How To Deal With Toxic People? | Nouman Ali Khan

How To Deal With Toxic People? | Nouman Ali Khan
Welcome to another insightful talk by Nouman Ali Khan! In this video, we dive deep into understanding and managing toxic relationships from an Islamic perspective. 🌟
🌿 What You'll Learn:
Identifying toxic behavior 💡
Practical strategies for dealing with difficult people 🛠
Maintaining your faith and peace of mind 🌸
Islamic teachings on handling negativity 📖
Nouman Ali Khan shares his wisdom on how to navigate these challenging situations while staying true to your values and maintaining your mental well-being.
👉 Don't miss out on this enlightening discussion! Watch the full video to equip yourself with the knowledge and tools to handle toxic people effectively.
*Speaker: Nouman Ali Khan
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May Allah allow us to see the bigger picture and work for our hereafter which is ever-lasting, Aamin
Sending lots of love and dua your way
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#toxicpeople #toxicrelationships #mentalhealth #islamicguidance #selfimprovement #toxic #islam #allah #nomanalikhan

[@kaycali4912]

The most toxic people are the people closest to us. As a result of their toxicity, we have become negative too. We are more irritated, angry, stressed, depressed, down. 😢

[@areascoche3421]

if you have strong Iman, Taqwa and Tawakkul no anger, no stress, no depression can take you down, even if it comes from your family.

[@nameerah7588]

How can we have it?​@@areascoche3421

[@zahrazaheer2826]

"they replaced Allah with their own feelings" mind changing words

[@KM-vn9mj]

MashaAllah. Im going through this problem from my children. They read about some of these terms and have diagnosed about their childhood traumas and call me a narcissist and toxic mother, who gaslit them all the time and triggers them. You are very right insta has made my life hell. I feel like the worst mother on Earth , May be I am. I’m trying to fulfill their wishes, work for them, serve them food on bed being in my fiftees. I just pray that Allah clears their heart about me being a narcissistic mother. Perhaps I only forced them into worldly knowledge and not deen knowledge that I ended up like this. Please everyone pray that my kids find the right path with Allah’s blessings.

[@liliekusmierz4321]

Bismillah, may Allah swt guide your children to the right path Ameen

[@AllahsServant12]

May Allah guide you and your children. Ameen

[@kabeerahmuslimah3605]

Aameen ya Rabb ​@@liliekusmierz4321

[@kabeerahmuslimah3605]

May Allaah ease your affairs, guide your path towards His pleasure, gift us and progeny everlasting consciousness of Allaah, aameen ya Rabb

[@almasfatima3738]

Yes !!! This is what happens when we mothers only concentrate worldly benefits and being blinded by the motherly love land up in this situation,,, we must always keeps Imaan before us …only then can we have respect

[@Maryamsworld102]

Many people didn't get the video right Sheikh Nouman is not talking about people who got terribly abused or traumatized. How would you feel. When you went through so much abuse but delt all of it with patience again and again and again ANd then you hear someone saying that they got abuse just because what their parents were saying, or how their brothers are fighting over his land and stuff. Thats stupid. People nowadays take these words so light and some poeple even make fun of it. Sheikh Nouman is talking to those people. The people who say they are getting "abused" for the slightest thing possible. Or maybe yes, you did get abused in "psychological" way of thinking but that doesn't mean you will cut off ties with your family. You need to work it out. Find solution to the problem. Take everyone with you on the journey to make things right.(Again I am not pointing to the ones who genuinely got abused or traumatized.) Also he never told to Tolerate injustice. He himself said he doesn't look down on these things. What he's trying to say is that. In today's generation people have lowered their level of patience. They probably don't even know how "being patient" feels. Before throwing shade at some lecture, better understanding is always the right way 👍

[@kaycali4912]

Unfortunately, most of us are FORCED to tolerate it and become a door mat to our families negative talk. In a world of chaos, our family members are supposed to be our go-to for comfort but it’s the complete opposite. They don’t understand boundaries. They don’t understand that talking negatively can impact us mentally. Humans are weak and negative talk and energy can deplete us. 😢 I am suffering from this now and there is no way for me to tell them “stop the negative talk!” Without them taking it personally. They are so wired in bad energy that it’s hard for them to get rid of. We are forced to swallow whatever crap they give us. 😔

[@Maryamsworld102]

