How to Defeat Addiction & Create Strong Boundaries with Shadow Work - Inner Work Library [03/500]

[@jordanthornton]

*1-1 Mentorship Information: Price & Structure (Maximum Capacity = 20 Clients Per Year)* It's an absolute pleasure to film these KZbin videos, and I feel fortunate to receive an abundance of meaningful messages every week, but I am unfortunately faced with the disappointing reality of turning away the vast majority of people who want to work together. I have significantly limited availability and can only support twenty people per year because I do not offer one-off calls or drop-in consulting sessions. Twenty individuals might not sound like maximum capacity, but the last few years of teaching have taught me the importance of maintaining tight energetic boundaries if I want to keep uploading these free videos in addition to serving my current clients to the best of my ability in 2024. To minimise confusion and enhance transparency, I've spent several hours writing this ridiculously long comment to help you decide if my Inner Work Mentorship is the right choice for your development & what you could reasonably expect from working closely together. Please take the time to read this service description before contacting me on Instagram… or feel free to stop reading right now if you’re not interested in my fees, session structure, client expectations, etc. ... *READ BEFORE SCROLLING FURTHER:* I'm interested in long-term change and structural transformation, which is why I've never offered one-off sessions. Complex issues cannot be resolved in a few hours, but we likewise need to define an upper limit for containment and collaboration. I've learned that deep and enduring self-integration requires at least four months of immersive effort. Why four months? It's enough weekly contact for us to work through multiple complex issues and developmental possibilities, but short enough to mitigate against unconscious co-dependency and motivational stagnation. I'm currently accepting a maximum of two new clients per month - message me after reading the following section to check my availability. ... *HOW I WORK & WHO I WORK WITH* Unlike other coaches and teachers who take an understandably more relaxed approach to healing and integration, my mentorships are characteristically intense. This is a highly-demanding, high-investment process which requires our consistent combined effort over a period of four months. If we were to start working together, I would reasonably expect you to be excited to show up for a minimum of 10+ hours of self-motivated transformative practice per week (daily reading, fitness routine, creative exercises, spiritual reflection, etc.) while also maintaining full-sobriety (no drink, no drugs, no cigarettes, no vapes). These strict standards of discipline and sobriety are plainly unsuitable for most people in most situations - even genuinely motivated individuals who resonate with my KZbin videos may not be the right match for four months of structured mentorship. If you want to get deeper, I've noticed that there's a certain type of ‘temperament' & 'timing’ to get the most out of me. I'm interested in alert, creative and purpose-driven individuals who aspire to exceptional standards of self-maturation and would enjoy the feeling of going through week-on-week of progressively stacked transformative experiences for a third of a year: my ideal client is somebody who is willing to bring forward their internal complexity with a sense of courage and transparency with the intention of nothing less than full-spectrum transformation & rapid acceleration on their personal path. I am yet to discover another supportive figure who offers something comparable to this mentorship: a four-month, structured yet flexible 1-1 container which is simultaneously therapeutic, academic and action-oriented; with primary focus placed on tangible improvements in your felt sense of self-knowledge and self-integration; in addition to making consistent and meaningful progress towards your unique goals and mentorship aspirations. I prioritise contact, compassion and accountability, which means that your work never really 'ends' at the end of your session. You can reasonably expect to be fed dozens of customised reading suggestions and follow-on perspectives outside of the formal sessions via friendly and informal messenger contact, where I am active and available four days per week to cultivate an intimate personal connection while likewise enhancing your positive momentum via accountability check-ins and additional support as required. By way of conclusion for what feels like an extraordinarily long comment and service description, I feel compelled to once more emphasise that working directly with me is unrealistic for most people in most situations. I often support people who are accustomed to wrestling with the emotional challenges associated with working through complex wounds in previous therapeutic relationships before we begin our coaching work together. Even individuals without 'hard trauma' can expect moments of pressurised darkness and heaviness during periods of shadow contact as you begin to restructure your personal unconscious. We will be exploring your psyche and soma at scale and depth, and it will be your responsibility to keep me informed about the emotional texture of your internal reality, especially if you encounter negatively charged experiences, and I will of course do everything in my power to support you through the hard times as we integrate the darkness and move forwards together. KZbin is a wonderful place for me to share free research resources and offer accessible inner work invitations; my private mentorships, however, are the place for collaborative partnership and emotional security as we identify, navigate and restructure oftentimes confronting and challenging conscious and unconscious physical, emotional and mental material. Ultimately, this is a highly-demanding but highly-rewarding process which requires the best of our shared intentions. ... *SESSION STRUCTURE & FEES:* The total fee for an Inner Work Mentorship (including 12 x 2 hr sessions) is £7,400 GBP or approximately $9,400 USD. This is my only coaching programme, and my mentorship pricing is liable to adjustment over time. Each private session lasts two hours, and is facilitated via Telegram video call at an ideal time for both of us. Your mentorship extends over a linear four-month period, with a total of twenty-four hours of structured session time, in addition to four days per week of unlimited messenger availability for accountability updates, voice note exchanges and informal calls upon occasion. I do not work on Mondays, Tuesdays or Wednesdays, but I am fully-available across all timezones for regular calls and messenger contact on Thursday - Sunday. If you’ve scrolled this far, and resonate with what I’m offering, I invite you to message me on Instagram. It would be my pleasure to start exploring your goals and intentions in real-time. IMPORTANT: I am an intentionally independent coach, and not a licensed therapist or associated with any professional bodies or coaching institutions, and therefore enjoy the freedom to collaborate with my clients across all areas of life in an intimate, direct and highly involved coaching style. I work with no more than twenty people per year, and am currently accepting a maximum of two new clients per month. I also manage my own inbox and do not use automated systems or employ people to pretend to be me on Instagram, which means that it usually takes four to six weeks for me to respond to new messages and begin the interview process. Although my approach takes time, I hope you ultimately appreciate my personal emphasis on authentic and confidential communication from the very beginning of our relationship. I once again encourage you to message me immediately if you want to start working together within the next two months - bump yourself to the top of my inbox, and I’ll send you some voice notes to get our conversation started.

