How to Outsmart Toxic People [ Passive Aggressive Behavior

[@juneelle370]

It’s a really big red flag-one of the biggest-when people can’t stand your happiness or success!!!

[@jennifermonahan6235]

The toxic person does not deserve our positive attitude. These tactics are good to use while making moves and plans to end the relationship. The toxic relationship is not worth your while. Choose an exit date and commit to it. You will have sufficient time to plan and fortify your positive attitude. These people do not exist in reality. If they were a fly you would have swatted them out of your existence already, not turn it into a pet.

[@CarmelaBianchi]

OMG! The ignoring scenario! To the 'T'. At one point in my relationship, I naturally did the 'walk away and find something else to do' when I was intentionally ignored, and I later got asked if I felt ignored because I walked away. Inside I was thinking "you conniving brat!" But I replied "oh, not at all I just found something I wanted to check out. I didn't even notice you weren't around". The confused look was amazing! Sad we have to resort to this pretentious behavior though 😔

[@PirateJohnson]

You sound like a POS, yourself. If you can actually take that constructive criticism, you'd probably benefit greatly. Fighting fire with fire is going to leave you and the other person both atop of 2 piles of ash, still bitching and blaming EachOther for what was done.

[@jeckellstallworth]

This takes so much self-control and endurance, but truly...there is no other way! It takes great mental strength.

[@bmoremom8458]

Also, THANK them for helping you accomplish do a,b or c and they will stop whatever behavior is irritating you. For example, my father in law would come unannounced to our house to annoy me. So, I thanked him for babysitting, so I could finish packing for a weekend trip we were getting ready for. His face of disgust was awesome. I just smiled in delight. He hasn’t come back unannounced 😀!

[@diharmony5532]

Gratitude is powerful! Lol))

[@NikaPikaTika]

Beautiful counterattack 🤞🏽

[@valeriegaddy8833]

LOL...Good Tips

[@justsomerandominternetuser6379]

Bmore Mom I’m gonna use this, I hope that’s ok. Clever. Same with the sunglasses trick as I have Autism and epilepsy and other medical issues.

[@miraclesforus2]

Lobotomy try trolling a dictionary site.

[@carlspencer8811]

On the topic of timing, I remember one strategy from the guitarist and improvised music legend Derek Bailey, when 2 other musicians, Han & Evan, arrived to a recording session 1 hour late, as soon they arrived he packed his guitar up and said to them "see you in an hour, i'm having my lunch"

[@adembasou-JesusLebtUndRettet]

Wonderfull

[@carolvevle8190]

I'm expanding my career & redoing my office. Meeting nicer people & taking no BS. Boundaries are set in stone. If I say something it's short. On social media, I go on ocassionally: joke, tell how happy I'm & expanding my career successfully, without saying any information. I refuse to argrue, because I refuse to feed the beast. Redoing myself, for the better.

[@edithnagy4172]

You don't have to look at the look you feel it.

[@edithnagy4172]

I forgot a word I meant you can feel it

[@Ryan.j.Smithson]

absolutely even in the dark from behind your back even when they are speaking to someone else you feel in like laser on your back

[@abseiduk]

Yes, it hits your guts, causes emotional termoil inside you.

[@bmoremom8458]

Wear sunglasses or respond while you walk away from them, it does not give them the supply/energy they want to steal from you. I’ve learned this unplanned. I see them squirm or laugh nervously, because they missed their target. If they can’t have eye contact with you, they can’t shoot.

[@eeaotly]

Bmore Mom Nice! So, basically, when you buy sun-glasses you also buy narc-glasses? Now I understand why my former narc boss did not liked that I weared sunglasses. Apparently, she considered them to be offending. I told her that I need them because I have sensibility to light (which is true), but still, she barelly accepted it and only after several other people confirmed it. Should I mention that she was also behaving like we were rivals of some sort? Yup, she did so from the very beginning, despite the fact that she was the one who hired me. And maybe she needed to see my eyes in order to read my thoughts and plan her next reply...

