How Religion Had An Impact On Our Sexual Experiences W/Shan Boody

I know...this video is SO many days late!! I'm sorry! But I hope you guys enjoyed the conversation. Our purpose was not only to share how religion and our parents not talking to us about sex, effected us; but to also give you guys an understanding that you can reach sexual confidence, by yourself. There are so many avenues and platforms to find information. I will be trying to talk more openly about these types of subjects, but definitely check out my good friend Shannon's channel for more on sex topics. She is not only a sexologist and a sexual educator, but also such an amazing person! I love you guys! I'll see you soon with a news video and an exercise video! Stay Amazing! peace!!
Shannon's Channel: / shannontboodram
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Wassup....I'm Amber and I'm a Weirdo! I make videos that range from challenges, comedy skits, motivational videos, fashion, vlogging my everyday life, LGBT topics, and more. I'm comfortable with who I am, and I'm not afraid to be open to the world. I first started my channel to help others that may be struggling with their identity, to break stereotypes, as well as to showcase my unique androgynous/tomboy style.
Since I started, it's turned into so much more....and I truly LUV and appreciate my followers and supporters. Welcome to the AmbersClosetArmy!

[@maricela8861]

I agree with Amber I have to completely trust someone to have sexual relationship with them ....that and I'm a very affection person I can't sleep with them without catching feels for them

[@AmbersCloset]

Exactly

[@maricela8861]

aww Amber love you girl....your videos are so inspiring :) keep doing awesome videos

[@helena1151]

Maricela 88 I am like you

[@maricela8861]

is your birthday sign Aries too?...Aries are very affectionate people, in spite of the "me first" tendency. They are passionate and generous toward their loved ones. With warm and enthusiastic natures, they can be very demonstrative.

[@bluecannibaleyes]

Ain't nothing wrong with that. Personally, I don't understand people who want to have sex with people they have no emotional attachment to.

[@shanboody]

I didn't know how this video was gonna turn out but WOW it's so so awesome! Talking about Family Life was so nostalgic!! Love you Amber always a pleasure being here!!!

[@AmbersCloset]

Love you too!

[@herity42]

is she ludacris's sis?

[@London_B]

Shan Boody you mentioned in this video that when you were studying sexology {which I have dealt and been intimate with someone who has taken the same course only we are no longer in contact) that there was a unit that had an age by age guide explaining normal sexual behavior. I would like to know where can I find that same guide because when my children come into that age range I want to know what to expect to be normal and how to properly equip myself with tools to guide them in a healthy way without making them fell judged or ashamed and ultimately know how I can help them during this process of exploring themselves. PLEASE RESPOND AND GIVE ME AN ITINERARY TO BE A BETTER MOTHER BY CAREFULLY AND HEALTHY GUIDING MY CHILDREN THOUGH THIS STAGE IN THERE LIFE BEFORE THEY FLY OUT THE NEST. peace, blesseings, and thank u in advance. such a fan and thank you and amber for this video I've been waiting for this for so long !!!

[@cb507]

The moment in the end where you just see the appreciation on Shannon's face was priceless. Friends supposed to be supportive and if they ain't supporting like Amber, they ain't doing it right. Friends have to support each other. That video was great as always, but that ending made it even better 🙌🏽

[@AmbersCloset]

🙌🏽❤️

[@AmbersCloset]

What did you guys think about this discussion? How was it like for you growing up? Did your parents talk to you about sex? Was religion a factor?

[@rasheedaogburn123]

Ambers Closet I'm just waiting for the what to do and what not to do lol. But I can relate to this. When my mom found out about me having sex at 17 she made me take a pregnancy test and started yelling abortion was going to happen even though I was on the pill and we used protection. she just got so scared that I was going to get pregnant that I stayed celibate for 6 years......then I went to women. so you lose some YOU WIN SOME LOL. But that reaction shaped me a lot and I backed off from sexuality for a really long time because of that and church. Now I regret not exploring during college. im 26 and I feel like I'm just starting to live. Sucks.

[@rasheedaogburn123]

Needless to say I still have a lot of confusion and anger that I'm dealing with because of it. the church I was in we couldn't even hold hands until we were engaged.

[@dqdequantm2618]

Ambers Closet I learned about sex from my friends in math class freshman year of high school. I never had a relationship with my dad & I didn't see my mom always there for me to talk to she just never brought it up.

[@dqdequantm2618]

Ambers Closet I meant I didn't see my mom that often bc she had a major bipolar disorder but we've always been close and she was always there for me she just didn't bring up sex talk

[@shcikitathomas]

@amberscloset and Yes religion restricts and controls in sex and everything elseit touches.....rules and dont ask dont tell its sad....Im glad I wanted more to learn more quit these ubsurd bs Learned to learn more Love yourself your body your sexuality.....It nevers helps anyone who is shamed for wanting to know the truth and knowledge when your parents dont explain right then failures and mistakes WILL HAPPEN.

[@chan2009ify]

This video hit home a little, very relatable. I think when you're brought up in a religious household especially a Christian/Catholic household the "sextalk" is typically frowned upon and it rarely gets talked about which isn't always the best, as it doesn't give you the right information you need to build a healthy sex life in the near future, which can often be frustrating and make you timid and uncomfortable. So I'm glad y'all made this video its a very important topic to discuss.

