How Do I Stop Enabling My Husband?

[@CarnivoreStork]

Cancel the cable. Cancel the WiFi. Cancel his cell phone. Open up your own cellphone account. Tell him you can no longer afford it without his help.

[@V.Hansen.]

Good one. I like it

[@littleripper312]

Actually a good idea, make things uncomfortable at the very least. One problem she's in is if she divorces him she'll probably have to pay spousal support.

[@brendamoon2660]

Exactly. Do not even buy him toilet paper. Keep one roll in your purse and the rest of the pack in the car.

[@Rccrdawgs]

He got monkey butt anyway! Lazy folks are dirty! He a walrus in bed I bet, awful

[@jovitarich7078]

@@littleripper312. He has to pay child support, otherwise he can lose his drivers license?

[@JordanRodriguez512]

It’s crazy how some men can have no shame or embarrassment about not working while having a wife and kids

[@JustActNormal]

💯

[@princekiki33]

Well she picked him, that sais alot about herself. There are consequences to our actions and she gave a bad man 2 kids smh

[@cptfreeman8966]

How do you know he feels no shame or embarrassment?

[@Nah-ah]

@@princekiki33 the same guys who say this will also complain about women only being attracted to a high value man.

[@princekiki33]

@@Nah-ah no ones complaining, get the best that you can get, the problem is when they're delusional and think they can do better than what they really can

[@sweetstorm7652]

He’s not a dummy, he know what he’s doing. He got a sweet gullible, hard working mama, I mean wife.

[@MesheherKim]

From the beginning my hubby knew I was nvr gonna pick up his slack. If he had work issues, issues with the business etc I let him figure it out. Idk why women do these things to themselves. There are always red flags before and women still go ahead and give them more than 1 kid. Like if you were terrible with 1, why would I go ahead and have number 2. Also I don’t get the desperation to be married at any cost. She was sold the fake tv reality of marriage being a bliss. Like girl take your kids and run. Women need to stop doing these things to themselves. Like I’m not blaming her 100% but the facts are that women will end up with the kids most times so it’s us to protect ourselves. Momma boys are 🤮. Ladies stop letting these men ruin your lives. For no damn reason. You suffer and the kids suffer. Marriage and kids is work work work work work and nothing to romanticize. As a married woman, I’m doing none of those ridiculous things with a man then calling in to ask someone what to do. Like you already know what to do. Stop wasting your life and making it harder than necessary for no reason 🙄.

[@michellelee487]

Sugar mama

[@terriesmith2616]

@@MesheherKim Exactly. Agreed with you 100% 💯💯💯 Spot on. Women know they'll end up with custody of the kids majority of the time, so why choose a loser to father your kids. Women need to learn to make better life decisions bc if they don't, they're the ones (and the kids) who'll end up suffering in the end. This caller RUSHED to marry him before she fully got to know him. RUSHED to have not one but TWO kids with him knowing he's lazy. Like girl, why do you go and create a 2nd child with him, knowing he's not going to hold a job. She rushed into everything when she could've taken it slow and the red flags would've shown itself.

[@ericalashan1923]

Lol!

[@drn13355]

I don't know. She is kind of calling his ass out now. I mean she gave it a little time and clearly it isn't working. I think they will be divorced by 2024. She is getting seriously sick of this. You mocking her is pathetic. She is busting her ass working two jobs and she is calling him out now.

[@taylorkroff8254]

Girl, you have two choices: go through excruciating temporary pain of divorce and then move on with your life and heal, OR suffer the way you are currently suffering for the rest of your life with this man.

[@JackyHapy]

You mean boy! This is so sad 😳

[@pamgodsoe9076]

Run away. I put my husband through 2,degrees. He has a PhD in computer engineering and doesn’t work. I work 50 hours per week and don’t have anything to retire with. 32 years and no end in sight

[@happycook6737]

​@@pamgodsoe9076 You are exactly 💯 right! These men specialize in talking a good show but in reality they want to stay home and game all day doing nothing gainful. As long as these men are allowed to mooch off of someone else they will mooch. My brother is a 1st class moocher since he was 21 years old. He is 42 now. A whole life wasted and mooching enabled by my mother.

[@sensimania]

@@pamgodsoe9076 What is the reason he doesn't work? Laziness?

[@pamgodsoe9076]

@@sensimania He has many excuses. He will not even turn on his LinkedIn profile. I was hoping for even passive looking

[@MicheleHerrmann]

I had an ex like this. He had a bachelor's, a JD and a master's in education but no ambition to advance and seriously reduce his debt. I kept waiting things out and being supportive. but when his mom told me that I needed to get a better paying job - and never getting on her son's case - I realized I had to end our relationship. He freaked out when I did. I could have become a meal ticket.

[@MIkeDye200202holla]

Did he get a job after you left him?

[@mwhe3111]

Wow...bless your heart. What an awful thing to live through.

[@NeccoWecco]

I lived that too. Glad to be free!

[@MicheleHerrmann]

@@MIkeDye200202holla I don't know. He kept calling me and I didn't want to find out.

[@nly4607]

@Michele Herrmann I see this a lot. Women don't know what their level is and find themselves in a sugar mama situation without realizing it. Unless you are pretty and under 25 as a woman you can pick a guy who is attractive, has money, OR won't cheat on you

[@amendaalmonte2236]

This is why we don’t rush into babies and marriage with a stranger.

[@Reshme77]

Yup I made that mistake

[@deirdrekiely6187]

@@Reshme77 How did that work out?

[@taintedgooch]

Yeah when she said they met during covid I'm like wtf you have 2 kids already

[@ecclairmayo4153]

​@@taintedgooch- She said they got married after 2-3 months

[@taintedgooch]

@@ecclairmayo4153 yeah crazy lol

[@YoYo_Ma]

Wow. This was me. I married a sweet loser, thought the love of a good woman would make him rise to his potential. Two kids later....I realized he was never gonna change. I walked away and he became a dead beat dad...he was a loving dad in his way but continued to be unemployed for years...almost no child support. Word to the wise: you CAN'T CHANGE A PERSON! Also...don't marry/move in with someone until you've known them for at least one year. And don't ignore red flags.

[@LisaLisaCJ]

It’s sad it takes us ladies children and a broken heart to realize the Cinderella story isn’t real life

[@rsync9490]

One? No three years at least. A man or woman can easily hide their true nature for twelve months.

[@sew_gal7340]

What was wrong with him being a stay at home dad? We are supposed to move past traditional male female roles and women are supposed to be the caretakers now

[@monikaw1369]

@@sew_gal7340 Suppose to be???? Stay at home anything is a thing of the past!

[@hansonallie]

@@monikaw1369- But I totally get stay-at-home parenting when there’s a brood of kiddos for which daycare equals if not far out paces low-skilled income…

[@santafilipina9020]

Women with low self-esteem always end up like this woman. They have no discernment or completely ignore red flags. It's maddening. My sister is in a similar situation.

[@marciabernard3820]

So true

[@cutehumor]

the best kind of woman!!

