How To Keep Your Sons-In-Law and Daughters-In-Law Out of Your Estate

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It's common for parents to want to keep their sons-in-law and daughters-in law out of their estate, for a variety of reasons. Common reasons include the fact that the in-law spends too much money; the in-law has their own kids; the in-law will inherit from their own parents and grandparents; some parents want to keep everything in the "bloodlines" because they inherited from parents and grandparents; others just don't like their in-laws; and others fear that their children will get divorced in the future and lose their inheritance.
Parents have several options when establishing an estate legal program. One option is simply leave the inheritance to the child - outright. Some parents reason that an inheritance is the separate property of the child so that should take care of it. However, inheritances that children receive are often, either intentionally or unintentionally, commingled with community property causing the inheritance to lose its separate property status.
A second option parents have is to leave their child's inheritance to a trust for the benefit of the child. If the parents name the child as the trustee, the child's spouse could exert influence over the child and force the child to take excessive distributions from the trust. But some parents tell me, "Let's leave it to a trust for our child and name our child as the trustee. If our child screws it up, so be it. We did what we could do to try to protect him without taking away his access to his inheritance."
A third option is to leave your child's inheritance to a trust, but name a 3rd party as the trustee of the trust - in essence restricting your child's access to his or her inheritance. By restricting your child's access to the trust, your are restricting your child's spouse from influencing your child to access the trust. You may even wish to name your child's children as the principal beneficiaries of the trust so that when your child later passes away, remaining trust assets would stay in the bloodlines benefiting your grandchildren. Your child's withdrawal or distribution rights become key components to this program.
There are many factors that play into how you leave an inheritance to your children. You must factor in the community property law, the Trust Code, laws which state that fruits of separate property are community property, family law, marriage contract law, and laws allowing spouses to sign a Declaration reserving the fruits of separate property as separate property.
This post is for informational purposes only and does not provide legal advice. Please do not act or refrain from acting based on anything you read on this site. Using this site or communicating with Rabalais Estate Planning, LLC, through this site does not form an attorney/client relationship.
Paul Rabalais
Estate Planning Attorney
www.RabalaisEstatePlanning.com
Phone: [phone]

[@thecatinthehat3931]

2 points. 1) I worked in a bank for 30yrs and, boy, regularly saw shocking arguments when there's money involved! 2) My Grandmother got remarried at the age of 75 (after being a widow for 25yrs!) and, unfortunately, her new found happiness lasted only 3 months when her new hubby died from a heart attack. She inherited the property that she had only just moved into, together with all his other monies and worldly goods. Apart from grieving, of course, his two children were upset that everything went to my Grandmother. This proves that you need to put something in place and not hang around! (NB my Grandmother was a reasonable woman and passed everything over to her new hubby's family as she felt that only fair thing to do -BUT most people aren't like that - unfortunately!)

[@wyominghome4857]

Your grandmother is a class act.

[@kathleenveronesi2755]

I would think that it’s the decent thing to do.

[@remnant3333]

You are right most people are not like that.

[@HB-yq8gy]

The salt of the earth type of Grandmother.

[@alexandrahanson-harding4666]

Your grandmother was a fair woman. Good for her.

[@blancaw6280]

Those are good strategies. I have two children, one married with children and the other single. I chose to exclude my two grandchildren from inheriting money. I left them some personal effects that I specifically listed but not money. Who knows if my son will someday have children and if he does and his children don't inherit then that would be unfair. All the money is divided between my two children. If they decide to give some of that to their children or spouse that is their decision.

[@rossbryan6102]

LOL I HAVE AN NOW EX- BROTHER AND SISTER IN LAW BOTH TRY TO STEAL 10 ACRES OF FARM LAND I LIVE ON!! GOOD ADVICE!!!

[@valeriew4833]

wow. tha audacity

[@rachelmartineau8102]

That's totally ridiculous! They have no ties to your acreages. They shouldn't have any legal rights.

[@janeybarham6016]

Yes indeed !

[@maryricketts7337]

My husband died before his mother. When she passed away his portion of her estate went to his 4 living children and me (20% each). She was very gracious to leave me a share of what would otherwise belonged to my husband.

[@CM-sm2pk]

You had an exceptional mother-in-law. Mine was a racist interloper.

[@nvmcrider8475]

A fool and his money is soon parted. Bottom line is that 75% of people blow any money that they didn't earn.

[@virtue_signal_]

Fool and his money are out welcomed everywhere!

[@25kmgb]

Another excellent discussion. You do a fantastic job of explaining in a way that is easily understood. Thank you.

[@camillenordwall3718]

Both of my husband’s brothers, his mother and my husband died before their dad… it’s a good thing I was in the will. I took care of my father in law for the last year of his life.