[@AmbersCloset]

Yes exactly! And thank you!

[@1sweetpeach749]

So true!

[@blackgirlgirlblack704]

I thank you and Shannon for being so open to this topic. I grew up in a Christian family and up until this day, any type of sex talk is pretty hush hush. A few days ago my mother told me, things like this are meant to be kept private. I've come to accept and respect that. Being in my late 20's, still in the closest and only have had little sexual experience, I can only hope that one day, I'll fully embrace my sexuality without feeling ashamed as part of my religious beliefs. Thanks again for sharing.

[@zooborg]

Amber, you come across as so humble and genuine. I appreciate you, bless up.

[@shanboody]

zooborg she is! Seriously personality goals

[@Jamia.mp4]

"She let me be daddy like forreal" I'm dead

[@marymwaluko3364]

😅😅😅 i died

[@musicjunkie295_5]

That got me too 😅😂

[@SportyJules]

Loved the fact that both of them are wearing that 'vibrator' neckless

[@tiarachiffon8131]

Giulia Joe Assanti if you didn't know, that's Shannon's line.

[@Sssssssslf]

Tf is a neckless?! 😆

[@olimatakah5996]

For me, sex was not talked about in school. This is Gambia and talking about sex is basically taboo so i did not know anything until i began seeking knowledge on my own which was scary. I will NOT put my kids through that.

[@melanova5]

Olimata Kah yaaaaaasss ❤❤❤ I love hearing people say they're gonna be more open with their kids, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside my heart lol 😁

[@maellescorner]

This is honestly great. Sexuality and faith is strange. Monotheistic faith practicers (the two aren't mutually exclusive though) can often push the rhetoric of sex being taboo and queer and non queer identifying persons are basically groomed into being scared of exploring themselves. Sexuality is such a flowing and fluctuating spectrum and should be a unique exploration for everyone.

[@bluecannibaleyes]

I'm not religious but if anything I'm polytheistic... and I have always had very conservative views on sex. You don't need to be religious to see sex as sacred; valuing the act of sex doesn't have to be a bad thing or a shameful view.

[@maellescorner]

bluecannibaleyes reread: "monotheistic faith practicers can often (the two aren't mutually exclusive)". I didn't grow up nor do I practice a polytheistic faith, so I didn't speak from that pov. And you may have also misconstrued what sexual exploration meant (understandable), but seeing as sexuality *is* on a spectrum, there are an abundance of conservative practicers, and it's quite common.

[@bluecannibaleyes]

I know, I did see that part. Just throwing out my thoughts as a non-religious conservative. I do know polytheists who feel the same way I do about sex, though; I'm dating one. I guess by exploration I thought you meant experimenting with sex and exploring sex? Idk, I was kind of just going off on my own thing TBH. I mean to say that I have values about sex being something special and virginity being something that should be valued. I've always had these values, and I think they are similar to a lot of religious people. I think a lot of people misconstrue these views of sex as somehow inherently shaming it and suppressing it. But for some, being conservative about sex is actually more about self control and self respect than it is about seeing sex as shameful. I see sex as important (it's what creates the future of humanity, after all) and that's why I see it as "shameful" to do without love or thought. It's not the act of sex so much as the act of disrespecting oneself by not taking sex seriously. The "free love" type of attitude that the LGBT community seems to widely encourage has never set well with me.

[@maellescorner]

bluecannibaleyes "never sat well with you?" We are sexual beings, how much so is different for everyone, point blank period. As if sexual exploration is solely reliant on queer identities, yeah no. There is nothing wrong with being conservative in your sexual life, because at the end of the day, it's *your* sex life. However, the asinine idea that sex should and is something to be petrified of and everyone should follow strict guidelines regardless of their personal orientation, is disgusting and reminiscent of an arachaic and oppressive ideology and nothing to be overtly proud of. Your sexual proclivities or lack thereof are your issues and concern, other's sexual proclivities and or lack thereof, are their own. It's not your place, nor is it any belief system's (especially so when most if not all were rooted in patriarchal and misogynistic) place.

[@bluecannibaleyes]

I never said that sexual exploration was just a queer thing. That community just tends to openly encourage it more than others. Honestly, if you're going to call my beliefs about sex "asinine" and "disgusting", I think it's only fair that I'm allowed to say the same things about other people's beliefs on sex. For someone who claims it's okay to have conservative views on sex, you certainly don't seem to actually be okay with my views... My guidelines aren't "strict" to me, because they follow my natural inclinations and deep rooted morals. Celibacy is as natural and fulfilling to me as "sexual exploration" is for most people. I'm not "petrified" of sex, it's just not really my entertainment of choice, and I'd rather only do it with someone I love. As for it not being my (or anyone's) place, that's a matter of opinion in and of itself. Obviously I can't stop people from doing what they want sexually. They can follow my advice or not, just as I'm not going to change my life because someone tried to shame me into having sex. I know it's not a popular opinion, but I've always felt that judging someone for their direct actions and decisions is fair. Consensual sex is something people *choose* to engage in. Like I said, if you're going to judge my sex life/ideas about sex as "archaic", oppressive", "asinine", and "disgusting", then I reserve that right to see sleeping around/the whole "free love" idea as disgusting, disrespectful, and degenerate.

