How to Be Miserable and Ruin Your Life

Do you complain constantly? Always feel like you’re under attack?
Well, congratulations, these alone tell me that you’re already well on your way to becoming a miserable sack of sh*t. In this video, I share 9 simple steps on how to take absolutely no responsibility for yourself, how to become 100% unlikeable and how to go and live unhappily ever after as the worst possible version of yourself.
You can thank me when no one shows up to your funeral.
(This video is based on my article written in Nov, 2012: markmanson.net/the-guide-to-b...)
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I am Mark Manson, 3x #1 NY Times bestselling author of:
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck - mrk.mn/3svfxcu
Everything Is F*cked: A Book About Hope - mrk.mn/2RNxVAD
I share other types of content to make you a less awful human in these places:
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Thanks for watching.

[@IAmMarkManson]

If you feel the need to complain anonymously on the internet to a bunch of people who don't care, feel free to drop a comment here. ❤

[@roopeshkumar2335]

Life Sucks!!

[@DeadFox65]

The quality is always on top! Thank you Mark

[@roostermaind6413]

Fuck bank tellers, they should work faster. Why do I have to sit in line?

[@inconnu4961]

@@roopeshkumar2335 You can say that again!

[@inconnu4961]

@@_Ahmed__Hesham_ LOL why fix the problem when we can avoid it instead! This is better than watching stupid cat videos . . . but not by much!

[@roopeshkumar2335]

In a Parallel Universe: 1. Always Take Accountability for your Problems. 2. Try to fix things constantly. 3. Confront anything uncomfortable or challenging which needs to be solved. 4. Do not wait for someone else but be the one to fix your own problems. 5. Do not depend on others to fix your life problems. 6. Do not worry about what others or society think or judge about you, Be your authentic or boring self. 7. Social Media is not for sharing your problems or constantly complaining. There are other simpler ways. 8. Take Action. 9. Believe and Strive to change yourself for better.

[@SpartanTaylor]

Alright, Emo-Newton!

[@brucelee4996]

Thanks Roopesh.👌 I guess Spartan thought he was being funny. He just left a lame, unuseful comment. He's probably a whiner; Mark was talking about them. Roopesh - *Thank You.* Spartan - 😭😭😭👶🍼

[@toddboothbee1361]

In other words, have courage even when you don't feel like it.

[@amymason156]

Honestly, following all of those sounds just as much like a recipe for misery! Self-flagellation, no breaks, social isolation and complete self-reliance? Might as well just auto-immolate! Gotta pick some from each list to function.

[@Azurethewolf168]

Too much effort, this is way too challenging to do and won’t result in anything since misery is eternal. Might as well just bury myself into addictions!

[@Forbidden.wisdom.]

*”Do not fear having no friends. Fear having bad friends”* ~My life taught lesson

[@thomaswhite2609]

All friends turn out to be bad friends after some time.

[@Forbidden.wisdom.]

@@thomaswhite2609 more wisdom in my channel :)

[@saeso6974]

​@@thomaswhite2609did step 7 of the video escape your mind 😭😭

[@richardfadle5921]

So very true!!! And also; most people are not worth knowing!!! Except maybe casually!!! Hello and Goodbye

[@richardfadle5921]

And as you get to know them better!!! Remember the old saying; Familiary breeds contempt!!!!!! Thomas.

[@Michevell]

Ahhh yes I remember the days of being trapped in my victim mentality … and then once you get out of it life becomes night and day. Thanks for sharing 👏

[@muhammadsufiyan3286]

Hi !

[@djdragons69420]

How to get out of it?

[@areasontosmile1704]

unless youre terminally ill. than thats a diff story.

[@Fart_Simpson]

I have low self esteem making me a non-traditional narcissist, obsessed with what others think of me. I vent, but don't complain all the time. Definitely a lot to learn from this video thanks Mark 🤌

[@kraenk12]

If you call yourself a narcissist you aren’t one! You might have narcissistic tendencies as we all do, but if you self-reflect enough to call you a narcissist you are none!!!

[@Purplepenguinguy]

All narcissists have low self esteem and obsess over what others think of them

[@mikedavis6690]

lol ⬆️ @ kraenk you know that’s not true . Admission doesn’t mean recovery has happened .

[@Fart_Simpson]

@@mikedavis6690 Yeah I wouldn't call it recovery yet at that point, but definitely good hope of recovery. UPDATE: I'm definitely less of a narcissist now compared to 9 months ago. This comment feels like ages ago, I've done good work lads 💪 but must continue. It's a practice!

[@iamanoobwhodoesgaming]

What a great guide, I can finally be miserable. Thanks Mark Manson!

[@notrhythm]

oh hey you also do gaming, good going!

[@Kenstiel]

You were not supposed to compliment him! Now you're less miserable than before.

[@salihusule5481]

​@@Kenstiel 😂😂😂

[@MadonnaGrogan]

Whose fault if u no get miserable enough😂😉😋

[@HeisenbergFam]

This man is a multidimensional philosopher wondering about matters mankind desperately needs answers for

[@Azurethewolf168]

Why are you on every video?

[@Nefville]

This bot is everywhere. I hope you learned something about your programming at least.

[@inconnu4961]

@@Nefville He's a bot? dam, i didnt even notice! LOL How dum am I?

[@mastero7467]

Say your name.

