How to Live a Meaningful Life AND Achieve Your Goals

[@RachelleinTheory]

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[@karenlebeter4196]

Goal setting was so important when I was younger. At 72 my family is most important. Staying healthy long enough to know they will be okay in the future and getting my genealogy research organized for sending to family (don't think I will live long enough to write a book due to serious heart problems).

[@sidneybales9062]

Make sure you have one person who is aware of the genealogy information (one person) as you work on it. My mother did a ton of research but didn't show anyone where it was. When mother died, We had to go through paper after paper after paper to compile this information. It was a headache.

[@plainjaneproud]

I was noticing while taking the quiz that many things I prioritize are not necessarily because I value them but because they are a substitute for something I truly value. For example I am a tidy and organized person so at first I thought I valued that. Then I realized that what I really value is peace, security, and appreciation and I do house cleaning or organizing because it's a shortcut for me to feel somewhat peaceful, secure or gain appreciation from others. But, I don't necessarily value the orderliness itself. What I need to do is start planning my day putting in the things I truly value first. So instead of starting out with cleaning (although that still matters to me), maybe I should start with meditation or prayer to get a true sense of peace.

[@PowerGurhl]

Wow I like your idea here it’s insightful because I’m similar

[@SoMagicalMichele]

I noticed similar. I found some of my values were also within my value. One of mine is wisdom which wins out over curiosity but also is possible because of curiosity. It was interesting to look at it in this way. I took it twice, the first time with most of the values clicked, the second without some that were obviously not strong values. I got 4 of the same words. The one that changed was inner harmony vs spirituality. I realized that for me, having that inner harmony requires spirituality and I actually decided to call it spiritual harmony.

[@kerenbanget1]

THE BEST OF THE BEST OF ALL VIDEOS RELATED TO GOAL SETTING.

[@lexitakamatsu7045]

This is brilliant. It didn’t click for me until I took the test, discovered my own values, and reframed my own goals… and I magically became excited about doing them. Thank you!!!

[@SoMagicalMichele]

Oh I liked this. I couldn't wrap my brain around health goals. My top values are peace, spiritual harmony, inclusion, wisdom, and certainty. I will enjoy revamping my goals to include these values.

[@AllTheArtsy]

I tried the website you suggested and it pretty much nailed my vaues: peace, authenticity, curiosity, family and creativity. (Other core values were wisdom, independence, freedom, discipline and courage) Pusuing a life to be more and more aligned to our own value systems is a much more satisfying way to structure goals, rather than thinking of "how can I be more productive?" or other seemingly fleeting and arbitrary reasons when goal setting.

[@uvideo100]

It is our responsibility to take care of your body. Our bodies are our vehicles to do good and enjoy this life. When I was your age, I was less inclined to take care of my body, but more into exploring the world. Today, after having lost a few teeth to natural causes and knowing that no new teeth will grow at my age, I understand the value of keeping good health. It is not only the teeth, but also the knees and hips that have also started to act up. About your approach to link friendship with health, ironically it was the reverse for me. My wife and I engaged a private online yoga tutor, but because of my wife’s health she could not continue so we stopped our yoga sessions. The tutor was also friendly so it was one factor to motivate us to attend our sessions. It has been two months since we stopped the sessions, and unfortunately since then I have not done done yoga or any other exercise. In my situation, my value was health, but we became friends with the instructor as a side-effect. In fact, in one poem it says to walk alone even if your friends don’t walk with you when you are walking on the path of truth.

[@SoMagicalMichele]

Even with bad health and very few teeth, I still haven't been able to value health. I'm grateful for this video so I can find ways to get the health my body needs because 30 years of health issues didn't change my values. Maybe using what I do value will allow me to get another 51 years in good health.

[@amandas3804]

Several years ago, I did some deep work to figure out my values. It was surprisingly difficult! I thought I knew my values, until it was time to articulate them. I landed on six, but after a year or so, I realized that one of them felt more like a "should" have value rather than an *actual* value, so I dropped it. Over time, I've wondered if I could narrow it down even further. I definitely know which value is my central, core value, and when I'm living that one out, things tend to go better. (Of course!) Another great video--really appreciate the depth of your videos!

[@averyintelligence]

Can I ask what your core value is?

