How to Deal with Uncertainty - Without Self-Sabotage

[@luablot-marchetto7918]

A poem I always go to when uncertainty hits hard on my soul is from Erin Hanson: "There is freedom waiting for you, On the breezes of the sky, And you ask "What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, What if you fly?"

[@geoffreyarcherpropeace]

This is amazing, thank you so much for sharing.

[@dubsax1668]

Thank you for sharing! This is truly encouraging! I am a musician & songwriter who has been procrastinating recording & releasing the music I write. When I read this poem, it had 111 likes. I choose to view this encouraging poem paired with the number of new beginnings as a sign telling me it is time to share my music with the world. I am not certain in the outcome, but I choose to take this risk. I have been investing in my songwriting & musical abilities for many years. My music is what I have to share with the world.

[@bakekay21]

💖🙌🏻❤️‍🔥

[@stewbugz5213]

Love that! ❤

[@HomerSimpson005]

Hi, I just wanted to let you know how appreciative I am of this video. Me and my son have been homeless for almost 2 years and I find myself spinning in circles with the self-sabotage and losing hope. This has helped me so much, thank you ❤❤❤

[@GTaichou]

"Watch less media about things that are far from you" I feel like this is a REALLY important point these days.

[@AV-vx3cf]

What does this mean?

[@saltiestsiren]

I feel incredibly ignorant when I ignore the news, maybe that's not rational but the guilt and shame I feel when I do is very real, it also makes me feel less intelligent

[@ZyliceLiddell]

Indeed! Bad ‘news’ everywhere!

[@gorillaelliotensis]

I'm also confused about the wording of "far from you."

[@kymbbm]

@@gorillaelliotensis literally means what it says, "stop paying attention to the problems that don't concern you and your immediate surroundings/community" If you live in America, it doesn't matter if there's a war in the middle of Africa, because no amount of sitting there worrying and crying about it is going to stop the war. You have no control over it, unless you are serious about changing the world and actually go and do political activism, which would still require you to stop being anxious and stop overthinking/doomscrolling

[@spontaneousbootay]

I've found curiosity to be the cure. It allows me to get rid of preconceived notions and see the truth of things instead of just thinking about things which lead to judgement, desire, and impatience. That's what sages mean when they say that they don't know anything. Act like you don't know anything and let each moment unfold itself without prosecution. How joyful.

[@suncrestt4839]

yes!! asking questions purely from a place of curiosity instead of assuming and making accusations makes life so much easier and lighter on your spirit. there is a certain peace that comes once you realize you will never know everything and that that is okay. it’s why they say to live in the present bc truly that is all our brains are capable of handling.

[@drock1947]

"Be Curious not Judgemental." - (a classic line in the show, Ted Lasso, which he attributed to Walt Whitman.)

[@jaylene283]

Mhm mhm, my heart connects with this, I gotta fine tune my curiosity in a way where my mind braces for the worst a little less. Id like embrace myself with more compassion while I take baby steps towards the fear of getting hurt again, the fear of change and rejection. I’m still trying to be patient with my process of self sabotage- but also courage in some length as well. I’m told that I fear life, and that’s true- it’s a whole wash of uncertainty from the start of your 20s I see, but (and I guess this is advice for anyone going through something similar) “curiosity” or to elaborate, the process into understanding oneself in a compassionate fortitude in REFLECTION of both how you interact with the world and How the world reacts to you, Needs a spark the most in places that bring you out of your comfort zone, and in places that inevitably trips into unknown events and experiences. I’m reopening a traumatic past and meeting those who have delivered nothing but hurt in my earliest experiences.. but I’m trying to be less rejecting and avoidant and search for empathy, I see time has done change to each and every one of us. We’re all confused, I’m glad to see, and admittedly I still am pretty unmoving with my progress of drastic change- and am welcoming myself to the exchanges of life and it’s sweetest and sourest fruits. But uhhh yes! Curiosity has led me a great deal of progress I wouldn’t have been able to make without some self grace, validity and sureness in myself and honestlyyyy, Some spunk lol My deepest wave of encouragement to those who are also trying to figure shit out without dwelling so much on the patterns of the past and the blur of tomorrow

[@rohansharma2761]

"We would rather fail than risking success " , what a thought provoking line , now when I think about it , it makes a lot of things about myself clearer. 🌻

[@JamesSmith-pc6bh]

I would rather not try than risk failure. I KNOW that I'm going to fail so why try at all.

