How to Attract Henry Tilney | Jane Austen Analysis, Northanger Abbey and Gratitude

[@scarylion1roar]

The Perks of Henry Tillney: he doesn't look down on and deride typically "Feminine" pursuits like fabric and novels, he actually listens to Catherine, and he's a good driver.

[@missanne2908]

I think I fell in love with Mr. Tilney when he opined about the washability of Catherine's gown.

[@lucye4389]

When Mrs Allen exclaim twice that "He understand muslin" I was like "oh, he is marriage material! Katherine needs to get him soon!"

[@lizzy-wx4rx]

"Do you understand muslin, sir?!"

[@mayarabatistas]

Henry is my favourite Austen male character because of that ❤️

[@frankupton5821]

I suggest that all of General Tilney's children adopt coping strategies for having a cold, tyrannnical father who made their mother miserable. Frederick escapes into laddishness, rudeness and machismo; Eleanor shrinks into herself but tries to be much kinder than her father; Henry takes a detached attitude and seeks refuge in cleverness and wit.

[@sheleavitt06]

I love Henry. He is without a doubt the best Jane Austen leading man because he has a personality that you would actually like to date. Seriously he is the only one with any sense of humor. All of the other guys take themselves too seriously and are all stoic, brooding, lecturing, clueless etc to the heroine but Henry is kind, funny, charming, and honorable. You can’t tell me that is not someone you would want to spend time with.

[@tatiananagumo1962]

I think Henry is also a lecturing kind only he dose it with humor. I think the reason Catherine dosen't get offended at his "jokes" is because she likes him and because she dosen't understands much of what he means etc Brw J.A points out that another reason for Henry liking Catherine was the fact that she was simple and naive, didn't know much and was humble and open to recive his instruction 😀 Need to reread the book to find exact words....

[@Paula-mp7lp]

I love Henry, too. He is the type of person that attracts me in real life.

[@angelatuson972]

He's nice, and showed it when they first met him. But Mr Knightly is kind, kind, kind... and Mr Darcy can admit he's wrong. They're pretty cool too. And Captain Wentworth ... his head is turned by Louisa's attention, but he sticks with loving Anne. A one-woman man - yay!

[@callisastapp7160]

Yessss

[@frwassersuppe]

i think wentworth also has some humor but tilney's is definitely showing more

[@staffanlindstrom576]

Nobody ever speaks of Eleanor Tilney but she is one of the most endearing characters in Jane Austen.

[@GS-lq2is]

Of course, a big part of the attraction is that she likes him in her very honest way - there is no scheming or faking or molding her behavior for him (very much contrasted to Isabella's behavior). I mean, even in her infatuation, she sometimes hesitates when she thinks he's being a little unfair. She's not trying to catch him. She just likes him and it shows.

[@chizzieshark]

That's what I love about Catherine as a character - she is naive but not stupid, honest but not foolish. In Henry's words: "Open, candid, artless, guileless, with affections strong but simple, forming no pretensions, and knowing no disguise."

[@claudiarichmann9313]

I imagine Jane Austen reading Samuel Richardson's article and mischievously wanting to tweak his old fashioned morals, added that little gem in her story. Brilliant.

[@justincheng5241]

"I am too realistic to get Darcy, and I can let Fanny have Edmund, give me Henry Tilney." A lot of people I think would agree with this statement.

[@Marielusi]

I totally agree! Tilney is my favourite man in the Austen novels. He his witty, he doesn't take himself too seriously and he is very kind, despite his father and brother.

[@DoctorDewgong]

​@@Marielusihe's not a pushover either. He definitely gives some resistance when the girls are being goofy

[@raraavis7782]

There's also an interesting connection to what Charlotte Lucas says to Lizzy about Jane and Mr. Bingley: 'If she really likes him, she should show more affection than she feels, even - if she is to secure him'. This tends to sound rather cunning and even manipulative, to the modern reader...but now, I wonder if it was meant that way. Maybe, in fact, Charlotte was simply talking about openly shown (genuine) affection inspiring reciprocal feelings in the other person. It could be, if this whole gratitude thing was a reoccurring theme in Jane Austen's novels.

[@morat242]

I think that Charlotte says a mix of good dating advice and pragmatic life advice. She understands that if she doesn't marry well, she's got a lifetime of poverty ahead of her, and the same is true of the Bennets. She also knows that on average, a gentleman's daughter marries below her father (there aren't enough eldest sons for every daughter), and quite a few will never marry. From her POV, Jane ought to be seizing a good opportunity, and Bingley is spectacularly better than she could realistically hope for. But Jane is also falling in love. Even if she had enough dowry to not need to marry him, she wants to marry him. A rich Jane wouldn't need to show more than she feels, but concealing all of her feelings would still be a bad idea. Lizzy starts by telling Charlotte how great it is that Jane conceals her feelings for Bingley from everyone, because then the gossips won't know to talk about her. Charlotte's is absolutely right to reply that if Jane is equally successful at convincing *Bingley* that she's not falling for him, he's probably going to move on, and Jane won't be comforted by not being gossiped about. I'd also add that since two of the biggest gossips in town are her mother and aunt, Jane and Bingley are being talked about *anyway*. "There is so much of gratitude or vanity in almost every attachment, that it is not safe to leave any to itself. We can all begin freely-a slight preference is natural enough; but there are very few of us who have heart enough to be really in love without encouragement. In nine cases out of ten, a woman had better show more affection than she feels. Bingley likes your sister undoubtedly; but he may never do more than like her, if she does not help him on.” "But she does help him on, as much as her nature will allow. If I can perceive her regard for him, he must be a simpleton indeed not to discover it too.” “Remember, Eliza, that he does not know Jane’s disposition as you do.” “But if a woman is partial to a man, and does not endeavour to conceal it, he must find it out.” Lizzy is being *absolutely ridiculous* here, of course. Jane's feelings are so obvious that even a simpleton can see them, and *also* so well hidden that the Meryton gossips will never find them out. And, yes, clearly a man who's met her a few times over a couple weeks *must* know her better than her closest sister. Plus, a few weeks later, Lizzy flips from being happy that people don't think Jane loves Bingley to being enraged that *Darcy* doesn't think that Jane loves Bingley (and tells him so).