@@kaycali4912 So sad to hear that sister/brother. I am still a teen but went through a lot of negativity growing up. I am really glad I am a Muslim, and that my parents planted the seed of islam inside me, otherwise I wouldn't be what I am today, (alive). Yes, that is how I felt at the age to 13/14😥. But then I looked at my parents life and saw how much more they had to endure to bring us where I am now. And so I try my best to overlook all the negative stuff about them and put the good things on the front. Even if I get fed up again and again and again.😕 Even though this is how I endured it, its not how I expect others to deal. Again not everyone's way of dealing with traumatic experience is same neither is the experience itself the same for anyone And i can totally agree with people NOT wanting to hear what you have to say. Although we might have great communication skills, we only loose it because of the environment we are brought up in. But yes, all that you went through, imagaine someone coming up to you and saying that they are depressed for something that no one is supposed to be depressed over. I have my friends literally making fun of these things. As far as I can put, sheikh is adressing them. Or maybe we can take a lesson from this video too and increase our level of patience by encouraging ourselves to keep going because like Allah said, He will test the believers He loves.. Whatever you are going through I pray and hope that everything gets easy. Lots of dua. Pray for me too🤲🏻📿

[@kaycali4912]

@@Maryamsworld102I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were a teen. Forgive me for dumping this on you. You sound very mature. May Allah guide you through life with ease and happiness. Jazzakallah Khair. ❤

[@Maryamsworld102]

@@kaycali4912 No no, please don't be sorry. honestly I am glad you shared it with me. That way I know I am not alone in the struggles of this world. May Allah bless you with peace and Happiness as well. And May Allah allow us to pass all the tests with patience so we can all unite one day in Jannah. Waiyyakum 🧡

[@kaycali4912]

@@Maryamsworld102 Ameen 🤍

[@SA-px3ln]

Clearly some people will abuse til you get sick mentally emotionally physically from these forms of people., years of this.. this is basically saying take the abuse.

[@osamaeh]

If this was a khutbah given to the community on a Jummah salah.. wallahi hats off for Nauman Ali Khan. May Allah (swt) bless him. JazakAllah Khayr.

[@eri-vt6my]

i am going through the same problem ...its so important to reflect ,i know trauma and these toxic people are real but we just cant romanticize it and be a victim our entire lives .Its a test from Allah swt and we have to ask for his guidance and overcome it..its so hard to forget what those people did to you ,everytime you meet them you just get flashbacks or their are people who still are toxic to you..honestly on a deeper level when i see that these people are hurt which made them toxic and do those actions but lets be grateful we are not among them first and ask Allah to guide them and lets be full of love and just give love i know its hard but with allah everything is possible.💓

[@WayezK]

The honorable speaker possesses great knowledge of the Quranic verses no doubt, however, framing the narration in a way that basically says take the abuse. With due respect to the speaker, I do not support any form of abuse - psychological or physical. Of course Quran teaches one to be patient in difficult times. However, if you do not stand up for yourself or take abuse/mistreatment/injustice over and over again, surely it will make you physically and mentally sick and you will become distant from Allah as well. Allah teaches us through Quran to be patient but Allah also tells us to stand up against injustice as well. We always glorify standing against injustice when it is done to others, why we cannot take a stand for ourselves when injustice/abuse is being inflicted on us?

[@alexalam8364]

Exactly. Allah does not tell us to continue to tolerate abuse from an oppressor as it can be a form of self-harm.

[@H.A-Phoenix1]

@@alexalam8364 Exactly, one not only prevent self harm by stopping harm(toxicity) but also favor the abuser. There are significant consequences of stopping the trauma n seeking healing, -Abuser’s burden of punishment decreases in aakhirah - Victim stops spilling out the damage around to loved ones in family members, work place, and community.

[@tigressatwork1708]

Sabr means standing with the truth without fearing people , have only fear of Allah . It’s tenacity. A believer should never tolerate narcissism

[@s.afra_f]

The point is In these times, there's so much West influence that small matters are being exaggerated in Muslim community for example when your parents don't allow you for friends trip, suddenly they become controlling infact they are just being protective, as if mistaking sadness to depression. Speaker here is encouraging is to think rationally. You are surrounded by humans who are bound to make mistakes. Just like we can mistake people who are bad for us as good, we can mistake people who are good for us as bad. Also it has become a trend to show yourself victim of trauma, that should not happen with us.

[@coolGrap199]

Exactly!! And unfortunately very VERY few Islamic teachers are learning how to go about this really. There are children have been abused emotionally/ mentally for life, growing up in familys of constant turmoil because of an actuall narcissist father for example. And whenever they (children or the wife) go back to the father and the father keeps making problems for them and keeps ruining their life even in their 30s/40s, and the father doesnt just change.... its impossible to have a relationship with them. And these islamic scholars provide not one real truthfull answer. They just keep dismissing it.