[@amandas3804]

​@@averyintelligence yeah, I don't mind sharing. It's "authenticity," which I came to in sort of a roundabout way. (Sorry if this is too long, but I feel like context matters here. Also, I think this helps explain why it's hard to pinpoint values.) I was brainstorming words such as openness, honesty, etc. I was thinking about the environment I was in at the time (a doctoral program) and how there was a sense of hiding things and pretending in the environment (hiding family or personal background, pretending you understand some opaque, poorly written article because you don't want to look dumb, etc) and how I found that very "fake." I had come to the doctoral program after working for over a decade, and when I started the program, I told myself I wasn't going to pretend I understood things I didn't, etc. And I was doing a good job at that! I was living out my goal! But as I was working through various values lists and that sort of thing, I realized that what I really valued was being AUTHENTIC ("true to one's own personality, spirit, or character"). And I found I most connected with other students who felt authentic to me. Also, "authenticity" relates to what I enjoy doing too. I spin yarn and knit, sew, etc. I value wool, cotton, silk, linen--natural materials (authentic, as in "not false or imitation" the way that polyester is). And I enjoy tactile, film photography over digital photography. Although film photography can be manipulated (pictorialism vs. straight photography has been a debate since its beginning), there is something "real" about handling the film, mixing the chemistry. (It's probably not a surprise that I'm not a fan of AI "writing" or "art." Artificial is in the name!) While I'm on a babbling roll, one other thing came up. I kept bumping up against the value of "creativity." It's such a common value, and it's part of my life as an artist. It seemed like it should be on the list! But I realized that while "creativity" as a noun is great, but what I actually value is CREATING. Making, doing, physical acts and practices... A verb. So now I'm stuck with this list of mostly nouns and this one random verb. It makes the whole list feel off, but it doesn't annoy me enough to make me fix it. At least not right now.

[@amandas3804]

@@7SP7 I detailed some of what I did above. It was just really thinking about things, questioning whether I was putting something down because I "thought" it should be a value, making sure to get the exact wording I wanted, etc. And it meant bumping up against ideas that are very ingrained in my culture (American) and doing the emotional work to realize it's OK to not want something most people would say I "should" want.

[@Emileigggggh]

This looks so helpful for me - I was thinking about my perfectionism lately, and how annoying it is when people go "well your work WILL suck at first, you just gotta keep doing it blah blah" and how wildly unhelpful that is for me. First, I don't think it's true that work just keeps getting better, but the big thing for me is that I can't make it about the "quality" of the thing itself, and getting hung up on that or on other technical aspects keeps me from the true reasons I want to do the thing and the true parts that matter. My KZbin videos don't have to be masterful pieces of art, but they should share the messages that I'm passionate about and build community and let others know they aren't alone. So this exercise that focuses on those values seems super helpful for me, thank you!

[@lenam.r.6693]

Your videos have been super helpful this year!! So glad I found your channel!! ❤

[@morganwentworth2041]

A couple of my values are determination, challenge, achievement, and recognition, and I think that means I need to celebrate my wins much louder in the goals I undertake this year

[@uvideo100]

In reality for some of us including me, once we get into the grind of meeting our expenses, and cost cutting any further doesn’t seem like an option, the goal becomes being able to pay our bills, and the eternal values of doing our job and every interaction outside of work with truth, honesty, etc. are all that matters.

[@jimdevivo]

Great video; great quiz. Thank you!

[@megamusicmessenger]

I really liked the idea at the end where to pick the goal first and then connect it back to my values . I never thought about doing it like that

[@artemisceleste]

Superb video. The quiz was eye opening as I could see places in my life where I am not living my values and it’s causing a great sense of disconnection.

[@sunnydanisummers]

I started listening to “Real Self-Care” after seeing it in a video. I can’t even start to explain how life changing that moment was. Thank you so much!!! Your channel was a lifeline when I hit burnout.

[@JustMeEl]

That was great! I need to get that book and definitely fine tuning my goals! Thanks so much ! ❤

[@corylcreates]

One thing I've been working through in therapy this year is to work through my low self-esteem and negative self-image. There's no point in my listing out everything I value if, at the core of it, I don't prioritize myself. I told my therapist recently "If it mattered to me, I would do it. The fact that I'm not doing it must mean that it doesn't matter enough, so why try?" The problem isn't that the goal lacks value to me. It's that I lack value *in myself* to go for the things I care about. My goals matter because I matter and what I value matters. But it's taking me a while to get on board with that and implement it into my daily life.

[@plainjaneproud]

Thank you for pointing this out. I struggle with it as well. It's hard to work on things we value when we don't feel like our values matter much (to others or ourselves).

