How To Deal With Arrogant People in Cyber Security

Intellectual arrogance is a common theme you’ll often encounter in tech and cyber security. If you’ve ever had an idea abruptly dismissed or been roped into a technical argument, you’ve probably experienced intellectual arrogance. Let’s face it: these experiences are quite unpleasant.
In domains dominated by physical prowess, it’s common to see displays of hubris and “one-upping” opponents at every turn. In an economy where mental prowess is king, technical arrogance comes in the form of knowledge flexes. Whether it’s people bragging about their credentials or telling you your method isn’t the best, intellectual arrogance arises in many ways in cyber security. So why is that?
Three primary sources for intellectual arrogance in cyber security are:
Competitive Personalities
Poor People Skills
Cognitive Bias
To start, naturally competitive people tend to compare themselves with peers. In everything, they’ll strive to outperform others. Success is the mother of hubris after all, so it’s easy for these people to end up thinking they are the smartest person in the room. Every meeting with new people is an opportunity to size them up and down. Are they inferior? Ignore them. Are they superior? Snipe and challenge them. About the same? Put them in their place.
Poor people skills are another reason why people may appear arrogant in cyber security. A lot of people in this field over-develop their cognitive abilities at the expense of their social skills. This may exhibit itself as appearing self-centered and dismissive of the group as a whole. They’ll see efforts to promote social harmony among people as wastes of time. Their personal interests and points-of-view are far more logical and important.
The third reason for arrogance in cyber security is cognitive bias. Humans enjoy feeling sure about matters, since our brains produce dopamine to confirm suspicions. Unsure feelings are uncomfortable, and we try to resolve them quickly. This can lead us to make assumptions, jump to conclusions, and become entrenched in certain ideas and prior beliefs, when they’re inaccurate. Quite simply, it’s an illusion of knowing things. This illusion can turn the kindest people in the most arrogant and abrasive individuals out there.
Pride is a natural part of human nature that drives us towards achievement and success. But they can also make teamwork and collaboration quite difficult in cyber security. You end up spending more time managing and solving personality issues and less time on technical problems.
Fortunately, there’s techniques out there for dealing with arrogance quite similar to dealing with people in general. First, avoid arguments and debates in general, since they aren’t constructive towards building a relationship. Become genuinely interested and curious in what the other person is saying and advertising. People will gladly tell you about what they know for hours and, in the process, come to like you. For those who are fiercely competitive, try to differentiate yourself by developing in a skillset or area of expertise they aren’t strong in.
Dealing with arrogance in tech and cyber security starts with changing yourself. Highly recommend grabbing a copy of “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. It’s full of actionable advice.
00:00 Introduction - Arrogance in Cyber Security
00:41 Common Types of Arrogance in Cyber Security
02:31 Why Self-Perceived Skills Increase Your Arrogance
04:06 Arrogance and Ego for Competitive Personalities
05:51 How Lack of People Skills Contributes to Arrogance
07:44 Certainty Bias and the Illusion of Knowledge
10:00 How To Deal with Intellectually Arrogant People
11:43 Interpersonal Tips for Cyber Security Professionals
---- Resources ----
Certainty Bias:
www.scientificamerican.com/ar...
Blue Ocean Strategy
www.blueoceanstrategy.com/wha...
How to Win Friends and Influence People (Dale Carnegie)
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_...
Books on EQ (Daniel Goleman)
www.amazon.com/Daniel-Goleman...
On Being Certain (Robert Burton)
www.amazon.com/Being-Certain-...
Globbing v. Regular Expressions
www.linuxjournal.com/content/...
#Arrogance #IntellectualArrogance #Cyberspatial

[@Cyberspatial]

How do YOU deal with arrogance & elitism?

[@dianpratama2003]

Ignore them? 🤔

[@pratibhasawant5427]

Listen them, find their weaknesses and come back stronger with your action,not by arguing.

[@seanbates1767]

I like to ask arrogant and elitist individuals, who I happen to personally encounter...curious, when was the last time you walked on the moon, or developed a life saving vaccine, or a radical cure for cancer, developed a new form of artificial intelligence, or industry changing programming language, etc...that tends to shut them down rather quickly. It's been my experience, the truly brilliant and insightful tend to be the most humble and introspective...they know what they know, and are humble enough to completely embrace what they don't. They also tend to be very good listeners. Quite interesting being in a setting with type A's...most of the time not much is learned/accomplished due to there being so much noise. To this day I fight the urge to jump into the fray, rather than listening, observing, and learning. Emotional and ego discipline is tough to maintain, well at least for me, but it can be so much more fruitful and edifying.

[@zuberkariye2299]

Walk away and ignore them!

[@pentiumou8993]

@@seanbates1767 so true...

