How important is sexual compatibility?

[@Casimiur1]

I disagree with the idea that monogamy gets on this platform. I have had my own journey with my partner of 7 years and we have lived happy. 1st we are very open about our desires. However we have a respect for one another that we grow open-minded, without disrespecting eachothers boundaries. Its okay if we dont conqueror the entirety of eachothers desires because eventually when we do roll around to it we are fulfilled. We are both verse so we keep things mixed up. Originally he was the bottom and i was the top. However over time we desired to rotate those rolls and did so effortlessly. To be honest its not about monogamy or an open relationship being better than the other. It is about what works for you! Having control is not a bad thing. Knowing boundaries is not a bad thing either. Communication is key to getting everything you might want. With the chance of sacrifice. However when you have found love like i have its so worth it! Because I have the man of my dreams and we are so happy together! Know your worth and understand what you want! What agree's with you will find you! Peace and love to all! And please take care of your health and practice safe sex out there!

[@benjaminreyes3624]

These guys are not talking about love. They’re talking about lust

[@avbroooo]

BINGO. and sadly thats manyyyyyyyyy men out there x.o.

[@Emanuel-uh1uo]

And whats wrong with lust? Most men including YOU are all about it...and dont say otherwise

[@benjaminreyes3624]

@@Emanuel-uh1uo lust is fleeting destructive desire. It’s needed for a romantic relationship but it shouldn’t encompass all of a relationship and it shouldn’t encompass an entire conversation regarding relationships.

[@Emanuel-uh1uo]

@@benjaminreyes3624 don't try to judge others of what you're all about yourself...im so sick of these holier than thou gays , yet when you examine their own personal lives they are far WORSE than the people who they're pointing fingers at...please STOP it

[@lestermatos2989]

But wait if there is no sex or a heathy fun sex life the relationship will not survive!

[@MerrilThePearl]

The monogamy answers were my deal breaker for continuing this podcast lol

[@psremington]

Same here. If you can be open to the idea of open relationships, you ought to be open to the idea of monogamous relationships too.

[@SurfaceLevelPodcast]

We'll miss you!

[@BrighterThanYours]

These are people that have not had a deep mutual bond with anyone. Sex is the bases of everything for them. It’s easy to maintain a sexual relationship with multiple people because you don’t actually have to invest in one individuals health,mental health,finances and deaths in the family. It keeps things shiny and when it gets dull with one they’re on to the next. Monogamy is not a prison sentence.

[@magnus466]

Monogamy is for me. It’s happiness. It’s Security. It’s stability It’s compatibility. It’s a spiritual connection. It’s love. That’s what my parents had. Folks seem to treat people and relationships the way that they’re always looking for a new pair of shoes or clothes or a better trip/vacation or a place to live…It’s doom scrolling on your phone transferred to people. It could just be an age/maturity thing. And that’s totally fine. Everybody should have that fun/experimental/growing part of their life if they want it. But it’s impossible to learn how to have a mature relationship if you’re not willing to put time into one relationship…with one person… Whether it’s a partner or a friend, Human beings are not disposable. It’s darn near impossible to properly invest in someone when you’re always distracted by looking for someone else, or something “better”. But I’m old school, Gen X. I still talk to friends weekly who I’ve known since I was 10 years old and I live in a house that’s 110 years old that I fixed up almost 30 years ago. I’ve got a fantastic, monogamous relationship, smart kids in high school, who are almost ready to head to college, and peace of mind

[@Jenny-gh5wy]

Yall lost me before the 5 min mark … idk why everyone wants an open relationship… just stay single 🤷🏽‍♂️

[@michaelajayi8546]

Agreed , our community doesn't even see why we are always going to be in turmoil.

[@Vann20F]

Friends with benefits

[@Emanuel-uh1uo]

Why does it matter what other people want?how does it affect you and your relationships?

[@SurfaceLevelPodcast]

@@Emanuel-uh1uo precisely!

[@beingJabulani]

So glad I’m Gen X! I couldn’t survive in this open relationship generation. It’s your choice, but my opinion is that it’s sad and will ultimately destroy the concept of relationships altogether.

[@Uchiskuchis]

This conversation was immaculate!! Yall touched on a lot of different aspects of how people may not be sexual compatible. Personally this was a big factor in me determining I was not fulfilled in my first relationship. Like you mentioned in the episode I took on the role of a character and showed up how I thought I was supposed to and that definitely created resentment on my end. I never cheated on them but I had to free myself. The other issue was we were not upfront about our desires in depth and I felt apprehensive to tackle the situation in fear of losing access to that person. Very much so it’s not something you will truly grasp until you experience it. I also not aware of my communication skills being nonexistent at the time. The knowledge and understanding came after we separated. For some more tea because I feel comfortable enough to share, I’m versatile and was not able to explore that in totality so when I ended things, months later I definitely got bent tf over and had a great time😊 Eventually I saw that this person who played a more submissive role wanted to be in their TOP era afterwards and I said “Where was this when I mentioned it the first time?!” But things happen for a reason.

