How my insomnia ended (watch until the end)

Who's been on the insomnia recovery path for some time knows how tricky and paradoxical the whole situation is. To sleep, you need to stop trying, to stop trying - you need to show the brain that there is nothing to worry about and to do that we need to accept, and to do that... It may seem like a never ending cycle, but today I am going to show you how it ended for me.
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DISCLAIMER: Not medical advice. Everything on this channel represents personal opinion and experience and is provided for informational purposes only. The author is not a medical doctor, psychotherapist or any other licensed professional. Any information on this channel does not constitute and/or substitute medical, psychotherapy, counselling or any other professional advice and treatment. It is not intended to treat, cure, diagnose any medical or psychological condition or disorder. Always seek professional licensed help if you have any health concerns.
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What to watch next
How to stop fearing insomnia: • How to stop fearing in...
Behavioural principle #1 to recover from insomnia: • Behavioural principle ...
Anxiety about anxiety: • When insomnia takes a ...
What to read next
Perfectionism and insomnia: www.sleepcoach.sk/perfectioni...
On the “sandstorm”. When you have no idea what to do: www.sleepcoach.sk/sandstorm-d...
3 reasons why we feel worse after a night of good sleep: www.sleepcoach.sk/sleep-anxie...
My other resources & links
💌 Weekly Newsletter (Sleep Talks Letters): sleeptalks.substack.com/
👋 Follow me on Instagram: / sleeptalks.ali
❤️‍🩹 Read my insomnia recovery story: www.sleepcoach.sk/my-insomnia...
📣 Work with me (1-1): www.sleepcoach.sk/contact-me/
Special thanks to Sarah, Santiago, Gigi, Liza, Anna and Michael for supporting me on Patreon - you are the best!
If you wish to support my work on Patreon too ❤️: / sleeptalks

[@billymoretz2292]

Insomnia has fucked up my life … keep strong fellow insomia victims

[@FearlessSleep]

So sorry to hear that! Hope you will find relief on your journey 🙏

[@mrfernandog123]

Have you gotten better bro??

[@peterlegg1039]

I've Had insomnia 4yrs after withdrawal of amitriptyline

[@rebekahbrown4052]

Surrender is what is difficult about trauma survivors and insomnia. Surrendering is the one thing we do not ever wish to do

[@brandonlance3601]

5 months ago when I started watching your videos I had no idea what giving up really meant, what effort really meant. In the past few days I finally ran out of steam.. now I know what it means to truly surrender. A bitter sweet blow to my war effort, but peace is better than continuing an unwinnable war. Thankyou for your beautiful, kind and generous heart.

[@IrishMexican]

I agree that ppl need to go through some of it first, but I think videos like this can cut down on the years of searching. By truly knowing there is nothing we can do.

[@FearlessSleep]

I really hope (and believe) that knowledge sharing can shorten the journey to some extent! I can't imagine where I would be right now without things that I learned about sleep and the mind - something that someone else has come up with! In fact, nothing from what I talk about is something brand new - I keep seeing the same takeaways in ancient philosophies!

[@IrishMexican]

@@FearlessSleep Same here haha. I figured people have been around long enough to understand deep issues.

[@user-kp5im7dy9s]

​@@NinaSitum-hn7ynwe don't have to compare ourselves with others every one's journey is unique just don't think about the outcome ((real surrender)) accept your bad feelings and emotions live your life normally and with time things will be much better

[@hibaimene9684]

@@IrishMexican "nothing we can" do breakks my heart

[@yessir.1z]

⁠@@hibaimene9684there’s beauty in letting go

[@snowstormwishxoxo5459]

Pray to Saint Jude for insomnia relief I'm telling you I did it and fell asleep so fast. He is so amazing he is such a strong and attentive patron Saint!!

[@halinasegal7124]

Wow....that is deep. Thank you for encouraging. Will keep going. I Have the opportunity every night!

[@philoza1000]

Guy Matthews book 'The Sleep Book' echoes your ideas totally. It advocates a blend of acceptance and mindfulness.

[@user-te3dx3hw3q]

Brilliant insights, much appreciation 🙏✨️🕊🕊🕊

[@julla1416]

Great video!! Thank you.

[@magically_]

this makes so much sense.. thank you

[@ladam9164]

I love your videos, thank you. What was particularly interesting to me was the point about the misleading solution ‘all I need to do is nothing and that’ll fix it’ is a really good point. I feel like if you think is you then have massively heightened expectations that every night is going to be a great night and your brain then starts to get disappointed if it isn’t, which then triggers disappointment and risks sending you back into the cycle. It feels like acceptance that there is nothing you can do also comes along with acceptance that bad nights will happen, and they are not anyone’s fault, they are not going to make or break you, and it’s okay to feel a bit rubbish from time to time about it. A bit like anything in life!

