How to Approach & Talk to Anyone

[@DanVanTill]

“Treating people like an old friend.” This is how I learned to get over my fear of public speaking. Stop judging your audience. Just treat them like they are already your friends.

[@Papadoc1000]

I'm not sure where I picked it up but somewhere in early HS, I decided to approach girls the same way while watching my buddies go into idiot mode as soon as they opened their mouths. It carried into sales and I'm blown away thinking back that a kid in his early 20s never thought twice about talking to buyers with billion-dollar purchasing power. Everyone is human and most of them have far more problems and insecurity than anyone can imagine.

[@selenarodriguez6476]

Ya know…this is the first time I felt like a genuine human being was giving solid advice without trying to change me or trying to sell me something.

[@zenamatthews9380]

I was a really shy person who grew up extremely sheltered, like never walked by myself outside the house until I was 16.5. When I to college, I said to myself, this is not who I want to be so from now on if you make eye contact with someone, you approach them, shake hands, and introduce yourself. It was obligatory, I did it every time knowing it was uncomfortable and feeling the discomfort. Now, people laugh at me when I say I'm introverted and shy cuz that's not at all what they see. I've gotten so much more comfortable socially that it's rarely uncomfortable.

[@xavmanisdabestest]

Well done dude a decade in I'm still trying to figure it out

[@madmax1717]

Shy too.

[@elwenfirns3263]

I love this attitude! I've been doing this more in the last 3 years. I will do it with more intention now, thanks to your comment. I love being inclusive of people, and the places where I socialise people sometimes need the invitation to participate.

[@zenamatthews9380]

@@elwenfirns3263 That's exactly what ends up happening, I end up talking to people who are shy and they feel included. And sometimes I fail and be shy and other people bring me out of my shyness. But I'm very open now. I'm happy you're also taking conscious steps.

[@mertbasky]

@@zenamatthews9380 How do you do that actually? I mean, in which venues are you talking about? Do you have any tips?

[@greendevilgamer12345]

It explains things most guys don’t think about. I also learned a lot from reading a book called Manipulex Protocol by Vexoner. The book helped me understand how dark psychology actually works. Combining tips from videos like this and the book really made a difference for me.

[@BerndSeichter]

1. Don´t presume you bothering them! 2.People reflect what you bring to them! 3.Treat them like an old friend! 4.Be more open with people 5.Emphasize and develop your outgoing side 6.Get close 7.wear something wild 8.don´t give up too easily 9.don´t take negativity personally! 10.be a word detective 11.distribute eye contact 12.how to make it a habit speak to the inner child

[@mekhronarakhimova871]

Angel 👼

[@yesitschelle]

Thanks for the list!

[@Kilo-Clutch]

If they have BOTH headphones in or they are on a call... you are probably bothering them. Other than those situations, I totally agree!

[@lovelovelylovinglove]

Even with headphones in. I saw one woman at a coffee shop who looked cute, seemingly studying at her laptop, and I felt compelled to compliment her outfit. Took a deep breath and approached - it was only then I saw her earbuds. But it was too late, I had already shown up confidently with a smile, and before I could rethink everything she saw me, took out both ear buds, shut her laptop, smiled back and looked up at me as in: “well, you have the floor!”

[@Annayasha]

@@lovelovelylovinglove Not related but I love your username

[@miggy2002]

How did it go?

[@ashzab1]

Honestly even with the headphones in, I don't mind being interrupted. I'll pause whatever I'm listening to.

[@namesurname7332]

​@@ashzab1nice to know, thank you

[@Heather.C.ButterflySage]

"Treat people like an old friend." Beautiful.

[@joyofmomentsr144]

100% agree. I learned to treat people like old friends whenever I worked in fast food I was like “Hey! how’s it going?” like I already knew them in a past life or something. lol Just act like they’re already a nice person then they will more likely treat you nicely as well. Plus you’re enjoying yourself. 😂

[@complexobjects]

Ah ha! I'm glad you've confirmed it.

[@Papadoc1000]

YES! If you treat people nicely, most want to live up to that expectation. I did this to prove a point to my son, where I told him to watch as I walked down the block and engaged strangers wearing a T-shirt with something on it, complimenting them on it and offering a fist bump. 90% did, even if it made them feel weird. I even had several nice conversations with them en route.

[@trevorfranks69]

It's about intentions. Be clear with your intentions from the heart.