[@Justsayingthat]

I always tell my friends what I think about the guy. I wash my hands clean if things go wrong. Sometimes you need someone to point out the red flags

[@smustipher]

Amen. I had a friend who I parted ways with because she was a tad overbearing, always trying to "fix" things in my life that I didn't even regard or think of as problems, much less complain about, to her or anyone else. She got with a guy who was "too depressed" after his father paid away to work, so he lived off (and eventually burned through) the inheritance while he worked on his "art career", which he ditched a decent city job (insurance, pension, etc) to pursue. 6 years later: they are married with 3 kids, she works around the clock, he is still unemployed and no paintings sold. But she is proud because she is with "a good man". Good because he won't leave the teat? If that's good, then so be it.

[@dalidzucheredi2495]

If she had the emotional support she needed she would not be in this situation.

[@whittenaw]

I had a boyfriend who told me he wanted to be a stay at home dad should we have ever decide to have kids. I actually like that idea provided i can make enough money to support us comfortably and they handle their part well. But after having known him a while, I instinctively knew he would use it as an excuse to be even lazier than he already was. I saw my life flash before my eyes of working, cleaning, taking care of him and the kids and was like no thanks.

[@2_572]

Like Olga Helga's sister and Olga's husband saying hey I am going to be the astronaut to go to "mars" fucking disturbing 😬😬😱

[@LisaLisaCJ]

I’m sorry I just never subscribed to the stay at home dad.

[@whittenaw]

@@LisaLisaCJ that's okay. It's your choice :)

[@whittenaw]

@@2_572 i have no idea what you're talking about lol

[@racpatrice]

Good girl! He's a dusty!

[@bettysmith4527]

I was dating a guy I met online, thought it was going ok, and then one night while we were out to dinner, about the 5th date or so he says " I need to find a woman like you that makes a good income, so that I can just have my own small business from home paint motorcycles". Needless to say that was our last date, I was like BYEEEEEEEEEEE!

[@YoYo_Ma]

Way to go for seeing the red flag and acting accordingly!

[@mwhe3111]

😨 Well done, girl!

[@amybouchard]

It’s nice when they tell you they want to use you. I’ve experienced this several times on dates as well. It’s a huge red flag! Ladies, listen.

[@bettysmith4527]

@@amybouchard Yup, same thing when a guy your dating says, you can date him if you are up for the challenge! That is a HUGE red flag, found that out a couple times! Next Time a guy says that to me I am gonna respond with "I'm not so byeeeeee!"

[@d.c.d.8985]

@@bettysmith4527”With that being said, ummm byeeeeeeeeee”

[@carolflower8015]

I kicked a bludging boyfriend out after several warnings - he turned up at midnight knocking on my window begging to be let in - he was cold he was hungry he had nowhere to go - of course I felt sorry for him but I didn't budge and he's still alive and annoying other women now lol

[@cutehumor]

bludging ain't easy!! it's hard work 😜

[@jeromehenry4484]

Showing up at midnight knocking on window? You dodged a resource vampire!

[@littlesongbird1]

Had an ex like that. showed up complaining about his dad and after her complained about doing housework while I worked two jobs he agreed to work if the chores would be 50/50. When he got his first paycheck I held out my hand and told him what he owed me for half of the rent/food/bills and he threw a fit so my land lord through him out since he wasn't on the lease (and as my land lord said he was pissed at seeing me work my butt off). His own father called me a few days later and told me he heard what happened and to save his number and told me, "He shows up again, I don't care what he tells you don't take him back. You call me and I will drag his ungrateful butt home and tell him to man up!"

[@deirdrekiely6187]

Good for you, Carol!! Smart woman!!

[@Matt-cr4vv]

This made me cackle I’m not gonna lie

[@cruiseny26]

I dated a guy like this. He knows exactly what he’s doing. My ex wanted to be a stay at home dad but not do the stay at home parent duty. Didn’t want to lift a finger while living in my home, not working or paying any bills or contributing to house or children. You’re better off alone than carrying dead weight.

[@annea6288]

You are so right. Life became so much better for me when I left my lazy husband 14 years ago. I had no grain of respect left for him anymore. He was just that big third child that I kept feeding.

[@MyCatsChannel841]

Why did you put up with that tho my gosh you get what you allow in life 🤦‍♀️

[@annea6288]

@@MyCatsChannel841 yeah, that was probably a life lesson I had to learn. You kinda grow up with an abusive mum who tells you constantly that you don't deserve any better. Low self esteem... those men prey on that.

[@catherinewilke5583]

Yep, I should have divorced my freeloader ex a decade before I did. He tells everyone what an awesome stay at home parent he was. He barely kept the kids alive, never lifted a finger around the house. Just got back from a cruise, paid for by his mommy, on which his not very long term not very smart gf was along for the trip with my precious babies. She may or may not figure it out. He’s trolling for a new sugar mama.

[@maahiahmed4583]

not your home sweetie

[@katiefountain2407]

There's no way I'm going to be the breeder and the breadwinner.. Some folks have absolutely no shame.

[@tonytoni1150]

My step mother was like that. Some women love the chaos, I think that’s why she stayed with my dad. Chaos is exciting to some women.

[@saregama-r8td]

@@tonytoni1150 Your dad sounds like a loser.

[@AletaBoyette]

I was breeder, but NOT breadwinner. I took care of my Son and myself.

[@ineedhoez]

😂😂😂😂

[@zeldazoom4415]

Been there done that! One day I woke up and realized that he was never going to change. If I continue on with this relation I will not move in a positive direction with my life. He will be my anchor. It took several months to finally tell him to leave and I was mentally prepared for all of the drama that followed. He did everything to get back to me, called my family, he was loving and sent me flowers as well as being very angry. I kept saying to myself "BE STRONG - DON'T FALL FOR ANY OF THIS" It broke my heart to see him. 5 years later I ran into him at a gas station. He was broke and broken. He begged me to take him back. I said I am sorry it is over. Then went home and cried, because seeing him down and out hurt me too, 50 years later I know that my life is better for not keeping him in my life. You are a strong lady and deserve the best that life has to offer. Do not settle for anything less than that.

[@gastogether4ever]

I literally cannot imagine marrying someone like this. I haven’t found my husband yet but one of the most attractive things to me is a man with drive, ambition, and a desire to work and provide.

[@dalidzucheredi2495]

They can fake it. Mine keeps building castles in the air. He appears busy and upset like he is really going somewhere. There is no results, no money Nobody else thinks he is working except him. Sounds serious in family meetings. Like a very good actor who nobody pays.

[@gastogether4ever]

@@dalidzucheredi2495 it’s scary how deceiving people can be 😩

[@jtlegionnaire6310]

crazy how many women pursue the opposite, and then wonder why their men never get anything done!

[@seekingthemiddleway4048]

What if he has that till you marry him and then changes? This is what happens.

[@hammypie]

Let me rephrase that for you: “One of the most attractive things to me is a man with $, $$, and $$$.”

[@tspencer661]

Leave. Even if you aren’t ready for divorce, leave. My ex was a “stay at home” dad. He didn’t have a job the last two years of our marriage. What did he do while I was working? He was playing video games, watching adult movies, and getting high. I left five years ago. One of the best decisions of my life. I paid him spousal support for nine months. He went back to s and has a job. His parents supported him. That’s their problem, not mine.