[@guylainelamoureux]

Wow. It’s hard sometimes to quiet the brain in its quest to solve the insomnia but it is so worth. Thank you Alina.

[@catherineturner22008]

Thank you so so much for this video, it helped me so much when I was in a desperate place. Thank goodness for kind people like you who take the time to help others ❤

[@Cashy770]

Very grateful for your cotnect Really encouraging and hopeful

[@lisakember567]

Watching this is so timely - today I had a moment of thinking that I just don't care anymore about insomnia. Over the past few months of struggle I have shown myself I can still function on little sleep, I have tried doing so many things that haven't worked so why should I waste anymore time looking for more solutions? I need to live my life. I can still live my life with insomnia and if the insomnia fades away eventually then that will be a bonus.

[@hugotielen]

Brilliant Alina, I absolutely love the ending. 😊

[@FearlessSleep]

Thank you Hugo! 😊

[@heroedeleyenda79]

Such good video. You're saving us years of suffering. I'm at a phase in my insomnia journey where I sleep well for the most part with the occasional night of very little sleep once or twice per month. I've noticed that with the realization that there is nothing you can do to force sleep to happen, whenever I experience a "bad night" I'm less and less emotionally charged and sure thoughts about sleep and worse case scenarios always repeat after a "bad night". Again great video, video quality and sound are superb.

[@FearlessSleep]

Thank you Santiago! Knowing the ultimate truth about sleep does lower anxiety. Guess how many areas of life can work on the same principle!

[@lancewest2389]

Me right now *hug* your not alone

[@heroedeleyenda79]

@lancewest2389 Thank you. It's gotten better for me. It was a bit bumpy a couple of months ago, but I didn't fight it. I keep falling asleep even if I'm thinking about sleep, but I also expect to have sleep disruptions, and I guess I'm getting better at being ok with that. Keep showing up, don't cancel plans, and show up even if you're tired. Allow yourself to feel and experience all aspects of the insomnia ride (emotions, tiredness, etc). Healing does happen with the more bad nights we go through. (The brain says oh well I'm still alive even after so many crappy nights). Hug back at your friend :)

[@alsimanche]

​@@heroedeleyenda79thank you so much for writing this, i really needed to hear it 😢😢

[@heroedeleyenda79]

@alsimanche No problem! The worst is behind us 🙏. Once you find the education on channels like this one and Sleep Coach School by Daniel, things will gradually get better and better for you. Just breath 🌝

[@tessatandler393]

Thank you. I subscribed because it makes perfect sense although I am far away from not desperatelly wanting a solution ,it came to me to surrender and when I can't sleep to accept and say..this is how it is right now...thanks very much

[@mellonhead9568]

Insomnia has destroyed my life making anxiety and depression I've had worse.....but I feel what your saying...... self conscious impedes action and the sub conscious.......I gave up on trying to solve it.... but this makes so much sense..... i will put this control over my sleep disorder to death just like i do my ego

[@BulavintsevaLiudmila]

❤ Thank you for you story! I am glad to understand that I am not alone who struggling with this problem

[@FearlessSleep]

❤️🙏

[@agrowax]

This is great❤

[@Droidzi]

Spot on - thanks for talking us through this complex (or not so complex) situation. I too had to work through endless, tiresome, and ineffective solutions - I couldn't be told to stop seeking - though once you come to this realisation, the surrender is sweet.

[@FearlessSleep]

Beautifully said!

[@lovelysee3780]

I love your approach Coach Alina! I like how you teach based on what our brains naturally do. It’s natural for us to not suppress emotion, natural for us to not have a strict routine when it comes to sleep, it’s natural for us to seek, etc. All these things are not new teachings but thank you for emphasizing them! Seeking or not seeking has been a huge battle for me but once again, neither of them bring sleep and if you do sleep from either, it’s so interesting how the brain can innocently think that’s the solution. It’s like giving yourself permission for anything because nothing brings sleep but our own bodies. From the brain seeing this time and time… and time again (lol) it’ll just start to grow bored with the process as a whole. I like to think that’s for anything difficult or recovery of any kind. Once you’ve gained the knowledge on how the brain and body work, there can still be an up and down period that we have no control over regardless of what you do. You’re brain will just grow bored with it all anyway one day 🤷🏾‍♀️. I used to get so frustrated hearing people say “Just don’t care about sleep and it’ll come back”. They always seem to forget the part that the brain will do that on its own one day, that’s nothing WE have control over. You highlighting this is exactly how that can be achieved ✨

[@FearlessSleep]

Sierra! That’s a wonderful comment! Gonna share it on my Instagram stories ❤️

[@lovelysee3780]

@@FearlessSleep yes, thank you for making that so clear! 😊😊

[@TheJokerGuns]

It Is a very precious video! You are saying many important things. Thank you very much

[@FearlessSleep]

Happy you liked it!