[@cecemoon1208]

I love how open and vulnerable you both were to this topic. We need more women to talk about sex in a simple heart to heart way

[@cookingwithsoul1498]

Amber was like the balls and then the little pee pee I love you 😂😂😂😂💀

[@AmbersCloset]

😂😂

[@Nimmmnfc]

My mom only told me don't get pregnant, she never explained to what sex is. So, my entire teen years I was really confused on what sex is.

[@melanova5]

Nina Beana Marie I had the exact same "talk!" My mother was very vague about it, she just said that having sex will make you pregnant, and then told me if I got pregnant that I couldn't stay with her any more so don't get pregnant! It was confusing and it made me feel something awful about sex in general!

[@Nimmmnfc]

IcarustheSquirrel yeah! I never got any more information than that. And I would ask questions and it's always the same answer "just worry about not getting pregnant"

[@christinaa4139]

thank you so much for this video, it this gives me such comfort with sexuality... it's also incredible how much experiences growing up and the environment you're brought up in can affect you as a sexual being and i'm 15 but can see ways in which it's shaped me already... there's also the flipside of the stigma around 'having to be sexual' as an adolescent which as i learn more feels less and less important, and i should only explore things when i feel ready. but yeah thank you so so much

[@ionamunro4336]

I feel the exact same. I had a similar upbringing to Amber and I never talked with my parents or family about any sexual relationships, experiences or anything sexual that is normal, even now I'm 22, it's still not talked about. I just relate so much, thank you for making this

[@youheard03]

I'm with Amber , I need to trust someone, feel comfortable and respected for me to even entertain the idea of laying with them with , it's funny cos I'm quite free spirited and don't really feel a way about casual sex, but personally I can't with anyone just cos I want to

[@melanova5]

you heard honestly, I've had a lot of terrible sex with people I was very strongly sexually attracted to just because I didn't have that close, trusting bond with them! Intimacy is super important for me to enjoy sex. Consent is also huge for me, so like if the other person doesn't ask if they can do a thing to me it's a real mood-killer for me! I've had to learn that it's OK for me, personally, to need intimacy to enjoy sex, though. Now I feel a lot better about myself ❤❤❤

[@abstrvvct1318]

This video was actually really great & I'm so glad you guys made this! The sex talk was weird growing up. My mom alluded to sex here & there without giving details & my dad avoided anything of a sexual nature so it left me thinking sex was bad & that's the only option. (Both of my parents are adamant christians) They did, however, put me through this "covenant class" that my old church held for teens to basically talk about sexuality as it relates to the Bible, puberty & STDs (aka scare the hell out of us so we wouldn't do it) & then at the end there's a ceremony in front of the whole congregation where you "marry god" & wear a promise ring. It was a bunch of hoopla lmao. Honestly I didn't have a lot of guidance, especially being queer, so I just did what I was told & didn't recognize/accept my sexuality till I was out on my own. I'm 23 and haven't come out to my family yet because of their beliefs.

[@bmoe4609]

Purity culture. From birth it was wait till marrige. Period anythinh else was bad

[@lancalanca2544]

I'm so happy that someone like you and Shan Boody exists to bring these discussions to the surface and to the light. I love the depth in your conversations because it helps to know that you're not the only one having certain thoughts and feelings.

[@iamnemo9202]

I love it when Amber and Shannon get together they make videos that really make women from all around feel empowered

[@QueenTiffers]

THIS IS WITHOUT A DOUBT MY FAVORITE VIDEO OF ALL TIME ON KZbin... thank you two for being so open and honest.

[@DistressedAndImpressed]

Wow. I really identify with this. At age 8 or 9 maybe even before that I had a lot of sexual feelings that I was very confused about. I just recently learned how common it is. My family is open, but modest so even though they have told me I could come to them, I had really horrible anxiety (still do) so I was TERRIFIED of disappointing them.

[@torijarrett6215]

Thank you for doing this!!! As a clinical therapist the 2 biggest subtopics that come up in reference to sexuality are abuse and faith/religious beliefs. There is so much info out there about the abuse part but this subject not so much. The conversation needs to happen.

[@tracieb_fly8201]

What's the best age to talk to your kid without stealing their innocence ???

[@kfiz5125]

Tracie B_Fly same time you would talk to your daughter or son about puberty and getting a period (around age 9 or so). tbh, they'll probably already have some kinda understanding of sex, so you won't be messing with their "innocence". just explain to them how to have safe sex and sti's and the like, because as much as you won't like it, they're probably gonna have sex in they're teenage (17 &18) years and it's better to tell them about safe sex to prevent anything​ major happening.

