How To Relax Into Your Authentic Self

Tension is who you think you should be, relaxation is who you are.
Let's talk about it!
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Catcher [dystopian fiction] ▹ www.amazon.com...
Dancing With Elephants [poetry] ▹ www.amazon.com...
FEELS [self-development] ▹ www.amazon.com...
Disclaimer: I am not a mental health specialist, just a Canadian gal with an old soul who likes to crack the ice on deep conversations that can foster personal growth and positive change.
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[@aanchaallllllll]

0:44: 🤔 The concept of tension vs relaxation and being true to oneself. 4:29: 💡 Relaxation and being true to oneself is the key to facing obstacles and challenges in life. 8:36: ✨ The tension of not accepting ourselves fully and being someone we're not can hinder our ability to pursue our passions and be true to ourselves. 12:26: 😌 Accepting and relaxing into who you are, despite societal pressures and inherited beliefs, is a courageous and powerful act. 16:28: ✨ The key to attracting positive things in life is to bring positive energy internally and accept and love oneself unconditionally. 20:42: ✨ Relax into your true essence and find peace by exploring your unfiltered passions and interests. 24:36: 💆‍♀ Relaxation is who you are, tension is who you think you should be. 28:59: 🌟 Relaxation is who you are and doesn't need improvement, but better choices and actions can be made. Recap by Tammy AI

[@lenamaier4819]

I understood it as: You are who you are when no one is looking, not the person you show up as around others. Being kind in front of others won’t make you kind if you an lost wallet whenever no one is looking. I really liked your talk and your points on stoicism you have a really warm way of articulating yourself :)

[@linibara1672]

This was so helpful. I recently had a fallout with a very close childhood friend who repeatedly told me lies about myself. I started believing these lies, and now I constantly struggle with this tension and fear of being too sensitive, of being a burden to others. Now that I set that boundary, I am constantly scared of the narrative she has built in her mind around my behavior, being at war with my truest self. This was a wonderful reminder that this tension will never be beneficial or fruitful and that i will never and should never want to change my truest self. If that vulnerable version of me is not appreciated, it’s time to move on and listen to my intuition instead of her narrative. Thank you!

[@nad_bell_]

I had a childhood friend like that too. It's shocking how much those external narratives about who we are become internalized and start to change us. Wishing you all the best in your journey to freedom - it is hard but so worth it.

[@linibara1672]

@@nad_bell_ Thank you so, so much for letting me feel seen and less alone in this. I appreciate it more than you can imagine!

[@nad_bell_]

@Lini Bara honestly, ending friendships (especially as an adult) is so devastating, and I feel like nobody talks about it! It's a different kind of heartbreak, it's easy to feel like you're the only one.

[@ChessieSamantha]

I can also relate to this and have seen it happen to others as well. When we are truly aligned the people meant for us will align in the right time ❤

[@Changeworld408]

I am curious to understand more i ended my 30 te childhood best friendship and its been almost 15 yes now. You said te friend told lies, but if it hurt te subcontious probably was believing it to be true and it hurt. You would not be hurt otherwise. I think you better investigate you where surprised your friend hut a vulnerable spot and u guess that is why you cut the friendship ❤

[@NotAnotherMercedes]

My first video of yours and I am already the type of woo-woo where I was nodding along in understanding.

[@KelKelray25]

I was scrolling through my subscriptions to find a video to watch while I did my nails and chose this and it was serendipitous😊

[@siobhancasey9492]

Oh thankyou I have been feeling so alone and stuck in tension and unable to connect with myself and others. Your video enabled me to release it and have a good cry xx

[@teatimewithiris5382]

Having a little break in bed as my parents in law take care of my 3 week old baby. I needed this !

[@lindaoropeza9949]

I appreciated the multiple layers of depth in this convo

[@pumpkin_inthesky7016]

Literally was starting my nails as well :); drinking a green tea that i bring back from a Spa from Madrid. Have a great weekend

[@Changeworld408]

I think that this quote is so worth investigating. I see the thoughts that flow through my mind are causing suffering for me and others. These thoughts are often negative non loving judgements about where i am not performing as required by my culture and even fear is causing anxiety and physical problems. ❤

[@Changeworld408]

I agree

[@zzz36999]

Thank you, my love ! I needed this, felt very personal..

[@alexandrapanait566]

Hey Kalyn, I really felt the need to write this. You are so enlightened and grounded in reality at the same time, your talks help me so much I cannot even express in words my gratitude for who you are and for the fact that you decided to show up and share your energy with the world. So thank you ❤❤❤

[@KalynsCoffeeTalk]

Thank you so much! 🥹

[@CherryBerryFashion]

I also want to add that its really helpful to observe around whom in your life do you feel like you can just relax and be yourself and then take note of who you are around them.