[@kyrareneeLOA]

Thank you... wanting to unwind my brain. Figuring it out is not the way. 🥰 over ten years... ... only soothing myself...helps. No worry thoughts, except that maybe I wont sleep again.

[@chris10isleyen]

This video helps a lot because since I’ve been dealing with this I’ve been heavily obsessed and worried about sleep like at every waking moment and last night (after a good streak the whole week), I didn’t sleep at all and went to work. Part of me is scared but part of me is like “Well, I guess this is just how things are man.”. The only problem I have, is learning to forget about it, I have had tremendous trouble just letting go and to not think about it. Do you have any suggestions? Most say they try to go back to who they used to be before insomnia arrives and that’s what fixes it for them because it’s a mental game.

[@eleanorrigby5759]

Thank you ❤

[@javixavalier4456]

The problem with this idea that insomnia is behavioral is that it’s seems way too convenient. Like you said sleep is something you can’t control and should happen no matter what. Even in the deepest fear and anxiety that i experienced in my life which was so much worse that this insomnia “anxiety”, I was able to sleep without a problem. Because the brain has too sleep no matter what stimulation is going on good or bad. Daniels video on the Bermuda Triangle effect is completely preposterous because he said he even neutral arousal can create insomnia. If that was the case then no one would go to sleep ever. People don’t have routines that create sleep. They sleep in the first place because their bodies create a process to induce sleepiness to begin with no matter what arousing activity they are doing. I for example i my whole life had the worst sleep hygiene yet had the best sleep as far as quality and quantity. It wasn’t until misdiagnosis of anxiety that lead to a medication that caused my insomnia. From there that led to taking different medications to help sleep. The problem wasn’t behavioral but medications that changed the brain. People need to be more aware of what caused their insomnia in the beginning and avoid it in the future and not take sleep medications or anything that affect sleep. Also look out for symptoms that came before or with insomnia. Many medical problems to cause insomnia.

[@Elle-hx8ji]

This comment is so important!

[@Elle-hx8ji]

At the beginning of my anxiety, I slept like a baby. Now? Not so much.

[@heggietje]

This is the best video about solving insomnia I have seen (and I have seen many..). I relate with everything, I am at that phase where I keep thinking that I have solved it and then hitting another speedbump. I have a speed bump every 1 to 4 weeks. And even after watching this video for the first time, I thought: I got it know!! Which I now realize is the same problem.. Thank you for your videos!!

[@alsimanche]

Reading all these comments as someone who also has insomnia, i can relate a lot, especially about when you think you solved it part

[@Faheela_Muzaffar]

Hey Alina! Please answer my questions because I am really desperate at this point. I have been struggling for a month and a part of it is my habit of overthinking. So my question is meditation and working out helps? When my body is tired on a 1 hour commute to work I can’t help but think about how my sleep is going to be tonight. Also, do you discourage naps throughout the day? I feel trapped in something my brain has created on its own.

[@marinamibang9317]

Thanks

[@TaylorQuince19493]

Hi! I contacted you for 1-1. I want to take a gap year due to my anxiety which causes insomnia. The thing is that I'm worries that the lack of schedule will cause more insomnia. Like today, I spent the whole night deciding if I should sleep in tomorrow morning or not and ended up getting no sleep. Nevertheless, I wanted to take a gap year to take my time and see what I should do in life. The lack of schedule can be a benefit but also a problem as I suggested. What do you think? Should I continue taking a gap year then set my own schedule (that I don't have to follow lol)?

[@user-nd3ki2mh9i]

i came back ur channel again after having some anxious thoughts, however i can say that ive been doing so well with those thoughts, i just accept them and don't focus on them and its very effective and ive been sleeping very well for a week now, and i have another question, well ig two questions, first is that my brain always claims that maybe my anxious thoughts have a role of my sleep problems, even when i try to accept them, it always comes back and a more tricky way, like ive been having the thought that what if i don't really have sleep problems but if i keep this thinking it will get worse, it really makes me anxious bcs im still doing well with my sleep, i hope it makes sense, thankss

[@ToroBravo-qu7ed]

Im in the midst of my first large speedbump after 3 months of good sleep. I've been struggling hard now for about 2 weeks after the long period of good sleep where i thought i had it, i thought i knew the secret to sleep and i thought i was almost recovered. Recently i realized that i've been using subtle sleep efforts like sleeping on one side of the bed and using sleeping headphones to sleep with asmr (also because i hate the sound of birds chirping in the morning and realizing that its almost time to get up and i haven't slept one bit). Now im thinking of atleast ditching the headphones and this is creating massive anxiety, i know that i won't be sleeping at all the next few days, which is making me sad, almost like if i was grieving the loss of a loved one. But this is the only way and i guess i have to go through this in order to finally get out of the cycle.