[@bmoremom8458]

@@eeaotly Thanks for sharing confirmation! Yes, they must see your eyes (the window to your soul) to extract the supply of praise/worship or release their insidious abuse, so they want to see your fear, pain, anger, etc... Yeah narc-shield-glasses!

[@valeriegaddy8833]

I....LOVE...Mines...I...Smiled....and... Shook... My...Head...At...A...HATER....SO...Pitiful.. And... CRAZY

[@mamas_quilts3573]

@@eeaotly im getting me some sunglasses!

[@mamas_quilts3573]

@Tewdy Quew seems cowardly but really its a smart way to stay away

[@freeyourmind790]

today I finally had the strength to dump my narcissist girlfriend. going no contact starts now! I have blocked her and deleted on everything. its time to move on with my life. my mind and soul is still very messed up tho, I'm so mentally drained i feel numb. I really need to heal.. if anyone can help me or give me advise I appreciate it, and I'm glad I can be apart of this community. if anyone could comment it would mean the world to me. I hope everyone has a good day, remember to love yourself

[@purvamandlik4696]

It's been 9 months since you posted. I hope you are doing well.

[@angelashort1331]

Don't let yourself slump into guilt , for stepping away . GET SLEEP , VIT B1 , AND GOOD MUSIC , I listen to Beautiful compositions , John Williams Hans Zimmer , serve the deserving ,include yourself . . Eat non toxic food , ease up on yourself. Be a giver , to others and don't forget yourself . , ❤❤❤

[@franklooking4light851]

I once heard the quote "Don't Oil the Squeaky Wheel" and I think it relates to the topic Intentional Mistakes. I fixed the mistakes of the narcissist at work and by doing that they became my responsibility and part of my duties. It took me a long time to figure out that it was a trick.

[@No8495]

I love it Michelle! My x used to do this when we would go on walks together or went places together all the time. I remember right after our honeymoon I was excited to go to the grocery store together and cook a meal together. When we got to the store he literally ran off from me. I couldn't find him and I was so hurt,confused and devastated by this behavior. I just realized this memory was a toxic behavior of him ignoring me on purpose to control my emotions and steal my joy away. It still hurts when I think of it. Your videos and words to use against the toxic Narcassist are so great!!! Thank you!

[@sheilaprice1942]

Wow! Sounds like I married is brother 😄 Blessings to you 🙏🏼🥰

[@No8495]

@@sheilaprice1942 Lol. I think it's pure evil and that's why there are multiple people doing the exact same behavior. Lol

[@carlspencer8811]

I've put a lot of this into use, definitely works, i'm not absorbing their B.S. nor losing control of my own world. They start moody, then unpleasant towards me, then self-pity, then some acting out towards inanimate objects (slamming a door, passive-aggressively put the dishes away), and when they realise they aren't getting what they want, they stomp off in a huff, often for about 5-15 minutes, then come back as if nothing occurred. I suppose that 5-15 minutes is as long as they can last before having to face who they really are, because when they come back they are in total mirror mode.

[@Rahel8811]

Carl Spencer sounds familiar it’s exhausting also just observing and not responding..

[@carlspencer8811]

@@Rahel8811 I know what you mean, but I think as a tool it is incredibly helpful to keep them at bay. I think of it as like body-suits police wear to train their dogs...yes you can still feel the bite through the suit, but were you not wearing it you'd probably have your whole arm ripped off!

[@lizliz8195]

You are just so so right. All the silent treatment that he does to me is because im focusing on me and how i wanted it to end and how much it makes me so anxious and so confuse and hurtful. Now that i know his game all i need to do is focus on what can i do 'at that moment" to make me happy. Thats the key word. Thanks very much. Its so helpful. And when he smear me and is counting on my old responses to explode, that is exactly what i will not do.

When we tell toxic people what hurts us, they do it more yess OMG how sad this is 😐

[@Mike-xt2lh]

Sumeyye Unfortunately 😞

[@victoriavitoroulis3273]

Exactly .. they store in their mind fk ery bank

[@mamas_quilts3573]

@@victoriavitoroulis3273 how can they stand being that way...i dont get it

[@davidu8688]

Like they can't help it, it's havit and insecurities that they need to address which sooner or later they will hopefully if people do not allow it.