[@MsJubjubbird]

I think to be fair to Lizzie, she is wary of gossip because of how her youngest siblings behave all the time. She's also practical in her own way and has seen a firsthand example of things going wrong when someone rushes into marriage within her own family, so she is cautious for her sister. After all, this is a girl who will only marry for the deepest love. But Charlotte has a point because they are split up when Darcy doubts her affections, thinking there are more material motives, and Bingley is easily convinced.

[@morat242]

@@MsJubjubbird But Jane not showing her feelings for Bingley doesn't protect her from gossip, as we see in the book. Lizzy really ought to know that, she's had a front row seat to Meryton gossip her whole life! Mrs. Bennet is going to crow about how rich Jane will be no matter what Jane does. Lizzy is bragging that other people can't tell that Jane likes Bingley at all, there's a huge gap from there to rushing into marriage. IMO, Darcy is being logical when he thinks that Jane doesn't want to marry Bingley. Bingley is rich and generous, which will save her family from poverty when her father dies, so that covers family duty. He's also handsome, friendly, charming, kind, well-behaved, etc. so he's an excellent option for a life partner even setting aside romance. And he's clearly falling in love. Yet Jane doesn't act more pleased to talk or dance with him than anyone else.

[@madeleinehill5870]

I think the first part of the quote applies better "There is so much of gratitude or vanity in almost every attachment that it is not safe to leave any to itself. We can all begin freely ― a slight preference is natural enough; but there are very few of us who have heart enough to be really in love without encouragement." It feels less calculated and more wistful/wise particularly the "heart enough" bit.

[@bookmouse2719]

@@morat242 Have you played, Marrying Mr. Darcy, game yet? lol

[@brittaistheworst7523]

The lens this woman analyzes Jane Austen through is so unique. She always finds ways to make a discussion about 200 year old novels feel refreshing and new. Not to mention the attention she pays to Austen's usually overlooked works.

[@angelatuson972]

I so agree. I watch all her videos and it has really given me more to think about and discuss in Jane Austen (and other literature) than any lecturer at university has given me.

[@monzaba1]

I think that Henry loved Cathrine also because she was polar opposite to his cruel, scheming father who never spoke what he thought unless it could hurt someone. Cathrine was kind, open, genuine, eager to set wrongs right, aghast of wronging a person even by thought. Though of course her excellent taste in men, especially preferring Henry over his richer brother, was no doubt also important 😁

[@you_already_have_it]

And more handsome brother. Henry had kinda insecurity about his looks, saying few times himself how his brother more handsome. So Henry is also very humble. He one of those people who had good looks but think less of themselves.

[@Youknowwhoyounopoo]

The reason Harriet started liking Mr Elton is because she felt gratitude thinking that someone could love her enough to consider stooping to her station. That's why she was able to transfer her feelings to him, as in love as she was with Robert Martin before. It's also why it was so devastating to her when she found out that Mr Elton's attractions were not directed at her. Her love for him had stemmed on the false assumption that he loved her. And then of course we see the same cycle with Mr Knightley when he asked her to dance after Mr Elton tried to humiliate her. And lastly, the same again when she figured out that after all that, Robert Martin still loved her anyway.

[@you_already_have_it]

Damn you're right! Hahaha😁

[@chizzieshark]

My second favourite passage in 'Northanger Abbey' is Henry Tilney's defence of the novel. But my first favourite passage is this: [Catherine speaking] "''If Mr Thorpe would only have stopped, I would have jumped out and run after you.' ...Is there a Henry in the world who could be insensible to such a declaration? Henry Tilney at least was not." So heartwarming! Special mention to the part where Henry Tilney is sharing an in-joke with his sister about her future sister-in-law, and the double meaning goes completely over Catherine's head.

[@oda_margrethe]

Ohh where in the book is this?

[@marthawolfsen5809]

@@oda_margrethe That's when Henry and his sister find out Isabella has dumped Catherine's brother for Captain Tilney-- their own brother! Henry sarcastically tells Eleanor to prepare for a sister-in-law (Isabella) who knows no disguise-- the very opposite of Isabella Thorpe! Eleanor replies she would love a sister-in-law like that-- meaning the simply honest Catherine.