[@SurfaceLevelPodcast]

Thank you so much for watching, we really appreciate the love and thank you for sharing! You took us on a lil journey there haha

[@Eight3OFour]

“Sunset the relationship” is so eloquent and I WILL be stealing this 😌

[@SurfaceLevelPodcast]

@@Eight3OFour haha! Yes, please do 😝

[@robertmcfletcher1831]

OG Nene Vrs Star Read "Sunset of your career"

[@Emanuel-uh1uo]

Thou shall not steal

[@Sagegreen90]

4:22 The issue with all of your perspectives is that they are all too similar in your views of non-monogamy. Show us a perspective of someone who identifies more with monogamous practices, but might be considering an alternative and/or who is in the process of ethical non-monogamous practices.

[@D3licateSag]

I agree

[@zambe811]

Yeah this convo is great and totally needed. But if your more in the mong spectrum, that’s where it’s gets complicated and sacrifices are required

[@SurfaceLevelPodcast]

Thanks for this perspective - we've all evolved over time and had revisited the monogamy conversation a few times, so you're catching us further along in our journey here. We will definitely keep this in mind as we continue to explore these topics.

[@onlygafabotwhatigafbout8495]

Prudes talking about lustful one sided relationship 😂

[@jicter1]

It is unfortunate that most gay men don't have the discipline to confine themselves to one sexual partner, however, most of them are discipline to going to the gym or doing any other activity that they enjoy. While I am not oppose to people exploring their sexual identity/apetite but don't denegrate monogamy relationship as if it's so out dated. Try being discipline, sometimes we can't have everything or rather shouldn't have everything.

[@Vann20F]

You do know that it's not a s3xual preference it's men

[@Emanuel-uh1uo]

Why?

[@redd3121]

“I’m definitely tired in advance” 😂😂😂😂

[@wqross]

Felt that. 😂

[@SurfaceLevelPodcast]

lol period!

[@acezzyc1]

Great conversation. It is inspiring to ask these questions with someone I am dating!

[@SurfaceLevelPodcast]

@@acezzyc1 love it! Have those real open honest conversations 🙌🏾

[@pppexplorer]

Great conversation, guys! Thought-provoking and mature. 👍🏽

[@SmilesWalker]

i would also say shaming...top shaming, vers shaming, and bottom shaming could mess up a relationship

[@melvinjordan5420]

It was a great episode, l love the way you guys always try to incorporate all points of view on a subject without judgement.

[@MrPman474]

Great video. Although I disagree with a couple of points made, there were far more that you guys explained perfectly. You guys make an attractive panel too...😉

[@jacobrivera-pb4sv]

Love the honest approach to the subject with respect for varied values vs insecurity amazing

[@Play2Win549]

It’s unfortunate that monogamous relationships are fading.. 😔

[@jonb4530]

Monogamous relationships aren't fading. The people who don't practice it just have a louder voice in the community

[@Play2Win549]

@@jonb4530your opinion not mine 🙂

[@jonb4530]

@Play2Win549 exactly. You gave yours and I gave mine SIS 😀

[@Vann20F]

It's not fading they just pulling back from all the background noise 😮

[@ImXavierBryant]

Newbie here this is the first podcast-like show on KZbin I enjoyed and listened to and I love it

[@SurfaceLevelPodcast]

Awww! Thank you, welcome - take a look around, we've got lots here to unpack :)

[@Emanuel-uh1uo]

Im a newbie also i have no idea how i found this maybe it got recommended but i love it and i subscribed

[@japaulhobson7626]

Im sorry brothers I tried to sit through this but I can’t 😂😅🤐 I’ll be back next episode lol

[@percybrown8617]

To the brotha in the blue chair! I just happened to come across this bogcast. In response to your Porn Addiction comments! I may have misunderstood your comments about Porn Addiction! But, it seems like you where watering down Porn Addiction as if its a joke that people like to say!! Porn Addiction is very real just like any other Addictions are! I use to be addicted to porn myself! Its not so much the porn as its the copingness from depression, low self-esteem, risky fantasy behaviors, etc that people get from the obsession of Porn Addiction! Everyone is not addicted to porn; people who claim they are may not be addicted to porn as an "Addiction" can be an intrusive, problematic, dangerous thing that can lead to social retardation and relationship disruptions! I would highly encourage you to do more research on said topic to get more info about Porn Addiction! Just do not see Porn Addiction as merely water-under-the-bridge! Today, I am a LMFT who helps others with said Addiction, and more! Please be mindful of the information you give out about others' social, subcultural, and cultural struggles that may seem like a fantom to you! You never know who's listening!