[@sharoncrawford3042]

I have 1 child. If she out lives us, she gets everything. If not, it goes to our grandchildren. Simple. Once we are gone it is what it is.

[@lmcg16291]

Hello Mr Rabalais just a note to say how grateful I am for you taking the time to teach us about the law and how to prepare for our departures and protect our family at the same time.I understand you very well ,your videos are very precise and clear, occasionally I miss to understand but not because of you let me make that clear.I do thank you from the bottom of my heart💖and may the Lord keep you well to continue to help us .From Hialeah Gardens ,Luz🙏👍👏🙌💖🙏

[@colleenoldham1245]

We are going to make sure our daughter is protected even though she says she isn't getting married. we are living on property we inherited from my father in law and when my husband dies I know that I will live on our farm until I dieI had a good relationship with my father in law and my husband and I have a stable marriage. The farm is security that my husband wants me to have and we want our daughter to have.I enjoy your videos , they have a wealth of information.

[@patrickfee1122]

In Canada, inheritances and income collected are not considered joint assets and are exempt when separating assets because of divorce. Never use personal inheritance to pay down household debt or a mortgage. That money would then be considered a communal asset and subject to a 50/50 split.

[@scottwillas]

hi nice meeting you again

[@valerielucille3204]

Just came across your channel today and have already watched several episodes. Very good information. Thank you!

[@PederE007]

Amber is going to be really pissed off.

[@social3ngin33rin]

Not if she doesn't know it exists ;)

[@spocksvulcanbrain]

Doesn't matter. She has no say and no recourse.

[@lindylevo]

😂🤣😂😂🤣

[@milicamarshastefanovich3312]

Oh too bad 😜

[@milicamarshastefanovich3312]

My son is 20, and I’ve already had that conversation with him and my lawyer. With divorce as high as it is, it’s not in his odds that he’ll stay married to his first wife. Having said that, you have to protect what you and your family have created and what you want to pass on as a legacy. Prenups are a must, unless, everyone including the extended family is broke.

[@crickettfenner8438]

Once I am dead my kids can do whatever they want with it. They have been taught to manage their money and be smart.

[@heathergustafson4237]

You can send your children to the most advanced education and teach them all that’s good. But being delusional when it comes to money is not safe EVER. I have 2 other sisters 1 brother, always got along. Parents die and let me tell you , you don’t even know these people anymore! Never did I think in a million years that they totally changed when it came to the money etc.

[@robertbrowne4049]

And did you educate your son and daughter in law too?

[@heathergustafson4237]

@@robertbrowne4049 yes!

[@G5rry]

The point of the video is not about the children, but about the in-laws.

[@scottwillas]

hi nice meeting you

[@leebay6093]

Great advice - my girlfriend list her whole inheritance due to ex spending like a drunken sailor - she helped spend it too and quickly, over a million gone in 10 years! Her parents would be rolling in their graves, squandered so foolishly and arrogantly

[@fredjohnson5458]

Hello Lee😊

[@fretworkband3204]

Sadly more common than one would think. Unfortunately many do not view themselves as stewards of the inheritance.

[@scottwillas]

Hi nice meeting you

[@HeeHawHighlander]

So blessed that all three of my children are with spouses that are welcome to half of whatever I leave each of my kids. I consider them my own children and if the worst ever happens in their relationships, I wouldn’t have hard feelings about them getting half.

[@bethlehemeisenhour5807]

If the child gets it, it is SURE their family will. NATURAL.

[@susanhagler2401]

My mom tried leaving me out of inheritance because she told everyone that I got mine when my husband’s parents were killed in a car accident. I told her that it was his inheritance not mine because he was their son. My mom was a not so nice person. I still got my share of the estate due to my dad’s will.

[@mchapman132]

You and I had the same mother. My mom cut me out of her will because I had a very good job. My sister made more $ than me, but ......she got it all. Sis was the “favorite”.

[@b-genspinster7895]

I guess mom passed before dad?

[@kathleenkeane4364]

@@mchapman132 I thought I was the only one like that.

[@mchapman132]

@@kathleenkeane4364 - no, you’re not alone. I’ve come to learn many people had dysfunctional parents. You have my sympathy. Stay safe.

[@kathleenkeane4364]

@@mchapman132 ✨🎆✨

[@junehitchcock170]

Thank god for your video! I am struggling with this conundrum at present!

[@humera121]

Hahaha

[@gerrylaarakker2123]

I completely agree as a lawyer I refuse to include "in-laws" as a beneficiary in a Will. I refuse to do that Will!

[@kerrijohnstone7588]

As a lawyer you are required to follow the instructions of clients to the letter. -Good luck keeping your practice going!

[@legalfictionnaturalfact3969]

Dude is not a lawyer. LOL.

[@warrenbarnes9653]

Great video. This advice is even more important for residents of states that are not community property states.