David U yes 🙄

[@SandeepSinghArtist]

I've done this... It totally drains the toxic people. Throughout that gathering... But I do feel strong vibes from everywhere.

[@SandeepSinghArtist]

I can also relate to being ig ores in public. With mg family, Its like i have to tag along everywhere obey them and they make sure they keep you ignored and tagged along at the same time. And when I tried to move. They woiod either bully me to stay with then or give fake assurance. Sounds childish but it applies to all situations and gatherings as you gown up with a toxic family. I never had a say in my own choices. Ad now im so confused what they actually are. Coming bacj on track with them...

[@silentgrove7670]

I am noticing this lose of energy around two people lately. To avoid it on Saturday I felt I had to put a shield around my heart as I realized everything I said was being discounted. I am particularly sensitive to voice tones of people recently. Hearing how people speak to each other often feels hostile or passive aggressive with me. I noticed the person I am closest with when I speak with them my happiness increases and I do not feel I must shield my heart. Thank you for your strategies.

[@izawaniek2568]

Yes, that is true. Toxic people will not treat you in a healthy way. They are ill people and we must humbly accept it.

[@keithcooper2192]

It’s great that you ( Michele ) refer to them and not him all the time. This behavior is not gender specific.

[@Sparkle835]

"Hold on to your energy." I love that.

[@Feequilts]

I give him a mark out of 10 (in my mind) and if he needs it, an Oscar. He gave me the look the other day but because he was about 20 metres a way, he added excessive shoulder slumps and a humph. I’d just watched your last video and breathed then laughed under my neutral facial expression. The funny thing was if he’d asked me about his situation beforehand, he wouldn’t have had the problem. Thanks, Michele!

[@melindamara8802]

It is frustrating when they will not pull their weight but then act like you are the one toxic. Or they will not even speak and do something they think will irritate you walking by. Like one person thinks whistling irritates me so specifically they will whistle while only walking by me. Ignoring them doesn't stop them.

[@nataliac3870]

What's best working for me is to keep the control of the situation and don't burst. When I keep my cool I feel powerful, this way they don't ruin my mood. Also lately I've had problems with a person who's trying to take advantage of me, he keeps on going into the personal zone and I maintain him in the professional level

[@cassandraworthy6603]

oh my gosh when you spoke on the silent treatment. I remember with my ex when she would either start chaos or start the silent treatment. I would disengage with it and not allow it to bother me. I would grab my favorite book and begin reading. It was fine for a while, but eventually, she stopped giving me the silent treatment and started attacking me reading lol What a low. But I never understood it until now - thank you!

[@violetamethyst1186]

There is a special place in hell for people who interrupt a good book! I am glad you aren't with that person anymore! Read on! 📖💜

[@sheldor73]

Yup, and they never change. Have to walk away from these people.

[@hcmangs3634]

Wow, you nailed it! I’ll need to listen to this weekly, this is spot on!! More of this please. Thank you!! (Dealing with covert narc parents and very toxic narc sibling, which are way more difficult than my narc spouse, the parent-sibling triangulation & enablement keeps getting me angry & very sad)

[@williamherring2349]

"The only way to stop them is to stop cleaning up after them".That was deep wow!

[@nancyalywahby2784]

Your examples are right on, e.g. they answer as "you think too much" and say like everything is my fault.

[@JenniferDelilah]

Always moving things around so that I couldn’t do things efficiently, especially in the kitchen. Or starting a big project like moving all of the furniture around, then leaving it in an uncomfortable and sometimes dangerous state, so I had to spend the entire rest of the day cleaning it up while he ignored me and sat there like an iceberg at the computer doing something so much more important than anything that I could possibly be doing, even though I was paying all the bills.

[@heather2050]

Love this! Unfortunately toxic people are all around us. I've had ex boyfriends, coworkers, and family like this. It is so confusing when it happens and can be so hurtful. I am always eager to learn more about how to combat this toxicity! Thank goodness for this education and these tools! They will get what is coming to them eventually, and I do not want to be anywhere near them when they do.

