HOW to Pursue YOUR EX PROPERLY To Get Them Back (WHEN & HOW)

STOP Doing NO CONTACT Now: Sometimes YOU MUST Pursue YOUR EX To Get Them Back
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#breakups #nocontact #relationshipadvice #avoidantattachment

[@akishashoy6896]

I hear you, but me reaching out to him is a no no. I’m sticking to the NC for me so I can focus on my mental and spiritual wellbeing. I hope he does the same for himself. I still love him and I know he loves me but he has trauma he has to deal with.

[@user-ke9tc3ue7f]

Me to sis fawk em what's meant to be will be especially if it was a long term relationship..... If he can forget me after 4 yrs then so be it 😂good luck sis 🤞

[@Godanointed_1]

No contact gives me peace

[@user-ke9tc3ue7f]

Agreed 💯

[@tanvirhussain7355]

I aint never going back. I am never gonna chase. Sure Its hurts. But It will hurt more if i let her do this again to me.

[@GaryRSpicer]

Narcissistic people are not avoiding us, they are avoiding accountability for what they do and how their actions affect us.

[@Colorado303Adventures]

I feel this^

[@kidyoda]

"Scarcity creates value." Boom.

[@HojaFPS]

​​Its been 3 months now, I improved SO Much, lost so much weight.. got a nice job (before no job) i m... I m getting so much stronger. I start to feel more secure. I wanna be 100% secure tho before I reach out. I wanna get my license, I wanna buy a car, I wanna have a six pack (those are material things but I want them FOR ME, cause I always wanted it). If i m confident in myself. I want her back. She loved me. I felt it but she knew i wouldnt be able to change anything and she was right. I needed it to happen.

[@sriarmyjibts4783]

Did She broke up with u...?

[@alexskyd1]

When you will achieve all that you will not need her anymore :)

[@HojaFPS]

@@alexskyd1doesnt feel like i need her anymore its more like giving her the Chance and me aswell to grt to know esch other again when i m actually my self. Its hard to explain cause u obv dont know my whole back Story. But u are def right

[@Usernameblankslate]

I’m glad you are working on yourself. I’m sure she still has love for you, but these things happen for a reason. You seem to be learning from it and it’s more than most people can say. Good for you.

[@HojaFPS]

Thank you for your words. I learned ton of it, honestly my life had a 180 turn - it feels good to actually get forward in life. I never felt as good in my body as now and i m not even close to what i wanna achieve with my body. Same goes for other things in life. Its just weird to see on a rational side that she kinda had no choice. Because if she stood, then i d be still the same. I needed that. Eventho I never wanted it. I m still not ready but I think if i m becoming stable then ... idk she was the right person @@Usernameblankslate

[@emanuelmajstorovic9457]

You are amazing man. The way you present and explain is great value for me...

[@jenniferh.994]

The last 5 minutes, EXTRA IMPORTANT information on how to handle things. ❤

[@stephenblock4319]

Man I’m so thankful that Coach is making these videos. He is helping me more than he could ever know

[@Beth1300]

This is very helpful, thanks

[@blacademic]

Watch the video through to get the FULL context. Do not break no contact if you are the dumpee. The video explains mainly what to do when the dumper reaches out. Especially when looking at the masculine essence in the relationship. After the dumper reaches out, how do you move things to where YOU want it to go without chasing them

[@CatwalkPurz]

👏👏👏

[@yorosandrine2844]

You teach very well. Everything you say makes sense and is well balanced. Both keeping dignity and also respectfully seize opportunity with intelligence

[@bipbop7231]

Coach….Mr. Stylin and Profilin! 👍 Spittin facts and looking great doing it. Have a great weekend. ☺️

[@blacademic]

🤞🏿

[@Ishvone]

It's that "you have to get what you want" vs "if it's meant to be then it will happen" and that was where I struggled. But there's always a power dynamic. Breaking NC often exemplifies their reasoning in breaking up with you. I broke no contact and reached out after a year and half but it put me on that "lower pedestal hierearchy" because it gives them the impression that you are nothing without them. That you're weak and they're all that you're thinking about even if you have your life in check in all areas - job, school, family, friends, status, etc. Personally the relationship will flow better when the dumper reaches out but sometimes you can't deal with avoidants.

[@blacademic]

Watch the video, I am not saying you should break no contact first. This is ALWAYS after they reach out to you

[@ninaziva4639]

​@@blacademicUnfortunately most of the time avoidants won't reach out first. They're convinced that there's always something wrong with others but NEVER with them.

