How Sexist is Korea? Our experiences feat.

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#genderequality #korea #socialissues
I invited Anna over and we talked about our experiences regarding gender equality and sexism in Korea. We each shared some of our own experiences, and the video was way too long cuz we had a lot to talk about so it will be divided into two parts :)
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0:00 Intro
2:56 Getting judged for not wearing makeup
4:16 Having to wear makeup for work
6:20 Old generation prefers boys over girls
7:26 'Je-sa' culture in Korea
9:45 Marriage culture in Korea
11:25 Senior culture in University
14:03 No tattoos for girls
15:13 Girl's can't drink out late
18:17 Act like a virgin
20:03 Talking about sexual desires as a women
20:43 Dating culture in Korea

[@KelseytheKorean]

Go watch us pick the Hottest Kpop Male idols on Anna's channel!: kzbin.info/www/bejne/amm7qGyJmd2Sias

[@yonggeun4222]

Well tattoos do look shit on a girl, same as make up looks good on a girl but bad on a boy and gay aswell, and girls value does decrease if she has sex with alot of guys, a guy has a dick he can do whatever he wants, and the thing about your parents not knowing youre having sex because youre in another country, thats why parents should stop sending their daighters to another country like seriously, and the girl worshipping the boys family when theyre married should chhange, it should be equal.

[@kyrabachmakova6738]

Is picking the hottest male idols not the same as rating girls based on their attractiveness? Your videos are great, and I learn so much! Sometimes we tend to judge people's behavior though and then do the exact same thing in a different context as well.

[@elok3]

collab with ssunbiki or velvet tube

[@basugunja]

@@yonggeun4222 I disagree with u. Sxsm ain't bad alwz.

[@basugunja]

@@MikiBorahae Mind your words and be polite. Sxsm s gd. And I ain't a sad fool at al. Don't forget that evolution of humans existed due 2 sxsm only. Benevolent sexism actually protects females and protects their respect, self-respect, dignity, honour and modesty. The whole world does not consist of nude culture seen in the West. Develop common sense enough to realise it. Yes exactly, a woman should not behave like a streetwalker. As for having boyfriend in another country, well, a girl residing in another country is out of access for her parents and thereby is free to do what she likes. But out of concern her parents still take care of her. I MYSELF BEING A LADY IN HER EARLY 30's AM SAYING ALL THESE. RESPECT, SELF-RESPECT, DIGNITY, HONOUR, MODESTY AND DECENCY OF A FEMALE PERSON IS OF A DIFFERENT LEVEL ALTOGETHER. Don't force your Western culture on others. In absolyut gndr eqality, fmls' rspct, slf-rspct, dgnity, modsty, honr & dcncy wud b cmpltly rooeind. Also, I WANT FEMALE PEOPLE TO BE PROTECTED AND SAFE FROM ANY KIND OF HARM AND ABUSE FROM ANY HUMAN BEING. Hence I believe that having sex in a non-marital relationship is not at all necessary, you can love and romance a person without having sex. We know humans love, but humans are most intelligent, brainy, most idealistic, strongest as well as responsible species as well. Hence they should keep in mind their own decency, morality, and civility as well. Norms regarding decency, indecency, obscenity, vulgarity, respectability, dignity, honour are all applicable for humans only, not for any other animal; due to which animals can have sex in open roads but humans for reasons of decency and dignity, cannot do so. I didn't say just having sex is bad; I just said that virginity of a female person is important. This is also because female people get pregnant and are physiologically different from boys and men. Decency of a female person is norm of human civilisation. Also, having random sex leads to diseases like HIV AIDS. I know it is 2021 and not 1800, but many norms of tradition should always be maintained be it 2021 or 10,0000021.

[@ThatgeekNolan]

In Korea, I had a coworker tell me “Usually, women in Korea dress pretty and wear makeup to work.” I looked her in the face and said “Cultural differences are really interesting. In Canada, it would be very offensive to ask anyone to do that.” End of discussion.

[@sana-kb1lh]

damn 😭🤣 what a great response 🤣🤣

[@lovely40052]

Party like a Russian~ End of discussion~ 😂😂😂😂

[@littlehoneybee2960]

Thank u sis am Canadian and black I find living there not easy for the woman over there

[@FM-jy7cm]

@@littlehoneybee2960, isn't easy to live there but stupid thing is they make those stupid rules. They are those who make unnecessary remark about someone appearance and look judgemental to each other. They create insecurity in each other so they should assume that.

[@charlyromero7388]

great response. If it were Spain the answer would be much more rude and you'll be right not that mean guy. It would be somthing like "and in Spain usually guys try not to be a pain in the ass, why don't you try? or better just shut up" I hope that you don't get these commets anymore

[@lizzz1263]

Honestly smoking is bad in general for guys and girls, but telling a girl to not smoke when u literally smoke is just 💀, THE AUDACITY

[@owochocolate9298]

I don’t smoke but I can even empathise with how rude it may be for a stranger to make a comment like that. ‘You ain’t my doctor, why are you worrying about a complete stranger’s health’?

[@sapihrcristal]

@@owochocolate9298 depending where you live "because if you get cancer the treatment is going to be payed by my tax money". I wish there was a way to make the cigarette industry pay for all the helth damege they cause. 😔

[@tingle2323]

@@owochocolate9298 its like people become so insensitive for criticizing the people who r telling truth.. And well by those people smoking around u can get breathing problems too.. Its more like people are being selfish that just don't say anything we will do whatever we want.. This kind of mindset isn't needed.

[@basugunja]

Not audacity, girls and women smoking suffer from menstrual cramps. Hence they should not smoke.

[@basugunja]

@@owochocolate9298 Not audacity, girls and women smoking suffer from menstrual cramps. Hence they should not smoke.

[@studytubee109]

except for the makeup part, India is pretty similar in its sexist behavior I remember how much my grandmother prayed for having a grandson she even went for pilgrimages and after my brother was born she celebrated like anything. I do all her chores clean her house, cook for her every time I visit and he gets praised even for breathing

[@marlen2227]

same here in middle east sadly

[@mylovejimin613]

Same I know how it's feels 😢😢😢😢

[@studytubee109]

@Ami - YT - chann girl.... you think that's possible

[@jinslejindarypinkmic8241]

I am pretty lucky then cuz in my family like they do want boy but I never felt discriminated by anyone and infact I am like the most adored in the family and my grandmother literally said she would give her property to us grand daughters and not the grandsons bc they are useless i- 😂

[@studytubee109]

@@jinslejindarypinkmic8241 you're lucky bro

[@carolesanders3053]

And I forgot to mention the Prime Minister of New Zealand is an unmarried mother, Jacinda Arden of a 3 year old daughter . Jacinda was voted in as the best person for the job, by males and females. Girls can do Anything.

[@lauragoreni3020]

One of the reasons I want to move to NZ one day

[@a-ee7840]

💀💀her popularity went way down this year tho. Might not make it for another term

[@tingle2323]

Well i don't think it is something to be told.. Girls and women are doing many things and are being praised.. I think these ,being girls and girls can do anything logic.. Its like people have to tell that look girls can do, all the time. And jacinda has lose favour too. And also being single mother isn't something trophy.. There r many single mother and father making taking care of their children from poors to richs. Look like we only see those single parent cool who are unmarried or just got pregnant in young age or who look cool.. But not other single parent

[@Sofiaode18]

@@tingle2323 ...what

[@veronikapoliakova7603]

I am from Slovakia and we have female President. She was voted by women and men, but that doesnt take away from the sexism, misogyny, etc. in our country. We are, however, very proud to have such graceful president.

[@jlynnd1616]

A Korean woman with a London accent with just a hint of Korean accent. That's the coolest thing I've seen all day! 🤣

[@jschneider118]

Dasha Taran.

[@lpk4396]

@@jschneider118 dasha Isn’t korean

[@dalia8518]

Ummmm yes she is

[@snehathapa584]

@@dalia8518 shes not

[@lpk4396]

@@dalia8518 no she isn’t

[@navyblue1538]

So many comments saying their culture is similar...sexism is universal...

[@tahiraalaraf7505]

Yeah! Well myb another 100 years until sexism goes away 🥲

[@humans_are_parasites2722]

Yes of course, but the others are mostly mentioning countries in which sexism is quite extreme since the majority, if not everyone, are subjugated and ruled by these assigned traditional roles. These countries tend to be much more close-minded compared to liberal countries. In any case, sexism is obviously universal, but can be much more arduous to exterminate in certain countries due to traditional beliefs and values.

[@VaaleeLol]

Yes, but being from a western country, I’ve haven’t face most of these issues (other yes, but not many of these ones), so it’s interesting to watch.

[@bmwjourdandunngoddess6024]

Country, not culture. They’re talking about their countries.

[@basugunja]

And sexism ain't bad necessarily since humans belonging to different sexes sexism is bound to and should occur.

[@almamater489]

So Korean sexism is just Western culture sexism, but without a filter

[@m3lodic.33]

It’s Korean culture already to be blunt and straight to the point. So I had Korean men flat out be open with their misogyny. My ex was one!

[@layloo5244]

Nah not rlly. Dont thing it can be compared to the western world

[@rjlee-cc4xy]

@@layloo5244 elaborate?

[@bmwjourdandunngoddess6024]

Pls don’t try to compare sexism on such a scale, ONE country compared to the WHOLE WEST. The west is not white, and you’re not being intersectional.

[@bmwjourdandunngoddess6024]

@@layloo5244 Thank you, it’s like these white feminist never do their research.

[@Sophie-dd5xr]

I worked in Korea and was told by my boss that I should wear makeup. I was hired for being foreign and a westerner, so I told them that I didn’t like to wear makeup and women aren’t forced to wear makeup in the west. She kept talking to me about it to the point that I got annoyed and told her that it’s considered misogynist to require wearing makeup and that she hired me because I’m a foreigner so she shouldn’t be shocked that I wanted to keep some parts of my own culture. She just got confused and I think never asked again because she was shy about not understanding and didn’t want to lose face.

[@Forest__Dream]

I think it's like the women are expected to be feminine/people prefer feminine women there. I am very feminine so I get this concept (but even I hate the feel of makeup/only wear very light)... I would NEVER ask or suggest someone to do it if I know that is not in their personality! We are HUMANS. SK seems very conformist and traditional. The more I study about SK, the more I understand that I may be very uncomfortable there :( I am so deep into the language too ughh...

[@Sophie-dd5xr]

@@Forest__Dream Yup. It took me a year to realize that building a life there that I wanted was like asking to win the lottery. I didn’t want to live in a big city because of smog. I wanted to have a relationship that eventually turns into starting a family. I wanted to be accepted fully, and ultimately that’s not really possible even though it’s not asking much. Even my friends who have been there for close to a decade aren’t considered as anything but foreigner and “for fun.” Like, a piece of arm candy because “look at me! I’ve got a foreigner girlfriend!” but never marriage material. I’m Asian. Have been told I look Korean, yet failed to meet a guy willing to take me seriously. I mean, they legit have a saying “riding the white horse” which is a bucket list item for many/most men. It means sleeping with a white woman. It’s disgusting. And if you’re Black…good luck… I had 4 Black friends there and one was denied entrance into a restaurant when we went out with other foreigner friends (all others were white except me), and the other was waiting for a bus and the driver refused to stop for her even though I was with her and had taken that bus multiple times with that driver. We legit ran after it and he still refused. And those are only the things I witnessed… :/ I mean, interracial couples/marriages happen, but it is not the norm nor is it easy to find outside of big cities. I figured I’d quit while ahead…

[@Forest__Dream]

@@Sophie-dd5xr Omg!! Thank you for opening up about this.. it's important that we all know the truth. From what I understand, if you share your feelings (in your case- opening up about who you really are) with the actual residents, they may deny your truth, or they may or may not have sympathy for you. I really like the lottery analogy! You just never know the odds that you'll be actually happy there. That's enough to make a lot of us blind folk reconsider going. I appreciate this post! Maybe I'll visit, but never live there. It's discouraging studying the language just to have issues. They are so homogeneous, so I understand most of their reasoning...but there are too many excuses and hiding behind what's "acceptable" when it comes to blatent racism and sexism. I'm sorry you went through so much..You deserve happiness and an accepting family! ❤️

[@Sophie-dd5xr]

@@Forest__Dream Yeah, but if you’d like to go for a year or two for goals that don’t pertain to anything longterm or relationship, I’d definitely still look into it. Living abroad is an amazing experience. It has taught me so much about what is important to me and how I want to live. And I loved my students and time there as a whole (I’m a teacher). I’m just now in a different stage of life and focusing more on things that I can’t accomplish there without giving up core parts of me (like my natural femininity and contentedness with my natural body, unwillingness to adhere to the beauty standards as a whole, my open mindedness, and liberal social views of gay marriage acceptance and self identification of pansexual, etc.) But if I were in my young 20s again and wanted to explore something new, I’d do it all over again. It taught me a whole hell of a lot of the language. I now have Korean friends and other English speaking friends from all over the world. And I got to experience being in the majority in a crowd for the first time in my life. I have always been a minority in being Asian. Grew up in a white town. Went to college in a majority white area. But stepping off that plane and being able to blend in and have everyone look a bit like you… that’s an amazing experience in itself. I don’t want to fully discourage you. Living abroad always has its perks and cons. It really depends on where you are in your life and if your underlying goals match what you’re getting yourself into. If you’re young and still have room for exploration in your life, I’d still highly suggest it.

[@Forest__Dream]

@@Sophie-dd5xr THANK YOU FOR THIS! I am learning so much from you alone. Sooo, I am actually black... oddly enough, I look mixed.. like light skin and curly hair. And I'm not gonna lie, mixed looking people (females in my experiences) get treated fair if not really well in the U.S. by men... with Asian women, I'm not sure, but people are interracial very regularly, in the U.S Perhaps, it's easier for you (you) to date other Asians on surface level, until you realise how different your views are.. My point is, researching SK has made me more aware of my blackness in a way I've never felt in the U.S. (a lot of dark skinned people experience everywhere it's so sad.)... I now realize that blending in physically is what makes us feel at home. Sigh. I yern for the Korean gun laws and Healthcare system. I will do more research. I appreciate you giving me a time stamp like 1-2 yrs. After all this research, I thought maybe to stay for a week and keep to myself 😭😂 Lastly, I'm happy you know your worth!! That's really important. People and traditions will put you in a box, telling you to be a certain way. I've learned that when you walk away, you open doors for yourself to live and be treated the way you want to be. Good on you miss lady!