[@robertwhite6203]

Good topic . I was told in laws don’t count by an attorney that specializes in wills & trusts ect .besides I wouldn’t never sign nothing with other family members . Except My mom or aunt . It’s always best to get with a attorney that does wills & estates . & get sound advice . Every state has its own laws .

[@witatter1]

Now I understand better why our attorney was surprised that we made sure our son in law was next in line, after our daughter, in our will. We love our son in law. He’s a good and honest person who I know will take care of our grandkids. I trust him with my life. So, even if my daughter were not survive us- highly unlikely- I know he would do exactly what we want. We got lucky when he married our daughter.

[@ceya733]

Heard storys like this and the in law turnt! U 4gotten people do change,cheat, murder their spouse..never never put your trust man😮

[@ronaldkehinde252]

I think when deciding on preparing our wills, we shouldn't let our emotions get the best of us. If you really want to rest in perfect peace after you night have departed, be firm, be definite and be straight forward in terms of who gets what and how. I think the last option which is the Trustee Fund with a third party being included is the best. You can only leave what you have.

[@remnant3333]

My mom made her daughter in law to handle everything when she died. To this day I have nothing of my mom's of which I told my mom that she would do this because she hates me. My dad died first and he would have rolled over in his grave if he knew what my mom did. I basically got kicked to the curb. My mom was horrible to do this and I feel as if she hated me.

[@userPs91victory]

Oh mine! ABSOLUTELY! not in general but the majority are sharks. There are some very sad stories out there after the son/daughter in law sucks up everything like a vacuum cleaner, and the beneficiary ends up poor and lives on the streets and sleep under the bridge.

[@tinaballinger2903]

My father slowly developed dementia. He had 3 daughters. Each living in different states. Before the dementia really started to take over 2014. My older sister flew to TN and they along with atty did last will and testament. Before all this happened my mother and father were married and had a pretty nice home. My sister was interior decorator and her husband was a contractor for building homes. Anyway, after my father left they went to TN and did updates on home. The house sold for almost 1/2 million. Daddy (he thought) was buying a nice condo. He was receiving over 3,000.00 a month for retirement. His dementia got worse so they did his last will and testament in 2013. In 2020 (Feb) he had a severe brain hemorrhage. He had 24 he care at his condo. He passed away 5 days later. So my older sister (who was executior read his last will and testament. I was to receive 1/2 of his earnings from his estate. But somehow my sister's husband was now the owner. My father did not know. He had dementia. So where did the 1/2 million dollars go. And why was father paying for his condo each month and HOA etc. He filed bankruptcy so no credit card. He used cash. When I went to stay with him for 3 months until he got 24 he care which was not out of his pocket. His retired job paid for it and all new stuff. He just had about 1,000 I. His checking acct. He received each month almost 3,000. Where was the money? My sister said he never paid one bill there. I have legal pads upon legal pads where he wrote down his budget for each month including mortgage. His funeral was over 30,000. Which the Union gave ,her 12,000.00 for funeral. Is it actually legal to have a parent with dementia to sign over his property and he does not know this. He kept asking where is all his money. So the estate is in my brother laws name. Which my father said I was to receive 1/2. But did not get. It was almost Two hundred thousand. Probate never informed me or my other sister because the property was in our brother n laws name.

[@Cardifftoyboy1]

Where there's a will there is a relative.

[@anaksunamoon8618]

That is so true. Vultures.

[@Cardifftoyboy1]

@@anaksunamoon8618 Mother told me once that people worry about other peoples money more than they ever do about their own Anak.

[@samjordan8800]

@WALKABOUT Good one! But did you know that a will *INITIATES PROBATE* ????

[@cayennenaturetrails8953]

LoL!!! :)

[@Itdontmatter69]

My sister in law is working very hard to separate my siblings from each other because my mom is quite well off. She wants it all. How can i stop her besides digging a hole for her ??

[@diana6842]

Good advice about not putting this off and getting it taken care of now. We just did this and went with a trust so we could also protect our grandchildren's inheritance. Glad it's all settled.

[@marlenehahn5678]

We did this also. Too protect our daughter and grandaughters

[@fredjohnson5458]

Hello Diana😊

[@MJ-my9sg]

Went through a horrific death money situation with family 20 years ago. Learned a valuable lesson...... just leave your money to worthy causes, homeless shelters, abused women n children homes, animal rescue, etc. Everyone should work hard and make their own way in life not being greedy or expecting anything!

[@idontknow2293]

My aunt did that and the church fought it tooth and nail. Took 6 years to complete.

[@backwoodsgeorgiagirl5594]

My husband died before his mother's will was probate and since I received his estate I will receive his portion. Rightly so after all the mean things they have done to me and 22 years of insults and bullying.

