How My Failed Marriage Helped Me Succeed In Life

[@Maynardd]

I told my ex-wife I’m not responsible for your happiness! You’re responsible for your happiness. For the first time ever, she stared at me struggling to find something to say that would be insulting, degrading, instead her face turned bright red, and she walked away… gentlemen a woman’s happiness, is not your responsibility.

[@dubbedconfused]

I tried that and it didn’t work. Mine just threw it back on me and said if she’s not happy with the relationship then she can’t be happy. It’s the whole chicken and the egg argument. What she didn’t realize is that her mood was all over the place and I was always walking on eggshells.

[@morenike41]

The good thing is that men make the atmosphere in the home. She will always be all over the place. A woman's nature is neurosis and emotional. I recommend Tony Gaskins channel to stay married and learning to love and heal yourslef and brjng out the best in your wife. You are not responsible but you can be accountable.

[@goranmiljus2664]

Neither is her weight!

[@allseeingotto2912]

They are only happy when they are making men miserable

[@daves4687]

Once that statement is uttered unfortunately it is all over. Unfortunately it is the hardest pill for them to swallow and they will never forgive you for reminding them

[@robertanna9964]

It’s an inevitable conversation that every man is confronted with- “I’m not happy and it’s your fucking fault” Don’t try talking her off the ledge. Do NOT go to marriage counseling. Tell her how appreciative you are for the time spent together and that you’ll miss her. Then say goodbye. And don’t look back. I have two sisters. Both divorced from great men. Why did they get divorced? One sister’s complaint was that he wouldn’t change. The other sister’s complaint was that he changed. Not making this up. And if you’re thinking about marriage, keep this in mind- If Tom Brady couldn’t do it, then you probably can’t either. Enjoy the company of woman of value, when you can and where you can. But know the limits.

[@antevrankovic4539]

Fair enough!

[@dont6441]

Spot on

[@sthnguyen]

@@robertanna9964 it’s so weird why so many women think the same. Is this what society has programmed them to believe, that it’s a man’s responsibility to make a woman happy. I wonder if they say the same thing in different cultures or have other reasons.

[@theskyizblue2day431]

@@sthnguyenit’s like our species is programmed to be over in one generation once it reaches a certain technological level of abundance.

[@watchmanonthewall14]

@@sthnguyen Somewhere on the spectrum, ALL women are crazy. Further, women are the most discontent life forms on earth. Part of that is because they are supremely selfish. They want everything their way, all the time. Just like many toddlers. After the fall of man in the Garden of Eden in Genesis 3, God pronounced a curse specific to the man, a curse specific to the serpent, and a curse specific to the woman. Part of the curse to women is pain in childbirth. Part of it is to always have a supreme desire to usurp control from their husband's original authority to be the head of house. We see this part of the curse, on steroids, today.

[@db50000]

I purchased a 40,000 euro musical instrument for my girlfriend, at the young age of 27. We moved from Hungary to the UK so she could study at the Royal Academy of Music, the best music school in the world. I rented an apartment 5 minutes away, in one of the most expensive areas of London so she wouldn't need to commute. She played in a concert for the Queen of England. She then joined a successful string quartet that toured the country performing. I had produced (financed) for her an album (still available on Amazon) and concert series to get her solo career going and it worked. We flew around the world from one competition to the other. All this had cost me my 20s, in which I spent 80% of my time helping her to have a career, in classical music which she wanted. Did all this make her happy? Lol of course not. She was miserable and blamed me for it. Crying, constant fights, then cheating, which I only discovered after I dumped her. Never do anything for a woman, it's like Orion Taraban describes it - it's like hunger, they're never satisfied and it's always your fault. Whatever you do, it doesn't matter. Every morning they wake up hungry again.

[@PricelessSpits]

this story makes me NEVER want to get into a serious relationship ever again... never. Sounds like you sold your life for this woman to make her dreams come true and in the end she took you for granted. Just wow! hard to believe but i have a similar situation. I supported my ex through Medical School, Residency and Fellowship. I was paying $5,500 rent a month in a 2 bedroom apartment in Downtown San Francisco so she could finish her 2 year fellowship. then divorced 5 months after she became a real doctor! nuts! whatever.

[@TheSnookman]

I did something similar: helped her get in the country/become a citizen, supported her during college, and taught her how to navigate a career. No gratitude, just attitude. So I bailed.

[@dianeneedleman5154]

Why did it take you so long to see this was a one way trip? Accountant here with similar client experiences

[@what-about-bob]

​@@PricelessSpits sounds like you were a useful person to know. She dispensed with you when you were no longer useful. Shocking behaviour but not uncommon these days.