[@DeaDellaFortuna]

@@ninaziva4639 not necessary. They will when they will feel save and they have a high interest level. They are not chasing but they will reach out. It can be different when the dynamic in your relationship was more that the non avoidant chased. There are severel reasons, but it doesnt mean that they wont reach out.

[@DeaDellaFortuna]

wow, I think there should be a timelimit of chasing. If nothing happens within the first 6 month, you have lost the battle and should move on. Maybe, you finally should move on.

[@alchemicalsoul]

​@@DeaDellaFortunaAn avoidant I was involved with reached out after 7 months. Then ran again after 3. It's a cycle.

[@ITSMETWIZZY]

Every video i watch of yours i end up liking! My new relationship coach. Subscribed!

[@blacademic]

🙏

[@issacmchaunmiyeaacon5189]

Hey coach it's Issac sorry I showed up late but you're advice has helped me a lot and really changed my perspective I appreciate you

[@blacademic]

Great to hear man! Keep it going 🙏

[@destiny2092]

Oh my goodness, it works! My guy and myself are back on track again! I thought we were done but communication is KEY!

[@xannecorinnex]

How long did it take him to reach out to you?

[@destiny2092]

@@xannecorinnex things between us had been ongoing for a while, meaning not speaking. He reached out around my birthday (Dec) to wish me a beautiful day and that he missed me. I responded nicely but didn't really feel totally secure. They're was no more communication at that point until recently on Valentine's Day that's when we had a very serious heart to heart. A lot of it was miscommunication for both of us. I'm still taking things very slowly to make sure that we're both doing the right thing and so far I feel we are. Time will tell... One thing we both know for sure is that we love each other!

[@jorgetremel3614]

Can you describe your situation?

[@destiny2092]

I will definitely give an update, I have a very busy schedule during the day. Later on this evening I will definitely reply. Thanks! I had given an update, it's deleted, not sure what happened 🤷‍♀️

[@CatwalkPurz]

Updates please? 🙌 also, yes communication is important but •comprehension• is MOST important 😉

[@STARSENMT]

OHHHHH FRESH CUT, FRESH CAMERA 🔥🔥

[@imarhiagbe]

My brother from Nigeria 🇳🇬 you are very right ▶️ of this issue ⚠️

[@blacademic]

My bro! 🤞🏿

[@LaTashala1080]

I don’t want him back. I truly know my worth and he never deserved me or my time🙏🏾✌🏾💪🏾

[@user-ke9tc3ue7f]

Period same sis fawk em

[@LaTashala1080]

@@user-ke9tc3ue7f You already know 🥰💪🏾‼️

[@Usernameblankslate]

Yes 🙌

[@LaTashala1080]

@@Usernameblankslate 🥰🙏🏾

[@cfalcon8342]

think about da d sis

[@gangbang9024]

No contact let me don’t have to deal with a delusional individual immaturity disrespect and it bring me peace ☮️

[@sheldonvintage9023]

Coach, appreciate your wisdom! Are you able to do a sucess story series or two seperate episodes of these stories for each gender pls

[@ifeanyianyanwu5319]

Hi Coach blac, I follow your series on KZbin and must say you are amazing and your teachings work like magic. I went on NC with my ex and he reached out to me countlessly to check up and to ask for meetings of which we met thrice and hooked up and recently? The last time we met? I got to know that he wants to start a new relationship and is considering one guy and one girl he is presently hooking up with and he spoke highly about them and wants to make a decision on who to go with this week coming, as he is bi and we were together for almost 5 years. We even got into a brief argument concerning him saying as a bi guy? He cannot just be with one gender sexually and that it’s impossible but I kept telling him that it was not and I we had a back and forth and I left his place and he sent a message to me that he is setting me free and that we were having a back and forth again and all he wanted was peace and that I can do whatever I want and hopes I find love again. What can I do?

[@gokuwufei99]

Ooooh lunch break about to be FIRE! Coach Blac trolling us now!? 🤣🤣🤣

[@blacademic]

lol watch the video, my philosophy has not, and will not change. No Contact certainly works

[@gokuwufei99]

@@blacademic I was there for the live, you're the best at what you do Coach :)

[@user-sz4xm3ke1l]

Hey Coach!!. First time on ur live!!!