[@WinteryMix84]

I lived in DC for 10 years. I made a point to speak to all of my neighbors, people on Metro, in the street. It was partly my Midwestern sensibilities, part defense strategy. If you connect with people they are more likely to help you if you get into some kind of jam.

[@tlucero6994]

I totally agree with the jam comment. Small talk and chit-chat grease the wheels of society. If you no-one on the street speaks to one-another, it makes it much more difficult to ask for help if something important pops up.

[@ClementMgbadaJr]

Your content lives up to its title. You don't rehash clichés and actually know what you're saying. And you explain with so much empathy, like you get it. You're amazing in a rare way ❤️

[@BristleHiffyn]

2 Samuel 24 New International Version David Enrolls the Fighting Men 24 Again the anger of the Lord burned against Israel, and he incited David against them, saying, “Go and take a census of Israel and Judah.” 2 S

[@piersonmcwayne1136]

@@BristleHiffynbooooooo you stink!

[@complexobjects]

That warms my heart! I honestly would never know unless you told me, so thanks a million! I take a lot time writing and practicing to get the ideas clear before I shoot. Making these videos helps me a ton by reinforcing the concepts in my mind. I also learn a lot from people's feedback.

[@roryking1]

im 38 now and i have become completely antisocial over the years, i think cannabis has a lot to do with it, plus i worked in a very busy shop for many years and i had lots of social interactions everyday, by the time i finished work i just wanted to be alone. now i spend every day alone and rarely speak to anybody, i quit my last job ro get away from bad influences (i managed to quit weed, gambling and tobacco and started exercising a lot, but ive became lonely). great video, i will try to speak to a random person.

[@GUITARTIME2024]

Very cool that you kicked bad habits.

[@Persewna4]

Since you mentioned exercising, something you could do is look into taking a class, if your gym offers them or maybe a walking/jogging/hiking group in your area. That could be a way to start getting some social interaction just by being around others. Because you're exercising you have a good reason not to talk much if you're not ready, but being physically active with others could help even if you're not conversing. I joined a gym that does classes and that really helped me get out of my comfort zone. This year I even got invited to a holiday party by one of the other gym members, for the first time in ages. In terms of socializing it's pretty low commitment and it incorporates something you're already interested in so it may be easier than trying something outside of your comfort zone.

[@aaront1209]

Makes sense that you could have social interactions all day but it doesn’t feel rewarding. I think I need to take the advice of taking down those walls that keep the charismatic personas locked up. But definitely still not easy.

[@hdshjs]

Good luck, mate🤞 Let us know how it went. I'v been working remotely for years and living alone. I know your pain. I do talk to strangers sometimes. 'Modern' coffee shops are good for that. Safe, everyone is sober, many people working or learning on their own. You can ask about their order or what they advice to order. Or just smile. Most of people who came on their own appreciate that.

[@derek2593]

I ran into DeAngelo Hall (former football player) at work. I went over to say hi to him, not cuz I like football, but because we went to college together. He immediately assumed I wanted to talk about his career, but I had to admit to him that I don't follow football. Sure, I saw him play in college, but I just wanted to know how he's been. He came into the restaurant a couple more times before he moved out of town. Introduced me to his wife. I sincerely think of him as a friend/acquaintance rather than a celebrity I once met. I don't even feel comfortable treating celebrities as such, because they are people more than they are celebrities.

[@81684hnxv]

Bro that's so awesome that you know that guy who played football one time źzzzzzzzz

[@derek2593]

@@albundy3929 , And if someone says, "I have a personal relationship with Jesus", do you call it name dropping? Do you ALWAYS miss the point?

[@raraavis7782]

​@@albundy3929 It's not 'name dropping', if mentioning the story actually makes sense in the context, though. I mean, he isn't just completely randomly mentioning it. And also: did you ever consider, that by assuming the worst about other people, you're also making yourself miserable? I mean, think about it. How did writing this comment make *you* feel? Happy? Elated? I think not. Being nice to others ultimately also profits oneself. Try writing something nice and you'll probably get a nice answer back. Boom, everyone is a little bit happier.

[@youtubescholar]

If you need practice talking to people the elderly are on average super eager for conversation.

[@eRVeLife]

I appreciated your sharing this wisdom! Thank you for sharing! 🙏 Ps. People are nicer in person🎉(as opposed to internet strangers that attack people for sharing a personal example😅) ! 😌🙌 God bless!