[@PricelessSpits]

@ yeah pathetic. She like many women they just see men as a resource. You know, she never picked up the dog shit. That was beneath her morals and values. LOL. But she used power tools. Whatever. So tired of the game and these matriarch wannabes.

[@ScottAyersStuff]

I'm single and turning 60 this year. I've had several long time relationships and when every single one ended I was devastated and couldn't imagine living without them. When I look at their Facebook pages to see where they are today. I get on my knees and thank god how lucky I was to dodge that bullet for every single one of them. I don't know if it's luck or divine intervention that protected me from marrying those women. All I know is I'm very glad and very lucky it worked out this way.

[@racebannon96]

After my divorce, every woman I dated except one was a financial wreck. There was no way I was going to marry one of them.

[@ma3stro681]

The only happy men post 50 especially, are bachelor$ … 🎉

[@trw4war322]

@@ma3stro681Yep!🥳🫡

[@markbailey2014]

I like this guy. I can relate. Her divorcing me almost 10yrs ago one of the best things that ever happened to me. Let her leave

[@Rileyed]

“I let her lie” is a good country song.

[@MatthewSmith-cp3hu]

this guys ability to narrate his thoughts is so engaging to listen to, and learn something from every story he tells

[@john-griffin]

Thanks

[@WJE-n1s]

Left me after 22yrs of marriage. Within less than a year of divorce being settled she is already planning her next big wedding day! Now I'm out the other side my life is so peaceful and the feeling of freedom is amazing! I cannot thank you enough John! Your videos help so much....

[@JaceHerrod-wp1tk]

❤️‍🔥

[@gvis3880]

I feel sorry for that other guy, or maybe he deserves your sloppy seconds

[@Lex3501]

Just taking a minute to thank you for your videos. I’m in the exact same spot as you, been 9 years since the divorce, which was excruciating and threw me way off. I decided early on that I now had the opportunity to do anything I wanted. Work harder, make great money, buy the car I want, replenish my savings and retirement funding, meet new people, etc. It took me several years to get adjusted, honestly close to 5 years. And it was very rough. But OMG, the past 4 years I am unstoppable, super healthy, working hard, bought my dream home by myself, and I’m enjoying my life. I watch your videos because you are very reinforcing of this ideology, your subscribers can tell its genuine and comes from the heart and experience. Great work!

[@Joe-ny2up]

Well done. I tell my sons, remember a woman isn't really going to do anything for you, especially nowadays, she just wants you to do stuff for her. So, when you lose her, you haven't lost much.

[@john-griffin]

Thanks

[@TrevyTrev-andTheFunkyPets]

I truly believe my future ex wife and I became different people after 27yrs of marriage. Starting out when we were young , struggling & new parents, we were in love and on the same path. Now after success, we are much different. I won’t go into what I think she’s became, my oldest daughter told me ( after I announced the divorce) that I’ve changed since I discovered mountain biking. I think it boils down to how someone copes with life and how you react with your partner.

[@oscarm.1417]

Most people feel that they'll be able to manage any problem that comes their way. What they fail to understand is that the largest challenges in life tend to come nearly simultaneously, one after another. Resilience is less about preparation and more about an innate instinct of survival.

[@marriagepartnersministry5942]

John, you gave it your all. The consolation prize is that you can hold your head up high in full confidence that you did your best.

[@john-griffin]

You know it!

[@shaunsmith18]

I was married 11 years. I knew 3 years into it that it had failed. My wife manipulated me into a man she thought she wanted me to be, and things went to hell very quickly. I was miserable, but somehow I fought to save my marriage. I gave everything for her happiness. My efforts were met with no appreciation and her telling me I needed to work harder while she sat on her lazy ass. I paid a high price for not vetting her longer than 2 years.

[@john-griffin]

Me too

[@36handy]

It takes longer than 2 years to vet. Triple it and things start showing up for both.

[@tombkk1322]

I’m at the 4 year marker and seeing big changes for the worse.

[@36handy]

@ - yes. That when the magic wears off (the sex) and reality starts to set in.

[@urtyp6596]

Mr. Locario says 5 years for marriage. 1 year for girlfriend.

[@ttocselbag5054]

“It’s not what happens to you, it’s how you deal with it.” Ain’t that the story of life my brothers, we get bombarded and blamed from all sides, regardless of what we do or don’t do!!!