[@Kbatl1997]

Tracie B_Fly I say probably start at 5-10 for the basics. Like some kids who are molested are scared to speak up because it might feel pleasurable and they don't understand that. They also dont understand why that relationship is predatory. But 10 and up you can get into the more serious topics like what sex is truly other that procreation. The emotional things behind it and how much of an adult thing it truly is. But for a while just share with your young ones that sex is to create a baby instead of for pleasure because what 8 year old cares about that? They just want to know where babies come from

[@NotAnotherKuromi]

Yeah its really hard to pick an age as all kids mature differently. According to my mum she tried to tell me at a young age & I put my hand up & said 'ew I do not want to here that!' so she took that as an indication to wait a bit longer before telling me the birds & the bees.

[@NotAnotherKuromi]

+Kfiz Puberty can start from like 9 years old though, I think it is better to have the information before shit starts happening.

[@hayleylozano1242]

I think I started talk to my mom in like 4th grade I had some older friends so I started to get more curious as to what everything ment but I think talking about it young really helped me personally because I already knew most of everything you go over in health even in middle school I knew more than most everyone around me so I wasn't ever caught off guard by anything in class or even with my body, I had a friend growing up who never learned anything from her parents and she ended up get in lots of trouble with boys and eventually got pregnant at like 14

[@anniewest1602]

one of the best videos from Amber! The topic is serious but you guys talked so openly and heart warming way. 💪❤

[@kourtneyjohnson1128]

Thank you for this video!!! This dialogue is SO NEEDED. I had a very similar upbringing as both of you and i wish i had the people in my life to help me navigate through my younger years. I went through a lot of unnecessary shame and self-hatred due to my "condemned" exploration attempts. I will not make those same mistakes with my children. This conversation is much needed and appreciated. Thank you ladies for sharing! Love both of your channels

[@she2hadthedramathick]

I could literally see the anxiety spill out of Amber when you mentioned her having to follow up with the pro-tips.

[@melanova5]

she2hadthedramathick Ikr!! But I think we'd all love to see that part 2 ❤❤❤

[@WHOYOUCALLINGSHORT33]

I absolutely LOVED this vid! PREACH GIRLS! And yes please make how to/how to NOT oral vids. You girls are amazing and so inspiring and helpful to those who don't know "need to know" information that their parents/teachers failed at teaching. I seriously enjoyed this vid! Please make more! Ps: I can't wait to get my necklace 😉 I've been wanting to try one for a while now. So excited!

[@melanova5]

WHOYOUCALLINGSHORT33 Amber recently made a vid on it, check out her channel! Also, fingers crossed for a part 2 🙌

[@brittanayasmith9307]

Dolores

[@brittanayasmith9307]

B l

[@gypC83]

I love that this setting is just like a girlfriend sesh.. It's so real and relaxed and just fuckin NORMAL. It is an approach that should be taken more often to open dialogue. Thanks ladies..

[@jayda.bordeaux]

SHANNON: "I think I can outperform 88% of men...I don't think I can outperform you..." AMBER: (confidently) "No. no. I have more experience than you" LMAO - amber like I'm #1 you can't catch up honey 😂😂 lol

[@brenda2755]

I'm emotional here! Seeing the love of y'all friendship is so inspiring to me ❤️ Not only do I feel y'all are hella dope individuals... y'all made my feelings of my own experience growing up valid. And thats such a liberating feeling! Y'all are friendship goals! I love seeing you guys together! Much love to you both!

[@AmbersCloset]

Thank you Brenda!!❤️🙏🏽You're Amazing!

[@sarah-eliseblair3861]

as a southern youth growing up in a Christian home, this is really helpful and informative. keep making an impact 😘😘

[@lolohart]

Religion became an issue for me in my late teens through choice and I've just turned 26 and I feel like I'm just having a breakthrough about my sexuality, mainly due to watching all shannons videos. Your KZbin friendship group has really helped me figure me and my relationship with sex out so thankyou.I remember the only info my mum said to me when I started my period was "don't mess wid boys now" In her Grenadian accent 😂

[@lisareynolds3824]

Thank you for this very informative video. Raised catholic, I can SO relate to all you said AND to some situations you went through with parents. It has haunted me all my life and even now still affects me subconsciously I'm sure. Looking forward to part 2.

[@ashsmelcer8431]

I totally agree with Amber. It's creepy how much of her experience I experienced. Thank you two for putting this out there for everyone. I can't even begin to imagine how helpful this is to our youth.

[@whiskeyjames23]

My parents r so open about sex education its hilarious around my friends 😂

[@Newyork8608]

When they started talking about the vibrating necklace it got hella emotional..Really sweet.

[@berniiequack]

your friendship is literal goals!!!! as soon as I get paid Imma surprise my bestie with one!

[@shanboody]

berniiequack so sweet!! But get one for you too

[@itismeIamher]

This discussion is so important not just to gay people but to everyone. You guys were on point!!! This is not talked about enough!!