[@maretvilla1531]

My husband's father died. His brother, the executor, secretly moved money from the trust to a joint bank account with the name of their dying mother, their eldest brother and his wife listed on the joint account - minus my husband. Bottom line: the executor did not follow the trust, the conniving thieves lied and then proudly stole my husband's inheritance at a time we need it most.

[@ldav2006]

This happens all the time. Similar situation happened to my husband. We knew his family was gonna screw us and they did. Sad to lose family over money.

[@raybod1775]

That’s why there are courts and lawyers.

[@garyhoelting5994]

@@raybod1775 usually the lawyers wind up making money and you get little to nothing.the lawyers made the rules and set up the system

[@loralieisa]

@@raybod1775 Lawyers wind up becoming defacto beneficiaries of the estate.

[@pamelahicks517]

So sorry you got stabbed in the back and through the heart by greedy, selfish, criminally unethical in-laws.

[@artkingofwholefoods74]

I REALLY enjoy your videos. Thank you Sir....

[@americasestateplanninglawy1946]

I enjoy that you enjoy!😉

[@IntegrityMeansAll]

@@americasestateplanninglawy1946 Question: What if the surviving spouse has signed a prenup that she gets nothing including inheritance and the house was only under his name and the parent of deceased spouse files probate trying to get everything? Is there any way the surviving spouse can still get something despite signing the prenup. I’d truly appreciate a response

[@lindak6669]

I just came across this video and we are soon to update a previous will. Our oldest son asked us if we would leave his wife his share of our estate if he passed away. We were surprised at the request because we thought that our son’s will should provide for his wife and we wanted our son’s share of our estate to go to his children, our grandchildren. To complicate matters one of our son’s children is handicapped and is well taken care of by the wife. Our other two son’s have no children, but one with a wife. It’s a sticky situation and my feeling is that my best solutions in Pennsylvania is to put names of heirs in the will with a percentage for each. Some are in a financially good position and some are not. It’s no simple solution.

[@TheAMX1972]

Excellent presentation! I saw my attorney and amended my will using the Trust approach and designated 3rd party Trustee.

[@JoseGarcia-oo4mc]

Hello my name is José and I have to say I really enjoy your videos . Thanks

[@patrisha7487]

It happens. Brother was the executor of our parents estate, then he died before all was executed, his wife received more than his siblings. Plan on an executor dying before all is completed.

[@vintagegirl68]

My in-laws have excluded me and it hurts. My husband and two sons get an inheritance, not me. It makes me wondered what I did wrong or why they don't "really" like me. I thought we were family, called her Mom for over 30 years. I have been a good wife (not an Amber), taking care of my husband, raised our children, their grandchildren, homeschooled our sons instead of making a dime or having a career. It feels like I am not important and overlooked. Rejected. It may look good on paper, but it hurts the heart a bit.

[@diana6842]

So did my mother-in-law, but for some reason, it didn't hurt my feelings. I just always assumed she'd divide her estate equally between her two sons. My husband immediately co-mingled his inheritance, so it's half mine now. Your husband will probably do the same, so I wouldn't worry about it.

[@janetveres3316]

I agree. I was the same. Then my husband died just after my mother-in-law and I had all the responsibilities of our own home, kids plus difficult father-in-law with dementia and his home as well. It isn’t the money, it’s feeling they never accepted you despite your obvious commitment.

[@gypsytreasures3856]

Because you have your own parents

[@justaoldguy8098]

In my limited experience, people never leave money to an in-law. Consequently, in-laws never feel hurt when they do not inherit. Is that not the same where your are from? Does your husband expect to inherit from your parents?

[@dos14dos14]

Don’t feel slighted. Inheritances are typically passed on bloodlines. I hope your husband is sharing his inheritance with you.

[@rickyo8145]

Felix ends up dead the day after the inheritance.

[@ban6096]

Thank you Mr. Rabalais for this very vital information. Many people of means regardless of background are worried about this issue world-wide!!!

[@lindavazquez589]

Lots to think about. Thank you for sharing!

[@natashac5861]

All your videos are very informative!!! Thank you for sharing all your knowledge 🙏

[@americasestateplanninglawy1946]

So nice of you

[@gabrielsyt]

Thank you for sharing your insights. This is very helpful.

[@findingdori442]

Thank you so much for this & helping so many! 🙏

[@sylviaseri4235]

When my husband and I go, our estate will be divided amongst our 4 kids. I told them to put it in a private account because as soon as they put it in a joint account, 1/2 belongs to their spouses. I was thinking about doing 75% to the kids, and 25% to be divided among our 3 grandsons.

[@mitchd949]

25% seems quite a high amount to grandkids.

[@spocksvulcanbrain]

Depending on how old your grandkids, it might be better to start an IRA now and fund every year. It's highly likely they will fair much better than getting a pice of the pie years from now. And they will have a huge retirement savings by the time they're ready to quit working.