[@dont6441]

After my first divorce, I promised myself I would be sure to marry the right girl if I got married again. Didn't date for several years and when I did, I was careful to learn from my previous marriage to avoid a similar outcome the second time. Then I married my dream girl and I was ecstatic. That marriage didn't last as long as the first. The takeaway here is you never really know the woman you married until years later when she asks for a divorce. Stay healthy and stay single my brothers.

[@ivanguban7143]

Thank you for reminding me not to get married again.

[@john-griffin]

That is so true!

[@Grow_Win_Up]

You don’t meet your “wife” at the alter you meet her in court. (The actual person) The woman you marry isn’t the woman you divorce.

[@PricelessSpits]

Brutal story and thanks for sharing. This really helps guys like me. 10 years of marriage sure seems like a common time range when the divorce talks start showing up. Mine started in 2015 and divorced 2019. Yeah had to go through 4 years more years of misery before I was finally set free. Since my divorce 6 years ago, I’ve been the best dad I can be to my daughter. And nothing will get in between my daughter and me even when my EX keep telling her negative things about me. My success since my divorce has angered my EX. I guarantee it. I am still at war but the battlefield has changed a bit.

[@john-griffin]

I hear you, man! Glad you're doing well

[@truthtelleranon]

They say “Love is War”. Never understood it as a kid. I do now.

[@racebannon96]

It is great to hear success stories after being divorced. The ex- wife went nuts when she realized that she no longer had control of me and our kids after she left us.

[@PricelessSpits]

@@racebannon96 You nailed it! When my ex figured out she couldn't control me 100% she just slowly gave up completely! nuts!

[@PricelessSpits]

@ same here. I had no idea. Wasn't there a movie with Danny DeVito called War of Roses? remember that?

[@bobhouse9331]

37 year old in Washington State briskly walking through the forest listening to you John, spot on again, you're one of the only creators that keeps me on the platform.🎉

[@jonmueller2117]

You described my last 30 years perfectly.

[@DUNEATV]

Unbelievable John! Im sorry she hurt you bro. My wife basically did the same thing to me. She also left our two daughters with me…thank God. Now my life is so fun and our house with my daughters and our dog is full of love! The crazy one left! 🤣

[@allseeingotto2912]

Great result 👍🏻

[@ivanguban7143]

I wish my ex would run way with some cowboy and leave kids to me.

[@john-griffin]

I know what you mean

[@sciflyer67]

These videos are gold! You should put these into some sort of audiobook encyclopedia. We're practically the same age, and after going through my divorce, I can relate to practically all of it.

[@violeteyes5255]

The moral to not only this story of yours, but to all of your stories is, "DON'T GET MARRIED." But unfortunately, with a lot of men, it will go in one ear and out the other and down the road more than likely most of them will end up getting raked over the coals and getting that Judicial System Octagon beatdown in divorce court. My divorce was 41 years ago last month and I've been happy ever since.

[@mr.goldenproductions_0143]

Agreed but the way you described it as "judicial octagon" really made me chuckle. That you Sir!

[@gvis3880]

Very true, even men who are aware of the risks still decide to get married, thinking their unicorn will be different. Many men deserve the divorce misery they get.

[@karentonks7581]

John the truth is you sound like a phenomenal man

[@Ajax-t1q]

Yes agree, the amount of gratitude/love expressed by the broken men he helps out is the indicator of authentic.

[@NicholsonNeisler-fz3gi]

“She blamed me for getting married…” that sums it up

[@clintpot8521]

Definitely can resonate with the idea of reclaiming my power after feeling like the marriage broke me financially, emotionally, and sexually (sexless marriage for 11 years. Not what I signed up for!), while she sits there happy because she is getting everything she wants. Learning to assert my own boundaries again so I don't repeat these mistakes in the future and so I honor my goals and standards of behavior. My dreams are just as important as hers.

[@36handy]

Its funny the withdraw from sex is no big issue with women and a shrug of the shoulders. But if men withdraw something its the biggest issue going.

[@clintpot8521]

@36handy I'm glad you mentioned that. I finally cut off sex about 2 years ago and I noticed she started to correct her behavior only when I acknowledged it and moved on from her sexually. It's almost like she finally realized how painful rejection feels when I started showing no interest in sex with her, but not before.

[@JoeGuapo]

11 yrs is crazy.. I’d give a girl 11 days before I end up inside another women

[@ivanguban7143]

Be careful with a sex thing, my neighbor guy had similar problem, his wife quit giving him, so he forced himself on top of her, the next day he was cuffed and put in jail for raping his wife. Unbelievable story.

