how not to lose yourself in relationships

Hi my loves 🦋 In today's video I chat with you on how not to lose yourself in relationships and why you may be doing that in the first place. Here's all the resources I mentioned in this video ⬇️
How to have a REAL relationship with yourself • how to be in a REAL re...
My shadow work video • How to use SHADOW WORK...
My inner child healing & feminine energy video • Why it's so hard for y...
‪@TheMindfulMovement‬ guided meditation for self love • Guided Meditation for ...
My abundance mindset & inner child discovery journal prompt guides beacons.ai/the...
The glow up secrets podcast channel / @theglowupsecretspodcast
Get 20% off at myplusone.com/... using my code ELICIA20 for your self pleasure devices!
The power of attachment amzn.to/40ZkQU1
All my favourite clothes, wellness and book recommendations candr.link/l/h...
My audio podcast, instagram, tiktok & pinterest can all be found here: candr.link/the...
If you need advice please submit it here, instead of DM's (I will not be able to get back to you via DM) beacons.ai/the...
Business inquiries ? [e-mail] (please do not send your advice questions to this email)

[@eliciagoguen]

I hope you guys enjoyed!!! More relationship advice is coming on Thursday's podcast episode, make sure you're subscribed to the glow up secrets podcast channel, linked in my description 🦋

[@monicavictoria787]

I’m getting out of a 5 year relationship that I lost myself in. We are two people who love eachother deeply but things did not work even though we tried our best. We broke up on Friday and I’m not okay. I need this right now🖤

[@eliciagoguen]

I’m sending you so much love today babe. I’m really proud of you and the strength and maturity that you have in this situation. Aw ❤️🥰

[@ayushmitachakraborty3414]

Aww sweetie.. you're not supposed to be okay right now. And that's absolutely okay. You're allowed to feel your emotions, you're allowed to cry your heart out. Take your time.. relax. God has your back(if you believe). I'm so proud of you for choosing you. I love you. Please take care and know that life is amazing no matter what. Everything will be alright, trust me or just trust the process💗🌺

[@clivematthews95]

@@ayushmitachakraborty3414 very sweet message 💛

[@margheritaanelli3572]

I never comment but I was in the same situation some months ago. My best advice would be to start doing the things you had to compromise (i assume that you had to compromise some stuff, correct me if i'm wrong). And of course don't feel guilty for your current feelings, it's human and you should honor it❣️

[@dynalpb]

sending love to you❤

[@FullyLovingYourself]

I’ve been with my fiancé for 4 years and I’ve made it a priority to date myself because I know what it’s like to lose myself in relationships. This is real tea. I’m in this space of relearning self love for this exact reason. & I love that I’m with somebody who’s supportive of my independence and encourages it

[@eliciagoguen]

So proud of you 🥰❤️

[@Discoqueen49]

Phew this one hit home. Just got out of an almost 6 year relationship that demanded so much of my time and energy that I had nothing left for me. I could easily blame him and act like he was controlling me, but I’ve realized that I’m just as much to blame for not setting boundaries and expressing my needs. Big lessons learned moving forward.

[@amberrhii]

Funny how this came up when I was literally thinking, “I really need to find myself..”

[@ZariahValentine]

Literally

[@lolawaldorf5653]

Fr fr

[@solarium7887]

Same!

[@averageboujeeblackgirl]

same here!

[@eliciagoguen]

It’s giving ALIGNMENT 🤪❤️

[@juliarosep]

🧡YES to all of this!! Especially: 'If that person really loves and cares for you, they won't walk away'. SO important to remember. Thank you!!🧡

[@eliciagoguen]

YES Omg 🥰❤️

[@almagar1966]

I needed this so much, my boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years and 8 months I feel like I have lost myself. We are together all the time, the only time we separate is when we go to work but we still text each other very often. I feel lost and without purpose in life. I wish I could have power over my own life but he got used to have power over it because I allowed him and didn’t set up boundaries I’m the first place. It’s gotten worse because of his red pill mentality and sometimes I do not know what to do anymore. I feel like a little lost fish just letting the ocean lead me though life.