[@josephdoiron3246]

The more you are negative about a task. The more likely you are to fail. Besides you're not a psychic are you and it's okay to fail. Everyone fails!!! "There are 1 million throwaways for every masterpiece" you have to fail to grow.

[@stephena.8193]

Basically a whole new perspective on 'fear of success'

[@gregcruse4647]

Im 54 and have never lived a day in my life because of chronic alarm/anxiety. Watching this i now know that my refusal or inability to deal with uncertainty has stopped me from doing anything of note in my life

[@puffchickpam1]

Me too. I’m 54 and totally relate.

[@k.pacificnw02134]

Also all or nothing thinking and self disparaging beliefs, as exampled in your comment.

[@gregcruse4647]

@@k.pacificnw02134 so very true. I have a BP issue at the moment and it has consumed me. Runaway anxiety/alarm with no nuance whatsoever. Its a form of self psychological torture

[@IamDoomed15]

​@@gregcruse4647how r u, ur life must be so terrible, I hope ur well

[@juliegraham2445]

I hope tou find the peace to open your eyes now and LIVE you are never too far gone to rebirth and find freedom! sending love

[@EmbraceTheStruggle24]

Five very simple things for me to handle uncertainty: 1.) Embrace conflict and uncomfortable situations and conversations (sounds crazy ikr - but not to be reckless). 2.) I like to sketch and draw pictures. 3.) Consume less news and social media (but this vid obviously is an exception to the rule, lol) 4.) Learn something new. 5.) Imperfections are necessary for growth and progress.

[@danielamestanek7899]

how do you embrace conflict and uncomfortable situations and conversations?

[@emalieholmstedt1382]

​@@danielamestanek7899 i'm not the original commenter, but for me it helps to view uncomfortable situations/conflict as a way to learn more about myself. Asking myself "Why do I feel this way?" "Can I change this?" "What do I want from this situation?" Rather than immediately thinking of or viewing a situation as bad

[@danielamestanek7899]

@@emalieholmstedt1382 thank you for your reply. that doesnt work for me, unfortunately.

[@emalieholmstedt1382]

@@danielamestanek7899 sorry to hear that, I hope you find something that works for you !

[@SteveBowden-z5q]

Just recently lost a job through self-sabotage, overthinking. The worst thing is it has happened before many times, I don't see till it's too late, it's an in-built mechanism. It seems I'm more comfortable with failure, failure is safe, failure is predictable, failure means I never have the uncertainty of being successful.

[@tinainglima]

Omg that makes sense ty❤

[@_Arko44]

I'm the exact same. I had just started a new job that I was very enthusiastic about and was eager to learn. One day a supervisor told me, "You have the personality that will take you far in this job. I can see you succeeding." Rather than taking it as a compliment, I immediately went into panic mode because I thought, "I just started and I'm already going to let my supervisors down." I left the job the next day. This happened nearly two and half years ago, and I still think about it every day.

[@chessiepique9532]

Uncertainty absolutely drives me up the wall. Interesting that this is common. Maybe instead of "does she like me or does she hate me?" I can tell myself that I will be ok regardless, even if it is the worst case and she never speaks to me again. This was a very timely video for me.

[@ConsciousConversations]

A thing I say is that this action no longer serves me. Whatever that caused it to protect me initially in my life, I give my attention to and find acceptance and love around that and then when I notice the sensations it thoughts that are the beginning of that sabotage experience I continue to tell me that it no longer serves me, that I don’t need ht

[@stevejesus6525]

My father always said that if you expect the worst and the worst doesn't happen, you will not be hurt or disappointed. No wonder I struggle with negativity

[@poposterous236]

Turns out there are worse things than being hurt or disappointed... like making excuses for a lousy attitude.