[@Logan24855]

“Suffering is a school, Trauma is a teacher” - Robin Sharma Going through a thing myself, I definitely learned my lesson.

[@armloy]

Another great video. Thanks for sharing, John. A week until we close on the townhouse she’ll move into. Have had some super dark days, but now I’m so looking forward to being single. Mediation is still lingering in the near future. Will no doubt lose a TON, but I am hopeful about rebuilding. She’s already with someone else and we’re not even divorced yet. I know I’m over it 100% because when she said she’s going down to stay the night at his place, I said “ ok, give him my love.” 😂. I’m concentrating on my relationship with my kids and that makes me feel super fulfilled. Not wasting time with my soon-to-be ex anymore.

[@john-griffin]

Good for you!

[@PricelessSpits]

OMG reading this makes my feel (not so alone). 3 months after my divorce my EX knocks on my apartment door and tells me she is in a serious relationship. LOL! very serious and stern... and my reply, "good for you I am happy for you." Of course I couldn't care less that some weak beta male fell for her......... these beta males are standing in line to be controlled. not me! You'll get through this just make sure you for sure do Mediation because that will save you money (that's what I did). Didn't go as well for my older brother. Lawyers took half his house equity in the end. hang in there.

[@ryuhoshi3419]

So the my wife(soon to be ex in ur case) sleeping with her bf seems to ring true ya. I have a feeling it is more common than we think. At least, more common than my husband sleeping with his gf.

[@inthebreeze1973]

Hi John, greetings from the UK.. I'd just like to thank you for your very informative, educational and inspirational talks, they have helped me through a very recent relationship break-up! Thanks again mate. All the best!

[@john-griffin]

Many thanks!

[@michaelsherry4764]

“If you change the way you see things the things you see will change“… I have forgot where I read that …Thanks, John😎

[@Slamitdownhard]

You really can't always control what happens to you, but you can control how you think and react to it. I told myself if I can keep my sense of humor through my divorce than I have won the battle. Great content John, you give men hope for a better future.

[@racebannon96]

The ex-wife left us for an alcoholic on dialysis. Never interrupt your enemy when they are screwing up.

[@SilverGritty]

@@racebannon96my ex-wife (57 year old) left me for a 72 year old, chronically ill, retired with a low/fixed income man. He’s her artsy soul mate. I was totally blindsided. They are unreliable and unpredictable.

[@violeteyes5255]

What I've learned out of my divorce and also dating after my divorce is that it doesn't pay to be nice to women, they're going to dump on you anyway. Women have dug that hole of delusion so deep there's not a ladder long enough to put into that hole for them to crawl out of, and it's only going to get worse. Therefore, I gave up completely, 100%, and low and behold, found my happiness within my solitude. Simplicity, that's the answer to my happiness. When have you ever know a woman to make anything simple? Never!

[@36handy]

Be nice but know your boundaries. There is a big difference

[@ryuhoshi3419]

Especially true when growing older and lower libido. Men are just blinded by sx drive

[@ma3stro681]

Exactly! A bachelor living in solitude is bliss … 🎉

[@anthonymurray742]

The most important thing after living with a BPD girlfriend was taking full responsibility for allowing myself to accept the maddness of others.lts incredibly liberating once the blame has been put back on oneself.

[@howardbarrett9131]

Sound masculine advice. I like that: "challenges are gifts." Inspirational. What a great way to look at each day going forward.

[@violeteyes5255]

It's better to get that divorce and take the hit financially than to continuously feel like you're drowning in a miserable marriage. Believe me, I know. I took the hit and moved on with my life as a single man and now I'm a thousand times better off than I was being in that chaotic marriage. I have absolutely no regrets. It's so nice to actually be happy.

[@johnmanning4097]

I am going through a divorce now…I filed for divorce last June…. It’s costly and has been stressful, but it feels good knowing I might be halfway through it, and I believe you when you say take the financial hit now… to have happiness later instead of being in a chaotic marriage.

[@violeteyes5255]

@johnmanning4097 Hang in there, brother. Things will get better. Just let go and turn your back on it and keep moving forward. Put it out of your mind, and don't dwell on it. Fill that void with the things that you want to do. Time will pass, and she will only become part of your past. Think positive. It works.

[@Ajax-t1q]

Yes agree, as well there is time , as in every day is one less . You can always make more money but nothing can be done about the relentless march of time.