[@user-or8zf2mh2r]

I respect your videos. i do enjoy them. On this one, i disagree. Some people are just cold-hearted and selfish. They don't want to accept accountability for their actions of the part that they played to cause the break up to take place, nor were they willing to fix it while you were still in the relationship with them. That's a person who is showing you that the relationship for whatever reason has ran it's course 💯. We need to face reality, which is the hardest thing that the relationship is over, and that person didn't love you as much as you thought that they did. Not all the time, no contact works, and i can testify to that in getting back involved with that person. That person already has their mind made up that you were the worst person they ever met all because they don't want to accept accountability for their own actions. They don't acknowledge the good times that you had nor when you went up and beyond for them. All they remember is how you told them flat out how you felt and what you needed from the relationship that they just didn't care to do.

[@MrRobot15x]

I agree

[@andeka72]

Agreed

[@babyluvjr]

Im sure Coach knows what he's talking about, i believe we r reading the title wrong

[@alijhill]

Thank you coach ❤

[@MrRobot15x]

This is a great video. My x dump Me on the January 2nd i immediately went nc on the 4th once i realized i was being dump with no explanation she sent a couple of breadcrumbs didn’t fall for them. Than went on a 20days not texting. on this Valentine’s day she send a text happy Valentine’s day and enjoy your day. I did reciprocate by saying the same thing and went back to nc. This video is great but i wish also it covers the parts where if she reached out multiple times and you decided to hang out for a couple of times at what point you asked to go to the next level assuming all the vetting come out positive and how to react if she doesn’t want a relationship still. Plus i also do believe you can’t move forward without fixing the prior issues that cause the break up i really wish coach put a video covering these.

[@blacademic]

Did you actually hang out?

[@MrRobot15x]

No we have not . Since January 24th, Valentine’s day was the first time she reached out just saying happy valentine day hope you enjoy the day. The hang out part was for the future if she started to reach out often than i will ask to hang out

[@kaitlinmontgomery2750]

I JUST had the thought that synchronicities are happening to me and like attracts like etc. The literal MOMENT you said you have a plane flying over you i looked up and saw a plane flying over me walking home rn. I CACKLED 😂✨️

[@jibberjabber2]

Hey coach I completely understand what you mean by initiating whenever the opportunity presents itself however, what if you know there’s a 3rd party involved and that she’s not only knocking when she’s bored or want her cake and eat it too? Me and her discussed setting a date recently to talk on the phone and catch-up but the night we were supposed to talk she hit me with the “I was going to call you but I’m sleepy now” and went back to living her life. I didn’t respond and I left her on read due to frustration and disappointment 😢 this has been one of the challenges I’ve been facing ever since she broke up with me and me being in NC. Would you please be willing to explain what I should do in situations like this

[@rbgsista9236]

How about y'all wait to watch the video first before assuming

[@Originalman360]

Naw they are too angry for that 😂 they are looking for a landing spot for their anger, hurt and misery! I was doing “no contact” but my wife and I are separated, not divorced! It wasn’t working for me because there are signs we can reconcile so no contact wasn’t working for me! Plus faith is belief AND action…

[@CatwalkPurz]

Same but all that separates you and others is a piece of paper. No contact works. Here’s why… It allows you to disconnect and THEN see the big picture, clearer.

[@rbgsista9236]

No contact worked for me, I made and still make changes I realizes I needed to evolve. Things I thought I worked on. But he has expressed interest again so it did work as far as attraction increasing.

[@HolyDiver-dx6px]

Ok

[@Gbb93]

@@Originalman360and you’re the man. Men pursue.

[@cj_8686]

@coachblac My wife and i are temporarily separated and doing no contact we have 2 boys. We set a date from the gate to meet up to see where we stand. What are your thoughts was that the right thing to due? By setting a date prior to going into our no contact

[@shorty.pop.]

My advice coming from my experience just move on it's a peaceful feeling when u surrender to the loss of them there is healing power in letting go just like death we all gotta go at some point let go

[@ace1007]

Im sure he will explain the exceptions in which this is applicable..