[@Legendary_Honey]

Incredible advice. I'm not sure why so many of us naturally feel like we're a nuisance. Some days, I unconsciously do this, and I absolutely hate it. I have always made the greatest connections when I assume that my presence is welcome. And if it turns out that it isn't, that doesn't bother me in the slightest. I can move on and find somewhere where I am welcome.

[@theshadylady1982]

Because many people treat everyone as if they ARE a nuisance. It may not bother us in the moment... but subconsciously we remember those interactions & over time they can cause us to pause/ question ourselves... when it typically has nothing to do w us.

[@stessosangue]

hey my old friend, I just wanted to point out how clear your prononciation / enonciation is. I don't know if it's something you trained for, or if it's natural, but as a non-native english speaker I can't help but notice how pleasant it is to listen you speak. For some reason your intonation is somewhat very convenient to parse. Please keep up the good work !

[@complexobjects]

Wow thanks so much, no one’s ever said that!! I’ve been working on it but didn’t know I was doing that well!

[@ElSalchichónDorado]

Yeah bro, in fact, I watch your videos to improve my listening in english besides I learn something new, your way of speaking makes my job easier. Don't stop making videos.

[@felipeparra6115]

truee

[@livaja27]

I second this

[@socialmediaaccount4206]

@@complexobjectsthe way you come off is just ‘healthy’ which is contagious. We know you’re speaking the truth and listen because you’re not hiding behind a facade built up as a wall by many emotionally neglected bricks- that each of us adults tend to have. Seeing you is inspiring, anyway. Edit: oh you KNEW you cooked when you asked for feedback and said ‘I really want to hear yalls feedback.’ You’ve mastered this archetype.

[@Chrisratata]

People need to understand that no one can ever like you if you never show anybody who you are.

[@TheGreenKnight500]

This is very helpful. Most of my life, I've struggled with talking to new people and always worried I'd be bothering them.

[@complexobjects]

Same here!! I feel something about the way western society is set up is partially responsible for making us feel this way. But we can unlearn it.

[@tangrui1992]

15:30 "See every single person you come across in your life as someone (an opportunity) you could potentially take to and practice that (social) skill." Somehow this sentence hit my spot

[@complexobjects]

Yeah! I think about this all the time. I used to try to go out and socialize in big bursts, but I've found it's much more conducive for habit forming to treat every person as an opportunity. My rule is, if I happen to be physically near someone, I make myself talk to them 😅

[@samazwe]

This is the most authentic someone has talked about this, I don't really struggle with talking to strangers but I used to be terrified of doing so. Everything that you mentioned I sort of figured them out on my own but it took a lot of practice. I had to be intentional with it, made it a point to challenge myself everytime I went out until it became a habit. Once it became a habit, it became who I was and still am. I get excited whenever I go out publicly because I just enjoy interacting with people. I've found that people are eager to tell someone something about themselves if you show genuine interest and inclination to listen to them (actively listening)

[@Persewna4]

That first point made me realize something. I work in retail, so I often hear "Can I ask you something?" or similar iterations. As questions go it's fine, but I do notice that it makes me feel mildly annoyed, like the sarcastic reply I bite back is how they'd be in real trouble if the answer was no since they've already asked me something! Obviously I don't say that, but it does put me in the position of having te reassure them that of course they can ask me a question. So basically by saying that, they're putting it out there that they might be bothering me, even though helping customers is literally my job. Of course, I can't expect that they won't ask me that but at least I have more understanding on why it makes me feel like I am being bothered and cam counter the feeling for myself.

[@RichardHorvatich963]

I used to go up to people and had this extreme high hope of them liking me. And when they would respond positively I was, I would get too excitable. I've lately been just going up to people, relaxing, and seeing where the conversation goes. Instead of being so eager, I'm just present. I think this is helping me.

[@daemon_here]

I am completely antisocial for last 15 years. It happened after parents died when I was 12. Now I am trying to make change KZbin is really helping me out.

[@melanieosborn9613]

Self improvement is hard. I just wanted to say good job and I hope you find yourself more comfortable in social settings. I’m sure the world is going to love you once you let it see you! I’m rooting for you!