[@johnmanning4097]

Thanks 👊🏾….. I appreciate that…..This Divorce has been a Hell of a Journey…. but for the most part, I’ve stayed positive. Try to hit the gym as much as I can to keep my mind off of things also watching John’s videos help a lot and I just keep thinking that I will be free sometime the end of this year. HELL YEAH

[@violeteyes5255]

@johnmanning4097 Keeping level-headed about all of it is very important. It's not only good for your mental status; if you were to do anything rash, she would only use it against you. Keep doing what you're doing and stay as positive as you can. Eventually, she will be gone, and you can move on with your new life. During a divorce, you have to be there for yourself because almost 100% of the time, no one is there for the man. Stay strong, brother; better days are right down the road, I promise.

[@harryholiday5356]

I was married in the mid-60's and it was just the same as now days. My wife was just like the women of today, but I thought she was unique, and other women were more family oriented. I must have been naive to the ways of the female of our species. I had to pay considerable moneys for many years but at least found contentment. Since that time, I have been amazed at the price of contentment for a man. Life goes on.

[@davegayaldo]

A commonality of all these issues is very interesting. Every man that’s gone through the divorce process surely can relate. When your ability to articulate these issues, you’re really doing all this great honor and service to all men. The more you fear, divorce, the more you fear being alone, the more you’re going to have to deal with it.

[@DBTwister]

They always leave when you are at your lowest and need them the most. The minute you are back on your feet and/or doing well again - then they are back! Very predictable.

[@Cold_Hard_Truth]

Bingo! When they see the power shifting back in YOUR favor, they start worming their way back into your life. Be careful! Stay strong, don't relent.

[@heloramos82]

It is not your job to make an unhappy person happy. And if this person is unable to find happiness by herself or himself it is also not your fault. As a mother I fell sorry for her, being a mother made me a better person. I can't imagine being without my boys. They are precious. I knew they before they were even born. When a woman leaves when you are broke it is because she was never interested in being a part of your life. I met my husband when he was broke.

[@bradgraystock5966]

We need more women like you but unfortunately you are the exception to the rule.

[@bryanglass5818]

Your bounce back gives me hope for my future! Thanks for sharing this story.

[@john-griffin]

You’re welcome! It’s a tough road but there’s light at the end of it.

[@robertbowen171]

Great, timeless message. Thanks

[@john-griffin]

Thanks

[@PetrVita]

The shift in view is key when you are in that deep hole. The situation is neither bad, nor good, it is neutral. It is our labeling it how we perceive it. I could cry over broke family, lost wife and out future together, lost house and in this light label the situation disaster. Instead I decided to see lost 20 kg of weight, relearning to drive the car, the new better job, much better relationship with my kids and suddenly it was not so bad anymore...

[@robertduda6336]

Our stories are pretty much the same, but she pulled the parachute cord from the penthouse. The most insane thing is hearing from this woman who had everything and anything at her fingertips can look you in the eye and tell you she’s not happy and that you are controlling and abusive.

[@anaestereo810]

Accountability is kryptonite for some ppl... And secretly, we all admire those that have it.

[@ericlee419]

Gents, read the book the manipulated man. written in 1971. its a good one. written by a woman. hits on alot of points you bring up.

[@tacey01]

John I have gotten more perspective and good judgement from your videos than all of the counselors who I have seen. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! 🙏🏻

[@john-griffin]

Thanks, I’m glad that you’re enjoying the videos

[@tacey01]

@ if you’re being genuine with us, and not just creating content to draw viewers and clicks, then please believe me, i appreciate you. The ‘counselor community’ is worthless to me (in my experience). If I had had the benefit of your channel earlier ( about six *years* ago, i would have been more n a far different path! I’m blessed to be able to consider all my options now, and not having to be subject to a counselor who *yawns* during my session! God bless you and your efforts!

[@RG-cz1tc]

Hi John; really helpful video, starting and finishing with the example of your military friend. I watch your videos in the morning while making myself a great breakfast. I learned years ago to enjoy cooking for myself, not depending on someone to cook for me, and it is very satisfying. Your video is a great way to begin the day, very positive. I have known a couple of brilliant doctors as friends, who let their failed marriage destroy them. I wish they were still around to watch your video. Of course, their ex wives survived. I will watch your video several tiimes, there is such positive messaging!

[@roguepill]

Needed to hear this today! I’m going to turn these obstacles into opportunities to expand, grow and learn. Thank you so much this valuable wisdom today

[@john-griffin]

I'm glad it helped.

