Horror DVDs of Mystery | Ashens

[@calmestpilot2122]

Came for the horror DVDs, stayed for Ashens roasting the hell out of his friend.

[@GmodPlusWoW]

Honestly, I kinda feel at home, since some of my coworkers can't write for beans. Sometimes their notes are perfectly legible, and at other times it looks like a combination of chicken-scratch and Sanskrit, which I genuinely can't read.

[@theatheisthammer]

😅

[@benjaminhansen2349]

As someone with not great hand writing, I was cackling the whole way through

[@user-yr3om5lx2y]

I demand more dvd openings with Steve who writes the alternate titles

[@CookingWithCows]

You mean Ptheven ?

[@warlord1873]

No he means steephven

[@warlord1873]

Or as we know him seventy-nine 3

[@Ybeetus]

I second in this demand.

[@Tillyard86]

I hope he writes Anotonyo Stella Bottom tile in one of them.

[@DarkenSeyreth]

I think we need a video where Steve writes the titles of movies and Ashens has to guess what it is.

[@grimTales1]

This could be a game for Barshens! :D

[@GeneSavage]

Steve is NEVER going through another pile of DVDs for you. 😂

[@Normonaut]

Fun fact: Dukken is norwegian for "the doll". Also, please make "Ashens reads letters from Steve" a thing.

[@jonothanthrace1530]

Does that mean Dokken also means "Doll"?

[@thomasschou4378]

Same in danish. Mor is mother in both languages as well

[@RFC3514]

It seems he names his characters the way I used to name my WoW characters. "Okay, I'll make a hunter. Ah, the name... er... let's see how you say 'hunter' in... Greek. Nah, let's try Arabic..."

[@cheezdoodle96]

​@@jonothanthrace1530 It can, yes, depending on dialect.

[@cheezdoodle96]

​​@@RFC3514 That's better than me and my mate. Our mains who have been with us since late vanilla-early TBC are a dwarf paladin named Maceholder and a dwarf hunter named Dwaarfie (the extra "A" comes from me being Norwegian, 10, and figuring that with "dwarf" being pronounced how it was - the "A" sounding like the Norwegian "Å" - you needed the double "A"s). At least my mate's name actually works _perfectly_ as a dwarven surname, funnily enough, and I've since created a backstory for Dwaarfie where his name is a nickname given by the night elves of Ashenvale, as it's become far to nostalgic and rather iconic to us to ever change it. I used to do the language thing with my pets though, when I didn't go the _Nounverber_ route.

[@ScytherDracon]

For your own sanity Ashens, don't let Steve write the script to "Turn Back".

[@ZeyTheDaemon]

If he did, I'm pretty sure it'd curse the crew and they'd all be killed by the legendary hellhound itself

[@CJJC]

But *do* let him do the title card.

[@DragonslayerProd]

Tum Peak

[@jonothanthrace1530]

Have him write a scene from the movie and the cast film it as a bonus scene on the disc! :D

[@RFC3514]

"The most cryptic script in cinema history." - The Times "Truly horrifying." - Calligraphy Crush Magazine "Finally, a cure for cancer!" - The New England Journal of Medicine

[@NmsSportscards]

More videos where Steve gets to write things for Ashens to figure out pls 😊

[@MrJans3n]

Get Steve to copy down chapters of War & Peace and have Ashens try to read them

[@shadowacadamy]

The laughter at Steve’s handwriting is contagious, it’s hard to breathe from laughing along with Ashens 😂

[@grmpf]

I could read all of Steve's other titles just fine, even the second one Ashens had to look up, but the doll one was absolutely mystifying. The reveal of what the alternate title was supposed to be was one of the most amazing moments ever on this channel. How does it say that indeed.

[@eightcoins4401]

I wonder if it had Redug Pasts as another alternate title. Scribble would be kinda close.

[@fillername6996]

I was CONVINCED the first word was "really"... So shocked it wasn't

[@HappyBeezerStudios]

and I was surprised since when IMDB rates moves in z and s

[@ncisfan1002]

Is Steve a doctor? Because that handwriting is perfect for writing prescriptions

[@HappyBeezerStudios]

could also be a mathematician

[@SirFlukealot]

Ashens has helped uncover true horror, Steve's Handwriting

[@Eyetrauma]

I was smiling already but (incredulously) “Is this high Elvish?” made me lose my mind

[@HappyBeezerStudios]

udug Parste? Sounds like a dish

[@BadgerOfTheSea]

I love a "From the Producer of" because a producer is just the guy who gets the money, makes sure everyone gets paid, and is in charge of marketing.