[@DanielLuechtefeld]

This is one of the best IT career management videos I've ever seen. The takeaway: Don't Be That Guy. I was that guy in high school; I would flex my intellectual capabilities constantly and very visibly. I was HATED, and with good reason. Now, I find every reason to say "I don't know", and ask questions to allow others an opportunity to be in the spotlight. I am both a lot more popular and a lot more effective. The US Army formally made humility one of its core leadership values last year; I wish humility had been inculcated in me as a youth.

[@Cyberspatial]

Wow, thanks for sharing! I think everyone goes through a period of life like that. At the end of the day maturity has a lot to do with it. One of the best phrases that you touched upon: "I don't know, what do you think?" is so powerful and underrated.

[@dip9995]

@@Cyberspatial don’t you think the “what do you think?” part could be ineffective if the person you’re speaking with isn’t sure? Just thinking that making someone confess they don’t know will make them feel bad

[@tian1332]

This ain't even a cybersecurity channel anymore it's a life channel useing cyber as a medium gj

[@Cyberspatial]

It's all interrelated!

[@thomasl.6817]

Generally, when I deal with someone arrogant that I would call an asshole, I try to take distance and tell myself that I am someone else's asshole. It generally helps me to get more tolerant and lower down my own ego. Easier said than done though

[@Cyberspatial]

Always easier said than done, thanks for sharing!

[@krisla3142]

Intellectual arrogance is something I felt while on my learning journey but I’ve never seen someone full on address it. Thank you for saying it out loud and validating that this is a true thing. 😊

[@Cyberspatial]

Something I wish was discussed when I was starting off!

[@zuberkariye2299]

Always recognize people came from different backgrounds! Man I love this, I will take this as a quote! I am the victim cuz I moved to the USA 2017 and sometimes this is how I feel like, and it will discourage and be like I am dumb, I just ignore negative people.

[@Cyberspatial]

Thank you! Just keep going :)

[@s66458---]

Unfortunately in cyber sec egos that are the loudest are often the ones who are given a platform. I have been in the industry a long time now... I am still shocked how some people treat others especially those that they perceive as less than them. Too many times I have walked up to pick up my speaker badge at a conference and I am given the once over like I don't belong. Even had it at one of the largest, if not the largest cyber conference... My point, even when you apparently have "made it" there are still those that will push you down. Maybe because I am not a "bro"... never sure why. I don't wear the right close. Not cute enough. Will never know. All you can do is keep hacking and doing you, eventually some of the work pays off.

[@Cyberspatial]

There's a lot of "protectionism" of the "elite hacker" status. That club's quite tribal and grows/perpetuates itself. Friendliness is a great way to disarm. Thanks for sharing!

[@marcop.525]

@@Cyberspatial that's another theme you can make a video about.

[@Ed-em6mf]

Need a way to remind myself of these things every day :D

[@Cyberspatial]

🙌

[@siddheshghag5889]

Very good explanation on a topic of Arrogance in cybersecurity, really liked thank you for making it.

[@Cyberspatial]

You're welcome!

[@vsulli]

Is it just me or is there a subtle smile when discussing the nuances of these arrogant behaviors? 😜

[@cumalunika1304]

This is possibility the most insightful tech channel on KZbin. Wow.

[@AVERYhornyMrDinosaur]

3:30 i have like 15+ years in a particular field of expertise and can confirm this chart applies to mine as well, and probably just about everything.

[@j.oningo]

The most underrated YT channel of all time. Good work

[@cyber7806]

I like the way you put things in perspective and make a relationship between cyber and human behavior.

[@Cyberspatial]

Thank you :)

[@tahmidamit5578]

I'm loving this channel..Thanks, youtube for recommending. Keep making videos 😁

[@breakthroughtactics6950]

wow! What amazing video quality! And excellent advice in a well-structured format. Thank you for putting so much effort in!

[@Cyberspatial]

Appreciate the kind words :)

[@codyting5900]

I don't think that people who have lots of friends or people who volunteer or socialize a lot arent self absorbed. Sometimes it's those kind of people who are difficult and don't seem to understand others while being shallow and having fun

[@Cyberspatial]

Great point, though you'd wonder what kind of friends someone like that has. kzbin.info/www/bejne/poDcoGmpqrN6odE

[@mikeglenn6461]

Arrogance in Cyber Security could be exploited therefore patching in form of watching this video is highly recommended.

[@Cyberspatial]

😂 see what you did there.

[@tyronekim3506]

Useful words of wisdom. Thanks.

[@taylorgerrish7264]

this is one of the best videos that perfectly explains how i feel about the cyber security field. thank you

[@taylorgerrish7264]

i hope this humbles some people too

[@nexovec]

7:09 I always thought the problem was my inability to socially contextualize my ideas, when in reality it is both true.

