How to RESPOND Rather Than REACT to People and Situations

In this video we look at responding, rather than reacting, to challenging people and situations, and how to deal with intense emotions like fear and anger in a way that allows for greater calm and clarity.
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Background Music: "Bluebell" by Axletree
(Royalty-Free Creative Commons Attribution)

[@leiarose3962]

I sat quietly on a polished rock by the riverbank, listening to the murmurs of the gently flowing stream. It was a lovely morning & my gaze was transfixed on one spot in the crystal clear river. Suddenly I heard a faint voice from within whispered: "It's never the same water every time, is it?". It was a powerful A-ha moment for me. I realized that the name, the word, River has become an image that blocks us to see the reality: the water that flows is never the same. From that day on, I let my mind be like that of the flowing water... always new. But I do feel for those whose minds are like stagnant waters; most people just don't get it - what flows is Life. What stagnates is already dead. Hugs & love, Nada. Keep on flowing, brother.

[@kiranshetty837]

Lea Rose that is so beautiful and true for me too. thank you

[@leiarose3962]

@@kiranshetty837 cosmic✨hugs 🧘

[@nenakills]

Thank you @Leia Rose

[@mdiakite5959]

I will always remember this. Thank you for this revelation. " Its never the same water everytime, is it?" what flows is life. what is stagnate is dead

[@2218_life]

"Be water, my friend" - Bruce Lee.

[@dianelamorticella6053]

Taking sides is the problem. My “family” took sides and I stepped away. I no longer have a family. I have myself. People surrounding me and taking sides, most often against me, is not a family. I did not respond I walked away. I’m staying away because that is the action that keeps me true to myself.

[@goldenpeanuts9]

similar experience , you rock!

[@5668i6]

You are not alone. You are the strong one. The one who has the gift of awareness. I can tell. The same thing happened to me. I am the one who walked away from my family. All took sides against each other and I was tired of the bickering and hate. I actually believed the narrative they'd set for me...for a while anyway. Then I became AWAKE. I really learned to love myself truly. Now I'm trying to show my family the love that I really have for them in my heart and I cant even believe it!!!!! Its working! I thought they hated me for the choices I've made along the way. But they still truly love you even though they may not show it. I hope for you that you all find pathways back to each others hearts.

[@nikhilsukumar23]

Same here. Waiting to step away. You are the good person. Supporting unethical people is not good. You did the right thing. Your family or you aren't enemies against each other. But, the situations created some hostility. Only foolish person will support wrong people stay with people who hate that person. I am such a fool since I don't have a place to go. But, I have a suggestion. Don't blame your family or anyone else about anything. Any talking about others creates sadness in you. Be away from emotions that force you to blame others. Your energy depletes. Instead recognize the bad with kindness but be away from them by wishing them well. Once you stop mentioning people in your conversations you will see how liberated you feel. You will become free and can go ahead with your life goals. Your goals are important and worthy of conversations. Not negative people. Always remember that. Negative people are an illusion. Your goals aren't an illusion.

[@nikhilsukumar23]

@@5668i6 it takes a great heart to forgive others. You are great. I don't feel I can go back to a place where I am not welcome or listed. I prefer to be with positive people.

[@jdbginger]

I thought I was being mean and selfish choosing me now instead of the family thanks I am not alone.

[@lord.kagiso3741]

When you're around people that like to test your peace, it's very difficult. What I truly need right now is to step back from all of the people I know, for a long time.

[@shyamlalani6380]

I believe this is a message from the universe, Spencer. You are surrounded by so many tests that are hoping to break your peace. If you practice in these environments and never allow your peace to be shaken, you will go so far in life. This period of your life where it isn't easy, is the universe training you for what lies ahead. Although, If you are in a toxic situation, I do hope you find safe ground to step away. Sending light, love and positivity.

[@lord.kagiso3741]

@@shyamlalani6380 such kind and encouraging words. I recieve the positive energy you're sending to me. It can be very difficult to handle sometimes, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I do pray I stay strong enough to overcome this challenge. I am sending you positive high vibranting energy also, brother...