[@CaptivateCatherine]

This video is great. I was thinking about this kind of thing recently. I grew up in a conservative home as well, and my parents are awesome and all, but I agree with a lot of what you said about creating an open nonjudgmental environment regarding sexuality. Also, y'all are so sweet with each other it warms my little heart! Watching you both makes me feel like I'm hugging one of my own friends((:

[@arabella8439]

I really appreciate this video and the whole thing. Any one who grew up in a religious house hold knows the shame. guilt. and fear that comes pitted next to sex and masturbation as this unknown evil doing. Shannon thank you for what you've done, as Ive grown up and found freedom from a binding religious mind set watching your videos helps level me even more, knowing that we were made this way it's damn SCIENCE and there is a way to be healthy safe and love yourself by knowing yourself as a sexual being. But ignoring the topic and not educating people on it is a huge problem. I have my own child, and im honestly excited to educate them openly and truthfully on the topic without shame or guilt or fear involved. Thank you 😘 because you have helped me understand the truth about sex and it needs to be openly taught to kids more.

[@ghouling1111]

aawww the end of this video made me cry! so beautiful!!!

[@mostylestv708]

I love you both! You both are such an inspiration and I can't wait for the tour ❤️

[@Ari__Mone]

I'm so late to this thread lol. Good talk guys. Lol it's so funny that you made mention to the shame associated with being scolded for participating in what you felt as natural prior to being caught. My first sexual experience was with a girl at 11 years old. Her dad was the pastor of the church I attended and we were playing with dolls and she said "hey I learned and I wanna show you" she told me what to do and how to do it and I remember enjoying it. About a week later her dad got us together in the living room and said he heard of the sin we had committed and that if we did not repent our sins then we would go to hell. I got nervous, started swearing, trying to wonder what sin. He went on by getting a belt and said he is still responsible for his daughter's sins as she was still 11 and each person is responsible for their own sin at age 12. He asked her to open her hands and he beat her with the belt and told us that her sins are forgiven but mine was not because my dad who was still responsible for my sin was not there to beat me. I remember crying but so afraid to tell my dad because he was so ill, I did not want him to get stressed about me committing a sin. I spent the rest of my teenage years and most of my twenties in constant conflict enduring pain, hurt and abuse, because coming out was so much worse.

[@srwsrw86]

as requested part DOS! To describe ALL the areas like Shan said would be stepping it up... but you got dis!

[@68dbass]

Thank you SO MUCH for sharing this vid! l totally identify with you all's upbringing. My father is a pastor..... A Pentecostal one at that!....Need l say more? :-). l am still on my road to self acceptance regarding my sexuality-"came out" to them 2 yrs ago. l'm enjoying my journey. l am grateful to you both for being your authetic selves. Trust & believe, your impact & influence is beyond what you can imagine! Very inspiring. Keep it going!

[@pw3285]

I just love the maturity and understanding between you two.

[@Piecesoftheshadow]

Religion is a joke. It makes sex so taboo, shameful, scary. Everything is considered a sin for the most part: masturbation, sex before marriage, homosexuality, sexual wants, etc. None of these things should be taboo, they should be talked about openly. This is a great talk that you guys had. Our experiences will help us to better teach our own children.

[@rahiemjohnson1844]

This is so fucking helpful, like I'm still with my mom (I'm 15) and she's never brought up any LGBT things until she found out that I liked girls and I'm trans. And then masturbation is automatically the wrong thing. She's never talked about it or anything it's just wrong

[@kylajohn]

Thanks for sharing guys! I have siblings and I hope to be the support that they need in that arena. One day very soon, I am def having that talk with my sister who I believe is at that point where she needs to know.

[@aamoa36]

This was supremely dope & necessary!! Seriously love you two so much for this video. My story is way to lengthy for this comment section. But I'll say that I shared a lot of the same early childhood experiences & received the same parental responses of disappointment, disapproval & made to feel ashamed. Like Amber, it was more confusing because of my discovering of the feelings I was having for girls. What made my situation tragic is that when I was 10yrs old abuse by a parental figure began. Like Shannon, I've had some experiences I'm not proud of in the name sexual exploration because I didn't have a naturing outlet. I've been several religions, non of which were open to explaining sexuality in a positive or detailed way. So many things recently have been occuring in my life that have bought me to the realization that I needed to take some time & really get to know myself in all aspects. I discovered Amber's videos on You Tube about 4-5 months ago. Her videos lead me to Shannon & some others I feel I owe so much to. I have been binge watching everything! Once again...thanks..just thanks! Btw Notification Squad Up!!

[@tallevi3031]

this was incredible and so genuine!! loved it. Lowkey waiting for that pro-tips video you mentioned ;)

[@HG-bh7zi]

Really appreciate this video, y'all doing great, I can totally relate with family and insecurities growing up, never had any advice from my mum or anyone at all. I've been keeping up with your channel but never comment. Shannon you too, you're awesome. Y'all have changed my perspective about sex and I've learned so much with you guys and your experiences. Thank you for being here!

[@macgrace2324]

You guys and videos like these are the reason KZbin is my safe place you make me comfortable with myself

[@ineekaanderson3673]

I love this video. I think my upbringing still affects me to this day. I have to constantly remind myself that I have to break the cycle and that it starts with me. I wish we could have more conversations like this because it is a real thing.

[@lunab.7858]

This was such a beautiful conversation. Opened up a lot of good and bad memories for me. Your friendship is so awesome as well. So healthy and loving. 💕

[@emilyonizuka4698]

thank you for mentioning asexual and demisexual people at the end! I'm ace myself and do masturbate sometimes (tmi?) but I don't like doing sexual things with my romantic partners. my current partner is totally okay with it but in the past I've had people who get mad about it because my sexual liberation wasn't serving them.

