How Narcissists Use Your Emotions Against You

[@lo-ul8nq]

My mother is a Narcissist, she is like this in every way and a lot more.

[@Farhood]

Thank you Dr. Fox

[@lo-ul8nq]

Thank you Dr. Fox you're right about everything you said.

[@DrDanielFox]

You are very welcome

[@shar4012]

Ya I remember when I was really young my mom would tell me that she was so happy I was born now she has someone to love her

[@klittle5095]

That's crazy I'm so sorry!

[@ziggyzigg25]

Creates parental alienation along with a deep hatred for the father

[@Savagequeen-c4s]

Why does this sound like a lot of people ? I have met at least a handful in my life. Ahh the narc parent.

[@ElinorRigby]

Literally all people act like someone with NPD under the right circumstances and can easily be seen as toxic or narcissistic on a bad day, like these things can happen in so many other issues or circumstances that the advice becomes meaningless when you associate it with real narcissism. Some people are just bad at handling stress. Like you have to actually meet the DSM criteria, these KZbin videos aren’t any good for diagnosis. A person with NPD would absolutely apologize and many of them are well aware they’re manipulative, while many without NPD can act worse and never meet the criteria. You would need to be an actual psychologist seeing someone over a very long time to know for sure.

[@MentalDeviant]

​​@@ElinorRigby You can still protect yourself and have boundaries with someone that you believe has narcissism. And to me it sounds like you're justifying your behavior or someone else's. Even if you think a person can't help their behavior you should have clear boundaries or remove yourself from that person. I have people in my life with narcissistic tendencies and I've let one of the people know but I don't plan to hang out with them because I don't enjoy it and I haven't. For you to say you can't learn anything from a KZbin video makes you sound really naive or maybe you're a covert narcissist yourself. Sure you can't give them an official diagnosis but We can learn strategies to protect ourself because these people can be really toxic. Plus you want to know what to look for so you don't get in a relationship with them. So I don't understand why you're trying to discredit videos about narcissism on KZbin. This video is coming from a man that I believed to have a good heart and he's a licensed psychologist. And then you're probably an licensed but you say they absolutely will apologize like you have a very big ego. And you're probably basing this on anecdotal evidence from dealing with one narcissist. Not all narcissists are the same and there's overt and covert. There's vulnerable narcissist. There's people with borderline personality disorder that people think have narcissism but they have true empathy. I think I trust him more to decide whether to put this information out there.

[@NightsReign]

​​​ I'm going to assume your intent with OP is the worry that they temper their expectations. In having the veil lifted, they'll begin noticing these markers everywhere (as likely happened with each one of us), and without properly considering the context & nuance, individually, can easily mistake most/all interpersonal interactions for Narcissistic Abuse. Is that an accurate assessment? I am speaking up here because I think the language might be failing us in properly articulating Narcissism & related concepts. I say this because, your statements seemed rather prescriptive instead of descriptive, which would be incredibly confusing for someone like OP, still lacking adequate terminology. I think my main critique would be your use of absolutist terms (e.g. all, every, never, none, always). While it's true that many people have the capacity for acting especially egocentric, depending, and people with one of the other Cluster B personality disorders can utilize the psychological manipulation tactics of Narcissists, (typically learned behavior from having a Narcissistic "guardian" growing up). I believe it's actually harmful to say "literally all people act like someone with NPD...", when that isn't true at all. It's similar to saying Gaslighting & Lying are basically the same thing. Many (hopefully, a majority) people, even when pushed to their absolute breaking point, retain their capacity for empathy & compassion, they don't suddenly lose their humanity & become apathetic sociopaths, solipsistically ready/willing to sacrifice all others for their self-fulfillment. I agree that many with NPD are fully aware that their machinations are harmful, but I do take umbrage with saying "a person with NPD would absolutely apologize". Of the many emotional responses that I've heard anecdotally being possible for a Narcissist to emulate, "contrition" has never been one of them. Matter of fact, it's unanimous that they're inherently incapable of apologizing, the implication being that they aren't the best, or that they weren't right. The closest semblance would be an accusation, blame-shifting, or projection disguised as apology, (e.g. "I'm sorry you feel that way", "I apologize for ___ getting in my way", "If you hadn't done this, everything would've been fine", etc.) Lastly, while I'm loathe to paint with a broad brush, every Narcissist (while they exhibit a dizzying array of seemingly identical traits) is unique in their levels of Narcissism, I'm at a loss as to how someone could potentially act worse than a Narcissist. I mean, I'm absolutely negatively-biased against Narcissists, but even the fringe examples of cruelty or depravity that I can conceive of from non-Narcissists, still involve Narcissistic Abuse to some degree... Y'know, not every Narcissist has the chops to (or would even want to) lead a cult of religion/personality/ideology, but apparently every cult leader historically has had Narcissism in common.

