How alien abductions really go

[@Taokoan]

My dad couldn't teleport either and he still managed to vanish without a trace. Never give up on your dreams

[@KhanKeal]

this comment goes hard.

[@abc-zq8yt]

💀

[@Jeffah_Iman_Kauchape]

🤜 love your comment, really good sense of humor! Made my day, cheers!

[@xoxoLuma]

maybe he could teleport, he just never told you

[@floridaman6643]

I’m done with comments 😂

[@thegreatandterrible4508]

I've known many people to go on and live rich, fulfilling lives without the ability to teleport.

[@hiimapenguin]

Lmao

[@dynashadow365]

*WhAt AbOuT oN anDrOmEdA?!?*

[@psilovecybin5940]

Poor human

[@ZachBail]

Yeah man, my ex wife couldn't teleport. She's a pilot now

[@fat.E]

Have you seen the struggles of people who adopt non-teleporters? The real heroes

[@CassidyTakanauf]

Asking for a second opinion made him sound damn intelligent.

[@hillbillypowpow]

That was the real test.

[@Stickdraw.]

That was funny as hell

[@PixlyPenguin]

I don't think the alien was that intelligent

[@vittoriobr_6271]

This is why America is in the situation it is right now

[@Aleas10301]

Actually, most of the time a second opinion is stupid and annoying for both the people giving them. It's literally just one guy confirming the others statement because they do the same shit, with the same equipment after going through same medicinal studies.

[@OrlandoTorresOfficial]

What animals see when they go to the veterinarian:

[@Lvsanimals83]

😂😅😅😂😂

[@Curious-Artist-Cat]

Lol, true

[@toxicytchanel5182]

​@@Curious-Artist-Cat EW

[@kevinmackey3166]

"And then when I got home my balls were gone."

[@VincentHurley-fi1gc]

Thats fkn funny!

[@memes1078]

Finding out you're not going to be able to teleport after never being able to teleport In the first place has to be the biggest let down

[@sydneyslaughter7163]

“There was the possibility of teleporting *before* ?!”

[@petergraphix6740]

Would kinda suck if you got taken to the alien homeworld and realized you couldn't go inside anywhere because they never had the need for doors.

[@gamers_playhouse7041]

🤣🤣🤣​@@petergraphix6740

[@rosadelrio5120]

Why is this funny 😂

[@Catthepunk]

Real

[@ChrisHolt-b4x]

"Let's get u outta that skin, don't be shy" is a terrifying sentence.

[@wolf.eye._-]

That's some Buffalo Bill shit right there.

[@trickgoblin]

@@wolf.eye._-i’ll get the lotion

[@Hashslingingslasherrrrrr]

Well to be fair they do have skin masks that are eerily realistic anyone can buy

[@Avigorus]

What I'd say in response to that: "do you mean my clothes? Humans don't molt or whatever."

[@itzruckus]

I mean I can teleport…. Every time I have a few to many drinks I some how end up out with my mates and have no idea how I got there or even worse how I got home

[@daldorian]

You never realize something is your dream till some guy in a labcoat tells you that you cant

[@anarchyandempires5452]

Yeah now imagine if you didn't have the ability to launch Kamehamehas in the Ceptum 64E45 Galaxy, I mean that would be absolutely demoralizing, i cant even imagine how somebody would feel learning that everybody except them can throw Kamehamehas around like if this was DBZ Budekai, and that they will never be able to.

[@steelbracket114]

​@@anarchyandempires5452damn...😞

[@jamesrosewell9081]

Unfortunately white men can't jump - Some Guy in a Labcoat

[@iiimaskyiii7816]

@@anarchyandempires5452what is blud waffling about

[@burritosleep]

is teleport mean reproduce

[@blakejones409]

"I want a second opinion." Bwahahaha. love the delivery.

[@jacqulineball2284]

It was good.

[@anastasis5878]

Yes 😂

[@Ditrix88]

I love that LED juggling props can pass off as alien technology

[@jamiehughes5573]

Wait, that was for juggling?

[@ZedNull.]

bring that shit back even just 100 years and your a wizard

[@lilsand.]

