Holmes and Watson reviewed by Mark Kermode

Mark Kermode reviews Holmes and Watson. During this week's Top Ten countdown, Mark submitted his thoughts on Holmes and Watson, which came out over the Christmas break.
Please tell us what you think of the film -- or Mark’s review of the film. We love to include your views on the show every Friday.
If you like this, why not subscribe to our podcast for more reviews, interviews and general wittering of the highest order: www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00l...
Twitter: @Wittertainment
www.bbc.co.uk/5live
Fridays at 2pm on BBC 5 live.

[@tomtalks23]

"Holmes and Watson" "*Sigh*" Oh this is gonna be good.

[@bruceledsom]

I think the review could have stopped there

[@AlisonBryen]

He didn't need to say anymore...we all got the message...

[@blackmetalops4415]

"It's like being smacked in the face with a comedy mallet of shrieking grimness." - Mark Kermode, 2019

[@TheSt1092]

I love it when Mark rips a film to shreds.

[@shayZero]

Do you reckon C. Reily was in the 5 live green room listening to all this before the Stan & Ollie interview? Haha

[@AlisonBryen]

😂

[@optimisticwhovian1726]

Next stop; The 5 Live C Reily interview....

[@Harkness197]

Hahaha I loved he ripped into it knowing he's next door, reminded me of that love actually bit lol

[@autunnu]

"I'm sorry, I'm boring you. Anyway, it's rubbish." Famous last words. Kermode, January 2019.

[@tankgunner9860]

Czen de la Serna-Limbago 2019’s motto

[@megamoviez]

Well Mayo is always looking bored lol

[@jwnj9716]

Then he was killed....now its time for Holmes & Watson to investigate.

[@Quint1975]

I was a little but annoyed at SM impatience. These films deserve the derision that's due and MK has the platform and the ability to do it in spades. If SM gets bored, annoyed or impatient with someone who's doing his job then you you might question why he's part of it in the first place. In any case let's hope SM was lacking sleep or something that caused him to cut MK off.

[@AndyGait]

@@Quint1975 Mayo has been wonderfully bored and grumpy for years. Long may it continue.

[@scuderia_rob]

"Holmes and Watson is indescribably bad!" That's all the review you need!

[@stuartkenny7430]

It was filmed 2 years ago, and Columbia sat on it until now. They've had a turd all along, and they knew it, the fact it runs 90 minutes hints that there might have been a longer cut out there. How bad must the longer cut have been for this to be deemed better? Columbia tried offloading it to Netflix to get rid of it, and they refused to take it!

[@humann6831]

They released it in the "dump months" too because it's when studios expect their films to tank.

[@adamclinton8241]

What about Into The Spider Verse? That was great and it was released in the “dump months”

[@humann6831]

@@adamclinton8241 It was released in December. Dump months are Jan-Feb.

[@ChildOfTheWilderness]

Why was it even made? Surely they knew it was garbage from the start

[@stuartkenny7430]

@@johnplatt8565 Then again, Netflix took The Cloverfield Paradox off Paramount's hands after poor test screenings. They also brought Mowgli from Warner Bros. Neither are completely terrible, there's definitely worse films out there.

[@somanytakennames]

When Mark's first comments about the film involves talking about how much he likes the cinema he's seen it in you know it's bad.

[@joeodonnell921]

Comedy is struggling to recover from the ferrell factor when he became a main star because he kicked off the kind of films that just have actors ad lib instead of write a script & just build a film around that. Ad lib or improv has created some iconic moments of cinema but you also need a script to keep everything on track.

[@ilash81]

I'm not sure if Ferrell is to blame for this but, yeah, nothing has been more harmful to comedies in recent years than exactly this phenomenon. Yes, Curb Your Enthusiasm and Best in Show are brilliant but most comedy needs finely honed scripting to work at all.

[@joeodonnell921]

@@ilash81 to be fair i don't fully blame him he went for something to separate himself from the pack back when he was playing second fiddle in films like 'old school' and he got his own fame, and I won't lie his randomness caught me out early on with some chuckles but then it never stopped. I think I heard a reviewer who was close to someone on the set of 'cop out' and they said to them Tracy Morgan was showing up Bruce Willis for ad libing and they gave the right response in explaining that's because Willis is an actor in the real sense of he needs a script. I blame the lazyness in the people making it from the producer to the director to the script writer they arnt even trying just cashing in.