[@Asherrhayez]

😂😂😂😂😂 I love this guy

[@sandigerro]

The 1. Point could also be "blame everything on yourself". Like even stuff you cant control. My low self esteem lead me to think that im a piece of 💩 that deserved all that, so i felt kinda validated and in a weird way secure.

[@paintsniffer401]

real

[@hd-be7di]

I realized that I have developed the wrong reaction to a problem. Instead of taking action, I chose to blame and be a victim. It's a choice and a mental habit no more no less.

[@Just_B0red]

True, you can't blame inflation, rent utility and grocery prices on yourself.

[@ssebasgoo]

I remember a really sad part of my life when I lost my job and became completely depressed. Without my roommates telling me that I must move and I must try to return back on my feet, I would still be in that terrible phase. Bless them for what they did, they're my guardian angels.

[@blondie9422]

I have probably done all these things 😬 The victim mindset is TOXIC!!! We need to break out of it

[@GabrielXDrums]

How? When you see others with what you want and then try to go for it but don’t what are you to do?

[@TheSwauzz]

@@GabrielXDrums Stop comparing yourself to others and appreciate what you already have regularly. Those are two tried and true methods. Gratitude is a huge factor in one's happiness.

[@blondie9422]

@@GabrielXDrums I will look at people that have much less than me. There are many women in poor countries that get sold into prostitution and slavery. There are homeless addicts on the street in my city. Sometimes I will get sad when I see people that have more than me but realistically I’m doing a lot better than probably most people in this world. I live in a good part of a first world country and had access to great resources. I’ve never had to do anything truly desperate to survive. I am so lucky compared to most in the world. Most people are actually pretty poor if you take into account the whole world and not just some people you know living in a rich first world country.

[@leachatee]

Adapting a victim mindest and defining yourself through it isn‘t helpful or productive. BUT realising the harm others have caused you, is. And that you have in fact been a victim to their abuse. Sometimes there‘s no moving past your issues if you don’t adress the injustice you‘ve endured, work through it and stand up for yourself. THEN you can see yourself as more than a victim, because you found the tools to help yourself. Just thinking you should suck it up and stop holding anyone else but yourself accountable is TOXIC positivity. And comparing yourself to others is useless- this is no competition of suffering. It will only make you feel ungrateful and guilty. Just because others might have it worse than you doesn‘t mean your problems aren‘t valid. You don’t have to be fighting for survival to deserve help. You deserve it nonetheless.

[@kaufmanat1]

​@@GabrielXDrums it's literally the tenth commandant: "Dont covet others" lol. Your question assumes coveting and being jealous of others is inevitable. Think of it like asking, "when I overeat all the time and don't exercise, I get fat, feel miserable, and get type 2 diabetes. What am I to do??" like it's some impossible riddle. Stop coveting what others have. Just stop doing that. It's a miserable activity that'll destroy a society. That's why it's on, historically, the most famous list of 10 things humans shouldn't do. another example: When I break into my neighbors house and take his stuff, I go to jail, what am I to do??? Um, maybe don't break into your neighbors house and steal his stuff. Turns out, stealing was also mentioned on that list of ten things we shouldn't do. More life lessons I can give, don't lie, don't murder people, don't cheat on your spouse, don't worship or idolize other people, always remain focused on what it is true, righteous, and noble, take breaks sometimes and spend quality time with those you love, honor those who take care of you... All game changers.

[@Sarbury12]

Watching this while lounging on a couch and I feel seen and attacked at the same time. Thanks for speaking the truths!

[@martin-fc4kk]

😂

[@rosspirsig]

'The more we run away from misery, the more miserable and restless we will become. Pleasure and pain are never separated from one another because the source of pleasure is work mingled with pain...and the pain issues from the various evil pleasures.' - Leonardo da Vinci

[@176-yashgupta3]

About 6 months before I did almost all the things you said in this video. And i truly identify that as most miserable times of my life.

[@TheFatRat]

Brilliant video. Packed with wisdom and hilariousness (not sure if that's a word).

[@chickensio4755]

YOO ITS THE LEGEND HIMSELF

[@abnoco]

it is a word, but maybe you were thinking "hilarity". either way the meaning is clear, and I agree

[@Shut_Up]

OMG THE FAT RAT I LOVE YOU AND EVERGLOW NEW SONGGG

[@arnobbhattacharjee1853]

Omg omg!!!!!!

[@JaSs--]

The man, the myth, the legend, I heard you had a lawsuit against you. What happened?

[@kriscontinuum3267]

Whenever I get pissed or anxious about something in my life I just say to myself "You chose this." It's a blunt way of making myself accountable, but it also forces me to remember the reasons for my choices, and they ain't all bad when I take the time to remember. Sometimes moving forward hurts and feels like going backwards. Just try to learn from your choices and keep progressing.

[@laura.r.1693]

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

[@EA-ck4so]

Thank you

[@LivingDead53]

I'm kind of like that. I know the fault is the butterfly effect for me. The problems exists and is on my lap, so I have to deal with it.. Yes, many people have caused me serious problems. I have no power. I focus on the wrong thing. If I attack someone above me, even though they did it to me, I will have a lot more issues. I've been crushed so many times. Therefore, I hide from most humans. Nasty little creatures. The first time they tried to kill me in Virginia, the doctor said, "I don't even see them as humans." We can here them. I totally agree. Square time for all the disabled and elderly. And this is why disabled people like me exist. They make eugenics political and it fails to do its job. Pluck one or two at random. Your kid couldn't be disabled or average, however. He is on the autism spectrum and interacts in ways we don't understand. The autistic person proceeds to slobber all over his shirt. I'm sure.