[@forzatodos9373]

I was so shock when i saw the Title of this video that i had to sit and listen😂😂😂😂 to it

[@cortinajordan9688]

This information was ever helpful, but it’s been 2 months and 3 days and I’m at 19 days on N/C…. I believe myself it’s to early to break no contact

[@blacademic]

Do not break no contact if THEY have not reached out to you first. Please watch the whole video. Don’t set yourself back by breaking no contact unprovoked

[@FTBALLSTAR04]

One method that I found to work is to. Yes, initiate and maintain no contact. But that doesn't mean no contact completely. Give them 5 or 10 days to themselves to think. Reach out once, don't be pushy to say. Hey, I've been thinking about you. I've been wondering you know. Would you like to meet up for coffee and converse? Whether they say something or not have that small conversation or not, and move on for 4 or 5 10 days if this repeats for a month Or 2 months and they don't say anything. It's really a time to move on. You need to give them the entire in space but you also need to reassure them that. Hey, I'm here. I care you're interested in them will create interest in you but to pour your power out. Every single time you talk to them is going to push them away. You have to meet in the middle. We're all human. We all miss. We all desire and we all deserve. And every couple and relationship is 100% different.

[@DeaDellaFortuna]

Well, as far as I understood it, everyone is going to some phases of separation. The one who left you, doesnt realise that you are gone as he first is in the relief phase. He/she/it feels empowered and shows NO Interest level. Contacting now just would do 2 thinks: 1. he/she/it wont realise that you are gone as you still stick around 2. you confirm with your action that he/she/it does the right thing. Moreover, you do not generate the needed interest level. this phase everyone is going trough. The difference only is the time every person needs for every phase. Therefore, you really shouldnt commuicate during at least the first month. However, I struggle, if there are committments like children and flatt etc.

[@anmm9236]

Ty! 💜🙏

[@zandilebusakwe7487]

I watched all your videos and as hard as it was of not talking to him I still maintained my distance… today I tried to reach out but I get from him is silence. and it’s killing me inside I’m really hurt I wish I saw this earlier to hear your advice today.

[@a-aron3561]

Update?

[@romo3418]

I chased on and off for almost 2 months post break up.. she’s severely avoidant. We hooked up after I broke NC the first time. Now 3 months post break up. 3 weeks back in full no contact. She keeps randomly unblocking me on IG for a day or two then reblocking. It’s happened two or three times now. She always has a story posted. I’ve never looked. I’m not feeding in to her. Those small signs make me feel good. Even if they shouldn’t and it’s not a big enough reason. At least I know she has feelings. Whatever they may be.

[@grubzygaming7408]

My ex also unblocked me on ig but never has reached out or seen my stories so I’m not sure what I should do

[@mohammedaslam70]

Today I finally gaveup on getting my ex back . I’m exhausted , haven’t slept well for 2 months . Now I’m working on moving on . My heart hurts . I have accepted and made peace with my heart . If someone knows any methods of moving on please help . Being a man I have responsibilities which I’m not able to fulfill . No one understands my pain not even my family . Never thought loving someone truely would be this painful .

[@djTeKniiQ]

The pain leaves when it’s done teaching you!

[@user-ke9tc3ue7f]

Sameeee 🎉🎉🎉

Make a list of 101 goals and start working on them! That will make you occupied and even give you a boost of confidence and motivation. In the meantime you will heal and you will notice a change in your perspective of that person.

[@jovangarcia532]

Find hobbies my guy. Takes your mind off of things and you can meet new people. Been 3 months for me and it does get easier, but you'll still have cloudy days. Just keep swimming and working on you. Cry when you have to, wipe the tears and keep swimming.

[@mohammedaslam70]

@@jovangarcia532 Thankyou SOO much ! I’m on it 🫂

[@Millimir]

Need you to go live

[@blacademic]

I will go live tonight!

[@InertiaFpv23]

It’s 11 🎉 let’s fucking hear this!

[@osvaldoalvarado8119]

What do you do or say if when you finally go out and spend time with the dismissive avoidant (dumper-female) after no contact for some time, and that person tries to kiss you or wants to have sex with you? What are the best strategies to not sabotage potentially getting back together? Of course the dumpee wants to but the issues still remain. Managing that situation is critical.

[@1npaac]

On the other videos you said to text them back and show no fear of losing and wishing them good life. And know u saying to make a time and meet when she reaching out

[@jeaneengant6771]

This is going to be interested. can't wait to watch the video. I mean I listen and followed you the whole time during my breakup. i am curious to see what this video is about

[@user-kr7tg9vr9n]

Why should you pursue someone who left you in the first place? You showed them how much you loved them but they left anyway. If anyone one should be doing the pursuing then it's your ex. And if they choose not to, then you forget about them and move on.