[@sylviaseri4235]

@@spocksvulcanbrain They are 1, 3, 5.

[@spocksvulcanbrain]

@@sylviaseri4235 Start off with 2000 now, then $200/month or the equivalent per year. But the time they reach 50, each will have between $570K and $2.5 million depending g on when they "retire" (60, 65, etc...). Seems a pretty good investment to me. Any good free download able financial calculator will give you the opportunity to adjust the parameters. But use at least a 7 to 9% return rate because that's the average for the past 40 years.

[@sylviaseri4235]

@@spocksvulcanbrain thank you!

[@RR-bs8sw]

I was not contacted during my father’s probate and succession. I am in New Jersey now, but in a few weeks will be in Louisiana. I plan to go to the clerks office where the succession was done to get copies of everything that was filed. What can be done if everything is not as it should be. In the will that I have, my father left me his disposeable portion. My father passed in 2014, but significant debt was owed to the irs, so my mother never opened a probate.

[@jeanwhite1659]

Uncontested wills can be "" closed "

[@rosskline]

Great info. Thanks for sharing!

[@pamelahicks517]

We live in Texas(community property) and our son-in-law is a narcassistic, controlling, manipulative tyrant, so I watched this video. Is there some way we can totally restrict our inheritance in such a way that our son-in-law has to be dead before our daughter(if still alive at the time of his death) and/or grandchildren inherit our worldly goods? Thanks for your reply

[@MaggieClarkSLC]

My aunt and uncle did that in Wisconsin and it worked. They despised their son's wife (and with good reason). It all depends on the law of your particular State so consult an attorney. You can get referrals from your State's bar organization and get approximate fees. It's always worth it if you have something to leave and have strong feelings where it ends up.

[@elanahammer1076]

Thank you for your mini refresher course. Studying some of laws in LA., and your parishes made studies in college very interesting 🤔! ❤️✊🇺🇸😜

[@scottwillas]

Hi nice meeting you I was in touch with you before I lost your contact

[@dznrocks6605]

Awesome channel! Thanks for providing great information.

[@julieh4747]

My in laws left the bulk of their money/property to my husband. They left some money and property to his siblings. He stayed on the farm for 48 years so they felt he deserved the bulk of the estate. They made sure all in laws were left out of their trust. However, as soon as my husband inherited all of the property and money, half of everything became his spouses because that is how it works in our state. His parents wanted him to make a trust that excluded me and our lawyer even mentioned it, but he said that wasn't what he wanted and he needed me to help run the farm. So long story short, they excluded me, but I am living in the house and my name is on all the property. We are doing fine and haven't sold everything for the quick dollar. Sometimes our imagination of what can happen is far different from what actually does and it was simply my FIL's dislike of me that was the driving factor in their decisions.

[@loralieisa]

I have noticed generally that when your in-laws don't like you it usually means you are a perfect match for their son/daughter. The divorce rate is high, but not at the 100% mark.

[@shelbychesnut99]

My in-laws are in their 90s. I work very hard to support them. My husband had a permanent disability and I take care of him as well. His sister has demintia, so she cannot help. I find this very insulting.

[@fredjohnson5458]

Hello Shelby😊

[@DianeScotts]

@@fredjohnson5458 Get lost, spammer.

[@mariasciulli8786]

Thank you this is good information 👍 for me especially.

[@n.gineer8102]

My father in law put everything into a Family Limited Partnership years before he died. I researched it and was pretty sure I wasn’t going to inherit anything ever. Made me care are a lot less about his and now my wife’s real estate.problems.

[@dos14dos14]

Why would you expect to inherit anything from your father-in-law? The fact that you researched a FLP to see if you were going to gain anything speaks volumes about your character. Once you learned you won’t inherit anything, you now don’t care about your FIL’s or wife’s real estate problems. Have you just been sticking around because you thought you would inherit something? You sound like a real gem.

[@AeriolNicols]

Money grubbier, greedy.

[@MrTruckerf]

Your father-in-law was a wise man. You are the type who looks into 'What's In It For Me?' before you do anything. You love your wife, right? Then help her with her problems whether you gain financially or not! If you don't love her, hit the road.

[@deborahelliott833]

Had my dad remarried, I'd likely have lost our inheritance. Honey pots married into our family and went on to burn down grandmothers house... for a planned major annexation for the city. In laws are just as likely to be honeypots in certain situations. Get a background check.

[@armondedge8840]

I have learned the futility of trying to control too closely and too long from the grave. Property is for the living.

[@jennnyandjeffs]

How would you have learned that? If by experience, then they must have good wifi in the after life! :-)

[@mikekeenanphd]

@@jennnyandjeffs It's ok up here, but I do have it cut out once or twice a week.

[@thevantran7174]

Again. Thank you very much for the information.