[@FearlessSleep]

the journey is very tough and confusing! we keep uncovering more and more tricks the mind does to make us act, but to me, such realization is a sign of moving forward!

[@T_tintin]

Its scary how relatable you sound.

[@ToroBravo-qu7ed]

@@T_tintin spoiler alert, now i sleep like a baby without nothing. No headphones, no pills, using my phone with blue light, etc. I stopped caring about this months ago and i actually enjoy late night outs and after parties now. Its actually pretty funny to me how scared i was of not sleeping, and now it feels like such a silly thing to be scared of. You will get better, believe me. I came back to this comment because i recieved your notification, i haven't been watching these youtube videos for months. Recovery is real, you just have to ride out the speed bumps, respond correctly, befriend wakefulness and befriend anxiety and you will be fine, i promise.

[@T_tintin]

@@ToroBravo-qu7ed thanks a lot for the assurance and its great to hear you are doing well. I hope I get to sleep without anything too. The thing is staying awake at night gives me massive headaches but ig I need to befriend that too . Seriously this stupid sleep worry needs to end for good . I hope I will be just fine like you too. Thanks again .

[@Idk-pz6vu]

@@ToroBravo-qu7edHow tho!?? Stoping my racing thoughts is almost impossible😞 good for u tho

[@T_tintin]

Its been 6 years of suffering for me. Then it got better somewhere in between and now its returned again. Havent slept like in 10 days. But its true. I was trying all possible ways and failing too. Now my brain is like yea its not in our control but what keeps me up now i think is that how bad my next day will do if sleep doesnt come. Its not like i can make it come. But heating you was truly relieving that my efforts were not useless even though theu seemed useless. I hope i can stop caring too.

[@varadaanirudhan1993]

Hi Alina. I love your videos, they give me hope. I have been experiencing chronic insomnia for about 3 years now. Have you ever experienced paradoxical insomnia? If yes, please comment back or make a video on how to “deal with”/“solve” paradoxical insomnia. Thank you!

[@mrfernandog123]

Have you gotten better ??

[@justmadeit2]

I got 45 minutes sleep last night. Had 2 months of insomnia every night. Some nights 3 hours sleep, many nights 2 hours. My depression has got worse. It’s terrifying

[@deepthoughts8393]

Try RSO ( weed for cancer patients) It worked wonders. I also got into microdosing psychedelics.

[@skylerschain729]

Alina do you think CBT-I techniques like "stimulus control" are types of "seeking?" Would you recommend to someone that they avoid even those methods as a way of problem solving?

[@johnsmusicpassions9740]

what are your thoughts on stopping being frightened of wakefulness but becoming bored or angry at being awake - is it necessary to be enjoying wakefulness or interested in the activity for the brain to be convinced that you are not still fearful

[@IrishMexican]

Great video. Sounds similar to the work by Dr. Amy Johnson “The Little Book of Big Change,” and “Just A Thought.”

[@briechilli4496]

Alina, can i ask please did you at any stage take sleeping medications ?

[@marcrobertson4735]

I've tried and failed for well over 20 years. I've watched your videos over on the sleep coach school channel as well. I've read Set it and forget it, and NATTO ebooks. I feel like i have a very good understanding of what your espousing, yet, even though I may only wake 2 or 3 times during the night, I still crawl out of bed TOTALLY exhausted every morning, just to various degrees. I feel like I have in fact "totally given up" , not consciously thinking of sleeping well or not sleeping well. What else can I do?

[@dutedicaa]

Im that type of guy who almost never write any comment. I have this problem and i’ve tried every guru/monk/specialist idea and end up the same. Im not saying they are wrong, what im saying is that things not worked for me in this way. Listening your videos, i went on the same steps, always trying to find answers, read a lot, watching a lot of youtube specialists on sleep. Nothing works, might work a bit , but then fall down. What i wanna say is that watching your videos helped me the most, is more effective to hear someone who deal with the same problems and finally being free. Hope is a really powerfull thing espacially nowadays where every sleep video most comments are so Sad. When you read them you feel like it never stops and they also over exagerated as you said. Anyway what you’ve done for me been my “aha moment” and helped a lot. Im way better now and sleep normal. You are magic! Wish you all the best things in the world!