I think those were a flow props as well as the juggling pin. Looked like a LED Poi ball (the thing that went red).

[@lilsand.]

@@ZedNull. Current day people that are experts at flowing with a dragonstaff make me think they are wizards.

[@Crazyclay78YT]

​@@ZedNull.Good luck charging it again lol

[@Jesse__H]

Well I want a second opinion" is a genius line😂

[@pdrstudios7168]

Nah fr tho I want a second opinion too 😂😂😂 I hope this gets a pt2

[@darkskull9166]

He got so upset when he realized this.

[@a4san99]

I was giving a chuckle until that line hit. Then I laughed pretty hard 😂

[@landoncarter1254]

​@@pdrstudios7168nah fr I want a second opinion too.

[@lyrebird1088]

Yea got me rollin

[@bundiesel8472]

If aliens were chill, they could troll us so hard. 😂😂

[@multiHappyHacker]

They probably do.

[@BENOTAFRAID689]

@@multiHappyHacker "Bruh, I gave these crazy sun-cross wearing humans some of our weapons and tech, watch what they do next! Seeing human colonies fight is so awesome, hahahaha!"

[@brianmackey3949]

They troll me. Humor remains a hit or miss proposition, and it's not about me laughing.

[@Samuel-ex9pt]

They already do 😅

[@RKroese]

They've sent us Biden, didn't they... Sick burn.

[@Seedaron]

That throat tap with the "Think!" is amazing worldbuilding, especially without elaboration

[@helloes-xz3rq]

I was looking for this comment because that was actually hilarious

[@-H.I.C.-]

It was genius

[@Sandux930]

Its perfect writing

[@bonkser]

i dont get it

[@MissLokean]

​@@bonkserme either

[@connoremery9521]

That "but on Andromeda, you won't be able to teleport" line is genius because like yeah i would also be disappointed as hell if other species can suddenly teleport if they go there lmao

[@ERhymesD]

lol unfortunately it's literally just Jack who can't teleport, other humans can

[@thegametroll6264]

"Well I'd like a second opinion " 😅

[@lizaramirez-garcia5944]

Fuck yeah. Second and third opinion

[@hunterbeach9941]

Dark twist: it's from to much lead paint exposure

[@leullakew9579]

It’ll be far worse if he can’t teleport but other humans can.

[@OctagonalSquare]

“I don’t get cable” like the show he named was normal was gold

[@candlestone5397]

For all he knew it was normal.

[@DramatikNote]

He doesn't get cable so it could be to him lol

[@Samst0n]

There are so many great little visual gags in this sketch. My favorite is the alien pointing at their throat for “think!”

[@bryanbray8358]

Sameee

[@cnnr_]

Um actually, the alien is pointing at his brain...

[@Samst0n]

@@cnnr_ sorry, I should have added a clarifying parenthesis stating (because the brain is in the throat that they pointed at) just to be sure scholars like yourself don’t need to have basic comprehension of context clues.

[@DefNotANecromancer]

​@@Samst0nYeah man. We shouldn't have to use basic cognitive function smh... *Points to throat* Think!

[@tazrgoober6893]

It's never how it looks or what they whip out it's how confident they are with using it that sells it

[@kanarieV3]

to be fair finding out that humans as a species would never be able to teleport while we know other species can in the galaxy would suck a LOT

[@HermiusWyrmius-cd8zz]

I think they mean like, him specifically. Although if your assumption is correct, I doubt we’d be alone!

[@jerrykim7777]

to be fair to whom?

[@JafarSadiq-x7s]

Wars will start against aliens because we can’t teleport and they can.

[@krausercruz2780]

"a check up to see if Human still qualify as Intelligent life" I question that myself every day

[@GreenJeep1998]

Yeah, it would be difficult not to say, “ Yeah, don’t bother.”

[@anonymousapproximation8549]

Oh, we're _very_ intelligent. The real question is whether we're capable of using that intelligence for something productive.