[@ayybibi]

girl u just said redpill? i say leave him xo

[@yaskayy]

literally minutes ago, i just wrote in my journal to remind myself not to lose myself, goals and ways in the current relationship i’m in! perfect timing 💕

[@eliciagoguen]

I’m so proud of you 🥹

[@nicolebrooks1900]

This content is not only wonderful but necessary. Ladies in your late teens and early 20s, this message is invaluable. ❤️

[@eliciagoguen]

Aww wow thank you so much ☺️

[@TheDayYoung]

You are right. Thank you ♡ someone has to say it.

[@coralinedoll]

when i was 19 i was in a codependent relationship,, this is such an important message to share with us :,) thank you, i definitely needed this friendly reminder

[@foreverrcocochenel]

Couldn’t have come at a better time. I love this for whomever needed it, including myself.

[@eliciagoguen]

Thank you so much ☺️

[@hannahdanfer2083]

It always feels like you know exactly what I need to hear. I'm in a non serious relationship where for the first time I'm prioritizing myself and it's a learning curve but I feel so much better for it. so happy I've done a lot of the things you have talked about but as always, you teach me something else 💖

[@eliciagoguen]

Aw omg I’m really proud of you. I can feel the strength and self worth that you have just by reading your comment. So happy for you ❤️

[@strawberrymilk418]

In my first serious relationship and this video helped a lot. I never knew that I had these problems until I got into this relationship lol.

[@sophiaisabelle0227]

Thanks for this video. Seems like you can get easily lost while still being linked to somebody.

[@eliciagoguen]

Absolutely!!!

[@fabienne4681]

thank you for this. i broke up with my ex almost 4 months ago and i feel so much better now. i lost myself completely in this relationship (over a year) and was emotionally attached to him. he was living in another country, so i visited him every month. i worked more to get the money together and more free time. i gave too much. i realized it after over a year and my health got so bad to a point where i broke up with him to heal myself and actually start evolving. i feel so much better!! this is such a helpful video and to see that i’m not alone in my journey. greetings from germany ❤

[@eliciagoguen]

Proud of you my love ❤️

[@clivematthews95]

Keep going, you’ll attract the one you deserve 💛

[@AnaWaved_]

Your video helps me not feeling guilty for wanting daily space as an introvert in a starting relationship. My boyfriend is understandable and told me that compared to the time we will spend until the end of our life together this is totally fine 😂❤ i love him Sorry if this is not good translated i am french 😅

[@hopechiann]

You be right on time girl I watch your videos every morning in the gym and I needed this today

[@eliciagoguen]

Omg you’re the best babe ❤️

[@fionambabu]

Me too girl😂😂❤️❤️

[@hellohawra]

I lost myself in friendship that I thought was worth fighting for but seemed like it showed me more of how I am helping that friend to act more of a victim whilst no caring about how I feel at all. I knew her for 3 years and she warned me many times that she won’t put effort in it like I did I didn’t believe in signs. Please guys believe in sign and flags always!

[@silentbookeeper]

Sis your literally the best, I thought I was going crazy for having a mindset like this but I try to tell my friends this all the time but they are going to lose me in the process so over their toxic relationship

[@eliciagoguen]

You get it👏🏼👏🏼

[@SharkWitchMeruna]

I really needed this. My recent relationship with the most amazing man failed bc I lost myself and was too available. He called me desperate, emotionally immature, said I made him uncomfortable then left. I made a lot of mistakes (thankfully none of them as bad as cheating but still bad) that I need to learn from. I’m still upset bc he left his mark on me. He’s far more mature than me and I learned a lot from him. He was wonderful til the end. I still miss him but…I’m also happy to focusing on myself again since I got a dog so I’m not lonely anymore. Your videos have been helping learn to grow and heal from the experience. Thank you. 💖

[@eliciagoguen]

Babe. Please don’t put the entire ending of the relationship on you. I’m really proud of you for taking responsibility and accountability for your actions, but to put it all on you by saying he’s the most amazing man, did nothing wrong and it was all you hurts my heart to read. I’m not denying that he might have been mature and his points may have been correct, but someone that is “so amazing” for you in my opinion wouldn’t call you desperate, too available and whatever else he did and simply leave a mark that has seemed to hurt you. Honestly though it’s just my opinion, but please don’t ever put an entire ending of a relationship on you, as it will always no matter what involve 2 parties. I’m just glad that you’ve learned and you’re taking responsibility for your actions and I know you’re going to find the perfect man for you. ❤️

[@clivematthews95]

@@eliciagoguen real shit!