[@MsTintin94]

Definitely going to try out your method.

[@hoimyrgames4442]

That's not always the case thought, sometimes you sacrifice something in order to make a person you like (family, loved ones) happy and comfortable.

[@jeffreydorman8715]

Wow, Mark Manson, you've really opened my eyes to the bad habits I've formed over the years that have been keeping me miserable. I feel even more miserable now than I did before I watched this video. I blame you for making me see the truth about myself!

[@aneeshthesia]

@0:44 I absolutely adore how Mark effortlessly channels his inner thespian in his videos. It's completely superfluous, yet undeniably priceless. Mark proves that a touch of theatricality is totally worth it!

[@Michal.Sadowski]

The concept of the video. The delivery. The editing. The Mozart in the background. An absolute perfection Mark.

[@relicofgold]

Not Mozart. Erik Satie.

[@ko7975]

Gymnopedes

[@aaperry1]

Satie (Gymnopedies), Mozart (Requiem Mass), Beethoven (“Pathetique” Sonata)

[@franciscagomes8954]

Gnossienne n1 by Satie, means "know yourself" beautiful piece, wonderful choice for the video

[@raffitchakerian3252]

Damn, this one hit me hard and deep. I'm not one to complain or blame others for my problems, but I've been avoiding doing anything challenging or uncomfortable for the longest time, and I just hate myself for not taking any risks in life. I know change isn't impossible, but some days just feel more hopeless than others.

[@LastbutNotFirst]

all ive done in my life is swing for the fences. struck out hundreds of times. but once you knock one out of the park. things change. most of my friends never took those risks, and they went the solid straight paths.. they gained nice things, houses. but to be honest; they are all pretty miserable because they never took risk.

[@shreyatulsyan1812]

I also for the longest time in my life doing nothing till now where shall I start I don't know

[@cheekyphuzz_thegod8558]

I feel for you man, I really do. I've felt exactly the way you do a tremendous amount of times. I still acknowledge that my life is difficult to steer, especially with friends & family on my ass about everything. It's nice to have people who love & care about you, but sometimes you just gotta tune the whole world out. We're all, including myself, attached to our devices and wear our consumption as a badge of honor. Somebody is always going to criticize you, and someone is always going to have more & do more than you ever will. The opposite of everything in that last sentence is also true, but we truly need to think for ourselves and just turn everything off for at least a couple hours once in a while. It's hard, life's a bitch, but trust me when I say there's always someone else who knows exactly what you're going through whether you realize it or not. Stay up dude, don't smoke crack and don't eat McDonalds, lol. Peace

[@LastbutNotFirst]

@@cheekyphuzz_thegod8558 some of us dont have family. my family were the ones that made things worse. my life got better when i disowned everyone.

[@cheekyphuzz_thegod8558]

@@LastbutNotFirst Fair enough. In fact, I totally understand. I stopped talking to my father, along with everyone from my maternal family because they’re all fucking assholes. You can’t stay close to people who don’t lift you up

[@Lichfeldian--Suttonian]

It was my late cousin that introduced me to _The Subtle Art of Not giving a F*ck._ I have since read your other book, _Everything is F*cked._ You are such a great source of entertainment and ‘straight-to-the-point’ attitude that just makes me laugh out loud! Magnificent thanks. ❤

[@Rick_Cavallaro]

I've been somewhat to moderately miserable for years. But I feel like I've plateaued. I haven't been able to break through to the elusive "max misery" that you speak of. But thanks to this video, I have renewed hope (and by that I mean hopelessness) that I now have the tools to get there! Thank you Mark! And by that I mean "screw you for being directly responsible for making my life miserable".

[@faustinreeder1075]

I’ve been in a “f*ck it all” mood for thirty five years.

[@zoeh1964]

Started reading his blog about a decade ago and what a treat to now being able to see the face and personality of the man behind those super deep yet funny and entertaining articles and books ❤

[@Cobalt985]

I'm on board with 90% of this but it's absolutely ridiculous to imply that saying anything about the extreme problems we're facing in the world is paramount to blaming everybody else for your problems and should never be done. Sometimes things literally are not your fault. There are many systems in place that put people at different levels of advantage and disadvantage to others, and these systems affect you whether you like it or not. Please consider your place in these systems and how it might colour your view on this issue.

[@Liz-ru2io]

completely agree.

[@jarkkojukkola9790]

Society is created by humans so why not to hate others at the times. I'm different than many more are in my opinion. I would want to be social or spontanious but I'm so afraid of what I could get in response from others. I've got shield around me and I'm usually aggressive or passively aggressive. I hate to being one with others all with the same boat, all molded to do same habits. Being happy when it's holiday and then everyone stressing about working etc. My life is boring sorry.