[@Matt-cr4vv]

Spousal support sucks especially when it’s because someone is a lazy man child like this guy. But if you’re taking care of the overgrown child who you have to pay all the bills for anyways it seems like that’s almost a zero sum game but at least you don’t have to see the man child every day mooching off of you.

[@catherinewilke5583]

Ugh the spousal support was one of the most infuriating things about the divorce. So glad that’s over. We deserve better, friend 😎

[@maylynbayani]

When I started dating my now husband, he lost his job after a year of dating. He studied for his board exam and when he didn't pass, he had depression and for a whole year became unemployed. I spoke to him that I would break up with him if he didn't sort his life out. Failure is inevitable but giving up is not an option. He had a job within 2 weeks, eventually passed his board exam. I also insisted he specialize in Dialysis and he now works as a renal nurse. Real men overcomes when given a task. I cannot imagine being married to someone who refuses to work.

[@PostMillMan]

Real men don’t submit to their girlfriend on career choices … real men call that guy a dummy

[@BanjoPixelSnack]

@@PostMillManAgreed. I wouldn’t be able to respect a man that allowed me to boss him around like this.

[@BelenAntonia1004]

you both wrong. a real man listens to ANY woman when she's making sense.

[@PostMillMan]

@@BelenAntonia1004 come on dude, you don't know what a real man is

[@ineedhoez]

Bingo!!! Also... depression sets in when you stop moving. So glad that you didn't coddle him and let spiral. Tough love!!!

[@JoleneWILLIAMSON-c2p]

Before I met my late husband... Had a friend who stayed with me. I found GED classes. He would not go. No call. No show. No job at a Wendy's. Ate two weeks worth of food in 4 days. Stole my car. Tried to gaslight me. Showed photo radar of him driving my car 45 in a 15 school zone. He had no driver's license. I found out he would play video games for hours on end. Would not switch SSDI from mom to me. Finally I wised up and kicked him out to live with his mom. Opened the door to my husband. A real man.❤❤❤❤😊😊😊😊

[@Daily_Walk_]

Boils my blood as a husband and dad.. heartbreaking for her

[@deirdrekiely6187]

Agree ..... but she lets him get away with it by nagging and not making REAL consequences.

[@JGSH13]

She chose him

[@seekingthemiddleway4048]

He had a business before I married him and closed it down right after. We had 3 kids. After years of verbal abuse and him not working, I thought I don't want him to be 60 and for this to still be going on. I said study for a career or you're out. He wanted pocket money; I gave it to him to save our marriage. When he came home one day with a new car I went to check if he'd registered as a student and discovered he hadn't, and had used his study money for the flashy car. He'd thought I was joking about divorcing him - big mistake. Now, decades on, he IS 60...and he's never worked, scrounged off women all his life and is currently living with another hard-working woman. He's an embarrassment to his kids.

[@coreyfranco7060]

Why does it matter if roles are reversed for once?

[@seekingthemiddleway4048]

@@coreyfranco7060 Who said roles were reversed? He was and is a gym rat. He didn't even collect the kids from school let alone housework. Simply refused. The same is true of this girl's husband.

[@rsync9490]

@@coreyfranco7060 Its shameful and disgusting behavior when a man acts like a kept consort(I say consort because it sounds offensive to say woman). Historically men who acted this way became disposable slaves.

[@coreyfranco7060]

@@rsync9490 I agree with you but unfortunately the majority does not...

[@cl5193]

@@coreyfranco7060 You have a messed up idea of marital roles. Marriage is not about one leaching off the other.

[@TheGoodPlaceMusicandCrafts]

My 1st marriage was with a “mom’s boy”, and I remember when we were a year or so in marriage HIS MOM pushed me gently on the side and told me “I just want to make sure you are not making him do house chores…” 😂 To just add, when I divorced him, I was single 4 years (dated wrong people), and finally met a guy who likes to be a partner. He helps me, just as I help him. We share chores and I’m much happier. I was even able to get my BA degree in 40s because I have support and energy (1st husband, that mom’s boy didn’t let me go to school).

[@wendybryan6071]

You should have told the mom that it was her job to raise a fully functioning partner to his wife, not a pampered, insecure child more interested in pleasing his mother than supporting his wife.

[@seekittycat]

When men think being a stay at home dad with the kids means watching TV with a beer and waiting for you to get home to do homework / driving to clubs/ doctor's appointments/ bills/ food/ checking in with kids/cleaning /laundry /bathtime /bedtime.

[@MyCatsChannel841]

This

[@TinaAIStoryWorld]

My dad was like that, he never worked since I was 6, my mom was the one had to work and pay everything, and also deal with his emotional issues, I am 37 now, and I am afraid of marriage because I don't want a useless man sleeping next to me, this is a main fear I need to overcome in my dating life ,if I want to get married.

[@LisaLisaCJ]

But you know what a useless man looks like and you have the tools not to choose that. Your mother chose that life

[@TinaAIStoryWorld]

@@LisaLisaCJ Thank you for your kind words! I would choose my life!

[@dyates6380]

Nothing wrong with staying single forever if you don't want kids. In fact, with the legal ramifications that come along with being married, I'd advise against it. I was married for nine years and divorced thirty years ago this year. I never remarried, partly due to the ridiculous costs involved and literally going broke because my ex wife decided to cheat but I was ordered to pay for everything - tends to sour someone on the whole "institution" - and that was one of the best conscious decisions I ever made. It took me several years to recover and it wasn't easy, but I never looked back and would never even consider putting myself in that position again. I dated several women since then and am with one now for seventeen years. We live in her house, rent mine out, have our own money and live like married people but aren't, and it's perfect and happy. ZERO money talk as everything is split and we both have much more financially than we ever will need. Again, in my opinion, UNLESS children are involved, marriage is way overrated.

[@leadfootlee4332]

The question that need to be asked is "what was so attractive about this man that you decided to have 2 kids with him?"

[@cbyt8759]

And marry him after 3-4 months! She may have her own issues prior to this marriage that would benefit her to process with a therapist that led her to get married this way to this person

[@Justsayingthat]

She thought she snagged herself a good one… until you realize it was a facade

[@ineedhoez]

Right? Like wtf? She is stupid.

[@susanfudge1737]

She met, married and had 2 kids since covid?

[@Ryan-wx1bi]

He's probably extremely attractive.

[@Zumcho]

I've known tons of women who "keep" their men. It's a lot more common than one would think.

[@drjlrust]

I wonder if the women are happy to support them, or if they'd like the men to get a job.

[@Zumcho]

@drjlrust I dont think so. My mom has been supporting her husband for decades. I don't think she's happy, but she's too proud to admit it.

[@ineedhoez]

Aint no damn way. I would just marry a woman.

[@blessed_one_]

🤮

[@melmel7011]

@@Zumcho how do you get aroused by such a man, I couldnt

[@bethford6884]

Sadly, this marriage is not going to make it. I feel so bad for her. That old saying "marry in haste, repent at leisure".

[@migalorsdarwin1930]

Why did she even marry him in the first place, let alone having 2 kids.........

[@bettysmith4527]

Why wold you feel bad for her? She married a man child and made that decision in THREE MONTHS, and then stupidly had kids with him, she is the cause of her own pain!

