HOW I USED MEDITATION TO DEAL WITH CONFLICT

[@JadeRadcliff1992]

I live in a house that, a few weeks after I bought it, I found out that there'd recently been a multiple homicide in the house. It's a small house so basically, you can't really escape from where the things happened. I was so upset and creeped out and honestly it consumed me, living there alone and working from home, and it was during the pandemic when it wasn't easy to leave and go somewhere else for a break. After months of having nightmares, I decided that I'd tried everything except for loving them. Every time I felt scared or creeped out, I loved them. I learned everything I could about all involved in the killings (victims and killers) and learned to love them. That isn't condoning their actions, but it was loving and giving all involved grace and compassion. And I swear-- after a few weeks of sending them love-- I started receiving love back. It blew my mind and opened it wide open. It was a transformative experience that started me on my own spiritual path.

[@modernbuddhismpodcast]

Wow! That is such an inspiring story! Thank you SO much for sharing!

[@JadeRadcliff1992]

@@modernbuddhismpodcast Thank you. I am just loving your podcast!! It is WONDERFUL!

[@marcus_starr]

Do Offerings to the Spiritual Guide sadhana in your house. It will bless your home 💎

[@lizm7817]

@@JadeRadcliff1992​​⁠wow, what an incredible story. I can’t imagine what that must’ve been like, and getting to where you are now emotionally!

[@epiphany1915]

Amazing Jade ❤ I will try that when I feel angered by world conflicts and events xxx

[@Helen-s7g]

Thank you so much! These podcasts are so helpful to keep me taking my spiritual journey a step at a time and accepting ''difficult days'. Love this discussion and will listen to it again 😊

[@modernbuddhismpodcast]

@Helen-s7g Thanks for commenting - it was a hugely practical and illuminating discussion wasn't it? We face many challenges and obstacles as we embark on a spiritual path and sometimes things get really hard in our mind and in our life - none of us are exempt from this. You're definitely not alone! The skill of going step by step and persevering through adversity couldn't be more important. All the best with your practice!

[@groundedunorthodoxy8000]

Sometimes it's not a difficult person, but a person having a difficult emotion.

[@modernbuddhismpodcast]

@groundedunorthodoxy8000 that's such an important wisdom - thank you!

[@OhHapppyDaay]

Some others actually refuse to accept the love they are offered. That makes it easier. I just love them anyway, but don't let them know it openly. I imagine us as best friends. I myself never felt worthy of love and couldn't form bonds with others, keeping all my relationships on a superficial ( fake) level. Up until recently, I ran and ran and ran from "Those toxic others" but as they said here, they'll just be waiting for you on down the road in another body, at another job or in another relationship. So, here I am, at 61 young years of age, facing it ALL head on. Looking inside myself, and what do you suppose I keep finding there? "Those others" LOL, today a guy at work was being controlling. It kept agitating me. I stepped out for a bit to pray for understanding and I then realized that... I was the problem, not him!! I went back in and enjoyed the rest of the shift working by his side. Then, get this...I saw him at an AA meeting tonight, picking up his 15 year sobriety chip! So, hey. Gotta learn to Just Love, starting with yourself. Go me!! XOX🎉

[@modernbuddhismpodcast]

@OhHapppyDaay Seriously - GO YOU! Thank you for sharing your journey and insights :-)

[@patdav44]

Great episode. Love the personal anecdotes - they really show how you are both taking the teachings to heart ❤❤❤

[@modernbuddhismpodcast]

Thanks so much!

[@LeftTheMatrix]

❤this podcast SO much. It is more needed than ever!!

[@modernbuddhismpodcast]

We absolutely agree! Spread the word!

[@kelsangchogma9517]

Loved this conversation so much! Very inspiring. 🥰

[@modernbuddhismpodcast]

@kelsangchogma9517 Fantastic - thank you for your comment

[@KMCAResidentTeacher]

It's just so important to develop these positive ways of responding to conflict. Thank you so much for this.

[@modernbuddhismpodcast]

@KMCAResidentTeacher Thank you for that comment!

[@myra6087]

I'm really enjoying this podcast. Thank you.

[@modernbuddhismpodcast]

So glad!