[@terminator4974]

Nice to hear you got something working man im looking for my wife just cant stand watching her experience this..

[@dutedicaa]

@@terminator4974 hey sad to hear that is pretty brutal . I don't wanna give any medical advice especially if she hasn't sleep good in a while and she never done something similar before. But will let you know what was really game changer for me 1day after i wrote this. I'm doing wim wof breathing + ice bath ( but atm i keep it arround 11 degree C so not that crazy cold) . I've done this before ( few years ago and i was still doing cold showers almost daily ) so it was easy for me to implement. You can do more research on that and help her start easily with a normal shower followed by a few seconds of cold and see how she tolarate. But untill then she can start easily with his breathing exercies , different than normal . I think he also have an app and youtube videos for begginers. I'm 30 , im doing exercise regulary, i've sleept good the days before so my body isnt weak or so,don't have any other health problem. I just give you and others who read another idea to research and try this first things in the morning,especially if anyone done this before will be easy and really fast changes. Since than my anxiety dissapear complet during days , lowered even more than it used to be before that. And even if before sleep some shiny thoughts appears i just don't try to force anything , just do what i enjoy as she said in her videos. Also reading philosophy helps me with the fear of not happening something to me,but this actually works best now when im in a good position. Last advice if she's like me ,trying to search a lot for answers or something to work and read all the bullshit on the internet,just stop that... This is actually a nightmare who never stops and feed your brain with anxiety and negativity beacuse is pretty hard to find people who said they are good beacuse those usually continued their lifes. So remains those who still struggle and very few who actually got better and write their stories without any bussines reason ( im not saying they don't want to give you help, but they have extra reason behind which is v fair) . Hope she finds her peace and sleep back.

[@LC35202]

Hi Coach Alina, thank you for this insight. I have always struggled with anxiety and found that if I really and truly believed my symptoms were just anxiety and no other medical anomaly or whatever I was fearing at the time, that helped cure the anxiousness. I’m wondering if I can apply this to insomnia as well. So, really and truly believing that my insomnia is not unique could aid in this problem ?

[@LC35202]

That is the real fear. That my insomnia is fatal.

[@FearlessSleep]

@@LC35202 I know this fear, I had it too. I feared that there was something wrong with me or that my body is somehow broken but what kept happening was me panicking most of the nights, yet I kept surviving and sleep would still eventually come in one way or another. This is how I gradually learned that my insomnia was not fatal (though I feared that so much!) - I have been witnessing actually coming out of a night alive (usually anxious but alive!). Our actual experience can serve us a great proof to dispel fears. Hope this helps! And thank's so much for being here!

[@brandonsimmons7481]

I won't lie I've been so frustrated trying to sleep going to the doc getting sleep meds nothing worked it's like I was just laying there with my eyes closed wide awake! And I've been driving myself crazy and I've been so emotional. Thank you I haven't got real sleep yet mine had been more of me having dreams then waking up but not real sleep I'm exhausted so hopefully it'll change if I just give up seeking answers

[@mrfernandog123]

Bro I'm going through the same!! It's fucking horrible so sorry you're going through that... Are you doing better now?????

[@makefoxhoundgreatagain842]

​@@mrfernandog123I got insomnia you fixed yours?

[@theresiasinta7730]

Same here. Sleep meds not working anymore. I hope to meet the Death soon, I feel not being able to sleep for 3 years now... is simply a torture. I feel like I'm living in hell. And people around me living in paradise.

[@johannay2972]

this is probably why today when I realized I wasn’t going to sleep regardless of knowing and trying everything for so long I gave up. I was sooooo upset. I got up to make my food for the tomorrow and do random things since I gave up on trying to sleep and when I went back to bed I fell asleep lol I hope it’s not random luck

[@FearlessSleep]

That's a very common experience. I wouldn't write it off as a random luck. Because it nicely shows that genuine surrender makes sleep so much more effortless

[@noamaviv1216]

When you were in a really bad spell, what was your approach to dealing with the stressful conditions in life? For example, you didn;t sleep at all for a few nights and you had a stressful day of work/school ahead of you. Did you take "mental health days" or just push through the discomfort?

[@FearlessSleep]

Thank you Noam for your question! I will include it in my next Q&A episode!