[@yasmeennizam4206]

People watching kdrama's and creating their on fantasy world 🙂 Every Country have the good and bad kind of cultures and their is nothing wrong in talking about it openly Thanks for enlightening good's and bad's 😚

[@rosean374]

Exactly. The good, the bad and the ugly exist in every society, every culture, every family. Even royal families and Vatican. Nowhere is perfect.

[@basugunja]

THERE BEING HUMANS OF DIFFERENT SEXES AND GENDERS, SEXISM IS BOUND TO OCCUR. I PERSONALLY AM NOT AGAINST SEXISM SINCE I SUPPORT BENEVOLENT SEXISM TOWARDS FEMALES A LOT. AND, I LOVE GENDER STANDARDS AND GENDER STEREOTYPES. I DON'T FIND GENDER STEREOTYPES TO BE WRONG. DON'T FORGET I AM A GYNOCENTRIST AND A HUMANITARIAN MYSELF THOUGH. 1. WELL, I AM A WOMAN IN MY EARLY 30'S MYSELF FROM INDIA, AND I DO HATE SMOKING, DRINKING AND WEARING TATTOOS. ALSO, BECAUSE OF GYNAECOLOGICAL REASONS A GIRL OR A WOMAN SHOULD NOT SMOKE SINCE SMOKING LEADS TO MENSTRUAL CRAMPS; I MYSELF UPON SEARCHING REGARDING IT ON INTERNET AND EVEN IN MANY MEDICAL BOOKS, I FOUND IT THAT SMOKING IS A CAUSE FOR MENSTRUAL CRAMPS, AND HENCE GIRLS AND WOMEN SHOULD NOT SMOKE. SMOKING AND ALCOHOL ARE ANYWAY INJURIOUS TO HEALTH FOR OTHER REASONS AS WELL. 2. WELL, WEARING MAKE UPS TO OFFICE SHOULD NOT COMPULSORY AS PER OFFICE RULES BUT GIRLS AND WOMEN ANYWAY BEING THE FAIRER GENDER BETTER WEAR MAKE UPS TO LOOK GOOD. I MYSELF HAVE BEEN WEARING MAKE-UP OR AT LEAST JUST ONE KOHL & LIP GLOSS EVERYDAY EVER SINCE 3RD YEAR OF MY UNDERGRADUATE UNIVERSITY. 4:00 to 4:10 ..... I KNOW YOU WERE HURT BY HIS WORDS BUT I MYSELF WEAR GLASSES AND I LOOK GOOD WITHOUT GLASSES AND I MIGHT NOT HAVE MINDED LIKE HOW YOU MINDED. 6:31 TO 7:21 ..... THIS THING TILL DATE EXISTS IN INDIAN SUBCONTINENT. 7:49 TO 7:52 ..... THIS THING IS A BIG PART OF INDIAN WEDDING TRADITION BUT IT HAS GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH HOLIDAYS. I LOVE IT PERSONALLY WHERE THE NEWLY WEDDED BRIDE ENTERS HER HUSBAND'S HOME AND COOKS FOOD FOR THE ENTIRE FAMILY. AT LEAST THEY HAVE TO PREPARE ONE SWEET DISH AS PER TRADITION. 8:30 TO 9:20 ..... SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT KELSEY'S MOM'S EXPERIENCE. BUT SUCH BEHAVIOURS FROM IN-LAWS ARE FACED BY MARRIED WOMEN IN INDIA TILL DATE. AND YEAH, SAME IN INDIA TOO THAT WHEN A MAN COMES TO HIS WIFE'S PARENTAL HOME HE IS TREATED LIKE SOME KING. PATRIARCHY AND MALE DOMINATION ARE REASONS FOR IT. 10:06 ..... A MAN BUYING HOUSE FOR MARRIAGE IS NOT AT ALL RIDICULOUS SINCE DUE TO PATRIARCHY AND ALSO FOR REASONS OF MALE DOMINATION IN OUR WORLD, MEN USUALLY EARN MORE THAN WOMEN AND IS EXPECTED TO RUN HIS FAMILY AND LOOK AFTER HIS FAMILY OUT OF HIS EXPENSES. 10:38 TO 11:19 ..... SAME THING IS IN INDIA AND IN REST OF THE COUNTRIES OF INDIAN SUBCONTINENT AS WELL. MARRIAGE IS BASICALLY BETWEEN TWO FAMILIES. 11:20 TO 12:07 .... LOL. THIS IS FUNNY AND CUTE IN MY OPINION. 12:15 TO 12:36 .... WELL, I KNOW THIS CAN BE VERY OFFENDING TO YOU, HENCE I WOULD SUGGEST ALL LADIES TO JUST IGNORE SUCH CHATS OF MEN, AND BY CHANCE IF YOU FIND ANYTHING TOO OBJECTIONABLE OR OBSCENE ON THESE CHATS, I SUGGEST YOU ALL TO COMPLAIN AGAINST SUCH CHATS TO POLICE IF LADIES' MODESTY ARE HARMED BY SUCH CHATS. 13:20 TO 13:33 ..... NOW IF THE GIRLS ARE OFFENDED THEN HE SHOULD STOP. BEING ELDER THAN BOTH OF YOU, KELSEY AND ANNA/ANNE, I KNOW THAT NO COUNTRY, NO PLACE PROGRESSES IF ITS FEMALES ARE NOT RESPECTED AND EMPOWERED. HENCE, IF A FEMALE PERSON IS UNCOMFORTABLE FOR WHATSOEVER REASON WITH A MALE PERSON'S BEHAVIOUR(S), HE SHOULD STOP RIGHT AT THE MOMENT OTHERWISE THAT WOULD BE ABUSE OF THAT FEMALE. HIM BEING A SUNBAE MAKES NO DIFFERENCE. RESPECT OF A FEMALE PERSON IRRESPECTIVE OF HER AGE IS MORE CRUCIAL THAN RESPECT OF A MEL SUNBE. 14:00 TO 15:18 ..... SORRY ANNA/ANNE, I FULLY AGREE WITH YOUR DAD ON THIS AND I AM A FEMALE MYSELF. I MYSELF HATE TATTOOS AND TATTOOS LOOK UGLY ON FEMALE PEOPLE; THEY RUIN A PERSON'S LOOKS. AND YEAH RIGHT, TATTOOS ACTUALLY DOES GIVE GANGSTER LIKE LOOK. AND EVEN IN INDIA, FEMALES SMOKING AND DRINKING IS CONSIDERED TO BE BAD FOR THE REASON OF HER OWN SAFETY MAINLY AND ALSO FOR HER OWN DIGNITY, MODESTY AND DECENCY. I MYSELF DON'T SMOKE AND DRINK AND FOR GYNAECOLOGICAL ISSUES, GIRLS AND WOMEN SHOULD ANYWAY NOT SMOKE. 15:19 TO 15:42 ..... A GIRL DRINKING AND COMING HOME LATE AT NIGHT IS AN ISSUE IN MANY PLACES LIKE INDIA AS WELL. SAME GOES FOR MY COUNTRY INDIA REGARDING THE REST OF THE THINGS YOU SAID. 15:43 TO 15:52 ...... WELL, THE REASON HE WOULDN'T SAY SUCH THINGS TO HIS SON IS BECAUSE FEMALES ARE PHYSIOLOGICALLY AND IN MANY OTHER WAYS DIFFERENT FROM MALES AND AS PER NORMS OF HUMAN CIVILIZATION, MODEST AND DECENCY OF A FEMALE PERSON IS OF A DIFFERENT LEVEL ALTOGETHER. 15:53 TO 16:42 ..... I AGREE WITH YOUR PARENTS BEING AN INDIAN WOMAN MYSELF. AND BE IT INDIA, IN OTHER PARTS OF ASIA, IN THE WEST OR IN ANY OTHER PART OF THE WORLD, RESPECT, SELF-RESPECT, DIGNITY, MODESTY, DECENCY AND HONOUR OF A FEMALE PERSON IS OF A DIFFERENT LEVEL ALTOGETHER. 16:43 TO 16:58 ..... SAME THING WITH MAJORITY OF INDIAN PARENTS AS WELL INCLUDING MY OWN PARENTS. THEY DON'T WANT ME TO GET LAID WITH A GUY ON BED BEFORE MARRIAGE. AND EVEN I MYSELF DON'T LIKE PRE-MARITAL SEX BECAUSE OF PREGNANCY ISSUES AS WELL AS ISSUES OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT. 17:06 TO 17:16 ..... WELL NO KELSEY, I DON'T AGREE WITH YOU ON THIS. IF A FEMALE PERSON IS MORALLY AND MENTALLY STRONG ENOUGH THEN SHE CAN CONTROL HER LIBIDO FROM RUINING HER VIRGINITY BEFORE MARRIAGE. VIRGINITY OF A FEMALE PERSON IS VERY VERY IMPORTANT AS PER NORMS OF HUMAN CIVILIZATION. ALSO, MIND YOU, RESPECT, SELF-RESPECT, DIGNITY, MODESTY, DECENCY AND HONOUR OF A FEMALE PERSON IS OF A DIFFERENT LEVEL ALTOGETHER. I DESPITE BEING IN MY EARLY 30'S AM VERY MUCH SINGLE AND AM A VIRGIN. NOT THAT NO GUY EVER APPROACHED ME FOR RELATIONSHIP OR THAT I NEVER HAD ANY INTEREST IN A GUY, IT IS JUST THAT I STRONGLY BELIEVE IN MY OWN SAFETY, SECURITY, DIGNITY, DECENCY AND MODESTY AS A FEMALE PERSON IN EVERY WAY AND THEREFORE HAVE NEVER SLEPT WITH ANY GUY. ALSO, MY COUNTRY INDIA IS VERY VERY CONSERVATIVE WHERE A FEMALE'S MORALITY AND CHARACTER IS JUDGED VERY STRONGLY. I DO GET ROMANTICAL URGES AND ALL, BUT I SATISFY THEM BY READING ROMANTIC FICTIONS ESPECIALLY MILLS & BOON STORIES, AS WELL AS BY WATCHING ROMANTIC HOLLYWOOD AND MY COUNTRY'S BOLLYWOOD MOVIES. 18:42 TO 18:57 .... WELL, I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOUR GRANDMOTHER BUT I DO BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN DATE OR ROMANCE A GUY WITHOUT HAVING SEX. INNUMERABLE INDIANS DATE BEFORE MARRIAGE WITHOUT HAVING SEX. I TOO, IF I EVER DATE SOMEONE I WOULD NEVER MAKE OUT WITH HIM. BY UPBRINGING, MY VALUES, MY IDEOLOGIES, MY MINDSETS, MY MODESTY AND DECENCY AS A FEMALE PERSON WOULD FORBID ME FROM DOING SO. 18:58 TO 19:02 .... ANNA, THIS HAS GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH BEING A GRANDMA. LIKE I AM UNMARRIED, SINGLE AND A YOUNG VIRGIN WOMAN IN MY EARLY 30'S AND I TOO AGREE WITH THE GRANDMA EXCEPT THE THING THAT ONE SHOULD NOT DATE; CZ EVEN WITHOUT HAVING SEX ONE CAN ROMANCE ANOTHER. 19:18 TO 19:33 ...... I TOTALLY DISAGREE WITH ANNA. I MYSELF AM IN EARLY 30'S AND HAVE BEEN SINGLE AND VIRGIN THROUGHOUT MY LIFE AND MANY OF MY FEMALE FRIENDS ARE SAME. IT IS VERY MUCH POSSIBLE AND NORMAL TO NOT MAKE OUT WITH YOUR PARTNER DESPITE HAVING AFFAIR WITH HIM/HER IN YOUR 20'S BE IT A GUY OR A LADY. A LADY NEED NOT BE A NYMPHOMANIAC. 19:40 TO 19:45 ..... WELL ANNA, MAJORITY OF INDIAN PARENTS HAVE NOT KISSED OR HAD SEX WITH ANYONE BEFORE THEIR MARRIAGE. I DESPITE BEING A YOUNG WOMAN IN MY EARLY 30'S HAVE NEVER EVER KISSED ANYONE EITHER AND I KNOW MANY OF MY FEMALE FRIENDS WHO HAVEN'T DONE SO. HENCE DON'T JUST MAKE ASSUMPTIONS. THE WORLD IS QUITE BIG, AND THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT KINDS THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE. 19:55 TO 20:03 ...... THIS THING HAPPENS IN INDIA TILL DATE. 20:04 TO 20:10 .... ANNA, YES ONE CAN BE SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TOWARDS OTHERS BUT THEN, THE WORD "SEXUAL" BEING VERY CONTROVERSIAL, ONE WOULD USE JUST THE WORD "ATTRACTION" OR THE WORD "ROMANTICAL ATTRACTION" IN THIS REGARD; AND YES, ROMANTICAL ATTRACTION TOWARDS ANYONE IS NORMAL BUT IT IS NOT NECESSARY TO HAVE SEX OR TO DESTROY ONE'S VIRGINITY OUT OF SUCH ATTRACTION. A DECENT GIRL OR A WOMAN SHOULD CONTROL HER LIBIDO FROM TAKING OVER THE GOOD SIDE OF HER. 20:56 TO 21:06 .... NOW IF SOMEONE DATES OTHER PEOPLE AS WELL DESPITE DATING ONE PARTICULAR PERSON, I WOULD DOWNRIGHT CALL IT CHEATING, AND ANY PROPERLY SENSIBLE AND ETHICAL PERSON WOULD CALL THAT CHEATING AS WELL; LIKE, ONCE YOU ACTUALLY START DATING SOMEONE YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH THAT PERSON AND YOU SHOULD BE COMPLETELY LOYAL TO THAT PERSON WHICH EVEN INDIANS BELIEVE SO. 22:00 TO 22:05 .... SAME IN INDIA ALSO IN MANY PLACES. 22:25 TO 22:37 ..... NOW, HAVING SEX WITH SOMEONE DESPITE NOT BEING IN RELATIONSHIP WITH THAT PERSON IS SOMETHING I FIND QUITE UGLY AND GROSS. 22:55 TO 23:10 ..... WELL, A PERSON HAVING SEX WITH MULTIPLE NUMBER OF PEOPLE WITHOUT BEING IN RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM IS ACTUALLY A CHARACTERLESS PERSON IN MY OPINION. AND THIS IS THE REASON WHY I DON'T LIKE CONTEMPORARY WESTERN CULTURE. 23:30 TO 23:36 ...... WELL, PEOPLE GETTING TOGETHER EASILY AS WELL AS BREAKING UP EASILY IS ALSO SEEN IN U.S.A. I GUESS. 23:40 TO 23:45 .... I THINK IT IS OKAY TO HAVE RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE FOR A FEW WEEKS AND THEN LEAVE THAT PERSON.