[@Theeyeseachannel]

Jordan, your aura and pure whole-hearted intention is captured by your creation of this video. Your words resonate with me and with where I've arrived in my choices. Sobriety 100% with no wiggle room to make exceptions for others. This has allowed me to be closer with those inside their addictions and see through the stories spun from helplessness and perceived weakness. Which, of course, was where I was for many years. Personally, the decision has flip flopped as my boundaries with others has shown me my capacity to hold steadfast in my own love and power of it. I'm grateful to receive your message, as I've been growing in being comfortable speaking my own message with the world around me. Your words are formed, structured and jam packed with intelligent keys to unlock the pathway to our gifts. Sobriety is the reward and the process is truly beautiful. You spoke to the anger evoked within myself for continously going back on my decisions and in that the part of my spirit, evoked by the energy felt to lead me through to the choices I've made now. No longer attmepting purity, rather relishing within the knowing of why Ive estblished the rules for myself. Soul stirred by my intuition and not only this video but all the pointed conversations youve channeld on your channel, and personal one-on-one dialogues that have lead me to this point. All your recorded messages speak loudly and proudly to ideas one shall be invited to integrate, at their pace of course, and this particular one you've shared speaks to literally all aspects of experience of our known reality and hammers home the notions of essential importance. Clear mindedness, fluid being, natural essence and choices, and full capacity to express oneself authentically within one's felt experience. Many thanks pour from my heart, and I'm honored to tune in with your life's story as I journey through mine.

[@jordanthornton]

I screenshotted and saved this beautiful comment (perhaps the fourth comment of yours I've done that with) - your gratitude and wisdom always touch me, Maddie. Thank you for this - sending you my absolute best with your continued speech and leadership journey.

[@gitu_tg]

Wow!!! 🤯 life-changer... I had heard this 5 to 6 times to really understand the concept.. Now I wonder why this is not taught at schools!!!

[@jordanthornton]

Despite our natural desire for shortcuts and quick fixes, I've learned that there really is no 'single answer' when it comes to healing addiction for yourself or supporting somebody else in their healing. All addictions have their roots in trauma, but the type & intensity of our wounding varies tremendously - shadow dynamics likewise get more complicated when two people enter into relationship (romantic, family or friendship). In truth, this was a challenging episode for me to film. I'm reviewing this video with a feeling of incompletion because I know there is way more for us to explore - but I hope you found value in this power/love unmet-needs perspective, nonetheless. If this episode has likewise raised more questions than answers for you, then know that I am happy to take your lingering questions related to addiction. Healing addiction is an important topic, and absolutely worth many episodes to further clarify what is naturally a very complex issue with no 'simple answer'. Feel free to get involved in the Q&A.