[@sudhirsingh9149]

Best of luck

[@JJWo]

Its about being open hearted- and for me that can change - depending on many factors- but these days i work on staying open which is more vulnerable- its an irony the more vulnerable you are- the more likely you are to connect. Good chat bruv

[@juleshappy741]

I’ve watched A LOT of KZbin videos in my time and this is one be of the most helpful ones I’ve seen. So much valuable content. Your cadence is well-paced ~ I could really take in your points and I love the examples. I’m going to put these points into action!

[@complexobjects]

Wow thanks, so glad it helped!! I think a lot about the pacing. How much pause to give to each idea. Coming up with examples is tough, but I'm planning to focus on this aspect even more in later vids.

[@bcj842]

The “old friend” bit is always my go-to. I don’t even think about it beforehand, but yes. The person next to me at the soda fountain, for example, is here, in the same place at the same time. We know what this is and we’ve been through this before. Just make whatever thought that was in my head at that moment into a passing comment. Sow the seed of familiarity. That’s it. Keep moving.

[@macprincess2]

What exactly do you mean by making whatever thought a passing comment and sewing the seed?

[@ziggytonumaa]

Very solid advice for those with approach anxiety. Treating them like an old friend always works 👌

[@nooneasknotell]

treat them like an old friend is the best advice

[@fordwayne3833]

What you say is true sometimes and depends on each person and how resonsive others are to their first impressions. I find what works best for me is not to act like I'm trying to make friends; to just talk to people because I have a need to talk to them for a momentary reason. So I make small talk because I enjoy the interaction not because I'm expecting anything in return. When I show absolutely no expectations from others to like me, that's when you spot who really likes you. The common myth is that you have to actively make friends, the truth is new friends come to you, BUT you have to be ready with good social skills to welcome them. I discovered that people I already knew who don't respond well to me turned out to be not worth knowing or being around once I spent more time with them.

[@MelissaR784]

Have a lot of acquaintance but not close friends. The older I get, the more small talk annoys me. Not sure if that's normal.

[@forevermenot777]

YES - so much yes. I used to have these skills developed...before I got out of practice and got back to overthinking. I feel inspired to be confident and vulnerable again. Thank you!

[@pofficial-qi6es]

I'm just starting with my personality improvement journey and I've got to say Micheal your channel deserves a lot more reach for the quality information you're sharing which is enhanced even more by your unique take on it and how to elucidate it in a better way.

[@thech8zen1]

One tip I know helped me to build quick momentum is to just hear the sound of my own voice in the car on the way to something. Kinda reassures me that my voice still works. I also try to reprogram my brain to just always be ready for conversation so that people don't catch me "off guard" and now I have to activate my social side while in the interaction.

[@Scootercorn]

Cool tip. Thanks 🙏

[@i.ehrenfest349]

I pretty much say anything that comes to my mind to complete strangers. I’m not doing it to be liked, I just do it to divert myself. So I don’t feel bad on the few occasions when people don’t like it.

[@meowinde]

My little brother has trouble making friends and he's 22. When i was 22 i wasnt very shy and being a girl, most people approached me. So it makes me sad to see such a handsome kid without friends! Your 20s is where you meet your long life buddies even if its just 1 or 2. Im going to show him this, it seems very genuine and realistic.

[@piersonmcwayne1136]

This is the best advice I’ve heard so far, I have watched probably 30 videos in the past week about improving social skills.

[@helenr3242]

It took me decades to learn to talk to people, and everything you’re saying is so true! Really good advice. Too bad I didn’t have this video 30 years ago, but I eventually got there, and I can use the encouraging reinforcement. Good stuff

[@brigantine88]

I'm only on the fourth minute, but can't agree more. It works even in the animal world 🙂 I have a puppy-girl with an amazing level of joy for life and excitement for other dogs. Most of the times she is greeted with the same kind of enthusiasm, but a few times we ran into some aggressive, too shy or too old dogs that weren't up to playing around. But, if given a chance, my little girl persistently approaches those dogs, escaping the angry snaps, wagging with her full body, until they give up their pre-set reaction and either get curious or even playful.

[@namesurname7332]

that's sweet 😂

[@jessicalale]

This is so, so solid. “How you say it is more important than what you say”. I also like how you say to treat everyone like an old friend.

[@ultimobile]

I liked something I saw the other day - change your perspective - instead of worrying whether you're good enough for the other person, you can consider 'Are they good enough for me ?' Then you can ask questions like a boss - 'Hey, what's up ?' and evaluate their answers as to whether you want to keep talking to them !