[@basugunja]

@@rosean374 THERE BEING HUMANS OF DIFFERENT SEXES AND GENDERS, SEXISM IS BOUND TO OCCUR. I PERSONALLY AM NOT AGAINST SEXISM SINCE I SUPPORT BENEVOLENT SEXISM TOWARDS FEMALES A LOT. AND, I LOVE GENDER STANDARDS AND GENDER STEREOTYPES. I DON'T FIND GENDER STEREOTYPES TO BE WRONG. DON'T FORGET I AM A GYNOCENTRIST AND A HUMANITARIAN MYSELF THOUGH. 1. WELL, I AM A WOMAN IN MY EARLY 30'S MYSELF FROM INDIA, AND I DO HATE SMOKING, DRINKING AND WEARING TATTOOS. ALSO, BECAUSE OF GYNAECOLOGICAL REASONS A GIRL OR A WOMAN SHOULD NOT SMOKE SINCE SMOKING LEADS TO MENSTRUAL CRAMPS; I MYSELF UPON SEARCHING REGARDING IT ON INTERNET AND EVEN IN MANY MEDICAL BOOKS, I FOUND IT THAT SMOKING IS A CAUSE FOR MENSTRUAL CRAMPS, AND HENCE GIRLS AND WOMEN SHOULD NOT SMOKE. SMOKING AND ALCOHOL ARE ANYWAY INJURIOUS TO HEALTH FOR OTHER REASONS AS WELL. 2. WELL, WEARING MAKE UPS TO OFFICE SHOULD NOT COMPULSORY AS PER OFFICE RULES BUT GIRLS AND WOMEN ANYWAY BEING THE FAIRER GENDER BETTER WEAR MAKE UPS TO LOOK GOOD. I MYSELF HAVE BEEN WEARING MAKE-UP OR AT LEAST JUST ONE KOHL & LIP GLOSS EVERYDAY EVER SINCE 3RD YEAR OF MY UNDERGRADUATE UNIVERSITY. 4:00 to 4:10 ..... I KNOW YOU WERE HURT BY HIS WORDS BUT I MYSELF WEAR GLASSES AND I LOOK GOOD WITHOUT GLASSES AND I MIGHT NOT HAVE MINDED LIKE HOW YOU MINDED. 6:31 TO 7:21 ..... THIS THING TILL DATE EXISTS IN INDIAN SUBCONTINENT. 7:49 TO 7:52 ..... THIS THING IS A BIG PART OF INDIAN WEDDING TRADITION BUT IT HAS GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH HOLIDAYS. I LOVE IT PERSONALLY WHERE THE NEWLY WEDDED BRIDE ENTERS HER HUSBAND'S HOME AND COOKS FOOD FOR THE ENTIRE FAMILY. AT LEAST THEY HAVE TO PREPARE ONE SWEET DISH AS PER TRADITION. 8:30 TO 9:20 ..... SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT KELSEY'S MOM'S EXPERIENCE. BUT SUCH BEHAVIOURS FROM IN-LAWS ARE FACED BY MARRIED WOMEN IN INDIA TILL DATE. AND YEAH, SAME IN INDIA TOO THAT WHEN A MAN COMES TO HIS WIFE'S PARENTAL HOME HE IS TREATED LIKE SOME KING. PATRIARCHY AND MALE DOMINATION ARE REASONS FOR IT. 10:06 ..... A MAN BUYING HOUSE FOR MARRIAGE IS NOT AT ALL RIDICULOUS SINCE DUE TO PATRIARCHY AND ALSO FOR REASONS OF MALE DOMINATION IN OUR WORLD, MEN USUALLY EARN MORE THAN WOMEN AND IS EXPECTED TO RUN HIS FAMILY AND LOOK AFTER HIS FAMILY OUT OF HIS EXPENSES. 10:38 TO 11:19 ..... SAME THING IS IN INDIA AND IN REST OF THE COUNTRIES OF INDIAN SUBCONTINENT AS WELL. MARRIAGE IS BASICALLY BETWEEN TWO FAMILIES. 11:20 TO 12:07 .... LOL. THIS IS FUNNY AND CUTE IN MY OPINION. 12:15 TO 12:36 .... WELL, I KNOW THIS CAN BE VERY OFFENDING TO YOU, HENCE I WOULD SUGGEST ALL LADIES TO JUST IGNORE SUCH CHATS OF MEN, AND BY CHANCE IF YOU FIND ANYTHING TOO OBJECTIONABLE OR OBSCENE ON THESE CHATS, I SUGGEST YOU ALL TO COMPLAIN AGAINST SUCH CHATS TO POLICE IF LADIES' MODESTY ARE HARMED BY SUCH CHATS. 13:20 TO 13:33 ..... NOW IF THE GIRLS ARE OFFENDED THEN HE SHOULD STOP. BEING ELDER THAN BOTH OF YOU, KELSEY AND ANNA/ANNE, I KNOW THAT NO COUNTRY, NO PLACE PROGRESSES IF ITS FEMALES ARE NOT RESPECTED AND EMPOWERED. HENCE, IF A FEMALE PERSON IS UNCOMFORTABLE FOR WHATSOEVER REASON WITH A MALE PERSON'S BEHAVIOUR(S), HE SHOULD STOP RIGHT AT THE MOMENT OTHERWISE THAT WOULD BE ABUSE OF THAT FEMALE. HIM BEING A SUNBAE MAKES NO DIFFERENCE. RESPECT OF A FEMALE PERSON IRRESPECTIVE OF HER AGE IS MORE CRUCIAL THAN RESPECT OF A MEL SUNBE. 14:00 TO 15:18 ..... SORRY ANNA/ANNE, I FULLY AGREE WITH YOUR DAD ON THIS AND I AM A FEMALE MYSELF. I MYSELF HATE TATTOOS AND TATTOOS LOOK UGLY ON FEMALE PEOPLE; THEY RUIN A PERSON'S LOOKS. AND YEAH RIGHT, TATTOOS ACTUALLY DOES GIVE GANGSTER LIKE LOOK. AND EVEN IN INDIA, FEMALES SMOKING AND DRINKING IS CONSIDERED TO BE BAD FOR THE REASON OF HER OWN SAFETY MAINLY AND ALSO FOR HER OWN DIGNITY, MODESTY AND DECENCY. I MYSELF DON'T SMOKE AND DRINK AND FOR GYNAECOLOGICAL ISSUES, GIRLS AND WOMEN SHOULD ANYWAY NOT SMOKE. 15:19 TO 15:42 ..... A GIRL DRINKING AND COMING HOME LATE AT NIGHT IS AN ISSUE IN MANY PLACES LIKE INDIA AS WELL. SAME GOES FOR MY COUNTRY INDIA REGARDING THE REST OF THE THINGS YOU SAID. 15:43 TO 15:52 ...... WELL, THE REASON HE WOULDN'T SAY SUCH THINGS TO HIS SON IS BECAUSE FEMALES ARE PHYSIOLOGICALLY AND IN MANY OTHER WAYS DIFFERENT FROM MALES AND AS PER NORMS OF HUMAN CIVILIZATION, MODEST AND DECENCY OF A FEMALE PERSON IS OF A DIFFERENT LEVEL ALTOGETHER. 15:53 TO 16:42 ..... I AGREE WITH YOUR PARENTS BEING AN INDIAN WOMAN MYSELF. AND BE IT INDIA, IN OTHER PARTS OF ASIA, IN THE WEST OR IN ANY OTHER PART OF THE WORLD, RESPECT, SELF-RESPECT, DIGNITY, MODESTY, DECENCY AND HONOUR OF A FEMALE PERSON IS OF A DIFFERENT LEVEL ALTOGETHER. 16:43 TO 16:58 ..... SAME THING WITH MAJORITY OF INDIAN PARENTS AS WELL INCLUDING MY OWN PARENTS. THEY DON'T WANT ME TO GET LAID WITH A GUY ON BED BEFORE MARRIAGE. AND EVEN I MYSELF DON'T LIKE PRE-MARITAL SEX BECAUSE OF PREGNANCY ISSUES AS WELL AS ISSUES OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT. 17:06 TO 17:16 ..... WELL NO KELSEY, I DON'T AGREE WITH YOU ON THIS. IF A FEMALE PERSON IS MORALLY AND MENTALLY STRONG ENOUGH THEN SHE CAN CONTROL HER LIBIDO FROM RUINING HER VIRGINITY BEFORE MARRIAGE. VIRGINITY OF A FEMALE PERSON IS VERY VERY IMPORTANT AS PER NORMS OF HUMAN CIVILIZATION. ALSO, MIND YOU, RESPECT, SELF-RESPECT, DIGNITY, MODESTY, DECENCY AND HONOUR OF A FEMALE PERSON IS OF A DIFFERENT LEVEL ALTOGETHER. I DESPITE BEING IN MY EARLY 30'S AM VERY MUCH SINGLE AND AM A VIRGIN. NOT THAT NO GUY EVER APPROACHED ME FOR RELATIONSHIP OR THAT I NEVER HAD ANY INTEREST IN A GUY, IT IS JUST THAT I STRONGLY BELIEVE IN MY OWN SAFETY, SECURITY, DIGNITY, DECENCY AND MODESTY AS A FEMALE PERSON IN EVERY WAY AND THEREFORE HAVE NEVER SLEPT WITH ANY GUY. ALSO, MY COUNTRY INDIA IS VERY VERY CONSERVATIVE WHERE A FEMALE'S MORALITY AND CHARACTER IS JUDGED VERY STRONGLY. I DO GET ROMANTICAL URGES AND ALL, BUT I SATISFY THEM BY READING ROMANTIC FICTIONS ESPECIALLY MILLS & BOON STORIES, AS WELL AS BY WATCHING ROMANTIC HOLLYWOOD AND MY COUNTRY'S BOLLYWOOD MOVIES. 18:42 TO 18:57 .... WELL, I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOUR GRANDMOTHER BUT I DO BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN DATE OR ROMANCE A GUY WITHOUT HAVING SEX. INNUMERABLE INDIANS DATE BEFORE MARRIAGE WITHOUT HAVING SEX. I TOO, IF I EVER DATE SOMEONE I WOULD NEVER MAKE OUT WITH HIM. BY UPBRINGING, MY VALUES, MY IDEOLOGIES, MY MINDSETS, MY MODESTY AND DECENCY AS A FEMALE PERSON WOULD FORBID ME FROM DOING SO. 18:58 TO 19:02 .... ANNA, THIS HAS GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH BEING A GRANDMA. LIKE I AM UNMARRIED, SINGLE AND A YOUNG VIRGIN WOMAN IN MY EARLY 30'S AND I TOO AGREE WITH THE GRANDMA EXCEPT THE THING THAT ONE SHOULD NOT DATE; CZ EVEN WITHOUT HAVING SEX ONE CAN ROMANCE ANOTHER. 19:18 TO 19:33 ...... I TOTALLY DISAGREE WITH ANNA. I MYSELF AM IN EARLY 30'S AND HAVE BEEN SINGLE AND VIRGIN THROUGHOUT MY LIFE AND MANY OF MY FEMALE FRIENDS ARE SAME. IT IS VERY MUCH POSSIBLE AND NORMAL TO NOT MAKE OUT WITH YOUR PARTNER DESPITE HAVING AFFAIR WITH HIM/HER IN YOUR 20'S BE IT A GUY OR A LADY. A LADY NEED NOT BE A NYMPHOMANIAC. 19:40 TO 19:45 ..... WELL ANNA, MAJORITY OF INDIAN PARENTS HAVE NOT KISSED OR HAD SEX WITH ANYONE BEFORE THEIR MARRIAGE. I DESPITE BEING A YOUNG WOMAN IN MY EARLY 30'S HAVE NEVER EVER KISSED ANYONE EITHER AND I KNOW MANY OF MY FEMALE FRIENDS WHO HAVEN'T DONE SO. HENCE DON'T JUST MAKE ASSUMPTIONS. THE WORLD IS QUITE BIG, AND THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT KINDS THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE. 19:55 TO 20:03 ...... THIS THING HAPPENS IN INDIA TILL DATE. 20:04 TO 20:10 .... ANNA, YES ONE CAN BE SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TOWARDS OTHERS BUT THEN, THE WORD "SEXUAL" BEING VERY CONTROVERSIAL, ONE WOULD USE JUST THE WORD "ATTRACTION" OR THE WORD "ROMANTICAL ATTRACTION" IN THIS REGARD; AND YES, ROMANTICAL ATTRACTION TOWARDS ANYONE IS NORMAL BUT IT IS NOT NECESSARY TO HAVE SEX OR TO DESTROY ONE'S VIRGINITY OUT OF SUCH ATTRACTION. A DECENT GIRL OR A WOMAN SHOULD CONTROL HER LIBIDO FROM TAKING OVER THE GOOD SIDE OF HER. 20:56 TO 21:06 .... NOW IF SOMEONE DATES OTHER PEOPLE AS WELL DESPITE DATING ONE PARTICULAR PERSON, I WOULD DOWNRIGHT CALL IT CHEATING, AND ANY PROPERLY SENSIBLE AND ETHICAL PERSON WOULD CALL THAT CHEATING AS WELL; LIKE, ONCE YOU ACTUALLY START DATING SOMEONE YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH THAT PERSON AND YOU SHOULD BE COMPLETELY LOYAL TO THAT PERSON WHICH EVEN INDIANS BELIEVE SO. 22:00 TO 22:05 .... SAME IN INDIA ALSO IN MANY PLACES. 22:25 TO 22:37 ..... NOW, HAVING SEX WITH SOMEONE DESPITE NOT BEING IN RELATIONSHIP WITH THAT PERSON IS SOMETHING I FIND QUITE UGLY AND GROSS. 22:55 TO 23:10 ..... WELL, A PERSON HAVING SEX WITH MULTIPLE NUMBER OF PEOPLE WITHOUT BEING IN RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM IS ACTUALLY A CHARACTERLESS PERSON IN MY OPINION. AND THIS IS THE REASON WHY I DON'T LIKE CONTEMPORARY WESTERN CULTURE. 23:30 TO 23:36 ...... WELL, PEOPLE GETTING TOGETHER EASILY AS WELL AS BREAKING UP EASILY IS ALSO SEEN IN U.S.A. I GUESS. 23:40 TO 23:45 .... I THINK IT IS OKAY TO HAVE RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE FOR A FEW WEEKS AND THEN LEAVE THAT PERSON.