[@thesteelrodent1796]

more often that not, the producer ensures the movie is produced according to the studio's requirements and is done as cheaply as possible, while the executive producer is the one who paid the most to get the movie made. Either way it's completely pointless to mention them on films, because they largely have next to nothing to do with the actual production

[@graboid78]

1:51 I personally would leave off the "from the producer of Dragonball: Evolution" bit.....amazed they want credit for that film honestly

[@revenevan11]

Glad I'm not the only one who was surprised by that 😅

[@davidholden3386]

Thank you Steve, for providing the inadvertent content 😂

[@Iris_Studios]

Steve’s going to have to go to the fear clinic now to get over his anxiety around his hand writing

[@QuantumVLOG]

You need to do a bonus feature on the new DVD where Steve handwrites specific scenes of the film and the actors try act it out based on what they think he wrote, that would be hilarious

[@bradasstv]

Feel like Ashens forgot about this channel most of 2023 and now giving us a years worth of content in October... and I'm here for it! 😜 (Obviously joking, know he's been working on a movie, but wanted to show my appreciation for all the content lately 😁)

[@ImminDragon]

You called him out as failing by sending you a movie you had seen already, but he actually succeeded in sending you twelve movies you hadn't. Did not see that twist coming, which is probably better than most of the movies here could manage!

[@SuperPerry1000]

The extra movie saved him...sadly not his writing.

[@Its_Dave_Just_Dave]

Steve and his writing was the best part, i almost choked on my tea at the "melancholy" part lol

[@StevenRollason]

My too, possibly more so because I'd looked up the film while watching the video so I knew what it should have been and my brain was screaming "how the hell does that say melancholy?!"

[@jadeyxboox]

I was looking forward to obscure horror movies. I did not expect to be howling laughing at the efforts of a man named Steve. Excellent stuff 👌🏻

[@wright96d]

6:10 “Somewhere in the background there’s a million Blu-ray manufacturers screaming.” There’s also a million Blu-ray collectors screaming. It’s me. I’m screaming.

[@MedievalFolkDance]

Every time I read "Contains strong language" on the back of a DVD/Bluray, I can't help but laugh to myself thinking about the time Kenny Everett derailed TV-AM by shouting "BUM!"

[@eloquentlyemma]

Admit it: Steve is actually the doll that you carved out of ear-wax and infused your dark thoughts into through some dark demonic ritual.

[@VampireofEmotion]

Felt quite proud I could read most of Steve's writing - apart from Melancholy Fantastic aka Meluy Parstze

[@jkl3131]

Poor Steve is going to hide his handwriting for the rest of his life

[@IvanovIvanAKrutoi]

Or use it his handwriting as a weapon.

[@scottneil1187]

As he should, it's awful!.

[@GigsVT]

its ok no one watches these videos

[@MissSpooky69]

After years of working in a bookies I am proud to say I can read most of that handwriting!

[@Danziii]

I have taken two things away from this 1: There are some bad horror movies 2: Steve is an absolute maniac

[@richardsnape1630]

Ashens logic, I hate dvd cases with sleeves, then precedes to show his own release with a sleeve.

[@mmmhorsesteaks]

Steve's handwriting was the real horror here.

[@kip258]

The house on the cover of Dark Spirits appears to be a 1-story house photoshopped into a three-story mirror image of itself judging by how many doors there are

[@MrMoorkey]

'The dream holiday turns nightmare...' They usually do in Glastonbury.

[@SuperDAZBEAN]

The handwriting is the best part of this video never change Steve.

[@LeeDee5]

The confusion over the ratings and the alternate titles/handwriting was gold.

[@Alannachu]

I loved this channel as a teenager. I still love it now halfway to my thirties. These videos are top quality. The number of people who must have been here for years is an insane thing to think about. Kudos, man. Kudos.

[@smithintern-tainment7868]

Part of me kinda wishes you at least did the 20 your friend had suggested but the pure awesomeness of this video idea makes up for it

[@Wisel8]

This format was amazing. Bless you Steve

[@brianartillery]

Is your friend Steve a GP, by any chance? His handwriting says 'yes' to me.,😆😆😆 The 'Tiny slug, off it's tits on absinthe' comment is world class. My ribs hurt from laughing.

[@thedeadpoolwhochuckles.6852]

Why is everyone so surprised at Steve's hand writing? His hands are literally just rectangles, its amazing he can grip anything let alone a pen!

[@rhindlethered]

"I hate slip cases..." I *love* slipcases. Makes the movies look good on the shelf. Nice and square, like a book.

