Hoarding Disorder Case Study

[@TheDoodleZone]

My mother is a hoarder. I lived among heaping piles of trash. The spare bedroom was filled up to the doorknob with garbage bags full of magazines and newspapers. the living room had stacks of newspapers and magazines all over the floor everywhere. You could never see the floor in any room of the house. Even the couch would be covered in magazines. there were heaping piles of sunflower seed shells on the floor next to her chair. Growing up between 3 and 18 years old I was used to climbing over piles of trash to get in and out of the house going to school. she wouldn't let us open the front door for fear anybody in the neighborhood would see inside.She never let anybody come to the house. And she forced me into silence making me promise that I would never tell anybody. After I moved out, I finally realized that my childhood was absolutely not normal. My mom was diagnosed OCD/Bipolar after I went to college because I threatened not to come back if she didn't seek help. I had to go to therapy for a couple years in college to get over the issues I had with my mom. I'm very glad I did that. UPDATE: my mom just died back in April 2022. I went back to Georgia and my Husband and I tried to clean out the hell house. We completely filled a haul-away dumpster with only two rooms in the house. The piles in the kitchen had become as tall as me. There was a pile of uneaten food in my old bedroom up to my chin. Worst of all, my Mom had created an unbelievable abomination in the living room. It was an ABSOLUTELY MASSIVE fortress made of cook-books, magazines, newspapers, uneaten food, peanut-jars full of loose change, thrift store clothes, half eaten food, empty 2 liter bottles, random pillows, and broken television sets. You couldn't see any part of the sofa or the coffee table because they were 100% buried. There was absolutely NO WAY to reach the TV, at all! The smell (or air) in the house gave my husband thunderclap migraines, which he had never experienced before. And we found a large family of rats buried in the pile in the living room. It was horrendous. I feel so terrible for my parents, having lived in that putrid filth. But.... on the plus-side, my Dad got his first cell/smart phone. And our relationship is now 1000% closer/better than it's been the last 14 years.

[@DeidreL9]

It’s very tough, especially growing up with it. Good for you getting help. Best wishes 🤗

[@Kepi_Kei]

We must be sisters, I swear you described my life. I didn't think of going to therapy but I wish I had. I am 62 and have been raised in a dysfunctional home, and it still affects me as far as bitter memories. I felt like my mom really didn't know what was happening. She died in August and had a 5 bedroom home crammed to the gills of things that were clearly trash. My sister and I are cleaning out her house and omg I can't even tell you all the brand new things in their boxes in the closet.

[@TheDoodleZone]

@@Kepi_Kei yep that'll happen when my mother passes. Its a difficult life to live. I couldn't imagine having a mental disorder that causes me to live in a giant pig-pen.

[@TheDoodleZone]

@@shanny4306 yes I love her. I just wish my childhood would have been better.

[@kimanez9391]

Another family member had been hoarding, a terrible flood took out the hoard and her husband wouldn't even allow the Rubbermaid tubs back in the house after the mold had been treated. I remember when her youngest learned to walk. She walked like in giant steps. It finally hit me that she was used to having to climb over the piles and didn't know how to walk with her legs together. Two years old and she didn't walk normally because she didn't get enough practice.

[@helenannelder8860]

I recognized in myself some early stages of this hoarding disorder, specifically buying multiples if items, buying clothes I never wear and collecting many Knick knacks. I understand why I might do these things ; poverty in childhood, masking my fears about my future and feeling overwhelmed. If I don’t face up to these realities, I could become like Tracy. I guess it is time to call the therapist. Thanks for the information and insight.

[@goodintentions1302]

Good luck finding a therapist who actually helps! Definitely easier said than done.

[@faith6833]

My father grew up in a poor family. He always had those tendencies. Thank goodness my mother had a lot of influence.

[@louise-yo7kz]

I have the same issues too. Also emotional abuse. Child parent bonding issues.

[@Indusxstan]

Congratulations. You are able to see the path ahead.

[@carolnahigian9518]

At least you admitted it.

[@allyson5712]

It sounds like control plays a big part in hoarding. When some people suffer a huge loss of control in some part of their life, they start controlling what they can in an extreme way. My heart goes out to them as there must be a lot of pain under all that stuff. Thanks Dr. Grande.

[@allyson5712]

Erika, Wow! It sounds like you’ve lived through a lot, and learned a lot, too!!!

[@andrewrobertson3894]

Good observation, Allyson. I agree with you.

[@ybrueckner5589]

Allyson You are right about that I had a colleague who died of anorexia after unsuccessfully parenting a child with morbid obesity

[@ethanpoole3443]

As someone who is a moderate hoarder I can certainly see that as my hoarding existed to a degree from a very early age (I’d say by age 8-9) but really took off in adolescence where I was subjected to severe abuse (mostly by peers and teachers, but some issues at home as well) for many years (ages 12-18) to the point of my physical health completely collapsing by age 18 leaving me permanently disabled (which set off another 6 years of medical trauma from my monthly “terminal diagnoses of the month” doctor visits as they tried to understand my rapidly deteriorating health starting at age 18 when I lost 20 pounds in 2 weeks due to being unable to eat anything solid followed by many other new chronic health issues that have persisted ever since...all courtesy of abuse)...then came the trauma at 22/23 of a very violent relationship (I finally had to leave when it got to the point where I feared the very real possibility of waking up to a slit throat) with a partner that I would later discover to have been an undiagnosed Borderline (she was also an abuse survivor, so not entirely her fault and sadly proper help for Borderlines did not exist anywhere in the early 90s). I also struggle with Complex PTSD and likely would meet the definition for AvPD (but no formal diagnosis) or, at the very least, extremely strong Avoidant traits as I have neither made a new friend (until a couple months ago) nor dated in 26 years (maybe someday, though I can’t imagine inflicting myself on someone as I’m a proper mess from a mental health and chronic illness perspective due to past abuse) despite the loneliness as I struggle to trust anyone after a very abusive partner 26 years ago destroyed the last of my ability to trust others, though I did finally begin therapy last year as the memories of abuse began flooding back last January (2019) and everything started to unravel insofar as the C-PTSD and I was teetering on the edge of suicide for the first time in nearly 30 years. Thankfully my “piles” are rarely more than 6-12” (15-30cm) high and my paths are usually about 3 feet (1m) wide so not nearly as bad as one would see on TV (nothing is going to collapse on anyone and no old or rotten food or disgusting trash, just lots of items, books, papers, hobby equipment, dust, etc....and a terrible weakness for stuffed Easter bunnies as they make me smile no matter how bad my severe chronic pain is) and, thankfully, there does eventually reach a point of clutter where my resistance to throwing things out seems to undergo a reset every 10-15 years if too much clutter accumulates...though I then slowly start over. My grandfather, on the other hand, had two large barns and three large warehouses piled as high as I am tall, and sometimes higher (plus large attics/lofts in the barns, so two floors...I’m afraid to know how many thousands of square feet of floor space!) - my cousin and I actually had to move all that stuff one summer in our teens! - I’m very grateful to not be nearly that bad! But I do wish I weren’t quite so compelled to collect things (fortunately I come from a well to do family so I can afford it so I don’t suffer financially, but sometimes I suspect that may also be part of the problem as I don’t have the same limits on acquisition that others might have that might otherwise help to reign me in...I’m just so grateful that I have never been in any danger of becoming my grandfather...though I loved him dearly and he was like a second father to me...and I miss him dearly - junk and all! Truly, if he who dies with the most stuff wins then my grandfather beat every hoarding show I’ve ever seen in terms of shear volume of stuff by q very wise margin - the rest of us can just throw in the towel and stop competing!).

[@goldilox369]

@@ethanpoole3443 yeah, I feel you on that! I know they kind of categorize people who hoard in stages or levels. I think on the 1-5 scale I'm about 2.5 - 3? It took me forever to figure out that is what I was doing. I started going to therapy to address my grief over the loss of my best friend in a car accident & lingering childhood traumas. But I realized that the hoarding was definitely a reaction and a symptom to the larger problem: old trauma, fear of abandonment & displacement. I had to move so many times from 18-32 I never got to unpack my boxes anywhere. College, Issues with my mom, live-in relationships with guys, drinking; all contributed to this feeling that I was never going to find a place to call home. And when I did get into a stable living situation, I would collect so much extra stuff just so nobody could take it away from me. Plus, it served the dual purpose of pissing off my clean freak Mom.

[@borealis.in.georgia]

My grandmother became a serious hoarder after my uncle passed of cancer as a child. Before that, my mom described her as a “pearls on by breakfast, vacuum everyday, housewife”. After that, she hoarded. Spending time over there as a child was dealing with so many disgusting living situations and her compulsive buying. She never got help, but after she passed, we had to pick up the pieces. It took multiple huge dumpsters and every member of our family just to begin. After 4 years of the whole family chipping away, we’re just now getting to the end of it. As Ive grown up, I realize how sick she was and how tortured she must have been. It has even triggered compulsive CLEANING in me, as now I’m incredibly anxious in a messy place. The effects never end.

[@kimanez9391]

Yes. My sister and brother had the bulk of it as executors. Seven years and it is almost all gone. Not quite yet.

[@jhoughjr1]

I hope my mother passes before the family home does. It wont get any easier the longer it decays to clean up.

[@cellostrings2522]

So sorry you had to go through all of that.

[@evonne315]

♥️♥️♥️

[@vas4739]

I understood that possessions give the illusion of permanence. When one gets older they eventually realize the world they grew up in does not exist anymore. Perhaps possessions are a way of not letting go.

[@pocillocortado]

Your logic make a lot of sense to me.

[@ttephi3667]

Yes... I can relate.

[@vas4739]

@@ttephi3667 thank you. I have “old” stuff that have deep sentimental meaning for me which once I’m deceased I’m sure the items would be trashed -not even worthy of donating to Good Will. But to me these items are priceless.

[@tapercandles3838]

My family moved every 3 yrs..sometimes more. As children we had to give away/leave our toys. My younger sis started hoarding pretty quick after my dad retired. In time my older sis and brother also began hoarding. I think it was because they could finally keep things.. they didn't know how to gently/logically let things go. Somehow, I didn't acquire that behavior, though now and then I hesitate on tossing some item. I give myself time to logic it out.. a day..a month.. and then can release the item.

[@vas4739]

@@tapercandles3838 that must have been so awful to give up something they cared about. Sometimes a child sees nothing is permanent and just is not ready to move on. Being forced due to circumstances doesn’t work. Your mind is always dealing with what was & what could have been so never moving ahead blocking any progress or ability to see better things/opportunities ahead. It must be so painful… I’m sorry… What can be worse is if a child equates this loss with humans. That possibly people’s love is also temporary - without commitments or loyalty. That’s one powerful reason why hanging onto several things as they question which one would leave them first. Eventually they learn not to trust anyone because they all leave - as in abandonment.