[@geometerfpv2804]

What's the point of "considering your place" in these "systems"? Our human systems are all terribly imperfect. It doesn't really help to pick out all the particular ways in which they've hurt us, it's a waste of intellectual energy, and it just gives us an excuse to fail. The point is to spend your energy finding your way *around* those obstacles, not figuring out whether they are, or are not fair. What difference does it make? An obstacle is an obstacle. Maybe it is unfairly in your way because of your race or something. It's still there! You still have to deal with it, or give up. People have made a science out of explaining why they can't be happy and live the way they want. It's a stupid science. Make a science out of overcoming obstacles, and you won't have any need for this stupid science. Really, what is the benefit of this pointing out and systematically accounting for inequities? It certainly doesn't stop society from behaving the way it does, the only people who will care to listen to your analysis are people who already agree with you and are into the same analysis process. The people that I imagine you think constitute the "problem" will never take your analysis into account. So what's the point? It's a distraction. I am a mathematician. We have some "union centric" folks who are always doing activism and trying to make the math world equitable and so on. They never get positions as professors, and after grad school, they go work some job in industry, stop doing math, and no difference is made. Every ounce of energy they spent on activism, I have spent perfecting my mathematics. Ironically, when I do actually get a position as a professor, I will be in a REAL position to change some of the things they felt were unfair, so in a sense, I will have achieved their own goal more successfully than they had. Don't you see?

[@alexandercrescent7320]

You just described a big part of my life. I felt a huge weight just lifted off me after watching. The truth does set one free.

[@Rambleon444]

Number 10, Never appreciate or be grateful, always believe you didn't receive enough and others owe you so much more. This way friends and family will quickly learn you don't appreciate any efforts to help you, so they won't.

[@inconnu4961]

This is great! but i would revise the list and slide it in between #5 & #6. Well done, loser!

[@jerrys1]

Good one

[@parshantrehal2561]

You're helping the world, one video at a time.

[@proudmonkey60]

It's like a love death and robots, or a star wars visions episode. A 10 minute video full of quality, and humor amd sarcasm, and education, and insight about life. God, I'm guilty on some of those steps, but as they say we're all a working progress.. Thank you for this sir. You're one hell of a human being.

[@CeliaYourRelationshipGuru]

Great video! Taking no responsibility and then blaming others and staying in victim mode. We all get our 'moments' but it's when we are stuck in that negative mindset that we just keep spiralling downwards and repeating the same patterns of behaviour over and over again...

[@nerd26373]

I've gone though a similar phase before. Doing a bit better now, but I still have my own share of struggles to overcome. Thanks for this video. It really helps us out a lot.

[@mxtafsa]

keep doing the hard work even when you don’t feel like it and I can guarantee things will get better!

[@inconnu4961]

Remember: its not your fault! You are innocent!

[@sempopo]

Proud of you, budd! Keep working hard..🔥

[@martin-fc4kk]

@@inconnu4961 😆

[@Swindo2]

Thank you Mark. I used to be so happy with my life. I woke up everyday with a fresh set of eyes and was always driven to grow as a person. After watching this video, I learned how to be miserable each and every day. I was able to completely lose all confidence in myself and I'm now in the process of seeking a partner that will accept me exactly the way I am so that I will never have to face the challenge of developing character. I owe you nothing because I don't owe anyone anything. Thanks again.

[@igorortega6494]

found this channel today, watched some videos as i was chilling after studying, probably one of the only down to earth talks i ever saw. No coach b.s.

[@BOOMbear214]

I'd say I'm in an incredibly happy stage in my life. I can't wait to start my new miserable chapter. Thank you for the tips!!

[@hasamahikaru]

I read your book when I was 18. I'm now (still) 23 and boy, LIFE IS GOOD cause I didn't do even half of the list 😂I'm thankful for reading it as soon as possible before going to the real world

[@wiwisjxkalnz]

I read a bunch of self books since i was 15 and I'm 22 now I'll stop this shit fr

[@upvotecomment2110]

1. Always Blame someone or something else for your problems 2. Complain Constantly 3. Avoid anything remotely uncomfortable 4. Wait for someone else to come to fix all your problems 5. Get extremely Angry when that person doesn't fix your life's problems 6. Become obsessed with what other people think about you 7. Validate all of your thoughts and ideas on social media 8. Numb yourself (Cheap Dopamine) 9. Believe that change is Impossible

[@Rambleon444]

The recipe for being woke.

[@inconnu4961]

@@Rambleon444 Thinking the same thing!

[@teacherfromthejungles6671]

10. Spoil the videos in the comments.

[@imhumors]

@@teacherfromthejungles6671 lol

[@playmobilegamescodm]

well 1st point was correct but he showed in a wrong light. Those who protest on the roads in the heat of summer or cold of winter are doing really hard job. We need to protest if we want to protect democracy. Protesting involves getting out of comfort zone and also risk of 🔫💥

[@souleyes7467]

You don't know how much I needed to hear this. I've been to such a low point of being and staying miserable. But you've said all this with humour and with so many rights points that it actually makes me want to slap myself in the face, saying "stop acting the victim and just freaking make something happen in your life"

[@cjlane4161]

Continue with experiments and pushing forward with trying new things. It never hurts to fail here and there. Just remember you can’t please everyone. I want to tell you that with the way you put out this information in a comedic form but yet still being honest and informative. Keep up the good work!!

[@MAVEEYT-uw2yd]

This reminds me of the better ideas video "how to ruin your life" honesty your ideas and values are very inspirational, thank you very much.

[@TheRealKaYnE]

*Reads Title* Nah, I've already got that covered.

[@mxtafsa]

😂😂😂

[@ombhojwani]

This guy made me laugh & simultaneously made me realise how much miserable i actually am. 😂

[@Oliyox]

Im glad we made it! Damn that took a lot of effort to sit through without more distractions, time to go on TikTok and then smoke pot and go to sleep and then slump my way to work tommorrow, keep it up guys!