[@JDubeta]

Things I do to avoid uncertainty: 1. avoid making decisions, which means committing to action and following through. 2. Going back on my decision after I've made it. 3. Doing all the research and gathering more information until I become even more confused and unable to make a decision. 4. Seek out opinions from others, and look for reassurance on the decision I'm making (I don't want to be fully responsible if I make a mistake or 'get it wrong') 5. Think up all the scarious, options, or approaches I could take, and try to predict the outcome - leading to analysis paralysis, and avoidance of deciding (OCD perfectionism) 6.Try to gain certainty and control the outcome in my feeble attempts to predict the outcome, which leads into overthinking and analysing, which is f***ing exhausting.

[@mir127]

I hope you know how valuable this channel is.😊

[@Monadology1]

This video could be part of the anxiety course. It's the root of anxiety. I feel like I need more on this one piece. Like an entire course!

[@TheLoneDrow22]

What terrifies me the most is getting what I've been looking for, only to have it taken away right afterwards.

[@HidanoKyoku]

Ooof I feel that.

[@Ruby-kr6fh]

This has happened to me, it was painful to heal through, but I survived! It was important for me to take a period of healing (almost a year) before I was ready to pursue my goals and take risks again. I also think it helped me build mental strength/toughness and emotional resilience that will be useful in the future.

[@Scorpion-b1e]

This

[@NyxNefe]

Yup. Exactly same

[@TheLoneDrow22]

@@NyxNefe It can make it extremely difficult to keep finding reasons to push forward, to strive for anything positive in life. I'm sorry that you're going through something that makes you feel the same way, but it's also nice to see that we're not necessarily alone in our struggles. Keep going and stay strong! Best wishes to you in all you hope to not just gain, but keep.

[@angiecas8180]

"go out and plant the tree even if you don't watch it grow up."- Emma This is basically my mentality. So happy to finally have words that help me explain how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking.

[@imogensharma]

you have serious universal mother energy

[@juliegraham2445]

I literally had that though in the beginning of this" she is the mother I have ben needing to ask how to deal with my confusing self! At 41, I am grateful for finally being able to learn in the right direction for my emotional maturity. Her and so many other KZbin parents, mentors and safety nets.. thank you for these free resources that saved me through the darkest hours of my life

[@northerngaltrue]

I don't make firm decisions because I can't stand the uncertainty. This is profound. Thank you.

[@anishasunkara4542]

Exactly this

[@lydiasharon8228]

This is exactly what i needed at this point in my life. I’ve been procrastinating applying to college because i’m uncertain if i’ll be able to handle it or not. I’m 23 now and that’s the same reason I never went after high school. I regret it now but somehow still can’t bring myself to apply, even though I know what I want to do. Since I haven’t been able to make up my mind about it that anxious feeling has been bleeding into other aspects of my life. I can tell it affects my confidence as well. I know i’m capable of a lot more in life but every time I get close to a new opportunity I self sabotage. I’m going to start doing things i’m uncertain about because what’s the worst that can happen. I’ve failed before and made it out 🤷‍♀️. Thank you for this video! 🙂

[@peculiarbvlogs]

I’m 25 and completely feel the same way. I understand all of what you’re saying. I went and started the process of college but I still been haven’t enrolled due to self doubt. I scored high on most of my placement test, so that tells me I should have started long ago. Now, I finally built up the courage to go but have to pay out of pocket! 😅 so I’m looking for job that allows me to afford life and school. This has now become the hard part. Don’t wait any longer! Go for it. It may be harder to accomplish the longer you wait. We got this! 🙏🏽

[@k9rescuer934]

Feel the fear……do it anyway ❤ You’ve got this!

[@BitterTast3]

That example you gave with the “friend” who wouldn’t communicate for a YEAR and still not answer everything when they felt like talking again was just horrible. That’s a whole nother level of being a doormat! I would never disrespect myself so much as to still want to be friends with someone who would treat me like that! Pure insanity.

[@juliedepasquale3178]

I literally came here from the podcast to see if anyone else found this as problematic as I did! The other examples make sense--applying for jobs, taking trips, asking out someone new. But in my experience, if someone you have an established relationship with is causing you uncertainly, especially repeatedly, more often than not that's a red flag. I've stayed in toxic situations too many times in the name of "learning to tolerate uncertainty" or "not letting my anxiety be in control," but sometimes the anxiety is there for a good reason! Learning to differentiate between unhelpful anxiety vs anxiety that's a healthy response to being mistreated is an important skill in itself!