[@teethree141]

I think everyone who experiences insomnia needs to get their airway checked or get a sleep study done. When you fix issues with your airway, your sleep improves. I had undiagnosed sleep apnea for YEARSSSSSSSSSSSS and thought I was chronically fatigued just due to work. I never got quality sleep. Then fixed my airway and bOOM. I could sleep

[@alsimanche]

I really feel this...sometimes i get a night sleep and then 2 nights afterwards i couldn't sleep at all, it's like evrytime i finally get to sleep, i always start to think about it, how did i get to sleep last night??, Cause i didn't really think about it?, but again, my brain won't stop thinking about getting sleep afterwards, won't stop thinking if the tonight i would be able to sleep or not, and when my brain is already like that, i know exactly that i would spend the whole niht not beinf able to sleep at all, and it's always the case

[@juboo4451]

Hi Alina, if I understand correctly you had insomnia for several years? And just after several years you felt the ultimate "there's nothing I can do"-surrender? So you spent years trying to find a solution? Bc I'm only 2 months in my insomnia and already try to surrender since nothing I try seems to have any effect on my new 0-sleep-every-other-night cycle. But I feel defeated, hopeless.

[@FearlessSleep]

Sorry you are going through that now.. my insomnia didn’t last for years, it took a bit more that a year from start to recovery (you can see the video with the timeline of my journey- I explained it better there) I was also a couple of months in insomnia when I just embarked on the journey of working with hyperarousal and fears. And the process took me months to realize what acceptance and surrender means. It is very difficult indeed to do that when the mind is convinced that you must do something quick to fix sleep.

[@chiatte135]

Great video. But alina i want to ask something. Daytime activity after sleepless night is not enjoyable. I dont perform well i dont enjoy conversations anything. Of course we can do whatever we want but we cant perform as before. So How do you approach ?

[@theresiasinta7730]

I have same question

[@chiatte135]

@@theresiasinta7730 hello. I can tell you i got over from that problem without medicine. You should continue your day as much as you can even you could not sleep night before. Stop safety behavior. Dont answer your brain questions, dont fight with them. Even dont tell yourself ‘ i dont care ‘ all of them are fighting. Just dont do anything about it. When you lie in bed, when the thoughts come, remember sleeping is not up to you, you cannot control it. You know what you can control ? Resting. You can just go to bed and rest, if sleep happens happen if not, not. Wish it helps you.

[@TaylorQuince19493]

Do you think setting an earlier alarm on days where you don't have to go anywhere is better or worse? For example, I have Friday, Saturday, Sunday off. The thing is when I sleep in on Friday morning till 10:45, I can't sleep on Friday night at all. Then if I sleep in on Sunday morning, I won't get much sleep for Monday where I have school and have to wake up early 7:45. Do you think I should set my alarm at 9:00 instead for days off so I can have the sleep drive for the next night? Or will this makes the cycle worse since normal people would not even set alarm on off days.

[@FearlessSleep]

It's neither worse or better. It all comes down to whether it makes sense to you and your life in general, that has nothing to do with the next night sleep. The truth is, early awakening isn't a guarantee of sleep, but thinking that we should wake up early so that we are more likely to sleep the next night can make us feel more hyperaroused, it turns into an effort. I often notice that this pattern arises from what we think about wake up time, rather than the wake up time itself. If you feel like early wakeup time makes sense to you regardless of how you sleep, then there is nothing wrong with waking up early! Does it make sense? :)

[@TaylorQuince19493]

@@FearlessSleep Thanks Alina. I was thinking I should try waking up early and see that it does not help me fall asleep anyways to disprove the belief. Is that harmful? Honestly I spend more time thinking about what time I’m gonna wake up than actually sleeping..

[@FearlessSleep]

You can definitely try it!

[@TaylorQuince19493]

@@FearlessSleep but on the other hand, would you say that setting it as if I didn’t have insomnia would be better? Lol. Sticking to waking up late on days I don’t have class seems more “normal” and less afraid of not sleeping.. If you have to choose, would you disregard the wake up time as if it won’t affect the next night?

[@FearlessSleep]

I feel like sometimes we need to let the mind see for itself that its ideas aren’t making sleep controllable. That’s what I was mentioning in the video (in the end), the brain needs to see it to believe it. So if we have a hope that fixed morning can help fix sleep, we can to dive into the “experiment” - and that can teach the brain that no special sleep schedule is needed :) so it is a tricky thing to recommend a particular action, because in the end it doesn’t really matter what you choose, sleep will happen either way, we just don’t get to know how and when! What gives you more comfort and less pressure? That’s the most important :)

[@rajunand7234]

Hi alina ,, i still wakeup in the middle of the night and not falling back to sleep again (even if i did something pleasant as education suggested),, but in thr past 3 days i woke up and i did watch some tv for hour or two,, and went to bed and fell asleep,, now it has slowly started working I think when i wake up and befriend wakefulness than i fall back asleep but i still do wakeup every night,, iam i on the right track??