[@krausercruz2780]

@@anonymousapproximation8549 that's a good way to put it

[@Pointlessusername-zr3jy]

A civilisation capable of travelling to another solar system might very well classify us as not intelligent

[@TheLtVoss]

​@@Pointlessusername-zr3jymhm but we classify dolphins and ravens as intelligent animal so a higher alinen civ could doo the same too us 😅

[@light819]

this has some powerful hitchhiker's guide to the universe vibes

[@ComicusFreemanius]

*Galaxy

[@raventrapcarson5812]

Thank you for correcting that

[@railworksamerica]

Fr

[@calicobagels]

Oh ye you're right (I forgot everything about that book)

[@yx_junglestar_xy]

i looooove those books!!!!!!!!!!!! especially the name of the tv show that they said. that was sooooooooo hitchhikers guide-ish!

[@sirdeadlock]

Is this the alien checkup where they ask "okay, can you see in this dimension? ... Okay, and how about this dimension?"

[@bobthespud9634]

Yes

[@w花b]

Yup. They sometimes get you to navigate non-euclidean mazes.

[@Gringle9coolguy]

The guy on lsd in the corner: I CAN SEE EVERY UNIVERSE

[@Brogon_the_10st]

Which Eldridge horror is clearer one or two?

[@hyperblitz2077]

"Dimension 1, or dimension 2?" "About the same"

[@lilithbean]

Sounds like he meant “they have teleportation tech in andromeda but due to this thing I just found in your brain you probably shouldn’t”

[@stonersquash]

Right. Thank you.

[@Jeanniebugg]

Which is why a second opinion would absolutely be warranted.

[@neptunethyplanet]

"Oh no problem, Here, Hold on to my skin for me; Please."

[@Milfamalday]

*grabs hangmail and pulls*

[@PerpetualWane]

Thats what the stitch in your balls is for, thats where the zipper starts

[@ProGoober]

Ima give a little nibble

[@sentientcardboarddumpster7900]

That's...not a quote from this clip..

[@ProGoober]

@@sentientcardboarddumpster7900 its a joke that would of been funny there

[@glossyplane542]

The writing in this is great it’s like 4 jokes a second

[@dko-JackSkalington]

same style as Smiling Friends, it works so well. No time to digest the last joke and if one doesn't land, theirs like 8 coming up.

[@atomdecay]

​@@dko-JackSkalingtonOh man, if Zach Hadel is a part of ANYTHING it's immediately a jillion times funnier. Im suddenly remembering the dancing rats when Zach goes "FUUUUUUUUCK YEAH! BA BO BAH BOBAGABBAGUH" while the rats dance.

[@bletwort2920]

What's the joke towards the end?

[@glossyplane542]

@@bletwort2920 exactly what it looks like pretty much. We all know humans can’t teleport, but the alien reveals we actually CAN, but just in andromeda. However, he examines him using that orb, and finds out that he specifically was born with a defect that makes it so that he’s unable to teleport at all, whether or not he’s in andromeda. He gets upset by this news and asks for a second opinion.

[@turtlemotonation]

“I want a second opinion” - Coldest line in all of existence 🥶🥶

[@NeuroDrags]

Cause imagine still being lame in another galaxy 😂 Atleast gimme some tech I can use to teleport 😂

[@dr4c0r3x5]

Agreed

[@warweasel2832]

@@NeuroDrags I'm guessing that it's like an allergy to whatever tech they use that prevents you from teleporting.

[@teures8651]

"Are also ugly"

[@MiaCalifornia]

​@@teures8651medic reference

[@Mungkee-di7dx]

I, too, feel moderate discomfort when a bowling pin emits a high-frequency noise at me whilst glowing blue and green.

[@15sixmedia]

I find it absolutely hilarious that when he’s screaming for the noise to stop, the alien just gives a serious and understanding nod

[@Jennajoy13]

I want this to be a series SO BADLY.

[@SwissSeiko]

it'd definitely be in the top 10 shows of the year

[@praisebetoye]

There is actually a series that follows something closely similar to this skit. The series is called, “People of Earth”. Unfortunately the series was cancelled though.

[@lourias]

Would you post the name of this movie, please? Thank you for your time.