[@violeteyes5255]

You should never depend on someone else to make you happy because they will only eventually fail you because that person you're depending on is only human, not a circus clown. Besides, no one can make you happy, you have to decide whether or not you're going to be happy. It's up to you, not to someone else. Also, when a woman says, "I want to find a man who's going to make me happy", what she's doing is putting a thousand-pound weight on that man's shoulders and then expecting him to perform for her like a circus clown. So, what happens when that man she's made into a circus clown runs out of ideas? She punishes him by divorcing him. Guys, if you ever hear a woman say those words, "I want to find a man who's going to make me happy", you need to run away from her because she's going to be the one who will destroy your life. Women have a lot of delusional thoughts rattling around in their brains. Like the woman who has been married for a while and says these words, "I want it to be like it was when we first met." If she says those words, your marriage is doomed. The best way to prevent any of the above things is to never get married.

[@alansewell7810]

I have a Vietnam Veteran friend like the one you mentioned. He was an artillery spotter out in front of the American lines who called fire on the North Vietnamese and Viet Cong. Artillery spotters were the priority targets for the enemy to kill, and the lifespan of most was a couple weeks. He was wounded a couple times but survived. I asked if he was ever scared. He said, "No, I didn't have time to think about being afraid, I was too busy doing my job." A brave, brave man, and very successful after he came home. But for many young Americans, it was a tough, sad war. Those my age (mid 60s) are thankful we were a couple years too young to have to go there. btw. regarding your ex-wife, did she start drinking or taking prescription meds when the baby came? If so, that could explain the sudden darkening of her personality.

[@slawomirtokarski]

I had very similar situation in my marriage and have better life now. Thanks for all you thoughts you are sharing with us... You are helping people in difficult time of their life...

[@outtahere321]

John, a lot of things you say are like healing ointment to a wound. You make a difference in people's lives with your perspectives you share. God bless you for sharing and encouraging men who have been through difficult things in their lives. I went through a terrible divorce after 17 yrs of marriage and after about 15 years being alone, I feel much stronger mentally and the experience although difficult has made me better with God'being there for me and encouraging words from men like you.

[@thesecretproject_1316]

Love hearing you tell your stories brother. Much love.

[@john-griffin]

I’m glad you liked it!

[@Drumbeat52]

My son married into a wealthy family, and he was not secure financially at 37 years old. I never met her or the family, he always had an excuse why I couldn't visit (I didn't know they were wealthy at the time.) Long story short, he left me out of the wedding. We haven't talked in 7 years, When I found out the situation, I knew right away that union would not last. He gave up any power he had as a man, she married down he married up. She only needed him for one reason, children. She was 35 years old when they got married. Her daddy owns their 2-million-dollar home. I may never find out the truth but just by my experiences and listening to everyone else's experiences the math doesn't look good for him. I guess ole dad didn't have the money to run with that crowd, but neither did he.

[@clearsailing7993]

When you marry for money, you pay for every penny.

[@Drumbeat52]

@@clearsailing7993 My feelings exactly.

[@rostamr4096]

Thank you so much, I hope you know how helpful these videos are. I am going through very difficult times, and I hope I can have enough motivation to start again. She has destroyed me and I am mentally drained.

[@Arabdude2007]

Seen people go homeless and die after their marriage ends but seen others prosper in the gym and the bank.Choice is yours of course ,I became a beast after my marriage even after loosing my shirt in divorce court .

[@nolianpazac8440]

Teaching sons how to select for marriage is the most important lesson fathers should give

[@929cbr_rr]

There's no such thing as selecting the correct one. To say that is to imply you can predict the future. Good luck with that.

[@GoogleUser-td1ic]

Thanks for sharing your story with us. Real experiences leave deeper impressions in our heads as to do what is right.

[@haberganza]

Every time I watch your videos I feel like I'm listening to my grandfather talking. Thank you.

[@Warp75]

JG knocked it out of the park with this vid 👌🏻

[@PspTomisi]

Amazing video as always, at first i wasn't really into watching such relationship experts video, but it turned out to be a blessing in so many ways, 10 years ago i was with a narcissist and i broke things up 4 years ago, found someone who truly cared for me and i messed things up because i was trauma bonded. then i started watching a lot of you tube videos and some Christian videos about relationships and marriages, i learnt a lot, and something actually happened as well, i was able to get my ex back with the help of watching Matthew Hussey and Courtney Ryan videos and reaching out to a spiritual counselor.

[@laurawheeler-px6oz]

its difficult to let go of someone you love, i have been battling with a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended a year ago, and till now, i am still in the crossroads on what to do, it is really sad

[@PspTomisi]

offcourse, it is always difficult to let go of someone you love , like i said, i watched so many helpful videos, but the key was the spiritual counselor

[@laurawheeler-px6oz]

What spiritual counselor? how can i reach him or her?