[@kristinarobinson3241]

WOW!!! Thank you so much for this video. This totally answered some questions that I had about my up bringing and its affect on my sex life. Pillow, barbies, fear, shame!! all that shit! Good to know others were having the same questions and I'm not alone! Thanks again!

[@maycoleman7348]

And I'm sorry I have to call it! Yalls energy is INSANE! It gives me soul goosebumps. And ummm...I dnt see this with everyone I see you around. Like I could see y'alls connection in the dark. I just want y'all to glow ON!

[@halgirl360]

i honestly wish my mom would've had the sex talk with me. sounds weird but i feel like if i did i wouldn't have lost my virginity so young...

[@melanova5]

haleigh marie I wished I would have been able to talk about it, too.. I wound up having a lot of non-consensual experiences when I was (imho) too young because I didn't understand how I was supposed to feel about sex or that it was OK for me to say "no." That can be really scarring!!

[@twtybrd106]

@@melanova5 my exact thoughts and feelings.

[@sunvavachi]

I had a strict upbringing and never had a sex talk and I am 29. I don't regret my parents not having the sex talk as it made me not think about having sex. I guess I was always kept busy and it made me focus on the right things. However with that said, dating seemed to be a taboo topic in my household as it was linked to sex. This was ok til I reached into my university years, I have been growing very frustrated. I started dating behind my parents back at the age of 17 (ya I know in the America's this is considered late but I'm happy I started that time when I was more mature). I never had urge to have sex as I wanted to completely trust the person (I cannot casually give myself). I dated another person after during my medical school years, and it was long distance also. We could not meet due to religion differences (we were fine parents were not). I felt so conflicted, as I still could not talk to my parents. I try SO long, so many years and what happens is just harsh discussions or arguments. I was with that guy for 6 years. Now I am heading for post graduate training. Recently been dating a guy now for awhile, now its different race haha I'm Indian and he is black American. Best guy ever and I am so happy. He is the one I let enter me and I am so grateful that I waited and didn't fling around my virginity to anyone. I started to explore when I was 10 with girls/guys like all of us do. I feel utterly stuck on how to now at this age even approach about dating, forget about sex! I really enjoyed this video, but maybe a topic of different ethnic backgrounds and how they have a hard time with discussion of dating? I didn't really find my answer about how to talk to my parents, but at this rate I feel like I'm going to go soon if its this difficult on my own way. Sorry this is such a long post. I've just been up to wits end with this topic myself. Excellent topics and both of you are so pretty and well spoken!

[@karasays01]

I love when y'all collab. It's always great👌

[@honeyreally232]

I appreciate my education in Australia now a LOT more. I go to a catholic private school and we have had great sex education at school since year 5. Not only have we repeatedly learnt about it but we have been tested on our knowledge about anatomy etc.Although there could be more said about sexuality and masturbation, for what we are getting is great also considering that we are being taught from older generations. Here in Australia we learn about sex in science, religion, PDHPE(physical development, health and sport) and it sometimes is mentioned in other subjects. Loved this video!! You two collab more often please xxxx

[@PinkAbigail]

Love this video :-D oh my days I use to do that with my barbies too lol

[@melanova5]

Loren Pemberton same! I never had a Ken doll so they were all little lezzies 😂😂😂 ayyyy 🙌 lol

[@jehoqz]

Family life class in the US was a textbook called “Fully Alive” and it was also 6th grade catholic school for me too LMFAO

[@tatyanasorokina6145]

This is so important to talk about... Thank you for sharing your perspective

[@ravenkent622]

I occasionally watch your videos, and I wanted to say I really appreciated this video. When I was younger (around 10/11) I started to have certain experiences with another girl my age and discovered masturbation and since then I've felt alot of shame about it, but I appreciate hearing both of your experiences, it made me feel alot better about my sexuality now.

[@christinaclancy281]

I can really relate to this!! Grown up Christian, and I still am a Christian, just dont want that shame anymore!!

[@ipie7569]

Im so glad i saw this video growing up catholic and repressed as a queer woman was a nightmare and seeing other woman talking about moving past it is a blessing ❤❤❤

[@EdwardSanchezProductions]

Amber I am glad that you are talking about this topic because it needs to be talk about

[@nene1nene1]

WOW AT LAST ..THIS DISCUSSION WAS REALLY COOL, I JUST LOVED IT...PLS WE NEED MORE OF THESE TYPE OF DISCUSSIONS ,I KNOW IT WILL HELP A LOT OF PEOPLE OUT THERE & WHAT EVER SEXUALITY YOU ARE IT IS STILL A GREAT FORUM FOR EVERYONE.THANKS GUYS!..

[@benababas]

This video is really helpful. I went through a similar upbringing, and I think one of the worse things parents can do is shame a child about their sexuality.

[@panasheg833]

When you have so many questions but aren't comfortable sharing in the comments section 😕

[@oforimensah4711]

Lol at Shan BOODY's grin and body language at 11:55 she's like bullshit Amber (cough)...