[@user-xc2sb9ub2y]

I hope that we don't use trauma as a weapon. I can only talk from my experiences. When I see my depression backwards, I can see that Allah guided me to ask for help. We are human and we are not just soul beings. When my body and spirit hurt I seek God and doctors. I think that it's dangerous to deny people's histories. And it's not helping to enable a bully too. Not everyone can heal by themselves. We have to stop to put the standard so high. Things are not always black and white. I believe in therapy 😊. Thank you for sharing. I think I understand what you meant.

[@bintekamil4452]

Very much needed reminder.. Jazak Allah khairan Kaseeran

[@dreamhousejewels158]

Sir noman has to do it all over again so he may clear all the confusions and disappointment.

[@delachaks]

As a psychotherapist, thank you for this amazing khutba and guidance. I'd love to hear more about this subjec.

[@rushnarahmanika1792]

Jazak Allah khayran, we really needed this

[@arfarishtanahida1538]

Basic islamic education and studying Seerah of Huzur S.A.W wud give insight to all of us on deciding when to be patient and when to speak against zulm..

[@annieaziz84]

Nauman Ali Khan. A speaker that always gives me more strenght. His lectures are 𝔐𝔞𝔰𝔥𝔞'𝔄𝔩𝔩𝔞𝔥 ❤️ amazing

[@sheikhhayah2289]

But I think when we set boundaries and follow no contact ...we become better humans and maintain peace ..........

[@shanazali4386]

I just want to say jazzakallahkhayran for this much needed, introspective talk.

[@sidranawaz2314]

Self care is not an arrogance It means ur protecting yourself from emotional trauma and abuse Living with such toxic people make ourselves abusive n negative towards others too.

[@بالجيريان]

Very powerful Allahuma barik

[@teeyaz1]

Thank you for this reminder. I really needed to hear this right now 💗 Alhamdulilah for everything 🙌

[@shahinaayub5766]

The Muhammadan way sufi realities will tell you Sufisim is the heart of islam and and soul Dr you need Are saints May Allah guide us with divine and spiritual secrets Ameen

[@RenuSingh-hk2qv]

Great observation. Subhan Allah. I feel I needed it.

[@ess70028]

There seems to be a lot of conflation of certain terms/blanket definitions used here. I think it would’ve been helpful to include wider context too e.g. how and when boundaries can be helpful. Focusing on a narrative whereby, for example, boundaries are spoken about in the way NAK speaks of them here only, almost automatically creates a counter narrative that having boundaries is fundamentally wrong, which is not the case at all. We have doors on our houses, no? My understanding is that NAK attempts to speak of the WEAPONISATION of terms like boundaries, toxic, gaslighting. But he’s almost doing the same thing as those who weaponise (tunnel vision) by conflating the terms.

[@rainbowrose8802]

We need Islamic Science back

[@Taqwah_Tawheed]

This is one of the best videos I came across so beautifully elucidated thank you, it came to me just in time. JhazakAllah ❤

[@amelkatrin3464]

1.patience is with situations you can’t change, like illness for example. Patience is not with oppression and abuse, in the case of mistreated women the "fatwa"-channels promote inaction that is unhealthy and dangerous. 2. Narcissim is not the same as egoism and has nothing to do with too much "feelings" Yes it is good to forgive bad behavour, but narcisstic behavour never changes (it can just exist the illusion by manipulating) it is pathological and extremly dangerous and destructif! These people are cold like psychopaths. Please study this subject more. 3. We must preserve our dignity, our life and health conditions and our religion. Toxic people can take all this away, they are shhayateen

[@unariver5810]

Bravo!!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@s.afra_f]

Jazakallahu khair for this video❤

[@H.A-Phoenix1]

Not everyone can endure trauma in a similar manner, impacts vary from person to person. NAK shouldn’t exercise his personal philosophy in the realm of clinical psychology. Doin major in psychology is altogether different from being a professional clinical psychologist. He is expert of Quranic Arabic n a great asset but unfortunately in this interpretation, (اصاب من مصيبة ) he became same type of pseudo psychologist, one he is referring in the video. Affliction mentioned in this Ayat is singular n its doesn’t mean a persistent affliction at the hand of anyone. Occasional infliction n a trial is entirely different from a consistent transgression n pervasive toxicity. It’s not just selfish self love but also saving the abuser from burden of aakhirah when a victim set’s boundaries. Setting a boundary from a victim perspective is not at all for FEEL good purpose. If a traumatized person doesn’t stop it , he/she may in turn impacts others negatively. Coz real traumatic scars do not heal with magical dose of patience..endurance of traumatic abuse may decrease with time while the victim not only suffers but also dependent beings also suffer .. In above situation, one form of hidayah (guidance) is - Set the boundary -Stop trauma -Heal so one is not a source of misery for him/her self n others.