[@marissawhite8140]

It does work too. I didn’t fling myself at my current boyfriend, but i showed genuine interest in spending time with him. Definitely helped the relationship blossom

[@EllieDashwood]

That’s awesome! You’re making the Catherine method work! 😂👍🏻

[@lbebko9154]

I love Henry And Catherine’s relationship because it’s the antithesis to the romantic trope of not-like-other-girlism, which can be so hugely problematic. Austen goes out of her way at the beginning of the book to explain how very normal and boring Catherine is. But even though she’s not a genius, she doesn’t have super powers, stunning beauty, eat like a linebacker while staying stick thin or have an encyclopedic knowledge of cricket or carriages (or whatever regency men were into), he still likes her…just as she is…(sry had to do it)

[@CandyAndromeda]

Yup. Both are lovely!

[@grace-ul9lf]

yessss 100%, and it goes out of its way to show henry likes ‘girly’ interests and validates them. catherine doesn’t like cricket or carriages, but henry likes novels and muslin. the ideal man.

[@angelicagutierrez7317]

I think Marianne Dashwood marrying Col. Brandon was her way to show him gratitude for all the things he had donde for her and her family.

[@angelatuson972]

She was won over by his devotion, repulsed eventually by Willhoughby's lack of it?

[@yana1955]

I thought Brandon deserved better.

[@tasi4372]

Halfway through the book I actually wanted Elinor and Colonel Brandon to end up together.

[@margaretgerdes8328]

Respect, admiration, and gratitude are the basis of love. At least in my experience. Seems like Jane Austen felt the same. Northanger Abbey showcases gratitude, Pride and Prejudice showcases respect, Mansfield Park showcases admiration.

[@Kelly-zv6ui]

Persuasion also shows trust and respect

[@elisa4620]

Agreed. :)

[@JacquelineViana]

OMG IT'S HAPPENING! HENRY CONTENT! Tilney >>>>>>>>>>>Darcy

[@EllieDashwood]

Henry is awesome!!!

[@nobirahim1818]

YESSS 😄

[@mariaefstratiou7427]

YOU'RE SO RIGHT

[@mittenista]

I do love Darcy, but poor, overlooked, Henry deserves to be up there at the top of the leaderboards. I think the ideal husband would be one part Henry, one part Darcy, with just a tiiiiny splash of Wickham. (Go light on the last as too much will ruin the mix and you'll have to throw the whole man away)

[@brittaistheworst7523]

@@mittenista ah yes, Darcy for the honesty, Tilney for the lighthearted fun and Wickham for the sociopathy 😍

[@kristenherrera2691]

Ya’ll can keep Mr. Darcy, give me Henry Tilney every time. You know he’s the only Austen hero that’s fun.

[@katherinewilson1853]

I love Mr. Darcy's stick-in-the-mud, bc I know people like him, and I love them too. However, Mr. Tilney is so relatable without being inappropriate. So sweet without being overly demonstrative. He is as a normal good person should be.

[@katherinek2709]

I've definitely been more attracted to guys who were more open about their interest than I would have been had they been a cold fish. It was fun dating my husband because he was so honest about how much he wanted to fall in love in a storybook romance way... While I was about as romantic as a diy home repair manual and never figured out the art of showing initial interest.

[@servinglooks247]

Now finally someone is asking the truly important questions of JA's works.

[@EllieDashwood]

😂😂😂

[@servinglooks247]

@@EllieDashwood Aaahh, what a bummer. He prefers others to take the initiative. Me and my social anxiety could never.🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@Jen321able]

I always loved Catherine and Henry. She is naïve but she is just cute to me lol. I did always kind of feel like he felt bad about how his father acted and decided to marry her for sure after that. But I need to read again, its been a while.

[@EllieDashwood]

I think she’s so cute too!

[@mimishimaineko1173]

Reciprocal liking is such a social media thing too! Who doesn't like a FB posting b/c the person has liked their postings before? ;)

[@jenadams2576]

I love this video. Great analysis. Henry Tilney is my favorite hero in Jane Austen, and I love Catherine too. This video helped me appreciate Catherine more. It's silly and outdated to think less of Catherine for falling in love first, but I did. It's helpful to see others fall in love with the heroine because it is yet another way to learn more about the character. But when the heroine falls in love first it seems cheap/easy. Which is stupid of me to think. I think our culture (myself included) can still, knowingly or unknowingly, have outdated ideas. I love that Jane Austen was ahead of her time and already mocking this. It's time I catch up. Thanks for making this video. ❤️

[@barbarabenoit3667]

I always loved Charlottes advice on this topic (for Jane adressed at Lizzy): "It may perhaps be pleasant," replied Charlotte, "to be able to impose on the public in such a case (to not show her feelings); but it is sometimes a disadvantage to be so very guarded. If a woman conceals her affection with the same skill from the object of it, she may lose the opportunity of fixing him; and it will then be but poor consolation to believe the world equally in the dark. There is so much of gratitude or vanity in almost every attachment, that it is not safe to leave any to itself. We can all BEGIN freely--a slight preference is natural enough; but there are very few of us who have heart enough to be really in love without encouragement. In nine cases out of ten a women had better show MORE affection than she feels. Bingley likes your sister undoubtedly; but he may never do more than like her, if she does not help him on."

