How to know when to trust someone

[@PaigeSquared]

Understanding this aspect of childhood development was so important for my own parenting behaviors. I became appalled with my toddler's sass, I believed i had somehow severely failed him because he was willing to disrespect me in ways i would have *never dared* to be with my mother. It took me a few months of frustration before I remembered that i was terrified of my mother; the reason i behaved was because i knew if i was honest about my needs, i would be ostracized. That is still true, decades later. My mother and i have butted heads a few times over how i parent. She doesnt understand why i cant just bulldoze his real lived experience. Because he is human, too. She used to be the epitome of put together in my eyes, and i am so thankful that i can see beyond her controlled reality now.