[@kaycali4912]

Totally. Unfortunately, most of us are FORCED to tolerate it and become a door mat to our families negative talk. In a world of chaos, our family members are supposed to be our go-to for comfort but it’s the complete opposite. They don’t understand boundaries. They don’t understand that talking negatively can impact us mentally. Humans are weak and negative talk and energy can deplete us. 😢 I am suffering from this now and there is no way for me to tell them “stop the negative talk!” Without them taking it personally. They are so wired in bad energy that it’s hard for them to get rid of. We are forced to swallow whatever crap they give us. 😔 whatever energy they are feeding, is also turning me completely negative and miserable.

[@coolGrap199]

Exactly!! So many people even get all kinds of mental problems. Yet our islamic teachers keeep on dismissing it.

[@rianakarriem6143]

May the Almighty grant you ease and abundance of positivity to come your way and all those in need of positivity. Ameen

[@sumairailyas3374]

Absolutely

[@user-xc2sb9ub2y]

I have observed that sometimes the people who truly need therapy won't seek for hjelp directly. They will wander around some subjects again and again. We can guide them carefully. We cloose the door to their faces when we tell them to just fast, or what the Saints did. It's their time.

[@mano5830]

But the prophet saw said leave what gives you not peace.

[@liliekusmierz4321]

Could you please give the reference? Jazak Allah

[@salmafk12]

I see a lot of people in the comment section reacting strongly without really understanding the message being conveyed. We have to face the truth: our generation has developed an alarmingly low tolerance towards challenges. That’s exactly what the video is trying to address. We need to stop mislabeling people, situations, and experiences without fully understanding them from all angles. This kind of shallow judgment has become all too common nowadays. We hear terms like 'mother wound,' 'father wound,' 'gaslighting,' 'traumatized,' 'abusive,' and 'toxic' being thrown around loosely. These are heavy, significant words that carry a lot of weight. But when we look at the people who truly endure these realities, it’s often those suffering in dire situations, like the people in Palestine. What’s truly remarkable about them is that despite their unimaginable hardships, they often respond with gratitude towards Allah. They’re enduring severe trials, yet their cries are filled with the remembrance of Allah’s name. That’s the kind of resilience Allah expects from His servants-a strength and faith that can withstand the most challenging circumstances. It’s truly a shame what our generation has become. We’ve lost the ability to endure, to see things through a lens of patience and understanding. Instead, we rush to label, to judge, to condemn, without taking the time to really study and appreciate the depth of the situations before us. We must do better, for it is a reflection of our own shortcomings when we misuse and overuse these heavy terms. It's a shame on us to allow this superficial understanding to dictate our thoughts and actions.

[@kaycali4912]

Unfortunately, most of us are FORCED to tolerate it and become a door mat to our families negative talk. In a world of chaos, our family members are supposed to be our go-to for comfort but it’s the complete opposite. They don’t understand boundaries. They don’t understand that talking negatively can impact us mentally. Humans are weak and negative talk and energy can deplete us. 😢 I am suffering from this now and there is no way for me to tell them “stop the negative talk!” Without them taking it personally. They are so wired in bad energy that it’s hard for them to get rid of. We are forced to swallow whatever crap they give us. 😔

[@mariamughal1722]

I feel like Allah has specially put this video in my feed. I needed to watch this!

[@ZainabRufai-l2p]

Subhanallah

[@piotrrobak]

It seems cruel to me, to make fun of the feelings of someone you haven't even talked to.. My heart is not as merciful as Allah's, persecutors, stalker's, and malicious people will not be happy at the end.. For Me Forgiveness Is a Personal Matter and I Have No Such Obligation.. My Relationship With Allah Is Great.. Is there something on your conscience..!? I take responsibility for myself, everyone has their own will, people are inspired differently, according to the will of Allah..

[@Verisimilitude_]

I am confused … telling people harsh truths is not gaslighting. Gaslighting is taking situations or scenarios that have happened and saying that it didn’t happen or it isn’t that way. For example you say today when we were on the road we saw a car accident and it’s the reason we were late due to traffic. But the person you are with wants to gaslight you for their own ulterior motives and they tell everyone .. no the reason we were late was because I was waiting for you to get ready for over half an hour. This is an example of gas lighting. The other person questions their memory and over time of doing this in different situations to a person, they begin to question their sanity.