[@i.8885]

because based on dr. ramani, narsiccistic personality is 1/4 people. Only some of them have a disorder

[@jordsupp]

People can have NPD traits without being full-blown narcissists.

[@al8526]

❤ Brilliant video thanks so much

[@Dawnarow]

I like how you were careful about avoiding grand labels. Sadly, this isn't the way we should talk about this. I wish I could tell you what will become of it all, but this is a yt comment... the way we will perceive this is as blocks of information acquired vs not... we'll simply figure out which pieces are missing and explain the progression with the mandatory steps to move forward so that none of the subjects are conflated... At the moment, they've - mostly - just failed on the emotional aspect (and, too often, the means to filter good from bad information on their own [some of the issues come from religiosity and other nonsensical garbage they've learned that goes against their progression] as they didn't affiliate proper feedbacks so they can't Truly empathize... they have "fake" empathy and sympathize at best. Yes, sometimes, they've lived the same issue... but if they have improper means to deal with these issues, they pretend they're helpful and people shrug them off (mentally --> if they even have this. I repeat. If they even have this mental capability to think for themselves. Yes, fully functioning people that seem great and potentiallyare Might not even have that capability... this is why I can't just tell you everything in a yt comment).

[@daniellefragnito6947]

Yes can you please put a video about how they are not all the same? Thank you so much! I love your videos

[@shar4012]

Yes that is so true they can be very superficial if they don't get what they want it's like a switch just turned off

[@User414xz]

Twisted empathy. This. Explains for me so well what I experienced with my ex partner. So confusing and hurting, this is what it was for me. I had to leave to save my sanity. Thank you, sending greetings from Germany

[@mattd6200]

Hopefully this aids you in the future... Fun fact about narcissists: they will tell you, but only on their terms. Source: LiveScience, WebMD, Ohio State University study

[@redleeks6253]

I'ver heard exactly the same about autistic individuals. And the amygdala activity and interpreting neutral facial expressions as it happens in BPD also happening in individuals with social anxiety

[@DrDanielFox]

It's fascinating how different conditions can share similar neurological patterns. Understanding these connections can really help us develop better support strategies for everyone involved.

[@dotdashdotdash]

I find that people who describe themselves as "empaths" are actually covert narcissists. Wolves in sheep's clothing.

[@DrDanielFox]

That's an interesting perspective! It’s always a complex interplay between empathy and narcissism. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

[@NightsReign]

Your observation does seem very plausible though, I think it might have a lot to do with how it is they choose to volunteer such a self-description, as well as their behavior leading up to and following. Personally, I've never been fond of the term "empath", as it leans much too far into the realms of mysticism & spiritual woo for my comfort. I can't say with complete certainty, but it's been my experience, the soi-disant "Empath" title tends to accompany many deeply-seated (affirmative) beliefs regarding Tarot, crystals, astrology, paranormal/supernatural phenomena, along with dogmatic rejection of allopathic medicine, holistically. As I think back on examples, I'm remembering a noticable amount of ego (and identity) being attached to the empath claim. Definitely something worth further scrutiny.

[@thereisnosanctuary6184]

"As an empath..." Then they describe how they left someone who was toxic.

[@nathanventry4693]

This is Distortion regardless of how you want to look at it resulting in Dissonance affecting the (“victims”).

[@blobs9560]

Dr.Fox Thank you BPD with Narcissistic Traits?

[@DrDanielFox]

I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.