[@jesusisGod1434]

This was so interesting. The underlying issue though, I believe is the broken love relationships. Husband, oldest daughter in this case. For my mom it was her divorce and out of her six children only one stayed with her and that child was angry about the clutter. I came back to my mom after many years of being a “victim” and recognizing my mom wasn’t at fault and I asked her forgiveness and then I got as many of the other kids to come back into her life as well, and we cleaned out the house! It took time but we did it. By the end of her life 4 out of the six returned and were by her side when she passed and her house stayed tidy.

[@dheider9109]

"We are the sum of our father's sins" No. We can evolve and learn and forgive and move on. Our parents are also just people...sometimes broken people ...who try to do their best. " There but for the grace of God go I" I'm not in any way religious, but I have learned to accept , empathise and try not to judge. You have done well. You have forgiven and helped. Possibly also learned insight into human pain and weakness. You are a good person , aware of fault, accepting of it.

[@marytygett4189]

What a beautiful witness 🌹🙏

[@jhoughjr1]

Yeah its never the hoarders fault. They always just got busy, are clearing out a path, gonna do something even if its wrong. decades later still the same.

[@helenshg4580]

You have a beautiful heart warming comment. I think (to a large degree) that a lot of parents have not had a clue about how to be a parent in the changing world. We expect them to be on top of the game, but sometimes it is really hard on them. It helps when we gain the right understanding..

[@helenshg4580]

You have a beautiful heart warming comment. I think (to a large degree) that a lot of parents have not had a clue about how to be a parent in the changing world. We expect them to be on top of the game, but sometimes it is really hard on them. It helps when we gain the right understanding..

[@danielgouge4639]

My parents were hoarders. My late Father had brain damage from falling from a 2 story building. He had a junk yard at our home when I was 5. He was up early each morning working all day til sundown scrapping metals and doing carpentry, hauling, yard work etc. It was hard for him to stay organized and that's where the excess stuff accumulated. His father lived through the Great Depression and hoarded and sold antiques. My mom was always afraid of being without when we moved out and on our own. She had trauma as a child but didn't entirely grow up poor. Her prior husband sold everything in the house for beer money. She had to hide money to always have. She is an ENTP inventer type so a lot of what she saved up was materials for sewing and crafts. Over the years as she has had time I have seen her quilts and projects finally come about. She had to move around a lot as a child too so it possibly did make her feel secure. I travelled on the road a lot and storing my things helped me feel like someday I would have a home. I have minimized a lot and it is freeing. Thank you for the video.

[@SoneBlink]

Thank you for sharing. Must have being difficult for you but you as a child.

[@Billybloop]

Your father sounds exactly like my husband. He's a handyman and an engineer and an incredibley productive, busy man but a big problem he has is that he doesn't know how to be clean or organize his life in any way. He accumulates things we don't really have the space for and won't throw anything away because he never gets round to organizing things. There is also an element of anxiety he has when it comes to getting rid of anything that could possibly be useful to him. I'm the complete opposite so living with him has been a serious challenge for me so I made him agree to keep everything outside the common areas. He doesn't recognize dirt and filth either. I am certain that if he didn't have someone in his life that was at least somewhat organized he would end up living in very poor conditions. I had to go away for something important once and I came back to find the house so bad it took me days to clean it. If I leave him with the kids for a break I have more work to do cleaning up than if I had just taken them. I don't know how he does it. He lived with his mother prior to marrying me who hoards somewhat but keeps common areas of her house relatively clean.

[@DianaHernandez-gv7fc]

@@Billybloop i am the same way as your husband. My mother always did everything for us. She is clean and organized and maybe a little on the hoarder side. I am a maintenance worker. I know some of everything. He depends on you for living decently.

[@Alphacentauri819]

@@Billybloop it sounds like he could have what used to be called Aspergers (on the autism spectrum). Much higher rate of hoarding among people with autism. Also, much higher rate of autism among engineers. They can be brilliant in some ways, but in other ways completely incapable. My ex has Aspergers (wasn’t diagnosed until his 40’s) and is a very bright physician. However, has an issue with chronic disorganization. As I find out more and more, I’ve come to realize, executive function deficits are an issue in Aspergers and hoarding. Executive functions are varied and contribute to planning, organization, decision making, and more. All important in keeping things orderly.

[@Billybloop]

@@Alphacentauri819 yes me and my husband both have Aspergers.

[@susanmann5286]

You don't often hear of one mental health worker with this entire skill set, and even less often, such ability to work as smart team. I want to give these folks an award!

[@karenking5357]

I don't know which one of the Discovery channels it is but you know similar to like a home and garden type show but they had this hoarding I think it's arts and entertainment and I watched it several times and it actually is heartbreaking and also makes me angry I was married to a hoarder for only 7 months because I learned he was a compulsive liar along with being and compulsive kleptomaniac no I blame myself cuz I didn't date him long enough and when I saw his house I knew I could tell he had issues I can't blame anyone else for that but I'm a neat freak so I figured I could just zip right through all that and clean it all up get my son in a bedroom all cleaned up I have furniture nice furniture get it all cleaned up I can move in I do know his wife committed suicide and I believe it was in their bedroom but I never asked that question I should say his late wife but after really got to know my step daughter I realized he had this issue forever and he wanted to blame it on some supposed accident at work which he did you know win his disability case and all that and but because I didn't even understand hoarding at all and I was raised to be a neat freak that was just the opposite of each other but when I mean it was hard I clean things up when he wasn't around which drove him crazy I actually got depressed real quick because he wouldn't let me finish cleaning like I really wanted to do it all those things I mean after what I realized he was stealing these things and hiding them anytime I said I wanted something I would have it he would find a way to get it for me now we weren't broke so I just assumed that he was paying for things until I begin to ask for receipts when my son got two baseball gloves for Christmas and you put them up in the closet without even a sack the tags were on them but there was no athletic store or anything sporting goods store you know where he might have bought them and I asked them for the receipt I said you can't buy those those are too expensive not two of them one maybe my son was very good at baseball and so I wanted him to have the best of the stuff but I didn't want him to be spoiled anyway it's heck living with that kind of a person he didn't recognize at all that this was an issue and I can't believe I couldn't see it but I was actually very sick with migraines and I it was in the back of my mind I didn't mean to use anybody but I knew I was fixing to not be able to work and I had a young son to raise and I figured I would work as long as I could but you know this guy had some money I could tell supposedly I'm not saying he was broke he wasn't broke but I don't want to go into the whole story but I quickly began to figure things out after we were married unfortunately but that was that was my deal I take total responsibility for my actions and I am totally sorry to my son and my family for marrying this guy but I will tell you he was the kind of sweetest most gentle person and took care of me being sick he took care of me like a mom text everyone so I'd call him mom I said you had more like a mom and her husband that was a joke but he was very caring and he was very caring to my son just wanted him to do well sports whatever he wanted to do he wanted to do well in school and helped his grades to improve but when I wasn't home when I was working cuz I did try to work like I worked in dentistry and I was able to do like temporary work instead of a permanent job in the area where I work always somebody needed to go and wanted to go on vacation needed somebody to replace them just for a week or so I was constantly offered jobs so I loved what I did but I just couldn't do it permanently for someone it just wasn't fair anymore and so when I would be gone to work my point he would do things to my son that I never learned about until 3 years after the divorce and I'm pretty sure he or his daughter tried to use my social security card to my house I mean number my information to buy a house and it was crazy but I've tried to find it I can't find any research but they were trying to buy it so I'm sure they were found out anyway and his daughter I didn't think wanted to live that way cuz she came and talked to her dad and only hinted at it cuz he wouldn't let me leave the room cuz he knew what she was going to say she was pregnant and didn't want her son to be raised the same way she was only she was a productive young lady was a very good tennis player yesterday's School I mean she's just awesome young lady but I didn't get to know her until a little bit more into the marriage I didn't take time to I was so sick myself I just I had no more strength to take care of anybody or get involved with anybody it's crazy I was the one that was mentally sick at this point I was in my mid-40s I've been divorced now from him almost 25 years never remarried I'm very happy where I am because I realized I was making some bad decisions when it came to med so that's another story of its own but this guy was such a kleptomaniac and he did it so smoothly once I learned what he was doing and where he was hiding this things and how easy it was for him to hide these things among all the other things that I was trying to clean out that's why those people live alone is because if you're anywhere just a halfway decent housekeeper you can't handle that and they don't see their problem and their issues and so you can't fix anything there's nothing to be fixed unless I guess you get professional help but at this time I didn't understand the situation either so that's my story I hope it helps her whatever

[@LPetal86]

This was very satisfying to hear. I was impressed how "Tracy" was helped, all around. Hoarding is one of the saddest disorders I've ever heard of, especially when you consider that people hoard to have a sense of security, or because they are afraid to let go of strong emotions that develop around items. Traumatic relationships are horrid and abusers are absolutely despicable people. The fact that people can become numb to surrounding themselves with literal walls of things that could collapse on them at any time is an insight to how insidious emotional and mental abuse is.

[@theweirdsider]

👍

[@ethorii]

I'm sure many hoarders have no significant abuse history. It can be unregulated emotional need, or it can be from brain damage. A study a while ago found that people who had specific brain damage during motorcycle accidents that started them hoarding.

[@jomansson5742]

There are many different causes.

[@daisy7066]

@@ethorii or the trauma from the accident.....

[@ethanpoole3443]

While the abuse is despicable, I am very reluctant to label all abusers as despicable as so much of it is driven by the cycle of abuse throughout generations. So many abusers become abusers because they were themselves abused as children. For that reason, even as a childhood abuse survivor myself, I try to show compassion for the person even as I despise their behavior and the harm that behavior causes.