[@moniquehuchet3646]

Back in France my mother used to warn me that at death inheritance disputes were brought in by the in-laws “les rapportés “

[@RichardsWorld]

My sister earns almost $200K a year, already has two properties, and will inherit at current value $1 million in property. Her ex husband got someone else pregnant. Now she pretty much at the end of her years to get pregnant and won't have any kids. Her previous BF stole from her, and now she has a new BF. Me and my mother find it very hard to trust her current BF. My step-father seems to like him though. My sister is pretty good looking also. So we know some guys will notice she is a keeper.

[@kennethkirk4944]

A factor to consider is: how easy is it, under your state's laws, to get at the other party's inheritance in a divorce? States differ quite a bit on the standards for that. If it's difficult for those assets to be transmuted to marital property, less need to restrict the funds.

[@zoomlegend5255]

Is there a way to set up conditions on how money from the trust can be used?

[@zoomlegend5255]

April May get a shrink, idiot.

[@patrickreilly2739]

Wow ... Thanks. I've had those exact concerns about my children. Now I just need to accumulate something to leave them...???

[@rogerroger5649]

My mother has set up a trust with my sister and brother and myself as trustees. I have been married for 32 years and our relationship is strong so i dont have a worry about divorce at this point. But , I also know that any relationship can turn sour. I thought that anything that you had prior to the marriage would still be considered yours in a divorce but, anything accumulated during the marriage would be subject to being divided up in a divorce. So my question is, even if the inheritance is in a trust that it comes just to me but comes while I am married, doesn't anything that either partner receives during the marriage become party of that union/community property? I live just one state above you in AR btw.

[@dks13827]

Don't comingle that money.

[@72sunrise]

It stays yours until you co-mingle it with your spouse, then it's fair game. You should keep the funds in the trust or establish a new trust, and separate account (you only) and never mix it with your other "marriage" account. I would even caution withdrawing money or transferring money for household/husband use, in some cases they can argue that then your inheritance has been used and intended to be shared.

[@summerday3172]

In Calif there is another issue if the benificary dies intestate while the money in held in trust the spouse is entitled to 1/3 of his inheritence.

[@annawimpey5307]

In the end, if my sister in law outlives my brother, she will recieve control of half of my family's farm. It will go to her nephew due to they not having children of their own. Her nephew has special needs. My children are worried and rightfully so, my brother has no legal will.

[@jbtpa895]

Nothing matters if the POA before you die moves money to exclude someone else getting anything. Trying to take this to court is prohibitively expensive.

[@mariecarton8611]

It doesn't have to be. If you search on line there's a lot of information there to help you through the process. Do your due diligence and keep a cool head. Being in court isn't as scary as you might think and get as much help as possible from Court personnel . They're obliged to help you and if they don't then you can complain to the higher authorities and the Judge when you get into the courtroom.

[@astoldbynadia6310]

My in laws did something like this to me. Right before we got married they set things up so that I couldn't inherit gifts they gave my husband. Too bad for them I found out about it. I would have treated them like my blood..but now they will never get any help from me. Hopefully they have a good nursing home ligned up.

[@HomeImprovementInsider]

Great topic, however should get to the "how to" part more quickly.

[@henryetter1477]

What about community property states where the bad son in law will try to grab from other children do you want irrevocable or revocable trust?

[@SherCC]

I inherited my step father’s land after my mother passed away. the land is belong to his family for over 100 years. That’s how outsider got everything.

[@mbords01]

Sheryl Z, Your English is lot worse than mine. You must therefore pay tax; and take care of the property well.

[@spiritwings4592]

If you inherited from your stepfather property from your mother you should turn it back to his family. It was intended for his bloodline and I'm sorry but your not blood.

[@mbords01]

@@spiritwings4592Yes, by all means returning the property to the bloodline is the right thing to do.

[@justaoldguy8098]

@@spiritwings4592 If step-dad willed it to Sheryl, then, yes, it was intended for her. Bloodlines be damned. If she chooses, she can split the property with step-dad's natural children, if he has any.

[@AeriolNicols]

The property belongs to who it as willed to. Has nothing to do with blood. Fathered stepchild relationship can be closer than own blood.

[@sarasolomon4812]

I find this all fascinating, even though my parents and myself are of more modest means. No major inheritance going on for anybody. My husband and do have decent life insurance to provide for our children if something should happen to us, but no generational wealth. I'm kinda glad, though. More money, more problems. We get by with G-d's help, and my siblings and I have agreed not squabble over what little we eventually inherit.

[@maximhollandnederlandthene7640]

They all want your money, When relationship ends they want it all 😕

[@dks13827]

How do you know ? :(

[@legalfictionnaturalfact3969]

Another man crying. :-)

[@keltaruusutravels4024]

Some people think they are different and have to learn the hard way.