[@KierTheScrivener]

I love Northanger Abbey and I look forward to more videos on Catherine and Tilney and KIDNAPPING.

[@lauramontague8235]

I have to say I love Henry Tilney. I think the fact that he has a warm relationship with is sister and is able to talk to Catherine about fabric and novels. Henry likes to be the teacher in the relationship but there is an element of teasing . It shows how Catherine also matures .

[@gingerhalo]

THESE are the types of “How To’s” we need. Am I right, ladies? 😆

[@EllieDashwood]

😂😂😂

[@MiljaHahto]

Yes. However, my experience is that while openly liking someone makes your chances better, making an actual initiative may not be of much use from a woman's perspective unless I'd you are into men unsure of themselves. There are sadly many men who take the chance when a woman takes the initiative, without thinking if they have enough of anything else than this gratitude - and it won't last. It may be beneficial to just show the interest, and then wait if the man actually is interested enough to take the initiative. On Jane Austen's time it was of course a given that the man would propose, if he wants to. These days it's usually a matter of smaller things (as getting married is not self-evident and the relationship is usually well established way before any proposal). I might ask a man for coffee... but leave it to him to ask me out on a dinner.

[@sso1834]

Your analysis is so inspiring, totally tapped into Jane Austen’s mind and her expression of mind. Bravo!

[@EllieDashwood]

Aw, I appreciate that so much. Thank you! 😃

[@salvadaXgracia]

I love this analysis. It's funny that some people thought only the man show fall in love first. Maybe because it often is that way- countless stories from married couples telling how she didn't like him at first but he kept pursuing her and eventually she fell in love with him too. I never liked those stories because it always made the man prideful and the woman look like she was dumb and had to come to her senses. So I was glad when I fell in love with the man I would marry first. He lived far away so I invited him to fly up and come on a ski trip with my family. I made sure to sit next to him and talk to him. We really did get along well. When it was time for him to leave I told him how much I would miss him and I secretly wrote a note and put it in his backpack to find later. Subtle, right? 😂 He realized I loved him and I think that was a big part of him allowing himself to love me too. We got married a year and a half later and have been married 13 years now and we have three wonderful kids. Still very happy. Jane Austen might say we are "well-matched". 😆🥰

[@crazywildcat1971]

Loved your sweet & short rundown of the article. Can you imagine if some of these men were alive today? We would be all unfit for marriage, especially me. I’ve been married for 30 years & we always joke that Brett married his stalker. I saw what I wanted & went for it like a bullet aiming for a target. Boom hit the target & claimed my prize. 😊

[@EllieDashwood]

That is awesome! 😂 Samuel Richardson would be so scandalized. 😳😂😂😂

[@whitemakesright2177]

Well, the vast majority of single young women today are unfit for marriage, absolutely and totally, but it has nothing to do with what Mr. Richardson was writing about (except maybe the part about going to church). Moreso the fact that they are rude, crass, entitled, materialistic, narcissistic, unfeminine, emotionally immature, and have no desire to get married, let alone have children. Many are also ugly by choice - fat, covered in ugly tattoos, ugly unfeminine hairstyles and facial piercings. Many even have poor personal hygiene, and their living spaces are even worse. They mostly lack domestic skills, including even basic cooking. They believe that domesticity is oppressive, and are disgusted by the idea of doing anything to serve a man (as both husband and wife should serve one another in a marriage). They are extremely sexually immoral. By 25, a shocking number are already single mothers, a shocking number have already had at least one abortion, and a shocking number are or have been sex workers of some kind. As if all of that weren't enough, they are often very deeply in debt. And yet these same women have a very high opinion of themselves, despite offering nearly nothing to a prospective husband. Of course there are some gems, but man, are they few and far between. I'm a young man currently seeking a wife, and it has been a nightmare trying to find even a decent woman. To be fair, the vast majority of single young men today are unmarriageable as well. It's an absolute crisis and one that will continue to get worse as the marriage rate and birth rate continue to plummet.

[@TorchwoodPandP]

Also the ‘gratitude’ of someone loving you, can make you want to improve yourself. Love is powerful stuff…

[@AdamBaum9]

As proof of concept, I think I like Ellie Dashwood, because whenever I watch her videos she seems to like me.

[@bronte826]

But you also have to remember Catherine's gratitude to Henry for asking her to dance in the first place. So the gratitude goes both ways, just for different reasons.

[@kataw0404]

When I first read Northanger Abbey, I did not like Henry Tilney. I knew he liked her because he knew how much she liked him so I thought that it was his vanity that their relationship was based on..... Then, I watched JJ Feild as Mr. Tilney.... sigh.... He gave me a new view of Mr. Tilney. When I saw his reaction to thinking Catherine stood them up for the walk, I realized he liked her more than I thought and for a longer period of time. He rose up in my Austen Hero rankings to a middle spot instead of towards the bottom.

[@woohoonelli]

Your videos have helped me understand so much of austen's work (both written and cinematic adaptations) on a deeper level. First thing that comes to mind is when miss bingley is asking Jane about what her uncle does for work in P&P, it was soo much more than simple light hearted small talk. Thank you so much and please keep releasing content!