[@MamaMac_]

My Father was a hoarder. I believe it was “managed” by my Mother before she got sick, as there are family pictures of our home and there was nothing beyond the normal little kid messes apparent. My Mom had surgery for brain cancer when I was six, my sister was 9, and my brother was 2. She was never the same, and was constantly sick, having seizures etc. until she died when I was 21. She spent the last three years of her life in a nursing home. So from the time I was six years and on, my father’s hoarding spiraled out of control. I NEVER had friends over during jr. high/ high school. I was constantly cleaning and organizing, and my Dad would actually be angry, and take the papers I had filed back out of the filing cabinet and spread them back all over the kitchen table, or root through the garbage and retrieve whatever I had thrown out. It was incredibly frustrating. As I got a bit older, I decided that instead of just being angry at my Dad, I wanted to find the nexus of his hoarding compulsion. I started asking him about his childhood, and found out some heartbreaking things. My Dad’s Dad had gone to war (WWII), and when he came back, he and my Grandmother divorced; which was not particularly common at that time. So my Dad never saw his Dad. When he was six, my Grandma met a new man; who didn’t like kids. So she packed up my Dad, dropped him off at my Grandpa’s house, and moved to a different city with her new boyfriend, soon to be husband. My Grandpa was an abusive alcoholic, who spent almost all his time at the legion. There was never any food in the house. So at six years old, my Dad got a job delivering groceries. He got paid in food. I think the double trauma of being abandoned by his mother, and abused and neglected by his father; created within him a sense of panic and loss of control that manifested itself in later years as his hoarding. I think it gave him a momentary release from the constant panic he felt, when he could shop for carts full of groceries, knowing he’d never have empty cupboards. The piles and piles of years worth of newspapers and magazines, that he always had the intention to read, so in his mind, couldn’t possibly part with. He loved to make elaborate plans, but never wanted to actually act or make a decision, and so his whole life consisted of decisions being made by default. He would sit and plan how he was going to re-landscape his yard, how he was going to redecorate his house, and yet, he had a broken shower in his only full bathroom for 20 years. If a lightbulb burned out, there would just be no light in that room for a few years. The simple version of a much more complicated end, was when my husband and I found out he was heating his house using his stove. His furnace had broken, and he didn’t want to let someone in the house to fix it. My husband put his foot down, made him pack a bag, and moved him in with us for six months while we renovated and cleaned out his house. He had a very fast progressing form of Parkinson’s, and ended up in a home, and dying within two years of that. Growing up in that situation definitely left me with complex emotions to process, but I’m glad I had a better understanding of what was at the root of his issues.

[@renatawarec]

Wow,for sure all that would make you insane. Poor guy.

[@opalfishsparklequasar8663]

You are a wonderful person. 💐💖🌸💎🦋

[@sundoesshine8800]

What a wonderful husband. Your Dad's "planning" abilities seem quite similar to my moms. It triggers so much stress in me, to hear her go on about needing to redecorate the mantle for whatever holiday, when there is literally no place for any visitor (that might see it-) to even sit and the whole house is one big trip risk with all the piles. I'm realizing there seems to be a loss of the ability to make proper decisions about the value of their time and importance of tasks (say replacing a lighbulb). But like someone else mentioned, they have the right make bad decisions, so when do you (forcefully) intervene.

[@RaferJeffersonIII]

Wow, my dad is almost 70 and has kept all of his dead relatives possessions (near enough). The front room has a few thing and just piles of junk, but it’s nothing like that, the floor is fine . I guess this thing is a spectrum.

[@Dulcimertunes]

Your husband is a kind man

[@teambeining]

I know a “recovered” hoarder - he no long hoards, but still struggles with attachment to “stuff.” It’s one of those things that never goes away.

[@BeckBeckGo]

I get this, in a weird way. I have sort of anti-hoarding. I have trouble keeping things. I have trouble laying down roots. I even prefer being hungry over being full. I have no idea if these things are related to the same mechanics behind hoarding, but I'm always so fascinated by hoarders, because they're kind of me, just turned inside out. But the nonsense reasoning they use to justify keeping stuff sounds a bit like the nonsense reasoning I use to justify purging everything (and purging is a bullshit word. I don't accumulate much, so my "purges" are running on empty) It's very strange, and I get this vague sense they're related. But per your comment, no. It doesn't go away. When I had my daughter, I got help for it. I didn't want to one day find myself throwing her things away. They're not mine to toss. They're her things. And I'm proud to say that, despite becoming obsessed with making sure everything had its place, I have never, ever purged her stuff without her permission. But still.. I police that urge a lot to protect her from it. It hasn't gone anywhere.

[@angelahamon6730]

I learned the construct of "transitional objects" . It isn't always the issue but he might find it helpful. The attatchment might be to a person, especially if they passed away, and not the stuff itself.

[@Alphacentauri819]

@@BeckBeckGo have you looked into your attachment style? Many times our childhood wounds, subconscious programming, lay the groundwork for some deeply entrenched beliefs, which fuel the narratives that we operate from. Unless we do the deep work, we never connect the dots on a root level. Sometimes we have to examine where our inter dialogue comes from. Is it really our thoughts, or an autopilot parent voice...or? What have we taken on as our own, without deeply dissecting and analyzing if we even want to carry that “voice” anymore. Props to you, for being respectful and conscientious of your child and not letting your need to get rid of things over take. The Personal Development School KZbin channel is incredible for attachment trauma work. I am healing my fearful avoidant attachment style. It is the single most empowering thing I’ve done for myself. The way I’ve lived, due to thinking due to attachment trauma etc, light bulbs going on left and right. I understand myself in a deeper way and the best thing is I love and accept myself more than I thought possible. So much healing. Anyways, thought attachment theory might help guide you. Blessings 💫

[@Waywardwindfall]

My adhd makes me anthropomorphize everything. So letting go of things is a huge emotional drain on me. I personally throw Stuff in a “room box” and then I forget what in there and can eventually set it out to take to goodwill eventually. I have a box of crafting supplies that I have dug one thing out of and can’t remember what else is in it. 🤨 this reminded me that I think I’m ready for it to go.

[@exceptionaltalentspc4954]

I know a few hoarders and I saw a lot of them when I worked in social services making home visits. As a result I am self-conscious about keeping my place free of clutter. I have trained myself not to get attached to people, places or things.

[@trendkiller6611]

I had a hoarding tendencies from about the age of ten. I moved into a place on my own when I was 26, and I can confirm that living alone made the problem about ten times worse. I was surrounded by clutter. It took many years to resolve, because most therapists have no idea how to treat this. My place is still a bit messy, but I no longer have trouble throwing things out. I solved the problem on my own.

[@loriolson3191]

If you are raised by a hoarder or hoarders your childhood is very traumatic and it leaves you scarred for life. I realize now it was a form of child abuse as our home was so messy and unsafe and we were neglected and the money was spent on unneeded items instead of things the children needed to be fed, clothed, get medical care or an education etc. Social services did get called but hoarders are given too much special treatment. We need to recognize that if children or animals are in the home hoarders are hurting the other people in that environment! We were not poor but our family home life was one of filth, neglect, secrecy and lack of basic care due to what is now classified as our parents mental illness and it is harmful to children.

[@sn8323]

Well said. I am sorry you endured that abuse. You are helping others by speaking out and sharing. Respect.

[@erynlasgalen1949]

I grew up in a household of chronic disorganization rather than a full class five hoard. There was trauma in that three of my siblings had died of a genetic condition as infants and my mother did not handle it well, if such a thing CAN bs handled well. My father was self-employed, a free-lance architect, and the family would go without income for months until a job was complete and paid off. Then it was feast until the famine set in again. I learned to hang onto things for fear that if they were thrown away they would be impossible to replace when needed. In their elderly years my parents became what I would call hoarders, and I have cleaned up more hoards than any one person should have to, sorting the valuables from the true junk. It turned me into what I consider to be a recovering hoarder. I am afraid to put a single object on a surface because it will attract other objects and the surface disappears. But at the same time I have and still use tools that belonged to my house-carpenter great-grandfather. They still work as well as they did over a century ago.

[@ethanpoole3443]

In fairness it depends upon the nature and extent of the hoarding. I am a moderate hoarder, but you will not find filth or trash in my stuff and my piles are never going to fall over and hurt anyone (they are seldom more than 12” high, occasionally 24” if two boxes high) and, even at their narrowest, my paths are usually 3+ feet wide and only confined to my basement area and my bedroom. Hoarding, like many issues, falls on a continuum in terms of severity so one can’t really paint all of us with the same broad brush as the worst of us. Although I have no children (I struggle with C-PTSD and would likely meet the requirements for AvPD due to severe abuse in my childhood), if I had ever met a safe and healthy partner to have children with then they would have been well provided for and odds are I’d probably have been much less of a hoarder while they were being raised since my time and energy would have been largely consumed with and directed towards taking care of them as they would always have been my first priority, though fatherhood is an experience that I will never know as I’m much too old and have too many chronic health issues (courtesy of my past abuse) to be a father at age 48+, not to mention the apparent need for a female partner (unlikely given it has been more than 25 years since I was last with anyone in order to escape the further abuse that comes when we seek out relationships, though it is an exceedingly lonely life).

[@BeingBetter]

Interesting. I was raised by hoarders too, and my father was self employed.

[@SoneBlink]

I'm sorry for what happen to you. Children's and animals are innocents and need to be taken good care in a clean healthy environment physically and emotionally. You are so right when you say that Hoarders have to much special treatment. When a child or animal are victims of such a toxic conduct something must be done immediately.

[@abrvalg321]

3:36 is it possible to dedicate a full video to procrastination?

[@MichelMawon4982]

@Brexit Refugee lol

[@hollybauer739]

Yes!!! 🙏

[@lorijohnson2053]

Yes, but he’ll have to do it later lol 🤪

[@jotunnhime]

Gasp .... I'll watch that later definitely I dunno when hes uploading it but I'll probably be .... busy

[@avalonvalley2722]

And "Mental Energy" procrastination associated with ADHD.. oh man i could spend hours cleaning the whole house rather than do anything requiring concentration!

[@user-kf6et6jd1b]

YOUR INSIGHT HELPS US BE KIND TO EVERYONE BECAUSE EVERYONE IS FIGHTING SOME SORT OF BATTLE

[@albertdewulf7688]

I really appreciate this style of content that goes almost immediately straight to the point, no background music, no nonsense, just knowledge to pass the time.

[@theweirdsider]

This gentleman just put me at ease about a horrible problem affecting myself and my family...lol. Very soothing voice, 10\10.

[@t5396]

You're sweet

[@ethanpoole3443]

Just know that you and your family are in very good company. I’m a moderate hoarder myself. But my grandfather (I miss him dearly) beat every hoarding show I’ve ever seen hands down by a wide margin....I’m afraid to know how many thousands of square feet of floor space he had in our two large barns and his three large warehouses piled a good 6+ feet high, often with little to no space for a path! My cousin and I had to move all that stuff for him over a single summer in our teens! On the positive side, my cousin and I got to spend quite a lot of time with our grandfather that summer...LOL (he was like a second father to both of us)!

[@thehoneyeffect]

Is it wrong to say he sounds sexy? V soothing voice

[@karieanne25]

I noticed that when my very busy family was leaving home for college and beyond, and my husband was traveling much more for his work, I would pull out lots of things to do an ‘organizing’ project. I would haul out tons of things from storage, even piling it on the bed. I would crawl into the bed at night, making a little space beside all the stuff, to sleep. After 5 days, when everyone would be returning home, I would pile it all back into storage. It dawned on me that i seemed to be trying to fill the empty spaces around me.