[@Cyberspatial]

Sure thing!

[@nexovec]

@@Cyberspatial This was supposed to be a joke, but yeah... fail :D

[@asafnisan]

Guthrie Goven is a guitar god, and he is a paragon of humility. Being a master includes having mastery over your own ego. This principal applies to every field.

[@Cyberspatial]

That's awesome. Thank you for sharing :)

[@garthdalesuazo1077]

I've learned a lot here! Nice explanation.

[@Cyberspatial]

Glad it helped!

[@Totototo-nr8dh]

If you are really good in Cyber, you Doubs of ourself all the time. Because behing sure in cyber is the beginning of failure.

[@Cyberspatial]

Yeah Imposter syndrome is quite normal.

[@Anandroid]

Man I love this channel so much.

[@Cyberspatial]

Thank You!

[@juxdan]

Excellent video! regards from Colombia.

[@TyMac711]

Great video! We need more discussion on this in the industry.

[@robertcrier3551]

I can watch your videos all day long. this one especially made me feel like an asshole, in a good way. I needed that 3rd person perspective. I am gonna show everyone this video, arrogant or not this is good advice.

[@Cyberspatial]

Thank you! The gentle reminder/wink is part of the intent! Really appreciate you sharing our channel :)

[@matteocapodicasa6247]

bro you're doing really good contents. keep it up! congratulations for your channel from Italy

[@Cyberspatial]

Thanks You! Glad to have you here :)

[@kaiosama1237]

There should be a course on this in Universities around the world. It should go hand on hand with Ethics

[@pratibhasawant5427]

Just awesome

[@Cyberspatial]

Thanks!

[@gilcaplan5765]

Wow! So important. Thanks for making this video 🙏

[@Cyberspatial]

For sure!

[@carlos1222]

Arrogance and Ego is everywhere in every place: tech, cybersecurity; barbershops and coffee shops... everywhere.... great video...

[@Cyberspatial]

Absolutely, thank you :)

[@snuffy6449]

I genuinely don't know why someone would choose spaces over tabs though.

[@Efimer]

It took me a good amount of years to understand that proving you're right is useless, instead of solving the situation.

[@lhommeaumasquedefer6920]

Arrogance is a sin, but no one sees it through his blind eyes and heart. Hope that I will be able to understand it.

[@Cyberspatial]

🙌

[@wilwilson8146]

*Learns brand new skill yesterday* "I cant believe you noob peasants dont know what I know.. posers!" 😒

[@begooddogood1933]

From now Our watsapp information is stored in facebook ,Many are telling to delete WATSAPP for better privacy ,should I delete? Please reply....

[@UmehMarisOnyebuchi]

hello ricky, i have a particular problem with my online works. i found out that my phone is hacked and there is an online tracking app attached to every work i do online. this have retarded most of my works. because they use theses apps to manipulate what i do. my online courses,webiners, businesses and others. i thereby installed some anti hacking apps on my phone, it identify some unknown malicious apps like the 'dark'. my questions or request from you is that how much probability can these people be tracked?

[@marcop.525]

This is not for cyber security, this is for all areas

[@zidanetribal2343]

The only dislike that this video got is from that intellectual arrogant who is actually a script kiddie and just either buy or download exploits in the internet hohohoh!

[@Cyberspatial]

There's always someone!

[@zidanetribal2343]

@@Cyberspatial Now there are 3 script kiddies who disliked this video hahaha.

[@PaperRaines]

I interact with allegedly arrogant people very well, probably because I have a bias of relating to them. I don't think I am arrogant, but most people think I am until they get to know me better in time Arrogant people aren't hard to figure out, in my observation it's moreso that most people are adverse to confrontation and pressure. Even on a minor scale of a debate, or being prompted to prove your bona fides at any moment I do not have those aversions, so I usually end up being a kind of bridge between arrogant or difficult individuals at a workplace, or social circle, and others. I speak their language if you will

[@Cyberspatial]

Totally feel you! Aloofness and reservedness are often mistaken for arrogance. Lot of people will default to the "they're arrogant" line of thought to make it easier to fit people in boxes. In the book Radical Candor, the ideal mentality to adopt is a mix of (1) challenging directly and (2) personally caring. Striking the right balance is key.

[@seanbates1767]

Great content. My own experience...I ask individuals, I've met, worked directly with, and/or managed, who flex their knowledge set in a very arrogant fashion, a straight forward question...example: oh, so you are a SME in, say, Linux, hmm...I acknowledge your skillset, but did you create the Linux kernal from scratch? In almost every case the invidividual's facial expression and body language changes to one of...ahhhh...didn't see that coming. That tactic is obviously somewhat confrontational; however, it seems to have a lasting, positive, effect on the individual's attitude.