[@PspTomisi]

Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex

[@laurawheeler-px6oz]

Couldnt find her on youtube, but saw her website online, i will reach out. thank you.

[@hannoolinger]

Wow John! An excellent video. I appreciate what you share. Thank you. 🙏🏻

[@rixabengoza2111]

thanks John, appreciate all your effort to enlighten us young men to stay single and choose peace of mind above anything else

[@ccparker8850]

Your comments abt dealing with adversity are accurate. We can choose how to deal with events. Your successful veteran friend apparently dealt well with trauma. But all ppl are dealt different cards to play. There are major differences in temperament and life experiences. There were over 49k suicides in '24. A lot of ppl. Abt 80% were male. The rate for ppl age 85+ is very high. Older males more at risk. Not everyone has the same skill set to adapt to severe adversity. Everyone knows that being fat, not exercising, smoking, and drinking to excess is unhealthy. Yet millions of ppl 'choose' to do those things. Acting in your own best interest can be challenging. I have known of vets who self deleted. Shocks to the nervous system can be permanently altering. Just not visible like a severe physical injury. Betrayal and abuse in romantic relationships can shock some ppl deeply. Many comments here reflect that damage. We can all strive to be better ppl tomorrow than we are today. It can be tough, very tough. 🤔

[@paulf2123]

This was so good on so many levels. Thank you

[@TheAussieLegend]

Good video John. You’re great at articulating yourself. Look forward to keep seeing you growing so fast on YT. Thanks

[@mxrandolph4539]

Great video. You have to manage your grief and always move forward, no matter your age.

[@odingamubutu3187]

Another interesting point is to avoid problems as much as possible

[@RedERscrubs]

Thanks for all that you do, John.

[@john-griffin]

I'm glad you liked it!

[@TrailerYacht]

Best video of yours so far John. I REALLY needed this right now. Thank you.

[@Sabadiver]

Another good one John 👍🏻

[@john-griffin]

Thanks

[@dbcooper7359]

I appreciate your attachment and appreciation for your dogs. They are arguably our best companions. It can be difficult living alone. There's abt 38 million single-person households. Like you, I have had dogs virtually all of my life. They have added immeasurable value to my quality of life. I enjoy watching your dogs doing their doggy thing and happily wagging their tails. Have never understood ppl who didn't appreciate companion animals. Even if they didn't choose to have any themselves. Suspect there's something fundamentally missing in their personalities. 🤔

[@WilfTompkins5546]

Dogs see you as their pack leader and feeder. But they exist in a parallel universe. They don't give a shit about giving you their fleas or ruining your furniture.

[@dschefers9700]

John I believe what you lived through is a very common situation. You choose the best path out by focusing on self betterment and your kids. I will say that allowing her to be apart of your life though holidays and birthdays are not a good idea. You are a caring person and that is commendable. But her problems should not pollute your life.

[@peterquill2131]

Facing and accepting my failure in our marriage gave me closure. In retrospect all red flags were there but I ignored them. My goal was set to build a family and my stubbornness and nativity came in the way of reality. Unfortunately some of us had to learn life the hard way ;)

[@john-griffin]

I’m sorry you had to learn the hard way.

[@onesri6108]

With all that walking on the woods, have you ever seen the BIG FOOT?

[@john-griffin]

No, but I’ve seen a few coyotes foxes, lots of deer, raccoons, beaver, squirrels, buzzards, hawks, Falcons, and owls. Plus more squirrels than I can count.

[@Ajax-t1q]

Funny, he would be able to help big foot out with any hairy fem situations. 😁

[@mikejames9642]

Good message John! Our ex wives have been running pretty close with personal issues up to today, but I think yours passed mine on the immature and emotionally unstable scale. You are a good man!

[@john-griffin]

I'm glad you liked the video! Thanks for watching!

[@claudenobles779]

18:42 imagine a seesaw your perception is the fulcrum, you can adjust position of the lever on the fulcrum. On the left is who you are now, on the right are situations occurring .... this an analogy i am fleshing out

[@marcusstrada]

After my divorce I went from looser to successful man on every aspect of my life.

[@john-griffin]

Greatest feeling in the world

[@marcusstrada]

@@john-griffin hi, a good topic could be the people that stick around just not to die alone, in theory.

[@Lords254-SirBob]

This has been rather helpful and informative.

[@alexanderlevatte367]

Didnt want to listen to this John, but glad I did. Year 3 of the legal process. Thanks for your perspective and insights.