[@comfortouch]

I found that my space was filling up with 'stuff' after getting badly injured for a second time. The 'Hoarders' TV show is what made me acutely aware of my cluttered (and dirty) surroundings. I always made sure the trash and cat litter got taken out, but somehow my space was filling up with other 'stuff' and dust was accumulating. I ended up asking myself a question that was asked on the show "How is this _thing_ serving you?" and if the answer was 'it's not' or 'I haven't used it in ___years' then it gets trashed or donated. I also implemented the rule, that if something new comes in, something old must leave.

[@suegilmartin3709]

Good for you!! Hoarding is a serious situation and not easily overcome and you've realized it in your own life. And you're taking steps to overcome it. So, again, I say good for you!! Pat yourself on the back!! Keep up the good work.

[@AngelinaX23]

It's very difficult to deal with when we become injured or ill. I have chronic pain and standing for longer than a few minutes is very distressing. I was never a neat freak, but I managed to keep my house clean and tidy. Now I am becoming overwhelmed with the dust and clutter. My husband doesn't help and even adds to the mess.

[@traciehigginsChaCha]

I enjoy the case studies more than anything 🙂

[@BellaBelleBella]

I wish I was one!

[@davidsonmg]

Same here....very educational!

[@lisacurtis8162]

I know and he doesn't do them in a super scary way. Some are scary enough.

[@BeckBeckGo]

Me too. They're abstract. I don't have to hear about people getting abused or killed.

[@godsrobot9624]

Definitely!

[@rebeccarayburncooper7062]

Poverty in childhood often plays a role, too. Emotional abuse from parents as well. The feeling is 'Well, I can't have my parents' love and affection but I can have a lot of nice clothes and look good all the time'. Doesn't make up for parental approval or love but it allows one to get it from non-family members.

[@moonlightstar7786]

I get where you are coming from. I was emotionally abused by both parents. I was never good enough and my mom picked at my appearance all the time. Starting in high school I had a job and spent all my money on clothes, thinking if I had the perfect outfit that people might not see my other “flaws”. To this day I hoard clothes. My mom always says that all she wants for her birthday/Xmas is for me to clean up my house. I always get her a gift instead. Maybe I am doing that to control the one thing she wants from me. Or maybe I know that as soon as I clean it all up she will just find something else I need to change for her to be happy with me. My whole life I’ve never made her happy or heard the words I Love You.

[@jhoughjr1]

idk sometimes hoarders are just messed up materialistic narcissist and lazy greedy gamblers.

[@dancingnature]

My mom used to abuse me through my possessions . They weren’t safe especially if it was something I cared deeply about . My artwork wasn’t safe , clothing, Knick knacks , my plants and even my oldest child. She’d torment him emotionally. That made me realize that I wasn’t the problem when I saw my oldest collapse emotionally under the onslaught of her emotional abuse he was 10. Being raised by a narcissist is hell. I’ve got an issue with piling up stuff now probably because I could . Usually over things I enjoyed as a child and still do and which she’d abuse me over so it’s hard to get rid of them .

[@debrablack391]

yes, my mother was a "Depression " baby in the 20s and 30s. l understood why she hoarded everything

[@mamabeartrue420]

​@@moonlightstar7786I bet you're single.

[@divinesignatures6225]

I had to watch the video twice since I got distracted reading the comment section. I appreciate everything people shared and can see how important it is for them to tell their stories. When my youngest brother left home for college, my mom started collecting dolls. She worked as a house cleaner and spent her hard earned money shopping. She bought a lot of jewelry from the home shopping network, and hundreds of dolls. Then, she got into buying rubber stamps. She was an organized, even perfectionist, and impeccably clean hoarder. She has multiples of things that she doesn’t use and won’t let anyone else user either. When she got engaged, she sold her house, moved in with her new husband at his house and used the proceeds from the sale of her house to build a garage at the new property. What is the garage for? The dolls. I left home when I was 15 and lived with my Grandma. My mother didn’t provide a single thing for me after that. I was completely on my own financially. It occurs to me now, that had I had a mother with different priorities, I could have had more normal teenaged years instead of being the girl who always had to go without. Maybe that is a part of the struggle the children of hoarders go through as well, that they don’t have their financial needs met because instead of supporting them, the parent is buying unnecessary stuff.

[@toneiting]

One of the hoarders I worked with had a large collection of food supplies way beyond the selling date. In order to convince her to get rid of them I suggested the “back to nature” approach. I dug a deep hole in her garden and filled it up with “content”. To this day I still have nightmares where I revisit the primordial ooze I created and the thought that Covid-19 started right there. May God forgive me.

[@Yvonnexoxo]

SAY WHAT?!!!!!😳🤢🤢🤢

[@jeanettewaverly2590]

tonnie eiting A couple of years ago, we had a problem with food hoarders in one of my rental condos’ buildings. By the time they were finally evicted, every unit was infested with cockroaches and had to be fumigated. (It cost me $1200.) It was a nightmare!

[@my1creation]

tonnie eiting As it was food, my first thought is that it was “biodegradable” thus turned to compost which means you did a good thing... perhaps an ingenious thing. I don’t know the science behind it; but either way, spiritually and psychologically, please forgive yourself 😉😀

[@frankenz66]

It is called in-garden composting, that makes a garden more usuable, and more nutrients available. 😂😁 Funny story though.

[@theodorostsilikis4025]

hahaha.

[@rdpcl]

My paternal grandfather has been an "organized" hoarder most of his life. His house is full of stacked boxes of old books, clothes, really old medicines (those in little tin boxes), "antiques", and also multiple household items brand new in their boxes that were bought "just in case". The last 15 years he deteriorated because he started going around the neighborhood and picking items from the trash. I don't know why he is like this, because he doesn't believe in mental health and won't allow an intervention. My father is also an organized hoarder, but to a smaller extent. He claims that he always has "the right thing stored", but I really didn't understand what was the use of saving oxidized, bent nails and screws? My grandfather also has jars full of useless nails and bolts. One time I decided to toss one of my father's jars to the trash and his reaction was closer to an actual heart attack rather than regular anger, so I never tossed something again without telling him first. It doesn't help that my mother is a disorganized hoarder. She still keeps bags filled with her purse's content from 20+ years ago: old receipts, loose change, chewing gum, makeup. She refuses to discard them claiming "they're not all trash", but at the same time she won't sit down and sort her crap. As a result, I became a bit of a hoarder as soon as I had some pocket money. I mostly buy clothes and accessories that I like or find "too cheap to be true" even though I know they don't fit or I'll never wear. Fortunately, years ago I realized that it was damaging and now "purge" (donate) from time to time to keep things under control. Each time I buy less and purge more.

[@jeannichols2459]

i've been an animal hoarder on and off most of my life. thinking about myself i think it stems from traumatic incidents regarding beloved pets in my childhood. pets that gave me such unconditional love and helped me survive neglect. perhaps connected to PTSD.

[@katiekane5247]

They were the only living things we could trust. I hear you sister!

[@kerrypickens8594]

I volunteered for a cat rescue group and have been involved in several hoarding situations. One case the couple had more than 100 cats in their home. Their home was in an area that had been hit by a hurricane and then their neighborhood flooded several times. They believed they were saving cats despite the fact the cats were in very poor health and not socialized. The mental outlook is they have a special relationship with these animals that noone else can provide. It's hard for animal advocates to understand their dissociative behavior.

[@nmartin5551]

Animal hoarders have a front belief that they are helping the animals. Sadly, if you see the animals once they are de-hoarded, the hoarder actually huts the animals (not the intent) by their living conditions. I love animals too, but if i know you are a true animal hoarder, I’d drop the dime on you in a heart beat. Animals deserve better living in hoarder conditions. So do you, by the way.

[@cutekoala]

They live alone as it's often physically or emotionally impossible for anyone else to live there. I've read that it's often triggered by bereavement or loss and a consequent defence against intimacy.

[@michellefarris3961]

They certainly alienate everyone.

[@katypratt]

Absolutely is. When someone has borne such a loss, they can’t bear to part with anything ever again. Happened in my family.

[@deborahleskowsky8913]

@@katypratt thank-you from the bottom of my 💚

[@chrisbowers7661]

The two hoarders I know had two similar characteristics: they couldn't make a decision to save their lives. And they were suffering from a loss/disappointment that they couldn't reconcile with.

[@genxx2724]

@@chrisbowers7661 I think a lot of people find clutter comforting. It’s the visceral feeling of being safe in a cave with plenty.

[@heathercarter7987]

Case workers were ahead of their time! Their strategies were compassionate. The three levels of insight are interesting and helpful. Great discussion.

[@55shocked55]

I worked in health care for 20 years. Both Home health and in home hospice (wasn't a hospice house). I've taken care of many people with hoarding disorder. It's a very bizarre situation to be in. Especially from a health care provider view. These people will small path ways to their needed destination bathroom and kitchen 4 of the 5 that stick out in my mind slept in a chair bc their bedrooms were full. No matter the safety hazards they would not budge. Until someone gets hurt you can't actually intervene. You're not in there to tell people how to live, you're in there to make their life better and throwing their shit away causes distress so you're not making their life better. It was frustrating for me. The smell, the bugs, the attachment to random crap. Its really one of the strangest things I've encountered. I had one lady who I took care of for 4 years it took a year for her to trust me that I wasn't going to throw stuff away. I mean anything empty shampoo bottles it might have a later use. It's very wild to work with these ppl. Throwing away trash literally trash brings them the kind of anxiety that most other ppl would feel throwing away a baby book.

[@lilpoohbear653]

similar to my momma...she grew up very poor in the depression of the 40's. She also, was abused by her father and never truly had a childhood becasue she had to work in the fields picking cotton, fruit or whatever...very hard work fo a young child. She sees everything has a value...she hoards junk mail because paper has value (in her mind)...also she feels bad someone paid postage to send it to her...she feels obligated to keep it. Strange I know, but I am learning to just accept it. (Yes, we have cleaned up her place quite a bit because of an extreme mouse infestation and put n new flooring...however, she stills keeps 1000 old butter tubs, tons of canned goods and on n on. We just want her to be safe and we do what we can. Love my momma

[@levi1929]

These therapists did an amazing job to take care and to show compassion with this lady. At every step I felt like they went above and beyond their call of duty.

[@meredithmackenzie7856]

My aunt is a hoarder. This was a great video. What you know and I hope others will realize is that Tracey wanted help. If your loved one doesn’t want help there isn’t much you can do about it.