[@JayP-kd5rc]

@@bettysmith4527 Yes she is. But she can learn and correct it.

[@paolaristori6179]

I can understand many mistakes in this bad situation from her side but not the second child. This is not responsible parenthood. He is simply irresponsible.

[@paolaristori6179]

@@JayP-kd5rc but the two kids cannot. And that is the main problem.

[@bluecat2741]

I also had been married to such a guy. It was such a relief after I finally divorced him. Suddenly the house looked so tidy and my bank account wasn't maxed out all the time. And no more chasing my lazy husband with doing the laundry ect.

[@kylaallen822]

I lived with that for 14 years and 5 children before I saw the light. I surely hope this lovely young lady finds her freedom from this and a brighter future!

[@deirdrekiely6187]

Why would you have FIVE kids with a man who is a child and a loser? Don't women have standards anymore??

[@catherinewilke5583]

I did 6 kids and almost 30 years, it only gets worse. This lady needs to cut and run. I should have divorced in the first year of marriage, but my mom was unsupportive.

[@dentond4913]

I am disabled and probably should be on disability but I can’t imagine sitting at home all day. I’d probably lose my mind which is why I work over 40 hours a week. it’s so good for my mental health.

[@georgewagner7787]

You're not actually disabled legally then though

[@dentond4913]

@@georgewagner7787 legally yes but I think I had a bad attorney last time I tried to appeal it but it is what it is

[@molly5262]

If you can still work, you are NOT disabled. Disability is only for those who are unable to work. Too many people take advantage of that & sit at home on their a** instead of working when they’re absolutely able to.

[@racheltarentino3314]

​@@georgewagner7787 not how that works

[@orangesplaylist]

I dont know how you could comfortably fall asleep at night next to your spouse, knowing they're carrying the burden of keeping the entire family afloat alone. Something's wrong with that guy's integrity, or clearly lack there of

[@blueseptember2174]

@@jill9606 they are doing all the childcare and home keep. Do you know how expensive daycare is? Stay home mom is a job.

[@blueseptember2174]

@@jill9606 most moms that stay at home do so until the youngest goes to school then finds part time employment to be off for sick kids and school breaks. Some moms stay home forever because they homeschool or their partner can afford for them too. Stay at home parenting is draining mentally and not for everyone. But it is tremendous work that would be hired put otherwise. Such a respectable job, we should proud of these person that are caring for their children.

[@paintitblack9712]

@@jill9606 stay at home= work in the household loser, this man isn't doing any of that🤣

[@JayP-kd5rc]

He doesn't have any integrity..

[@JayP-kd5rc]

@@jill9606 Lots of people can afford for the wife to stay home, and lots of dads want them to. That is very different.

[@LminorH1990]

Yep, this shows how there’s a huge difference between a stay at home dad and a deadbeat dad.

[@andreagodwin2069]

You get 100% of what you allow.

[@natashadame4397]

Preach.

[@leticiavasquezvillegas4802]

Absolutely 💯

[@ineedhoez]

Amen!!!!

[@sarahtaavetti]

Sadly, more often than not women are still taught that we need to be more understanding. That we need to worker harder to make it work. That we have to give up our needs just in order to please and save a relationship. But a relationship is not equal if one person is pulling the cart while the other enjoys the scenery. And as an empathetic person I always try to see the best in people, especially in the people I love. I understand the struggle, their pain. But I had to learn that simply because we love someone or understand them, we should never take responsibilty for THEIR action. You can offer help, they need to change and step up on their own.

[@dlogs9778]

Well said.

[@andrewlikestodraw]

I agree, this was very well said and a very hard lesson to learn for some. For many, sadly, including myself.

[@Erica-wz8yv]

Good lord, this girl made a huge mistake marrying him and having kids. He’s her 3rd child at this point.

[@ShowMeStateMomma]

Turn off the internet when u leave !!! I guarantee you he will start wanting to get out of the house. Letting someone do all the work, while your needs are not being met, thats a form of emotional abuse. Look at it that way , choose not to allow it ❤

[@bettysmith4527]

That's a good idea actually, since she pays the bills she should shut off the internet, cable, and any TV subscriptions, and stop paying for his cell phone.... sounds a lot like parenting!

[@cutehumor]

internet has been a boon for my life. I literally can stay online everyday. I'm so glad the internet wasn't around when I was in school, I probably would have dropped out of school

[@paintitblack9712]

‼️

[@mwhe3111]

HAHA! I love it!

[@georgewagner7787]

What does boon mean?

[@mle011]

He “doesn’t like in-person conversations”?? Omg. You can’t even communicate face to face with your own husband? Leave him!! He is dead weight!! This is embarrassing.

[@theresa78201]

That floored me.

[@tcurry1531]

I left my first husband because he would never make a decision or take responsibility for anything. We had a checking account with both of our names on it but instead of asking me for the checking account or going to the bank he would borrow money from his mom and then she would call me on payday and tell me she had loaned him money. We had a discussion about it and I told him to tell me he needs money or write a check but not to go to his mommy for money and embarrass me when she came to collect. A few more times of that and I left. We both had decent jobs and our combined income so there was no excuse for what he was doing. I paid for the divorce, gave him my car because I let him take it when he left and he rolled it, but it was still driveable. I signed it over to him and told him I was not going to keep paying insurance on it. I was done at 22 years old.

[@nailahdawkins]

You married a man child. Idk why people get married young! Good thing you got out when you did

[@AletaBoyette]

Got smart early on

[@The-Oneness11]

My late husband was like that. It was both due to his overprotective mother and alcohol/drug abuse. Eventually he overdosed and passed away. I do feel bad because I think I enabled him by taking care of him. I am glad this woman is figuring this out early in the marriage because it is easier to solve now. John gave really great advice.

[@cl5193]

You didn't enable him. It's not your fault he killed himself. He started that path long before you. I know because my son is an alcoholic, hasn't had a job in a couple of years, and his wife supports the family. He is killing himself. He would be killing himself with or without her. The dynamics that started his alcoholism had nothing to do with her. It never does. Your only responsibility is to look for signs so that you don't repeat that again.

[@The-Oneness11]

@@cl5193 Your right. The reasons my husband did drugs and drank alcohol were from traumas that he experienced before I knew him. Thank you for taking the time to help me realize that. Also I hope your son and everyone involved can get the healing needed to improve the situation.

[@deirdrekiely6187]

Don't date momma's boys with addictions!!! How many red flags does a woman need??

[@incognito1427]

​@@The-Oneness11not so early, as she has 2 kids now.

[@calebburghardt3391]

It was already bad enough but when she said he doesn’t like in person conversations…about their marriage. Dude is an absolute embarrassment to men and I hope she leaves.

[@a.h.6461]

Mine didn‘t want to talk at all. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@raychelward5201]

This was my life for 5 years with my daughters father. I ended up making him leave and not letting him come back. Now every chance he gets he tries to make my life miserable. All so he doesn't have to pay child support. He's got to go. The end, don't pass go, don't collect $200.

[@dyates6380]

Never have out of wedlock children. NEVER EVER. Ever. I'm sorry he's such an ass to you, by the way.