[@GretchenVenters]

I feel like my partner has a PD and yet I’m cringing because I’m worried that every time we sit down for dinner he starts talking about how I’m the source of all of his pain and I feel like I’m not showing empathy well anymore because it feels like so much shaming every day. How do I show empathy if the person is expressing pain and blaming it on me? I am not being gentle like I used to be and I want to be more empathic

[@tylermclean4968]

k so i feel your point on ...and i recognize these traits in myself....how do i fikx it

[@DrDanielFox]

It's great that you're self-aware! Acknowledging these traits is the first step. Consider reflecting on them and maybe even talking to someone who can help you work through it.

[@ronit1967]

Please dr Fox make a video about narcissistic daughter, and how shall I cope with her 🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@jordsupp]

Family therapy is a constructive approach: NPD doesn't occur in a vacuum. Your child wasn't born as a narcissist. NPD is another of the Cluster B personalities whose origins develop in early childhood (and hence parental influence and/or involvement). There's no blame, but parents may be unaware of their own behaviours that contributed to the development of NPD.

[@ziggystardust457]

Dude...this is my entire family. *Sigh*

[@DrDanielFox]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts! Family can definitely be a mixed bag of emotions.

[@AA-cb7dz]

Narcissistic parents also make deals with their children. Unconditional love has nothing to do with them.

[@DrDanielFox]

You're absolutely right! It's sad to see how some relationships can be transactional rather than based on unconditional love.

[@klittle5095]

Dr Daniel I'm trying to decide if I should message my grandmother again. She ruined my life a few years ago, but in different now. She's nuch worse than she was when I was there. But I wonder if it would help her for me to message her again. Do you think theres any way to help her just through words, without being around her?

[@mattd6200]

You could give chance another chance? This is easier said than done, but be upfront about being hurt (as long it comes from a place of compassion). If she becomes defensive and can't let go of her defensiveness get out. I'm a Canadian of European descent and these conversations are not easy due to "Everything is fine!" culture. Update me on how it goes, please.

[@My_klei]

Need to catch up😊

[@DrDanielFox]

I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.

[@My_klei]

@@DrDanielFox aww thank you for being here it means so much you will never know

[@brysonmartin5405]

Thank you for this enlightening video, perfectly describes my wife. Time to escape.

[@kimcannon9340]

Is there a delay? It said thirty minutes two hours ago

[@fairygurl9269]

2:28 😂

[@DrDanielFox]

I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.

[@vengeance9255]

💯

[@DrDanielFox]

You’re welcome

[@lo-ul8nq]

Jesus is our hope, Jesus is our Healer, Jesus Loves you. Don't forget your first Love.

[@ElectricCopperhead1997]

Knowing Christ loves me amidst this awful BPD disease is immensely helpful. I feel bad for those who go it alone..

[@lo-ul8nq]

@ElectricCopperhead1997 , you probably don't really have Bpd . You probably got abuse from your family or someone else. Jesus is Life and best way to go . Amen

[@thecontagiouscajun4795]

Narcissist or nothing but KZbin‘s new bogeyman. It’s getting incredibly old. The damage KZbin has done in making everyone feel like they are somehow psychologist due to listening to these types of video, is astounding.

[@human_4real]

You can leave 🎉

[@Crystalquartz964]

@thecontagiouscajun4795 Did you actually listen to Dr Fox's video here? If you did, you wouldn't have replied in such a negative way

[@MentalDeviant]

Okay Boomer covert narcissist! 🤣

[@MentalDeviant]

​@@Crystalquartz964They're a convert narcissist and they don't want people to know what they do. Or they are highly misinformed. This is the best channel on KZbin with an actual psychologist and they come on here and bitch. They think it makes them look superior but actually makes them look inferior.

[@DS-rd3lu]

There is some truth to your observation .As an example," I did chores at home growing up ...must be because of narcissistic parents". Emotions as a perception of truth. This topic is a societal shit bomb of manipulation . A great topic with a very difficult definition.

[@----79821]

I fail to see the difference between BPD and NPD other than intention

[@DrDanielFox]

I have other videos you may find helpful on this.