[@anavigil7603]

Like addictions.

[@barbarachipman9436]

from what i observed a trauma usually precedes this disorder

[@erin9868]

I haven't seen any case where there isn't a traumatizing event (or history of trauma) that precedes the behaviour, but it's interesting how varied the types of trauma are. Like, everything from severe childhood neglect to messy a divorce to a death in the family (even one that is "expected", like an elderly parent). It seems like most people suffer from feelings of insecurity and an intense fear that they *might* one day need something but will have thrown it out. Then that feeling gets extended to literal garbage - moldy newspapers and animal feces and rotting food all get kept because... reasons. This anxious background feeling that nothing can be thrown out.

[@louise-yo7kz]

Exactly

[@TikkaHorse]

I could be the poster child for hoarding disorder with the acquisition addition (mostly controlled, but causes a lot of stress), but I don't think it's from trauma as I can't think of anything that would have triggered it. I think mine is a fear-of-missing-out thing. I panic when I see a limited edition item that I like (don't need, have many similar, etc) and I will buy it because the cost and additional clutter is worth not missing out on it, the whole "there will never be another like it" or "I need enough for a lifetime because no other of ___ will be good enough".

[@ifullyunderstandwhatyoureg3298]

I can't think of a traumatic event in my life, I'm not depressed. I dont know why I'm a hoarder.

[@lindanicola]

With my mother, there was an emotional and memorable attachment to items; she even had stories to tell about things and what was happening when they were bought.

[@pinkgorilla99]

I love Dr Grande’s videos so much I’m trying to go back and watch them all. This one particularly helped me. I feel I’m close to crossing over from cluttered to hoarding. I agree with his analysis in that I have had major depression and indecisiveness and some OCD. These case studies and Dr Grande’s clear, calm explanations really hit home and are a great help to me. Thank you for these videos.

[@jhoughjr1]

AS my mother is a hoarder I have the tendency as well. I had to intentionally downsize my things. Realizing things are just as worthless as people helps.

[@sundoesshine8800]

Long term resistant depression indecisiveness here as well.

[@astrageekette9692]

Your calm demeanor presenting these difficult topics is very reassuring, Dr Grande. But every once in awhile you let another emotion come through on your face and I find that especially reassuring, that you are one of us. Thank you for these videos.

[@dinahkruppa913]

This really makes me thankful my Mom was neat and organized. I was proud to brings friends home. I feel for kids or anyone dealing with a hoarder.

[@tgoodson2]

I am retired and live with another old bachelor who is also a hoarder. For my part I am a minimalist I throw everything away and prefer to live in small quarters with just the basics. I can tell you that one of the reasons why hoarders live alone is because no one else wants to live with them. However I am able to do so because all I need is one small room. And actual fact I spend most of my time in my minivan which I have set up to live in. The small room provides me with an address and a place to leave the few valuable things I might have.

[@OJNS]

You are full of yourself I wish you’ll get minimalist funerals Your idiotic comments are Absolutely inappropriate

[@darlenelawson1255]

This was very interesting. I have watched several episodes on hoarding and people demonstrating how difficult it is to persuade the person that most of the stuff is junk or dangerous. I used to go through my stuff once a year and throw out things, some I should have kept. My husband's garage was always full of junk and we could never park our car. I think when you grew up with nothing you want to keep everything. We moved a lot and that's when I could get rid of a lot of stuff. People who stay in one house for many many years tend to hoard. I do know when I am depressed, I don't want to get rid of stuff but when I'm anxious, I want to throw everything out. I do believe OCD sometimes prevents people from realizing their dilemma. This is so fascinating and your soft and calm voice is lovely to hear. I know you could help those people. Thank-you Dr. Todd. Sometimes I have no one to talk to 😊❤️🇨🇦❤️

[@wherethereslifethereshope9858]

Thank you Todd. My mother never threw out anything. She was born in 1920 and went through The Great Depression. However thankfully she never had things blocking access to rooms, etc. It was only when I had the daunting task of emptying my childhood home did I realise the extent of her hoarding. I was amazed at how much she had neatly stored in cupboards. Consequently clutter makes me really uncomfortable and I've taken the opposite approach...minimalism.

[@abidinginchrist3139]

I imagine your mother had skills. She could probably make wonderful meals for a family of 7 for a 1.50 with leftovers!

[@Ninopastime]

Thank you!! For people with mild problems this period should be a good time to clean up the clutter

[@fouresterofthetrees287]

Those counselors went far above and beyond. I am glad their hard work was successful, and Tracy was able to get past the disorder and move on with her life.

[@margmckay3257]

A problem that I now understand. I know someone who has some of these habits And I am now able to approach the person with a better understanding. Thank you so much for your sensitive discussion

[@darklausal23]

I have hoarding tendencies, I used to observe my mom getting ready for work applying makeup and perfume, I was facinated by this, I was not allowed to touch any of her items, so I told my self "when I grow up I will buy everything I want", with the years we moved to a different country and I had to get rid of everything I owned except what I could fit in a suitcase, I know it comes from my sense of great loss through my life.

[@missnellaful]

I admire you for your young fascination with beauty. It must have been a confusing experience to leave your possessions, yet for a young lady, to be curious about her future could be a very serious and exciting place to begin. I hope you are doing well, and are able to share this with young girls who may not understand the globe has so much now to share and offer. Your story is touching and beneficial, share it. Peace to you in 2022! Thank you.

[@ladymopar2024]

My sister is a hoarder she caught it from my mom and my grandmother who both lived through the the depression so they would hold on to everything scared that they might lose it one day. You are correct and that you just can't go in there start throwing things away. My sister would give you the shirt off her back, she is in therapy right now that helped her cope with this. I love the idea of taking pictures of things and putting them in a scrapbook I never even thought of this when dealing with my sister. Thank you for this video and you have some really great insight and some great suggestions thank you

[@stevepowsinger733]

lady mopar “caught” it from her like it was a virus? Comparisons of mental disorders to physical ones is maybe, maybe not helpful. I believe many children raised by hoarders do not “catch” it. Anyway, a statistical survey of hoarding would be interesting (do they have personality quirks in common?) and Dr. G hints that most are: older, female, alone.

[@ladymopar2024]

@@stevepowsinger733 I did use the incorrect words. Thanks, all three of them were very close in mannerisms

[@jmdenison]

If her place is dirty and dangerous. You could always get her guardianized get a court order to move or out for a week and then clean the place out and then she can return and make sure that there's also court order for weekly cleaning lady. I'm not sure this is a therapeutic issue more than illegal in family issue. But I wish you well and make sure that no one is elderly and living and dirty dangerous conditions because there are court remedies for that

[@katypratt]

@@ladymopar2024 “catching it,”made my afternoon!” I thought it was a sweet sentiment.

[@holyishe7903]

When you said “catch it” I laughed bc I know exactly what you mean

[@dcjak1]

I appreciate your nonjudgemental attitude Dr Grande. Thank you

[@ybrueckner5589]

I want to thank you for this kind compassionate presentation I’m so hoping this goes viral and people sit down with their family members to show them access to a professional who is nonjudgmental and compassionate. Your generosity in producing this video is extremely huge in this day and age of limited access for many people, since we all know that even people who do have access and means to consult somebody are burdened by the stigma of it. Hiding away in shame I was also very impressed by your presentation on compassionate approach to every behavior disorder. When I was a medical student, it troubled me greatly that once an inpatient in a psych ward was labeled borderline it seemed the whole team took permission to disrespect the patient. And that behavior isn’t so secret. As we all know body language is very telling. Without a word a health care professional conveys this disrespect. I’ve seen it myself

[@susanjerrell9220]

Isn't it nice to hear that someone came out on the good end? Makes me happy. 😁

[@resop3]

Hoarding can be very dangerous as evidenced by one of the early cases of hoarding, the Collyer Brothers of NYC. One of the brothers died in 1947 when a tunnel he was using to navigate through the trash collapsed, and the other who was frail and dependent on his brother died several days later of starvation. Their clutter and junk filled a four story brownstone house and the junk weighed an estimated 280,000 pounds (140 tons.)

[@louise-yo7kz]

😳

[@margomazzeo1680]

Saw a video on them..it was unreal!!😳😳

[@peggypeggy4137]

Obsolete Oddity did an amazing documentary on these brothers.

[@bebe553]

A year in, I thank you so much for this video. I refer to myself as a clutter bug but my daughter says I am a hoarder, I always have a "junk room" in my house. My hoarding is the result of childhood traumas; I recognize that and am making significant strides in decluttering. Decluttering has an extreme negative effect as having "all that stuff" is ALWAYS in the back of your mind.

[@kimdinnel1110]

I am so grateful you put this information out today. I realize I have this disorder to an uncomfortable degree. Not ready for prime time, but I have wondered for many many months what was causing my constant fatigue. I have been on antidepressants and anxiety meds for years. Lived alone mostly after daughter was grown. I am 65 and again I have thought that it never used to be this way. So now I have a boyfriend for 2 years with the disorder similar to mine. His deceased wife was an extreme buyer of most anything. A lot of things are now at my place. Of course there are a couple storages. Actually two before her passing plus he has one now. They were together 48 years. A lot of stuff to hold on to over the years for them. I am talking with my psychiatrist soon I will discuss this as I never really have. Thanks for letting me express my feelings here. I know it can be taken care of with the right help and support 😊

[@ItsBekahh]

Thank you for sharing this case study Dr. Grande! One of my close family members is a retired teacher and has amassed a very large collection of workbooks, materials, supplies, etc from their years working as an educator. These materials take up about 85% of our garage and almost the entirety of the small office space available in our home. This collection has caused dysfunction and disagreement between my family for many years, but especially now as it no longer serves a purpose. Hearing the tactics that Tracy’s team used to help her is beneficial because it shows a successful scenario that I can possibly use as a model (with the permission of my family member of course!). I appreciated how they maintained Tracy’s sense of agency and were very sensitive of her emotions and feelings. Best wishes to you, I really appreciate the content you create here on KZbin!

[@richarddixon7855]

So true! Certain subjects required having innumerable choices of supplies and/or resources available, especially if teaching disadvantaged populations who wouldn't have had access to varied life experiences outside the classroom. Add to that having to purchase supplies using your own money - and it can easily become a recipe for disaster, hoarding-wise. In retirement, I have now been able to reach out to friends, etc. who know young people who might enjoy items. That is satisfying. Tossing it all would be too sad, especially since, in many cases,, the school supplies represent (or remind you of) the students and the overall career. In short, many "old school" educators were savers... whereas the newer, younger breed are minimalists. However, they often asked to borrow our items when needed. They just didn't want to store them!