[@MsDezB1]

What's up with some of these "men", lol? My ex got excited when he found out that I'm a responsible adult who could "take care of business." No, he wanted me to take care of HIM! He thought he was gonna move in with me. I later found out that he had a history of moving in with women. He also had no issues asking me for money. I remember breaking up with him and him saying, "everyone who's supposed to take care of me leaves me." Bruh, you're FIFTY. NO ONE's supposed to TAKE CARE OF YOU!

[@MyCatsChannel841]

Extactly

[@phemery1182]

I am on my 31st year with same type of 7th grader/Momma's boy....it doesn't get better, gets worse, they don't change. She is also responsible, thinking she is somehow helping him to find himself/be an adult, sounds like an over-functioning co-dependent partner. She will regret this if she does not take action and he may become very resentful and hateful of her ironically because of what she is doing to enable/help him. Horrible dynamic and detrimental to kids witnessing this. She WILL begin to question her sanity and existence. WILL NOT GET BETTER AS IS. Mommy will always side with her son and he will always gravitate toward that. Save yourself and kids please!! Stop being so "nice" & caring so much about him..he doesn't. He is doing exactly what he wants to do. John was 100% right, trust me!!

[@carolflower8015]

Why would you live with such a total loser for 31 years? You're as bad as he is and shouldn't be giving anyone advice

[@David-wo9un]

It’s sad you refer to your husband in such negative terms; it can’t be all bad if you have gone 31 years and no plan to get out. He must not be a complete loser or you would have left him.

[@Jane5720]

Why did you stay

[@backtoasimplelife]

@@David-wo9un That's an abusive religion that does not "allow" you to escape abuse.

[@MichaelJones-rn2pq]

@Bok Choy Which religions would those be? This is from the Bible: "If anyone does not take care of his own relatives, especially his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."

[@Kyvax]

My ex was like this and had no direction or ambition for himself. He always expected me to pick up the tab and when I had enough and left him, he asked me, “how am I supposed to pay the rent? What am I supposed to do?” My response: figure it the f- out. You’re 30 years old, you f-. So happy he’s out of my life FOREVER.

[@luannkelly5071]

My ex turned out to be a man child too. And his mom was always inserting herself into our issues. She needs to be strong and do a legal separation, then divorce.

[@Bucephalus84]

Why is there such a double standard 🤔. And why wouldn't you just recommend counseling? People on the internet are showing why the home is broken..... Divorce is selfish if you have kids and getting a divorce only makes more problems for them such as; suicide, depression, incarceration, addiction ect. You are literally recommending the worst circumstance.

[@YoYo_Ma]

@oopsey poopsey she's tried and he isn't willing or able to step up. I left my husband when my kids were 3 and 5...it was hard. But they are healthy adults now...better to come from a broken home than to live in one.

[@JayP-kd5rc]

@@Bucephalus84 So what would you have her do:? If he was responsible, and if he loved her and his kids, he would want to take care of them. Counseling won't change who he is. He doesn't care bout her or his kids. Only himself. She needs to think of herself and the kids. LEAVE HIM! YOU CAN DO SO MUCH BETTER!

[@nly4607]

@Jay P she can't do better lol If she could have done better she wouldn't have married a bum ha A single mom of 2 with a loser baby daddy who cuts hair is more likely to attract guys looking to molest her kids than commit to her

[@littlesongbird1]

Yep..i had a man child too..I kicked him out and his dad called me a few days after when he got wind of what happened and told me to save his number and told me, "If my good for nothing shows up again don't let him and just call me and I will drag his ungrateful lazy butt home and make him get a job."

[@melissam7067]

I had a 2 month covid romance, with him moving into my place after a few weeks (due to other circumstances). I asked him to leave a few months later...and to be fair he was planning to leave to move to another state for a job. But I was close to 50. If i'd been in my 20s like this lady and possibly feeling pressure to be in a relationship like everyone else i might have ended up like her.

[@JustBree716]

Just curious what makes a woman want a man to move in with her?

[@melissam7067]

@@JustBree716 in this case it was an emergency housing issue-so i asked him to come stay until other arrangements could be made.

[@dyates6380]

Glad he left. I worked with someone who was older, as in her late forties and early to mid fifties and on a few occasions, for God knows why, she let men she started dating move in with her. They were all pathetic losers who couldn't hold jobs and always had no where to go after losing apartments. Personally, I don't understand how an adult can even let that happen to themselves. Don't get me wrong, she wasn't a loose type but a good hearted soul and felt sorry for them. She didn't quite get the "subtle" questions or suggestions as to WHY, WHY, a grown MAN in that age range (or any adult age range) would need to move in with a woman? Talk about a sad sack the man had to be. She finally got "over" that stage and has a happy life by herself.

[@SherryEllesson]

I agree 100% with John. This man/child isn't doing what he needs to. Nina needs to lay out the rules for her life. She needs to stop trying to rescue this child.

[@ArizonaAkinTv]

Remember gentlemen, you can lose money chasing women, you won’t lose women chasing money! Focus! Get your finances together to provide a good life for your family!

[@kevinleddy5691]

It kills me that a man without a job can find a women and get married, and I who work quite a lot and make OK money can’t find a girlfriend. Wth. Lol I do pray for her though. That situation sucks.

[@happycook6737]

Go see a female counselor and have them give you some support. Ask what you need to do to find a life partner.

[@marysaltlife1427]

Kevin, don't worry, it will happen. You may not have a girlfriend because you haven't met who qualifies or who's good enough. It'll happen when Mrs. Right comes along. Just keep focusing on being the best you can and have patience.

[@sew_gal7340]

Those other guys probably have good genes, if henry cavill did nothing i would still work 2 jobs to support him because he is so ridiculously good looking and my kids would be gorgeous lol

[@sblijheid]

He probably is good looking and has a lot of talk in his mouth. The latter means a lot. I see guys who seem nice but don't seem to be able to start a conversation with a woman. I don't care if I notice the desire. If you cannot talk I nod and keep it moving.

[@sblijheid]

@Sew_Gal I don't care how cute he is, if he doesn't do his part, he's history.

[@erismana2105]

Some dead beat dads dont always leave the family..

[@maam-yj8ph]

I have always wondered how many men actually want to be fathers/full-time parents/full-time providers.

[@Justsayingthat]

@@maam-yj8ph that still requires doing something in the home…

[@ineedhoez]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@joepfeiler5911]

I have a nephew who need alcohol abuse treatment several years ago when he had 4 young children. After his wife kicked him out, he realized what he had to do. She put her foot down and said what he had to do to come back. With the support of his family, he went to inpatient treatment and is doing good back with his wife and children now.

[@brightpage1020]

She’s already a single mom. What does she need another mouth to feed for? He doesn’t work outside of the home or in it? He doesn’t deserve to be there. He hasn’t earned it. Those kids need more than a deadbeat to look up to. He has somewhere else to stay: his 1st mom’s house. Wife can change the locks the next time he’s “at mommy’s” because I bet he helps his mom with anything she needs. Now that he’s got time to burn since this wife is supporting him and their babies. Nobody wants to be married to another baby when they have 2 already. That’s the opposite of hot. A man protects and a man provides. Any gent who doesn’t isn’t a grown up yet and isn’t capable or willing, not even for his own family that he generated. That came from him. How cold does one get to be to your family’s needs and still get to stay in the family? This man might be a coercive controller, an emotional abuser or covert narcissist. She owes it to those babies to clear their lives of this as much as possible. To continue to illustrate the mature model those kids require by editing folks from their daily life who don’t contribute to their well-being.