[@belovedbeauty]

@@juliedepasquale3178this! So agree

[@echognomecal6742]

Mind blowing example. Incredibly disrespectful! (Advice for someone with nearly zero chance of making decent friends?) Absolutely unacceptable. Thinking this is in any way a reasonable, healthy response (enough that it was included in her script, recorded, & kept in, [Even repeated!]) is concerning. I'm putting this channel on "Don't recommend" There's a lot of good here, yes, but this is spilled paint in the soup. I'll get mine elsewhere.

[@rainbowconnected]

It's possible that's an unhealthy situation and the friend who cut contact is the one being disrespectful. It's also possible that they felt that was the only choice because the one they stopped talking to did something that made them feel they would not be heard, respected, or that it would not be emotionally safe in some way. It could be something the second friend didn't see as a problem, but deeply hurt the one who cut contact and made them feel disrespected. Sadly this sort of thing is common. For example, lots of people have to go no contact with their family after years of trying to call out and ask for an end to abusive behavior. But because the family has normalized that behavior and/or is unwilling to admit they might have a problem, they just ignore it and then act surprised and offended when the adult child ceases talking to them. I'm sure similar things happen in friendships. For it to be a real relationship, both people's experience has to be treated as valid and important. Without curiousity, willingness to be vulnerable, and looking inward in a meaningful way, we might lose important relationships and serious opportunity for growth. So I think it's important to balance concern for ourselves with concern for how we affect others.

[@Zorriel]

Wow… I was a child when my grandma gave me the advise to “never expect because you’ll be disappointed” so I took it literally and just avoided friendships and left people because I knew they were going to leave me.. now I have this really good job and I’m trying to change my mindset

[@lisajane4330]

Love that, "I'm willing to feel uncertain about this situation" I've always been a chronic over thinker thats always choosen the safe options.

[@SaraBeal-oo5gr]

This is a very interesting concept. When I was growing up it was drilled in at school and at home that if something went wrong it was because you hadn't thought hard enough, hadn't planned enough, hadn't considered every potentiality, hadn't prepared enough etc. There wasn't any space left for the uncertainties of life. Hopefully I can learn to leave space for uncertainty and take some pressure off of myself.

[@charlottesreadsthings211]

You're one of my greatest discoveries on my healing journey ❤

[@patriciaclark9048]

Same

[@yya5061]

Overthinking is killing me. i come back every time when i overthink too much! Thank you. It did help a lot. It's hard to make my mind turn to positive in a night, but i believe that i can get through all this!

[@haidejames5281]

This explains the “better the devil you know” conundrum which can keep people feeling trapped in shitty situations - the brain would rather get shocked than take an uncertain leap in another direction!

[@QuantumDynamic8]

Uncertainty is programmed with the meaning collectively as it’s bad or something bad can happen so scares and shakes amygdala but that’s just a programming that it is not safe to be uncertain but it’s safe to be uncertain and experience it , it doesn’t mean something bad will happen so we don’t need to be paranoid in it’s anticipation, uncertainty can yield favourable outcomes too & it’s safe to expect that than being scared of uncertainty and living in paranoia . Thank you so much

[@Mikks_Upp]

The timing of this video is wild. JUST spoke about this with my therapist

[@ariah5093]

Your videos are ACTUALLY GOOD. I feel like most advice online is bad but yours are actually good! Thank you!!

[@ellahopkinson]

This is perfect, I am currently in therapy to increase my tolerance to uncertainty as it's the root of all of my anxiety, thank you for your videos :)

[@fatherhoodcircle6403]

You always deliver such timely messages. I appreciate all the work you do to help foster a world of healthy and joyful living.