[@megwilcox9774]

I love Northanger Abbey so much! Austen paints such a clear picture of an immature, sheltered girl becoming a woman in the most painful way, and young Mr. Tilney sees it all. He has a sense of humour about her, until she suggests foul play on the part of his Father, which is the moment she grows up, and realizes how foolish she had been. Henry is also attracted to her candour - she is genuine, and he appreciates that. One has to hope that Catherine grows in the relationship, because Henry is already very much an adult man, with a sharp mind. The whole gratitude thing perplexed me when I first read it, back when I was in my late teens, but it seems sensible now.

[@nebucamv5524]

So I know now why I fell in love with my boyfriend. He loved me first: and I fell gratitude. 😄😁😊🥰

[@EllieDashwood]

Awww!!! 😃🥰

[@carolinabho]

I loved this video, I recently read Northanger Abbey and I really liked it, especially the main characters and I find everything you say about the concept of gratitude that Jane develops in her novels very accurate. Regarding Mr. Richardson, I can only say that I would love to see him at this time🤣 although even today there are still Mr. Richardsons

[@JAPPoPLOPP]

I loved this video! I have read JA so many times without noticing this, thank you 🙏 Also: Feminism and equality is such an underestimated topic of JA’s works.

[@EllieDashwood]

Yay! I’m so glad you enjoyed it!

[@milizav]

I was left unsatisfied after finishing the book and reading Henry’s reason to liking Catherine, almost as if he didn’t love her enough, or at least not as Darcy loves Elizabeth. But after watching this video and understanding the meaning of this “gratitude” in Austen’s novels, I feel so much better and able to understand both Henry’s and Catherine’s love. So thank you, thank you so so much

[@83ajown669]

You’re a true JA fan. I’ve always found it hard to relate to other fans because I feel they miss the point she originally intended. You’ve nailed it and even taken it into a deeper level - this channel is great.

[@emberpaulovich6602]

Really love how Henry and Catherine's relationship is portrayed in The Murder of Mr Wickham by Claudia Grey, it's worth reading not just for the Tilneys but for the drama of all the characters in a new scenario!

[@lenusniq_9746]

I think Austen really liked the concept of more "active" woman when it comes to relationships - in PP, Charlotte tells Lizzie that Jane should be showing more affection (and alas, Mr Darcy later says that Jane didn't seem to prefer Mr. Binley). Similarly in SS, Edward says that he thought he would not hurt Elinor because she didn't seem to "like" him romantically.

[@amandas3977]

I love your analysis as always! It's so unfortunate that there are Samuel Richardson types still around today.

[@EllieDashwood]

Yay! I’m glad you enjoyed it! And it’s so true about Richardsons of the world. 😂 Some things never change.

[@k.l.8804]

It's a weird thing he suggests by the way 😅 Looking at girls at church? I thought church was a place for religion and pious thoughts?? 😅😁

[@amandas3977]

@@k.l.8804 Yes, exactly. I think Mr. Richardson's objection to women going to public assemblies and balls, is that it allows women to be active participants in courtship. According to these quotes, it would seem that his view is that women should be satisfied to be the object of men's attention, whether it is wanted or not. I mean, sometimes a girl might be flattered that a cutie in the next pew is checking her out, but mostly she's there to hear the sermon. At an assembly or ball, a woman comes to meet people and I think that is what he finds threatening.

[@laramtt]

Mr Tilney was always my favourite, for his good character and kindness ❤️❤️ Thank you very much for the subtitles in spanish .. you have a new subscriber ☺️

[@ameliecarre4783]

Apparently we tend to be more attracted to a person who looks at us with dilated pupils. Because dilated pupils can be, among other things, a sign of desire. It's a tiny detail that our brain register without us being conscious of it at all, but it can definitely play a part. Of course dilated pupils are sometimes the sign of something else entirely. And if the other person was initially repulsive to us, the fact that their pupils are dilated wouldn't change our feeling to attraction, unconscious gratitude or not.

[@randomchance7796]

One thing about reciprocal liking is that it is most effective in people who are younger with less experience or someone with lower self esteem. Someone with a happy full life can be told, this person likes you, that person is interested, and it won't automatically trigger this gratitude. They'll withhold judgement until they know more about the interested person, like, are they a stalker type? Do they like my money? Are they only interested in looks?

[@potternutmania]

Oh my god i love the subtle dig with the celebrated writer thing. Austen was so freaking witty!

[@jupham4771]

Excellent video...This is very practical today. Gratitude (Reciprical liking) or recipriocity in general is a good test or tell for all your relationships, imho. I can't think of a one that recipriocity didn't line up with the longevity and strength of the relationship, friendship, etc. I say move on if the recipriocity doesn't occur after a couple tries. People today that were brought up to be recipricous will have a duty, yet temper it, if romantic connections would be misinterreted. Others will miss the opportunity to reciprocate or be confused with the gesture. I know quantum leap, may be they will come off as proud or prejudice in some way. I'm writing a unique novel called "First Impressions"...to explain, LOL Nope Jane's the writer not I.

[@zbr76]

This is all very well for ladies, but how about "How to Attract Catherine Morland" for male Janeites? Jokes aside, Northanger is the best Austen novel and Henry Tilney's the best Austen hero.

[@DipityS]

Fascinating! I love to learn new things about how people in Jane Austen's sphere of life thought and assumed - it makes each re-read of the novels come alive newly each time.