[@whitneyw.7919]

She has another mouth to feed because fathers are important

[@Bucephalus84]

Congratulations 🎊 being raised solely by a mother will make those kids more likely to go to prison, commit suicide or become drug addicts ect. Kids need both parents and if you don't believe me, look at statistics.

[@JayP-kd5rc]

@@whitneyw.7919 You have to be kidding! This father and what he is showing his kids is not important. Find a good man who will be a good role model, or these kids will grow up to be losers like their fATHER.

[@JayP-kd5rc]

@@Bucephalus84 No, they do not need both parents when one is not even a grown-up. That is what they will learn. They will be the same. Some parents they are better off without.

[@melmel7011]

@@Bucephalus84 you sound like a loser yourself.

[@BMAN1able]

She is part of the problem.. making him to comfortable.. I hope they work I out for the kids sake and their own 🙏🏼

[@ithinkigottalent4047]

Bless her heart. She's gullible and he knows it.

[@SandraStachowiczLtd]

This husband is not an asset, he's a liability

[@tonytoni1150]

Oh wow, how’d you guess that??

[@juliemcgugan1244]

If the wife were involved in an accident, which put her out of work even temporarily (God forbid permanently,) then what exactly would they do to raise their two children? He has no work history, no establishment in any particular field, no desire to go out and learn what his passion may be, no compulsion to help with his children around the house or upkeep the household…what happens when you minus her salary and workplace insurance from that equation and add a wife that may need intensive care (at home or in a specialist facility?) I know she says nothing about her insurance, private or workplace, but if she even has that to cover her time in hospital/rehab, who will take care of the rent, the children’s care, the utility bills, putting food on the table, the costs of running a car? That is why a spouse of either gender becomes a liability, when the other is unable to work even temporarily for medical reasons, but the spouse in question has no job history, qualifications, or even just passion to go out and look for a job. It can mean missing so many payments on a mortgage that you’ve spent the majority of your marriage investing in and having the home taken back by the bank. It is all certainly much more that this woman’s Mother in Law will be able to help cover.

[@devilsoffspring5519]

But when the roles are reversed, it's normal and expected?

[@leandramcphatter8957]

Whooo wee. I was tense this ENTIRE video because this WAS pretty much my ex. Instead of having people in my ear who were looking for my best interest, I had people who were looking to keep me functioning, by whatever means necessary. They will tell me to stay in the situation, and pray it out. One of the best decisions I ever made was leaving him, and not only am I living my dreams, am I bank account is great, but I’ve also found a very nice guy that I’m cultivating things with, who is the anthesis of my experiences. My heart really breaks for her, and I hope she makes the right decisions. Good boundaries, as well as understanding your needs in your value always keeps you from situations like these, and admittedly, I didn’t have any of that when I’ve married my ex. ❤

[@cjk4540]

This kind of stuff comes up before people get married and they ignore it

[@MyCatsChannel841]

They do 💯 than cry later 🤦‍♀️accountability

[@nancyt6895]

"He doesn't like to have conversations in person." Ummm...

[@CrystalM1917]

🫠

[@elizabetha8565]

She really is mom number 2.

[@leticiavasquezvillegas4802]

He never left being a teenager!

[@theresa78201]

That floored me.

[@kalleyminnick14]

I wish they would expound on who is watching the kids or keeping the house. Even if he’s not good at it yet, it seems like they both jumped into a life they weren’t ready for yet. Having 2 babies is no joke and both SAHM and SAHD job is definitely that, a job. I don’t understand how he’s able to do nothing if the kids are there… are they? Please let us know the kids are taken care of.

[@jmastaice]

Seriously! A job at McDonalds would not even cover the cost of child care. I’m honestly at a loss at how this doesn’t describe most new stay at home moms?

[@queenwhatever5217]

@@jmastaice Most new stay at home moms do the majority of the housework and child rearing. The caller’s husband doesn’t. She explained that she would be okay with him being a SAHD. When she tried to discuss it with him, he refused to actually take on the responsibilities of being a SAHD. It’s not that he’s not good at it, it’s that he doesn’t want to do it or contribute financially either.

[@ethan4048]

My girl would simply poison me if I did that 😂

[@ethanspencer4115]

Real men work hard and contribute, he doesn’t have to provide but he has to pull his weight. Every dynamic is different but contribution has to be the one consistency.

[@overworked123]

Start focusing on nurturing the two little ones and not your husband. Don't get your validation from how much you give him. In your heart you know this is all backward, so follow that intuition. Another woman advising in a similar situation said to get to the point where you can rent a new place, move in with your kiddos, and leave him to fend for himself.

[@bethanyg153]

Delony you ask a tremendous volume of leading questions. I’d be interested in hearing your show with more open-ended questioning.

[@SandraStachowiczLtd]

Then start your own and see if you can do better

[@stephaniegonzales761]

There is something soooo repulsive about lazy men. My dad was such a hard worker and so is ny husband. If my mom husband become lazy I would be so grossed out

[@kristinrichmond8185]

Listen, I have empathy for her because she married a deadman guy. However she CHOSE him. What is in her that told her that was acceptable? She needs at the very least serious self reflection and maybe counseling. Or she will choose another guy that is completely wrong for her.

[@rory644]

She was probably desperate to be married & have kids so just took the first guy that showed interest in her.

[@tonytoni1150]

Well said. She picked him and voluntarily gave him kids. We reap what we sow

[@johnnieking8307]

There is nothing more despicable than a man who cannot provide. Nothing! I was with a man who would word his ass off to provide but I left him because he cheated. THEN I ended up with a man who was a complete free loader. And I’ll tell you right now id rather be with a cheater than a man child.

[@lauraw128]

Girl declutter your home and life until it runs autopilot for you and your children

[@michaelh2282]

Agreed. She should immediately throw that piece of trash to the curb and never have sex again until she figures out how to pick better men.