[@somasheber9043]

They just too ill to live with them damn they need all of that studying !!how complicated these persons

[@lindabarnes8877]

I would apply these techniques particularly in respect of the 'look' & the 'moods,' however, this would often escalate the issue. While nothing would happen publicly, my 'non-response' would be construed as my not caring etc which would often produce days long monologues of abuse. So, while it might work in the moment, it was dreadful afterward. How would you deal with the repercussions of these very valid options that our narcissists will obviously very much dislike?

[@jennifersoens6692]

Get out of the relationship.

[@lindabarnes8877]

@@jennifersoens6692 Thank-you Jennifer. I am out of it thankfully and am well on the way to healing now. 💙💙

[@jennifersoens6692]

Sooooo glad to hear that!!! 💜💜

[@karenbonham1359]

Run don’t walkm

[@jdwright3277]

I'm so sorry to hear of that pain I understand what you're going through.

[@europanzz]

I remember when i went back home after a few years.. and mum got me aside and delightedly and with a cheeky grin told me how she invited all the ladies of her bowling club back for lunch.. she made them opossum stew.. and she didnt tell them till after they had eaten it... and she recounted with great delight , the horror on their faces! she planned and plotted it.. and executed it.. and had no qualms or guilt about it... and those women in the bowling club were so nice!!

[@utkalikasharma5122]

God bless you.. Not pointing out what bothered you and giving a different reason for the boundaries is the one I needed right now..

[@dereklemire6]

I tottally felt alone my whole marriage but I've stooped to her level cuzz I was drinking which I stopped since the last time I realized me acting like the narracist cuzz my emotions turned to anger I apologized cuzz I knew I was wrong cuzz really not that person and grey rocked her since it's been two weeks and now she's trying to call me again acting like there worried about me as if I'm dead in my house smh I called this ahead of time I need a lot of healing thanks for all your help

[@shortchanged9889]

Hang in there brother, my deflection shield was popping a beer when she started raging.. working on changing that since the divorce is in the works.. thank gawd...!! MUCHO thx to Michelle..!

[@dereklemire6]

U too buddy it's been a rough 7 years with mines she's been gone only two months been no contact but she needs to be off my family plan so she had to call today didn't answer but she'll find her way tomorrow she's keeping me strung along by a dumb phone bill she needs to get off cuzz it's so bad I want my money but don't want to have to see her for it every once a month so that needs to go now she's on Facebook with exes for friends and we both never used it before I never did anyways still don't much love brother

[@shortchanged9889]

Stay strong, dont give in to your ego telling you "one day she understand how I tried to help her".. there will be no reward at the end of this for you if you give into her. I stuck around 30 yrs and it has seriously taken a toll on my happines, financial and health well being..

[@dereklemire6]

Sorry to hear that idk how anyone can deal with a narcissist she was slowly killing me couldn't get any of my goals achieved until she was gone crazy but I'm sure u can relate

[@cestmagnifique7932]

Very good - Thanks for teaching us how to play this bl00dy game

[@kaylaciara5868]

My mom was the QUEEEN of passive aggression, it’s funny I’ve been doing these things subconsciously my whole life. 😅

[@joshuafusselman3323]

Great tips, albeit I think rather than be completely dishonest about their toxic behavior, I can, if pressed, admit that their behavior is inappropriate, but then follow up with saying that I've decided to not let it bother me.

[@tontay-wp6tm]

Wow! Thankyou sooo much I can’t believe how these exact situations have arisen with 2 toxic people in my life and how I handled it so wrong because I was hurt 😞 I thank you for the help and will try these ideas ❤

[@jasonroman3639]

I hope you were never ignored like you are teaching us about.

[@angelaverdugo7774]

You just described my situation!! I literally was ignored all day by the narcissist like I wasn’t even there on the trip with him! Him and his friend ignored me at the bar that night too so I made a new friend! He hated my happiness then got into a bad argument with me when we left leaving me looking like the crazy one!

[@sherrytaylor3738]

Thanks Michelle! This was a great refresher for rusty unused tools in my toolbox. I enjoy your clarity and easy presentation style.