[@leticiadreger3015]

The video I needed! Henry Tilney is my favorite hero of Austen and seriously, I would rather marry Tilnry than Darcy. Maybe is because I see myself on Catherine. Love him!

[@Iain1957]

I think this is one of the best videos you have done yet (despite the hair misfortune) and I really liked your references to Samuel Richardson. I actually knew someone who joined a Church to meet eligible ladies although they were a bit Evangelical so I doubt they had communion. I was thinking though of people who feel that because they are nice to a prospective partner the partner should like them in gratitude which can end up in some really terrible things happening. But then you reference to how Elizabeth thinks about the subject is also instructive.

[@whitemakesright2177]

Church is one of the few places left to meet decent women these days. There's not really any other place that respectable women gather in numbers. So if you don't have the good fortune to meet anyone through work or your social circle, it's either church or online dating (which I've found to be miserably useless).

[@Marielusi]

I found that quite interesting about Lizzie's character in P&P . I think we read the thoughts of her Aunt, when she thinks about Lizzie and says something like: If Lizzie knew she had the power over Darcy (Darcy loving Lizzie) Lizzie would start to like Darcy as well.

[@julierigal595]

It’s Charlotte, not Lizzy’s aunt.

[@Marielusi]

@@julierigal595 or her, anyway...

[@pillbugm8914]

This is a pretty great analysis that shows how Austen allows her characters to fall in love - too many romances nowadays have their characters fall in love just because they are the main characters

[@monikazaboklicka3400]

I always thought Catherine's big charm for both younger Tilneys was her being a polar opposite of the horrible general Tilney. She must have been a breath of fresh air. Also, Henry loved and respected his sister - he was grateful to Catherine for making Eleanor as happy as she could be after her young man got kicked out.

[@lucye4389]

I am so happy that you talk about my favorite Austen hero! I always misunderstood why they like Katherine (I didn't read in english) and listening to you make me like this book even more!!!

[@azurephoenix9546]

Northanger Abbey is my favorite of all the novels because we were required to read all of them in 9th grade and I think at that age I really identified with Catherine more than the other heroines. It was the first one that I really liked and enjoyed reading, and wasn't just reading because I had to.

[@MySThomson]

I loved this video! It cracked me up 😂. Ellie you have a real gift for comic delivery and timing. I also I love how you delve deep into JA's books and then explain and paraphrase them in such a respectful but modern and humourous way. I think Jane Austen would like it too!

[@DaisyNinjaGirl]

Yeah, I think that 'teaching yourself to love someone' (out of gratitude) is one of those recurring features of these love stories. Even when Austen undercuts herself a bit, like, when she explains that Anne and Frederick fell quickly and violently in love because "Anne had no one to love, and Frederick had nothing to do" - but then, nine years later, they're both presented multiple good openings with other individuals who make sense in personality and finances, and still really only have eyes for each other. I think there's also this sense that being 'unguarded' about your feelings for someone makes you vulnerable: to men, that might create an expectation that you're about to make a proposal and feel honour bound to follow through; to women, a failed attachment is this almost palpable thing that could make them sicken, and expose them to harsh criticism and gossip from their peers. Being open about liking someone is an actual act of bravery.

[@konpulsiv]

I'm so glad I found this video (and your channel!)! 'Northanger Abbey' is my favourite Austen novel and Catherine & Henry are my favourite Austen couple, but somehow I've always kind of feared that in the end, Henry still wasn't as much into Catherine as the other way around. Maybe because I felt like he wanted to make up on his fathers bad behaviour towards her? I don't know. This video made me realize that there are early signs of his reciprocating, and I'm weirdly relieved! 😅 So thank you very much :)

[@dannyjimenez4545]

I think Henry was already so much in love of Catherine, that's why he first talked about his feelings and proposed and then begged pardon for his father's behavior. I really adore Henry, it's my favorite, although I would have liked to read more dialogs of him at the end. Jane Austen only related it :(

[@whitemakesright2177]

As a man, I can definitely attest to this phenomenon. There have been several girls that I had never considered in that way until I thought that they liked me, and likewise there have been women that never considered me that way until they thought I liked them. If you wanted to, you could go a long way toward setting two people up just by telling each separately that the other liked them, even if that wasn't true.

[@Tuskenknits]

I think this is probably how it works 75% of the time. Most guys are pretty oblivious until one of their friends gives him a hint that so and so likes him. This boosts his ego, and gets him thinking 🤔

[@EllieDashwood]

😂😂😂

[@marielguzman8246]

I recently discovered your channel and I absolutely love it!!! 👍👌🏻💖 I have a BA in English Language and Literature, and Jane Austen is one of my lifetime gurus 🙌 and one of the reasons I chose it. I would also love videos about Elizabeth Gaskell’s North & South, The Brontës works, Little Women, Anne of Green Gables, and more Jane Austen please 🙏🏻, it would be awesome a Sense and Sensibility comparison between the 2008 miniseries and the 1995 version. Greetings from 🇲🇽 🤗

[@EllieDashwood]

That is so cool that you studied English! And welcome to the channel! Thanks so much for watching. I will definitely note down those video ideas! 😃

[@cherithjeremiah1395]

Yay! An Ellie Dashwood video about Northanger Abbey!