[@JessSJ2DC]

This so the right answer

[@BloodofTheLamb777]

I can just imagine Dave’s response to this - our ears would still be ringing 😄

[@babygrizwold]

I'm going through this right now with my husband. Now I will say around the house he does a ton of work. The only thing he does not do is sweep and wash the floors and dust. He does all the laundry when needed and he does tidy up etc. He also makes dinner as well quite a bit. He lost his job a year ago and he wanted to take a few months off and live on unemployment and have a break. Now this was only after he was working one year. He was going through immigration prior to that and for a couple years prior he had a jobs here and there but for 7 years he was off work while I supported us and two of my kids. So 10 months after he loses his job he still doesn't have a job and well I finally hit my breaking point. I've been keeping quiet pretty much enabling him I guess and the last week I have let him have it. He gets up around noon he plays video games for a couple hours go downstairs and works out eats dinner or makes dinner and then he plays video games again until he goes to bed. That's his day. 10 months later and I've had enough. So I got angry with him and told him he wasn't like me. He has no drive to find a job. He looks on the internet every day at the same website looking for a job and then he just says yep there's no jobs. He has no driver's license because he just has to take the road test because he changed countries and he still hasn't done that 14 years later we are very close to having to go on social assistance because I refuse to be the breadwinner again. I refuse to support him. Now all my kids are grown and out of the house and I refuse to go to work while he sits on his ass at home. So in 6 weeks we will find out what's going to happen because if I have to go on social assistance because he didn't get a job well, then I will be going out and getting a job but I will not be having him at the house and supporting him. I love him to pieces but in my eyes I don't respect him anymore he's not acting like a husband. He's not even acting like a real man. Anything that has to do with my car I take care of it myself. I call everybody for appointments I take my car to the garage everything he does nothing. Anyways sorry this is long but nowhere else to put my experience up. Everything can be really good and you can get along really well but when one person isn't doing what they should be doing it breaks everything😢

[@Tamar-sz8ox]

I never had a roommate that could not pay their half of the rent . This is the same for a marriage . Luckily I married a wonderful man , husband ❤ & father. I’m giving thanks 🙏🏼

[@LOLZHAHANOTFUNNY]

My dad was the same way until I left for college at 18. Overnight he signed up for CDL school and was making more than my mom within 6 months driving trucks. His depression was just crushing him under heel. My daddy has a great heart and strong character, it's 10 years later and he's still holding a great job and my parents have been married 32 years. I just mean to propose that maybe her husband is lost, he has no self esteem, he feels like a waste of space and a burden. Or he's a garbage person, it's possible either way.

[@kevinjackson8011]

Exactly. Great perception

[@dewilew2137]

@@kevinjackson8011 of course you would think so. 🙄

[@Bucephalus84]

@dewilew2137 build your men up ladies. It helps the outcome alot.

[@westernredcedar4033]

I believe your experience was the exception and not the rule in cases like this. You were really fortunate.

[@anneshirley95]

@@Bucephalus84 fathers should be building up their sons instead of leaving. At some point, men need to just choose to man up and take care of their families. Both men and women are so fragile and emotionally stunted nowadays compared to previous generations. Everybody has something nowadays. 🙄

[@salonsavy6476]

Spot On !!,, this is so familiar!,, I was in a relationship with a guy who couldn’t keep a job or get a job !,, he would ride on anyone’s coattails for support ,, scam people for money,,is master manipulator!

[@oroville12345]

Well it worked on you sounds like.. How long did it last?

[@bethbennett317]

Young girls nowadays, want a man so bad in their life, they put up with too much! Or rush into relationships before making sure the person in front of you is being authentic. Now she’s got two kids to support. ☹️

[@karenmassey8354]

This🎯 When you’re desperate to say you have a man.

[@littlesongbird1]

This is why I would rather be single. I would have no problem with a house husband as I hate cooking and cleaning but two of my exes bfs thought it meant they could pay video games all day while I worked ten hours to support us both and did the cleaning and cooking when I got home. Nope: saved a lot of money and low and behold the chores took me less time without an adult to look after.

[@K.R-]

Let's not forget that society makes us "young girls" feel like trash for not settling down and marrying. Supposedly women hit the wall by 30; and this type of relationship happens when you feel pressure to marry or be labeled.

[@salty7602]

@@K.R-true

[@pagedarney2268]

I have family with a similar situation. Never understood why she doesn’t leave him.

[@salty7602]

She’s probably embarrassed and feels guilty/shameful

[@cheifhughw9349]

"Get a hobby" - Is she serious?

[@MsDorcelus]

I was surprised that she made that suggestion. She should have simply stated “You have two small children & a wife. Get a job!”

[@terriesmith2616]

She married him. She chose him to father her kids. She has only known him for 3 months and she decided to marry and have kids with him. Ultimately she's responsible for her bad decision making skills. She should've waited and gotten to know him better before she decided to have kids with him. Now she suffers.

[@tbrigorman]

Sooo true! You have to own your bad choices and the consequences of them. Make better choices in the future.

[@sammorales835]

The other piece is he’s a stay at home dad, and the wife provides and it’s presented as “lame” Dr. John with 0 additional context from his side. Name calling literally 1:00 in for a situation that is becoming more common throughout the world, and when it’s reversed is praised or defended.

[@michaelh2282]

@@sammorales835 there are some men who actually embrace being a SAHD and put in the work for the family, but 9 out of 10 times, it's just an excuse for a man to stay home all day watching TV and playing X-box and then "contribute" by sticking something in the oven every few days for her.

[@melissam7067]

@@sammorales835 he stays at home but he doesnt sound like much of a dad

[@Jonathan-mm5zx]

Should have is never helpful in determining the way forward.

[@Nah-ah]

Ladies, this is why you don’t marry and especially get pregnant by a low value dude. Think of your future children! 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@oroville12345]

Well you have to be high value yourself before you can get a high value man... and being past 24 or a single mother is not high value... if you where feminine and sweet you would have been taken off of the market long ago.

[@jerusalem4492]

Rough Past 24? Guess that counts me out

[@queenwhatever5217]

@@oroville12345 The arbitrary number you’ve picked for when women are past their prime is before their brains are even fully developed. The prefrontal cortex, which is the part of the brain responsible for decision making, isn’t even done maturing until 25 years or longer. It’s interesting and not at all surprising that creeps like you seek out women who are physically incapable of making fully thought out adult decisions.

[@devilsoffspring5519]

Hold on: If she was willing to marry a "low value" man, then a high-value one NEVER WOULD HAVE WANTED HER. Get that through your fucking skull.

[@heartspeaks]

My exfriends man used to say this stuff! She would complete applications for him, he would get calls and he wouldn’t show up! This man was like this before! They met quick, moved in quickly, married quickly, he literally found someone that would take care of him from day one! Yes he has a hidden substance abuse problem and his mom is involved heavily! 😂 I tried to get her out but her parents told me to mind my business because any man is better than no man…. TF NO it’s NOT! It’s their lives so have at it! Can’t borrow anything from me!

[@black4vcobra]

I will never understand how people get in these situations. While this guy seems like a piece of work, she married him and she reproduced with him twice! She needs to recognize those were 3 BAD decisions.

[@salty7602]

A lot of men like this put up quite the convincing facade for long enough to get baby #1 They prey on women’s vulnerabilities and inherent WANTS To be a mother. So, dead beat douche and baby #1 I can understand But baby #2? That boggles the mind. Unless it was “unplanned”

[@Foxie635]

My life story! Hubby promised to get a better job rather than delivering pizzas, never did. I started a business so he has a job, 20 years later, he says I am too controlling and seeing me for a divorce to take half. Never believe a man who makes promises, get a man that's already successful.

[@MyCatsChannel841]

You get what you allo😂w

[@dewilew2137]

“If you want to be a stay at home dad, I can make that work”. I can’t imagine a conversation that would make me less attracted to a man than that. Edit: was that a Fight Club quote?! 😍

[@treasuremuch9185]

Ladies, do your best to not have children too soon. You need to live as a couple and see how it goes before beginning a family. Have more independence. And if you already have the one child and things aren't going well, protect yourself from having any others in those circumstances.