[@pinkrose4322]

This is SO spot on!!! Great advice! Thanks!!

[@danielborrowdale3903]

Don't play their game, just leave. Normal people want to improve themselves or just be a normal adults. We all grow up with issues but we decide how we treat people and how we want to be treated. Reverse sychology, silent treatment that's playing there game it is easy to be a child like them don't make them wonder leave them they can wonder when your gone. Don't try to fix.

[@ASortedCollection]

This is perfect advice and spot-on regarding passive-aggressive toxic people.

[@brettschayot8298]

There is nothing I hate more than gossip. I'm too busy for gossip. My mother loves to gossip, it's all she does when I talk to her. In fact, she doesn't even care about talking to me unless I have gossip to share. I don't talk to her much anymore, and a lot of that has to do with the fact I don't get involved with her constant gossip.

[@nancyalywahby2784]

I just discovered your videos on narcissist behaviors. This is so right on. EACH ONE. e.g. Passive aggressive behavior. NB Husband doesn't bring is cell, or won't answer it, and gets angry if I leave the spot he told e to "stay" he gets angry and I can't reach him by phone. He doesnt respond, Often and got a new phone upgrade. He will interfere with the relationship with my son by agreeing talk with me with him by phone and keep changing the time, or date. Treating my son badly by this and son seems very annoyed and not as close as before.

[@valerie4545]

Wow! I just realized my not yet teenage son fits then I’ll of a covert passive aggressive. He has been difficult to raise since he was little. But I would allow his excuses and try to help. Th the info have gotten really bad lately. I’ve been working on boundaries and for a little while he was shaping up. But now he is worse than ever. I needed tools! Searching for tools has not been easy. This video is so easy to understand and give actual tips on how to respond. I’m so glad!! I am going to watch again and take notes. Thank you so much Michelle! You have helped me a lot! Love you!!!

[@truthserum5855]

My younger sister deliberately made me late to our parent's 50th anniversary celebration after I flew in out of state; I was assigned the reading. I missed the service entirely, and she blamed other circumstances, including her daughter sleeping late. I was too far away from the location to call a cab, and I had zero sleep for 24 hours; she had no empathy, and didn't care. So when her daughter's wedding came around, I didn't show up, and neither did I for her son's wedding, who would scoff at me during family get togethers; I didn't even send a gift. Sometimes living in another state away from family of origin is the best thing, ever.

[@dictionplacement5467]

this video honestly gave me ptsd, I was raised by narcissists, worked in a warehouse for 3yrs with gaslighting toxic people that acted like this, you reminded me of a woman that did all this to me and it just grew hate inside myself. seriously don't know what I'm even doing here anymore, I hate life and people so much. everyone wants to take my time, money, my soul. wish i had the balls

[@ilovelearning7463]

I get this and I definitely will be applying it. Great message⚘❤

[@sakthic8866]

The thing u said they will walk ahead of u and need to follow Iam shattered into pieces everytime when my husband does it for me I feel that I dnt deserve to be loved by him but now iam clear I had to move on and be myself

[@janicemurphy4373]

Thank you so very much Michelle, people can take away your joy and peace with just one look, I have allowed them to do just that, I have listened to many of your videos and they have helped me so much, but this one is one of my favorites!!!!! Thank you so very very much for your wonderful insight and wisdom you really are a wonderful person!!!!

[@sidrarashid5840]

Michele you are an angel 😭

[@canadianlady777]

Wow...you are spot on about the intentional mistakes...I used the phrase ‘agitate me’...or goad me into objecting...

[@vibekes2416]

The silent treatment must be heavenly with a toxic person. But why continue a relationship like that?? I would walk away. Just pack my things and leave 🙄 Then they could just sit there...

[@LDMillionaire]

Can't walk away when it's your adult child.

[@andylima24]

I'm a narcissist's daughter... my mother is a real sick person. Was hard to live with her, without knowing her problem. I have no money to survive at that time. Now I live alone... hut a lot of people live the way I was... how to go out..

[@canadianlady777]

L.D. Can’t walk away if it’s your husband...When the financial picture is risky and to strike out on your own is debilitating.