[@Juniper000]

Wonderful talk, again! I would highly recommend reading Donna Haraway's 'Staying with the Trouble', which speaks to a very similar attitude towards life as the one you're describing. Donna Haraway is a very interesting figure and has spearheaded some groundbreaking feminist philosophies that have also tried to break through the hierarchies where we as humans put outselves above all else (animals, nature, etc.). Her book is about letting 'the trouble', be that individual or worldly, fuel your energy to keep moving forwards, either personally/individually or through activism, instead of letting 'doomthinking' and nihilism dictate our feelings and actions. The phrase 'staying with the trouble' has become a kind of mantra for me whenever I feel like running away from a big problem in my life and it reminds me to bring it back and work through it instead. I also don't want to be dramatic and say it 'changed my life', but it did shift my attitude to one of resilience, hope and growth instead of avoidance. It's a tough read though, as she tends to invent whole vocabularies on the spot. It took me a WHILE to get through but the pay off is amazing c:

[@ashl3ywynt3r67]

I genuinely don't know how you put this out at just the right time. I keep thinking about what you said and how it came to me in the perfect timing. Love it. Thanks so much sister!

[@MelissaFreeman]

This was very relaxing as I was cleaning my closet and fixing a finger nail 🫶🏼

[@shinyespurrz]

I actually really needed THIS right at this moment. Kalyn thank you.

[@nick9254]

My mind has blown😮, soo many times ❤! Soo enlightening ❤

[@deborahlehman2934]

The timing of this was so perfect, I really needed to hear this today

[@wellsfiction711]

Such a good and truthful quote. I'm starting to learn all about this and it's really beneficial for my mood and outlook on life. Happy to join this community. Have a wonderful day, Kalyn.

[@ARachelB]

I loved this and needed to hear this! This is something I’ve been trying to work on and really resonate with this

[@feralfaerie_]

when you said “state of grace” I immediately thought of Red. 😂 thank you so much for these wise words, Kalyn! your videos on both channels are always such a comfort and breath of fresh air. 💖

[@coolkidd151]

This was a great one! I’ve come to this realization only recently. I was constantly trying to make sure mentally I was strong. It wasn’t until I hit rock bottom I found real strength. This isn’t something I feel like I’ve come into completely but I’m ok with taking my time throughout the process. Would love an updated reading suggestions video!

[@Changeworld408]

Don Miguel luiz❤

[@CherryBerryFashion]

my key takeaways 5:25 22:34 dang 23:23 -24:39 wow 25:42 27:56 29:10-29:29 I also want to add that its really helpful to observe around whom in your life do you feel like you can just relax and be yourself and then take note of who you are around them.

[@pagieliana5197]

I am so grateful I found your page. Thank you for the reminders. * Cheers*

[@nicolemace5717]

Kalyn. Girl. You are a gift. This episode is everything. Know that your voice, interpretations, and presence are making an incredible impact. Thank you.

[@jsmith8904]

I've lived with that tension my whole life, I've always let people talk me out of what I really wanted to do. No More!

[@momentgirl4eva]

🙌🏻

[@yashvi.tuteja]

I love these coffee talks! They're so helpful. Would love it if you could make more content on Finding Balance in life.

[@brittanysingel7884]

I watched this video a few days ago and it really sticked with me. I had to go back to my library to comment. I really appreciate this video and I keep telling myself relaxed is how I should feel. Thank you 💗

[@tessmorgs]

Longtime follower here, and have been enjoying seeing your life transition - definitely feel like you've hit the mark with this one! Great content thanks.

[@ehehv13]

first of all, this really came at a perfect timing because i've been struggling with negative thoughts and feelings about myself for the past 5 days and they were tied exactly to me being overwhelmed by external expectations that other people have of me and my own expectations of myself that are also sourcing from things i absorbed from the external world. i felt really bad and disappointed in myself, and also really lost, and anxious, and depressed because the thought that i will never be able to be something that i think i want to be or that other people want me to be, just consumed my mind. so when i saw the title of this video i was literally astonished 'cause i already assumed that it is exactly what i need to hear and then think about and process, and i was right. this talk was really helpful, and it amazes me how in tune i am with your podcast 'cause you often say things that i already was thinking about or told once before. it often so happens that you're even using the same sentences, like you just read my mind (and i bet that you have a lot of followers that experienced the same thing 'cause there's definitely some higher powers at work here that brought us all together to your channel and into your community). but this time the timing was literally precise. and, secondly, your talk about how we all came from the same energy and how this energy is love that starts from 18:37 is also something that i was looking for some time now. so the question that i wanted to find an answer to was: "why am i worthy just the way i am?" i asked this question because i've stumbled upon these phrases that "you are enough", "you deserve to be loved just as you are", "you are already worthy just because you exist" many times before but my internal response to them was always: "okay, that's cool, i want to believe that, but why, though? why is my existence worthy enough? how can i be worthy and deserving even if i don't do anything important/useful for society/etc.?" and suddenly i got an answer to that here in this video in your thought spiral. i literally had to pause and relplay that 2 minutes part a few times to really absorb and process everything you said. this is the first time that i leave a comment that long after a video but it's cause i really wanted to let out what i'm feeling right now. these experiences of spiritual alignment are getting out of hand, to be honest 😅 but i'm not complaining. it's kind of creepy for my more logical and rational brain, but my spiritual intuitive part really enjoys it. also about timing - i'm not even that into an astrology, i usually take it with a grain of salt - but the june 4th was full moon in sagittarius, and i saw somewhere that in this time you may receive a sign/insight/advice/channeled information from higher dimensions, and i think i can interpret you uploading this video on that date as this insight 😅 'cause it really is suspiciously perfect timing

[@mammateus]

I looove this, thank you!!