[@LucasFroitzheim]

What a humorous and sarcastic way to criticise and point out unpurposeful/toxic behaviour and character traits. I LOVE IT

[@Plebeian398]

I can honestly say that from a young age I’ve learned that holding yourself accountable is a God send. It’s also empowering to know that although external forces make life difficult that it’s really up to you to make your life better.

[@Azurethewolf168]

When I’m under stress it’s hard for me to accept I did a mistake that led to the current situation, I’m not sure how to really fix that. There’s a ton of stuff going on in my life at once that it feels there’s no time to slow down.

[@sararatliff7707]

All for personal accountability...but can we all agree that the current state of the world makes it really fucking difficult to survive let alone thrive and be fulfilled? I mean, we got climate change, we got a housing crisis, inflation, corporate greed, corrupt government officials who spit in the face of the everyday person who just wants a break. I'm in a job I love but I'll only ever get paid enough to live paycheck to paycheck. I'll never afford to retire. Forgive those of us who are frustrated when we work our asses off and someone else profits off our work. It's really discouraging out here.

[@Azurethewolf168]

@@sararatliff7707 yeah it makes sense why a lot of people just give up or don’t feel like trying anymore, if the everything in the world is going down rapidly why would you not?

[@TheSwauzz]

@@sararatliff7707 It's just an excuse at the end of the day. People living through wars and worse depressions managed to survive, stay positive and be grateful for the little things. Find things to be grateful for or continue using what's happening around you to justify being miserable and angry. Better yet, take control of your life and get a different job. Seems like you missed the point of the video.

[@sararatliff7707]

@@TheSwauzz I respectfully disagree. Should people put in the effort to achieve their goals? Of course. You're not going to get the job if you never submit the application. Let's just admit a few things. First, it's not as easy as some motivational speakers make it sound. It takes a lot of energy and focus. It also may take a very long time depending on a lot of factors in your life like health, where you live, if you had access to education, and other things. Also, the playing field is not level. Some people come from money, others were raised in poverty. Some people are super smart but are unconnected. Some people have severe mental or physical health challenges. Everyone is dealing with a different level of crap. We can't lump all people together and say we all have an equal shot. Some people have a lot more challenges to overcome than others, and I just want that to be acknowledged. Also, my current job is my dream job. I get to make art for a living, and would never give it up. Another also, hustle culture is a lie. Even if your dream is beautiful, don't destroy your health or sanity or family or friendships for it. Do the thing you love and work to better yourself, but get some damn sleep, because otherwise you can't function.

[@mairapl]

Looooved it!! Loved the pick of the classical music on the backround and the humor ahhh such a good combo to pass on this important message

[@user-zn2bl4xr5l]

Life isn’t really about being happy. Unfortunately, doing the opposite of the points in the video doesn’t guarantee happiness.

[@reneezmp]

It’s sad to admit I’ve been trapped in some parts of this cycle for a while. Despite all my efforts for reading books, journaling, trying to create deeper connections, working out daily, finding new interests and applying my time into things that might develop me…. I still feel kind of miserable just like the hypothetical person in this video. I’ve just chosen to keep quiet…. I hope one day the internal side decides to catch up with what I’be been doing to get better. In the mean time, it’s just sad and rather frustrating.

[@inconnu4961]

What will make you happy? do you know? hard to know how to get somewhere if you dont even know where you are going! You got limited tim & money to go to one vacation spot! figure out where you REALLY, REALLY want to go! then the other stuff will work

[@schopenhauerist]

I think that the purpose of life wouldn't be happiness. Because structure of life isn't suitable for human's demands. We may accept our limits and submit our will to the 'fate'. The video just pumping American dream that is of course illusion

[@jameshanna8762]

@renée zmp Have you heard the term 'leap of faith'? I was in your position. I was doing things, traveling, working, exercising, reading... but I still felt hollow and without purpose. I honestly felt afraid that something bad was going to happen every waking moment, even though I was "taking all the right steps" that should lead to happiness. It was slow misery with no clear path forward. Long story short, I accidentally went to Airborne School. I was terrified. I was not prepared, but I struggled through because coming home without the wings was not an option. When we got to jump week and it came time to exit the plane, I simply accepted my death. I really thought I was about to die. But I didn't die. Every time we jumped that week, I had to accept my death in order to bring myself to step out that door. When I got back to my duty station, I realized that everything was wonderful now. The sky was bluer, food tasted better, I enjoyed being with other people, I wasn't afraid anymore, and life seemed full of promise. It was such a shocking change, that I had trouble pinning down what had changed. Then I realized that the only thing that had changed was that I had accepted my mortality and faced my death. I was no longer a prisoner of fear. That change in perspective has lasted 30 years, so far. So, I recommend taking a skydiving adventure. It will change your life. glhf

[@sp123]

Self-improvement is meant to raise your floor, not increase your ceiling. Maybe some of the things you want to accomplish simply aren't possible in your lifetime and that's why your subconscious is upset. There isn't any real answer to these types of issues, you just learn to live with it over time.

[@stephb3791]

I didn't want to watch this because I knew I would see myself, so I did watch it, and I definitely did. Every single bullet point hit home. The one sentence that stuck is that I'm the only one who can fix myself. Thanks Mark for delivering that in a way that made me laugh but also made me want to act.

[@htchamber2776]

Life doesn’t get better dude this is all cope

[@stephb3791]

@@htchamber2776I definitely agree with that statement

[@relicofgold]

Truly? I wish you the best of luck.