[@Originalman360]

Tell em why your mad Son 😂😂😂 u know u can simply NOT follow this page right? You know u can simply keep it moving right? I never understood folks blasting people on their own page but yet you made the choice to click on his page! Goofy 💩

[@CatwalkPurz]

6:25

[@user-or8zf2mh2r]

EXCATELY and manipulators & narcissistic people have no heart they are cold. They also have double standards best to keep it moving!!

[@Gbb93]

Unfortunately life and relationships aren’t black and white. Women expect men to pursue. And sometimes women break up because they want to feel like the man cares enough to put his pride aside and go after her. Believe me, it baffles me too

[@FrankiesFire]

It’s been nearly 2 months since she dumped me and her last words were “we both needs to move on as we both deserve”. She appears to have moved on. I’ve been in no contact, but she has unfriended me on all social platforms and probably blocked my number. I’ve lost 25 pounds since breakup. I’m anxious, she’s a DA. I don’t think she will have a change of heart.

[@ebcustom2819]

That makes a lot of sense you're right. But what about if she's already dating someone?

[@blacademic]

Nope. Do nothing unless she reaches out first

[@MissSarahGM]

This is maybe relevant for guys but not ladies. If your ex boyfriend (dumper) reaches out several times, as a woman you don't help him by offering a meet up or anything, nor do you say "let me know if you change your mind" : do not helps men (dumpers) to put you on the shelf and back burner. Especially if your dumper is avoidant attached or emotionally unavailable. If you position yourself like that, you set yourself up for ever breadcrumbs potentially. Coach I think you underestimate how male dumpers will reach out over months and even years to their exes, (and no, not within one month like you suggest, but more scattered reach outs), because they are still undecided, confused and like the validation.

[@nicoleevaherbst7306]

Agreed completely. Even though I was the dumper and my ex boyfriend the dumpee he broke promises and did some pretty shitty things towards the end of our relationship. If you're a woman who broke up with a guy due to bad behavior/unchanged behavior or some betrayal then I don't think opening up the space for him to send breadcrumbs of insincere remorse is the ticket. This advice works if a relationship was more or less good but stuff like timing, lack of alignment or different goals pulled you guys apart. And even then in some cases these relationships come to and end and should stay that way. Reconnecting? Maybe. Getting back together? Probably not.

[@robicelus]

I see cats for your future ladies and that's ok.

[@nicoleevaherbst7306]

@robicelus I see you don't understand that isn't an insult anymore lol

[@robicelus]

@@nicoleevaherbst7306 you're right dear. Cats need loving too

[@robicelus]

@@nicoleevaherbst7306 you are right dear. Cats need loving too

[@PeterHealthyLifestyle]

Bro you got me confused

[@blacademic]

Come to my live tonight! Definitely watch the whole video first. But come to the live. 7PM CST

[@thebackbencher005]

Key point 19:15 .... that’s the crux to understand

[@TravisLee1018]

Yeah I got hella questions abt this one

[@carlaboyd7407]

Love your videos and your coaching techniques but I’m sorry the title was very convoluted

[@blacademic]

Thanks for the feedback! I appreciate the honesty. Did you watch the video all the way through?

[@Ericgodisgood]

Wow now no contact my ex said she moved on in I should to

[@eustacesmith9635]

❤wow

[@misscooks601]

All of your videos add value. I did almost 1 months of no contact but I wished him A happy Valentine’s Day and broke it 😥

[@michaelvokes921]

Did he respond

[@misscooks601]

@@michaelvokes921 nope 👎

[@DeaDellaFortuna]

@@misscooks601 well, than you start all over, dont worry.

[@theieisbabbas765]

No contact is ONLY good for realizing that you definitely are NOT in love , NOR do you love your ex partner. You never walk away from the person you love. Only love defeats evil so figure if everybody is into "let them go" motto and thats what everybody is doing think how much evil is winning between good and bad. I repeat, NEVER LET GO OF YOUR LOVE.You think Jesus ever walked away from Love? It stops the flow of love throughout the world and these days i can tell.

[@amyl894]

If we’ve been in no contact for almost 10 months, separated for a year and he had a new gf that was a mutual friend within a week of us “breaking up” BUT we’re technically still married, should I just give up hope entirely and just get the divorce after we were and technically still are married for over 10 years?