[@dfab2486]

Geez Emma, its like you are speaking directly to me today. I appreciate you ..... always. Thank you♥️

[@urszulagrzywinska326]

I was supposed to cancel my upcoming trip which I have been super anxious about but you spoke to me using trip related anxiety example- it touched me and gave me so much support that I started thinking that I might be able to embrace this uncertainty of emotions 😢 you are amazing ❤

[@Ike4339]

Currently reading through Brianna Wiest's The Mountain is You, in tandem with the videos on your channel after nearly a year of being entirely consumed by my anxiety and uncertainty, to the point where i could not have held down a job for more than a couple of months, and causing complications in my relationship; your youtube channel in tandem with the book have really begun to help me climb out of the whole i've dug for myself over this past year. I have been keeping a journal and writing down things i have learned from both sources. i feel like i have a real opportunity to truly live out the life i was destined to live, not the life my conditions created for myself. i would like to thank you for the work you do putting out this kind of information for free and for anyone who may not be in a position to put themselves through therapy. [:

[@Doves-eo8ud]

Great concepts. I wish the video addressed less superficial examples of uncertainty like major health uncertainties (such as possible vision loss with an eye disease) or financial losses due to uncontrollable factors. Slowing down the delivery and diving empathically into these really challenging areas would help many people.

[@eunoia-giaw]

My current mantras: “I can do hard things,” & “I am my protector and cheerleader”

[@kennym99]

You've somehow summed up my thought processing. Dealing with uncertainty, practicing improving inner strength. Game changer for an introvert like me! Thanks Emma!!!

[@RosePetal17]

This is so timely! I have started on a path to follow my passion in a creative field. I am taking an 12 week online course. The facilitator has an assistant, and after about six weeks, I started having paranoiac thoughts that they were “ ganging” up on me, talking about me behind my back. Meanwhile, one of my classmates who has 20 years experience in the industry, took time to message to tell me I am “ fantastic!” How illogical is my paranoia!!I want to succeed, and talk to my inner child, letting her know I am here for her🙏🏻 Thank you for these very helpful videos!!

[@IsThisPurgatory]

Better Help isn’t exactly a great recommendation. I’ve heard a lot of bad about that place. Things like the therapists being under qualified and no showing appointments.

[@chil3988]

Thank you for the update! I know I needed that. Because of my uncertainty with examinations and failing many times, I have lost confidence and just half-assed my attempts, maybe it's the shame I feel whenever I see my family try to show support and I cannot reciprocate it with a passing result and it just builds up my anxiety that I just stop trying altogether..

[@light_1604]

It's okay buddy, reciprocation doesn't mean giving results, it can also be taken as giving your best efforts regardless of the uncertainty and showing up everyday even if you fail to do so in some days, get up and start moving again!

[@laurie8868]

Thank You. You have been a big part of my healing journey. I feel like you are a friend who I'm having coffee with that always gives encouragement and the best advice.

[@Headphones2014]

I’ve been struggling with uncertainty for years and this is the best information I’ve heard.

[@tinauslade2508]

I have used “making room for uncertainty” three times to stop my negative spiraling thoughts about events/relationships three times since watching the video and reflected on it in my interactive journal with my therapist. She was impressed with my work and of course I credited you! Thanks so much!❤

[@tinauslade2508]

Oh and it is hilarious that the same day I watched this, right before o told my therapist I need a shock collar for my negative self thoughts!

[@radium97]

Your Chanel has helped me enormously. I cant thank enough. Diagnosed with Anxiety Disorder, now in recovery loving the process.

[@julieking5151]

Oh man… so true! I hadn’t realized this was at the crux of much of what I struggle with and what’s stops me. Yes, I stop myself. Also I have the anxiety and depression that seems to go with it. I do all the things you mentioned to control and avoid uncertainty. Another thing I do is “write stories” and “carastrophize” all kinds of things to keep me safe and bored 😂 thank you so much ❤️❤️❤️

[@rosemarieleoncekealy2988]

I appreciate how you helps people to understand how depression and anxiety aligned with uncertainty beliefs can be crippling to ones self and I am def going to work on my underlined uncertainties that I harbor and take a chance on getting out of my comfort.

[@ChrisM50195]

Overthinking situations, checking, asking for reassurance, micromanaging and trying to control

[@LurkingLinnet]

5:11 I think and pre plan my classroom lecture scenarios. I brain storm in an attempt to protect myself from all that could go wrong and try to latch on to every little detail to avoid any mishappenings. It costs me my time and my sleep. I give myself the excuse that I'm autistic and uncertainty is hell for me but that is just another layer to it. Yes it's true autism and it's challenges but symptoms can be managed and uncertainty can be tolerated still I'd rather opt for active sabotage or pretentious oblivious suppression than actually deal with the mountain of fear and dread that builds up during the day!