[@coolGrap199]

unfortunately very VERY few Islamic teachers are learning how to go about this really. There are children that have been abused emotionally/ mentally for life with all kinds of actual disorders, because of growing up in familys of constant turmoil or because of an actual narcissist father for example. And whenever they (children or the wife) go back to the father and the father keeps making problems for them and keeps ruining their life even in their 30s/40s, and the father doesnt just change, while the children go back to him again and again to try and have a normal life with him, hoping he has changed.... its still impossible to have a relationship with them, because they play with you (emotionally/mentally). And these islamic scholars provide not one real truthfull answer to this. They just keep dismissing it. Making it so people who are actually going through this become even more lost

[@65394]

Gaslighting is not speaking HAQ. You don't know the exact meaning of Gaslighting

[@coolGrap199]

Exactly!!! Very big difference. Im very sad he spoke so elaborate about this subject without also adressing the real side of things. Very disapppinthing talk.

[@hudajamil3890]

Nouman if the things you mentioned initially i.e self care and drawing a boundary and telling a harsh truth if they are done with acknowledgement of the heart are actually good things but if done by only weighing things from the mind can and do lead to horrible outcomes so yeah both sides of the coin exist and keeping your eyes closed for either one only complicates problems further.

[@sheikhhayah2289]

If someone torture you mentally and emotionally......there is no other way than to leave them ....

[@Hargeysa]

جزاك الله... 2 many commercials!

[@HevalKurdi11]

@Hargeysa السلام عليكم.

[@AngryDonutGuy]

Use adblock or adguard

[@farhatbaig3943]

❤

[@somewhererainbow4775]

The same scology can be genuinely used againdt the other person too majority of the time. This is not always true, but majority of the time the same boot fits. This is just because majority of the world is corrupt at this time of life. Just have to remember astufirullaha, keep reciting and humbling yourself inshallah

[@TheMeherunnesa]

I think it was a mistake to open the comments

[@moenierahs6886]

What if someone was raped??? I can't see how Allah allowed that to happen??

[@rumabegum1450]

This is so profound! This is a big issue in todays muslims. " they replaced Allah with their 'feelings'" What does islam say about how to deal with toxic people? Ibrahim a.s. father was a toxic person. Yusuf a.s. brothers were narcissistic so what did they do? Did they turn to Allah or their "own feelings" Did they say im gonna completely cut these blood relations off because of all the "trauma" they gave me or were they patient with them and turned to Allah for help

[@FruityFarterSG]

You are actually justifying abuse.. gaslighting is not done through harsh truth but with lies. Many parents do abuse their children land every adult has a right to have personal space/ boundaries and make decisions for themselves...

[@freepalestine8701]

I don’t have twitter. But I have feeling those who support Palestine should boycott twitter for one day . Let’s see what happens… it has to be the same-day 📵 no comments, no retweet’s , don’t even open the app Please tell me if u see my comment … it keeps getting deleted or hidden,thanks

[@a-1khadar983]

No one like to hear the truth this days!

[@coolGrap199]

Sure NAK, but who are you to say someone throws these terms just out there? Whats if it comes from a man in his 30s or 40s, who's had nothint but abusive his entire life, scarring him emotionally/mentally and creating difficulties for all his actions in his every day life, all because of an actual narcissist/abusive father. What if the son has tried over and over again to forgive his father and go back (for the sake of Allah) only for his father to actually continue and create problems?? What NAK just did here is tell everyone these things exists, but dont act up, and just shush basically. And saying nothing about the real situations.

[@aimenfatima570]

Needed to be aaid

[@MarciaSilva-hz7mu]

Esse dia chegará por isso a paciência ala está vendo tudo e não reivindica nada só sua atenção abaixem. Suas cabeças no chão rezem peça ala ama aqueles que se lembram dele só peço a ele um mundo justo e seres humanos que sigam na senda reta e isso todos os dias da minha vida ala e o caminho isso e para os desviados voltem para senda reta🧕☝️☕🍰💪🇧🇷👊✌️🫵

[@er3947]

Desi wife

[@syedaaishafurrukh694]

You badly need a good RE-search and RE-vision because you have mixed HAQ with Gaslight. It was a waste of time listening to this vlog.

[@coolGrap199]

What NAK just did here is tell everyone these things DO exists, but went on to say nothing about the real situations; Just told us dont be a crybaby and turn to religion. Never thought id say this but this was a bad talk by NAK

[@dahlia1887]

It doesn’t matter if people used these psychological terms, it’s the ENGLISH language, we can even use our own language, those terms wasn’t available even in the English language up until early centuries. Most people glorify and normalise manipulation and abuse: I don’t see the point of the first half of this video. Don’t trivialise people’s experience and mental health under the pretext of Islam.