[@PixelatedH2O]

Steelbooks look even nicer

[@spicybeantofu]

Same! I left the same comment

[@Code7Unltd]

There are times where slipcase art can be different from the disc cover.

[@hyperturbotechnomike]

I love having my movies in level 5 armor titanium cases with a glow in the dark paintjob made from nuclear waste. A true classic taste from the past from the radium girls.

[@ellaisplotting]

I like them when they're in good condition as they also give a nicer texture/ dull down the shiny puckered look of the plastic DVD case which I find viscerally unpleasant.

[@Odd_Bunny]

Poor guy getting absolutely roasted after doing all this work 😂 but tbf there's no way that said melancholy fantastic, the first word didn't even have enough letters! LOL

[@leroyc88]

Fiona Dourif is Brad Dourif's daughter and she has appeared in a couple of the latest Chucky films as well as the many episodes of the Chucky TV series. I believe she was also in The Purge.

[@cheezdoodle96]

Yeah, she's lovely! There's a great documentary from last year called _Living with Chucky_ that focuses on how the films got made, how it was filming them, how it was for the people involved in it and their families to "live with Chucky"… Great stuff, and comes highly recommended if you've only the slightest of interest in _Child's Play_ or the people involved.

[@jamesoblivion]

She was so good in Dirk Gently.

[@polishenglish8356]

I absolutely loved the handwriting-related tirade :D brilliant :D

[@MrKlokwurk]

Oh nice, I love Horse Soup, Wob of the Dead, Redum Berstz and Bnolldomr.

[@jazzygeofferz]

Horse Soup sounds like the Marx Brothers decided to make a sequel.

[@SsnakeBite]

I very much enjoyed this review of Steve's handwriting, featuring horror DVDs.

[@detectivesquirrel2621]

Reminds me of two friends from school. One whose handwriting was awful and a dyslexic friend who was the only one who could read the other's handwriting

[@jamiemartin7649]

Another really obscure horror film I’ll name is “army of the dead” been years since I last saw it but as I recall some archaeologists somehow raise a bunch of skeletons in a cave and they all come out and chase them through the local area. They even wield swords, axes and shotguns. I remember it having very ‘Jason and the Argonauts’ style animation for them

[@scottneil1187]

Thought you meant the recent, terrible Zac Snyder film until I read on, seems there's more than one awful film with that title.

[@TheSmart-CasualGamer]

Oh, that sounds brilliant! Love me a skellington.

[@frostking9685]

Wow Steve hand writing is the scariest part of the video. He may be a doctor

[@Graylord88]

"Where's my telegram from the Queen!?" Oh dear, has no-one had the heart to let him know yet?

[@chrisball3778]

I think Mother's Doll got Steve when he was in the middle of writing down her alternative title.

[@emmittmorgans8076]

11:07 He's such a big horror fan that he helped Doug Walker make one of the most horrifying "films" ever...

[@dahn57]

I wondered if Steve might have been a doctor with that handwriting, but soon realized that was impossible, as I could actually read a few of the titles 😛

[@agent_230]

26:27 "is that high elvish?" Had me dying 😂

[@Mercgribern]

Kind of feel like Steve writes in language that unlocks shouts of power provided you have enough dragon souls absorbed. Also he absolutely should write the script for turn back. Can you imagine the bizzare avent garde horror that would result?

[@Taffer-King]

"from the producer of dragon ball: evolution" you know it's bad when they 're using that to try drum up interest.

[@yaboyrobin]

It's odd- a few of these do have rotten tomato scores! Fear Clinic has 19%, The House on Pine Street 35%, the dead undead 13%, fertile ground 21%, and dead souls 16%!

[@nick-playercharacter8583]

Steve actual did write those scores down, he just wrote them very flat.

[@liamh1982]

Maybe his typing is as legible as his writing.

[@corrinbielawski8035]

Looked up Fear Clinic myself, and that's just the Audience Score, though. Not the official rating. Guess that's what he went by?

[@linksavetheday]

Those are not critic ratings

[@GraySkull289]

​@@nick-playercharacter8583he wrote as 1 dimensional representations

[@Karmy.]

20:53 so it's just Say Cheese and Die from Goosebumps

[@ThePoettica1973]

Redug Parstz is a CLASSIC.

[@BeaverIAB]

Ashens publishing videos at 2, 3 o'clock in the morning is something that will forever mystify me.

[@tncorgi92]

I think the upload process can be automated, maybe he just schedules them for when he knows he won't be needing his computer for anything else.