[@SharkWitchMeruna]

@@eliciagoguen Thank you so much! 😭💖

[@helenparas3953]

Hope you are doing better

[@y0urbubblegumheart]

I’m only like five minutes in to this video and I already wanna say you have helped me understand myself so much (particularly my inner child) and the more I understand things the more I can give myself grace for my ways of thinking or behavior in the past. Whenever I get frustrated with my past self, my therapist always tells me “be nice to that little girl!” 😅❤

[@eliciagoguen]

Aww I’m so honoured 🥰❤️

[@praveenas4675]

For me it’s my best friend, not a partner, that I got way too attached too. Gonna communicate with her about this soon, thank you ❤

[@praveenas4675]

Ohmygod major update: I’ve been bottling up some insecurities about my friendships for so long and finally opened up to my friends after A WHOLE MONTH. It was so scary but I did it. I even told one of them (my best friend who also happens to be my roommate) about my attachment to them and we communicated things out. She was very supportive and gave me advice on where I need to improve myself, which I took really well because I was aware of my own faults. I finally made the decision to move out of my dorm to stay alone and work on my self worth, get to know myself, enjoy my own company etc. and they completely understood and in fact encouraged me to do so. I know what happened was my fault as I let my insecurities get in the way of my friendship but I am well aware of what needs to be done and I forgived myself so I can move on to the next step. I am very nervous but I have faith that this will bring out the best in me so I’m also prepared for this journey Thank you so much for this video Elicia, truly ❤️

[@ubax1612]

i love you sm. I love how you say things so straight up and clearly. Thanks for being so honest and that 'harsh' truth. Definitely need more of that.

[@eliciagoguen]

Aw you’re so welcome babe ❤️

[@purplelemons6277]

I barely got into a relationship and this video is on time

[@eliciagoguen]

🥹❤️

[@janelcornejo8597]

‘High value men, whatever, quotations’ I rewound this multiple times and laughed 🙊

[@eliciagoguen]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@MarvelousMaurva]

Thankyou for this video!🙌 Its definitely helpful, im at a point in my life where I feel a relationship may be coming in and ive been blocking it because I silently didn't want to lose myself again like in past relationships. What you said about keeping a routine and having connections really resonated because my last relationship I totally made myself available the whole time and inside I started to build resentment until I finally blew up and ended things. Now I can allow myself much more space in my future relationship with this awareness.🤓

[@eliciagoguen]

Ahhhh it’s the self awareness for me sis!!! So proud of you 🥹❤️

[@daaliysia]

Me and my bf just had this convo. I just was telling him how I feel n he said I need more time for myself because ever since we had my son I’ve been putting myself last in every way

[@ThePeacesweeetie101]

honestly every video is my favorite elicia. i never can get enough of you. you have a plethora of amazing info to give out. but this by far is going to be my most replayed video. thank u

[@eliciagoguen]

Omg thank you so much you have no idea how much I appreciate this 🥹❤️

[@lunar3n]

girlll go watch some esther perel lectures or interviews!!! she’s absolutely brilliant, she talks about desire and eroticism and maintaining them in relationships by being independent and mysterious. you’d love her stuff. also she’s drop dead gorgeous and in her sixties

[@eliciagoguen]

Oh babe I have!! She’s unmatched.. she is actually a girl who GETS IT. Omg I love her. It’s my reminder to go watch more of her though, interestingly enough i was thinking it’s time for some more Esther 🥹

[@minitabili]

ready for the treatment!!! let's watch!

[@eliciagoguen]

Yaaaaaas 😍😍😍

[@tami1468]

This video was straight up the most useful and calming things ever. I have been catching myself always losing losing myself into relationships and it's been so unhealthy. I have an anxious attachment style, so it's exhausting for both sides. But you're right, it's so important to prioritize yourself in such a way where you know that you matter the most at the end of the day. And if they listen, communicate and understand then that's great. If not, then they're not the one and simply walk away.