[@SwissSeiko]

@@lourias Unfortunately, it's not a movie... just a skit:( would love to see this as an actual movie

[@lourias]

@@SwissSeiko they are very intriguing skits 😄

[@Sarnarath]

"But how do i get back to Earth?'' ''Teleportation''

[@sphong0610]

better punchline right here

[@Ssek16]

"That's the fun part. You don't."

[@IzBlitzXD]

catapult

[@omgtkseth]

So that's the joke. I have the autism and just came to read the comments to try to understand this last part.

[@somerandom6883]

Sounds about right still want a second opinion

[@Orangethemartian]

I thought he was gonna say, “Wait, you aren’t taking me back..?”

[@theblindbandit6533]

“Give it to me straight” lmao he got so serious. “I need a second opinion.”

[@eve5226]

I love everything about this lmao, the "think" while pointing to his throat 😂😂

[@EmmarainePink]

OH GOOD DETAIL!

[@trevoreggleston5815]

That's his brain not throat Jesus get it right....

[@TATPMuncher]

Shut up​@@trevoreggleston5815

[@vintage-radio]

​@@trevoreggleston5815yeah. His throat is in the top of his head. Basic anatomy

[@NealWilliams]

Did you catch when he told Dave to open his mouth and think?

[@geoscope3399]

I would also want a second opinion😂

[@AltRockEdit59]

This exam has some asmr vibe, like i legit got tingles

[@thesecretmember5448]

Same 😂

[@hippothehippo]

That punchline got me WAY harder than I was expecting

[@Jrpyify]

"Think 'ah'", a delightful throwaway joke.

[@gmansuyama]

Sad that bit wasn't included in the full video

[@tihoprskalo7719]

Where the full ​@@gmansuyama❔ 🖖🏻

[@BigSarnt]

I don't get it.

[@Acaerwen]

​@@BigSarnt we usually point to our heads when we say think, but the alien pointing to his throat would mean that his brain is in his neck, cuz alien.

[@fukpoeslaw3613]

Still don't get it ​@@Acaerwen

[@GiuseppeGaetanoSabatelli]

The second he said, "Right, on Earth, but..." it opened Pandora's Box for potential. Lmfao

[@bakerdea]

Getting some serious ASMR vibes from this.

[@olliefoxx7165]

Highly advanced alien- using a clipboard and pen....i guess the clipboard and pen are timeless and universal.

[@CorbinB-Rax]

Ball point, nonetheless.

[@boldandnew]

​@@CorbinB-Rax The clipboard and pen will always be undefeated.

[@spvillano]

Yep, chased more than a few off with just a clipboard and pen. "Name, species, planet of origin and purpose for visit and do you have any fruits or vegetables to declare?"

[@Athetos_Admech]

They probably figured that the pen and clipboard are signs of authority to humans, the abductees are more likely to cooperate with someone holding those.

[@realfake8269]

as duct tape

[@hmmmmmmmmmm..]

How the hell did I only just realise jack is sokka. Somehow you guys are even MORE underrated than I already thought you were

[@NigerianLandOwner]

from avatar?

[@alvodisco]

yeah@@NigerianLandOwner

[@NigerianLandOwner]

@@alvodisco thats crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@alphabetsoup4269]

and chris was a blue man in the blue man group!

[@NigerianLandOwner]

@@alphabetsoup4269 my mind is all over my walls and ceiling because my head just exploded from that information

[@nayannmartinelli300]

People say I walk so fast, that it's basically a form of teleportation, so take that, you silly super advanced teleporting alien!

[@RKroese]

...SILLY??...

[@fazglamgaming152]

What are you the flash?

[@NarwahlGaming]

_"Snotty beamed me twice last night."_

[@MrHeuvaladao]

Meh...

[@trybunt]

I sleep on the plane 😴 that's like teleporting

[@ericaheap]

the "think!" while pointing at the adams apple is a great touch

[@rahr0822]

“I want a second opinion “ 😂😂😂😂

[@sirennumber5248]

It's the gasp after for me 😂

[@StephenHenryIV]

Poor bugger can’t teleport…damn. Be strong.