[@shakawalker9921]

Can we speak about bottom on bottom crime and becoming verse possibly? I haven't topped in awhile and dont know if I could but I tried...and I feel like im a new found bottom again and..I cant get an erraction..How do you guys feel about that? It's kind of related. I haven't watched this one yet but I looking forward too it!

[@SurfaceLevelPodcast]

This is interesting - something for us to think about 🤔

[@omphemetseletimela3922]

Yes please think about that one,it's an interesting conversation that need to be had ❤

[@lestermatos2989]

Sexual compatibility is even more important than attraction. I have made the mistake of dating wonderful people who DID NOT match my freak.. hence they have failed

[@RonaldInSainety]

It’s not about sexual incompatibility, it’s more about incompatibility period which is why we count millions of hopefuls and they are all singles. It hasn’t always been that way.

[@anthonyw1152]

Hi guys I have a request can y’all do a video about how hard it is as a neg bttm to find a Neg top !

[@Emanuel-uh1uo]

Lol its not hard...im a neg top ...there...u found me

[@PAULDIPEOLU]

I love when yall upload

[@SurfaceLevelPodcast]

We love coming back with a brand new conversation for us all to unpack together ❤

[@SmilesWalker]

speaking of sexual compatibility I have been a hardcore vers out of relationships but when I get in one for some reason I become the bottom. It's been 4 relationships but I always become the bottom. I dont know if I should praise that or what..idk..

[@CabriniDivo]

Most of y’all answers are shallow minded

[@wagnercolbert737]

This was REALLY good. Even though it took me alllll day to finish it. It 2qm now, I had to work. VERY mature conversation and VERY open and received by the panel. The mate who commented on monogamy and felt that it wasn't discussed; it was mentioned and to a small degree it was. Ex being in a monogamous relationship that doesn't include a strong sexual desire that one of the partners have, such as oral sex for the example. It could be something as common as smoking and drinking. If the other partner doesn't do either of those exercises what happens to spontaneous open mouth kissing? Monogamy was almost the unspoken subject in the conversation. Still yes, a panel about MONOGAMY would be just as interesting.

[@SurfaceLevelPodcast]

@@wagnercolbert737 thank you so much for watching, even if it took all day haha and we appreciate the feedback and will continue to think about different ways to have these conversations going forward!

[@suite404]

Wow! What a an amazing conversation! So glad that i happened upon this vid!

[@SurfaceLevelPodcast]

Thank you for watching! So glad you stumbled upon this as well :)

[@So.avant.garde1]

This was an interesting conversation. Although I will add continuous conversations amongst us LGBTQ about penis size has gotten so contrite and boring. I have a very large penis and conversation about it seems to scare or intimidate potential dates. So now in my quest, although I don’t constantly pursue it, but finding romance it’s better to start with friendship that can lead to love. This way I think the conversation of size or monogamy versus open relationship is important but not as much. Because if you start from a foundation of love and respect, then everything else is a lot easier to contend with. I feel like as long as the dude loves me enough then he will allow himself to give in and enjoy what I’m offering him as opposed to seeing it as painful or scary. And the same should be true for guys with smaller ones. As long as your partner loves you the way that they should size shouldn’t matter… just like little booties over big booties. I prefer a large booty because the pain is usually lessened for my partner because they have so much cushion. Little booties are getting all the thrust. But I too have opened my eyes and put away the discussion of booty size . There’s no need to talk about size. If you’d like somebody enough to fall in love with them then that should be all that matters. This is the real world not some porn or movie. But that’s my two cents. Start with love. ❤

[@prekcop]

Yall building these toxic warships as you sail them ugh ..!!!!!

[@OKANjarrod]

ATP in my life, If I see parts before I get your name... I'm not gonna condemn, but I'll place you in the appropriate category 😌

[@jdayman5528]

Interesting

[@tangled55]

41:05 - 41:12, Whew, Jordan, you better werq.

[@ShawnTevala777]

Love this season and love y’all

[@SurfaceLevelPodcast]

Awww! Thanks boo, we love you back ❣

[@scott4172]

A deal breaker if someone only want monogamy? Wow. This is a toxic episode. This is more about list than anything else.

[@alastairtheduke]

Y'all are shallow af

[@J_Starr007]

This was a great podcast, my first. Officially subbed these conversations aren't had enough and that's why gay relationships are so hard, ppl not communicating HONESTLY. But you guys need a bigger panel.

[@SmilesWalker]

I do check off the versatile box with my ex but he just seems to top mostly

[@slickandslaycious6579]

"Let's not waste each other's time." Me: What about 📞🦴🤭