[@Love-bo3df]

He will not stop until he ruins her. So sad that even though she knows that she continues to hold out hope of him turning their lives together around. Empty promises 😢

[@JustBree716]

I suppose they texted each other their wedding vows too😂🥶

[@elizabetha8565]

I can't feel that bad for her he never had a job he just let his mom take care of him AND he was upfront about it. She also encourages him to find hobbies when he says he didn'tdo anything but take a nap and drink? She is mom number 2.

[@jonquindiagan682]

Thank you for sharing your experience. Keep up the good work!

[@jessicaolson5575]

I had a husband like this. I worked and made about $400 (25 years ago) it was just enough to cover basic needs and not enough to be comfortable. I wanted him to feel that there was still a need for him to work and contribute. It took about a year for him to get a job.

[@juliemcgugan1244]

Not married, but when I took a year to find a job just out of university, I took anything I could find, even part-time and volunteered at another, in my field of passion, so that prospective employers could see that I was driven and hard-working, with a passion for the business. Employers aren’t going to give you the time of day, if they see big holes all over your employment history. As well as lack of qualifications. To stay in the industry, sometimes that means taking courses that add to your expertise and staying up-to-date on developments within the industry. My Mum made the same mistake, as a secretary, back before word processors. She and my Dad got married, moved to a developing country for a job with a stellar path for development and then stayed at home after she had kids. She didn’t stay current in her field of employment, because it actually wasn’t safe for white women to work outside the home, then by the time my sister and I were at school and they had moved somewhere safer, the field had moved onto work with word processing computers. She never could bridge that gap. Luckily, my Dad had a great job and was able to support us all and they are still happy with their roles in the relationship, nearly 40 years later. But it could have easily gone the other way.

[@jewelweeks]

People are really hard on this woman in the comments. He has put her in a terrible position and he’s the one deserving of the criticism. She probably expected him to be decent in the same way her own dad was decent, not realizing she had to be on guard for red flags. That doesn’t make her bad. She’s done a wonderful job trying to hold it all together while her husband screws things up. I myself couldn’t work two jobs, look after two young kids and look after the household while trying to manage my husbands BS… I’d die. So easy to stand back and criticize. I hope she finds the wisdom and strength to do what needs to be done, or that her husband grows some sense. Let’s be kind to her.

[@Guitarlvr01]

Would’ve loved some exploration into why she found herself attracted to a loser and her poor self esteem.

[@smustipher]

No romance without finance 🎤🎤🎤 drop.

[@oroville12345]

That's basically being a prostste so he must pay for some old catches glove.... while all the thugs and bad boys got it for free... no thanks..

[@sandrasimplytoday7772]

Why would you tell your husband to get a hobby when you have 2 kids and you are not wealthy? He is lazy and will not change until you put a fire under him. God bless you baby.

[@nly4607]

Reading comments from black women and seeing how they view things helps me understand why African Americans have a 76% single parent rate

[@sandrasimplytoday7772]

@@nly4607 What’s your opinion on this call?

[@nly4607]

@Sandra Simply today she chose to marry a bum She chose to have 2 kids with him when she had 40 forms of birth control and abortion If she chooses to destroy her family she shouldn't expect a better outcome lol

[@erichchan3]

The first caller married a manchild. I am pretty sure she must have seen red flags with him before she married him but probably ignored them thinking her husband can be a "fixer upper" and can change him. It makes me question why she thought it would be a good idea to have 2 kids with her husband when he doesn't have a solid job.

[@oroville12345]

Because they don't think.

[@TuBui2]

Given how challenging the dating market is, I'm always surprised how often women choose guys like this

[@nly4607]

He is attractive she is fat. Not exactly surprising

[@wearecreatorz5688]

Dang. This is somewhat me right now. My husband has had countless jobs since we’ve been married all of which he has lasted less than a year or six months in. He dropped 2 pretty good jobs without talking to me and without another job lined up. He gets VA disability but it’s only so much and he can work; Lyft, DoorDash, call center etc but I have never seen any urgency to get up and go get something. Only at the very last minute when the bills are overdue. He is currently unemployed and does not do any gig jobs like should be doing. He just naps, plays video games and plays ball. When it comes to housework and tending to our toddler, I have to ask him to help me when there is clearly a need to be met and then hopefully it’s not met with an excuse that he is busy or complaints. If he he does willingly help, I’m appreciative but he honestly does the bare minimum just to show that actually did something. It’s not out of sense of duty or generosity. I’m married to a teenager. It’s been 5 years and I’ve reached my breaking point. It’s so hard being in the same home sometime and it’s even harder when I think about being in a separate home and how we have to handle things with our toddler.

[@traceejohnson290]

Her problem is she Married someone she did Not even know😯

[@susanbartlett-ye6476]

Oh, I was there over 20 years ago... after over a year of not working, parents telling him to go back to school to be a teacher, but he didn't really care.. I gave him 1 week to get a job, any job and we could it work it out. Of course he didn't, and that was it. I never looked back... she can and will do better...

[@thejakelegion]

It's crazy, I know many people from Missouri and there's only 2 types of men there. Hard working studs who work sun up to sun down and have a good life with their family... and bums who treat their wives like garbage.

[@pamelamays4186]

I was married to a guy who refused to work. He didn't want to be a real husband. He was also perfectly happy living in his parents' basement.

[@donnaallgaier-lamberti3933]

Does he have a disability? Is he depressed? Does he contribute in other ways; take care of the home, yard, kids, errands, cooking etc? I have always felt that there are many ways to contribute to the family. I had long-term health issues (severe Endometriosis with exhaustion and disability) but I raised our two sons, twenty-one months apart. I was one hundred percent responsible for our son's (all doctors appointments, homework) took care of our home, mow the grass/ take care of the garden, and the yard, painted the house every summer, ran all errands, did all the washing/ironing my husband's 7 shirts every week, cleaning every Monday, paying the bills, got the groceries, cooked three meals per day. baked, took the boys to their coop preschool (where I worked) their doctors appts. dentist and braces appts. PTA meetings, all school events, drove them to scouts and soccer etc. My husband expected me to do all of this PLUS work fulltime, but he would not help me in the homei n the least - he refused. I collected bottles and cans, gathered sellable furniture and items and took them to the Flea Market each summer, cut coupons and used these items to save some cash on groceries. I feel that I contributed tremendously to our family... (especially considering my surgeries and how much pain I was in).i just did not get paid in cash. Later on, we were half owners in a family cottage and I did everything there as well....I was responsible for two homes, two yards, etc. Every night I helped my sons do their homework, get their baths and get ready for school the next morning while my husband was on the ballfield, in the bars, in the canoe etc.

[@MrMds414]

John was far too nice to her. He should have nicely scolded her for choosing this man to be the father of her children.

[@matthewfournier6478]

He ain’t doctor Laura. Lol

[@bettysmith4527]

What good would that do?

[@katrinna7311]

Forget John scolding her. Where are her parents!? They raised her and she even said that she grew up in a hard working family. MY dad would never let me marry a useless man. Did this guy wooo her that much that she married him in 3 months AND had his children?

[@boston312]

What could possibly go wrong when you marry someone you just met 3 months ago?