[@TheDaneofCoosCounty]

“I want a second opinion…” Was the ONLY reasonable response to that… lmfao Edit: sometimes I get a response to a comment I made and I can’t believe I got over 2k likes in three days. Thanks everyone!!!

[@infernaldaedra]

I'd be really upset if I couldn't teleport in the Andromeda galaxy :(

[@ferst262]

Cringe edit

[@TheDaneofCoosCounty]

@@ferst262 it’s no more cringe then KZbinrs saying “like share and subscribe” at some point in their videos 🤣😂🤣😂

[@ferst262]

@@TheDaneofCoosCounty it is way more cringe, cause that helps them get more subscribers. You thanking for likes is just cringe

[@macaroon147]

No. Thanking people cause they liked your comment is cringe as hell.

[@TheGoldenApex]

I really though that would turn into a horror show😂😂😂

[@gathianigathiani1760]

absolutely hilarious. laughed so hard my neighbors think I'm not depressed anymore

[@sirchronicle]

You'll never teleport... "I want a second opinion." Classic

[@doyourbest_uwu]

That "I want a second opinion," sounds hilariously like "how dare you."

[@L4T3_]

That ”ah, think” and pointing to their neck like the brain’s there 😂

[@sanuelkessler8435]

Don't worry about it, some of my best friends can't teleport

[@ClaraDavidsonSings]

The use of LED juggling props as alien tech props is creative! I love it.

[@SchultzinatorYt]

Bro the nod at the end followed up by the statement "well, I want a second opinion." Is literally the funniest part of this entire skit

[@JustANoobAnimator]

The way this is oddly asmr...

[@jadejones6575]

“Give it to me straight” “I want a second opinion” 😂 good stuff man

[@roughwoof]

*HE PASSED THE TEST. NEVER ACCEPT ONE DOCTOR'S OPINION.*

[@jonahbutterfield5792]

Seems like a pretty chill alien honestly

[@MJGonzalez99]

Alien kid tells his mom at 9:40 PM he needs a human for class tomorrow for dissection. So that's why we always disappear at night.

[@ebasongaming]

That last line is literally my favourite line from all of your skits

[@BIBICRANE]

That second opinion line confirms he is human indeed😂😂 First Edit 640+ likes. I'm going places Mama ❤️

[@DOOMZEDAY]

Double down emotional ass shit xD

[@MarkEdwardRom]

Absolutely 💯 & challenge accepted

[@RuneKatashima]

The test was about intelligence, not if he was human.

[@nselelomlambo7158]

And not intelligent at all 😭😭

[@PatrickJohnston-m4h]

This feels like therapy

[@silentblackhole]

Loved this! So different and fresh.

[@illbus5564]

Lmao this is literally every ASMR alien abduction RP on this site

[@magentatime]

im sorry what

[@Puddlesoak]

​@@magentatime asmr alien abduction rp

[@yohanfye]

@@magentatime ASMR ALIEN ABDUCTION RP

[@dissapontinghumor1364]

that exists??????????

[@Velvet-Of-Erion]

​@@dissapontinghumor1364you guys are ridiculous this was a thing like 5 years ago, we've had murdered by octopus mummies asmr by now. Yes lol. Angelica asmr probably has the funniest video ideas just look at the titles

[@smolplantboi]

"... to see if humans qualify as intelligent life." Me: Oh absolutely not, we are stupid

[@Canoflegumes]

I want a second opinion I think is the funniest punchline possible lmao

[@jacket6139]

Being upset about not being able to teleport when he literally just found out about it is so relatable 😂

[@fletchkeilman2205]

"think ...." That was what did it for me This was gold

[@heromedley]

i love that the prospect of being able to teleport on a different planet is good enough reason for him to ask for a second opinion lmao

[@TheAnonyomusGuy]

Test passed Clearly dave has passed his intelligence test if he's asking for a second opinion

[@cellindajackson5730]

"well I want a second opinion."

[@jordan11752]

I’m glad that clipboard and pen are universal

[@WakkasLove]

This entire skit was hysterical. I loved the little "normal" checkup things the alien was looking for.