[@est-nineteeneightynine]

thank you for this. having some difficulty with a family member at the moment and listening to this has helped. grateful.

[@modernbuddhismpodcast]

@est-nineteeneightynine So glad to hear it helped! Thank you for commenting :-)

[@RenateGunther-kr9gd]

Thank you for reminding me of the teaching on subtle impermanence. I find this so helpful with all sorts of difficult situations and emotions. Another brilliant podcast ❤😊

[@modernbuddhismpodcast]

@RenateGunther-kr9gd So glad you're enjoying the channel Renate!

[@zoelee7900]

You two are amazing! Really enjoyed this episode. Could listen to you both all day long. Thank you so much ♥️✨♥️

[@modernbuddhismpodcast]

Our pleasure!

[@alisonarthurson2316]

Loving these conversations, thank you 🙏

[@modernbuddhismpodcast]

So glad - thanks for sharing!

[@vitoriaborgo5821]

Obrigada por compartilhar ensinamentos muito úteis para o dia a dia.

[@modernbuddhismpodcast]

@vitoriaborgo5821 it is such a pleasure to share these episodes - I'm so glad you're finding them helpful.

[@RebeccaGauthier]

Great episode! Very practical advice especially dealing with the difficult boss - really helpful! Thx

[@modernbuddhismpodcast]

So glad you enjoyed it - many more great episodes online now and on the way 😊

[@Reddy2grow]

What a great conversation . Helped me reframe my mindset and remember my dharma practice . Thanks

[@modernbuddhismpodcast]

Wonderful - so glad it helped!

[@karmentine2324]

Thank you 🙏

[@modernbuddhismpodcast]

@karmentine2324 Thank you!

[@glasshalffull1992]

Thank you so much for this. I was having difficulty with a friend turned coworker (and no longer friend) and it was literally torturing me and I was holding bitterness that it seemed impossible to let go. Now I’m at a much better place but still occasionally triggered. I was thinking about the importance of me letting go that negatively for the sake of myself earlier this week and then I found this podcast today and this episode. I particularly appreciate the anecdote. Thank you again. I feel hope with a little more wisdom. I’m sure I’ll be watching again.

[@modernbuddhismpodcast]

@glasshalffull1992 Welcome to our channel and thanks for commenting! Wonderful to hear you've managed to navigate yourself to a more peaceful place with respect to this difficult relationship. So happy to hear that this conversation was affirming of what you've achieved so far.

[@coolbreeze5683]

What you said at the 40:00 mark was very profound. The person you met up with at the coffee shop. That you were struggling with him but he was struggling an awful lot more with his own mind. Made me think about how I would never want to pile up on a person who is already struggling. It's hard to see another person's perspective sometimes, outside of our own pain. I think that's why we are so tough on eachother sometimes. Because we all have felt dismissed at some point in our lives so we just offload that pain back and forth. We all just want to be listened to and to know others are atleast making an attempt to understand us. Even in meditation, it's an attempt to try to understand and accept ourselves. This was a great conversation 😊

[@modernbuddhismpodcast]

That’s a beautiful insight, thank you for sharing! 🙏

[@TaraCentre-s8w]

Lovely podcast. Really enjoyed it.

[@modernbuddhismpodcast]

It’s so helpful isn’t it!

[@Sara-n7m9j]

I appreciate how you both share challenges and are real that some change can take time. 23:40

[@modernbuddhismpodcast]

Thank you for listening and your kind words

[@peacefulisland67]

What comes first, loving the self, loving other, or both simultaneously? The struggle from my side is having no point of reference for love of self and so in trying to bring it for others, I fall short. In real time I witness the falsehood of my expression; the lack of experience, and the potential for honest intimacy is blown out of the water. Shame and lack of self love take my mind and body down to the point where I can no longer see "reality" and certainly can't respond to it. I become mute and even deaf in the moment. The initial story and the method of using the face of Gen's brother to begin the process was helpful. Using the face of anyone else than the one I find triggering is a good place for me to start. Also remembering that everyone I struggle with has people in their lives who admire or love them, in the same way that even though I'm challenged to love myself, others do love me and say so in ways that I believe them even if I can't absorb it into my body. Until recently, I couldn't see how I thought too much; how I am so disconnected from my body and consciousness outside of my brain. This disconnection was just the way I was (am) and didn't know beyond the experience. Ignorance of ignorance is such a trap. Nightly I pray for a change of mind and heart and the ability to accept the process, but I'm feeling over my head and out of my depth. My head shuts out a lot of current realities and steers me toward victimhood and inertia. As much as I don't want it and know I'm only habituated to it, I struggle to maintain my desired position and personal integrity. Thank you for sharing these conversation and I pray it isn't just one more distraction from my own work! 😑🙏