[@flori-bloom]

This episode hit home really nicely. What comes to mind is how much I miss the quotes from the intro that you used to add. Silly, I know :D Sending extra love.

[@shoshonna9687]

Beautiful chat. I got something important from it. Drink of the moment: coffee with almond milk and some non dairy vanilla creamer from TJ's.

[@simplybeckab]

It's summertime so I am drinking a Good and Gather Coconut Pineapple Unsweetened Sparkling Water, thanks for this video. Needed! Love ya!

[@mrstrawberry2628]

All the best for your small and big success in your own world future.

[@ireneg.m.9365]

Thank you, Kalyin. This was really helpful ❤❤

[@TysonMichael77]

I’ve always felt “bad” when I want to say something but fear other people won’t like me anymore but I’m learning that’s good because people don’t need to like me for me to be liked

[@lucywilson1141]

Love this video Kalyn! Also wondering if you would do a video/talk on saturn returns?

[@KyshiaMarie]

I feel like these are the types of inward deep dives a friend of mine would benefit from, because she definitely is lost in herself now, but I am struggling with getting her to consume this type of content… at the same time I understand I have to allow her to she needs to learn herself on her own terms. She reminds me of a time when I thought my most relaxed role was a wife or girlfriend. But I see now it was fear of not being enough that was really going on.

[@Changeworld408]

Hey Kysia you are so intelligent and beautifull; thanks for being vulnarable and sharing yr experience. TENSION IS WHEN YOU ARE FORCING YOURSELF TO GET ACCEPTANCE AND AVOID REJECTION. RELAXATION IS WHEN YOU ARE YOU WITHOUT FEAR OF REJECTION OR LONELINESS OR REFUSAL OR ANGER

[@fridagroendahl]

Loved this

[@Girasoles]

Thank you Kalyn🙏🤍

[@sophchoi4678]

Called me out with the art 😶 the way you described that situation 👀

[@ajohonly3721]

Drinking ginger 🫚 tea with Kurkuma .

[@momentgirl4eva]

Black coffee over here

[@amandaweathers8858]

Thank you

[@waywardlaurennn]

Drinking an iced oat mocha 🤎

[@francarroll310]

😊❤

[@Paras2n]

Vanilla chai latte with cinnamon and honey

[@Beccadette]

❤

[@fiammazoli]

eating pesto pasta and listening to this

[@KalynsCoffeeTalk]

Yummm

[@GlamGolightly]

❤❤

[@Baby_Locs]

❤medicine ball Starbucks

[@katrina3407]

Just curious to know, but does your partner Ryan have the same level of spiritual awareness as you do?! If so, that's great! If not, how do you deal with that, if he doesn't meet you on the same 'level?'

[@busylady-t9q]

What kind of coffee it is?

[@VriEvolutionTarot888]

7:00 7:30 why don’t I like some parts of myself?

[@stargirl3459]

Most of thing about spirituality aligns with what i've learnt from God personally, (Jesus ). I felt deep peace when i was close to God. I wanna go back

[@Kaleumin]

Thank you, I had that dilemma of the relaxation versus the tension, you have cleared it up beautifully. You are an incredible soul

[@jovannagarcia5891]

Currently DIY a piercing on myself while drinking water at 12 am

[@KalynsCoffeeTalk]

I hope it went well and you’re rocking the new piercing

[@chrissyhammerbeck4133]

Can I have the recipe to your coffee?

[@АсяЦ-ф4з]

like the quote, but don’t agree with your interpretation: tension is who you think you should be could be about improvement, it usually need some pushes. It’s not have to be something bad, it’s just a part of changing conscientiously

[@chloebillington40]

I can tell you watch Aaron doughty lol

[@KalynsCoffeeTalk]

I actually have no idea who that is

[@chloebillington40]

@@KalynsCoffeeTalk not a bad thing hes just also super spiritual, but great minds think alike

[@lilliebeee]

Can I suggest you read the Bible. I know you love to read, & I kind of want to hear your experience because you are so empathetic and open minded

[@ShornayRules69]

We are on the same level with so much.

[@zoranavojnov]

HI I LOVE YOU just wanted to say I’ve been following you since 2015 🥹🤭🥺