[@averyintelligence]

You may want to checkout the book Psycho Cybernatics by Dr Maxwell Maltz. It's a book with practical techniques on how to improve self image/esteem. It's available as free audiobook on KZbin.

[@MommaBeeb]

Thank you for this video! It came at a great time as I’m exploring what my values are to set better goals in 2024. I had started listening to “Real Self-Care” and felt like the values portion was one of the most important things she talks about.

[@akami397]

Thank you so much Rachelle! This is so valuable, especially if you are feeling lost on what to make your goals about

[@ximenalobato1741]

This is an EXCELLENT video. Thank you, Rachel! You’ve given me lots to think about .

[@jennyhaugen8765]

Thank you for this video! This past week I was seeing which goal categories in 2023 were successful and which were less than successful as I move toward goal-setting for 2024. It was very evident that two categories were severely lacking in 2023, and I was trying to figure out how to get better traction in those areas. Your video came at the perfect time and I look forward to using the methods you mentioned in your video -- especially the one where I would work backwards from the goal itself.

[@ethan-lyn]

My husband and I have both been finding your videos helpful! Also, I just want to thank you for the heads up and timestamp you gave when the topic of weight came up. I think that was a lovely way to handle that, and as someone in ED recovery, I noticed and appreciated that.

[@katismith]

It's funny that this is the video that came up just, now. I just did one of those values quizzes, yesterday. And have been mulling over what to do with it. Kismet. I think so.

[@ashleyalexandermorris9645]

I took the quiz and it had health as one of my values but as I listened to your video I realized that I *want* health but it's not a value that motivates me either. Which was kind of shocking to me 😅 But I like your suggestion of using other values for health related goals!

[@kellyrees4619]

Speaking of Brilliant...This was a brilliant video. Thank you, Rachelle! As always, you've found a new way to help us evaluate the same old goals and now I'm inspired because it just makes sense. Thanks again!

[@nan7022]

A great video! I liked how you explained everything. The values test site was interesting. My results seemed to describe me pretty well. Thank you for linking to it. 🙂

[@gayleyip6689]

This was very helpful as I work through my goals for the next trimester. Thanks for you positive value approach.

[@BLoren]

This was a great video, very helpful. Thanks, Rachelle! I think the example you gave about working out not being an intrinsic value was really eye opening for me. There's a lot of things I strive to do better at each year, but the day to day motivation isn't there. I think this reframe will help a lot.

[@valerie7918]

I’ve been reading Real Self Care the past few days per your recommendation and wow! It’s life changing! I’m curious if you are still in your common planner and how you might adapt the goal pages to work with this values-first sort of goal planning.

[@carriebirchler]

Super helpful! Thank you, Rachel!

[@KendallW]

Great video and concept: make your values the "why" for your goals. I've also thought more about making my goal the activity vs the result, and making sure the activity is something I will enjoy enough to keep going :)

[@mzamilbr]

Hi Rachel question what is the grid paper you using? Thanks

[@MargAbbottYou]

Wow, your piece about health not being a core interest/value rang with me. Love your strategy of wrapping it round enjoying bonding with people. For me too that would make that way more compelling for me! Love your channel! (A fan from the UK) ❤

[@freebird7207]

So happy to see you back 🤗💝

[@ChantelleArts]

this is fantastic, it looks wonderful ❤❤

[@sameeralazawee7524]

Very good >>>> Thank you .

[@Linartowijaya]

just curious... ancestor altar set up, what kind of practice do you do ? Great video btw... Me myself trying to set a new goal just hours before you upload... 😄

[@officew0rk786]

Love your vids!

[@corgikun2579]

10:00 I see this part similar to the "golden circle" by Simon Sinek; moving outwards: why, how, what (an inside-out approach). Great video, thanks for the value list

[@darcyreadssometimes3904]

Super useful

[@adank23]

Interesting how the circle exercise is the exact opposite of Simon Sinek’s Golden Circle 😮

[@BelethiumOxide]

Fuck yesssss ancestor altar ✊️❤ same

[@asiasias]

Just wanted to point out that the author’s last name would be pronounced as ‘Luck-shmin’ :)

[@schuhujin5019]

What about the 17 sustainability goals of the united nations? Pick only one of them and work on it and deepen it a whole year and you have meaning in your life the whole year. Pick another next year. This way you might find values, goals and meaning in your entire life. .