[@yasmeennizam4206]

So if you hate tattoos, smoking and drinking doesn't mean other's can't do it and as you are saying tattoos ruins person's Beauty and smoking and drinking is injurious to health then is it ok if boys do these things? smoking and drinking Don't it spoil their health too? Don't tattoo give gangster look to boys also ? I DON'T GET IT WHY YOU ARE IMPOSING ALL THE DECENCY AND MODESTY NORMS ON GIRLS OR WOMEN'S ONLY??

[@rainachoudhary6861]

sab ek hadd mai hi shi lagta hai for all humans you cannot just live on that which can be either alcohol, smoking or drugs. All the relations, habits etc. can be a part of your life or your personality but when that one thing starts defining you, you know it is a serious issue. At the end of the day you ought to take care of your mental and physical health because we live in a selfish world Jha aapki bimari mai apko galat aadat dene wale nhi honge so choose your friends and priorities correctly and be successful and if people want to play with themselves for initial pleasure nobody can stop them because now it is a personal choice.

[@sivanilloyd6025]

A study that showed a drop in Korean divorces during covid was attributed a lot to not having to go to the husband's house for holidays...which has often caused the strife of "the last straw"!

[@m3lodic.33]

Yup! Even in my culture (Bosnian), if there was no cheating or lack of love involved, it’s the in-laws that cause divorce.

[@AstroMartine]

lolololol

[@Bibi-J]

"not having to go to the husband's house"??? I thought you live together in one house when you're married?

[@nanabeauty1785]

@@Bibi-J husband's parents house

[@Bibi-J]

@@nanabeauty1785 Aha, got it. Thank you, for correcting/ explaining it to me. Standards are a little different there..guess took a little longer to sink in... LOL.

[@Raphanne]

My husband is Korean but he is not at all the traditional type, same with his family. I feel so lucky because they accepted me from the get go. I met them 4 months into our relationship and when I asked his mom how I should call her, she said "엄마" right away. They are so nice, warm, attentive, considerate, open and welcoming. My husband has 2 sisters, so it's a family with 3 kids, and the older sister is married to a fantastic guy whose family is unfortunately very traditional. They make the older sister's life miserable. When my mother in law saw how they treated her daughter, it broke her heart, and she promised my husband that the day he would meet the woman of his life, she would be nothing but loving to her. She really kept that promise. She's just a ray of sunshine and has a heart of gold. My father in law is very supportive as well. I have a good job and do better financially than my husband, so I was worried that he might feel negatively about that. I was pleasantly surprised to see that he is happy about it. He genuinely wants me to succeed. The younger sister goes to Yonsei and they push her to succeed as well. I'm happy that they treat their children the way they do. They want the best for them regardless of gender. I feel so happy to have, not only met my fantastic husband, but that his family is great too. I did read some horror story about Korean in-laws before and I was really scared before meeting them. I come from a sexist family in my own country. When my brother was born, he received 20 000 francs and a golden chain from my grand parents. When I was born, I received 10 000 francs because I'm just a girl who will not continue the family name (as if I had a choice in that?). That money was later taken and all I was left was the knowledge that I was worth less than half of my brother. I always thought that Korea would be more traditional than my country, France, but I guess not? :D

[@otohime8516]

Oppa is so akward

[@btskingsmamamooqueens3454]

Holy lord this preference exists in France too??

[@Raphanne]

@@btskingsmamamooqueens3454 in really traditional families like mine, yes. I´ve never met anyone else who had this happen in their families in France though. We´re quite speshiul like that. ^^

[@btskingsmamamooqueens3454]

@@Raphanne oh lord. So "traditionally" there is son preference everywhere. Even in America 💔 (where most Asians look up to for having a better life.) I guess sexism and Misogyny is a painful reality.

[@Raphanne]

@@btskingsmamamooqueens3454 traditionally yes, I don´t know a country where a daughter was prefered. But it's quite funny that I experience less sexism in my daily life in Korea than with my family in France. ^^ I guess now things have changed though. My family is an exception, I think.

[@CelineTaylerVEVO]

I was born and raised in Brazil, 1998. My grandmother always told me how disappointed my father (who abandoned me, by the way) was when he found out I was a girl and not a boy. It’s not a Korean thing, it’s a sexism thing.

[@krnl1304]

I hope you are strong. Make yourself proud man!

[@5-starmichelin760]

Almost exactly the same happened to me. I still lowkey hold grudges after my aunt said this to me. Thankfully, my dad is as nice as possible.

[@Julia-nl3gq]

No, it is a Korean thing. And it is also, apparently, a Brazilian thing, based on what you're saying. And it's also true in many countires. But not all. Not here in Canada. No Canadian cares about that. The only people who think in that stupid way here in Canada are immigrants from other countries, who have brought their sexist views with them....or their kids, because sometimes they pass on those sexist views. A few years ago, a couple from Bangladesh lived across the hall from me and my roomate. He literally would not allow his wife to leave the apartment without him. She was a prisoner. He would not allow her to learn English. He would not allow her to answer the phone. The reason I found all that out was that he knocked on my door once, asking if his very pregnant wife could knock on our door if she went into labour while he was at work.... ....and, naturally, I couldn't figure out why she wouldn't just go to the hospital, and that's when he announced she was not allowed to phone anyone, answer the phone, or leave the apartment without him, and she certainly wasn't allowed to go to the hospital without him WHEN SHE WAS IN LABOUR. His 'genious' plan honestly was to have us like babysit her until he got home from work, WHILE SHE WAS IN LABOUR. He liked this idea because we were both women ourselves - God forbid she sees another man! - and because we could 'go over' to their apartment, because, of course, she can't leave their apartment without him. For her sake, I said yes, but I wanted to punch him in the face. He must have been home when this poor prisoner went into labour, cause one day they have yet another screaming baby, with no knocking on my door. A few weeks after the new baby, he tried to rape me. In the laundry room. Luckily, I am the type of person to fight back. He shoved me into a cement wall. I was trapped between him and the wall, and he was so strong. He had my arms pinned. I yelled and screamed and yelled 'NO' and he paid no attention, and he was trying to keep me pinned while trying to unzip his pants, so I kicked him in the nuts with my knee, and, I tell you, did he look SHOCKED when I started yelling and screaming....obviously, he'd never encountered a woman who could stand up for herself. So I ran out of the landry room, up the stairs, and outside of the buiding...and he FOLLOWED ME. It was summer, still light out, and I ran and ran but he kept following me. Then I saw a man walking down the street, so I ran over to him, and said 'I need help, this man tried to rape me, please help me!'. So, then the Bangladeshi Rapist was like all 'Oh, no this girl is lying, what a lair'. Well, the nice man I found on the street said, 'Look, whatever the situation here is, the girl is asking you to leave her alone, and you're not, so f off', and then helped me get to the police station. You can bet I filed that report. A week after that, I opened my door to take out the garbage, and the Bangladeshi Rapist was also happening to be coming out his door, so we were face-to-face. I stood up straighter, stared him down, and just stood there glaring at him. I knew that if I showed any fear or weakness, he'd try again. So I stood and glared and gave him my dirtiest look... ...and at first he tried to like take a step towards me, so I stomped my foot at him, glared even fiercer, and stood my ground. He went back inside. He never bothered me again. I won.

[@zenya9620]

@@Julia-nl3gq wow gosh I'm so sorry u had to go through that!! Did he ever get deported or caught?

[@Erdf3542]

there is patriarchy everywhere but in some cultures it's more obvious than in others

[@mysticalhuman]

Mostly south east asian and asian cultures

[@Erdf3542]

@@mysticalhuman I‘m from Switzerland and there are strong patriarchal roots here. Little fun fact women were only allowed to vote in 1971 but one very stubborn state only allowed it from 1990 onward (they were forced by the government). It‘s very traditional and conservative.

[@Sonnenanbeterin1991]

@@Erdf3542 exactly gay marriage in Germany also got legalized only 4 years ago. ..

[@raypatson8775]

It’s not always a bad thing. Where there is healthy Patriarchy men provide and protect their mother, sister, wife, daughter. Collapse of healthy Patriarchy can give rise to destructive Patriarchy. Unfortunately Feminism is attacking and destroying men and young boys which will actually cause more horrible problems when you demonise whole gender as toxic and evil. In the west, the constant demonisation of masculinity is not going to end well.

[@udd4547]

@@Erdf3542 i wouldn't have thought that Switzerland was that way cause I'm from germany and in comparison to other Bundesländer who are more conservative or catholic or so i honestly have never experienced any sexist behaviour from anyone. Have had little boy's tell me that girl can't play football but that's just blabla. Of course some other countries are more open e.g. when I went to Denmark or so but then again I don't know gay people or women or men who got that shit said to them. Where I live there a some annoying evangelical people with their child choir or so but it's not extreme or so, I'm just not part of the church or so.

[@Zwoelfeline]

When I (53yo) was young in Germany we had exact the same pressure on girls, like you in korea. I couldn't handle this, because I didn't want to. Now I have 4 daughters myself. I raised them to do what THEY want. I see 4 very independent and self caring young woman who do what they want and not to please grandparents or inlaws. If they want to do make up, they do it because they want to, not a boss or someone else.

[@sophiemary9117]

Stimmt! Meine Mama sagt das auch immer!

[@udd4547]

meine Mutter hatte ein interessanteres Leben als ich gerade hab🤭aber ich glaube, dass das Umfeld definitiv was aus macht also wenn man Freunde hat die einen verurteilen weil ich hatte solche auf dem Gymi😂

[@tingle2323]

Well i hope u didn't make them like everyone is only against them and managing whole being.. I hope u would have told them difference between being bossy on others and being caring towards someone. Because many youth just see others as hinderance like all people are against them for what they do

[@basugunja]

SURE, BUT YOUR DAUGHTERS SHOULD ALSO HAVE BASIC FEMININITY, FEMININE GRACES, CHARMS AND GRACIOUSNESS AS WELL AS BASIC HYGIENE, MANNERISMS AND ALL. I AM AN INDIAN WOMAN IN MY EARLY 30'S THOUGH.

[@basugunja]

@@tingle2323 Exactly. Very well said.

[@savanah5892]

I just love when women talk about their sexuality like a normal thing, BECAUSE IT IS NORMAL AND SOCIETY REALLY NEEDS TO ACCEPT IT ALREADY

[@nailanoorein2086]

You have a beautiful name

[@SS-yj2le]

Not only that, but I think it also confuses guys as they end up not knowing what it si the women want. So am y of them probably have the best intentions, but mess up.

[@RR-et6zp]

reality is sexist, we're hardwired differently. Men dont have all the born with value benefits that you do. Blank slate equalism and social constructionism do not exist. Hardwired neurological biological differences between the genders exist. The man builds up his value, there's a reason why 1 in every 17 women passed on his gene. He also has to 'slave away ' since he provides resources, is taller, stronger, higher socioeconomically etc. Attraction is not symmetric

[@KristenKras]

Sexism also exists elsewhere, in Australia too. I have heard the doctors I worked with saying that the company was hiring "old" women and they were not young and cute, etc. It really made me sick. Men have a lot to answer for and still don't get it!

[@RR-et6zp]

reality is sexist, we're hardwired differently. Men dont have all the born with value benefits that you do. Blank slate equalism and social constructionism do not exist. Hardwired neurological biological differences between the genders exist. The man builds up his value, there's a reason why 1 in every 17 women passed on his gene. He also has to 'slave away ' since he provides resources, is taller, stronger, higher socioeconomically etc. Attraction is not symmetric

[@clararocha1338]

I actually have a story about the sunbae culture (and some misogyny). I am Brazilian and I was studing and working at Australia at the time. I had a lot of Korean girl friends as I study Korea’s culture in my university and one time they introduced me to a Korean guy (the sunbae) who was also studying at our school. My friends seemed really uncomfortable around him but I tried to be respectful and greeted him. He asked me if I wanted to join him and some friends in a round of drinks at his house, he said he wanted to meet the new international students (all girls btw) but I already knew something was off and refused. I even said that my friends couldn’t go (I made some excuses that were clearly bs but I also didn’t make any efforts to hide that I didn’t like his attitude). At that point I already knew what he really wanted, and as a Brazilian girl who has to deal with a lot of harassment bc of the image people has of Brazilians girls I knew that I couldn’t make him think that it would be easy to fool me. My friends were trying to be polite and respectful but I was defensive and didn’t want them near him, so while I was refusing (over and over again) his offer I was getting tougher. He got offended and said that my friends told him that I like Korean culture, so he didn’t expect me to disrespect a sunbae. He was really mad and told me that no hoobae has refused to go out with him before, and he also thought that I would say yes right away cause I’m Brazilian (I think everyone knows that Brazilian woman are extremely sexualised in any country). So I just said that this idea that we all have to agree to whatever someone says just because they’re a sunbae is fucked up and I had no plans to put up a smile and go on with his shit all night long just because I “can’t say no” to a sunbae. I also told him that we were in Australia and I was not Korean so he could throw his sunbae attitude at the trash before stepping outside. I never saw him after that but I had a whole 2 hours conversation with my friends at my house a couple weeks later and they were all criticising this sunbae culture and going on about how this was a toxic part of Korean culture that the younger generations are trying to change. And just to clarify: he was one of dozens of Koreans that I met in Australia and turned out that my korean guy friends were the most respectful and protective friends I had back then. Not all Korean man are like that (and from my experience, most of them are not).

[@lauragoreni3020]

Sorry you had to go through that! But you did great in standing your ground!

[@ludmiladourado4542]

Arrasou mana, gostei de ver! ❤

[@marianacarina2580]

O cara quer pagar de sunbae no país dos outros, se fosse aqui no Brasil eu ia falar tanta coisa pra ele. Sério, eu ia fazer um escândalo e mandar ele voltar pro país dele que ele claramente não tá no lugar certo. É foda, imagina só o que as mulheres passam por lá.

[@fruityn8887]

você tomou uma atitude ótima em frente a isso! é realmente uma lástima termos que passar por isso.

[@julesverneinoz]

The sunbae culture (and other similar cultures in other countries, like the senpai in Japan and the 'uncle' culture in Chinese had a good intention at the start when viewed with a Confucian lens, it's about fostering the younger generation and helping them because as the older generation you have 'more' that you can pass on to those who have 'less'. As people don't live in 'hard times' anymore and not all 'sunbae' experience struggling from low status to higher status but were born to their status, they don't have this mindset to 'pay it forward' and instead use their 'authority' as an asset to pay respect to, even when their contribution to the society is unclear.

[@bae4844]

I‘m glad to live in a country where women don‘t have to wear make-up. I also wear glasses all the time. I only apply concealer and mascara. The only „rude“ comment I ever got was that I would be prettier without glasses. I guess in Europe it‘s more the natural style. The main beauty Standard is to be on the skinny side. We say: there‘s a lid for every pot.