[@modernbuddhismpodcast]

That’s really profound and insightful. I wish you every success on this journey you’re on. We have an episode coming out in a couple of weeks that focuses a lot on how to relate to ourself in a healthy and empowering way - I believe you’ll benefit a lot from it.

[@peacefulisland67]

@modernbuddhismpodcast thanks for the heads up, sorry for the pun. I'll keep an eye out for it. 🙂

[@wendymcaninch1694]

This video came along just at the right moment for me and has had a profound positive impact on a family conflict that I’m in the middle of, thank you 🙏

[@modernbuddhismpodcast]

@wendymcaninch1694 that is such a beautiful thing to share, and makes us so happy to know! Thank you and good luck as you continue to navigate this conflict situation!

[@surrenderinfaith]

This is superb, helped me so much. Loved the examples as it demonstrates the nondual nature of the mind when looking at conflict.

[@modernbuddhismpodcast]

@surrenderinfaith Thanks so much for tuning in and commenting. This was a brilliant conversation wasn't it! Glad to hear you found it so helpful.

[@kellyoconnor4248]

Oh tbis is so wonderful ❤ amazing that you've made this podcast! Thank you

[@modernbuddhismpodcast]

You're so welcome!

[@chedda3d]

Amazing episode! Thank you!

[@modernbuddhismpodcast]

Thank you 🙏

[@KelsangLamchog]

Wonderful discussion Kadam Adam & Gen Dornying. Please could you cover more on this topic in the future? ❤

[@modernbuddhismpodcast]

@KelsangLamchog Thank you! I'll pass that request on! Many more great episodes on the way :-)

[@meredithbrownwishpathheali4356]

Wonderful! Thank you both so much. 💗🙏🏻💎

[@modernbuddhismpodcast]

So glad you enjoyed it

[@lisamcmaster133]

Thank you, very inspiring ❤❤

[@modernbuddhismpodcast]

You are so welcome!

[@wadinglady]

What is involved in loving the way you were speaking of it I know you super impressed your brother’s face but there must’ve been activities. Not just thought. How did you do that loving?

[@modernbuddhismpodcast]

Thats a great question, I think Adam fleshes it out a bit more later in the episode where he talks about a business meeting where he feels his colleagues pain as keenly as he might feel his own - I think it’s that empathy and understanding of the shared humanity that’s the key - but we will definitely do a deeper dive on this in future episodes! Thank you for your comment 🙏

[@nancistarr6013]

❤

[@modernbuddhismpodcast]

🙏

[@aledamuth7215]

The narrator doesn’t need to not only paraphrase AND summarize everything his guest says. It is disrespectful to us the listener. Asking probing questions and clarify only when needed is a good interview.

[@modernbuddhismpodcast]

@aledamuth7215 Thanks for your feedback.

[@gemapozooliva5250]

😍

[@modernbuddhismpodcast]

@gemapozooliva5250 thank you :-)

[@gemapozooliva5250]

Es súper Bonito de escuchar esta conversación tan significativa 😌muchas Gracias !!

[@allforhealth95]

The commercial music on your podcast does not seem to align with the spiritual inovation.

[@modernbuddhismpodcast]

Thanks for the feedback, I'll pass it on.

[@msgilsification]

two amazing role models. thank you for yer pure hearts, honesty and ability to be vulnerable.💙❤🤍

[@modernbuddhismpodcast]

You are so welcome

[@DaneLeva5]

Thank you 🙏 .....

[@modernbuddhismpodcast]

@DaneLeva5 Thank you for watching!