[@OnLyMaNdIs]

My situations a little different. We have been together for 1 year and 9 months, almost 2 years. He has been legally separated for 2 years and his divorce is final at the end of this month.... He said he has been fighting hate in his heart the past couple weeks and needs to work on himself alone... He said hes not looking for anyone or anything different and doesn't know if this is the right decision and is leaving it up to God to lead him in the right direction. Our relationship was great, but a few things were not ideal at the moment. He did get in his head from time to time and would go silent and I know that would upset him. He just asked me to please let him go and let things work out they way they are meant to. It's only been a day, and im strong enough not to reach out to him, but it's not what I want, and it is so hard... I know in my heart it's not what he wants. Any advice would be so helpful ❤

[@tonyb1940]

Hey coach, was looking for advice I've recently been dumped out the blue when I thought everything was great on both sides, I'm struggling, but she said she won't change her mind and we haven't spoke since the breakup, I'm just in so much shock, is there a way back ? Thanks

[@akselnielsen8837]

hello coach. its now a little over a month of nc, and my ex has reached two times, one time just saing how are you, and now asking me if i was home. in witch i responden "no im on vacation" followed by a response saing "oh okay, never mind then" is this a good sign or is she just playing with me? i appreciate all you have done for me, thank you

[@tombrady2354]

Sounds like he's teaching out

[@TravisLee1018]

So I’ve been in NC with my ex for abt 3 months now (she ended things) and on 3 separate occasions while in NC she liked my insta stories with pics of me in it which was back in Nov. & Dec. and she doesn’t like anything anymore but still views my stories on Insta and Snap… was I supposed to reach out after she was liking my stuff or??? Bc I’ve heard other coaches say not to after they like your stories bc that’s her way of baiting me to reach out basically for validation, knowing she can get me back, etc. Like you got me over here thinking I missed an opportunity… does anyone have an answer for this?

[@user-tz9ol1ly7z]

I have been on no contact for 1 year 3 month after a relationship of 1year 6 month, but I still have the feeling for her, the major problem in our relationship is that she listens to her friend and she doesn’t have respect anymore like before since her friend start coming to me house. From my observation I can see her friend is jealous of her but I keep telling her that I don’t want to see her friend in my house for sometime she keep upset, because of that I left her but I still communicate with her mom and her siblings I just want to discipline her if she can changes coach? From your experience what’s the way forward.

[@Beautifullysaid]

My suiation so weird i dont known where to start but hummm dont want to get playied 😊

[@terryjohnson261]

I have been listening to these for a couple months. He has me blocked. He did message and call once when I was asleep. so I responded the next day and crickets. Blocked again. How can I resolve the issues with car insurance, a car on his property etc. if Im blocked? Especially when he already had someone before we were over?

[@sarahhajjari]

Hi coach, I have a question. I have avoidant ex, we lived together for a year, moved out 3 months ago not having a reason, talked few times and agreed to start dating but he didn’t reach out on that date and I stopped contacting, it’s been two months since then, my question is can I reach out at any time ? I genuinely love him and want him back, I appreciate your input and advice!

[@daliasmith3230]

Hi Coach! My ex broke up with me. He text me on 12/07, 12/24 and 01/02 The 3rd text I asked him if he was available that day to meet up? He said he wasn’t available. He text right back and said let’s get together soon. I said sounds great! He hearted the text. I haven’t heard from him since? What does that mean? I noticed today on FB that he unblocked me. I had deleted him when we broke up bcuz it was too much for me to handle so he blocked me but today I noticed I was unblocked on FB. What does that mean? My birthday is on Sunday 2/18 will he call or text me?

[@joshuarenode8130]

Im trying to attract my wife and family back I first thought experience in our marriage she runs out and it's was something that could be fixed I'm just hoping I get another chance with her again

[@Tvshownerd3]

I have read in many articles that avoidants never reach out even if they miss you. They expect you to chase them even if they are the dumper. What should I do in this?

[@13sprintuser]

Same question from me! My ex gf is an avoidant but I can’t chase her after she broke up with me. She needs to do most of the work

[@iamtyleek_8911]

My ex n I broke up 3 months ago, we’ve talk and met up sometimes and he was still hurt and upset about the things I’ve said after the breakup. We’ve only done at least a week no contact since then and he broke it. We spoke this Monday and he told me that he still healing from the things I said and that he don’t see a future with me. I told him if he truly believes that and want nothing to do with me to block and delete my number. He said okay, we slept together the night before he left. In the next day I sent him a little text to see if he blocked me, he didn’t. I’m applying no contact now hoping that’s going to give him sometime to heal from the hurtful things I said to him.