[@Viki-me8mc]

Absolutely! People in Europe are like “You will be so beautiful without glasses”. But if you put on weight… run, because people tell you that in your face and make you feel bad for these 2-3kg that you gained

[@kimleemoon]

Ditto! I rarely wear makeup, usually only for special occasions. If I had to wear it every day, I would be miserable. In 🇺🇸people/employers don’t care if you wear makeup or not.

[@giftylovely2004]

I don't wear makeup, but I tried once for lectures, a guy approached me and asked me why I'm wearing makeup, that I look good without and asked me never to wear makeup again and I should stop imitating my course mates, I just laughed and told him I hear him. In my country no one cares whether u wear makeup or not and majority don't wear makeup, it's like a trend

[@Viki-me8mc]

@@giftylovely2004 So cool. In my country people will ask you why you have makeup on too. It’s like “Who you want to impress? You’re more beautiful without this eyeliner and lipstick!” In fact girls with makeup are like… how I can say that… like bad girls that want attention from boys.

[@nivuuxx]

You don't realize that *women wear makeup on their own wish* I don't know what you mean. Do you mean women are forced by ghosts to put up makeup?

[@user-zb9lb3lw8r]

Being a Korean I agree with them completely I wanna leave outta here and live like you guys freely without anyone judging me nd letting me do whatever I want without any restriction's. I hope one day I'll achieve everything, I'm manifesting~

[@nana-ct4jv]

I feel the same about my country😩

[@marianmeciar3385]

You will one day. Don't worry

[@tajrubaaahmed]

That means nobody is happy in their own country😑😑 I also don't like my country 😑😑

[@balekleklek788]

hugs to you!! i wish you all the best girl. you got this!

[@Bellas_Universe]

I love my country .. So glad we have so much freedom .I hope you guys will be happy wherever you go ❤️

[@shysmile534]

yep, I have to agreee with the marriage thing. It´s not only in Korea, but mostly in all Asian countries. I am from Vietnam, but I am also very westernised, as I am living my whole life in the Czech Republic. And to see both cultures at the same time, I have to say, I prefer the western culture and way of thinking. Because let´s be honest here, Asian culture is very toxic - for both men and women, but for women I think there is more presure, as they HAVE to literally take care of the family - not only their own family, but the family of the husbands and to show them how womanly they are with cooking, cleaning, taking care of the child and then also have a job etc. - the husband on the other hand, is in charge of making more money for the family, but does not need to take care of the household. Not only that, but as you said in the video, the whole society is expecting that all girls - must be virgin, will be quite (they can not say their own minds - because that would be rude) - everyone around them will ALWAYS be right, THEY NEED to be slim (more rounder girls are not attractive), so there is a lot of bodyshaming, expect to give a birth to a boy (like it´s the womans fault for giving birth to a girl). But it´s never the fault of the man (he can drink, go outside late, be fat, does not need to do much etc.) And when the marriage does not work, it´s always the fault of the woman. :-D So yeah, I have to say women are more abused in the asian society than men.

[@ClaireEmilia]

Hi neighbour! I live in Germany

[@incognitoparty]

Keeping weight is the easiest thing to do. Men can't change their height or dick size. Women bodyshame men too, but double standards much?

[@shysmile534]

@@incognitoparty Keeping weight is easy? It´s definitely not. Everyone is build completely different. And in my previous post, I was listing so many problems and you picked 1, which is related to bodyshaming. Well the thing is, men can´t change their height or dick size, True. But women also can´t change their height nore their vagina, so don´t really see the point of you mentioning this as a double standard. Yes Women bodyshame men to, but that´s because men not only bodyshame bud slutshame, shaming the inteligent of a women etc. In my previous post, I did not attack men, I was presenting the problem of the whole society and the pressure, which they put on the younger generation.

[@incognitoparty]

@@shysmile534 keeping weight isn't easy for everyone, but it's definitely attainable if you go to gym. Asking society to change their standards on weight is like telling women to stop judging people based on height or wallet size. It's like a person who don't want to work, but want to drag a rich person down. Men don't judge women based on height. Penis size or wallet size definitely are. I see women slutshaming each other more, so i don't know why feminists keep blame men. For men, they have to work hard to get into girl's pants and only some % can do it. But for women, they don't have to do any work because they have the power to give consent to open their legs.

[@han-zj9yp]

@@incognitoparty um? Not every woman judge men by their dic* and wallet, wtf. I've once heard my male friends rate the girls body and voice, even sexualise them. And u said that men don't judge woman by their height? Are you sure? aren't most men would pick a cute short girl as their girlfriend? My friend once got bodyshaming by his ex saying she's too skinny and called her by a harsh word for skinny people in my language. But I'm 100percent sure not all men act shit like them. I get it you're trying to prove some points there but no need to be sexist in your statement

[@ChisomUtazi]

Korean culture and Nigerian culture really have a lot of similarities. A lot of Nigerians expect their daughter in law to do all the work when they visit but the men treated like kings when they visit the woman's family.

[@LogarAcc]

It's global, trust me. Misogyny is everywhere, and it's time for things to change..

[@ohhmycherriescakes2108]

So true Chisom. I am Ibo too.

[@everlastingideas8625]

It s just misogynistic cultures. It s like that in North African countries too. Gets on my nerves.

[@ChisomUtazi]

@@ohhmycherriescakes2108 girl, it's horrible

[@audio4642]

Same happens in india

[@Achanceywill]

Korean marriage culture sounding like Nigerian marriage culture. Over here marriage is almost always about the family than the two people involved

[@negho929]

I thought the same thing 🤣

[@priyankakotian5956]

I think it's the same in almost all Asian countries...People do a thorough background check of the family before marriage 😂😂

[@aishwaryaahirrao]

@@priyankakotian5956 yup..cuz it's same in India as well.. it's in all Asian cultures

[@priyankakotian5956]

@@aishwaryaahirrao yeah I know I m from India only😂

[@aishwaryaahirrao]

@@priyankakotian5956 i got that from your username and now confirmed cuz of "only" 😂 🤜🏻🤛🏻

[@yaldaaa104]

I'm a middle eastern and in my country it's literally the same or even worse. About the sexual desire before marrige: In my country if you are a woman and you are not a virgin before your marrige, your LIFE may be in danger. Cause if the MEN in your family find out about it, they might kill you in the most terrible way and law doesn't stop them.

[@Queen7127]

The Korean marriage roles sound very similar to the south of Italy. Men being the providers and women raising the children and doing all the housework. Also it’s the same for Italians that the marriage isn’t just between the couple but the whole family 😂 I think a lot of traditional catholic families can relate

[@lauragoreni3020]

Thank god I'm born and raised in Northern Italy and here things aren't that backwards, here is just like living in Germany of France. The South is a beautiful place of beautiful people, but it needs to get a grip.

[@bakugokatsuki908]

@@lauragoreni3020 shut up

[@ninabambinaaa]

Unfortunate yes…

[@vf5015]

@@bakugokatsuki908 who hurt you lo0ny?

[@danieladifoggia9019]

Da persona del sud questa cosa vale più per famiglie molto cristiane o di paesini piccoli dove questa mentalità può essere ancora prevalente. Di base in una grande città anche nel sud non c'è più tanto questa mentalità.

[@jyannalee]

Can’t wait for part 2 as well! 😉💕

[@hellostranger2012]

Were you in Dkdktv too?

[@kay141]

Need part 3 pls

[@NOTmyProblem...]

Same

[@amazonz8590]

@@hellostranger2012 she was. Her and Bella are friends now

[@leemae3174]

Same

[@TK0Doodet]

The guys in the face rating group chat reminds me of this Korean guy I was dating. I asked if he was serious about me after talking for a year. He told me, “Well, you have make me think you’re attractive.” After a week, I didn’t hear from him. He later texted me, “Two of my guy friends don’t think you’re pretty enough. “ and he ended up blocking me on Kakaotalk.

[@brishlyalcantar4675]

Literal example of men ain't sh** 😐

[@rizza8920]

You dodged a bullet there.

[@kimleemoon]

Dang…

[@dt1wach206]

most of them dudes got no balls

[@upthedown1]

Wow

[@SierraBeleza]

I live in South Carolina, a southern state in The United States. If a man were to say a woman needs to wear makeup or something rude about their appearance at work they would literally get cussed out and/or pulled into HR. Even the female Baby Boomer generation here wouldn't put up with that. The stories you all have are WILD!

[@NucaARMY]

I’m in the south too, and wearing makeup is literally in our employee handbooks.

[@keypratt9595]

True I'm also from South Carolina

[@Julia-nl3gq]

Well my Mum is from North Carolina, and although I was born and raised in Canada, I've been in NC and the south a lot, and, nope....like, sure, some women there would tell the man off, and some wouldn't. Just like here in Canada. You can't generelize like that, and put all women in one category. Plus,you're speaking about a genrelized situation, and wasn't she talking about a work situation? Because dressing up and wearing makeup is the NORM for a ton of jobs, and if people don't want to dress up like that, then they shouldn't do those jobs.

[@krystalyan4719]

This is the way it should be/

[@echo.echo08]

I made friends with a few male Korean exchange students and all of them admitted that they'd want a non-Korean girlfriend but they will only marry a Korean woman because of their parents. It seems a number of their seniors do not like to have non-Korean children-in-laws. They shared that the parents often think that there will be a language barrier and that foreign daughters-in-law will be less submissive and more free-willed that they will not conform to the housemaid-like duties that they claim are important traditions; while foreign sons-in-law will want to live separately, independently, and farther away from them that they will not be able to meddle in their lives more conveniently.

[@user-ly8vw3ej3v]

Не все перечислили. Менталитет иной.

[@Lorena-eh5cl]

Oh man. I’d probably not get along in Korea. I hate wearing makeup and I have a giant tattoo on my back 😂

[@LRonHubster]

You would be fine. Almost no one would interact with you, as they are busy people with their own lives. Based off your description they would try to avoid you.

[@vf5015]

@@LRonHubster what's your problem?

[@LRonHubster]

@@vf5015 my problem is the rate of degradation is growing exponentially with no signs of slowing.

[@tingle2323]

There were tatoos in old times too...

[@annabeinglazy5580]

@@LRonHubster arent you a Ray of sunshine...

[@1Skorpia]

Love the honesty. Growing up mexican catholic in a latino neighborhood i can relate so much . We have to be very feminine,long hair, curves, No tattoos,tampons will take your virginity😆, be passive, marriage and kids are pushed,no divorce even if its an abusive marriage, guys want a virgin, a good cook and housekeeper etc. Mexican americans are changing it but in old mexico some places are still like this. It drives me crazy! 🤬 edit: the boys are allowed to act a fool but the girls cant. Boys are put on a pedestal. They can be masculine and sleep around /drinking but girls must be virgens 🙄 again old mexico mentality.

[@ChisomUtazi]

Basically the same in Nigeria Like exactly the same

[@jenniepennie6052]

Girl don’t get me started on our community! The fact that woman are still being raised as servants for men while the men in our culture get away with everything and anything. The fact that we grew up putting men before the woman… my dad is the reason why I don’t wanna get married Bc Latinos/Hispanic hold such a huge standard for woman catering to men and being a certain and looking a certain way I can’t stand it. GIRLLLLLLL my mom has told me told she doesn’t love my dad but they stay together because of religious purposes like idk why Hispanics parents were raised with such mindset that they had to be together

[@Veegirl514]

I'm mexican American and breaking the mold...I'm not a great cook, not a great housekeeper, lost my virginity early, no longer catholic, cut my hair shorter when it gets annoying, I don't try to be feminine am just me but I'm not a tomboy. I've acted like a fool in the past and at 41 I do what I want. I have two boys and they do what I tell them. Queen of the castle.

[@kimleemoon]

Traditional American culture was the same way. Things started to change after the feminist movement of the 70s. But it’s still like this in more conservative areas & cultures is America

[@1Skorpia]

@@kimleemoon i moved to a smAll town up north in the 90s. I was shocked that they still wanted to get married right out of high school and have kids. Just because they dated in high school/high school sweethearts. Very stupid. Of course theyre divorced now. Its a thing up here tho. Coming from chicago-getting a career and making money was stressed. Then kids/marriage. Not relying on a guy.

[@a-ee7840]

I think tattoo thing is universal among the older generation. Many children getting disowned or denied jobs in parents generation dye to the stigma. But nowadays no one really cares unless the tattoo is OUTRAGEOUS 🤣

[@RR-et6zp]

reality is sexist, we're hardwired differently. Men dont have all the born with value benefits that you do. Blank slate equalism and social constructionism do not exist. Hardwired neurological biological differences between the genders exist. The man builds up his value, there's a reason why 1 in every 17 women passed on his gene. He also has to 'slave away ' since he provides resources, is taller, stronger, higher socioeconomically etc. Attraction is not symmetric

[@noelawor1342]

I feel like there are African cultures that align so much with this.

[@aparnasharma5468]

And when you realize that this is not just in Korea but in whole Asia!!

[@rainachoudhary6861]

Whole world

[@TaiwanLife2024]

wow... a person with Sharma surname has the audacity to complain when they are in minority in their country but occupies every big position in corporate, government, politics, etc. and brainwash their fellow lower caste Indians that they don't have the cognitive ability to go in STEM fields

[@aparnasharma5468]

@@TaiwanLife2024 excuse me... whoever u r... i am not from india.. i'm from pakistan.. and yes... thinking about the official positions... i guess u should check it once that our caste have the least chances of getting selected in upsc coz of caste reservation system... and even after reservation u can't score and can complain me... strange right? I, being a pakistani knows it better than an indian. And also don't fight with me on this caste thing... coz i already hate this caste system, racism and all... for me.. all humans are equal. That's all. Rest u can write whatever u wanna write in reply.

[@aparnasharma5468]

sorry Kelsey from my and his/her side... that thic comment turned in argument.. i didn't mean it.. sorry..

[@aparnasharma5468]

@@rainachoudhary6861 agree bro!!

[@ugh495]

This is so interesting, because in the US I’ve seen guys say girls that smoke (anything) is unattractive but i don’t get because they smoke all day. 😭

[@yannickjohn6930]

Regardless of gender (or if one is genderless), I don't like to hang with people who smoke. To Americans, smoking is unattractive. You see the smoking advertisements? I doubt a woman would love me if I would smoke.

[@askers8695]

@@yannickjohn6930 : Gosh, I live in NJ and from what I’ve seen, most men (at least the ones I’ve been around) love women who smoke. I don’t smoke but I do find women who smoke very unattractive but I also hate seeing men smoke.

[@xanjey17]

@@yannickjohn6930 that’s media but I know some guys who think that girls who smoke and drink are sexy for some reason lol. It just depends on the person.