[@jordanthornton]

@@sardonyxsky I’m glad this helped - it’s a hard topic to speak to, but glad that the subtleties came through somewhat 🌲

[@jethodgkin6610]

​ @Jordan Thornton - Inner Work First, I'd like to thank Indira for asking this question, because your reply has given me perspective, and insight into my very own relationship with addiction by those afflicted heavily by it. These past few weeks have been a series of lessons learned through trying moments, one after the other. For context, allow me to write a brief paragraph or two. My significant other was recently let go of a job that she had built the entirety of her 4 year sobriety around. She was smart enough to know that too much of any given down time would exercise a compulsion to abuse alcohol or any other substance(s). So she built her mental empire around working hard and long everyday at this job, and she was fantastic and passionate about her work, only allowing herself one day of rest a week away from this job. She enjoyed having the power to control a lot of aspects of her work, the way it ran, and it gave her a sense of control over her own life as well. Currently we are thousands of miles apart as I am Active Military, and she is just a civilian. A change of management occurred at her work place, and it brought her empire of sobriety and control tumbling down... Which inevitably led to her abusing alcohol again. I better understand now, that this was all a very emotional response to seeking another form of comfort and control. Where I could only lend an ear, and some validating words of affection, although loving I was, I simply could not keep her from what transpired after. I was given a call late into my weekend to find out that she had been taken to the emergency hospital, because her brain was bleeding from a sort of hemorrhaging. The doctors told me she had a pancreatitis which occurred after heavy alcohol abuse. She got drunk and fell down a long staircase at home, hitting her head, and not seeking help from it, and only 2 days later would she have a seizure because of this. I did everything I could to try and take care of her, even requesting a Red Cross message so I could fly home and give her care. I see that this was my way of trying to take control now too. I wanted so badly to show her how much I loved and cared for her... But again she denied the message, and thus denied the ability to care for her. What could I do? How can I help someone that doesn't want my help? I'll tell you what I did... I started drinking too. It's so absurd it musters a chuckle once you see how the human condition shines through. While she was fighting her battle of recovery and healing from this, I too was having my bouts' back and forth with alcohol and smoking. One day, after making the conscious decision to be impaired for the span of a weekend, I awoke to the nonsense of it all. I could even go as far as quoting the late Bukowski, _"Drinking is an emotional thing. It joggles you out of the standardism of everyday life, out of everything being the same. It yanks you out of your body and your mind and throws you against the wall. I have the feeling that drinking is a form of suicide where you're allowed to return to life and begin all over the next day. It's like killing yourself, and then you're reborn."_ Which is exactly what happened. I was reborn, and in this rebirth it rang so clearly that my actions weren't aligned with who I was, that I was seeking an outlet for control and grabbing at comfort by means of relying on substance. and in this discovery, I ended it all there. _"How do you love someone who keeps hurting themself?"_ That's great question, and I feel you answered it well Jordan. You can love them by setting boundaries for yourself, and by rewarding any and all their attempts of getting closer to a similar realization. _"That's their trauma, their journey, their legacy."_ I feel that it's as simple and as complicated as that. And there-in lies my questions. • *In terms of **_subpersonalities_** what are your thoughts of changing one's own character(s), in order to gain certain results? (like putting on a costume that you can take off at the end of the day) Is this healthy?* • *How can an individual better recognize that they are going down a steep path, without having to hit rock-bottom to gain clarity from this? Or are we at the mercy of playing out every situation?* Thank you again to Indira, and to your Sir Jordan.

[@jordanthornton]

Jet, thank you for sharing this so boldly and courageously - takes a lot for a man to be so honest, and I appreciate that. I’ve read your message all the way through, twice - and feel called to answer both your questions with full Q&A videos if possible. I’ve screen-shotted them so watch out for that I’m coming weeks. In terms of immediate short answers, I think there is a degree of ‘persona masking’ which we all take on - you know this as somebody who serves in the military. It’s normal, fulfils a function and can be healthy - but of course, it’s the degree of consciousness and compulsion which makes the difference. In terms of hitting rock-bottom... I really don’t know. My personal story required several rock-bottom moments, and it seems to be that way for many. It’s something I want to explore for 15-20 mins, for sure. I’ll get thinking. Thank you again for sharing, and I’m truly wishing you all the best with your health and the health of your loved one 🌲

[@dianeclayton4936]

❤ Thank you, Jordan! 5 years sober in January. More recently, I've been exploring my power moves. Some are incredibly subtle. I hadn't made the connection to self love and trusting myself with my boundaries.

[@jordanthornton]

Congratulations, and thanks for likewise having the presence to still look deeper. On that journey with you.

[@Lon3Starr]

Deep. I see now that I lean towards power as well. It reflects in everything I do, my search for power, naturally, as I have felt helpless and weak for a very long time.. power.. I know I need to “power up”.

[@jordanthornton]

It’s a strong moment of reflection. Happy to have offered the opening - keep going 🌲

[@davidpatrick233]

I've only recently discovered your videos, but have thus-far found them very insightful and thought-provoking. Thank you for this content!

[@jordanthornton]

Welcome aboard! It's great to connect at a timely moment.

[@ThomasMcGauley-m7z]

In my experience addiction is a fear based instinct to escape and destroy. Move an emotion back a few steps and it is rooted in fear. Trauma too springs from fear.