[@FearlessSleep]

When we keep comparing ourselves with the "ideal" state, we tend to get off the track. But we shouldn't mistake night awakenings for something unnatural. Almost every night I remember a brief moment when I wake up - maybe I needed to turn on the other side or something, or a blanket feel on the floor. Sleep without awakenings at all seem unnatural and unattainable goal..

[@NinaSitum-hn7yn]

Hi? How are you doing today?

[@manpreet4743]

Hi Alina, will body allow us to befriend wakefulness at night? Since body has already befriended wakefulness in daytime. Extra dose of wakefullness is good for body?

[@FearlessSleep]

Befriending wakefulness has nothing to do with what body does. Sleep will happen regardless of whether you befriend it or not. It just happens that when we are in a more accepting state, the night - however it may look like, doesn't bother us and sleep happens more naturally. But both people with and without insomnia sleep, we simply can't be awake forever :)

[@dalebarr4339]

My sleep is all over the board . Some nights I sleep 5 hours straight through other nights I'll sleep a hour wake up and can't fall back asleep. Other nights 0 sleep . I'm not sure what's going on what to do I try my best to not think about it or how not to think about it nights I get 5 or 6 I feel great and sleep is not even a thought and nights I get 1 or 2 I get a bit frustrated I know I shouldn't but it's hard what do I do and how you was my coach on Daniel's bedtime but still struggling please help

[@FearlessSleep]

It is normal to feel frustrated after a night of no sleep. Not your fault that it happened, sometimes the fear of all nighter is what manifests the all nighters. All nighters in themselves aren't the permanent pattern, the more we see that we can survive any all nighters (validating and not suppressing our true feelings about them), the more at peace we become with the thought of experiencing them. But the moment when that acceptance happens, in an authentic way, the barriers to sleep fall: suddenly, after accepting an all nighter, it disappears! But it doesn't happen fast, recovery has a long tail..

[@deepthoughts8393]

Try weed

[@tjahangon7286]

can we apply this solution to all aspects in life? i mean, the surrender thing

[@logyde8245]

My process is completely opposite to yours. I never seek and I never think about it just use earplugs to not wake up but now I wake up every single night up to 10 times. I don't think about insomnia or anything else...

[@dalebarr4339]

I would love to just get an average or 4 or 5 a night and I know it would get better in time but this 0 or 1 or 2 hrs and sometimes 5 maybe 6 hrs it's frustrating

[@FearlessSleep]

Sadly, we can't control how much we will sleep. If that would be possible, we probably wouldn't have insomnia in the first place.. But I find that making yourself extra comfy on the tough nights, doing whatever you feel like doing (except trying to sleep, because we can't force it) and taking care of yourself is what can help us get smoother through the speedbumps

[@raiswarnim9431]

it's been a week I am going crazy have to fix it your right there is no winning i am always trying to find a a way to focus in my breath now i will not try 😭😭😭 I GIVE UP HOPE I CAN BE FREE LIKE YOU

[@mclovin3649]

Hi, how are you now? hope all is well

[@raiswarnim9431]

@@mclovin3649 yea I am thank you for asking also sleeping well

[@mclovin3649]

@@raiswarnim9431 so happy for you!

[@raiswarnim9431]

@@mclovin3649 yea and how are you

[@zincerish]

How'd u fix it?

[@justmadeit2]

Alina, how bad was your insomnia? How many hours sleep did you get when you had insomnia bad? And how long for?

[@FearlessSleep]

Hi! I think I spoke about it in my "timeline" video, so you can check it out to see what it was like for me. But in short, having an all-nighter, sometimes a few in a row, was a pretty standard experience. Of course, we can't compare journeys, because it doesn't matter whether one struggles with interrupted sleep or with all-nighters, suffering can be felt as strongly in either scenarios. Hope this helps somehow!

[@aethylwulfeiii6502]

Without prescription medications I end up going for days without sleeping straight to the point of sleep deprivation psychosis. Not one doctor I have seen takes the not sleeping part seriously, they just get so focused on the hallucinations and delusions part. I get quite afraid of not falling asleep because the delusions and hallucinations are just really scary. I even tried quitting caffeine to no effect. For me the solution was medications but it’s not bullet proof.

[@FearlessSleep]

yeah, people with insomnia often feel not understood by their doctors, relatives, friends... Glad that you had some relief with a sleeping aid - in some particularly acute moment that can be the thing that can help us feel safe.