[@yannickjohn6930]

@@askers8695 I'm a Jersey Boy too but I'm a rare breed. I hate those cancer sticks so much. Like a cat hates water.

[@yannickjohn6930]

@@xanjey17 I don't mind if she drinks, it's the smoking that irks me.

[@justgigi9545]

This video is SO refreshing! I love how you keep it all the way real. Recently another rather larger KZbin influencer made a video, and honey! She really out here trying to convince her viewers that Korea is an equal society where everyone is on equal playing fields... thankfully most of the comments was like "who paying you to say this trash"

[@violet.c]

What is the influencer's name?

[@landport03]

@@violet.c yep i have the same question 🙋🏻‍♀️

[@Mariajbh2]

I noticed many Korean propaganda

[@susansharphaynes555]

When my Korean friend got Pregnant and she found it was a girl her mother in law asked her to abort the baby!! I was so pissed off!! Her gay brother was treated like he didnt exist!!

[@Mariajbh2]

OMG I can't believe it! I will cut all the relationships with my mother in law if she do that, ask me to kill my baby! And maybe split up with my husband if he don't support me

[@alissad.8793]

That last point!!! I was talking about exactly that with one of my Korean guy friends a while ago. What's the difference between having 10 different 1-month relationships within a year, instead of just testing the waters/hooking up with different people for the same amount of time without every time being like "yes, we're a couple"? The establishing part seems so tiring to me, especially when you officially break up after a month or so. It's just unnecessarily time-consuming for no reason😂 Also had several of my Korean girl friends tell me that they keep their relationships hidden from their parents because they shouldn't find out that they've had sex before. Makes me kinda glad that my parents genuinely just don't care✌🏻

[@ThePinkysweet123]

Omg everything you guys said is 100% relatable similar to india too.

[@shreya6806]

Except the makeup thing, we don't even wear makeup everyday

[@7SoulsInSeoul]

Right!

[@7SoulsInSeoul]

@@shreya6806 yupp

[@Lifebubble167]

Unfortunate but true, lol we can't even stand close to guy just becoz xyz will think of us as "that type of girl". 😞

[@merilyroy8603]

Yes in india too marriage means union of two families.. girls grow up with that thought.nd cooking for inlaws is very very common in india...girls here fo it willingly as the groom's parents after marriage r their own parents..this is what the girls r supposed to accept.

[@KoiinuNe]

"all humans have sexual desire" *laughs in ace*

[@giftij]

Crowing with you 😂😂😂

[@me.justme.9381]

The age hierarchy, respect rules that are ingrained into the language, plus the insane beauty standards and sexism (for both men and women) have really turned me off from wanting to personally experience Korean culture. Like, I wouldn't last a day if I were forced to do all those things; I would be absolutely miserable. There are still a lot of things I enjoy about Korea and I want to keep learning more, but the k-pop/k-drama rose-colored glasses came off pretty quickly and I've learned to be more realistic and manage my expectations.

[@Mariajbh2]

Kpop and Kdrama are propaganda, Korea had copied Hollywood even the Korean Governement confessed that they invented Kpop. Kpop/Kdrama are a propaganda arm for the Korean Governement same than Hollywood is to US Governement

[@zahrabjinu]

Drinking alcohol unlimited, getting drunk every time and getting liver cirrhosis is put off even when men do it.The worst thing about kdramas is how frequently they show drunken scenes, drunk good looking people slumping on streets,Forcing people to drink etc that is a put off for me. India is sexist too but women are talked down when she puts makeup whether subtle or Loud. Its like whereever there are women there are different types of sexism / misogyny.

[@user-dj6pk4ts6l]

Lol. Come out of your tarpolin covering and let's talk about misogyny. Stop playing Victim Card atleast on an international scale dude we are already giving such a good Arena back home for this game. End this hipocracy!

[@LRonHubster]

This is the most ignorant statement I have seen.

[@zahrabjinu]

@@user-dj6pk4ts6l This is what I am talking about - Indian men now proclaiming there is no misogyny,no sexism - every women who talks about it is playing a victim card. Since every women in India is playing a victim card - no need to address any real issues ,Right ? Dude ?

[@user-dj6pk4ts6l]

@@zahrabjinu fix yourself first that's the real issue, Then asking us. Where haven't you played your victim card? Every single place its there. Here too. Also not every women, its your kind of people specifically.

[@zahrabjinu]

@@user-dj6pk4ts6l Quit talking as if you know me personally ! What victim card when one is speaking about general things. This video is also about how things are ' generally' in S.K. What part of my comment triggered you so much ,dude ?? This is my last comment to you,not going to engage you further.

[@darrentaylor359]

Kelsey, KZbin recommended your video and I binged your social topics. Your honesty and analysis is spot on. I subscribed. I'm a black American male English tutor and I have had S Korean students--both old and young. I've learned a lot from them. In regards to Korean women and sexism. To Lee's point, even in the US sexual assaults and rape go largely unreported here because people still "blame the victim". It's always, Why did she go walking at night, or get drunk when men are around--no one says to the guy, What's wrong with you? Are you so weak or perverted that you can't control yourself!

[@bmwjourdandunngoddess6024]

Why’d you put “blame the victim” in quotes? A black American man should know that THEY DO blame the victim, and as a Black American Man myself, how did you not learn a lot from Black American Women, since they suffer the worst and most? Misogynoir?

[@darrentaylor359]

@@bmwjourdandunngoddess6024 My quote was not in indication of sarcasm. If you took it that way, that is unfortunate. Why did I put blame the victim in quotes? To emphasize Lee's point about how men and women are treated differently in Korea (at 15:14 in the video) and how that “blame the victim” mentality applies to women that are sexual assault victims in the US. Also, it's a tendency of mine to highlight common American phrases if I am addressing an audience that may be international. Although I think my meaning was clear to the host an others who read it, in the context of the rest of the paragraph, I am addressing this in case there are others who may have misunderstood what I was saying. Could I have chosen another way too highlight that phrase? Sure. Maybe I could have used caps instead. Could I have elaborated more on my use of "blame the victim" in my comment to make it more clear to you and others? Yes. My comment was just a quick response triggered by the fact that I had someone get my life that was sexual assaulted, and I watched her struggle with whether to tell anyone else. While I can't speak to what was in her mind, I'm sure that fear of being judged was part of her reluctance to tell anyone. In the end she did get help I appreciate the initial question about the quotation marks. However, it seems that everything else that you said is based on your belief that I was being sarcastic or negative by putting the phrase blame the victim in quotes. I have no idea how that transitioned into what you think a black American man should know. Or why you would suppose that I don't know that black American women suffer or are not believed. None of that was part of the discussion that I addressed. Yes, black women suffer in many ways in that they may not be taken seriously, not only when it comes to sexual assault but also with something as simple has having medical doctors not believe their level of pain when they describe it. Black women go through it. But it's a much larger issue suffering and voices not being heard that include not only black women but people of color in general. So, yes, as a black man, I am awell aware that we are living a patriarchal, systemically-and sometimes overtly-racist culture in the US.

[@nailanoorein2086]

Where I come from women are blamed for being raped too even if she wasn't flirty or even wore a hijab or dressed modestly full sleeves in loose dresses and I fit is a family member who raped you then forget about speaking up just endure it.a girl who is raped is ostracised from society😢

[@RR-et6zp]

reality is sexist, we're hardwired differently. Men dont have all the born with value benefits that you do. Blank slate equalism and social constructionism do not exist. Hardwired neurological biological differences between the genders exist. The man builds up his value, there's a reason why 1 in every 17 women passed on his gene. He also has to 'slave away ' since he provides resources, is taller, stronger, higher socioeconomically etc. Attraction is not symmetric

[@amara45]

I worked in Korea for three years and maybe it's because I was a foreigner and most of my coworkers were female, but no one ever said anything about me NOT wearing makeup to work. I hate wearing makeup and it makes me break out so I just didn't. I have a close friend however and she did mention it every once in a while. Like, "You should wear make-up" and those kinds of comments.

[@RR-et6zp]

reality is sexist, we're hardwired differently. Men dont have all the born with value benefits that you do. Blank slate equalism and social constructionism do not exist. Hardwired neurological biological differences between the genders exist. The man builds up his value, there's a reason why 1 in every 17 women passed on his gene. He also has to 'slave away ' since he provides resources, is taller, stronger, higher socioeconomically etc. Attraction is not symmetric

[@abhradipchoudhuri352]

So, I'm indian but me and my wife we never had the normal indian/Asian courtship life. We were togather for 14yrs, then branded as gf/bf for 2yrs, engaged for 1yrs now married for 6+ and we were the butt of jokes and we only got support from our parents - society in general were brutal to us I still don't know why. When we decided I'll become an engineer and wife a doctor we were rediculed there as well. We bought a villa we paid half and half and boy the bank people commented guy should buy house! What a weird world we live in.

[@nailanoorein2086]

Wow!im half Indian too😃

[@abhradipchoudhuri352]

@@nailanoorein2086 I sincerely hope - you don't face what we faced. Never wish that even for my enemy! Very best of luck for your life

[@anab6194]

Hey, Kelsey! Have you ever read “Kim Jiyoung, born 1982” by Cho Namjoo? I think it merges so so well with everything discussed in this video!! It’s a great book to swim through sexism and misogyny korean women convive with, sometimes without even realizing… such as going first to the husband’s family on Chuseok instead of their own, just as you mentioned!! anyway, just a recommendation for anyone interested in deepening about this so important matter :)

[@suhokim0522]

Woah it must be good that my sociology professor recommended us to watch the drama version of it when we were learning about sex & gender 😀

[@DearMariska]

Love this comment! When she started to talk about Chuseok I also immediately made the link with the book! Interesting how the three generations depicted in the book are so similar to real life stories. Cho Namjoo did a phenomenal job in merging fiction and reality!

[@PrincessQuince]

I'm reading it just now

[@RR-et6zp]

reality is sexist, we're hardwired differently. Men dont have all the born with value benefits that you do. Blank slate equalism and social constructionism do not exist. Hardwired neurological biological differences between the genders exist. The man builds up his value, there's a reason why 1 in every 17 women passed on his gene. He also has to 'slave away ' since he provides resources, is taller, stronger, higher socioeconomically etc. Attraction is not symmetric

[@mitsuko0xidized]

I'm Thai-American who grew up in the states, and the things that you guys were talking about all sounds super familiar because it was exactly what I grew up hearing in a family of female women who grew up in Thailand (also super traditional and have some rather questionable standards for their women too). It sounds like these crazy expectations are geared towards all Asian women. I felt myself nodding in agreement with nearly everything you said. I'm looking forward to the 2nd part of this!

[@RR-et6zp]

reality is sexist, we're hardwired differently. Men dont have all the born with value benefits that you do. Blank slate equalism and social constructionism do not exist. Hardwired neurological biological differences between the genders exist. The man builds up his value, there's a reason why 1 in every 17 women passed on his gene. He also has to 'slave away ' since he provides resources, is taller, stronger, higher socioeconomically etc. Attraction is not symmetric

[@michellemckinney4678]

I enjoyed this. Liked seeing you both on here. Met so many youtubers through Kelsey! 🙏🏽

[@quatzxice]

"I'm 20, I'm an adult" Nah, you're a baby! -from a 35yo

[@rav7n188]

It’s funny how western people take insulting jokes seriously or not so well but some of them would just laugh at other people if they think those people look weird (they don’t even try to hide it). Making fun or starting to laugh at other people for their appearance is considered to be rude if you ask me.

[@alevtric4449]

i’m from the US and we are very sarcastic. we don’t take insulting jokes seriously because we know it’s sarcasm, especially if it’s with someone close. but strangers even jokingly insult each other in more of a friendly way. i do think though that people i’ve met laugh amongst themselves at things that are considered “embarrassing” that random people do. but i think that everyone does this and it occurs in every country. it’s just a second-hand embarrassment thing. i don’t think many people actually laugh at people in a mean way unless they’re a mean person, which you can be from any place to be. i can’t speak for other western countries though. and this is just from experience.

[@CanopusLux]

I was in the US and I've met the most sensitive people ever that insult anybody but can't take a joke on themselves.

[@xanjey17]

It just depends on the person tbh

[@ahumanbeing2602]

It’s funny how he just generalized western people. It’s also how funny how he just said “western people” just because we’re talking about the eastern part of the world.

[@rav7n188]

​@@ahumanbeing2602 Well, it's a bit uncommon for eastern people to be sensitive against insulting jokes after watching this video so I felt the need to point out about western people since I'm an overseas student in a western country and I did experience this kinda of stuff a lot where people got so sensitive when it comes to insulting jokes. Having said that, it's even worse for some asian kids studying abroad where they aren't even born in a western country but act like insulting jokes are new culture to them and usually don't accept it. Sure if the person went too far, you need to let them know that you don't like this kinda of stuff, but if you just stay quiet and holding grudge or hatred within you then it's not gonna solve any problem. Yes, it depends on each and every person but in general if it's not part of the culture within a particular country, then it's ok to consider such jokes to be weird. For me, personally, as long as it's between close friends and there's nothing to do with family situation, then it should be fine. And of course be mindful about your jokes and not to go too far. We always have one of those friends who never think twice before they speak and that's ok.

[@ronahdaphnepiyo6154]

I totally believe you guys, honestly it really worries me whenever l watch Kdramas and movies, l am huge fanatic of dramas but l really feel at loss about how in their plots Women or Mothers are portrayed as deadbeats. Its either they abandoned their child at birth or left them. Women are not portrayed as good parents characters usually praise and focus on fathers. I ask myself are there no women of character that they can look up to. Mothers are depicted stereotypically as difficult, unreasonable and mostly vilified . I have not seen a strong mother figure character supporting her kids fully without any issues. They gives the idea that Korean women are difficult and unreasonable. It really bugs me

[@markigirl2757]

Yeah I’m America it’s the opposite men are seen as dead beat and out it of the life of their Children. I wonder if it’s c of the feminism movement shaping its way earlier then in American then in korea

[@nailanoorein2086]

Wonderful women I have always admired Korean women especially the way they carry the,selves so strong but feminine at the same time

[@moonchild2548]

Watching this as an Indian Woman is like such a blow. Because i knew that patriarchal structures were strong in S. Korea till date but i didn't think India was that worse than Korea. But we are. Yes things are slowly changing with Gen-Z and late Millennial generations but all the things that these girls described were part of the better deal in India even for my own generation. Like female feticides, rapes, sexual and physical violence against women is visibly way more but also the more "subtle" parts of misogyny are way worse and more deeply ingrained in what our culture has become today. Eye opening towards my own reality.