[@dianegaus3561]

I see this in myself with crafts. Cross stitch: had to have ALL the colors of thread. Quilting: have to have large piles of specialty fabric and patterns. Beading: had to have all sizes of beads and wires. Piano: large stacks of music. All expensive items- difficult to part with.

[@MegaBossmare]

Me too!!

[@jhoughjr1]

thats not really hoarding. Thats being well equipped for a hobby. How often do you " try to clear a path"?

[@helenshg4580]

@@jhoughjr1 I agree with you completely. I think it would be idiotic to get rid of things that could be needed for a later project. If a person has to replace what was thrown away, the prices will be higher. Also it is a total assault on creativity.

[@mammadingo9165]

Share your passion s your craft your skills use it up while you can

[@jhoughjr1]

@@helenshg4580 yeah ties in to the present value vs future dollar. In a time like this, it would be better to stock up as even a few months later all prices will be increased. I have a small electronics hoard I plan to salvage gold from and useful parts such as toroids and transformers.

[@juliettemacdonald6184]

I had a problem with hoarding that really didn’t manifest itself until after I moved away a long distance from my small home town, to secure a job in a career I’d trained for, to a much larger city. The real reason I moved, at 27, was to avoid a boyfriend who was insisting on marriage + moving was to secure freedom but leaving my mom, family, friends, etc I still regret today...33 years. I became a compulsive shopper, when I was stressed, + once I saw a certain item, thinking back, I felt that no one would love the item as much as I did + once I bought it my life would be complete but that feeling lasted only until I saw my next item. I can honestly say that hoarding ruined my life + continues to do so. DR GRANDE-I’D APPRECIATE ANY INSIGHT YOU MAY HAVE-SUCH AS DIAGNOSES. MUCH APPRECIATED!

[@mammadingo9165]

Moving away from home definitely contributed to my hoarding . After my Nanna passed away it's so much worse as I see I hoarded my past and should have just visited home more . It really ruins things mentally and physically

[@hollygrosshans3529]

I think this is a phenomenal analysis. My cousin suffers with this disorder and I can see how these underlying causes relate to her from childhood. She is in therapy but has not yet reached the point where she can let go. Thanks for addressing this. - it helps family members to understand it better.

[@andreaturnquist4855]

My mom is a hoarder!! Thank you for your hard work!!

[@lauriepowell3959]

Great for Tracy! That’s very encouraging to me, too. Reflections on MULTIPLES of clothes that I wear most of the time. Because: I am comfortable, feel like MYSELF in them. They are in good shape, fit well, work well together, I look good and/or acceptable in them, I don’t have to make decisions about them every time I want to wear them. They are “my look,” almost like a uniform, but are still stylish, not glaringly out of date. Because I have multiples I always have one set that fits my current weight, which may fluctuate within a month or two, they are always clean and ready to go. However, I do occasionally buy clothes that I end up not wearing because they don’t meet the criteria above. I guess it’s time to donate them. I think if I clear out the “excess” I will be able to pick some items from them that I can mix and wear with what I have now and still feel good about myself. I do feel guilty about all the excess/never worn items and I noticed that I always hang them outside of my closet where I will see them every day. As if they would magically transform to be exactly what I would wear. Time to get rid of them, too. Thanks for the timely video. 👍

[@paper-chasepublications9433]

It sounds like they really went out of their way to help Tracey, much like how you go out of your way to help your subscribers and I'm sure your patients in real life. I truly appreciate your dedication and commitment to researching and bringing us useful, relevant information regarding mental health topics on a regular basis. Thanks again Doctor Grande!

[@lt2339]

Multiple sets of clothing.....it is said if you ever find a good bra that fits, buy all of them!

[@sueg7174]

My cousin did that !

[@helenhighwater5313]

...the reason being that the manufacturer will stop making that one or change it in some way. It is a dilemma at best.

[@ladylibertywdc8324]

Many wealthy women buy in multiples- Jackie O was noted for it. No closet space problem there. Women's fashions more than ever have gone down in quality, ie: fiber content & workmanship. Very little quality control for shoes & handbags now even compared to the '80's. All things in moderation would help prevent hoarding.

[@ericfair-layman2429]

Both of my parents are hoarders. I can let areas go too and have trouble getting organized. One thing that has kept my hoarding to a minimum is a philosophy for shoveling out. Instead of worrying about maybe needing an item down the road, I feel great if 1 in 20 I need later, that's success. Case in point, I just shoveled out A TON of stuff and the next day my gf asked if I had an ice cream maker, which I'd just gotten rid of. I actually felt success at the whole pattern, that 1 in 20 things I'll need back; I wasn't bummed at all I needed that back.

[@Throatzillaaa]

I love this group of counseling and caseworkers. I wish there was more outreach programs like this!

[@jhoughjr1]

some of us are just crazy ppl

[@penelopehughes-jones5265]

I think I had elements of both OCD and hoarding as a child, I really had difficulty seeing inanimate objects as not having feelings, I would feel sorry for throwing away even a candy wrapper and would hide it down the back of the piano, rather than throw it away. As a result my heart goes out to those who end up in a really bad way with this, hearing of this case and how significantly this lady was helped is really moving, I'd wish the same treatment for anyone able to work with it. Thanks so much for your knowledge and empathetic analysis, Doctor Grande.

[@argusfleibeit1165]

Thank you for your understanding and respectful presentation of this case. I am struggling with this kind of behavior, and feel very stuck. I start out determined to clear up and clean up, but as soon as I start going through, each item seems like "it" is determined to stay. I do find more and more to donate, which as you noted, is a helpful way to get some of it out of my own possession for someone else's use. And I have cut out my shopping habit, which I did more for entertainment and to get out of the house. The past year of being isolated has helped in that, but I need to find other things to do once we can go out more normally. I have a bad habit of acquiring supplies and tools for different hobbies and craft projects that I never quite get into doing. I have a lot of diagnoses, and have struggled all my life with these kinds of problems. Sometimes I say that my house looks like what is going on inside my head-- a big clutter of confusion looking for a way out, but just turning in on itself. It seems to be a never-ending struggle. Every surface that I clear off is quickly returned to its cluttered, piled up condition. It's almost like I can't stand to put things away or I'll forget what I have.

[@LL-lj1kq]

I grew up with a hoarder mom. It was awful. We lived in fear of everything.

[@MireVale]

Sounds rough. I hope things are going well for you now

[@francesbernard2445]

-- While being often gifted with clothing in a style you don't like while being pushed out of the nest at an earlier age than most?

[@oww161]

I really feel your comment. I grew up in poverty with five siblings, my parents got divorced when I was six - that was when my mom became severely mentally ill and our home started to look like shit and to smell musty as well. Rooms with a lot of furniture and visible items make me feel uncomfortable nowadays, it reminds me of my sister's and my "bed room" (it was more like a cave lol, we didn't have real lights).

[@oww161]

@@francesbernard2445 My mom was so focused on saving money and useless items/furniture due to poverty and being a single mom of six children that she neglected all of her actual duties; couldn't provide anything basically. I remember when almost graduating from school, she wrote me a letter telling me that I have to move out after graduation and get a job because she could no longer take care of me. So at 17 I moved out; far away from her lol.

[@twopetals3907]

@@oww161 ​@@oww161 wow, you are quite ungrateful. How dares your mother want you to grow and take responsibility for your own life. Any descent human would take on an opportunity to help out with raising siblings, considering situation. Ugh to be like you. Brain of a mollusk. You are going nowhere in life, and it is not your mother's fault.

[@deborahwhatford9831]

Thank you for doing a video on this condition. I hate those hoarding programmes on TV. Mental illness isn't entertainment. Hoarding disorder is something that rarely gets diagnosed in my opinion. I'm in the UK.

[@tnreb8777]

I totally agree with you. I have a 20 yr hoarding disorder. I have reached out to the, Hoarders show, only to find out, one must have a $20,000. down payment to recieve help. So, the show not only makes monies from the broadcast of these shows, each person's family they have helped, have paid tens of thousands of dollars, to get the help. God bless you, from East Tennessee, 🇺🇸

[@bridgettjohnson7437]

I don't think "the hoarding program" is meant to be "entertainment"....but to give insight and education and understanding to a hoarder their family or close friend (s) what is going on mentaly and emotional with the person who is a hoarder. Hoarding is one of many mental health issues...and any kind of health issue may not be "diagnosed" if it's not brought to the attention of health care proffesional. Hoarding is not a public health issue brought to the public's attention like an out brake of a contagious viral or bacterial disease.

[@bridgettjohnson7437]

@@tnreb8777 how much do you think it would cost you on your own to clean out, clean up, re-organise, haul away, work with counseling on your "20yr." hoard? Do you really think those people get all of those services mentioned above for free? Counciling alone is not cheap without all the other services. You watch the program...most of those homes have some degree of toxcicity that are dangerous enough to present health issues for the folks cleaning up a hoard.

[@tnreb8777]

@@bridgettjohnson7437 I totally agree. Nothings free. Why not advertise, or call it a inform- commernial. Everybody that has mental illness in thier family would help, if for profit? New A&E Show, 'Exploit for Profit, my Cray-Cray Family Edition', lmao!

[@judithm375]

Things are slowly improving in the UK but understanding is still patchy among professionals and they still make a distinction between those of them giving counselling and those of them giving practical help (a distinction which, interestingly, Dr Grande expected to be in place). As for these ghastly TV programmes, I'm astonished it took TV producers so long to come up with them. Let's face it, they're an obvious nice little earner. Cheap to make, just take a camera into the person's house. And now TnReb tells us that in the USA television companies charge their victims ... oh, I mean guests! (By the way, I don't accept all this exaggerated talk of hazards! Given emotional support, hoarders might clean up mess themselves. I'm a hoarder and today I cleaned up a corner of my house where clutter had stopped my dealing with dampness damage. At worse, TV companies could pay hazard experts and still make a handsome profit.) The popularity of the programmes stems from the fact that lots of people are downright nosey about other people's possessions and other people's houses. Though the first fly-on-the-wall documentary in the UK was made in the '70s there was no hoarding "documentary" until about 2000 (as far as I know). So here's something more for those of us interested in psychology to think about: why did it take the TV people so long to cotton on to exploiting this rich vein?

[@queenjayneapproximately]

As an in-home elder care worker, I run into hoarding frequently so I'm very interested in understanding this disorder more.

[@josephjannuzzi1711]

Frontal lobe brain injuries.

[@JP-ve7or]

Just curious, how do you deal with a client in a home like that? Near the end of my mother's life I'd have liked her to have some help at home--like a daytime nurse maybe--but she was a hoarder (and, honestly, a bit of a control freak) and I couldn't talk her into accepting help.