[@NevilleStClair]

I had this interesting thought that was confirmed through a video I saw a few days ago...When a relationship starts with all the excitement and it feels like it's "the relationship ",when the excitement fizzles out,I believe that is when the relationship is actually starting it's permanent beautiful journey. The problem is people think it's a sign that they have fallen out of love. People give up so easy on love these days. If one truly falls inlove,there is no way you can fall out of love...If you feel you don't love that person anymore, you actually never loved that person in the first place. Hooking up after a breakup without knowing where you actually stand is an unhealthy place to be. You are both adults and should be straightforward with how you both feel about each other. One of you is in it for a good time and the other is in it for the long time. The answer lies in who initiated the horizontal dance...

[@idekcommenter]

we’re back in contact and she’s initiating conversations and calls

[@blacademic]

Are you setting in person meet ups?

[@idekcommenter]

@@blacademic i plan on asking her in a few days, i don’t want to move too quickly we’ve only been in communication a few days

[@thewhitneyagency]

What do you do if you were the one dumped and they are in a new relationship and tell you on numerous times they unhappy and come knocking on your door. You’ve hung out a few times but every time they are “good” in their relationship they sort of ghost you. They say they miss you and are open to an “us” in the future but are still in an unhealthy relationship. 😕

[@arnoldgarcia915]

Need some help would this work if we both agreed to be friends? Relationship was amazing overall not toxic break up was good between us.

[@lyricalstyles]

Can you do a video about working with an ex? We both are in new relationships but see eachother everyday and can’t get completely over eachother

[@azazel3944]

Tbh no contact is not for all

[@Elise_1704]

Coach.. hoping you’ll reply to this. my ex just dumped me 3 days ago. We been living together, even engaged, planned a wedding and all, to end up breaking up due to some heavy arguments. I have abandonment issues, I couldn’t accept it. Been watching your videos ever since the breakup, but it’s very hard to do No Contact. I been reaching out since day one till today. I got drunk tonight , texted and called him but he wont answer and i even went to his apartment and leave a short note letter saying ‘i’m sorry, i love you and please forgive me’. I went back home and just feeling the lowest thinking that he might think im super crazy and all. 😢 What should i do? I really love him and i still believe in our relationship. I believe that he did love me very much before. Please help me. Been crying since the breakup and im really helpless! I love him so much, I can’t even imagine living the lives without him.

[@Ducati007]

Never go back

[@tsu1246]

What if them reaching out is extremely low effort (essentially breadcrums)? My ex sent me memes twice during no contact. We had some back and forth but she didn't even ask me about my life or anything like that.

[@randy-lg5xr]

An EX is an EX for a reason. What split yall up will always come back at some point. Please make a video about moving on, self improvement and how to be ready for the next relationship at the right time. I love your content but why is it always about an EX and not the next chapter of life

[@DeaDellaFortuna]

Well, during no contact you are suppossed to work on yourself (aka self improvement) otherwise you will have trouble to get your ex anyway. And there are several reasons for a break up eg depression or overwhelmness- why should you end a more or less good relationship because of temporary issues? Nontheless, there are ppl who will always fight for love- this way they are able to proceed better (for a next relationship).

[@faroukcheblaoui2223]

What to do if I broke no contact she did respond to my first message but didn’t respond and I didn’t send after that it happend 2 weeks ago

[@EpticityOG]

My ex has reached out twice over the past week to ask very simple very easy to answer questions. It’s only been a week and a half since we initiated NC. I just answer her questions and drop the conversation, the first time she dropped it the second time I dropped it. So what is that? She’s not bread crumbing nor is she saying any reconciliation. I’ just curious, she watches all my stories but I don’t see hers. I didn’t ask her anything during these two times she reached out

[@amosthornton9337]

My ex started texting me again..she has brought me something to eat last week and we went to the movies as well. She also got upset when I told her I was going out last weekend. Questioning what I was doing but she doesn't want to stay anything about us being back together. Please help what do I think now?