[@CMack19]

I always thought that I was afraid of rejection. So I wouldn't apply myself. But the way you described uncertainty I believe now that it was this that I've been struggling against. Rejection was a small part of it.

[@escapevelocity8092]

This is perfectly put advice❤. Just think, you've never had control in your life. Life is way too bizarre and mysterious for you to ever claim you had control of anything. Loosen the grip a little, and you'll realise that everything you've been clinging to is moving with you anyway, so go with the flow more...

[@brendagutierrez608]

I alway thought happiness comes, in part, from certainty, but it comes out that it works the other way around, realising that accepting uncertainty can bring you happiness

[@kittyfittsy]

I’m so constantly grateful for people like you so generously doing this work that benefits those of us who aren’t even sure what’s wrong - I’m so grateful for the internet and creators like you, helping us get and be well.

[@naomischoenmakers9665]

Never been good at dealing with uncertainty. I like to be in control and everything to be perfect. This past year almost every aspect of my life changed (marriage, parenting, work, friends, finances) and all these aspects are still uncertain and unpredictable . Life forcing you to learn to deal with uncertainty. Thank you for the video, it's really helpful.

[@veetee4826]

Stil not working

[@elisenieuwe4649]

This is an excellent video. I recognize so much of this. It explains most of what I do and don't. I still need to finish my thesis after almost 10 years. Next September - January I must complete it or I won't be able to finish my study. Pretty extreme avoidance due to anxiety from uncertainty.

[@wendybooi5025]

Now I understand why I just can’t take action towards the goals I want to achieve. This makes so much sense now…. Thanks so much.

[@gio03942]

This was a very good video. I've been protecting myself from uncertainty my whole life and honestly I can't do it anymore. Since covid, conflicts and political/geopolitical unstability that we are facing today I tend to always seek reassurance by over-checking news, and websites that provide analysis to understand if I will be the one too that will face this unstability at some point. It's really exausting and I've basically gave up being happy and enojying the little pleasures of PRESENT life. By self-sabotaging myself like this I've been struggling to concentrate to MY life, but now I've decided to overcome this problem by seeking help and working on this issue, because it is really affecting my well-being. For all of the people that will see this comment remeber that you're not alone, put an helmet on and face this problem! Only with help and effort we will stop sabotaging ourselves. Sending a lot of love and hope

[@cr942]

You had us in the first half not going to lie. I was like oh this is helpful but that better help ad though 💀

[@marychristenson1491]

I asked myself earlier today why I self sabotage and fail to accomplish my biggest goals? Then this video appeared as I scrolled through articles my phone. It made me really think about my life philosophy and how it hurts me. Thank you for your wisdom.

[@c.a.parker5036]

Don't just take action. Take some dang action! Love it. Thanks, Emma ❤

[@Rqs79]

I have a history of starting things and not committing out of fear of failure and not knowing the results will be successful or not. Lately, I decided to make a career change and finally took action by beginning a certificate program at a community college. My fear of failure has also made me not full commit and pursue being a writer. The locus of control is a helpful exercise for me to remind me of what I can control.

[@ljkoh20052000able]

Just what I needed. Stop the struggle to struggle😊

[@penelopebirnstingl]

it must be fate that I saw this today. exactly my problem , and it is killing me. thank you. I am going to watch this several times and really take it in. but I think it may help me overcome my current state. a new direction. so well put. thank you so much.x

[@theresa29569]

Wow. Busted! Everything u said, I have done. It was comforting hearing I m not alone. Thank u.

[@jordanr277]

Haha for some reason I find this comment so wholesome. I am also busted with this habits!

[@iamsomeone8266]

I would say that some of the things I do to stop reassurance seeking from others, procrastination and Micromanaging (wow I do of checklists and planning which I do always follow through on in the form of procrastination)

[@iamsomeone8266]

Some things I have missed out on. Sleep, exercise, general hygiene. Yeah, it is very bad

[@matter_of_fact_]

Thank you for this. I've been dealing with the uncertainty of an upcoming operation and I can see so many patterns in my thoughts now that are controlled by trying to avoid uncertainty.