[@sageluna7687]

I'm grateful for you and sharing not just from years of extended education/research etc.. but sharing your life as it applies as well. So again, I thank you. This one has me nodding like a bobble head and feeling like I just found those 2 missing puzzle pieces under the couch! 😆 Put together so well ❤️

[@jordanthornton]

Two missing puzzle pieces, I love that. Pleased that this perspective has supported you, Sage. More to come.

[@ArthursAtman]

Thank you Jordan. I need to rewatch this a couple times. Will respond once this has all sunk in deeply and started to do its work

[@jordanthornton]

Happy that this one landed.

[@ArthursAtman]

@@jordanthornton Yeah, it landed hard...I've gotta incorporate it. You ever been in a sparring session and given a head-nod, like "yup, you caught me their brother; I need to improve--good on ya?". Well it was one of those

[@jordanthornton]

@@ArthursAtman For sure, especially if you get hit with a good hook or swept off your feet. Happy to be here as always, and wishing you well.

[@ArthursAtman]

@@jordanthornton the best example was my friend Chris would hit me with a foot sweep from Xing Yi, which I'd never seen before, lol...I have video of this lol. Embarrassing but helped me grow...never got thrown like that again

[@jessenoelle262]

I know it's been a year since you've made this video, at least at the time that I'm commenting... but I so greatly appreciate this candid look at both addiction and the dynamics of love and power vs. love and self-empowerment. And if you haven't already, please do make so many more videos on these subjects and others like them. Personally, I don't think the topics covered in this video are discussed enough in the realms of recovery and esp. 12- step. I'm a big believer in 12 step, particularly aspects that foster connection and belonging, and which imply that people who struggle with addiction issues are worth being loved and cared for. I've also had to grow beyond any notion of rigid or literal adherence to certain lables and identifiers in order to truly begin to heal. I think 12 step can be an incredibly helpful place to start learning language of and around recovery. But it's subjects like the ones youtalk about here-and so many other of your video lecture topics-that offer the more advanced and more nuanced concepts that, I think, are critical to understand at some point on the recovery journey. It makes a big difference when it comes to growing beyond simple acceptance and basic practice of what one specific theory/application of recovery can look like. Personally, I'm a little new to this, relatively speaking-so maybe more people are talking and thinking about these ideas than I realize. But it was a big deal for me to learn that I even could think like that-that there were other things I could learn which would supplement my basic understanding of 12 step, and allow it to evolve it into something much more meaningful to me. So that's a lot and I'll leave it there. Thanks again for these invaluable videos. 🙏🌿

[@jordanthornton]

Really appreciate your time here, and your comment landed. Thanks for doing this work and I will keep talking about these topics in the future, for sure.

[@magdalenarudnik4739]

I love ur voice. I love ur work. Honesty. Clearity. Thank u. 👍

[@jordanthornton]

You are so welcome, Magdalena. Wishing you well in your own healing process.

[@taraa9839]

Hi Jordan! I came across one of your videos in my feed last week. I was awestruck by your energetic presence!!!💫💫💫I watched a couple of your videos and became a subscriber. Today this video came across my feed. Wow, absolutely powerful information here!!! So many layers and levels to unravel and examine. I am processing some deep wounds and trauma. Your analysis of love and power gave me some insights into my own relationships and experiences. I’ve been grieving the loss of my youth. I can see how my beauty/youth was a vehicle for power. The power to attract a mate, a provider, and potentially a better life for myself. In the 3D world, I’m seen as power less and invisible. Having beauty was where I had a little taste of power. And now that my conventional beauty is fading, I can see the loss of prospective mates. I’ve also suffered from ED and food addiction, so it’s really interesting how you equate that type of addiction to seeking love but sexual addiction to seeking power. So much here to process and unpack. I’m grateful for your work and videos. I agree with the commentator about censorship on this platform and FB and IG. I’m not on the latter two for this reason. If you decide to post on Rumble, I’d follow you over there.💕🙏🏼💕Tara

[@jordanthornton]

Tara, this comment is a pleasure to receive. I enjoyed reading your perspective and am happy to have helped in some way on your journey 🌲

[@jordanthornton]

*Want your question answered in the next episode? Here are the Inner Work themes and concerns which I am currently prioritising:* - Trauma Healing & Trauma Release - Parts Work & Subpersonalities - Jungian Psychology & Archetypes - Transpersonal Psychology / Healing - Self Education & Research Suggestions - Masculine / Feminine Dynamics - Addiction, Recovery & Sobriety In the spirit of doing this work together, and extending our genuine concern for others, I invite you to consider phrasing your question to serve on behalf of both yourself and the silent stranger across the ocean who is seeking the exact same answers as you, but might not be willing to get directly involved. We experience our internal worlds independently, but we are remarkably interwoven at our essence. I find this zoom-out awareness connective and comforting, so I naturally welcome your individual perspective while also looking forward to watching this series unfold at the particular intersection between personal circumstances and broader collective challenges. In terms of question boundaries and guidelines, these videos are not an opportunity for long personal essays or indiscriminate trauma dumping. Self-reflective writing is suitable for private journaling, but clearly inappropriate for a public video series. I hope this is obvious, but perhaps worth stating nonetheless. *Question Length: I kindly request that you limit your question to a maximum of two concise sentences.* Important: Comment replies do not show up in my notification box. Please post your question as a new comment on this video, otherwise I will not see your message!