[@queenjayneapproximately]

@@JP-ve7or I work for an agency similar to help at home, so our clients have been referred by a doctor for our services and they have chosen to accept the help. If a person doesn't want the help, we can't force it. My company has a policy that we have to ask permission to throw anything away, so hoarders can be especially difficult. We provide other services than cleaning, so we try to focus on those activities. If a home is in a dangerous state, we would contact social services and elder services and those agencies would do their best to explain the situation and urge the client into allowing clean up. I will admit that in a hoarder home I have broken policy and thrown away spoiled food. I couldn't in good conscious not throw away a can of chicken that was 14 years expired. 😫🤢

[@LilyOfTheTower]

@@queenjayneapproximately I bet you have some pretty interesting stories to tell. If I could, I'd buy you lunch one day and hear them. But thank you for what you do. My parents are elderly and they have caregivers that help them, and it's such a blessing knowing they're getting help besides from me. It's a tough job!! I think caregivers have the best hearts out there!

[@JP-ve7or]

@@queenjayneapproximately Whew, sounds like a tough job. One time a social worker told me basically it was unfortunate but my mother was an adult with the right to make bad decisions (until her dementia got to the point where she was nondecisional) and it happens all the time. Thanks for your reply.

[@amb5176]

i love how organised and intelligent your videos are, Dr Grande

[@user-gh1gm8lp6t]

I work in mental health in San Diego and many county funded programs go in the field and I have definitely helped with things like this. Assertive community treatment models usually require this

[@ladylibertywdc8324]

MOCO, MD on border of DC wouldn't touch helping hoarders but was pro-active in seeking illegals to totally financially support at least since 2014. 1 notorious hoarder was so litigious & appeared to be schizophrenic. She refused to live in her full house & was constantly preying on her neighbors for a place to "crash" & valuables to steal. She fenced stolen goods to pay her property taxes & maintain her sorry "lifestyle" as a divorced over 70 now.

[@jmdenison]

@@ladylibertywdc8324 The property remedy to hoarding is you have to get a court order and a guardianship to go in there have the person living another place for a week you clean up their place and then you move them back and make sure there's a court order for a cleaning lady once a week. That should take care of the problem. Also the kids could come over and help clean when my parents and grandparents got elderly I came over and made sure the house was clean they had whatever they needed groceries medications trips to the doctor and of course I made sure the house was clean. Whether they wanted it or not because they knew I could just get a court order for it. Kids have to know how to properly take care of their elderly parents and that includes guardianship court orders and orders for cleaning ladies

[@gigischaumburg4289]

I live in San Diego. How can I connect for help?

[@charlenekendall913]

Momma passed away last year and it took me and my husband 2 exhausting weeks to clear out her house. She was a very neat tidy person and no indication of hoarding on the surface, but going through the rooms after she passed became almost a nightmare. I'm still in recovery mode.

[@sandradankowski6120]

Charlene, my mom passed away 3 years ago with an organized cluttered hoarder house. She lived through the depression era. All closets cabinets and basement full, garage and 2 sheds as well. I have had to clear out most of it except for furniture by myself. Not done yet. Personal greeting cards from 1950 through DOD 2019. Nothing thrown out. Paperwork from old relatives that she was executrix of estates in basement. Oh & basement has heavy mold and dampness issues so unless you could wash it needed all that stuff, furniture, clothes including her wedding dress, legal paperwork etc needed to be thrown out. I'm not done & not recovered and her house is 900 miles out of state. I have physically spent about 12 months there cleaning not counting the paperwork responsibilities of being her executrix. I understand.

[@kimberlyperrotis8962]

Two weeks isn’t too bad, it took me months to do my mother-in-law’s house and she wasn’t a hoarder. People do accumulate a lot over a lifetime.

[@gstbadcat1]

My aunt was a psychologist with a thriving practice who became a hoarder herself. Her mother, her aunt, and her brother(my father) were all hoarders living in stuff up to the ceiling with only paths to various places in and outside the house. I noticed among my extended family’s stories that those who went thru the Great Depression in urban areas, had a tendency towards hoarding, whereas those who went thru that era on farms, seemed to fair better. Urban cousins who recount that time, talk about always being hungry, while the rural cousins proudly reminisce about having to repurpose. Not an all inconclusive observation, but something we in the following generation couldn’t help take note of.

[@danutahanyga4834]

OMG! I've developed one of those in recent years. So I am now officially mental. I have difficulty throwing things out. I am acutely aware that I have a problem. No delusions or illusions here. Recently, I asked my son if a toaster can go in the normal rubbish bin. He said yes, and added are you sure you can do it without losing sleep? He clearly noticed that something is odd.

[@isaaksteshman9879]

I believe there is a thin line between collecting things and hoarding stuff! But then again collecting cars for example can be as troublesome as clogging a living space with magazines and furniture?!

[@lillyrose3545]

My mom’s hoarding eventually spilled over to her car, and then to storage lockers. I had so much shame that people could see her hoard, or picking up a 60th vacuum from the side of the street, or not throwing out a cracked plastic bucket because “I am going to find a use for this later.” She would yell at us because she said that none of us would help her clean, but there was nowhere to put it because of her things. We had rodents, and mold, etc. No one saved me- including my father who was and still is married to her. I saved myself by spending the most time at friend’s home as possible. Thank you for helping me understand what hoarding is like for her and why. I would love if you could tell us more about how hoarding houses while being raised has long term effects on the children.

[@artistsperspective5826]

My Dad was a hoarder as he grew older, books that he bought from second hand store were piled high to the ceiling with a pathway to walk through his apartment and they were everywhere, he also bought hundreds of nik nacks & little toys, when I was younger we were a family of 7, the house was uncluttered back then and he was verbally abuse to me and my mother, the others weren't treated as bad, he smoked pot up till the day he died. Call it what you may some people are just bad.

[@riblets1968]

I had an elderly uncle who, after his wife, my aunt, died in 1999, steadily increased his possessions in his house to the point where it was difficult to navigate the rooms. He was also reluctant to entertain visitors for that reason, quite understandably. Yet, he was a social butterfly and highly liked and well respected by his community (high extroversion, unlike his nephew). But he was social largely outside his home. He was also highly intelligent and his cognitive abilities diminished little with age and he showed no sign of dementia right to the end. It would be inaccurate to attribute this behavior to stupidity. He may or may not have had these tendencies while my aunt was alive but she certainly did not keep a cluttered house. I can imagine exchanges between them where she would put her foot down had he tried accumulating stuff in any abundance. I've long considered that the sense of loss he experienced after her death--he outlived his wife by about 19 years--contributed towards this behavior. Your talk gives me other dynamics to ponder now, which I most appreciate, as always.

[@l.a.raustadt518]

I see some of myself in your comment. My ex + GF are after me to straighten up my act. It is a "clean mess" but 5 pounds of junk in a 1 pound bag! My bad!

[@SHurd-rc2go]

How articulate you are!

[@shantitakemoto1058]

I appreciate what you said about it’s not “stupidity” or lack of cognition-I have hoarding tendencies and have been accused like this but all that does is make you hold on tighter because the person you’re trying to trust to help you is telling you something that you pretty much know is inaccurate, so it’s easy to discount everything else they say or try to make you do, even if they mean well

[@riblets1968]

@@shantitakemoto1058 Yes. One the one hand, it's good to have people in your life that care. But on the other hand, if they don't have an understanding of your issue they may not only be unhelpful but even counterproductive. I suspect that anxiety is at the center of it but my own understanding of hoarding is quite limited, albeit broadened somewhat by Dr. Grande's talk. I hope you can can get the help you actually need from, say, a professional or other knowledgeable individual.

[@shantitakemoto1058]

@@riblets1968 yeah that counterproductive part is so hard to explain, especially in the moment-and thank you and I am getting help soon, I’m in the last stage of getting rid of things and found out my insurance covers psychology for anything! So looking forward to healing even more 🤞🏽

[@ingridclaros933]

Thank you for this video Dr. Grande . I myself have always loved Art . I use to paint and draw when I was a youngster and surround my entire bedroom with my own art . As I got older it was replaced with music and then collectibles . I have a very difficult time have anything in my home that looks messy . I don’t have a trash can inside my house . Everything is thrown outside . I feel anxiety having trash in the house but I have extensive collections of art, books and toys that are organized but I’ve ran out of room and have been giving items away to the goodwill . I do understand I don’t need so much but I love being surrounded by things that I love . I feel depressed when I see walls bare walls but now I’m trying to find a happy medium . Thank you for this video

[@dacisky]

When I lived in NC,we had a hoarder neighbor,she was given a house by kin,which she promptly started filling up with stuff. She would not even open the boxes,but would just order more stuff. She finally decided to sell her original house.K called on help from the hoarding company who does the tv show and D was eased through the ordeal. There were also holes in a wall and 3 possums lived there with the cats. As far as we know,they never knew the possums were there. Where the house was is now a field of flowers and rabbits visit it.

[@lnc-to4ku]

That was very interesting! It's a very sad condition! I remember watching a few episodes of the popular TV show, Hoarders years back and was always so shocked, and depressed by the people who were living in that kind of state. It must take a terrible emotional toll having to clear, clean space.

[@jhoughjr1]

nah the toll is the opposite. Never having a clean clear space.

[@JesseWright68]

I helped a friend move who refused to throw out some old Kenny G records that he got at an estate sale for free that he had never listened to and couldn't because he didn't own a record player. The irony of course is that he thought the records had value, when in fact they were a liability, not an asset.

[@ajessm]

This reminds me that there is a safety concern with hoarding. There was a case, not long ago where a lady hoarded, among other things, newspapers to the point that there remained only tiny spaces to walk in each room and corridors. One night there was a fire, sparked by a heater. The place was quickly engulfed in flames; the fire-fighters couldn't access the house because of the lack of space. A sad end for this poor lady.

[@malcolmferguson2771]

A kind informed person who I could listen to all day long explaining pretty much anything

[@franmellor9843]

Awww this is such a sad disorder, think we all may know somebody with it or very close too it but as always DR GRANDE to the rescue with his expert analysis ......great insight into this!

[@rochellekramer2080]

My best childhood friend has a hoarding issue. She grew up with a very unsafe and abusive father. Even as a small child she stacked newspapers up in her bedroom as if building a fort. I thought that was quite brilliant for a child's sense of safety but not the grown woman she is now. The videos are so interesting and useful.

[@juliecantin]

Thank you for this case analysis! I always find them interesting and this one in particular warmed my heart - it feels so good to hear of the effective and compassionate work that was done to help this woman.