[@violetamethyst1186]

There are situations where you do have to plan carefully how to leave. Not everyone can just up and leave, unfortunately.

[@MrSnoopydupy]

toxic relationships and toxic people are waste of time. Drop them out of your life, they are not worth your time, your energy and not worth of manipulating the truth just to deal with them. Michele, you basically advise people to waste energy on toxic people. Dealing with toxic people is still wasting energy. IMHO

[@caron4725]

WELL SAID

[@Hafsa_Siddiqui_789]

I am so grateful for your online coaching.. It saves alot of my energy

[@ornellarose6378]

Michelle, what a beautiful being you are inside and out, thankyou for helping us!!!!! 💜💚💖💛❤💙💯

[@Cross-Examine]

I'll say "hello" nice and cheery then leave their presence and turn my attention elsewhere. I'll ignore them the rest of the time and continue acting joyful and normal.

[@billyrayvalentine1161]

Thank you :)

[@JJones-nf9ce]

Actually I suggest that people directly put that person in Check. Ask them if they have a problem? If so ask them if they wish to go out back and handle business

[@m.j.2939]

I have a big problem with punctuality. It's not because I don't want to be on time I try! I find now the children have left home it's been easier. My husband used to pressure and yell at me which flustered me and froze me. I would be getting everyone and everything ready and being a perfectionist with how I present myself it takes time. Pity I am vein! I also had not been well often which didn't help and always stressed. So when I hear about punctuality I want to cry because I have been so hopeless all my life. Even when I would try to be earlier dumb things would always happen to sabotage me. I wish I was more relaxed and organized like others. I am a complete mess these days as I have fallen in hole yet feel guilty because I am really so blessed.

[@civisperpetuamdebitu]

Michele, I know you’re simplifying and maybe this is exhaustion speaking but I’m still lost in application. Sometimes I think I’m the bad person and narcissist fearful but still wanting to be honest in speaking with family. There are moments I forget the hurt like I have some weird amnesia and open up like a fool. This last meeting a member that I usually feel hurt by for a reason I can’t always understand seemed so Zen but now I was scared it wasn’t real and closed up. I didn’t feel like myself I withdrew to avoid being a mood killer. It was kind of isolating. I want to take responsibility admit if I’m a problem but I don’t know where to begin.

[@cathygoltsoff9615]

Observe don’t absorb! Great advice and commentary!

[@izawaniek2568]

In toxic relationships you can not be honest and act truthfully and that is why you must cut them off not to be compelled to violate your standards of behaviour and your core values.

[@redeemed3856]

Brilliant Michelle!! 😃✊🔥

[@sherrim4067]

I get that awful look of hostility and ugliness from a co-worker. Oh that's the worst. Good advice I smile, and let her be her yucky self.

[@sumbals]

Well one thing i would like to know as you said we have to do the reverse psychology ignore and make them feel it doenst matter if any of their behaviour is bothering but if they still continue doing seeing it even we dont care what then? Like they make that act as normal and they just wana have fun together internally knowing that this thing is bothering ?

[@higurashianduminekoconnect1702]

There's one passive aggressive trick that works on every passive aggressive person and that's to completely ignore them in a sort of aggressive way but not in a way that you're snooping to their level to do this trick you got to get rid of all your insecurities you have none skeptical. All those insecurities so they truly cannot get to you they tried to be passive aggressive uh like not my problem but don't even say that just let it be known without stooping to their level it will leave them us trade for multiple reasons one because they can't get to you I can't get the reaction to your mentally stronger 3 you beat them at their own game without stooping to their level and that means all those feelings they try to put on you we'll end up on them but twice as much and it always helps to go right back to how are you looked like you were filling right before you even encountered them that shows like it never even felt like it was there it even works against beef passive aggressive stare it shows them at least in your world it doesn't exist so it fell on deaf ears or when it comes to the passive aggressive stare it's like it fell on blind eyes that's how much it shows it doesn't affect you but you can affect them and all at the same time not stooping to their Petty level I call it silently strong aggression the strong being that you're mentally strong the silent meaning you remain silent to their actions when it comes to letting it affect you and it works best when unlike the passive aggressive person who's doing it out of insecurities and showing that they ultimately really do care it helps to generally not care that's why I said if you're going to go against a passive aggressive person confront all your insecurities so that what you show is reality 2 how you don't care it's not just passive aggressiveness it's just the reality of the situation that way they will eventually just give up and realize you truly don't care after all Justified aggression in the sense of protecting yourself there's nothing wrong about that you should at least defend yourself with any attack even mentally and no aggression can beat aggression based in fact to not truly care with this against the aggressive person being passive aggressive nothing while making them feel probably more Awkward than what they set out to make you feel and in reality they are just bullies and it all works the same they want reaction and I don't want anything negative to them by doing what by doing what I suggested it's doing both but they don't like and since it's based in reality it's just going to leave them more humiliated therefore they're definitely going to go after a different victim than you because you proved you're too strong for them