[@joeodonnell921]

@@ilash81 I suppose should be just thankful its been awhile since films that where 'meet the Spartans' & 'epic movie'

[@ilash81]

@@joeodonnell921 Man, you can say that again. And I did really enjoy those early will Ferrell movies but the Other Guys is probably the last time I really enjoyed one of his films. But yeah, I'm with you: I don't really care if he started the trend or not, but the fact that ad-libbing has become the norm rather than the exception does just scream of laziness, especially in terms of writing.

[@joeodonnell921]

@@ilash81 and I think it holds him back I think he could act with the right roles and he seems a likable guy but if he just wants keep doing this leave poor john c Reilly out of it lol guys such a talent.

[@UnkleRiceYo]

"Comedy, suicide and marrow sequence"

[@Mattodonovan004]

"It's like being smacked in the face with a comedy mallet of shrieking grimness"

[@Steaminlidz]

I wonder if ‘Holmes & Watson’ will be to Will Ferrell’s career what ‘The Love Guru’ was to Mike Myers?

[@humann6831]

Will Ferrell's career should be taken out the back and shot. His output over the last 5-10 years has been woeful and thus seems like it was a new low. It would be better to stop than to keep coming up with this stuff.

[@Rueuhy]

Let us hope.

[@skaterluke0224]

I loved the love guru xD

[@doodooswaggy3825]

Damn near. He’s yet to recover.

[@tankgunner9860]

‘Sigh’ Another legendary Kermode rant

[@adamsinclair1959]

Still one of my favourite reviews by Kermode, it's almost worth the film existing so he could tear it apart.

[@rockinchimp]

The fact this doesn't even look as funny as the Guy Ritchie Sherlock Holmes films is pretty damning.

[@jpobrien2123]

It's not nearly as funny as the BBC series either

[@Vaultboy-ke2jj]

“Thinking that shrieking is funny” he just described Will Ferrell’s career...

[@optimisticwhovian1726]

Just described a good percentage of American alleged comedians or comedy actors frankly, you can throw Jim Carey straight in that bin as well as Adam Sandler, theyre all rubbish.

[@spartanhoplite3753]

Optimistic Whovian hmmm a disagree with you on Jim Carey there. Jim Carey is also an impressive physical comedian, as annoying as he can be when he speaks too much. There are some films where he is truly brilliant.

[@matman000000]

@@spartanhoplite3753 Jim Carey has a few really great performances, but his usual exaggerated acting can be really annoying. He's doing the worst thing a comedian can do: acting funny.

[@Clay3613]

You clearly haven't actually seen many of Will Ferrell's movies or are just negative.

[@ryszard68]

Didn't do Sam Kinison's career any harm?!

[@ausbrx]

Saw it on opening night; full theater. Audience never laughed once.

[@henrygerard2315]

Hey you're not ONE of the leading film critics in the nation... You're the best

[@blackmetalops4415]

One of the best heard in the colonies as well!

[@redlightmax]

SonOfSeth Imagine Mike and Jay, with special guest Mark, doing a re:View. I, for one, would clap.

[@saoirsedeltufo7436]

He’s the best because when he is subjective he acknowledges it. Too many film critics can’t separate objectivity and subjectivity (e.g. Peter Bradshaw who I used to like a lot)

[@neilchetwood4625]

Henry Gerard My opinion of him plummeted when he said Amy Schumer was funny? WTF!

[@MrMaximum789]

Kermode should have to review any and all clangers he misses when he's off

[@Cobralalalala]

I loved that he started by reviewing the cinema. I really thought that was going to go on, just so he didn't have to review the movie. But then he did and that was amazing too. :)

[@ArtemisScribe]

When the video starts with Mark's exasperated sigh you know it's going to be a good one.

[@OGR-4394]

My friend and I turned to each other, laughing, saying "Oh my god" frequently during this movie. I heard others laughing during that session, but it could be for the same reason. I almost like how awful it is, like it's a conscious entity set out on destroying comedy itself.

[@jackfruth3738]

Cant believe they asked him to go watch that... just think of how many quality films dont get reviewed by the BBC and Holmes and Watson got 2 REVIEWS!!