[@penelopebirnstingl]

I am going through the exact same thing! I am resisting, over checking, worrying, delaying, hesitating, expecting the worst. good luck to you for your operation. I am now going to rethink seriously and try to be WILLING to take the risk. I owe it to myself.x

[@grandecoles3262]

I was adopted when I was 5. For the first time I did something huge on my own: I flew all the way to France after learning the language. And I met a man that made me feel extremely loved. But I got scared and blocked him and could never find him again. 🥴🥴🥴

[@MilesMontgomery-pj4xc]

I really love your videos. They are great reminders. Yes, life is uncertain! This is an amazing reminder. My brain just can't have a come back from that. This is what I do, I am so often self sabotaging me. II I come up with an excuse or a way out, Then I don't have to feel anything. This has just left me a sad and anxious and lonely person. I know I like people and I like socializing, but the fear and worry has consumed my life. Life is uncertain. This is an amazing reminder. Thank You.

[@quantafitness6088]

Thank you! Of course on some level I knew other people had difficulties with uncertainty. But somehow I always felt it was just me... Now I know better.

[@jrdjr444]

This is the best explanation I've ever heard. Thank you

[@ioanarosu7515]

I am paralyzed with anxiety over uncertainty after not making a job I was extremely qualified for. Thank you for this video, it helps a lot looking at things from a different perspective.

[@awesomeface9081]

You’re wonderful, thanks for the new perspective!

[@aenaakmal]

I keep coming back here and this video helps every single time, thenkssomuchhh!!!!

[@KarlWitsman]

I shared this episode with my writer friends. I've seen so many of them sabotage themselves in so many ways. As a retired counselor, I've tried to tell them, but perhaps they need to hear it from a second person to believe it.

[@maiak3188]

As a recent college grad, I have to say that you couldn't have released this video at a better time!

[@kathygreen6043]

I get this. I have had Menierre's for 34 years. My nervous system is always on high alert. I wake up every day and ask myself if I can do this dizzy yet again today, never certain of how bad it will be; mild, moderate or severe dizziness. I have listened to many of your videos and the strategies you teach have helped me greatly.

[@iimladris]

I have been practicing all these and it really helps. Today, in general, I feel excited about uncertainty. But I choose to face it or not based on two things: Im mostly sure of what I DONT want or what bothers me, so it’s already a great answer, and weather this possibility makes me excited of trying out, then I go for it. There’s a saying that I like to repeat to myself: all magic happens in the unknown. This makes me feel excited about what might happen.

[@marieakerfeldt9643]

I use all my energy in an effort to in detail take care of the Household and practical things to the max (cleaning, washing, dishes, bedding etc. ”put out fires”) To get a sense of control when everything else in life is uncertain. to feel i am enough. Wrong focus. An old pattern from childhood. To the extent where I reach depression/burnout. And then the alarm clock kicks in. Finally. I should just have surrendered to the uncertainty in the first place. And focusing on relaxing and exploring the yoy of life with my 1,5 year old ❤

[@WisconsinWanderer]

@67 i’ve learned something about myself here today now I can move forward with something i’ve been putting off for years thank you 😊

[@PhilipGomes_SmashBro]

Thank you so much for these videos. They've been a huge help through some of my biggest struggles.

[@Joseph__0p9p]

Sending you heartfelt smiles from my soul.

[@6661Paul]

You are a diamond, honestly the insight and love you share for those who need it. Is so beautiful. Thank you.

[@2wickie686]

I want you to know I haven't even started the video but I'm already crying. I'm going through an extremely rough breakup with the love of my life who, in very simple terms, broke up with me due to being in his own life and mental health crisis, and not feeling ready for the relationship. I think he loves me still, though idk if it's romantic, and he doesn't want to lead me on but he has said a few things that have given me the impression there's at least some hope. Though to be fair, even if he didn't say those things, the hope would still be there. But it's not guaranteed by any means, and it is extremely hard to cope with the extremely sad idea that two months ago will be the last time I ever laid my head on his chest. I really, really love him, and I saw a future husband in him...I don't want to let go. Everyone tells me to move on, but that's like telling someone to give up on their dream of being an artist because they don't make enough money yet.