[@karabobrian6693]

"If your ex reaches out it is okay to reciprocate" should be the title of this video, any how is going 12 months no contact and I have fallen out of love and on to better things, should the ex reach out I am not taking her back....i needed this detachment..it was very unhealthy for me and my mental wellbeing

[@RikaNicoleProductions]

This is just too much. No contact, then do contact. Pull back, but then don’t pull back too much. Smile but don’t smile too much. Sounds like to many games to me. Why can’t you just be honest instead of playing these mind games. Playing these games, will cost your relationship and your future with them. Just be honest and upfront. If it’s suppose to be, it will be. All of this is confusing, and can cause more harm trying to do or be something you’re not. Just be transparent with them, let them know how you feel, and if it’s meant to be it will be. If you didn’t think they were of value or deserving, you wouldn’t have given them the opportunity to be your partner to begin with. Just my two cents. Especially since everyone operates differently. My ex is completely different than most men, so these tactics, games, and strategies will not work on him.

[@hirjanugeanina6466]

What if he ended it like few times because i was asking him to be more constant, to take responsability for his actions and mistakes. He ended it again for 2 weeks. I went NC. Then came back again, saying the truth about what was going on when he was going on and off with me, asked sorry but still couldn’t keep his promises about taking responsibility and not hiding our relationship from his ex-wife. He said he is not sure about our relationship. I said we should take some time off as he considers that and didn’t respect his word and he agreed immediately. In this case i should be the one reaching out if he didn’t keep his word bringing me to the point to say we need a period of time off. Or i should just stay in no contact until he is reaching? When he was on/off he was exploring the market and he asked me for exclusivity and a relationship in the second week we were dating. Why you ask for exclusivity and relationship if you still want to explore options? At least he could’ve say it. Not make me prioritize him but he not.

[@Dj-vu2vu]

What about that when they contact u, u say, i cant be in this pattern with u anymore?

[@taylorturntime4170]

this was such a plot twist: after all the NC rule was so strong.

[@blacademic]

Hmm how so? I do not say not to do the no contact rule, just don’t miss opportunities when your ex comes around. If they are showing high interest, that is the time to take action without fearing rejection

[@Beth1300]

I don't think it is. It's more about how to progress beyond initial no contact, something most channels don't seem to address

[@annsumrall2593]

I am the woman who was dumped. He pursued me for a year and a half after totally loving him for a year next month he wanted to marry then all of a sudden before valentine's day he said we are done. I am devastated but no way am i going to reach out to him. Unfortunately i have to see him at a hospital where i go for a brief time everyday so he still visually sees me but wont speak or text. 😢

[@user-dm2ey6ey1f]

After my 20 days i realize i don't want her back

[@SukhaEssence]

@coachblac what videos do you recommend I watch for when my person reaches out. He messaged me as I was watching this video and I’m not sure how to handle it.

[@bigboss6867]

Coach, it'll probably be a while before my Ex reaches out as she exhibits textbook signs of an avoidant attachment style.

[@blacademic]

How long have you been in full no contact? No mistakes, no watching stories, nothing?

[@bigboss6867]

Been about a little over a year, I screwed up after the initial 60 days (we broke up back in September of '22). At that point I recognized if I kept pursuing, I would have made her recognize that I'd learned nothing. I went full NC afterwards, removed her from my social media, no friends, no stories, no nothing.

[@vondawilliams6260]

Well sometimes people break up because of an argument not that they are not interested

[@ordon3858]

He’s called me once every week. I’m in NCT. I want him to value me and to start anew. Setting all my boundaries that are non negotiable. What are your thoughts? I’m happy he’s is not a texting person when we’re not talking.

[@Nodaysofff]

What if the family mad at you specifically her daughter

[@Gbb93]

My ex came back and we hit it off for 3 months, and she told me she loves me. Then she backed away (she’s avoidant) and said we should just pursue with caution and play it by ear. Pretty sure she was also dating another guy casually. Since then, she’s told me she thinks we need to move on completely 3 different times, but she isn’t serious with anyone.

[@MF25192]

Im just gonna reach out in 6 months if i dont hear from her till then

[@CatwalkPurz]

This channel does talk about a final “hail mary” (what I thought this video might be about) but there are still some other things to consider when doing this Hail-Mary

[@caseywalsh2172]

Should I put a new profile picture up on WhatsApp ? I dont have any social media for him to check up on me

[@MrSnoop1987]

Me my ex split up like 5 mouths ago as a man I was taught that the man Pursue the female I have done the no contact I tried pursuing her but no Interest she hated me she also a taurus after not showing any interest I stop trying just working on myself now

[@lmart16]

Don't do this. Reach out if you're the dumper, yes, but then just let them do their thing.

[@blacademic]

Did you watch the video?