[@glengraham7681]

The most important lesson: Go online and see the 100's of Prenuptial Agreements. If you had a Prenupt -- you could have broken up much sooner while saving your assets or alternatively - a man with a prenupt will have better BOUNDARIES and not tolerate disrespect. Please do a video about Prenupts You've got this!

[@davidpeck7836]

Thank you, John, you are helping me through a tough time

[@john-griffin]

You are so welcome

[@Ja50nkAt]

Resilience, an underrated trait every man should be looking for in a woman. It might mean you have to test her, give her some adversity and see how she responds. That's honestly wild that he got custody of two girls while he was unemployed, was she breaking down mentally or something?

[@Freedom-Fighter1]

As the years went on, I think my ex purposely went out of her way to make things more miserable. She never had a kind word to say and would always pick fights. Looking back I think it was that she was too much of a coward to say she wanted out of the relationship, so she made me miserable enough until I said we’re done.

[@youareIndenial981]

Thanks, John.

[@SJinspiration777]

Great message! 💗🙏💗

[@daveclarke5512]

Thankyou John

[@aminai8581]

Can’t Thank You Enough John

[@john-griffin]

Thanks I’m glad you enjoyed it

[@aminai8581]

@ it had extremely important guidance to survive and to be successful in life for which I feel grateful

[@GBU61]

Generally speaking (95+%) women turn out to be more trouble than they are worth. Not once have I met one and thought to myself, “boy she really has her life in order.”

[@zack1610]

@@GBU61 I notice this about the majority of women today. They have all the resources and education at their finger tips but they still can’t walk a straight line. Why is that?

[@knutbraa3677]

I don't agree with everything you say in many of your videos, but some of them really resonate with me. This one is a good example. I'm a veteran myself and have carried things with me from over 40 years ago and I've done well. I absolutely see that what you say is also true in other contexts. It's all about how you deal with it. I have to watch this video a couple of times.

[@victorbrown7599]

“Our actions may be impeded but there can be no impeding our intentions or dispositions. Because we can accommodate and adapt. The mind adapts and converts to its purposes the obstacle to our acting. The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.” Marcus Aurelius

[@ApexGaming100]

Hey John, im 27, and i have been a subscriber for some time now, and im glad you created this channel to help young guys like me to understand female nature better :)

[@john-griffin]

Thanks

[@mightywurlitzer]

any story that includes "so then they moved to Florida..." never ends well

[@john-griffin]

So true!!😂😂😂

[@stuartramsay6550]

A compelling video, very much appreciated.

[@LifeLift421]

Hello John, thank you for the videos brother. Your videos have helped me tremendously through this time. Currently I’m struggling with the fact that everything I’ve built over the years with my soon to be ex wife including my kid I will loose. My soon to be ex lives now in a different country and at 41 I am having to start from scratch basically after having everything one man could possibly want. No debt, no mortgage great savings, etc. can you make a video that focuses on the starting over aspect of divorce. To make things worse I am not even working at the time because that too came to an end. It seems like it all hit me at once. I feel lost but hopeful. Thank you.

[@howiesfunware]

I always enjoy hearing about your ex-wife's fall from grace and asking to come back. I don't understand what would be stressing her out. The only thing on her plate that I can see is that she has to support herself. That's just being an adult.

[@john-griffin]

Yes, I agree

[@Scorned405]

You got the babies!!!!❤❤❤

[@Greentunic84]

Thanks, John. This was a good message to be reminded of today. Cheers 🍻

[@john-griffin]

You're welcome! I'm glad you found it helpful.

[@thebachelorsupreme]

Don’t Save Her, She Don’t Wanna Be Saved! 😂

[@yippierb]

Great video John, I laughed at how you lucked out by being unemployed at divorce time.

[@john-griffin]

I thought about that luck so many times. If you divorce me five years earlier earlier, it would’ve been debilitating.

[@yippierb]

Haha, looks like I'm about to get debilitated at 67. But hey,I'll be happy. My kids love me and she'll be alone and whatever ​@@john-griffin

[@hemmingwaysbrother98]

There is objective truth but our perceptions often deceive us and the gap between them is the root of our problems. The inability to emotionally deal with the difference is what you are describing.

[@jameshogue6814]

I talked to a guy yesterday that said his bad marriage led him to personal growth & a new good woman.

[@paulwerdak5888]

Tell him to enjoy the new good woman and NOT to marry her.

[@donaldball6671]

Good one today. Lots of great insight. I defiinately needed this one.

[@john-griffin]

I'm glad you got something out of it!