[@tatiananagumo1962]

I think love can start in so many different ways! In my personal experience every time i liked a guy he didn't like me back and vice versa. Untill my future husband came into picture. I knew him as a not very close friend for a decade and than one day he suddenly invited me for a date! It was wholly unexpected but i agreed. And as we continued to date slowly i developed fillings for him etc etc. So I guess my fillings to him did start in gratitude. But if he whould of be repulsive to me i doubt if i whould of agreed to go on that date and i doubt that any gratitude whould of changed it. So i conclude that gratitude should be accompanied with some liking (even subconsious).

[@victoriiiamarie]

Bestie I’ve been watching your videos all day I’ve learned so much niche information from it I’m so happy thank you for making videos so I can learn things so easily!

[@EllieDashwood]

Aw! Thanks so much for watching!!! I’m glad you’re enjoying the videos. 😃☺️✨

[@AlliJuarez]

Your ponytail is super cute! Don’t apologize. ☺️

[@EllieDashwood]

Aw! Thank you!!!

[@diannerenn4726]

I so appreciate your analysis and connecting the gratitude theme across novels. Thank you.

[@angelatuson972]

Loved this (and all your videos Ellie). In P&P Mr Darcy tells Elizabeth that he thought Jane wasn't into Bingly because she didn't show it in public; she remained impassive. Jane was following protocol. But Mr Darcy was looking for signs she liked his friend, didn't see them, and so pursuaded Bingly that Jane wasn't really attached to him. Hmm. Didn't Charlotte comment on this and say that Jane should show more than she felt to gain Bingly's interest?

[@mathilde139]

So interesting. In the novelization of The Rise of Skywalker, the kiss given by Rey to Ben Solo is described as a kiss of gratitude, which unsettled me at first, but makes so much sense when we see how much of their relationship was openly inspired by Pride and Prejudice and the Darcy/Elizabeth dynamic throughout the trilogy. It also highlights Jane Austen's work everlasting quality and her eye for human quality and nuances.

[@you_already_have_it]

Such a good video, Ellie! And what a lesson for me personally. Thank you 😌 Next time i like a guy, I am gonna show it openly and honestly as i can.

[@giovanalaurence]

I LOVE this type of videos. I could watch this all day

[@unaanguila]

Thanks for sharing the analysis.

[@shannonwiegmann8220]

This was great analysis. I had forgotten the reference to gratitude in these books so this has added to my enjoyment and understanding of them. Thank you!

[@grace-ul9lf]

i think part of the gratitude thing w/ henry is his parents’ relationship. his dad was emotionally abusive to his mom, he grew up in his unloving home. i think that would really make him want a healthy honest and loving relationship w/ someone ‘artless’ like catherine

[@alanaw27]

I like the idea of going to church to meet women. I knew a guy who did that in the 1970s. I must confess to meeting a future boyfriend at a funeral. In my favour is that he was handsome and a jazz pianist. I was wearing a large hat and gloves. Like every good heroine be open to opportunities.

[@whitemakesright2177]

Church is one of the last places left where decent women still gather in any numbers.

[@DoctorDewgong]

Pretty normal place for Catholics to meet their future spouse today

[@2ndRatePetronius]

Eye-opening analysis for me.

[@EllieDashwood]

Yay, I'm so glad you enjoyed it! 😃

[@Numenorean1]

For the longest time, I've just wanted an Elizabeth Bennet / Henry Tilney interaction. A conversation, anything.

[@stroke_of_luck]

Lots of women would like Henry Tilney. But it was her intelligence that attracts him. She is 17 so she is kind of silly. But he can enjoy his chaffing her about her novels that she reads. Bur he reads them too. She attracts him on an intellectual level. And Catherine has absolutely no gratitude toward Thorpe at all. Thorpe instead fills her with revulsion the more she is in his company. She regards him like a cat regarding Pepe le Pew.No gratitude *there*. As much as there exits mutual carnal attraction, there is the fact that she is extremely easy to talk to about mutual interests. I kind of think he just wanted to apologize to her for what his father did, but the fact she managed to gets home and she made no great bones about the fact she was sent like that probably caused the proposal. She was a smart young woman who can take care of herself made him decide then and there. PS: I think Northanger Abbey to be infinitely than Pride and Prejudice. I really don't like that Elizabeth gets the rich dude who can buy his way to solve any problems. Catherine's ride home makes her a more heroic heroine.

[@beth1862]

Really interesting thoughts about gratitude. I'd never noticed this trend in Austen novels before, but it's certainly a real thing!

[@brubs2556]

I just finished reading Northanger Abbey for the first time. It's so stricking how naive she is compared to other Austen heroines, but I guess it's due to the fact that she's younger.

[@frozenmangoes]

Thanks for another excellent video, Ellie!

[@EllieDashwood]

Aw! Thank you for watching!!! 😃😃😃

[@katewill7302]

I love this video!! Poor Sam wouldn’t be able to handle things today!🤣🤣🤣 Thanks for the fun analysis. It made me smile.😊

[@emilycreager2269]

My husband likes to tell me one of the most attractive things about me is that he could see I liked him. Then he realized he liked me. But I feel like he liked me first, then I guess I reciprocated.