[@RemiReagan]

I love how you wrapped everything up at the end!! So good. The way you explain things always help me remember. I really appreciate you being vulnerable on here, and speaking on topics that I think really matter for other girlies. Also, that is a great book recommendation! I have read it, and it was really insightful. ❤ Sending love to you!! (And sun too! ☀️☀️☀️)

[@eliciagoguen]

Aw omg thank you so much for noticing that!! You’re the best, always supporting and sending me love 🥰 appreciate you so much babe ❤️❤️

[@mariiechan1323]

i am so grateful for this video!!! i love your channel, but first time commenting bc i really needed it. two days ago i was feeling super anxious bc i am starting to date someone new (we have been friends for a few months now already but now started dating) and i was completly falling back in my old thinking patterns (from a really really toxic relationship), like thinking really bad about my self and stuff and checking if he answered etc. and i wrote a lot in my diary of course and thought about it. bc i know i am an anxious attached person and i never had a secure love with my ex bf, it was always on and off that (daily basis at some point), and i think i need to communicate that with my new dating partner (i mean he knows my past) and i know í´ve come so far already, but it is really good to be reminded of the things you said, bc i am still afraid to fall in old patterns, but reminding myself its old, really helps! thank you so much

[@eliciagoguen]

Aw omg. I’m really proud of you for coming to this realization! I know it’s not always easy and these conversations can be uncomfortable, but I do believe communicating with a partner who really wants to be with you is the best way forward. It seems like you’re actively really trying to work through some of these patterns which I’m sure your partner would be pleased to hear about as well. So proud of you.❤️

[@mariiechan1323]

@@eliciagoguen ahh, thank you so much!

[@tulsalien]

i loved this video and i agree connecting with the self before other people is helpful. i never check my messages before at least praying and then some sort of meditation even if it’s short. that has helped all my relationships i think. ❤❤❤

[@eliciagoguen]

I love this!!!

[@Witcherworks]

I am thankful that this video came in my feed. Not sure how but this was the perfect video to send a new friend. It’s amazing how women can tell themselves these things. No wonder men take advantage. Shame on them too but what’s easy is easy. Maybe if we all followed the same rules these issues wouldn’t become normal. Thank you for your honesty but this is only a spec of many issues. To think we have 10:rules now we have 100000… you get my point.

[@janelcornejo8597]

Elicia - thank you so much for this video came at the perfect time! I’m getting into a new relationship now & I voted for this video just bc I am so good at being by myself ( Scorpio!) that I don’t want to lose my independence and become co dependent on my partner . I definitely am looking for that healthy balance of “healthy obsession” and having a great life outside my relationship . Thank you again, gracias! ❤️

[@eliciagoguen]

I’m proud of you!! I’m a Scorpio too, I feel you 🤣

[@janelcornejo8597]

@@eliciagoguen one of the many reasons why I respect you ! ♏️

[@jccisneros7919]

Those goes well for men thank you for the advice

[@clivematthews95]

Honestly, I could listen to you talk all day ☺️, like I love your voice, I love your fashion sense, I love your common sense, and I love your caringneess (probably not a word). But you’re right taking time to be with yourself matters in a relationship, having a social life. I love having a girlfriend who makes time for her friends, I love it when she prioritizes communication, it helps me to better align with her and really it makes me more patient. I was reviews my comments recently, and I didn’t realize how repetitive I can be. I promise I won’t bring up my previous relationship no more 😅. I feel like I let you down when I keep doing that, won’t happen again. But I hope you don’t mind the compliments because with those, I can’t really help myself. Keep doing such a good job, beautiful 💛

[@eliciagoguen]

You are so sweet and very wise. I appreciate you as always!! I hope you’re been doing okay ❤️

[@clivematthews95]

@@eliciagoguen I’m trying, you keep my spirits up thanks for checking up on me ❤️🙏🏾

[@analeahgotay-heart854]

i really needed to hear this

[@iamestar_]

Elicia thank you so much, you just placed my dots together

[@raden7259]

Elicia uploading videos often🥰 Thank you for your work angel🤍

[@eliciagoguen]

Aw you’re so welcome thank you babe ❤️

[@alyssahodges4571]

The way I needed this…thank you

[@eliciagoguen]

You’re welcome ☺️

[@daaliysia]

This video is amazing I could cry

[@eliciagoguen]

Ily 🥹

[@Ulyanathestern]

THANK YOU.