[@Malo_Rezon]

i thought he was going to say “this may be a little bit difficult to hear… ---------“ like it was actually difficult to hear 😂

[@prixswrld]

I need a whole adult swim show of this

[@SageTheYandere]

"Dave, I'm afraid you can't teleport." KILLED me. 💀

[@brendanr1525]

"I can't let you do that, Dave..."

[@panchito_1002]

“Wait, I can’t teleport? Fix it, now.”

[@luci9357]

He was fine with not teleporting until he mentioned andromeda 😂😂

[@Adamtoocool25]

Can’t teleport but can I fly😂😂😂 he should’ve said that

[@kaarlimakela3413]

VERY GOOD! If comedy teams are making a comeback, this is a great start!

[@BlankEmporium]

Andromeda? Like the whole ass galaxy?

[@YoutubeIsRetarded689]

Well not without the ability to Teleport...

[@aldeviolet1628]

Right that confused me too, how you funna teleport ON a whole galaxy

[@louisnguyen6610]

Sorry human, you won’t be able to teleport. Human: Well, I didn’t buy the teleportation DLC

[@ItsASkelley]

lemme just download a few cheats

[@yeshayavarghese350]

The delivery of the last line is PERFECT.

[@elementallobsterx]

“Well I want a second opinion” 💀

[@BlueBerry-fp4dt]

This feels like old comedy movies it's great

[@Yonkage-ik5qb]

"Give it to me straight." "You're gay." "Wait, that wasn't-"

[@jamesmonorow574]

“I want a second opinion"

[@claudiamanta1943]

‘Let’s use a little probing’.

[@kakkacarmenelectra7229]

Him tapping his neck and saying “think” is so great little detail

[@derekrobinson8027]

“….well i want a second opinion”shit had me rollin dude was like oh that’s the afterlife AND I CANT TELEPORT

[@SolidMoriarty]

This isn't the afterlife per sè but still disappointed he can't teleport

[@crazyjudean6402]

Scared of being abducted but Wanting a second opinion for not being able to teleport 😂😂😂

[@alextannenbaum9399]

I am so glad I found this channel. I am a huge fan of you both and really appreciate the time and work you put into your sketches. Easily two of the funniest people on KZbin. You guys are amazing. Also I feel like you both are just incredibly nice

[@evilcritter]

I don't know why I love this particular sketch so much, but I have to watch these shorts every time they show up.

[@onyren8194]

this implies that if we were to get to Andromeda we would be able to teleport

[@brapbrapson944]

Yes but sadly Dave won’t be able to

[@Velvet-Of-Erion]

It says that lol

[@rhysskollen6919]

"Well i want a second opinion" cracked me up

[@dstokes8484]

". . . I want a 2nd opinion." 🤣🤣🤣

[@Hunter-r9i9m]

"I want a second opinion" is the most relatable thing

[@kidpen]

Is this a physical inability to teleport, or is it illegal for him?

[@gljames24]

I think it's something about his physiology that keeps him from ysing the teleporters on Andromeda.

[@lachieslan3970]

@@gljames24*keeps him from SAFELY using them. live life on the edge >:)

[@thebighurt2495]

​@jamesgarrard8301 I like to imagine just have the ability to do that naturally... on Andromeda specifically

[@kylehenline3245]

Yes

[@Bluesonofman]

@@gljames24 Andromeda is a Galaxy

[@Vanillaflavouredcheese]

He'll still be like all the other kids minus teleportation

[@TheLikerofPie]

Amazing - love your work!

[@JAYFLOPROBEATS]

Hey I actually felt some type of way about the teleport part for myself too 😂😂

[@igneoussock2616]

This is great! A skit nobody's done before, and it's a really good one!

[@AnthonyThomas-mw9mw]

So advanced alien societies still use pen and paper.

[@tylrkozelisky6252]

My brain wants to know if it’s a genetic thing or just a Dave thing that he can’t teleport.

[@Erine120]

Head cannon is they use teleporters like in Star trek but something about his physiology prevents him from using them and only him other humans could Honestly that would make me pissed also

[@JustaZombieSharkie]

The way he said think and the. Pointed to his throat sent me. I was NOT expecting that lmao