[@Dan-cw8rq]

It’s called no hello. You should do it with chat too. Don’t sit there and say awkwardly hello, just get right into it. Everyone will be better for it and you don’t annoy the person on the other end either way.

[@stephenalevesque2361]

Excellent suggestions thank you. My problems is that the desire to connect with others is far less at 66 yrs old. If the desire was genuinely there for me, then the risk and effort of approaching strangers would be worth it. Even a pleasant exchange with anyone drains my social battery

[@philippe2210]

Loved this, you know I always keep adding and addding videos to my watch later but today I finally watched one! I’m trying to get out of my comfort zone and talking to strangers is my next step! Thanks for this, truly! Even just the thumbnail had already changed my perspective on it completely

[@soccerslider102]

As a young kid. I just never saw these boundaries. Always spoke my mind. I did not realize that this was ever a problem for humanity. As I grow older I can see more of others intentions and reactions. The unbearable urge to conform and worry about what I say…

[@selenaherself]

To be honest, I don't have that much of a problem approaching people when I know exactly what I want from them and have a certain idea of how the interaction is going to go. What I do have a problem with, is maintaining a connection, however brief, when I don't know what's going to happen next. When people start to act in a way I'm not familiar with I start to fumble my words and put up walls. I haven't had any friends since I was twelve, and the friends that I did have ended up choosing other, more interesting people to hang out with over me (I mean, good for them, but that kind of thing stings). What I mean is, I have no idea how to maintain a connection that somehow has grown beyond the point of simple politeness between acquaintances, and I know this is going to make it impossible for me to make friends or finding work opportunities through contacts, and it drives me up the wall when I start thinking about it. I don't want people to think I'm weird or sick, so I'm trying to be as friendly as possible in real life, but I never text the people I meet, because I literally have no idea what should I say, or what amount of texting is appropriate. I really don't think there are other mentally healthy adults who struggle with things like that because most people learn how to manage human connection in high school (at least that's the impression I get), and after you turn 18 everyone kind of expects you to have this figured out. I have no reason to consider that I have any mental abnormalities, so I probably just failed as a human being.

[@demarquetry]

I can relate. One thing that helped me was the acronym “FORD” to remind me of topics I might bring up: family, occupation, recreation, dreams/plans. Just an idea

[@AnovaLisaDragonfly]

Same. I find it fairly easy to approach and talk with people, but maintaining connections is a challenge for me too. What’s the next step? Do we exchange numbers? Do I call them so we can chat on the phone? Do we plan to go have lunch or check out some local event? I want to know how to cultivate friendship, which seems hard at 50+ when people seem to be already ‘friended-up’, like their circle is all set.

[@81684hnxv]

You're not alone in this. I'm pretty much in the same boat. In fact there are probably millions and millions of people with the same exact scenario. Life isn't fair and we all get different upbringings and I've settled on the fact that if I'm doing the best that I know I can do everyday, whatever happens is what happens. This life is very short, so just be thankful for the blessings in your life and like I said, just do the best that you can do.

[@complexobjects]

No you haven't failed as a human being. I've been thinking about what you said here. One way to learn is by trial and error. If you never text them at all, it's hard to have any feedback on how much you should be texting them. People give all sorts of signals in the frequency and amount of time it takes them to respond, for e.g. How about you text them what's on your mind, while trying to match the frequency of messaging that they are giving to you? Your writing is quite clear. I'm sure people would like to hear from you.

[@VixSy333]

Think of it this way. Your mission is to gift them with a bit of attention, maybe create a smile. Is there a way you can show an interest that is not ‘getting’ something? Try offering your greeting and a show of good will and acknowledgement that you “see” them. So many people feel invisible, and it is a kindness to give attention, however brief, with good will. You may just make someone’s day. 😊

[@JayCee-hw4zc]

Good advice. Here's a thought from some one who tends to wear lady gaga-like outfits as part of my normal wardrobe - I don't need to worry about starting conversations. People start them with me lol. So try that. (And matey, the "out there" shirt you held up - it's not our there enough. 😊). Love your stuff!

[@complexobjects]

Omg I know you're right. It was comical in my head that the shirt wasn't actually that crazy 😂 But it had a strong effect because it wasn't what I'd normally wear.