[@amy-lyne]

hey, this video was soothing to listen to. I have a question in the same vein as "boundaries"... how do you re-integrate into society after devoting several years to inner work? How do you go back to a regular workplace, family, old friends, etc? Places where you are surrounded by people who don't prioritize personal development. For me personally, it will be several years before I am able to make a career out of my passion projects and find like-minded people in my niche. Curious about your thoughts.. and thanks for your content!

[@jordanthornton]

Amy, I should be releasing a video on a very similar question tomorrow about “how to be a normal person!” - synchronistic! I’ve still screenshotted your message and might still make a two part video - lots to say on this 🌲

[@amy-lyne]

@@jordanthornton lol "how do I be normal" is the question I really wanted to ask. Layman terms. I talk like a textbook when i read too many textbooks. Haha cool, sounds like the video for me

[@jordanthornton]

@@amy-lyne I would likewise respond the exact same way if I hadn’t spent about 30 mins trying to condense the same kinds of ideas into the clickable and obvious phrase ‘how to be normal” hahahah

[@winniewinkles]

I used to be hell on wheels across a variety of fronts but now am same, don’t drink etc etc. Meditative practise was really the game changer for me. Btw love how reflective you are. Thanks

[@jesmithajose4478]

Hi Jordan! Firstly great work, and I am so impressed by how not only calming your voice is but also how serene your energy is. More power to you! Before I ask my question, I would like to share some background about myself. Newly relocated to the UK, trying to fit in, and find myself in the midst of all the uncertainty and change. As a result, currently experiencing impostor syndrome, and essentially this hidden feeling of helplessness and powerlessness. I have just recently hit 30 and I am amazed by how little I knew about myself. I am very keen to understand different ways or exercises to empower my inner child and bring out more of my feminine energy around the people I interact with. Thank you again for taking out the time to read, curious to hear from you.

[@jordanthornton]

Hey Jesmitha, thank you for sharing. I have videos on these exact topics already on my channel if you look for them - especially inner child healing. Take a search, will answer your question in far more detail over there than I can in this comment! And good luck with finding your footing in the UK, many beautiful people here.

[@jesmithajose4478]

@@jordanthornton thank you! Will check them out . Take care 🙏

[@inwonderland9842]

🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲 Because trees speak louder than words. Thank you Jordan.

[@jordanthornton]

🌲🤍🌲

[@dianevierra781]

I got kind of emotional listening to this, to the point where there were almost tears. I'm not sure if I can explain why right now. for me, I have a strong impulse to spend long hours on the internet, mostly listening to videos. my current number of friends is small enough to count on one hand, and right now, they're all in different phases of their lives than mine. and because of my spiritual/religious beliefs (I'm a witch) I don't talk that much with my family anymore, not about as much as I used to. so the internet has become a window to the outside world, for me. I'm saying all this because this video brought an awareness of why I behave the way I do: it comes from a fear of intimacy. at least, that seems to be the most obvious thing. this may be as much as I'll write, that's personal enough.

[@jordanthornton]

Diane, thank you for sharing. I can relate to those feelings of internet isolation at times - especially if there is a natural foundation of introversion preference. I appreciate you writing this, and remember that there will be several people who are reading your comment and feeling seen, understood and mirrored even if they don't make themselves known. Wishing you my best.

[@jethodgkin6610]

Your video struck me to my core today, Jordan. And I wrote a lengthy "from the heart" comment to you, with some serious questions. I believe KZbin may have removed it, and that's truly sad because I can't type up that emotional moment-like comment again. I said nothing wrong either, despite someone talking openly about their sexuality with men in your comments, mine own was nothing of the sort. What other platforms do you use? How limited are you with your topics when it comes to KZbin anti-free speech rules?

[@jordanthornton]

This is fucked up. Tragic that your in the moment comment is lost. I've likewise had to de-monetise this video to hopefully encourage it's reach. Would you be willing to re-capture the essence of your questions for me, Jet? I'm always looking to hear how these types of videos are received, and if I know they are 'worth it' then I will continue to make them regardless. In terms of platforms, I exist mainly on Instagram for 1-1 communication but honestly feel incredibly tech adverse in terms of expansion - I haven't currently got the bandwidth while focusing on client work and research.. will likely need to hire somebody to help with that at some point. Rumble, potentially.