[@ellaisplotting]

@@stonecodfish2365 he uploaded a video at nearly 5am a week or so ago, and that was UK time. Stuart does love to upload in the early morning.

[@BeaverIAB]

@@stonecodfish2365 The video was uploaded between 2-3am GMT.

[@anthonyquill3071]

​@@ellaisplottinghe's actually answered this before. The majority of his viewers are American and on the west coast so 3am in the UK And Ireland would be about 8pm over there

[@thedeadpoolwhochuckles.6852]

​@@stonecodfish2365I bet you find salted butter "Quite Spicy innit?"

[@vjpearce]

Steve's handwriting was readable to me compared to my manager's writing. He left a note last week for the staff and a group of us was trying to decipher it.

[@bladepanthera]

Literally punched the air when I figured out "breakdown". Thanks Steve!

[@Jake-nl3er]

For a second I thought you'd bought them off me. I sold off about 80% of my horror dvds on ebay in mystery boxes of 15. Half of those were ones that I'd sold from my collection. Straight heads was probably the best out of the ones I remember. Basically an English version of I spit on your grave.

[@zangl2955]

How much do you sell 15 random horror film dvds for?

[@Jake-nl3er]

@@zangl2955 it was advertised as 15 for £15, but I always put an extra one or two in incase any didn't work. I finished selling all the ones i didn't want about a year ago. I thought maybe Ashens had bought them a while back and saved them for a video, but there not mine.

[@stevehyperdriver]

Re the voice thing at the start. The Pope’s Exorcist - the demon voice is HILARIOUS.

[@DarthPerkins]

The problem is...that kid looks like the voice actor. I kept thinking it was a digitally reduced version of Andy Serkis so I kept laughing.

[@Stickeebud]

Regarding the intro, there is a serial killer that sounds like a DUCK in the Lucio Fulci film 'The New York Ripper' He doesn't always sound like a duck, I think it's only when he kills people or wants to freak them out. But still, that's a thing that exists.

[@DarthPerkins]

He's VERY close to a copyright-infringing Donald. One of the few films I found highly offensive. Then found out I had watched a cut version. Watched the uncut version and found it highly, HIGHLY offensive. Then found out there was an even more offensive version which was so highly offensive to EVERYBODY involved it was cut before release.

[@KomBackHordz]

Last time I heard ashens laugh this much was when he was trying to record the Violine video, well done, Steve.

[@spicybeantofu]

I love "slip cases" they look so nice on the self

[@brobrofog]

Two ashens videos in one week? We are truly blessed

[@JustinSawyer-ji5wm]

As a bad horror film aficionado, I have a tip: If it has "asylum" in the title, it will be hilariously bad.

[@kinnikuboneman]

Or just straight shit

[@expendableindigo9639]

Also true if it’s made by Asylum.

[@adamlewis4644]

Amicus had a portmanteau film called Asylum that was better than average.

[@scottneil1187]

Can only think of Amityville Asylum so yeah, your theory tracks. Horror film aficionado too but I don't watch cheap crap ie 90% of all horror these days.

[@peterclarke7240]

I decided to put your theory to the test, and it's true. Even films with actual budgets and big name a tors become comically shit when they have "asylum" in the title. I suspect it's due to the whole "let's set a horror film in an asylum, because mental health conditions are scary" is so creatively bankrupt that it immediately leaches out into everything the film does.

[@anthonyweston5588]

I love how steve adds a little flourish to his words when writing as if it at all is legible. Bless you steve. 😂

[@interestingoldthings4889]

The description of "Eden Lodge" sounds like a description of a Father Ted episode.

[@MegaAstroFan18]

Wouldn't that be the ultimate subversion for a horror movie? Reveal that actually yes, the wife is just crazy and there's no monster.

[@FoxNoctom]

Came for Ashens, Stayed for Steve.

[@wtfaiwpodcast]

If you're looking for a horror movie where the villain has a really inappropriate "scary" voice, as suggested in the first few seconds of this video, I'd recommend The New York Ripper (1982), where the killer makes threatening phone calls while doing a Donald Duck impression.

[@gobo6175]

That's the first thing that came mind when I heard him say that

[@dennett316]

I'll bet in The Dead Undead that the vampires only help the humans against the zombies because they need the humans for their blood, so the vamps eventually turn on the humans at the end. Just seems like the predictable twist for that concept. Poor Steve...as a fellow weird writer, I've been roasted on my child-like scrawls many a time.