[@ClaytonNg]

Sound effects are the cherry on top 🤩

[@yourdespair5886]

I watched a video of yours some weeks earlier and was blown away by your authenticity, I'm at a point where I don't need to watch videos like these but your content just feels so genuine and you look like you're having so much fun saying and recording, I can't help but smile

[@tpriestess]

I love your talk!!!!!! I am such a social being and since COVID I have experienced such isolation… and it feels like it takes so much courage to go out socially!! I appreciate your talk!!!

[@laurabarber6697]

I'm an introvert and a Barber 💈!😵‍💫 Yet I love it when I can create a great conversation in a few minutes! It just takes practice and being genuinely interested in other people!🥳

[@meharmon]

I love this video so much. About wearing something loud, there's a woman who dresses like a woman from the 50s and when people ask her why, she says it's a way to make connections. She did a TEDx talk about it. I think in canada. If you search those tidbits, you'll probably find it.

[@victoryamartin9773]

I've always felt comfortable meeting someone who treated me like an old friend, and I have tried to emulate that trait because it works for me. My tendency is to approach people fearfully and cautiously because I assume they won't be open for a conversation, and I get what I express. Caution, reserve, and unfulfilling. I am learning by trying new approaches that it is not I who is irreparably not liked, it is the approach, which is something I can do something about.

[@complexobjects]

That’s so true!

[@DavidAndersonKirk]

By keeping in touch with a woman I met briefly at a cocktail party, about two years and two moves later- we went on a date. Allllllnost proposed to her but no relationship survives law school. But it was a really beautiful relationship. Just by asking questions over a pot luck table. You never know who will weave back into your life

[@Rapha-q9h]

Go propose!

[@fordwayne3833]

I would also add, when talking to strangers or anyone for that matter, keep in mind that person has a whole life history, they are not just a person or an employee, or some careerperson, or whatever label you put on them. They have a deep rich past. Treat them that way and notice how differently they respond back.

[@VixSy333]

Lovely! I’m learning to approach and connect late in life, but the benefits of giving your attention to another person, it’s a gift, and it’s magic!

[@pastrie42]

tip 3 is HUGE. I’m an extrovert so I do a lot of these things without realizing it and i had never cognated that i do that one with almost everyone. i don’t know where it comes from tbh. great video.

[@calebsmith8989]

bro i love your vids so much plz dont stop making them

[@hideosuzuki3609]

Good tips. Love the one about how you just chat with someone like you know them

[@malcolmwilliams3427]

Very helpful advice. Clearly, many people struggle with this but I haven't heard such a clear and relatable description of it like this.

[@dangangalaxy9759]

Phenomenal video. I’ve been watching a lot of videos on how to put myself out there and talk to people better, and there has been a lot of overlap between those videos, but none of them have even once mentioned most of the tips you gave here. I especially liked your tips on not acting like you’re bothering them, treating them like an old friend, being persistent to find that inner child, and _especially_ especially the one about dressing loudly. That sounds like so much fun, I’m definitely going to try it out next time I go out with friends. This is a video I’m gonna be revisiting a lot. Incredible job, keep up the good work.

[@complexobjects]

Thank you so much!! I'm glad to hear there were so many new ideas in this video. I try to draw from tips I've heard/read, but only those that have helped me in real life.

[@scottallen2190]

Halloween! I have had some of my most transformative experiences when I had an awesome Halloween costume on and there was no where to hide.

[@Anabchronicles]

6:18 when you said get close I moved 6 feet back haha but seriously this is very helpful video as a socially anxious person 😅

[@chriskennedy2524]

Yes!! Read that book! Use her techniques and it will work. I've read it 3 times and follow the methods all the time

[@mrsmerriér]

Value added to me, my friend. Thank you ❤. I also assumed like a previous comment that you had billions of subscribers.

[@ventureJeffrey]

Good job putting yourself out there (on KZbin)!

[@rosag444]

I have been praying about this specific thing!! Very neat topic. Very helpful 🔥☦️🤩🎄

[@evelynmom2902]

I found this video very encouraging and helpful, thank you. As an introvert, it’s definitely hard to have “small talk” or randomly speak to a stranger but I do think that in our current society, people need and are craving more connection with others. ❤

[@SanDzFit]

I’m an OTR truck driver. You wouldn’t believe the level of disrespect and contempt we encounter daily simply for…existing, apparently. It’s difficult not to feel like I’m bothering someone when they’re already being contentious prior to my mouth opening.