[@jethodgkin6610]

Thank you for your reply to my comment and question(s) Jordan! I had written an almost paragraphical-essay comparing your topic of love, addiction, and healing, while adding my own recent obstacles I'm facing in life with these said topics. If there is such a thing as divine intervention, or fate... Then your video most assuredly was meant for me. I'll try to recapture my questions, but I'll have to summarize everything else I wrote into something shorter so you can better grasp why this video is so important to me, my spouse, and many others. Stand fast brother.

[@Amandsmckeown]

@@jordanthornton and this is why I follow you...and share your videos with those I love who are struggling as well as myself. Hard to find the real ones in this time but if you pay attention, it’s not hard to see who is doing it from the right place. Thank you for your efforts and energy you put into your videos. As well as the consistency. I look forward to and learn something from every single one.

[@LavenderHazelwood]

This is a brilliant talk. You just gave me a key. Thank you. xo, Aurora

[@jordanthornton]

Aurora, it is my pleausure - happy to have helped, and wishing you well with your process!

[@m15thios]

appreciate your videos Jordan

[@jordanthornton]

Glad you like them - the videos will keep on coming, here to help!

[@serenitylumbard1888]

Hi Jordan, I stumbled on your channel today and am very impressed by your work. And yes, as I see I'm not the only one to mention, you have a super calming, beautiful voice as well which is comforting and warm when exploring such intense and powerful topics. I'll be watching your videos with much curiosity. I've been on a similiar glide path the last few years, or really my entire life, so thank you for sharing such wonderful insights and books with us all. Serenity

[@jordanthornton]

Serenity, thank you - this is a wonderful comment to read, and I'm wishing you my very best in your next steps on your path. Powerful.

[@mountainlaurellee]

Thank you for everything.

[@jordanthornton]

You are so welcome!

[@yinglan9606]

great videos, you approach these topics so sensitively. Thank you!

[@jordanthornton]

Thank you - I appreciate your attention and comments, always 🌲

[@sebaswegman9433]

before watching I might speak some words, I have been sober from Hard drugs for over one and a half years, still prescribed benzodiazepines so not sober I am working on it, been heavily diminishing adult entertainment to a point where it barely occurs and if, it is really soft in nature and one amateur person this makes it better for me for not entertaining other parts of the industry that in my eyes are worse. I live in holland, 21 years old. and you were the first to introduce me to the dark night of the soul before I was unaware of that term but I have known that is what happened but did not know this term. people say that is young to experience all this, whilst I realize it is better sooner than later but yea still it was a lot, good thing is I have been indoctrinated with biases and ideologies little and these were easier to make my own instead of others. and now, to watch the video maybe I'll add something to this comment if I see fit. love has been quite a problem, or at least understanding it from myself and others, there is a problem that I feel I cause turmoil in family matters not only for addiction but they will play together. I do not have have a need to show power, I know my power and really don't need to prove anyone this but still there is a inner problem of seeing to much "power" and it getting unbalanced, I now see our definition of power is different to mine I would use control instead of power. still like I spoke loving of myself and others has been a problem, and still needs work. a lot of regret and guilt in my 13th to 20th years of life have build up to quite an explosion of emotion and my foundation of how the world was seen was broken to the core, a lot trying to understand came after and then the journey to... I do not know I wanted to say something but I don't know. this comment is written in 2 parts, I did not edit the first writing the second where is stated where I live.

[@jordanthornton]

Sebas, thank you for sharing some of your story - incredible. Well done with doing the healing work up to this point. It sounds like you have a lot of self-awareness and reflectivity for the steps ahead - apologies I cannot respond fully here, you’ve shared a lot. Have read your words and wishing you all the best 🌲

[@stewartmacgregor9304]

Outstanding video

[@jordanthornton]

Cheers, brother. It's one of the classics - hope you enjoy the new ones too, certainly help out with addiction and more.

[@msflaneuse4340]

Thank you for this. 🙏🏻

[@jordanthornton]

My pleasure - stay strong with your boundaries 🌲

[@elisabethcrawford5903]

Thanks for another great video!

[@jordanthornton]

Elisabeth, you are welcome! Thanks for taking the time to comment 🌲

[@joelmasantos879]

Amazingly interesting video, so well explained. For a while I thought I had to change my brother. Thank you 🙏

[@jordanthornton]

You are very welcome, good perspective shift

[@claireodriscoll1856]

I like the box of matches metaphor. I have a friend like that.