[@mrfernandog123]

I'm dealing with the same thing .. I tried a few sleep aids that didn't do much but just sedate me .. what sleep aid helped you???

[@aidamartinez6791]

Very interesting hypothesis. I am glad you are sleeping. Insomnia is awful.

[@khole15]

I have had chronic insomnia for over 20 years, i do NOT have any anxiety of not sleeping. And i dont have trouble falling asleep, BUT i awake after a couple of hours and cant NOT get ANY deep sleep after that, just dreams and awaking every 10 minuttes

[@WishZyrus]

im having the same problem ive tried melatonin and herbal sleep capsule and others but still having a hard time to sleep and when i do i always wake up every 30mins or 1 hour and its hard again to fall back asleep coz my mind is already awake and like havng anxiety of wakng up and worry that i will have a hard time sleepng again, its like im having 4 hours of broken sleep a night i dont know what to do.

[@MizMundoAdventures]

Same 😢😢😢 I don’t feel anxious at all but struggling with sleep. I’m planning to see an endocrinologist cos I think my adrenal glands are overactive or some gland is malfunctioning

[@khole15]

@@MizMundoAdventures Please let me know how it goes! how long have you had this condition ?

[@jamessixx7660]

I struggled with Chronic insomnia for 2 years n 8 months. Still dealing with it kinda I went from days of no sleep 1 of sleep a day. Now i get roughly 6 1/2 -7 hours of sleep per day... My cure.. I stopped taking vaitmin D pills, removed all pills i was taking. I detox by drinking plenty of water. 1. Sun gazing in the morning 2. Quit all drugs ( including alcohol) 3. Eat 3 hours before bed 4. Dont drink anything 2 hours before bed. 5. Sleep at same time in work days and weekends. I had serious withdrawals, i cried many nights, even tried killing myself. In end I beat it. I had hope. I wouldn't wish insomnia to my enemies. It's worst pain one can go through.

[@RAHUL-wr4rt]

I sleep average 4 hours at night

[@jmc8076]

The mind always seeks order even in sleep. - J. Krishnamurti A mind that is seeking anything from outside - a formula, a mantra, or a method - is a crippled mind. A mind that is asking ‘how’ is running in the opposite direction. “How” is our grand escape from seeing reality. - J. Krishnamurti

[@FearlessSleep]

So true! 🙏

[@romanv8046]

By far, the best video on insomnia so far. Well put. Nothing to add 👍👍👍

[@justiinahirvonen4902]

taking a neuroleptic makes me shut down for 8h, so there’s definitely a chemical pathway and a solution, just multifaceted

[@deelicious1610]

My brain hasn’t stopped seeking answers for 37 years. How much longer before it gets bored or wears it self out? 😅

[@__-kf4vp]

hope i dont end up like you 😳 4 years here

[@drmsm1967]

Dear I agree sleep comes spontaneously with no controlled induction. I found a verse in the holy book ( Quran) saying that sleep is solely induced by God ( Allah) and Allah is the one who induce sleep and induce wake up….so just surrender to God who created you and do not bother how to fall asleep:this is the translation of the verse : ﴿اللَّهُ يَتَوَفَّى الأَنفُسَ حينَ مَوتِها وَالَّتي لَم تَمُت في مَنامِها فَيُمسِكُ الَّتي قَضى عَلَيهَا المَوتَ وَيُرسِلُ الأُخرى إِلى أَجَلٍ مُسَمًّى إِنَّ في ذلِكَ لَآياتٍ لِقَومٍ يَتَفَكَّرونَ﴾ [Az-Zumar: 42] (42) Allāh takes the souls at the time of their death, and those that do not die [He takes] during their sleep. Then He keeps those for which He has decreed death and releases the others for a specified term. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought. - English Meanings

[@devinyoung354]

I used to feel this way. Then I actually fixed my insomnia. There is a solution. And you don’t have to be enlightened to engage in a basic biological process.

[@radooche]

I have never had difficulty falling asleep but more waking uo after 3/4 hours of sleep. After i watched your videos i became so self aware about sleep and i started to have sleep anxiety after 3ea days, i started having troubles falling asleep it never happened to me beore. you give info that can mess up our mind about insomnia cause you give no solution just create fear and this mentality of let go ..... anyway i am 100% sure my mindset has changed and became more fearful of insomnia because of your videos

[@user-xy7ok4np9x]

Lol I stopped seeking a long time ago and my insomnia got worse

[@yauhensumouski8015]

Nice russian accent:)

[@Mrkzio]

I didnt understand shit.