[@Rudi_Mentary723]

The grass always look greener on the other side.

[@zuhasajid900]

Same in Pakistan

[@thirstwithoutborders995]

I think you underestimate the power of family and tradition in "The West". I am married with a kid and live in a Catholic country in Europe, and until my husband and I consciously decided against letting the pressure get to us, Christmas holidays were the worst. Every family wants to see you on Christmas Eve and gets pissy if they are the ones chosen for Christmas Day. Also all your other relatives want to see you, and if you are the youngest, you are the one who is supposed to drive all over the place to give and collect gifts. Also, who do you think bears all the work of making Christmas nice? Women. Women bake cookies, women think about gifts, women buy gifts, women do crafts with the kids, women often run charity events, plan parties, host parties, women decorate, women tell the husband when to get the tree, women cook for two days ahead. If something goes wrong in terms of family comfort, the older generation will always look at the woman of the house. And I know more than a few women who clash with their in-laws, mostly the mother in law. Especially after you have kids. Also, my grandma's Generation was also scandalised by every tattoo and there are plenty of customer-facing jobs where you would have to cover tatoos.

[@johannaisolde]

the drinking thing is also a thing in germany, it's also undesirable for girls to be drunk, while it's funny for guys. Girls also drink way less than guys in general.

[@stargazer9207]

This depends on how old you are and what type of people you spend your time with because in my experience nobody cares about who drinks how much.

[@johannaisolde]

@@stargazer9207 well, then look at the statistics

[@l.a.7880]

Also live in Germany and nobody cares about how much you drink really...

[@CanopusLux]

No it's not, everyone drinks like sh and no one gives a f

[@lylaeve8855]

In which part of Germany do you live? Cause I’m from the north and here it’s definitely not like that. Would be very interesting if there are differences

[@denzdoneza]

I think we don't have that kind of marriage culture in the Philippines. As long as you love each other, then, that's it. But of course, the guy still needs to ask permission from the girl's parents as a sign of respect. And for dating, we'd really get to know the girl first (like a couple of months) before getting into a relationship. We start as friends, then, level up when we feel and think that we are ready. Thanks for sharing the video. It gives awareness to people who love Korea and wanting to visit Korea someday.

[@denzdoneza]

@You alright boi ? Not entirely. Tradition and Religion has also plays a role in marriage/dating do's and don'ts.

[@nocommonsense8950]

Honestly As I watch these type of videos, it seems like the Philippines is very opening and welcoming, even to other people of color, other genders, etc…. Like, wowww, like people will make comments talking about how different it is. It surprises me

[@swagwanhyung8413]

@@nocommonsense8950 it is welcoming. However, there’s still sexism. Adultery committed by men is so common that it became “normal”. And when the women divorce them, it’s usually the women who suffers… “you weren’t good enough” “why did you let him cheat?” And all of those classic victim shaming😒 Women can’t do a lot of things. They are still expected to do all the house chores while the men just sits around (even if both have jobs!). A lot of my family’s party (where all aunts and uncles and their family gather… which is pretty big) will contain this image: the really small kids playing, the women (and teenagers too) cook all of the food for the big family and prepare the cutleries and games, and the teenage boys lock themselves up in their room or stay in a corner and the men are gathered already drinking or just chatting. It makes me so angry even as a child because why the heck are we doing all this when they are just standing. I actually asked this once and they all said that “they’re too lazy”, “ they don’t know how to cook”, and “they’ll just slow us down”. I swear that weaponize incompetencies are so normal in every country. Not all family are like this but the majority are. I am basing this off of my experience and family but when I visit my friends when they invite me to a party, I see the same thing. Also, you could see most Filipinos are welcoming and tries their best to accommodate foreigners who visit the country but amongst Filipinos, there’s this toxic colorism. When I say Filipinos, I mean everyone who is born there or married one. Race doesn’t matter to them. If you are born there, you are a Filipino. Looking at the surface, it is great! But then, it means even if you’re a different race, you are still subjected to the same toxic filipino standards. It is unfair to compare Filipinos to other filipinos who are of different ethnicity or half-filipinos. Most are only nice to foreigners, not Filipinos.Growing up, there’s this whitening soap or product being advertised every five minutes, and it’s always targeted to women! Advertisers are women too. Men also gets teased if they’re “dark” in the country’s standard too. My classmate all teased this guy for it (who is Indian), but even amongst girls, there are these lowkey colorism in each conversation. It is only lowkey bc it os so normalized to say that the other should be “whiter”. Even the celebrities are all fair skinned. Although the Philippines have this concept of brown beauty and black beauty (these are loosely translated), you could rarely see them in tv. If the character is darker (for example they’re playing the Aetas which is indigenous people whose skin is darker and hair is curlier), instead of casting an Aeta or at least a darker skinned actor, they would paint their skin. The funny thing that I noticed in my school is that the “rebels” or kids who didn’t study well are boys. They would have their own group and skip the school and do all that stuff. Some groups are really nice but just don’t want to study while some are literal bullies and mean. But the girls who are considered “rebels” are all decent. They just simply didn’t have high grades. They are all mature and nice. Of course there are some exceptions but I am only referencing my previous school. Even in other grades, the women are always more mature and well behaved but the boys… the teachers are being more lenient to them. Seeing that as a kid and growing up seeing that, I started to have that mindset too. “They are just boys… let them be.” Gosh… AM I SO GLAD I DIDN’T CONTINUE TO HAVE THESE MINDSET!! I stopped doing those in Grade 6 after having my first ever iPad and internet freedom. I watched all these dramas that told me those are bad. Ironically enough, Those are Korean dramas 😂 I now live in Canada and Canada still have its own sexism/colorism but I would say it’s more toned down compared to what I saw in my home country. I might be not seeing it though because I moved to a really small town where everyone is nice. I am now in college in a city and I see more sexism going around that it’s quite funny 😆 I am having a blast when someone or I correct them. Like how are you still sexist, colorist, racist etc. in freaking 2022??!

[@rexgeorgerodriguez7620]

The great amount of living together because of teenage pregnancy is quite disturbing here in the Philippines. It's like a normal thing to have many children despite being poor because some parents believe that their children will save and take care of them when they get old which is not entirely true because life doesn't work that way. I mean in compare to South Korea, sexism against women is not very prevalent in a obvious manner but yeah we still stuck to the time where women here are expected to be pure and innocent.

[@RR-et6zp]

reality is sexist, we're hardwired differently. Men dont have all the born with value benefits that you do. Blank slate equalism and social constructionism do not exist. Hardwired neurological biological differences between the genders exist. The man builds up his value, there's a reason why 1 in every 17 women passed on his gene. He also has to 'slave away ' since he provides resources, is taller, stronger, higher socioeconomically etc. Attraction is not symmetric

[@cristinecunanan8611]

I appreciate your videos about being able to shed a light on real experiences especially relevant issues going on in Korea. I myself am a foreigner living in Korea. I just wish everyone can accept the realities and not being butt hurt on every freaking issue that is being brought up. Looking forward to more vids from you. Love xx

[@gemmarooney3148]

I do love the fact that you don't filtered what need to be said . I love that I will keep watching your channel as much as I can .

[@sanjanadey9940]

Kelsey.... your eye make-up is looking awsome...❤️❤️❤️❤️🔥😎🔥 Marriage thing is so similar in india tooo.... because for elderly people especially, it's not just the two people who are getting married...the family is getting together and all or something...and the in laws have to gift thing too each other and all..😁 it's a headache basically...😂😂

[@KelseytheKorean]

Thanks for the compliment😻 yeah when i watch indian movies the marriage culture seems similar 😢

[@sanjanadey9940]

@@KelseytheKorean yeahhhh🥲🥲😅😅😂

[@sgdsingh9123]

India takes it to a whole other level though!🤣

[@Joey-ss3so]

And even that one old generation prefers boys over girls ..

[@sruthisamhitha8385]

You know it's funny that most of the things that you have told about your sexism, women face in the Indian Sub-continent as well. Like the older generation preferring boys, comments about makeup, son-in-law as the king, etc. Another layer of complexity that gets added in the sexism here is that women expected to be natural without makeup "caked" and all but most men cannot accept women if she is honestly natural with body hair, messy hair, acne and porous skin, etc. When faced with such a natural woman, they apparently "advice" her to groom herself. Its like they question every choice of her's. If she wishes to wear makeup for herself, she gets comments like "Men like women who don't wear makeup". And in the case where she chooses to not wear makeup or groom herself as expected, she has to face criticism like, "She is so unkempt. No man will like her." It's a constant rejection that women have to face. Actually, this video and few other ones that I saw earlier gave me the necessary perspective to acknowledge that every woman in the world is fighting similar battles with different degrees of privilege, freedom and confidence.

[@nivuuxx]

Now, why are you crying about issues that don't even exist? You are literally Telling non-existent reasons for things that don't even happen

[@itsz3969]

@@nivuuxx youre living a good life if you never heard those statements and issues

[@sai-lm8vh]

I don't know which part of India you are from I'm from Telangana and normally most of people here don't wear makeup everyday and they do have body hair like visible on hands and no one cares nor forces them to wear makeup or to shave And no one forces them to look in certain way But now a days it's the girls looking that unnatural beauty standard and trying to match with it Edit : BTY I'm not defending India there are many points which are similar as mentioned in video even in India but just that appearance thing I didn't see it that common over here

[@sruthisamhitha8385]

@@nivuuxx I just stated my opinion. I am not crying. If stating an opinion appears to be crying for you, then it is you who is crying over my comment. So, don't cry please. My comment is not too emotional or sentimental for you to cry over it. And, if you really feel the things I stated in my comment as non-existent, it means you are either privileged to not face those or ignorant and indecisive to comprehend the reality or you are a male. I am happy that you are in a position to find them non-existent. I hope you have such a blissful life forever.

[@sruthisamhitha8385]

@@sai-lm8vh Thank you for the clarification. I think this is something I needed to know. Its nice to know that you have the nonchalant attitude towards a woman's appearance, be it her makeup, body etc. But I don't think it is right to say "no one" in this scenario. I don't know your gender, but I am a female. Whatever I commented was what I derived, experienced in my life. It is not something that was imagined or wrote for the sake of commenting. Re-reading my comment, I realized that, I generalized my direction to all men or as I wrote "most men". I am sorry for that. It should have been "some men". Please pardon my mistake.

[@majita9385]

Sexism is really everywhere :( In Croatia, where I'm from when a boy is born everyone is saying: Yes I got the son! And when the girl is born it is said: Yes I've gotten a child (not daughter). Also not an uncommon thing is that your grandparents call you "sine" which means son - even if you are a girl. Everything in the family is first given to a male child and also as a girl you need to cook, clean and do everything in the house, while the guys can just relax after work and do nothing.

[@nailanoorein2086]

Where I come from no one want daughter either they will abort their female foetuses many times even when the mother wants to keep her female foetus she is pressurised by her husband and family to abort and many men don't want daughters they even blame their wives for not giving birth to sons.but after some time theyll want women to fulfill their carnal desires a beautiful wife , Btw Croatian women are drop dead gorgeous you are really beautiful 😃💞

[@RR-et6zp]

reality is sexist, we're hardwired differently. Men dont have all the born with value benefits that you do. Blank slate equalism and social constructionism do not exist. Hardwired neurological biological differences between the genders exist. The man builds up his value, there's a reason why 1 in every 17 women passed on his gene. He also has to 'slave away ' since he provides resources, is taller, stronger, higher socioeconomically etc. Attraction is not symmetric

[@RR-et6zp]

@@nailanoorein2086 reality is sexist, we're hardwired differently. Men dont have all the born with value benefits that you do. Blank slate equalism and social constructionism do not exist. Hardwired neurological biological differences between the genders exist. The man builds up his value, there's a reason why 1 in every 17 women passed on his gene. He also has to 'slave away ' since he provides resources, is taller, stronger, higher socioeconomically etc. Attraction is not symmetric

[@itsjustanita2555]

Kelsey, you're beautiful when you laugh! And love watching and learning from these types of videos. 감사합니다

[@liaran7867]

I love you Kelsey , you always tell it like it is. Thanks for not sugar coating things and speaking truth. I’m learning a lot girl.

[@DarkKnight-zp3um]

I don't know why some people get mad in the race of beauty. Our body, face, structure, height, color, and other body stuff are decided and made by genetics when we are in our mother's womb. Our genes decide that how we look. And due to genetic variation, no one has a similar facial structure, everyone face structure is unique in their own place. We have to accept that, face structure no one can change it. Yes to improve skin quality you use different beauty standards but are not able to change them. In the end try to improve your skill, brain efficiency, mental health, etc rather than looks.

[@nailanoorein2086]

Wow you write it down so clearly😃👍You are absolutely right

[@brittanylay2410]

I plan on going to Korea and potentially live there so I really appreciate your honesty you are legit the realist when it comes to talking about life there. I along with many people appreciate you being so real that way people know what to expect and it not be a surprise because I’m sure you have helped guide many people with what to expect because you keep it very real.

[@hanam.7447]

I don't usually watch vlogs like this, but you guys are so cool. The way you think, the honesty, the charisma.. and the same mindset as mine. Glad to have found this channel!

[@sgdsingh9123]

I seriously feel so old watching this-arranged marriage and both of our only relationship!🤣😂💞💗

[@DaDa-ze5je]

So relatable as Korean even you and I are like years apart. It's so sad that even your generations have to go through such things.

[@RR-et6zp]

reality is sexist, we're hardwired differently. Men dont have all the born with value benefits that you do. Blank slate equalism and social constructionism do not exist. Hardwired neurological biological differences between the genders exist. The man builds up his value, there's a reason why 1 in every 17 women passed on his gene. He also has to 'slave away ' since he provides resources, is taller, stronger, higher socioeconomically etc. Attraction is not symmetric

[@mohonapaul8682]

This discussion was so realistic and so much needed..you both are amazing ❤️🌈

[@Yeodoongiiie]

Sounds like Korean men don’t want to go through the whole big shabang of a Korean wedding, and they think if they are in a relationship it Will have to lead to that maybe? And so eventually it became. More and more extreme to the other side. And people now just date so casually that no one feel like they matter to the other person and no one dares to show or say they care and want more. And the same with women. Because if you are to stay you care, that would maybe lead to marriage- and like you two said - marriages in Korea sounds like very hard work for the woman and an unfair treatment. I completely understand how culture has shifted to be so hook up related. Feels very lonely either way. I live in Scandinavia and the culture here very different. So I can’t relate. If there is the slightest form of misogyny happening in my life, I get so angry and rebel. I love my freedom as a woman. I can’t even imagine having to live under such se*ism in Korean culture. And I am such a romantic at heart. I would believe every guy has good intentions and just be broken a lot haha. In Scandinavia the woman have become so much the boss of herself that guys don’t even really approach you anymore. There are no Alfa guys at all. Women ar suppose to do the courting. Women are expected to do it all. It’s another type of pressure. I guess it’s tough to find true love as a man or woman in every country. And I guess there is misogyny in every country as well. Sorry for my long reply. This topic got under my skin. Naturally :)

[@paulabestie4486]

It's so interesting to see how marriage works there. In my country, (which is in Central Africa) it is also a thing for the family to be involved in the marriage. The man's family usually has to pay money and bring gifts to the women's one. It's so mind blowing to me that it still works like that. Made me question myself a lot of times whether I would like to get marry there😂

[@paulabestie4486]

@nick I never said that my country was Central Africa. I said that my country is in Central Africa. A lot of countries such as Cameroon, Gabon, and more are situated in this region in Africa.