[@janicemurphy4373]

BOY,!!!!! You have to be a smart smart person or a psychiatrist!!!!! I have been around such persons and it is hard because they are so hypocritical and lie like nothing, they are impossible!!!! I find leaving them a long. The jealousy the competitiveness, the control is craziness . I guess I am much more healthier than I realized!!!!!

[@meredithmericle7487]

Observe don't absorb is good if you can then leave. I have found that technique only makes the other person double down, get more surly, "humpfy, as in "HUMF" with a tip of the chin upward. and then what? If you can't get away fast, you're doomed to have to spend with that creature trying to ignore him/her.

[@olgat.155]

Great video. On point. 👏

[@manmeetkhanduja7201]

Your concepts r very apt....n clear❌⭕❌⭕

[@RealityCheck1]

I simply challenge them to an MMA match (no referee) they quickly behave after that. I'm a big Rickson Gracie fan.

[@jc-gp3go]

Yeah this happened to me as a male i smiled back and gave a thumbs up a fight ensued which left me with a fractured rib you do realise most people will revert to there ape brain if they cant make me feel uncomfortable they will force it

[@scarletshield009]

Sadly I am not a strategist....

[@agnesskopelos7472]

Thanks so much for this information !!!!So true !!!!

[@Jezebel066]

I had no idea the silent treatment was a narcissistic trait! Going 4 days not speaking to me & not telling me why you’re mad. Never been told to do more housework, but I’ve had them do it after me. Getting upset. Hinting I didn’t clean well enough. So no time for exercise, bc I had to clean all day. Is someone telling you for years “made it to work, have a good day” EVERY SINGLE DAY, Then all the sudden you don’t get any. So you bring it up, then they say you’re trying to start a fight, bc you’re a manipulator. But they start sending texts again. Then they stop again. You say you don’t understand why all the sudden it’s so difficult & what changed. Then you’re controlling & have to know what they’re doing at all times. It’s so so mind effing.

[@justenough9696]

I love this.

[@Froggability]

Woah these are awesome practical ideas for dealing with control freaks etc

[@beckypersinger9135]

I disagree with pretending it doesn't bother you. That's fake and I am not about being fake. Best is to avoid that person. If you're dating or married to that type of person who disrespect you, "Bye!" No time for that at all.

[@elizabethlasseigne5361]

Thank you so much for your video! It was so helpful!

[@marywilsonvocalist2181]

oh yep..left me talking to myself while holding door for 6 people..who had arms that worked just fine..when I tried to take aside and asert myself...he walked off and up elevator...

[@goldieh7121]

While this didn't work for me long term, I do remember stopping my ex with 2 things in the beginning of the relationship. When my ex would look at me all disgusted like, and say I'm a nasty tone "what are you doing", I would repeat what he said and how he said it right back to him. That seemed to let him know I was aware that he was acting like a jerk. When he would try to control me and tell me that I shouldn't be doing what I was doing, I would say " I do what I want" like Cartman from South Park (this was in the 90s). But that was all in the beginning when I hadn't been convinced yet that I was dependant on them. So he had incentive to stop. When you are heavily invested in the relationship and afraid if how they could ruin you, these tactics are a little more risky, if you don't have a plan to escape.