[@rachelbarrett4791]

I really needed this

[@daniellas7069]

HOLY COW I NEEDED THIS

[@nekaty8658]

You make such a great quality content, I am so glad I follow you ❤

[@jennaaa5893]

Thank you bestie, I really needed to hear this right now❤

[@eliciagoguen]

You’re welcome babes ❤️

[@Mariamasmind]

Never had a boyfriend but here I am overthinking everything

[@ajohonly3721]

The road to 200k is onnnnn ok sis 🙏🏿

[@eliciagoguen]

I love you 🥹🥹

[@itsLoomi_]

Thanks for this video, it was a wake up call for me !

[@juniorchavesopicassodeyahu988]

12:08 Your hair looks so beautiful

[@eliciagoguen]

Why thank you 😍

[@colindavidson6483]

Good advice

[@niarandall7010]

you literally never miss! i really needed to hear this so thanks so much for putting out the amazing content you do and keep up the great work! 💓

[@aestheticallyliving]

If you are in a situation where you are very open to the person (e.g. talking about trauma or bad past experiences)- they are supportive and listen but are quite closed off because of their own past experiences and they maintain strict boundaries- would u say that talking about ur trauma and deep thoughts is something that you should try to avoid?

[@eliciagoguen]

I think if they are supportive and listen, and also communicate with you the reason why they are a little closed off I wouldn’t say this is completely a red flag, and that this person is not for you. I find, especially with men it can be hard for them to open up about their own past when they haven’t worked through it yet. Avoiding is a strong word, but maybe it’s best to unpack certain situations with friends, family, a therapist instead of with a partner who has expressed to you it’s hard for them to open up about the situations. But I also think it’s good to remind yourself that if you’re looking for someone to be able to have these deep conversations, and your partner is really not willing/not interested in this, it might become an issue down the line.

[@survivalsilk2101]

amaazing advice here

[@eliciagoguen]

Thanks babe 😍

[@minimarshmallow5645]

This video is amazing! thank you

[@newinvention1977]

I needed this! Thank you! ❤

[@Nicole-wd8yg]

Needed this. Thanks

[@eliciagoguen]

You’re so welcome!!

[@iamestar_]

You’re doing God’s work! Thank you

[@eliciagoguen]

Aww you’re so welcome ❤️

[@unikavickers3820]

NEEDED THIS TODAY!!! Btw, I love your tops. They’re all simple yet stylish. Where do you get them?

[@eliciagoguen]

Aw thank you! I get them from many places but the one I was wear is from garage 🥰

[@aleynadursun22]

THANK YOU SO MUCH 💟NEEDED THAT

[@eliciagoguen]

😍😍😍😍

[@jenniferkoranteng8691]

Thank you 💕💕😊🙏

[@aishanusoul]

I like this haha

[@sherinewalrond6534]

Amazing video

[@starlightdust2469]

16:14 I think EVERYONE should listen to this…

[@Isaiah11823]

💜💜💜

[@eliciagoguen]

❤️❤️❤️

[@SReese-bj2kh]

Hey Elicia! You are awesome! Have you ever completed a human design chart? It helped me so much.

[@eliciagoguen]

I have not! I find those can be useful for some, but I’ve learned a lot about human design/astrology and it’s not really my cup of tea for needing direction in my life but I totally believe it’s very useful for some :)

[@sagek7949]

Lol I needed to hear this 😂

[@eliciagoguen]

🤣🤣

[@michellejimenez4585]

This video has 555 views, 55 minutes ago with 111 likes 😮‍💨 meant to be

[@eliciagoguen]

You already KNOW 👏🏼

[@kountrigirllexx270]

Girlllll why were u calling me out this entire video

[@abbigalemccarthy2828]

👏

[@eliciagoguen]

❤️

[@joekal3654]

left my ex for money issue 🙋‍♂️ now Im dating this new local chick who thinks Im into her but to be very honest not into her in the slightest but she is gonna help with money! Uk shit economy 😅

[@eliciagoguen]

this is sad in so many ways.

[@victoriapurple9075]

hellllloooo have a rice day

[@eliciagoguen]

You too hehehehe

[@maonaa]

🫠🫠🫠🫠💕💕💕💕

[@danielaa060]

ilyyyy🥰🥰❤‍🩹❤‍🩹

[@eliciagoguen]

Love youuuuu🥰