[@Dopamine833]

All these horror films yet the scariest thing was Steve's handwriting

[@hurricanebtvs]

19:30 Vampires vs. Zombies from 2004 used to be one of the few DVD's Poundland sold when they first started bringing DVD's in, so I'm pretty sure you would have come across it back in the day.

[@jeebus2313]

I almost didn't watch this video but I'm glad I did just for the sheer comedy provided by Steve's handwriting. Holy shit.

[@marpinteacup6395]

New Game: Steve writes the title of a movie, but Ashen's has to decipher it and come up with a plot

[@2prize]

Steves pieces of paper were such an emotional rollercoster

[@GlassGhost428]

Steve's handwriting made this entire video

[@zoeyd9763]

It might just be because i work in the medical field and have to decifer the doctors notes but i could read Steve handwriting fine haha

[@DoctorBastard]

Oh yes? Gmafabble whakneernar pultwaff, mnit v ullzwet ho ghabahbahbah. If you can get that ready by this afternoon that'd be perfect thanks.

[@Dreamybloo101]

One of those movies you find off the bargain bin, and your grandma gets them as a Christmas gift trap

[@OptimusSledge]

As a left-handed person with atrocious handwriting (generally considered to look like the scrawl you'd get if a drunken spider stepped in some ink and then staggered across the page), I'd say Steve needs to learn there's no shame in giving up on cursive in favour of printing people can actually read. I'm so glad computers and smartphones mean I hardly ever need to actually write something with a pen now.

[@SerpentineSeiđr]

Ahhhhhh I miss the Silver Skull, I'm happy he got a mention!

[@expendableindigo9639]

30:17 You gotta love how the Twilight actress is listed far, far above The Thing. The 2000s truly were a time.

[@wyterabitt2149]

Yes the actress is listed above the actor, not the film as a concept lol Twilight was smack in the middle of it's run, at the height of it being known. Keith David was doing little to nothing of note, and hadn't for some time outside of mostly voice work in games not many will have played. There is nothing strange about this decision at all, the fact it was The Thing is what elevates his name that high to be second.

[@expendableindigo9639]

@@wyterabitt2149 we need more people that respect animation & games enough to pick up a thing because some voice actor was in it :p whether it’s a real actor or VA the cast is usually uncorrelated with the quality of the product anyway.

[@_gorezone_]

In "The New York Ripper", the killer talks with a Donald Duck voice. That's a pretty weird one lol

[@retrorocketuk]

I demand that the Turn Back DVD slip cover features a teal house and a long haired woman in a white dress

[@Caluma122]

So pleased that you have been smashing out the content Stuart. It's always good content and a pleasure to watch. Been rewatching your console extravaganza videos!

[@MusicFanatical1]

Well we know what to get Steve for Christmas: handwriting lessons.

[@hj4239]

As someone diagnosed with dysgraphia lets just say that... well Steve might want to set up an appointment

[@LovableAmy]

Steve's bad handwriting definitely was the highlight of this video. I also may check out some of those movies.

[@MarquisSmith]

Well, this certainly made me feel better about my handwriting. Happy Halloween Stu!

[@jlan7844]

20:58 That's...That's a bloody Goosebumps story plot! They ripped of freaking Goosebumps for that film!

[@wtos9153]

26:10 This is what the computer sees when you get a CAPTCHA

[@Demonthorn]

Fertile Ground is the horror film we judge all others by... we have yet to find anything worse.

[@cmdrpanorpa8631]

I was looking for Halloween movies to watch, looks like I've found a good recommendations list

[@scottneil1187]

Rather you than me, I wouldn't waste my time on any of this utter tripe.

[@DragonNexus]

Personally, I like slip cases because they look nicer on the bookshelf. Also Ashen's pronounciation of "asylum" is sending me.

[@ed3881]

Az-lum I cannot

[@FugoriHassei]

Some of my relatives like to play a game when giving gifts where they wrap the object in brown paper, write a clue about what the gift is, and you have to guess what the gift is before you're allowed to open it. Maybe Steve should do the same thing - wrap up the DVD, write a hint on the front, and Ashens has to guess what the film is based on the handwritten clue. Seriously though, I laughed so hard at Ashens losing his mind over the notes Steve left, it was so good! Thank you, Steve, you gave a bunch of strangers loads of fun!

[@indubioprokokolores6502]

That Polaroid movie sounds like they may have borrowed the premise from a Goosebumps book/episode called “Say Cheese and Die” and put in some elements from “Shutter”. Very original.

[@ScrewBallTheAlien]

To this day I had absolutely NO idea Corey Taylor and Freddy Krueger made a film together. I gotta check that one out.