[@gailaltschwager7377]

Thank you!

[@jordanthornton]

You're welcome!

[@waakkeuppp]

10:32 15:41

[@gurdenator85]

Thank you so much for this video. I myself have my issues with addiction. Been clean an sober for the best part of 2 years with the help of NA and a 12 step programme. I've got control of drink and drugs now. But other things like porn sex and love I struggle with.

[@jordanthornton]

You got this, Luke. Well done of the substances, and I recommend reading ‘Cupid’s Poisoned Arrow’ by Marina Robinson for pornography / ejaculation addiction issues as well as ‘Facing Love Addiction’ by Pia Melody - they go together and they will be insightful for you, brother. I also released a recent video on addiction which could be useful for you / check it out my man, and good luck

[@gurdenator85]

@@jordanthornton thank you so much for taking the time to reply. And thank you for the recommendations. I'm always looking for more knowledge and looking for solutions to my problems. And also well done on your sobriety too. Proud of you for conquering your own addictions

[@jordanthornton]

@@gurdenator85 On the same path, brother - stay strong in your next steps.

[@mtrisi]

15:01 is great.

[@jordanthornton]

Cheers 🌲

[@SamanthaFule]

I just wanted to say thank you!

[@jordanthornton]

Samantha, you are most welcome. Wishing you my best in your next steps 🌲

[@aat501]

Amazing

[@jordanthornton]

Thank you! Cheers!

[@David.McCartney]

Thank you 🙏🙌

[@jordanthornton]

David, my pleasure - sending my best and always good to read from you 🌲

[@winniewinkles]

I don’t agree with you Jordan about what a boundary is. I’d more say they are like a preference and it’s more a meeting of mutual respect for each others preferences. I don’t think anyone should be trying to shape anothers behaviour. Whatever anyone wants to do is fine, but you don’t have to engage with it unless asked. Oh I’ve ended up agreeing with you (typing as watching). Lovely video Jordan. Oh and I liked what you identified about porn. Even the tone of it seems quite clearly about that (for men). I guess it’s channeling that divine masculine power and not acting it out at women or divine feminine. Or rather, mastery of it. Thanks.

[@mihail8149]

I respect you

[@jordanthornton]

Cheers brother, sending you my best with your path ahead 🌲

[@sarahjabbour9648]

Beautiful ❤

[@jordanthornton]

Thank you, Sarah 🌲

[@geotyr3868]

Hi Jordan, thank you for your work. appreciating it's not "such" a big community sharing interest in these topics essentially, i am just wondering about the possibility of maybe creating an opportunity for those who wish to connect. well, idk how much sense this makes... i just struggle immensely and i think a level of human connection discussing around these would be nice.

[@jordanthornton]

Thank you - there often seems to be people connecting in the comments sections of these videos, for what it's worth. I agree that it can be lonely at times, and wish you well.

[@arieldesouza3117]

How can we take a step towards healing addiction when it is wrapped up in our productivity and ability to create? When we’ve been using a an external source to focus, achieve our goals, all of which exists at the core of our identity and sense of self worth?

[@jordanthornton]

Ariel, I’ve screens-shotted your question and will upload a full response next week - watch out for it. Thank you. May I ask if you’re referring to a particular addiction (workaholism maybe?) & also to expand on your idea so I can better respond to you personally? Wishing you all the best.

[@arieldesouza3117]

@@jordanthornton thank you so much for responding to my question. I’m actually talking about using substances to focus and be creative and productive. I went to art school and am now a tattoo artist and have always written poetry etc, and ever since being introduced to coffee as a child, I slowly built a relationship with needing something outside of my self in order to focus and it has grown over time to stronger substances. Being prescribed Adderal for a few years in my 20s through college further molded that system within me. And while thank god I am off of that, still I seek ways to alter my state of consciousness to access certain parts of myself that I wish I had access to on my own. It feels powerless to have that type of relationship with your own powers. Like it is in me, but I must use alchemy and external sources to call those things forth.

[@jordanthornton]

@@arieldesouza3117 Beautiful process so far, thank you for sharing and well-done with your own tapering off Adderal - that's a hard one. I'll film my response to this and post it - likely release next Thursday, Ariel.

[@arieldesouza3117]

@@jordanthornton thank you, I look forward to seeing it and hearing your perspective. I know you get a ton of questions and I don’t want to take up too much space, but one other things for if and when you have the time, do you have any tips for simple/ attainable/ starting point daily spiritual practices? Somewhere to start. I know there are hundreds. But I would love a video that goes into detail about how to start a spiritual practice

[@kayul249]

❤

[@neoreign]

Pron was my 'addiction' i was hooked. Unreal how much my life has changed since I've broken away from that addiction. edit: I'm working on doing subliminal work, i wanted to ask you, i still play the 'race card' as in, I'll want to do something and my brain goes 'oh you have to be white to succeed at that' i'm really tired of this, I know it's not true. How can I remove this aspect. I remember it like it was yesterday when I was taught this. I was 16, fresh off africa and didn't have that thought (lots of other trauma so i understand why that cop out stuck).