[@Patrick-jj5nh]

because people want to hear him rage about it, producers know what audience wants

[@paladinbob1236]

@@Patrick-jj5nh would this have influenced his worse ten films of the last ten years list , i wonder? :D

[@mansnotbot4160]

They asked him because Mark gets clicks and Robbie gets... (tumbleweed).

[@Oialca]

They reviewed it for me

[@alexpotts6520]

The BBC is a public service broadcaster, and telling people not to see this film is very much a public service.

[@GeniusLad32]

I love when the reviews are funnier than the film

[@BozQ]

YES! Mark reviews this! Thank you. My life is complete.

[@optimisticwhovian1726]

The sigh at the very start said it all, you can tell from the trailer alone its one of those grossly unfunny films and I give Mark his dues for having the guts to admit so despite the fact they were about to speak to one of the stars, that's courage cos I was fully expecting him to play it down for the sake of their guest if nothing else.

[@cwam1701e]

If you want to watch a genuinely funny Holmes and Watson spoof go watch "Without a Clue" with Ben Kingsley as Watson and Michael Caine as Homes (sort of...)

[@johnatkinson7126]

I agree brilliant film

[@MattMaloneMD]

"Sorry, I'm boring you . It's rubbish" should be the review on the poster.

[@Rueuhy]

How Will Farrel stays employed as a comedian is one of those mysteries that may never be solved. John C Reilly has done some brilliant work and it is a shame he'll be associated with this one. I have yet to see anything positive reported on this movie.

[@Onmysheet]

Ferrell was good in Everything Must Go.

[@eustacequinlank7418]

Was John C. Reilly sitting in the green room listening to this?

[@luigi_border]

where is the JOHN C RILEY interview after the movie release? where??

[@BCS1105]

I look at Holmes And Watson the same way I look at Slaughterhouse Rulez. In Slaughterhouse Rulez, you had Simon Pegg & Nick Frost...but why didn’t it work? Edgar Wright wasn’t there meaning that the magic of Shaun Od The Dead & Hot Fuzz wasn’t really there as Edgar Wright really gets a lot out of Frost & Pegg but I feel you can’t have two without the other. Now, Holmes And Watson has John C. Reilly & Will Ferrell but not Adam McKay who truly brought out the best of those two leads in his films Stepbrothers & Talladega Nights.

[@mrmogford3469]

Christ all mighty! This is one of those films that on my death bed I will look back regretting wasting my time watching and PAYING to see this!

[@mrmogford3469]

chunkycake101 blame my friends shitty taste In movies

[@mrsbrownandhercat]

According to the Hollywood Reporter, audiences have been flocking out of cinemas on this one.

[@penguin1011986]

I want Kermode and Double Toasted to do a crossover.

[@johnPaul-qn3dg]

Ahh I was hoping for another 'Without a clue' which was brilliant.

[@ClusterFoxtrot]

thank you for this gift

[@MSTRFKRT]

Etan Cohen should have changed his name out of respect

[@megamoviez]

Well he's no Coen Brothers

[@jamesoconnor9763]

I know :) I went for a google in sheer hope that it's someone else... and it is, phew!

[@notworthyourtime9799]

Funny thing is, it was also a different director named Cohen that Bill Murray agreed to do the voice of Garfield thinking it was one of the Coen Brothers.

[@Johnny6666]

@@notworthyourtime9799 Bill Murray had done the voice for 'Garfield' in animated TV shows in the 1980s. That's effectively why he did the films.

[@paladinbob1236]

looks like robbie went easy on it compared to mark :D but i think with two reviews this one is down pat :D

[@chrisgraybelfast]

I work in a cinema and I have had groups of teenagers walk out. Usually youth get a bad reputation for not having taste in film. Considering we've had The Edge of Seventeen and Love, Simon for that demograph in the past two years that have really excelled quality for that demograph. And here, what should be an easy gross out sell towards teenagers is now repelling them.

[@chrisgraybelfast]

@@ethanjones1327 Not at all. Edge of Seventeen and Love, Simon are two of my favourites of the past two years. What I'm trying to say is that usually teenagers in a cinema get the reputation of absorbing whatever nonsense is targetted towards them. And yet groups of them have rejected Holmes and Watson, showing that they have a better grasp on what is quality. The Edge of Seventeen and Love, Simon are genuine examples of not playing down for this audience.