[@johnsonjohnson4725]

Fantastic. Whether in an activity that ministers to people or trying to interest people in your business or just enlarging your circle of friends, these are excellent tips that work.

[@reeahn]

THIS IS VERY HELPFUL. it's not something that those typical "how to talk to ppl" videos say. thanks for sharing new insights and practical tips! ❤

[@jodimcclellan1127]

Wonderful advice, tips for practical application & great screen presence, well done! 😊

[@donaldzuramp4404]

Thank you. My biggest mistake is interrupting someone while still talking because i am trying not to forget what to response, which i try to avoid another mistake by just responding, that’s cool, or oh nice. Which i hate because I just don’t know what to reponse which leads to conversation dying down

[@MetalGearsOfThought]

ADD?

[@deadislander]

this stuff is brilliant man and you're damn right some days you don't wanna talk to people cause you're tired and you'll be back eventually

[@john-wiggains]

You do such a good job explaining this. These are things I’ve picked up on in life but struggled to communicate to other people. I love the way you’ve presented this!! Good things to keep growing on.

[@urzathehappy72]

I was at the gym and a guy played sax cuz the staff asked him to. I ran out and asked his number. Now 1.5 years later he sold me his tenor, and let me borrow his alto and about to let me borrow his soprano saxophones. All from just saying hi and introducing myself to him

[@lizardbreath9999]

I love getting dressed up for Renaissance fairs and Halloween. When I am in costume for some reason I feel more outgoing. People come up to me and it makes it easier for me to socialize. The first thing you said about don't presume your bothering them. That is me so often! I'm not sure if it gives me a way out , or I truly think I'm pestering them

[@SS-hw9vu]

"Their sample size of you is so small." That was well put. Clicked in my brain 🙂

[@macprincess2]

What does it mean?

[@SS-hw9vu]

You're a complex person with your own history/personality/family/stories. When a total stranger meets you, they know none of that. They are only getting a snapshot of *what you look like and *what kind of energy you give off. They're getting a "sample." A very tiny sample. So basically, if you go up to someone and act as if you think you're dirt beneath their feet that doesn't even deserve their attention, that's how they're going to think you feel about yourself, and it will make them uncomfortable.

[@matzof]

Personally I like when people are a bit ankward and not loud. When I talk to high-energy people, it just signals to me that if I talk to them, it will take a lot of energy and probably not matter that much, because they talk to everyone. I think depending on what you want to achieve, both ways of behaving are important. For example in a professional environment, it is better to behave as a more outgoing person. At the same time, there's a lot of very open people who know and talk to everyone, but don't have a single real friend, and then there is others that know very few people, but they have much deeper relationship. I think the key is to be able to switch between the two ways, and to be genuine whatever you do.

[@candicek.4659]

Hi, your video was in my feed and I feel like I just met an old friend! You’ve presented really good ways to start a conversation and you’re so natural about it. Thanks for the book recommendations too!

[@Fysiker]

Thank you for the message, I find I downplay myself enough to think people would not enjoy a chat but that probably isn't true if I look at it more objectively. Viewing people as old friends from the start is a great mindset, looking back I can see some of that attitude in my friends when we met, and I also enjoy talking with people with that vibe.

[@BartvanderHorst]

Excellent!

[@AliciaMarkoe]

Thank you 🦋

[@wyatth2992]

People like to talk about themselves. Ask questions that allow them to express their feelings or relate about their life. Once they are an active participant in a conversation, then it is much easier to keep the conversation going.

[@candacecourtney7415]

Thanks for talking about momentum and potential setbacks to momentum - minimum carry over to next day

[@wasabi333]

The synchronicity is insane.

[@Jsmith-xi8ft]

I find when I intentionally withhold my self from social engagement I am practicing social selfishness. Acknowledging a stranger in a public setting, when appropriate, is exercising generosity, even compassion in some instances. You don't know who is literally starving for some social interaction.

[@quickielickie2106]

This video struck a chord with me. It’s refreshing to hear tips from someone who is still learning about confidence. The viewers’ perspective feels valid. I instantaneously subscribed! Keep it up!