[@getbackyoudontknowmeliketh9435]

I can kind of relate to dealing with sexual shaming growing up and I did enjoy this discussion and thought it was really real and warmhearted. I did want to say that in another, much older vid I just saw, amber said that she felt that it was weird to masturbate while you're in a relationship and it kind of rubbed me a little (I just realized how that sounded but no pun intended) and I was gonna comment on it, in that vid but thought I'd do so on here, instead. I've heard that it's actually normal and healthy to masturbate (alone or with a partner) in a relationship. Masturbation is nothing more than another way to express sexuality and if that is something that is naturally a part of a person's sexual expression, why should it change once in a relationship? I think she said that because of her issues related to it, in general. Many people masturbate simply because it feels good. Religion often teaches that any form of sexual expression should be for procreation purposes, only. But scientifically speaking, humans are actually one of only a few species who have sex for pleasure. Masturbation is a great way to become more in tune with your own sexual likes and dislikes which then can transfer to being better able to please your female partner or guide your male partner when it comes to what you need them to do to get you there. Sure, you can get a rudimentary idea about how to give a woman a g-spot along with all the other spots inside and outside of her vagina, orgasm without experiencing it but if you don't even know what that feels like yourself... I'm not trying to shame anyone into doing something they don't feel comfortable doing. I just feel that it should go both ways. Us people who are more comfortable in those areas, shouldn't be shamed into NOT doing it, either. In a way, it sounds a bit like something a chauvinistic male who is ignorant about the female body, would say. Like, "What I do to you should be enough and if it isn't, you're some kind of nympho or freak or something." But what these types who say this don't get is that, for some, they know their body's so well that they can please themselves better than any man or even woman, ever could. It simply FEELS GOOD. I've also recently discovered a group of same sex attracted females known as "touch me nots." In another vid, Amber said Stems would be more capable of pleasing their partners than Studs for different reasons, including because Studs are more likely to be these types. But honestly, if you've never had a full body orgasm from shallow to deep penetration combined with clitoral and labial (those can be just as sensitive as the clit, actually) stimulation, are you going to be able to truly know how to do that to me, Stem or not? No, you may not be a full "touch me not" in that you are now more comfortable with masturbation but for me, I've had some of the most vivid experiences from actual deep penetration. But then again, now that I think about it, perhaps it's possible to give another girl that with a strap-on and there are men capable of giving women these despite them having never been a woman or experienced a female orgasm, themselves but I still think it's a mind-blowing experience for a female to have, non-the-less. Maybe my ideal woman wouldn't be Amber's type of Stem or a Stud (though she already knows she's the shit, looks wise) but something called an Aggressive Femme or perhaps someone who can "switch" between AG Fem and Stem. Someone who is sexually expressive and free in every way and can be dominant IN BED and in personality along with submissive, at least on some level like being okay with none strap related penetration using toys... Again, not to make anyone feel bad (or uncomfortable) for who they are, just sharing my long-winded, no life having ideas which I'm sure no one will actually read, anyway. :)

[@StineBean016]

this was a really great video. my parents didnt really talk to me about my body growing up and the things that were said in this video were validating for my feelings! thank you.

[@sad-happy7043]

liked d video b4 watching it. That's hw much I hunger for yo vidds! Thx 4 d ed though

[@HokutoAnsatsuken]

I'm down for a part 2 to the How to give great head videos. But what I really wanna see is who'd win in a race, Amber or Shannon lol!

[@melanova5]

HokutoAnsatsuken yaaaaaasss part 2! ❤❤❤

[@belkiscandelario7362]

I love this video one because I grew up in a household where sex was taboo and more so when my older sister got pregnant at 14. That made the dating and sex talk uncomfortable because it all lead back to possibly getting pregnant and what my home life would be like if I got pregnant young. I really love this video because I have 2 girls of my own and I want to be able to give them the sex talk in a way that they feel empowered and comfortable to talk to me about sex when they start having sexual thoughts and feelings. Thank you both for sharing and being open about ur experiences

[@Death_m0th]

this was a great video thank you guys literally sent this to my friend and she was mind blown.

[@serverngreen484]

Not the milk man 🤣😭😭 I love that I came across the 2 of you... So much information!

[@kaashkaash8695]

Whoa thank you guys so much for making this video. This changed my life forever!

[@JustMe-qk8bn]

This really helped me👌🏽thank you ladies! I had similar experiences I still feel like sex such a topic and I feel uncomfortable talking about it and not too comfortable doing it

[@nadiawalton6504]

You guys should get you a podcast and talk about stuff like this

[@YogiRed]

Think about all the past generations who did not have an opportunity to watch this video and were sexually repressed all their lives. Sexually repression is changing and glad to be part of it. I am hella old but glad I was able to "free" myself from religious/parental sexual misguidance. I give my parents a break because they didn't know better. Let's keep braking these norms by keeping the conversation going #ayeeeeeee

[@Gurke30876]

love the video! so much to relate to. I also grew up in a religious household and went to Catholic school.