[@heide-raquelfuss5580]

Only people, with low quality of character do this. A real good hearted person will be not sucking the lufe out of you...Not even money wise. So, that means, do you research on a person. Keep your gut feeling open. Do not loose your head, when in love. Take good care of your assets. I am a single woman with 1 son of 23 years old. I was all ly life used in many ways. In very sneaky ways... I will now, secure everything fir me and my son. A possible partner, i would be telling nothing what i have. Low key living. So, i hope, he will be there for me and my son in an emotional matter. If i want, that he is secured, after i die, i will secretly do my best to do so, without knowing him. I will not allow bad manners anymore. I will never tell, if i have a property or money, or something for him, when i die. My son comes first anyway. I find that fair. My love and care, he can have, when i meet a good, trustworthy, caring, safe, intelligent, warm hearted man. I would make shure, that he would not end without roof above his head and so on... Bless you.

[@keltaruusutravels4024]

@@heide-raquelfuss5580 You have a great plan. Best wishes with it.

[@joete3324]

What if Felix married Amber in NON-Community property state but then move to a community Property State? is the LAW based on WHICH State? or Where they live?

[@noneedtoknow6098]

Thank you very much for sharing your valuable knowledge much appreciated. I have to get my will written up water tight as my ex wife & three disrespectful son's will be going for a Lion's share that'a for sure, when in fact I won't even give them a mention in my will let alone anything else..

[@baptisteindustriesllc.5074]

Hi, our mom recently passed, my mom appointed my blood brother, and blood sister her POA, however, my sister passed away in 2016, and our mom did not appoint any other child the POA. This fee- male my brother married, caused horrific undue injury in a car accident against our brother, in 2017, (they were the only 2 people in the car, and nothing at all happened to her). We asked, she said she blacked out. Our brother unfortunately, can not speak, walk, or drive, he can understand what is being said or ask of him, we of course, want to care for our brother, however, she says, I'm his wife, and I am his legal guardian. Another Kicker, Even though (2) months ago she visited our mom in the nursing home, and told our mom, she divorced our brother, and put HIM, in a nursing home. He has been there now for (8) months. Good info. In Illinois, Thank you!

[@leert2698]

Sounds like your poor brother got a prize winner like my brother did. I’m still praying for a divorce, she is a very mean individual.

[@rel53]

Can my child decide to buy a house using the monies in the trust but buy the house via the trust itself so in case of divorce, the house is not considered to be shared properties? Take it further, can the trust buy the property, have it rented to the couple as a way demonstrating its not a common property?

[@lisalee2885]

I had an interesting thing happen...😁😁 I am divorced 20 years. My in laws or ex in laws and I have still been very close. Spending holidays and living close. Taking them to Dr appt. etc...one day they called me from their attorney office and put me on speaker for us all. They asked to confirm my address and birthdate. Wanted to know if I remember their daughters date of death years ago. They wanted my cell number confirmed. That was it! I have seen them since but never wanted to ask WHATS UP...Lol! Anybody have idea??? 😁 They are alive and well in another state but their attorney is here local to me. Thanks 😁🇺🇸😁🇺🇸

[@seascape35]

I would ask them what that phone call from the lawyer's office was all about.

[@judevucovich7068]

How do you protect your children if you have 3 children and dividing it up 3 ways. How do you protect the other children from in laws, or married children’s wives/husband from influencing the, and cheating the other children out of their inheritance ?

[@annfrost3323]

You protect your children by leaving all required documentation signed with your specific desires and instructions. Yes, inheritance can be equally divided among three children. Include instructions regarding division if one of your children does not survive you: a) do you want to leave everything to the other two, or b) do you want to leave to the children of the deceased. Your choice.

[@cathybrown8334]

As a senior I’m leaving my money to a dog rescue. My daughter-in-law is salivating to get my money.

[@vintagegirl68]

To me, this is just sad and mean, people are more important.

[@luvtrump8658]

@@vintagegirl68 it’s Cathy’s prerogative!

[@maretvilla1531]

You should give it also to local organizations that help abused kids or women. Dogs are great but imagine the smile and gratitude from these less unfortunate when they receive special gifts from a stranger or a new donation that would help improve their way of living. My husband's parents supported a kid in an orphanage. The little boy grew up to become an FBI agent and he thanked them for their support. You just never know the life you can change and the good that person would bring into this world all because of your acts of kindness. Kindness is always the best way to sow and reap love.

[@AeriolNicols]

Dogs are the only ones who love unconditionally. Why not.

[@deezynar]

In a community property state, one spouse gets a nickel, both of them have the nickel.

[@sharoncrawford3042]

Thats right. Im doing my dads estate now. Its small. But like I told my husband, whats mine is yours too. He dont care or need it. But it all goes in one pot.