[@stephb3791]

@@relicofgold thanks 😊

[@gyrozeppeli7296]

Hey, you atleast fought one point of avoiding uncomfortable things just by watching this

[@mattorama]

Alright, taking responsibility is important, but there ARE a lot of problems caused by government. I didn't cause inflation, housing shortages and the cost of living to spike.

[@theintrovertedaspie9095]

Responsibly isnt nessesarily anything to do with fault.

[@jameydunne3920]

I watched my wife survive a near death brain bleed and then decide to restart improving her life. I think the only think harder than sucking your life to the ninth level of functioning misery is realizing the suck is you and your micro choices, acknowledging it, and then claiming your life from the suckage it has become. Mega kudos to all who are or have done this, and many prayers and courage to those considering it. You are worth more than your missery. The rest of the world misses the best version of you.

[@konradnoises]

The problem with this video is that is absolutely on point. meaning I can't send it to all of my friends who need to hear it, because they would feel attacked.

[@inconnu4961]

LOL if we dont ALL feel attacked in some way, chances are the volume was off or we just slept through it!

[@exnihilonihilfit6316]

Send it.

[@Oli_Mili]

maybe they need to be attacked

[@ravenmeyer3740]

I think even those that are motivated are sometimes on the downside. At times we’re just tired. So, just go with it.

[@bolobolobilabila6036]

Its their fault LOL...

[@Bruce-Gisbon]

I am guilty of living this way for too long. Still some things I do now but much less than most of my life. This video helped me see my progress and also areas that still need attention. I’m getting better and that’s a big relief to say. Living in reality and being accountable to myself has been only way forward. This video came at just the right time for me. I’m 34 and have been getting really honest about myself the last 4 years. It takes time but life is way better now. Man I’m pumped about this video! Thanks Mark! P.S. - having a therapist that calls me on my shit has been a game changer. I used to just bitch and moan then let them tell me I’m right. Fuck that. My guy I see now is awesome and will tell me what I need to hear and not what I want to hear. I suggest doing the same if you want to change for the better.

[@iamgoo]

It's always nice to have people call you out on your BS. If no one else will you need to attempt to call your own self out

[@taylorfausett177]

So happy for your progress. And I would add that being honest with yourself and judging yourself are two completely different things. Most people are afraid to take an honest assessment of themselves because if they admitted what their weaknesses are, that would MEAN that they are bad people. When you take away judgement of yourself, you can be free to see what you do that hurts you as well as what you are doing right. If we look at ourselves as humans doing what humans do, we can escape from the veil of fear and take an honest look at ourselves and have some choice about how we respond in the future. ❤

[@James-if3kc]

My old therapist rejected me and I have no way of getting a new one.

[@g.lether7973]

I did all of these at one point but I think I’ve been done with this mindset for some time (except numbing myself I fkn love me a joint or two with friends on the weekend) Great video as always, Mark. You are a modern day Marcus Aurelius.

[@SonnyCourt]

Masterpiece !

[@ivartheboneless8613]

I gotta say, this video got to me at the right time. I was going down this shithole real fast. Thanks Mark, it really helped.👍

[@abhinav.pandey19]

Nothing like personally getting b*tchslapped by the man himself. Thanks, Mark!

[@milesfann33]

I blame this video for all of my problems. Thanks a lot Mark!

[@manuelrocha9477]

Hillarious yet extremely wise, at some points in my life I have done some of the things you describe here, and, yes, shame on me for watching your video (more because of curiosity though) yet I am not sorry, your video has brought a breath of fresh air on human nature focused on the wrong way but showing also the right way, blessings to you Mark, keep up the good work.

[@bobblesV4.0]

Mark manson has hugely increased my recovery...and his books etc , in turn, have helped me to do my job better (recovery resilience). Love it. 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻💪🏻😎

[@MoonlightStarglow]

I laughed out loud several times! Loved this!🤣

[@rambam77]

Another solid banger - keeps knocking out the hits

[@DrumandbassNL]

🤣😂 your content is so good, really love the added images and video clips as well! Thank you and keep going 🙂

[@projectstoicism]

my boy Jack Denmo says I should become obsessed with Mark Manson. I'm blaming him for me being here. Great vid Mark

[@AkiyuriDesu]

Reprogramming ourselves takes time, but for any of my fellow miserable people out there, one step at a time!

[@theorangeoof926]

I’m glad on the right track! Thanks man!

[@truebeliever9474]

I absolutely enjoyed this video. It perfectly describes a coworker of mine who loves to blame everyone including me for every he deems negative in his life. I sent this for him to watch. He'll find something negative, call me & blame for for something the video said or something i am sure...😅 Thanks for sharing!

[@jsblastoff]

Nailed it! I know all these insights yet like a rollercoaster I find my self guilty to often. Appreciate the reminder

[@idris1987.]

That was a masterpiece! I'm so glad that I have someone like you to listen to. Thank you for everything.

[@podjekannnij]

Top notch content. Thank you for spitting out the hard truths!

[@pia192]

Best video ever. What a great way to make your point and help people stop and think. Love your attitude.

[@TheEsteban1979]

Love your work Mark! I was once everything you described 😂 Thank God not there anymore after a lot of work and doing things that were painful but necessary like quitting alcohol and learning to be a better person altogether. The power of good habits! Thanks you for the entertainment and education!!