[@kkwalker1231]

This literally put everything into perspective wow a lot of things suddenly make sense damm ❤

[@chrissys3220]

Thank you so much for this, that really help me today. This just made my day!! You guys are great role models. Thank you sooooo much 🙏🏽

[@bjoyful20]

I like what u said when u mentioned the sexual scale thru life. just like we have to learn to naturally walk it's natural to be sexual because we are a product of sexuality. but 8 was telling a friend this and they rebuttled with yes but but we're a product of straight sexuality. so how do u explain being gay????? im a lesbian but I get where she coming from so how would u answer that is my question.

[@melanova5]

brianna winkfield what turns you on is in many ways biological, like you could be raised by blonde parents but not be blonde, you could be raised by straight parents and not be straight. Also, there are methods for non-binary or homosexual people to raise children, so it's not necessarily the case that we've all grown up in that heteronormative kind of environment, even if we are the product of sperm and eggs. But I'm curious what Amber or Shannon has to say about this 😊

[@bjoyful20]

IcarustheSquirrel ok thnx. Nd me too. 😊

[@lawshey41]

This is still one of my favourite videos. We need another one!!!!!!

[@ashleytune1598]

I feel like such a cheeseball because the end of this video brought tears to my eyes. haha your friendship makes me SO happy.

[@c.a.wisdom]

I love this video! ☺ You ladies are awesome! We need more like this. I learned everything I know on my own, never had that "talk" with my parents. But just like Amber, I have to completely trust someone....Part 2 please ☺

[@tahlia5436]

Loving these discussions and the support you show for each other xo

[@Nail3dIt]

Thank you guys for your videos. They are so reassuring and helpful and you guys work so well together it makes this topic feel comfortable to discuss. 💜💜

[@Setfiree]

I can definitely relate to Shannon and amber. I can relate to Shannon because I grew up being very interested in sex and I can relate to amber when it comes to not being able to do the whole casual sex thing and have "security" .

[@Howdyimannabelle]

this is the most freeing video ive ever watched, thank you for speaking so openly about honest. Shan I relate to your childhood upbringing completely, is it possible for a video to change your life lol. Please more videos together & a part 2. y'all have a beautiful relationship.

[@hot2maly2582]

This was really great. I think just like you guys the way I was raised and the sexual experiences that I've had have affected the decisions I have made when it comes to how I view sex, my self worth, the type of men that i've dated, shame & guilt, etc. I feel like this video definitely gives me something to think about and figure out how it applies to my life and how I could make better choices for myself. Thanks guys :)

[@hayleylozano1242]

My mom has always been open with me about periods and sex which is great because I know a lot more than some of my peers but my mother is also really "2 faced" she's an alcoholic so there is no way to tell how she will react..... my first girlfriends mom found out we where dating she was out to her mom but I was not out or ready to be out to my mom but her mother just had to tell mine, I had hinted to my mom before and she seemed cool but the ride home was awful she was so mean. Now she is fine with me and I'm open about being bi and dating girls what I'm getting to is my mom has always told me "when you are ready come to me we can get you on birth control" I've always had the feeling that I would loose my virginity early (of course I won't know for sure) but like 14-15 my mom has always said when your ready but I know she means 17-18. I want to be open with her but I don't want to be shamed or disappoint her.

[@melanova5]

Hayley Lozano It's really hard when you have parents who aren't consistent or even specific about their expectations! I'm sorry it's been so tough and confusing for you, that sucks

[@hayleylozano1242]

IcarustheSquirrel thank you and yeah it can be hard but I'm just living one day at a time and trying to remember making myself happy and proud is the priority

[@kailajanae7662]

Hayley Lozano I went through a similar situation as you. my mom said the same thing to me but I stilI felt ashamed to tell her. well I did eventually tell her and she wasn't too excited lol but she understood and put me on bc . she did let me know that she didn't know where I was going to have sex at because I wasn't doing it in the house lol. even though i'm happy my mom understood and taught me protect myself, I wish she would of told me sex is so much better when you're older. I lost my virginity at 14 but wish I waited until 18-20. and it's funny I over heard my mom talking to my aunt saying sex is so much better when you get older and my aunt agreed. I asked her why she never told me that and she figured I was going to do what I wanted regardless. I'm just saying girl it's better to wait and birth control f''d my hormones up! I'm now 27 and been with my boyfriend (now fiance) for 8 amazing years and I really wish I would of waited for him. I know this isn't everyone's case and of course you are going to do what you want but I just wanted to share my experience. be safe and good luck!

[@hayleylozano1242]

Kaila Janae thank you!!

[@EvieBam]

Wow this video was the realest! I can relate to Amber on sooo many levels and it was so affirming to hear that you shouldn't feel hat you HAVE to do certain things if you aren't comfortable or don't enjoy them. Part of me felt pressure to behave as sexually liberated as my philosophy towards sex was - if that makes any sense? Intellectually, I am sexually liberated but subconsciously I am still so constrained and judge myself harshly based on an outdated repressive ideology that was ingrained during childhood. It's so liberating to hear these conversations and Amber's experience as I often feel ashamed that behaviourally I am not as liberated as others who are pro-sexual empowerment. Not sure if this comment even makes sense lol.

[@vickyasojo8931]

I love the fact that Ambers smile reaches her eye...it's really cute❤️