[@JessicaJoy34]

Reassurance seeking and avoiding risk. I feel like I have to make sure that I’m doing things the “right way”. This is mostly things that OCD is latching onto; but it spills over to other things at times.

[@L..Lawliet..]

This is something that I struggle with. Acceptance is definitely part of the solution. I also learned to lean into that zone of not caring anymore. I think of Vegeta (Dragon Ball Z) when he was training to be a Super Saiyan and that's the mindset that pulls me through.

[@moondmonvisual]

Reassurance seeking and procrastination for sure. Risk mitigation

[@Freddy-ff8yj]

This is the best channel you could ever find on KZbin you helped me a lot Emma,like beyond your imagination NGL.keep posting these videos that helps people live better life and take care too girl! Love from 🇲🇳

[@bloodybeggar]

Just what I needed. Have been struggling with this for a long time and have been looking for guidance. Thank you Emma!!

[@SaddamHussain-ex6yi]

Emma McAdam, it is you who have help me a lot to make my life better.. Thank you so much

[@dm-ko6988]

God bless you, Emma. You save lives and sanities with your channel.

[@sarahfairchild399]

The only true consistent thing here in this realm is change. I've had to come to peace with that. It's a work in progress 😉 Thanks for all the knowledge you share!!

[@brianbrenton1025]

Up till now I have avoided confrontation. I am reminded, however, that there is nothing left to fear. Im gonna ask for that raise. What's she gonna do? Fire me? No.

[@debbiewalker273]

I have good days and bad days, and the bad is all about worries & uncertainty. This is good advice, and you used an upcoming trip as an example, which I’ll be leaving on a trip in 2 weeks. My trips I usually look forward to, seeing family, but this trip, will also have something stressful I need to deal with, causing me too much anxiety. I’ve shortened the duration, thinking that would help, but it didn’t. So, I can cancel, but won’t be seeing my family. 😕 Instead, I’ve decided to take it a day at a time, and if I don’t handle what I need to do, I’m going to try not to worry about it. If it does get done, that would be wonderful. I do need to start accepting that life is unpredictable, and most things I can handle, even though most of the time, I think I can’t. Thanks, again, for all of your awesome advice ! ☺️☺️

[@bejoyful7]

Everything you explained makes so much sense. There r a lot of wisdom and truth in living our lives. Thank you so much. You r really a blessing to me.

[@emjey1]

thanks for the advice! will apply so 🫶🏻👍🏻

[@BlackjackMonster07]

Idk, expecting the worst is a good way to keep in mind the possibilities and prepare yourself in case the worst does happen. Like u said, we have to tell ourselves we can handle it. This helps with dealing with uncertainty, because you can’t function being 100% uncertain about everything.

[@hangettingstronger]

I literally search on reddit every time i want to try soemthing maybe to play safe and some kind of valufation but i dont remember ever really acting. I probbaly have a 1000 posts and videos on youtube and reddit saved to prepare me to be uncomfortablem. Definitely need to take teh advice to focus on the thing and not the emotion because my brain will always come up with an excuse with a little time.

[@berry8165]

I love the fact that this was recommended to me at the most perfect timing haha i respect you ma'am your content is amazing

[@EcomCarl]

Insightful discussion! Embrace the uncertainty as a natural part of our life and decision-making can enhance our resilience and open up an opportunities for our growth and success. 🧠

[@anishasunkara4542]

Don’t think I’ve seen a video that explains it better. Thank you 🙏🏽

[@koira163]

Pfft. How did you know I've been dealing with increased uncertainty? 🤨😂

[@rongike]

bc you're a human on Earth in 2024 🤣

[@imaadus]

Thank you much for all your videos, you make me happy after watching your videos! Stay blessed!!

[@bigunhettiarachchi853]

I want to achieve things but I’m not sure if I’ll. So I try to find the best thing where I can succeed in, so I can start it. Unlike others who try to see if it works, I try to not do what I feel might not work. I am ashamed to say this but listening to this made me realize that.

[@ubiveritasetamor]

Emma, this is one of the best + most helpful you've ever made!