[@Goldun-nah]

This why my Omma married a foreigner (my dad) and left Korea at 19. Shes 64 now. She can’t stand the sexist culture. But she still raised us with gender customs. Like my sister is the oldest but my older brother who is younger than my sister is treated like a damn king lol.

[@YumFit1]

That is your solution - everyone marry foreigners? It's not like foreign men are some saints either

[@Goldun-nah]

@@YumFit1 Did I say there was a solution or imply that this was a solution??? No, I didn’t. I gave a testament as to why my mom married a foreigner. Where you decided to project your assumptions on what my intentions were behind my comment is beyond me and I hope you realize how irrational and weird you are for doing so…. What an awkward and unnecessary response. Gross.

[@YumFit1]

@@Goldun-nah Yeah I find it hard to believe that literally all Korean men, millions of them, were problematic that your mother had to marry a foreigner. If that's the reason your mom told you, But anyway that is none of my business. This asian culture is patriarchic bullshit is just another means to promote western imperialism. ALL CULTURES ARE PATRIACHICAL, THEY JUST MANIFEST DIFFERENTLY. Let me remind you that most of the sexual tourism that occurs in Thailand and Phillipines are due to western men, but you choose to conveniently ignore that. Maybe it worked out for your mom, but chances are if a guy marries a woman from such countries, that's not going to be a healthy relationship - SO YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS GROSS. You would want vulnerable women from SEA countries to get married to some foreigner just to be treated like a s*x doll. Your views are heavily outdated, My generation likes to see people as actual individuals, for instance, if you had a bad experience with a guy, that's because he was a bad guy, it has nothing do with his nationality or whatever - it's insane to generalize his bad behavior to millions of people.

[@tigerlillymoon9310]

@@YumFit1 Your thoughts are just as presumptive and stereotypical..I mean , just because its mostly western men that are behind the increase in sexual tourism in Asian countries does not mean that all marriages between western/Asian come from a "dark" place or are the result of fetishism or are going to end badly..Call people out all you want here, but you have some of the same hang ups just worded differently.

[@Goldun-nah]

@@YumFit1 I’m speaking only towards my mom’s experience. Whatever issue you have is a projecting one. I didn’t say “all Korean men are the reason why she married a foreigner.” It’s what my mom experienced that led her to marry foreigner. What you choose to believe is your prerogative… but don’t come here lecturing on what ever it is you are presuming. Like I said, it’s odd to engage that way.

[@Yuzu11me]

Thank you for this video. I was really curious about this. It’s really interesting to learn how drastic the differences are from the west.

[@PatBTheOwlcaptain]

Loved hearing your perspective and educating those of not in Korea. Also love the Snorlax and Lapras in the background.

[@user-ph1lo2nl1i]

What you said in the beginning (about the rude guy telling u to put on makeup )is still so shocking to me which is a Korean living in Korea as well. I think he was just an immature judging rude guy... it is true that there are still some guys that say rude things especially to girls and judge and label by their appearance, BUT it's not a normal thing people say here... OR you may see old ppl saying that, but it's seen so uneducated for our age group.

[@Nyanya07]

Hopefully this generation is better

[@rjlee-cc4xy]

same i hope her experience wasn’t too bad in korea throughout the entirety of her stay there i live in korea and i’ve never heard anyone be THAT outright before (and of course this isn’t to invalidate her experiences in any way, i was probably just fortunate enough to not come across anyone like that) it’s just vv surprising to me honestly

[@krnl1304]

Probably the modern generation ( our generation) in all Asian countries realise this and the sexism has been reducing a lot less. In case of India, you should observe how a woman was treated in the 1960s (my grandma) vs the 1980s (my mom) and then the 1990s (my cousin) vs now (myself). The whole whitewashing facade has reduced and both guys and girls go to work. In India, in middle class families - surprisingly, a girl who is under educated and isn't working, isn't getting married nowadays cause all the boys want a strong and independent woman who can go to work just like them to equalise the burden of providing for the family . The men have slowly grown to adjust their work life balance as well (this is kinda good, considering how Asia was years ago). The situations have improved a lot. And it will still continue to improve. I am Indian but I live in an Arab country and have Muslim friends and the situation is still crap here, I am sorry.

[@RR-et6zp]

reality is sexist, we're hardwired differently. Men dont have all the born with value benefits that you do. Blank slate equalism and social constructionism do not exist. Hardwired neurological biological differences between the genders exist. The man builds up his value, there's a reason why 1 in every 17 women passed on his gene. He also has to 'slave away ' since he provides resources, is taller, stronger, higher socioeconomically etc. Attraction is not symmetric

[@ankitkalluraya486]

Hi, I am an Indian in Australia. I have a Korean partner who told me the same things about Korea. And surprisingly it's the same in my country too..ㅜㅜ ㅜㅜ ㅜㅜ

[@pham182]

Lol, all about truisms in Korea, I was planning to study for Master programme in Korea but thinking about doing makeup every time going out or go to class, I changed my mind. You guys are giving me the new changing image of the new Korean generation, I can't wait for your next video :))))

[@sana-kb1lh]

i just started watching your videos today but WOW! i loved everything you talked about and how educational this was. this was such a deep but great conversation and i would say analysis and it really opened up my mind to see the different cultural and societal standards of Korea. love how authentic you are! your videos are great!! keep up the awesome work 👏🏾💗

[@adihaddad]

Super interesting Kelsey and Anna! Love to learn about the different aspects of Korean society as it is super different from where I'm from.

[@aanuu277]

Now I am addicted to this channel. I have been binge watching your videos and everything ❤. You are brutally honest and genuine and Ofcourse You are beautiful Kelsey❤.

[@curtisdrago]

I LOVED how real and open this conversation was.

[@juliaaraujopoume5106]

Great videos! Love ur honesty! I'm going to Seoul in a couple months, I'm from Argentina !

[@pooja350]

Those locker room group chats are the reason why I'm super cautious in getting uni friends

[@Purpleorchid94]

You know what!! When I was a rookie in watching Korean content on KZbin especially variety shows, I saw husband and wife doing morning chores and house work irrespective of the gender..I felt very happy and one more thing I observed is women can wear short dresses and jeans. Being an Indian, after watching those videos i felt very happy..but now i understand that India and Korea have similar culture things and I totally relate

[@Sthefaniegoma]

Loved this video! It's so interesting to know different cultures

[@cjwsk12]

I love the honesty so much

[@Healthycapricorn]

Opened minded as always thank you a lot

[@rhuchasharma1010]

Love the way you shared the details They way of talking is really good Loved the detailing Your beautiful 😍

[@shubhajitlaskar1267]

This video was really very informative and I got to know a lot of things about the Korean society which usually people do not often talk about! Considering that I'm not a Korean, so all of this information will help me to keep my eyes and ears open to things happening in the country and how you should be behaving with people and try to respect each other! Pretty interesting content and I wish you luck for future endeavors too! Lots of warm wishes from Vancouver 🇨🇦🍁

[@dr_sweetydubey1201]

I think it's same for the majority of asian countries in context of dating and having sex before marriage for a women.Even in India though now things are changing fast with the new generation marriage is still not between only two people but about union of two families also which i think is ridiculous😑but i think korean beauty standards are a bit toxic like the incident that happened to you with your senior it would be considered rude in India people will get offended.i am glad that you are talking about this stuff because it should be normalised for a women to be vocal and to be able to decide about her dating or sex life.I love your content and you are a gorgeous women💓lots of love to you💓💓

[@asmrwitha4052]

i realized that korean culture is similar to balkan culture too! so interesting

[@mariakiwi1428]

Absolutely not, only if u are referring to rural communities this is true. Probably one of the only good things to come out of communism was that women entered the workforce very early and a lot of women became the neck of the family. Not necessarily the head, but you do see that women usually ruled the family social dynamic. Also, especially among the 90’s to modern generations, none of the things mentioned in the video apply to the majority of Balkan countries’ social rules but it exists in isolated cases and rural communities as I have mentioned before. It’s not an equal society but it’s as bad as in some bigger Asian nations.

[@m3lodic.33]

I’m Bosnian, so European. Yet I feel like my culture is exactly like Korean and all these Asian cultures. In-laws often lead to divorce and gosh, misogyny is rampant in our culture like if you think differently, they call you a “feminist destroying the world” 🙄

[@1332knitweardesignhouse]

American mixed blood here. Family on both sides are like this. One Gram's fam is from Poland, the other is from who knows where. Women have to have a man, babies, and be subservient to be successful. Breaking generational curses is a ton of work. Love that quote, would look good on a shirt--"Feminist AF; Destroying the world, one country at a time"

[@m3lodic.33]

@@1332knitweardesignhouse Yup! Just sad. Men can do whatever and even continue having hobbies going out with friends while women have to stay at home with kids. I’m glad my dad was active as a father when he wasn’t working 12 hours. Gave me baths, cut my nails. Played with me. Was a real father unlike many. However, many men are not like my dad, sadly. And yeah, right? Maybe I should create a shirt like that and sell them. 😂

[@1332knitweardesignhouse]

​@@m3lodic.33 Exactly. Mine is an old school hippie. He had generational trauma of his own to work through. He worked double shifts while my mom was away with the US Army. He would still find time to just be my dad. He used to rough house with me and my older brother when we were little. We grew up tough. Two things he taught me made me the ballsy feminist I am today. He tells my daughter this too. 1. 'Do unto others.' 2. 'Don't dish it out if you can't take it.' He tells me, to this day, "There will be a day when girls rule the world and the world will be a damned sight better for it." As for the shirt....Sign me up. I'll take a dozen.

[@m3lodic.33]

@@1332knitweardesignhouse Wow, you got an interesting family background story! My parents were refugees in an bloody civil war (filled with ethnic genocide), where my mom lost her brother. My dad served in the army before this and fought a bit before his cousin here in Canada sponsored him to flee. He meets mom by chance in their home country (Bosnia) and it was like fate. They married 10 days later and mom came here. And here is me and my brothers. My mom was always a tough lady, hard to crack. Sensitive, but tolerant and strong against life’s obstacles. I started out as a tomboy before swinging back and forth between girly and masculine. Now, I’m an independent woman who refuses to let men order her around and treat her like she’s subservient. It’s different wanting to be cared for and protected versus being ordered around and treated like a slave! I love being cared for. I just refuse to be treated in the way a lot of men try to treat other women. I’m glad your father also tried his best despite the work schedule. It can be done, as we can see with our families. Work is never an excuse to be emotionally distant and not involved with children, going for both genders at this point. Sadly, women also internalize negative ideals and put down other women and men use this as a crutch to insult us more or acting like it’s justified because “other women put down other women” like what? Lol. As for the shirts, I’m so down to make them. As long as I got customers and people willing to buy them! I’m actually pretty creative and have many ideas, just wasn’t sure if there was demand. I’ve always wanted to draw my own design and create shirts to sell. Or mugs. Or keychains. I want to be an inspirational leader one day that changes people’s negativity and promotes love and compassion.

[@1332knitweardesignhouse]

​@@m3lodic.33 Now that's cool. Always believed in Fate. Same, but different. I am the result of my parents first date. Dad took Mom out dancing and never took her home--according to him. They started dating in November and were married in February. Growing up, I had self-esteem and self-worth issues from my mom. Ma was never around until after my sister was born. After that, she made it clear that I was the mistake. Growing up, she expected me to be a frilly girl, which I am not; lead to a lot of fights. I am too rough and tumble for her liking; far too independent. Dad was always kind of put off by my creativity and ability to read people. But at the same time he was amazed by the inherent wildness and my stubborn streak. Again, the same, I vacillate somewhere between feminine and masculine. Friends say I am "Feminine in gender, Masculine in energy." Always been seen as odd and different for that alone. Took me a long, long time to embrace it. Now, I won't give up my hard won worth and esteem for anyone. You are entirely right that it is completely different. I may love my guy, but I don't like feeling incapable. I am big on getting back what you put in, and if he's wanting me to do all the work with no reward, I am walking. Absolutely! From what I was taught, Love and Compassion are what this whole thing is about. That's cool. I knit, but always from a place of love. There is more demand than I could say. In fact, I am raising a future feminist. Tiny yet terrifying. Go for it! The world needs more healers. Especially now, with the world in the state it is in. We can always use more lovers, healers, and dreamers.

[@LorienzoDeGarcia]

TRUTH TRUTH TRUTH. ALL TRUTH BOMBS!! You all expressed yourself so perfectly!! I understood it all!!

[@suedagocer]

This is video is so important like I feel like I have been living in korea for my entire life

[@areli3062]

can i just say i love that you discuss these topics on your channel, there are very few youtubers who take this approach and you do it so well thank you sm 🤧

[@talisuatupua130]

Thank you for the heads up, it brings alot of facts to light. In the Polynesian culture we aren't focused to get married, we are taught to be independent & to respect our elders. It hurts to hear how korean cultures are very forceful, I think everyone should be able to make there own decisions as long as you think it's the right decision & better benefitting from it in the long run. Everyone's decisions should be supported by family & friends equally. I'm a big fans of asian dramas, anime & kpop, but hearing this is very shocking. I pray all gets better!!!

[@itsnlee]

I appreciate you both for sharing your experiences.

[@saptaparnimandal430]

I am from India and some of them are relatable on so many levels :O

[@Sandra-um5sj]

Thanks for all the information, this was a very interesting video🧐🤔😇❤️

[@mochi701]

Well spoken, both of you gorgeous ladies! 😍

[@za9469]

As a Japanese growing up in a western community and now back in Japan, similar things happen in Tokyo too and it was really shocking to be given “notes” on my looks and styles from a not-so-good looking dude that cleary doesn’t care about HIS looks but somehow has a “great advice” on how women should look 😂 Love the video and the british accent❤