[@sissoed]

Another excellent piece of analysis, this time on gratitude. Kudos for taking the effort to read Richardson's piece.

[@marit4241]

This is very interesting. In addition, I think we have to remember too that at this time people got married very fast, after knowing someone. I mean, young people would travel or stay at a friend's house, as we see in Jane's books, to know different people and maybe get back with a fiance. So gratitude maybe it's a part of this, like "I knew this cool guy, he likes me, I am grateful, I like him too and will accept him before I go back home". If we note, this happens with Catherine, with Harriet from Emma, kind of with the Crawfords in Mansfield... I mean, specially to ladies, there were few oportunities to know different people, so once they met someone, they have to act quicly, otherwise could loose the chance and get back to their neighborhood. For the men, the liberty (if they had money) would allow them to go to more places and know more people.

[@edennis8578]

Regarding Mr. Richardson's opinion: when I was in college, one snowy day I wore a beautiful, expensive, feminine pair of (waterproofed) gray suede boots with my long wool skirt. An old professor actually said to me that he thought no women but tarts wore boots. In Iowa. Where the winters are cold and can be 6 months long. I felt heartily sorry for his poor wife.

[@bambino100011]

Soooo, this is a confession from when I was in High School….. My teacher assigned our class to choose an Austin novel, and I was the only one to choose Northanger Abbey….. however, being my immature male self of scoffing at Austin (I appreciate now the character developments in her books now.). I basically bought Cliff Notes to write my book report and pretty much tweeked the analyses of the author and made it my own….. My teacher never said a word and I think I got a good grade on that paper…🤣🤣

[@kittie076]

You forgot to mention his understanding of muslin. That was very important 😜

[@anyasmin7963]

This is such a great analysis! Very informative and educational too. Thank you so much! 😄💖💖

[@jenlopez512]

Samuel Richardson strikes me as the kind of guy who tries to pick up women at funerals, and I gotta say I am not here for it

[@francesduncandoes]

Yes gratitude! I've had a talk percolating about this for a while now.

[@bluethnerfluegel]

Since you have brought up the subject of forgotten texts mentioned in Northanger Abbey, could you possibly do a video on The Mystery of Udolpho? Heck, we could even do a book club for obscure tomes.

[@katherineroddy9190]

I admit that Henry is my favorite Austen guy. He seems to actually like people-- he likes talking with people. But I worry about the effect his father may have had on his personality over the years. This brings me to a question I would like Ellie to address, but I'll make that.a separate comment.

[@kevinrussell1144]

They were introduced at a dance, and we must presume Henry asked HER for the honor of dancing, not the other way around. He must have been attracted to her as well. Mutual gratitude, yes, but it was NOT a one-way street. She COULD have said "no", but she didn't, because she liked his appearance and manner. The made a nice couple from Chapter 3 on. I'm with others here believing Henry among the most appealing male characters created by Jane. Yes, he teases her, but never in a mean fashion, and I suspect he always recognized her as more than a pretty face.

[@missanne2908]

It's fascinating what Richardson says about seeing young ladies in church. In fairy tales that have the same Aarne-Thompson-Uther index as Cinderella (e.g. Katie Woodencloak), many times the young prince sees the protagonist in church, usually three times in a row, in the same way Cinderella is seen at three balls.

[@deenaminyard3788]

JJ Feilds is one of my favorite "Austen" character actors. From Boulder, CO.

[@Katherine_The_Okay]

Well, if Samuel Richardson thinks a way of behaving is wrong, I am just automatically on-board with it. Clearly, I need to start attending assemblies now, just to piss off his ghost... (note to self: buy a dress, can't go to an assembly in trousers)

[@edennis8578]

Oh, I don't know. Even princesses now attend formal functions in trousers. For example, Princess Margaretha of Lichtenstein attended a formal wedding in trousers in 2014. Crown Princess Mary of Denmark wore trousers to a state dinner in 2019. And Princess Charlene of Monaco has worn trousers to formal events like the Red Cross Gala in 2015. You should look up some of the formal trouser ensembles that Princess Charlene has worn over the years. Fab.u.lous.

[@Katherine_The_Okay]

@@edennis8578 Oh, even better. Something tells me that the only thing that would annoy Samuel Richardson more than a female shamelessly attending assemblies is one shamelessly attending assemblies in a tasteful pair of trousers! 🤣 (I don't really keep up on royal families so I wasn't aware it was proper etiquette these days, but it does make me happy to hear that at least some royals are onboard with women wearing what they want. So thanks for letting me know 😀) (edit: oof, she wears it better than I ever will. I stand in awe, or at least in mild admiration of what good taste and a good stylist can accomplish)

[@patricia1468]

Great video! Henry is my favorite.❤️

[@elisa4620]

Hello. This was a very interesting video and analysis. I also agree with another comment about how gratitude, respect and admiration are the foundations of a (healthy) relationship (romantic or not). English is not my first language but I've been learning it for a while now. I can read a whole book or watch a whole film without subtitles. Still, old English is still difficult. I always feel like I am missing some subtlties. I love Jane Austen books and really appreciated how you "translated" some parts in modern language. It was funny too.

[@annagracehayes]

Dah! Ellie! You're always blowing my mind! 😂❤️

[@EllieDashwood]

😂😃😂