[@Cyberspatial]

Thanks for sharing! Definitely want to tailor responses to the person.

[@Totototo-nr8dh]

Important to get self control

[@Cyberspatial]

Agreed!

[@thecrownofnoah9100]

Competition will get you no where Cooperation will get you far

[@Cyberspatial]

Collaboration too!

[@thecrownofnoah9100]

@@Cyberspatial yes indeed

[@hamzix6599]

I like the video but I hate it lol because being confident about what you are doing and the decisions you should take in time is a key skill to have. no company likes a hesitant engineer who can't make any decision. if you are "uncertain" of everything how we are supposed to get work done, understand this video, or even live our lives? we should have at least a minimal set of knowledge to be able to continue and make decisions. The problem is how to prevent this confidence from transforming into an ego

[@yankeenobonagu6411]

im only arrogant because i am a god

[@Cyberspatial]

🤔

[@Jupiterxice]

After the solar winds and fire eye hack no body should have any arrogance, old saying everyone has plan till they get hit in the face. Eat that humble pie and humble yourself.

[@Cyberspatial]

Agreed!

[@johnjamesjames5125]

Just say hey have you got a problem with being OK with me

[@Cyberspatial]

Curious, any good results with that?

[@mathieu-lenaers]

These tips do not apply only to cyber, very useful tips but wrong title :D Had to find a flaw, sorry ;)

[@AbleTwentyFive]

this video is hot

[@Cyberspatial]

Thanks!

[@Totototo-nr8dh]

Funny :)

[@Cyberspatial]

Thanks!

[@darkestknightishere]

I wonder who disliked this 🤔....

[@Cyberspatial]

There's always someone!

[@yxtqwf]

This video assumes that it's always other people who are arrogant, while people can just as often incorrectly perceive others as arrogant, especially those who are more terse. There's nothing wrong with correcting others when they are objectively wrong, such as this video is at 5:36. While it is correct that grep uses regular expressions and not globbing, GREP ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT STAND FOR "GNU REGULAR EXPRESSION PROGRAM". It comes from the ed command "g/re/p" (see the "History" section of the grep Wikipedia article). GNU did not create the grep program, and it predates the GNU Project by almost a decade; it was created by Ken Thompson, one of the great Unix pioneers. To attribute Unix utilities like grep to the GNU Project is unfair and harmful misinformation that causes people to think the GNU Coreutils is the only implementation, which can lead to people unknowingly writing scripts that use incompatible GNU features and extensions. While I respect the GNU project for giving life to the free software movement, it's very frustrating to see GNU given credit for things that it did not achieve or invent, especially when much of its software, despite being massively widespread, has a lot of problems. If you can, I urge you to please correct this error.

[@bruno-vicious]

There is so much irony in this video. Awhile back I made a post critiquing one of your guest. I felt he came off a little arrogant myself. Instead of engaging my comment you deleted it. MULTIPLE times even after posting it again. Your actions of deleting my comment is a PERFECT example of passive aggressive arrogance. You know there may have been things that I was saying that were wrong. But instead of correcting me you felt that there was no need to engage my comment because I was not worthy enough for you or anyone to engage. So you made the decision for me to silence me instead. Looks like you have not learned nor have you recognized your own arrogance.

[@Cyberspatial]

@Bruno Sorry to hear that happened. Only comments that *I've* ever deleted are spam. 🤔 Feel free to re-post them!

[@yxtqwf]

A lot of the time it's KZbin that deletes comments automatically. Perhaps that happened?

[@krzysztofkaplinski8603]

Grammar nazis? LOL I guess they want to write properly. Oh how dare they LOL

[@Cyberspatial]

You're missing a period.

[@krzysztofkaplinski8603]

@@Cyberspatial I am missing a lot more. trust me on that ;)

[@RoyalDog214]

@@krzysztofkaplinski8603 *Trust

[@bytefu]

@@Cyberspatial That's okay. I've never had a period in my life, and look how cool my avatar is.

[@billabong260]

Examples, please, examples... enough of rhetorics...

[@Cyberspatial]

Examples are endless, it's the rhetoric that's rare!

[@billabong260]

@@Cyberspatial yeah right! Almost every bloody blogger spends 70% on bullshit talk, and it's usually more to stimulate and feed their own egos - "mirror mirror on the wall"! (meanwhile forking some money in ads) rather than ACTUALLY addressing the point... Bla bla, yap yap. Waste of viewer's precious time

[@Cyberspatial]

@@billabong260 Agreed, if that's what you meant by "rhetoric." Though I'm not sure a video consisting of examples properly decomposes the root issues.

[@billabong260]

@@Cyberspatial call it purple prose, if you like... or simply: bull-shit

[@Cyberspatial]

@@billabong260 You're welcome to point to some examples in the video for constructive critique.