and instructions, no more aggressiveness and many more unlike him before

[@edwardcroce4193]

See you go backwards spending more time on how it happened. It’s here. It’s now. Please put down the microphone and hand it to a real person.

[@Morpheusarrow]

What a confused rant …

[@anonomosplendid0822]

first of all keep these little pukes off the internet

[@p.langdale5892]

@Alexander Mike Rubbish!

[@user-sw7jm8os1q]

This is nonsense.

[@floridahistory5220]

It’s because so many parents these days leave their kids in front of a tv, phone, computer, etc and then expect them to be able to automatically know how to socialize and get a job.

[@annailles8625]

As a society overall we are learning less and less social skills

[@gagebatek1809]

No just no

[@MrsLollie411]

No most autísticas have learned to mask

[@dianneholden5429]

@Alexander Mike doc herbs???

[@alleycat616]

Sorry no that’s not what autism is dear. And it’s exactly this kind of thinking that just causes even more stress and hardship for parents of autistic children.

[@user-nx3il8di6m]

Since the final taking of your herbs, my son has been speaking well and responding to his name Thank you Dr Omena for saving my son with your herbs. I’m so happy to share this news