[@rickdayton5847]

Good stuff . Its easy to see how friendly you are .i think you are the first you tuber i wanted to be friends with. My issue is i can make a good impression but it doesnt take someone very long to figure out that i am different/ weird . If i was a billionaire id be eccentric .i have a hard time trying to engage with small talk for any length of time ,and its difficult to find someone wanting to discuss big complicated stuff .thanks for the video

[@therhyno25]

You look really kind and nice, summarized some tips from the video and I will try to incorporate them into my daily life

[@BigSparky1316]

Damn man this was a real good video. There is so much truth in here and when your comfortable they will be comfortable and the energy will be right. I used to be super social before the pandemic now there almost no one to talk to so I lost a lot of skill it feels. I get mixed up and tongue tied like I never used too

[@andrebaxter4023]

Facts dude. You’re making good points. I learned from the Social Animal channel as well and have become more outgoing because of it. It’s endearing to know that I can have my positive vibe, and share that with others to help them have a better day as well. This helps foster a connection that otherwise may not have developed.

[@jackmartinleith]

Wonderful. Joyful. A delight. What a geezer. It;s the day after Christmas and this made my Boxing Day (as we call it here in the UK for some strange reason).

[@LMG7]

Lol I opened this cuz I thought it was how to approach people you already know. I'm great with strangers. It's kind of sad how I'm scared to approach people that I do know, that I think I'm bothering them.

[@debblouin]

It’s about what personal power you think you have. Maybe with a stranger you think the powers is equal and that makes interaction easier. Look at your relationships with people you know and see if you have allowed yourself to be put in a subservient position.

[@AB-xx1lj]

Excellent. Practical yet difficult to do. But we should all strive to exude confidence. Thank you!!

[@AnovaLisaDragonfly]

I appreciate this video. I’m hoping you might do a video on how to cultivate friendships? Especially when it seems like everyone already has their friend circles. I find it fairly easy to approach and talk with people, but maintaining the connection is a challenge for me. What’s the next step? And the next step after that? Do we exchange numbers? Do I call them so we can chat on the phone? Do we plan to go have lunch or check out some local event? How do I continue to get to know them, hoping they want to continue to get to know me?

[@lvngfrmdaheart]

Yes, I have this problem too. I am not really great at making new connections, but I do every once in a while. However the greater challenge is maintaining the connection. How do we do that? Many times after the first interaction when you reach out to people they seem cold and distant. This has happened a couple of times. Then I stopped trying. Please advice. Thank you!

[@basicfit287]

Man I freakin love this channel

[@jamiereife5581]

Great concept, and a big need. Thank you

[@travelchannel304]

I'm totally comfortable w/ strangers. Your curiosity about what you want to converse with distracts into that vibe . It's not about you or them necessarily. Practice it if they did get "bothered". It's there problem & NONE of YOUR business. Lol refreshing fact.

[@mishasnyder9873]

You speak with such clarity

[@goji5887]

Wow, this is great! That's the second time I've seen you pop up with a banger, this definitely earns a sub and more viewers imo, because this feels like a video from a 100k+ channel. Also, I agree with some of the other comments here that you're a really great speaker. Not only do you speak clear, with a comfortable pace, and enticing (without being annoyingly high energy), but it feels like you naturally have flowing, supportive body language too. Combine that with the fact that you seem to really have a grasp on the subject, and it makes it really nice to listen to you talk. I think it's true by the way, that we do all have that outgoing person somewhere inside of us. You've reminded me of mine. Lately I've been falling a bit too much into my isolated and introverted side myself, and I appreciate you trying to pull people like me toward the opposite. It's not naturally my default mode, but I do remember what it feels like and I want to get back to it. Also, I appreciate the book references, might have to look into those. More videos like this please!

[@complexobjects]

I want to frame this comment on my wall. Thanks very much! 🙏 You pointed out several aspects of my video-making process that I pour a lot of attention into, and it motivates me to work even more on communicating clearly. It's not my default mode either. I'm glad it inspired you!

[@DanYellowTheeMan]

I consider myself pretty good at socializing ot even very good. I'm pretty introverted and very private but most people wouldn't know that if they saw me in action at social events. All this to say is that there's some very good points from this video that I can add to my repetoire! Some points that I haven't heard before that I feel are refreshing. No corny one liners or anything like that. Just genuine communication and ideas.

[@ThusISpake]

Great video. Many familiar points, but you're offering a new angle. Also, your style is very easy to listen to.