[@jordanthornton]

Hey brother, right here with you - well done. In regards to your question about subliminal and race, have you noticed how ‘successful’ and mentally healthy people don’t seem to care about race? Rich people like rich people; happy people like happy people. It’s incredibly simplistic, and nowhere near a full answer - but something that I’ve learned while working with people of different ethnic backgrounds is that character really is King. You’re absolutely in control to shift outdated cultural narratives, same way you have broken away from old addictions 💪🏻

[@jordanthornton]

Extra practical point: consider looking deeper into parts work and shadow work, particularly around the inner critic and inner perfectionist.

[@neoreign]

@@jordanthornton I completely agree, there's zero truth to this though, zero! There was a time I believed it, but it is insane how something who on a conscious level you know is false has a grasp on your current reality. Thanks for the inner critic and inner perfectionist suggestions, found the videos and will get to work on it. I'll also see a hypnosis person to speed this up. Thanks bro. Much love to you.

[@jordanthornton]

@@neoreign In addition to hypnosis, I highly recommend finding ways to feel stronger and safer in your physical body - heavy lifting and training or martial arts for men especially, (although it may seem unrelated, there is a hell of a lot of confidence that grows from getting more physically capable - and it often transfers to dissolving limited mental barrier) You got this.

[@fionamckay6503]

How did you go about getting sober from drink, drugs, and porn? All at once, cold turkey, or slowly, one at a time?

[@jordanthornton]

Fiona, I'm going to do a video on this within a month all being well, thank you for the question. For me personally there was a cascade of sobriety after clarifying my internal conviction to prioritise clarity over confusion. It sounds basic, but there was so much force that I couldn't not get sober. Will expand more in a future video!

[@Engineer9921]

I would love to coach with you

[@jordanthornton]

We can make that happen - check out the pinned comment on my latest videos, I've got space for you in 2025.

[@victorwilliams111]

I'm loving your videos. Sobriety? Can I give up my own addictions? Something that I have become increasing enmeshed in as I come out more and try to be more social as a gay man among other gay men is the strong focus on sex and sexual attractiveness. I have been alone and single for many years. I am now encountering polyamorous relationships, kink culture, open relationships, sex parties, sex with friends, and just generally being slapped in the face with sexual engagement with nearly every interaction with gay men. I want to be sex positive and open to new experiences, but I also want to engage with people on a higher level.

[@jordanthornton]

Having worked with gay men and women, this cultural oversexualisation is something I've seen before. It's really your choice, Victor. Gay culture may have more permissiveness, but there are still many men who want more conservative and relaxed situations which don't require an inflamed libido. I'm not sure if this is what you're looking for, but ultimately know that there will be opportunities for socialisation without over-sexualisation.

[@PuppyHeaven-k5k]

Keep in mind the founder of shadow work Carl Jung was a cigarette smoker😮

[@jordanthornton]

True, cigars mainly.

[@warburtonsbread481]

I lot of bad stuff is happening in the back ground of them porn videos stuff that your not focused on while watching

[@jordanthornton]

Yes, the professional and casual elements of the industry have many shadows. It's a shame to witness.

[@Captainlarrymckenna]

First of all thank you for all of your brilliant videos, I’ve seen every single one of them. What is the best way to contact you? I do not believe you can direct message on KZbin, and IG dm isn’t working. Cheers! 🙏

[@jordanthornton]

Truly appreciate your attention - this comment means a lot to me. Give IG message another go & perhaps comment on a post so I can know it’s you. DM box on IG is the only way to contact me currently (try to maintain digital minimalism)

[@Captainlarrymckenna]

@@jordanthornton Perhaps they are being sent to your message “Requests” folder. I’ll give it another go. Be well, and thank you for the prompt response!

[@jordanthornton]

@@Captainlarrymckenna Likely - I do have many requests and only so much time as one man hahah What’s your account name on IG? I’ll look out for you!

[@Captainlarrymckenna]

@@jordanthornton check out @5.m.e.o . Thanks m8! 😊

[@indiradavey]

Thank you so much for making this video in response to my q Jordan. I always appreciate your insight, especially on topics as challenging but necessary to address as these. 🤍

[@indiradavey]

Such bs about the censorship too!! So frustrating.

[@jordanthornton]

Indira, thank you for the question! Always hard to speak to particular situations when remaining general, but I truly help this provided some new perspectives 🌲