[@chrisgraybelfast]

@@ethanjones1327 I see where the problem is. Shall reread. Although in my defense I was probably writing it at a stupid o'clock time. Love, Simon was in my Top 10. Well good for you. My advice is check out cheap days at your local cinemas and see whatever is playing - no matter how obscure. No need to spends lots of money. Film is for all. My favourite film last year was Bad Times at the El Royale. If you haven't seen it, treat in store for you.

[@chrisgraybelfast]

@@ethanjones1327 I bought my mum a Limitless Card so she could see more. I saw 132 of last year's releases. And still not enough! I always say that Awards are numpties. It's never up to an Awards Ceremony to tell us what movies are good or to watch. It's up to ourselves.

[@chrisgraybelfast]

@@ethanjones1327 Hey 117 is much more impressive then in your circumstances. I had to go to several cinemas including the one I work at, the indie cinema owned by the city's University and other locals. And you're quite right. Moonlight wouldn't have gained anyone at my cinema if it wasn't for Oscar buzz. Well exceptional good luck on this. I look forward to reading your reviews. Film forever. Ama veg out now on Marvel.

[@Borusa1976]

Eastleigh - my local cinema - have to keep an eye open for Mark.

[@pestopizza2001]

Eastleigh hampshire?

[@Borusa1976]

@@pestopizza2001 Yes

[@TheNegativeOptimist1]

@@Epicurus341 Harbour Lights is bloody lovely :)

[@Mr72Dolphins]

Wait, I hear the sequel is named "Watson and Holmes". Will be out in late 2019.

[@garyparkinson6198]

Right below the option to buy, love the optimism

[@HappyCynic]

Will Ferrell is one of the most unfunny people to have ever appeared in movies.

[@garysiddons2157]

Completely agree

[@pibyte]

Mark, we miss you uncut!

[@nlg]

People said there were voice dubbing

[@nickparton5663]

I live in Eastleigh. I really want to bump into Mark one day.

[@dansanfrisco]

We are a long ways from Step Brothers my dear Watson.

[@Quint1975]

Mallet of shrieking grimness. I wish I had one.

[@thrillcollectors]

Damn. Tell us how you really feel mark

[@charliehinde2982]

Someone needs to do a compilation of Kermode's most savage shreddings!

[@Ravi-xf8dw]

I think there is one.

[@Quint1975]

There is one around on YT and it's superb listening. It actually helps with closure on some of those films you grudge having spent the time and money on viewing.

[@ciaranmurren]

How does it open in America?

[@AlexSmith-om6fp]

Yes!

[@mansnotbot4160]

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Can we have a Robbie v Mark 'debate' on this one?

[@sweetcell8767]

After that, the only question I have is, how the hell did the John C Reilly interview go?

[@deltasceptile7805]

As an American, I feel like I have to apologize to any Brit who watches a phony version of one of their accents on screen.

[@shanemulvey4065]

"Irritating Rabbit" Classic! Mark Kermode should rename movie titles for our entertainment. His Top 10 worst movies of the Past 10 years renamed Kermode Style.

[@rossross9281]

Sorry I’m boring you! Anyway it’s rubbish 😂😂😂 best end to a review ever 👍👍👍

[@VideoNozoki]

So... there is a chance??

[@megamoviez]

I want a top 10 worst and best of 2018

[@KinOksana]

Thank God Kermode is back, I was worried

[@harryh3203]

Though the peeing scene which was broken down in the same way as the Robert Downey Jr fights were was very funny.

[@Cartoonman154]

I have heard from a few podcasts saying people just walked out. Also, i hear that netflix didn't even want it.

[@David_7171]

I’ve watched it again recently and it’s better than alot of movies made today

[@kirastus]

WTF… did not even realise that this came out. Just looking at the poster is like… oooHhhhh NOOOOOO they should not have been allowed!

[@itswormhole6124]

Genuinely the worst film I have ever seen. They can’t even sync the audio correctly.

[@blah979]

I want to see this now, but not gonna pay for it.