[@ladykemma3]

I headed down this path. I thought things had feelings and would be sad or abandoned if gotten rid of. What I did to get past this, was the idea of rehoming or recycling the articles. "I let this go to a good home." If I have to take things to goodwill, they never get there. Instead, I put them on the front curb for people to take.

[@rosannegailey9907]

You are so understanding and realistic regarding mental health.

[@kesmarn]

I have to wonder whether, once this pandemic passes by, we'll be left with a generation of toilet paper hoarders.

[@BellaBelleBella]

🤣🤣🤣

[@daisy7066]

The Hoarders are safe...

[@ediesongbird3163]

Nah it’s just group think

[@cdorothy444]

My old grandma still queues up for and hoards free cleaning stuff when she has a lot of excesses... She doesn't listen...

[@lindawilliams2623]

Yes indeed!! 😂🤣 StIll no toilet paper in the stores here In New Orleans because of the T.P. hoarders.

[@mayrawellington1130]

Thank you Dr. Grande for your compassionate and thoughtful videos. I’m learning so much from you.❤️🌷❤️

[@wandaparker9340]

Your video of Hoarding Disorder really helped me a lot. All the symptoms I have are the same as “Tracy’s” symptoms. I have a large storage unit that is costing me $200 each month full of things I have bought from a Thrift Store my good friend owns, over the last two years. I have a goal set of my own, to sell my 1980 Avion 34V Travel Trailer this year, to purchase a used Flat Nose Blue Bird Diesel Pusher School Bus to demo inside and then build a forever home for myself and my two small puppies in. I’m 65yrs young this year and I want to get back out in life and start traveling again. Not as much as I used to travel, but as much as I can travel. I’m still taking care of myself and am still very healthy,. I’m looking forward to a brighter and better life than just sitting in my Travel Trailer alone and lonely, filling my storage unit with items I’m not using! I’m also going to start selling every thing out of the storage unit this spring and getting that bill off my budget.

[@donnacolwell3988]

Do you really need to sell what is in your storage unit, or can you give it away and be done with the $200 a month bill? It might be cheaper for you in the long run.

[@kez-chick5647]

Thank you so much for this video, I could see part of me in Tracy, I had a friend come in and help me it took three days, and it was very emotional 😭 I look around now and realise I need to do more. Mine started with a divorce and I had a four bedroom house 🏠 and moved into a two bedroom house 🏡 So much was sentimental, I still had things from when I was a child etc. I’m finding decluttering again very stressful and don’t know where to start.

[@dj-dq4lr]

I started with a box full of paperwork and a partially completed house that stopped completion during a 2 year divorce process with an abusive (physical mental financial spiritual) clinically antisocial sociopath

[@dhobonov]

The case study process is fascinating. I had no idea such a thing existed, or as my son would say, that that's a thing. I really appreciate the effort that you put into these videos, Dr. Grande.

[@johnnyrommel4113]

Outstanding result! I really dig the out-of-box thinking that empowered the patient. I feel that giving the patient a little guidance was taking that baby step to making that connection. Once she saw that she can get rid of things in ways that were productive to her, she was able to pick up these skills on her own. Inspiring message.

[@lydialeonard7488]

As someone who came from a severe hoarder home, videos like this help me humanize my parents and move foreward, learning to avoid this future for myself. Also worth noting its interesting how many children of hoarders either grow up to become one themself, or grow up to be a minimalist. It seems like its hard for children of hoarding situations struggle to find a healthy middle ground with items/stuff.

[@caroleanderson4020]

Both my parents had some difficulty with hoarding. My mother was able to keep my father s collections in check. But after he died, her hoarding kicked in and got steadily worse and even began to include animals. My big brother became minimalist. He cherishes his family and his hummer and that's it. I bought a big house in rural France with my partner. I can't deny we both have hoarding tendencies.

[@lydialeonard7488]

@@caroleanderson4020 within the year I wrote this I've started tiny living in an RV full time and it's helped a lot with keeping things tidy. I struggle evey day with hoarding tendency's but it's worth the struggle to have open area.

[@caroleanderson4020]

@@lydialeonard7488 💗Whereas I bought a >300 year old stone house in a 700 year old town in rural soFrance. I moved my library and enormous art supply here. Since the covid lockdowns, I only leave my house for groceries. It's good to sell from SanDiego. My 5 bedroom prop 13 inheritance moved sideways to an 18 room historical building in the country of my personal dreams. Sideways because my new antique home is a serious fixer-upper. But the roof, plumbing & electricity are functional and, feeling like an artist observing the end of the world, I don't care about the cosmetics. I think the Tao te ching says, ''It's the space within that makes it useful.'' I hope to go through my mother's archives, add to them with my own, being both of us present and creatively recording a moment in time. I'm just pretty sad right now with the state of the world. Congratulations and respect on your tiny home life. I think reduction and minimalism is every bit as creative as what I'm trying to do; indeed tiny house videos are staple inspiration for me. I'm seriously a recluse right now. But I love the view outside my as yet uncounted windows. Ptui ptui ptui. Thanks for sharing 💞

[@michelleduncan9965]

I find these videos very helpful. This one has motivated me to take stock of my stuff to evaluate whether I'm keeping too much. I have a relative who hoards & I sure don't want to end up like that person.

[@Billybloop]

My husband is a hoarder and I'm the complete opposite. I have no attachment to objects and have no trouble letting things go that I don't feel are useful to me now or in the near future or that I feel are garbage. I could fit my life in a small van and still have space. I can personally account for everything I own and I know where it all is. The problem my husband has is that he just isn't organized or clean. It's gotten to the point where I can't even throw my own things away without him making a fight over it so I have to do it in secret. Today I visibly threw away two cookies without thinking that came loose in the pantry and he raised his voice at me saying I throw his money away. He's a handyman and an engineer who is productive and busy so a lot of his stuff relates to his passions but he also hoards anything he would consider useful and he buys non perishable food excessively and small gadgets. I have managed to cope with this by making sure that things are kept out of the common areas. He agrees to this but it takes a lot of management on my behalf. Power tools, wires, drywall, wood and boxes of screws, nails and bolts keep appearing all over my kitchen counters for example but he doesn't protest if I myself move them or if I ask him to do so. He also won't throw away broken things. He holds onto broken ear phones and charging cables and we have boxes of them. His excuse is that he hasn't fully 'checked them' but when I show him that they don't work he tells me he has to check independently because he's smarter than I am and when I ask him to he's busy and will do it later. I believe he has some insight into his problem but it makes him feel overwhelmed and ashamed to openly admit and address it. He also doesn't notice unhygienic living conditions which is something else that seems common with a lot of hoarders. I know for a fact that if he didn't have anyone in his life that was somewhat organized and clean his living conditions would be very poor. Since I have been with him I have managed to get him to throw away old receipts, cardboard boxes, useless paperwork, packaging and junk mail. He will still try and make excuses to hold onto these things sometimes but ultimately it's much easier to get him to throw them away when I confront him. This felt like a big step for him and he did acknowledge he had a problem at one point but now he doesn't as he can apparently throw away some things at least. I think it's important to instill boundaries with a hoarder. If I let him have the whole house me and the children would have no space for daily living. A lot of hoarders suddenly worsen when their spouse dies or leaves and when adult children leave home and I believe it's a response to not having people who instill these boundaries with them and they can then give into all their impulses.

[@miathompson1172]

I really feel for you. My uncle was a hoarder and it was very difficult for my aunt as she is very tidy. She found his constant hoarding very stressful. He passed away some years ago and she cleared away all the objects that he had hoarded. It can be a very stressful environment to live in.

[@timetoretire]

Thank you for covering this. I have two friends who are hoarders as many folks comment on. I understand the comment below of when when one suffers huge loss in many ways like in my history. Desertion by father. Emotional, physical and financial abuse by a spouse at a young age and so many of my things were destroyed. Other losses also. I have all many childhood treasures my room is a time capsule. Books, games, animals etc and now share them with my granddaughter. They've been my security blanket.

[@mammadingo9165]

Yes this is me also ... But I was recently robbed ! They stole a doll my nan and pop (grandmother & grandfather) gave me for my first Easter! 34 years she sat by my bed . It's absolutely hurt to the core .. lost my nan just the year before so to lose little Annie . Life changing I feel so foolish childish depressed .

[@dakotakeller1606]

Very wholesome story! I had no idea that hoarding was a recognized disorder, I had always assumed it was a behavior that could be attributed to other disorders, or something along those lines. An interesting video as always, keep it up! As an aspiring psych major I cant thank you enough for your content!

[@daisy7066]

I've got a closet full of clothes I dont wear (yet), hard to get vintage items, partly because I got rid of some sentimental items before and now regret it.... no one is taking them off me! Storage is the issue.

[@hollybauer739]

Yes! Same! I don’t keep/collect any other kinds of items. I just don’t think throwing out perfectly good clothes and shoes is a reasonable solution just because I live in a small apartment with no storage.

[@lilpoohbear653]

@@hollybauer739 there are good will resle stores in every city in america...or maybe a church ministry that gives out clothes or sells clothes at a huge discount

[@robertzimberg]

Your analysis of this topic was not only interesting, informative and insightful... but also very understanding, compassionate and humane. ❤

[@carmensavu5122]

First time I binge-watched a hoarder shows for a couple of days, it put the fear of God into me (which is an accomplishment, considering I'm a staunch Atheist) and I started tidying and cleaning like there was no tomorrow. :))))

[@LL-lj1kq]

♥️

[@alfrancis8]

I have the opposite reaction. It makes me feel I am not that bad and then i just dont clean lol

[@MichNative01]

I watched the hoarding show the other night, omg...first I feel for the people...then I wonder how this happens. Im with you Carmen, I clean constantly ( probably have ocd!! Laughing) But i couldn't live like this.

[@tammybain6582]

Instead of deciding there is no God, why don't you ask Him if He is really there? And if He is...your heart is open and you'd truly like to know the truth.

[@andreadiamond7115]

Hello fellow Atheist 👋🏻👋🏻

[@steppy3736]

I see this with my husband. He's all about accumulating. He's now insisting on keeping things that are broken and cannot be fixed i.e. toaster and food saver. He even insists on keeping stained and torn clothing. He also labels himself a packrack.

[@lorrainechavez654]

I think it is a "pack rat".

[@steppy3736]

@@lorrainechavez654 it is. But my phone likes to change words.

[@judithparker4608]

When narcissism is in the family, it's extremely harmful to the target and children!

[@thenebraskan6977]

Thanks for the awesome video aDr. Grande! I see a lot of the signs and symptoms in my own life. Keep up the great work.