[@bhardwajp1488]

This man deserves every bit of endearment and applause. Great Content.The most needed reality check that the world needs right now.Respect 🙌🏾🙏

[@him5698]

This video is genius in hilarity, yet pushes insight forward. People need to start looking inward and realize that they are capable of change in the midst of bad times. In the end, the only one who can change you, is yourself.

[@NediSafa]

Excellent choice of music, Mark, and one of my favorite pieces to play.

[@mariolongtin8271]

You're truly one of the great ones out here, making the world a better place!

[@GameRunner2049]

I'm on the second last step ! Happy misery to all the miserables

[@alwayssearching1882]

I am so glad II found this channel on my journey to recovery.

[@Flowerstokitty]

The fact that I have never seen this channel before and not only was it recommended to me by the algorithm, but resonated with me, I really gotta figure my shit out. I don’t know where to go from here.

[@freddiecawston2892]

This is just the guide I needed! My life was going way too well and I needed this kick in the ass to finally start losing again :)

[@iiCounted-op5jx]

😂😂

[@djackson4605]

I really like the style that Mark is presenting things in. Heavy on satire but still obvious. I still think many will fall into the trap of most of this list, but many of us will remember this and jolt ourselves out of that pathetic victim-mentality. This whole list is what perpetual babies/victims do, and we need to highlight that so they wake up and fix themselves.

[@canadiansoviet]

Excellent! I found the correct video. Now, I can start to focus on ruining my life properly.

[@iternai3872]

1. What if your problems are really caused by someone else (bad parenting, neglect)? 3. What to do if I'm naturally a very anxious person that makes doing uncomfortable things even harder? 6. How to stop being so sensitive?

[@gospoa5533]

I was abused from all sides during my upbringing... But I still don't think my problems were caused by that, but rather by my way of looking at things. I have been diagnosed with an incurable disease that leads to blindness. But I know that if there hadn't been abuse in my youth, I probably wouldn't have had the wisdom and strength to overcome that situation. I have learned to draw a lesson from everything. I have anxiety. Anxiety is caused by too much self-focus. It's easier when you focus your attention on the external world, and you need to practice it systematically. It is often a part of a sensitive character, but it can be controlled by being aware of triggers. I am also very sensitive. This is not a weakness, but a strength. It means that you notice other people's emotions and with a little practice, you can get the best out of every communication and understand everyone's needs. It means having empathy and being a great driver of positive change

[@nofme]

The only moment you ever experience is Now. That means YOU are re-creating, in each moment, the illusion that your problems are out of your hands, for they are caused in the "past". Since you can't look back 2,000 years and tell me what was going on where you're sitting right now, that means you are simply telling yourself a *story*. I'm not saying you're delusional, but recognize that you have the power to tell yourself a new story, because ALL YOUR POWER IS ALWAYS EVER RIGHT NOW, IN THE PRESENT. You must ask yourself "what would I have to believe to feel this way about that", then "what would I have to believe to believe *that*" until you find the root belief that's causing you discomfort. Once you hold it up to the light, it INSTANTLY loses all power over you, because when held in the light, It looks ridiculous. You might have some core belief that you are somehow unworthy of being treated well. Is that what you believe about anyone else? No? Then I submit to you that it is even more silly because it's a form of arrogance. That you're so special and unique that ONLY YOU don't deserve to be loved and happy and abundant. You are carrying other people's baggage that DOES. NOT. BELONG. TO. YOU. your own bags weigh NOTHING. if you feel dragged down, recognize that those bags belong to the people who hurt you, and let. them. go. again, your power is always NOW. there's nothing out of reach in the past. be aware, too, that negative beliefs will do EVERYTHING they can to convince you not to let them go. they play a trick: they convince you they're protecting you from something. hold those beliefs up to the light. pat them on the head and say you did your job, thank you. this belief no longer serves me though, so run along.

[@tiowoti9700]

1. It usually isn't. Bad parenting, neglect, etc. may EXPLAIN and they're helpful when you're analizing your bad behaviour and trying to actually fix it, but frankly, if you're an asshole now, it's your fault. For example, an usual symptom of people who've been through abuse is having problem managing your emotions. You can't help feeling a burst of anger, but it is YOUR job to manage that anger in healthy ways, ways that won't make you yell at your friend because the cofee they gave you was slightly cold. Remember, the mindset that you have is not your fault, not doing shit about it is your fault. If you do something wrong, it's on you, reflect on why you did it and try to make up for your mistakes, get to the root of the problem and learn how to not get to that point again. 3. That's true for a lot of disorders, but you still need to get shit done, I'd search for things like "studying/working/task managing methods for tdah people" and such. You'll be very anxious while doing this because you might feel like you're wasting time, but it's actually very helpful for anyone who deals with strong feelings, even if you dont actually have tdah. 6. Idk dude, Id say therapy but that's not an option for a lot of people, so depending on what you mean by sensitive, try to cry your heart out at what you feel is shit about your life like, get it out of your system and then, when you cant cry anymore, take a step back and try to think critically about it. Like, you could also take a notebook and write things that made you very sad/anger/[insert strong emotion] for no particular reason and, while reflecting on your past behaviour, you'll probably start to see a pattern. Sorry for my shitty english btw, hope you start working on whatever you have going on with you and start taking care of both your mental and physical health while also learning to avoing being an ass to others, self-growth is tough but life gets better👍

[@marxk4rl]

1. He's talking about blaming, not about problems. Blaming means you do nothing but whining about others. If you have problems, solve them. If you can't, move on. 2. If you are anxious, simple: stop giving a fck. Repeat after me: I DON'T GIVE A FCK. Say it again. Louder. Again. Still anxious? Come on man, why do you give a fck when there's no fck to be given? Go to a gym or something and work out until you stop giving a fck about anything.