[@pablobustamante8458]

Very nice

[@W00DSMAN]

the sigh says it all mark. XD

[@ChildOfTheWilderness]

I don't get how someone like Rebecca Hall & John C Reilly would agree to do this nonsense

[@anjulamutanda2000]

"Lumpen".. .nuff said.

[@PK-on9vj]

I'm desperate for a Kermode take on Bandersnatch tbh

[@scarstruck85]

Has anyone here watched Holmes and Watson who love Step Brothers? just interested to hear your thoughts on this movie.

[@michaelrea8090]

I seen it wasn't as bad as they say but wasn't the greatest either, they could have left out the Scottish lady.

[@vj9021]

Should have watched the review before buying but such a fan of Sherlock Holmes stories I thought how bad... Watch Without a Clue for a much better comedy take on the character.

[@finismalorum9746]

Interesting.

[@dannyb1379]

Simon never looks like he wants to be there

[@offrampt]

Kermode is brilliant.

[@WollongongWacko]

I loved this movie

[@andersline5336]

Must admit I found it hilarious. So that's two of us!

[@thegreatburt9005]

Just saw it on Netflix, I quite enjoyed it ...... I'll get my coat...

[@bushandblair]

i'm a sherlock fan (over 30 years) .... i really enjoyed this film. john c reilly faultless..... the openning marrow scene very funny "I landed on your huge vegetable, it saved me." made me laugh out loud.

[@TheNinjaMarmot]

This is going to hurt Stan and Ollie. Heard they tried to sell it to Netflix and they said 'No!'

[@mhead4376]

2:40 - 3:10 is the exact experience I had watching The Festival

[@DanielleKingdjdinosaur]

oh dear

[@billtims3998]

Brilliant film I loved it

[@Kaisersozze]

We in american dont know what a marrow is. Or how to spell it.

[@gazmix589]

Basil Rathbone crying in heaven

[@hammerofmariotos]

Tending a Marrow?

[@stygianmarsh]

Hahahaha! This review made it even funnier

[@DBuckyBoy]

WHAT??? That's not Mark Lemarr?? :P

[@rexlongfellow]

You know your movie is garbage when even Netflix won't buy it off you.

[@DanielleKingdjdinosaur]

holmes and watson the on the buses of cinematic comedy

[@hahaha430]

Every line was over dubbed. I work in a cinema and wouldn't have watched this movie otherwise. The amount of walkouts was staggering. It's already left our cinema for a return of a star is born which I enjoyed but does great with our demographic.

[@nickd7036]

Oh thank God you're back. While you were gone, Robbie declared Step Brothers as one of the greatest comedies of the 21st century.

[@davidaraujo927]

I think he was being sarcastic... Step brothers is bad but Holmes and Watson is on another level

[@Toschez]

This review is only making me interested.

[@yungjoemighty879]

Can these damn Americans leave our beloved franchises alone

[@CousinBowling]

That's rich...

[@yungjoemighty879]

Jeroim3142 why

[@Clay3613]

@@yungjoemighty879 Plenty of American classics have been butchered by the Brits too.

[@yungjoemighty879]

Clay3613 hahahahahaha

[@BriansBrain]

Eastleigh!? Woah! I'm from Eastleigh and it's really not that nice a place :S Dear Mr Kermode would stick out like a sore thumb!

[@shanehaynes2251]

I laughed once "would you like some heroin"

[@Quint1975]

Simon Mayo really needs to let Mark have a rant at films that clearly deserves it. A Mayo sigh is clearly heard and cuts Mark off whilst he's indulging in a verbal bashing. Exercise a little patience please.

[@optimisticwhovian1726]

Yeh I usually don't care about Mayo he seems perpetually nonplussed about life in general but interfering in a review all cos he's bored is killing the entertainment for why people tune into Kermode in the first place. We certainly dome come to hear Simon sighing at life for a millionth time.

[@OdditiesandRarities]

this review makes the movie funny 😁

[@szinyk]

I wonder sometimes if these awful awful movies are made on purpose to bomb, to provide some sort of tax dodge for the studio?

[@glenndouglas8822]

Hell yeah

[@nifralo2752]

Apparently this was meant to come out 10 years ago before the Guy Ritchie Sherlock. That s why there's jokes about selfies. That s partly why it feels so dated