[@deezynar]

@@sharoncrawford3042 I live in a community property state, what I earn is shared with my wife. What she earns is shared with me. I've seen couples operate their finances separately and it leads to resentment. The law cannot make anyone act with care, compassion, and self control.

[@carolweaver3269]

Thank you. Good advice.

[@NeedsMoreToys]

What about Family Limited Partnerships?

[@queen.kristal8395]

Honestly it’s up the your kid but if he passes away it usually goes to the wife and kids if he has any.I don’t see the problem sharing of they will be together for the rest of their life’s.marriage is sharing money and working together as well not just love it sounds like you don’t want her to get anything

[@lynnpeppa1]

… Don’t commingle the inheritance.....been there, done that ......it worked.

[@jenniferlee7167]

My Great Grandfather's trust allowed only blood members of the family to inherit. Once our great-grandmother died in 1996, (our great-grandfather died in 1979), the trust was distributed. This was in Indiana. My grandfather (his son) died and my grandmother who married him got nothing in her eighties by then and it passed to my father. My brother and I are blood relatives but I doubt there will be much left to pass on as our mother comingled the funds and used much of the money.

[@MrBrian987987]

How much was in the trust? Did it initially grow nicely? What were the funds used for normally? With the stock market up it may have very well grown in value?

[@jenniferlee7167]

@@MrBrian987987 It was a large sum of money and I doubt it was invested in the stock market. My great-grandfather was born in 1884. He was a very successful businessman, however conservative. The trust divided the funds among quite a few people by then. The funds were not used for anything except accumulation or for business interests at the time.

[@stevenhuckaby2902]

Lots of people marry someone solely on the other persons economic value, wealth

[@jontiffinphoto]

Happens every time a woman decides to say yes. Hypergamy has been alive and well for centuries.

[@junehitchcock170]

That’s called gold digging!

[@gjsprophet5422]

Will you comment on utilizing a Trust Protector? We have specified a Trust Protector for the purpose of avoiding the Trust proceeds falling into the son-in-law's hands in the event of divorce.

[@carguy4658]

Can it be to keep out the brother-in-law, but not the sister-in-law?

[@cayennenaturetrails8953]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good Information!! :)

[@sandrajenkins4521]

My great uncle had no children, wife pss away before him and left to his niece and she left it to her 2 oldest and 1 put other siblings on mom will before she passed away and her lawyer had added her grand kids even the ones that was not born before she passed away how can this be legal? So is a person will sound proof that those on a will will receive what was left to them? or making sure your not leaving those you do not know only what you decide to leave for inheritance and how do you find out what you have inherent in someone will if you know they left one.? And can you refuse an inheritance if someone left an will but you or an the inherent doesn't want it what can they do to not accept the inheritance from a will?

[@karenhakola3895]

I’m married and if I die, I would like to leave my half to my grandchildren. Or would it be best to leave it to my married son, in a trust with him signing a declaration.

[@richardcranium5839]

what about naming amber in the will to recieve ONLY one us dollar??? wouldnt that exclude amber from touching the rest?

[@buyerbware25]

Don't count on it. Unless the will is executed in a state in which an heir or potential heir risks forfeiting an inheritance when contesting a will, Amber might be able to drag things out in court until the legitimate heirs become fewer in number, even if she gets little or nothing as a result. A more effective way of excluding Amber would be to keep all assets not POD, TOD or jointly owned in a trust; wills are public documents, trusts are not, so Amber would never be entitled to know what was in the trust, much less demand to get what was in it.

[@richardcranium5839]

@@buyerbware25 trusts can be sued then the court rules of discovery can be used to see all.

[@buyerbware25]

@@richardcranium5839 Are you implying that someone can sue a trust without the plaintiff knowing the names of the trustees or the name of the trust?

[@wandaherring7526]

My father left my sister an irrevocable trust. She is a drug addict. She with a lawyer, clerk of court and a judge broke the irrevocable trust and she got the money.

[@nancymcgrath6283]

Very sad

[@karenhakola3895]

Thank you for your insight.

[@davidpowell3347]

Felix' parents leaving to Felix' children (parent's grandchildren) possibly by Trust would be great protection against Amber's children ending up with the inheritance?

[@qkim6546]

I wish we have a South Korean law. Inheritance is never a marital property.

[@lynnmcentire4014]

Most of your advice seems to be for those with large estates. What about every day people?

[@heathergustafson4237]

Really smart idea, will do that

[@adorablyadorable5665]

A good way to get made is to allow an inlaw to have access to a will.

[@dalepres1]

In my will, I'm going to leave you all of my shirts so you can have more than one - or at least more than one color. 😁

[@rithachavannes84]

I have a house and I have only one Felix who would do anything Amber tells him to. . I want to leave the house to the grandchildren who are minors. How to ensure that Felix and Amber don’t sell the house. I don’t even want them to live in the house. I should have said we.