[@sanny8716]

There's no way ALL your problems are caused by somebody, and there's no way there's nothing you can do about them. Take your life in your own hands. You're your own person. You may be anxious, but you're still strong enough to strive despite it. There's different kinds of strengths, you just need to find your own. I mean, you got to this point somehow. Maybe you don't need to be less sensitive, maybe you just need to change your perspective and learn to use your senses in a positive way. I know it's easier to say all this things, and just hearing it won't magically help you, but just try to start doing something one step at the time. Take it at your own pace, you don't have to (and probably can't) turn your life 180 in one day, change takes time. You can do it. Believe in yourself.

[@g1uh4]

Found your channel recently because of your book. Your content is next level. Humor combined with the harsh truth is what we need.

[@michaelotto8696]

Misery and happiness are choices. I may not always be the happiest camper on the planet but I'll even lie about being happy because I refuse to be miserable. That's just too easy. Besides, there's plenty of folks that love to occupy all that miserable space. Thanks for more great content on the human condition Mark!

[@justtalk5970]

Man, I needed this. Thank you!

[@nathansmith8187]

I needed this. It's been one of those days.

[@JimmyJaxJellyStax]

I was doing 50-60 hours of corporate the past 2 years and recently moved into part time flexible online management and web development for 2 different businesses instead - the time has improved my sleep and exercise routines dramatically. Our time and daily routines are absolutely huge in our wellbeing when engaged properly - every morning should involve motion because most of our brain is designed for physical activity and thinks most effectively when essentially "warmed up" - even with a simple 20 min morning walk. The main reason I moved on was the lack of schedule for physical activity (evening winding down and sleep needing to take precedence for sure) and mental drain that really did hinder the willpower for life balance. If you're unemployed and depressed about everything, start doing daily outdoor (or indoor treadmill, etc) motions out of pure faith - morning walks totally in contradiction to the mind saying it shouldn't or can't walk - faith in it anyways to allow that mental gravity to shift. It's extremely common to confuse the "self" with the "situation" surrounding the self. The current stagnating situation is the real problem and it's a gradual daily process of carving it into something lively. Some brave changes too - the most toxic things only being settled with in avoidance, etc - those daily motions will bring clarity to this bravery. For depression, I feel like walking is number one for sure, then exploring some weights to hit those deeper spots of confidence, focus, feeling, imbalance, etc. Eventually a jog or run will naturally become tempting. Finish the workout and it's spiritual, start to feel the very young energy again.

[@GraphicDesignations]

This was a valuable Contribution to the video. 😊👍

[@FreshPresh8888]

I feel like this video along with this comment are what I needed to hear to get out of this rut I’m in. Thank you so much.

[@junkjunk2493]

... i gonna try again , 65yrs old , still struggling

[@thevegastan]

This whole video feels like it's speaking to my dad, whom I've given up on changing. It's depressing yet liberating at the same time.

[@roadzshow]

You can’t change anyone. Do you know that right?

[@thecubanbear5840]

Geez dude. I started exercising and will be seeing a therapist in June, but I've been or maybe still am around like 7 of these. Ouch. I'll do my best to make it better, but I'm scared. Thank you for the video.

[@maartenc7769]

Wow.This is so refreshing. Who knew this would be so easy.

[@kingnick3088]

This is some top level comedy mixed with philosophy and motivation... this video has to go viral

[@onionlayersed]

The disappointment panda, just what I needed for the day. Thank you for telling me what I needed, not what I wanted.❤

[@MrJohn1861]

Fantastic video, content spot on! Had me in stitch! It's a shame that the number of people with this type of mindset seems to be increasing!

[@Ragnarrage]

Wow, this this was just the thing I need. I love this strategy! :)

[@okay3506]

Here is the summary 1 blaming others for ur problems 2 constant complaining 3 live in the comfort zone 4 wait for a Savior 5 develop resentment 6 obsess over your self image 7 validate your problem in social media 8 numb yourself 9 never believe in change

[@KnotsUntied]

Thank you for these vital resources to add to my narcissistic, self-aggrandizing, victimhood toolbox (even though I knew about them already and could’ve done this video better myself if the opportunity ever presented itself). 😬

[@KnotsUntied]

Best reply ever! 👍

[@bolobolobilabila6036]

Yup. Mark's fault!

[@Laughingman1993]

Thank you! I thought i already had some really good misery going on in my life, but you showed me i was wasting a lot of potential to feel even more miserable!

[@grpm1lk]

Very helpful! Thanks mark

[@AmirHaralMusic]

He knows how to deliver 😂😂 favourite author ever ❤️

[@HeatherRuffniteowl]

I love this so freaking much! It’s sad I know people like this. ❤❤❤you’re awesome

[@jbmpixel]

I F***g love this guy. I am really grateful that David Tian mention you. SUBSCRIBED !

[@alexxx4434]

From one extreme to another: From putting all blame on others to putting all blame on the individual.

[@MissLida]

I agree it could use a little more work on that part. I doubt he means it that way.

[@Just_B0red]

Gaslighting 101