[@victoriasmees5625]

This video is AMAZING. If only i'd had it when I was sixteen I could have saved myself a lifetime of torture

[@nadhiagurrola491]

Some teachers treat their students like this.

[@besiprimitif9513]

the reason i searched for this video is because i'm in this stressfull condition right now. but the bad news is i already broke the rule to how to outsmart my toxic partner. Thank you Michele, i really learn a lot, from this video, i love your psychological explanation to this case, the sign, the motives, the impact, and the step to outsmart them really helps me.

[@jane-ew2jh]

They do this so u stay stuck proving ur not wat they said

[@pueblodonna4775]

What happens if I do not allow the love bombing because I saw the red flag in the behaves and never allowed the love bombing Then he went straight to manipulating

[@RG-vm9pi]

Very good! Thanks for the tips.

[@davidu8688]

Most of these answers seem really very obvious. I think we choose to go along with this behavior because of other insecurities or maybe it's just habit to respond with like behavior. Really the answer is to just keep about your mission/goals.

[@a.k.4085]

Excellent

[@annascavezze616]

I otherwise, you have to not care. Sadly, in a sense, you have to become somewhat of a narcissist in return. If you are engaging, or countering, you are still being maneuvered by the narcissist behavior. The only way to not be reduced is to not care. You must remove yourself emotionally, coming to terms with the fact that there is nothing healthy or true coming from this person. Therefore, the narcissist with all their manipulations must become insignificant to you. You have to give up on all you hoped for in the relationship, mourn the loss of something that never really had, and move on.

[@davepalmatier5190]

MICHELLE YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL IN AND OUT I'M SO SORRY YOU WHERE TREATED BAD BY YOUR EX!! I WOULD HAVE LOVED TO HAD A WOMAN LIKE YOU, I HAVE ATTRACTED 2 NARCISSIST IN MY LIFE IT'S SO CRAZY HOW THEY WILL TREAT US, I TRULY THOUGHT I WAS LOOSING MY MIND UNTIL I STARTED LEARNING ABOUT ALL THIS. I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS AND PRAY I CAN GET AWAY WITH MY MIND INTACT AND MY THINGS. I'M TRYING TO FIND A HOUSE FOR ME AND MY DAUGHTER TO HAVE A NICE HOME TOGETHER AND TRY TO GET MY LIFE TOGETHER AGAIN AND FIND HAPPINESS!! I'M REALLY A HAPPY PERSON WHEN I'M NOT BEING MESSED WITH. STAY BEING YOUR BEAUTIFUL SELF!! THE MAN THAT HAS YOU IS A LUCKY ONE!! IT'S CRAZY HOW GOOD WOMEN END UP WITH ASSES AND GOOD GUYS MOSTLY END UP WITH BAD WOMEN. I'M STILL TRYING TO FIGURE IT ALL OUT, BUT I'M GETTING BETTER AT SEEING WHAT'S REALLY THERE IN PEOPLE.

[@gabaneokash6984]

This was just Amazing why have i not Seen at firtst

[@charlotteputzer4625]

Great again, thank You 😊

[@BillingWhiteInkClinic]

I have recently been acted by a passive-aggressive person. I had to step back and let her rant on a text thread. Yes, I ignored her. Is this passive-aggressive?

[@lexilady8944]

so it over steps my boundaries to have my mother in law over and he knows this so he is always asking me if she can come by... when i shut it down im looked at as the one with the problem. they are both covert narcs how do I act unbothered but still keep my boundaries? As soon as i act unbothered hes like " great she can come over now" then i blow up. idk what to do

[@zion367]

I get that we do not give them the satisfaction of knowing they hurt us, but continue to meet up with someone who disrespects your time sounds a lot like enabling to me.

[@obscurum6]

It is enabling. And it is exactly what you recommended to others in other threads. 🙄😆

[@zion367]

​@@obscurum6please tag me there. Im curious about what I wrote.

[@trymebitch-_-]

Finally some decent advice! These are actually practical & real word, actionable steps towards self health & genuinely resolving pain