[@sadielady5129]

I agree, I always try to be present and when someone I view as a friend knows a subject is a sore one, I say it's in the past and that person doesn't have any effect on me anymore. This person will not accept my answer and continually bring it up to get an emotional reaction from me. No matter how many times I have shrugged it of. I dont want to be confrontational. So it's difficult, I try not to take it personally, but after a while it's disheartening. So I'm not sure if I have something to learn from being around this person

[@sarahjervis5957]

I know no one asked, but to put my two cents in; I think that you're right in that you might not learn anything from being around this person. The lesson might be setting clear boundaries and knowing when to pull away from someone who isn't adding to your life. Hope all's well.

[@canecorsomom2023]

I stepped back from the world about a year ago. I intended to step back in but its much more peaceful here.

[@kiranshetty837]

Namaste Nada, Your messages are a user friendly spirituality and authentic. I see you brother, keep flowing beautifully: love n light blessings

[@angelamontenegro2278]

I understand where you're coming from with the idea of not engaging with this hostile person, but you should feel proud of yourself for putting in the extra effort. To actually take the time and energy to ask them to explain themselves so you can better understand them and fix the situation. That you we're indeed patient and compassionate in the moment instead of just reacting. Most people would have either ignored them or retaliated, but you went the extra mile because you wanted to understand them and let them know that you heared what they were saying (even if you don't agree with them) in their agitated state. You can 110% say you walked away "Hands Clean" of the situation because you did everything you could to solve it. Which is a lot more then most people do now a days and just contributes to your level of kindness & compassion you have for others. Be proud & at peace :) xoxo

[@tonijones4548]

This message is incredibly important to purposely conserving our energy; it describes the ability to willfully manage our energy without resistance but with intention to direct our energy where it serves others and ourselves. Thank you for your service and love.💕

[@danny-li6io]

So many people do not want this solution. People love staying in the problem because hatred and blame and rallying together to defeat a foe, are all so intoxicating. Hate and blame also do not require personal accountability. Please avoid group think and of course, don’t watch the “news”. The more one side can get you to hate the other side, the more control they have over your thought life. I strive to embrace what I LOVE, rather than fighting what I hate.

[@AwakenInsight]

Very well said. I cannot agree more. Thank you for this much needed additional perspective. Wishing you well, always and in all ways!

[@Shawn_TheCosmicTrvlr]

Agreed well said my friend

[@muhammedsaif2076]

I wish i could like this comment more than once. Hit the nail right on the head!

[@plus__]

Yet you and another person agreeing in this solution are taking part in a group think that is in all ways except the name isnt news, a person talking about what he thinks to another person

[@danny-li6io]

@@plus__ on a micro level yes, to avoid mainstream MACRO level, polarized, bi-nary, mainstream divisiveness. That’s like comparing a grain of sand to all the sand on a beach 1000 miles long. Don’t worry, I don’t think we will ever hear the news media encouraging us to seek any positive, love based solutions requiring personal accountability and seeking to find a common ground through compassion.😂

[@goddessk4610]

I'm so grateful for this 🙏🏽 ii allow my emotions to control my thoughts and actions rather than allowing myself time to sit and feel the emotions first. It's a very difficult bad habit to stop but I'm working on it and I will get in control of my emotions

[@GratefulZen]

You sound already self-aware & willing. I would only add that you might consider not trying to get in control of your emotions but to be aware of them as they arise, pause, and not reactively act on them.Lastly realize most of us do not do this perfectly. Thank you for even caring about this!🙏

[@goddessk4610]

@@GratefulZen thank you and I have been practicing to be more aware rather than to try to control them and I must say that helps a whole lot more. It takes pressure off of me feeling like a bad person when I can't just go from mad to happy, instead I just realize that I'm upset and ask myself why and then it kind of just dissolved. Thanks!

[@GratefulZen]

@@goddessk4610 Sure! As Yusuf/ Cat Stevens said “I’m on the road to find out.”☮️

[@GratefulZen]

@Awakened What is the implication of this? Found this article: blogs.scientificamerican.com/observations/the-hippies-were-right-its-all-about-vibrations-man/

[@gestucvolonor5069]

good luck!

[@missindependent5535]

Thank you for this. I struggle with feeling guilty when setting boundaries. I often allow others to harm me because I don't want to hurt anyone else by saying no. Thanks for touching on this.

[@x_MissMayhem_x]

Something you said resonated with me. That we're going through a period of social turmoil, hostility, division and conflict. Sometimes I think that humanity is building up to something, like a kettle starting to boil until it reaches it's peak. Anyhow, I just wanted to acknowledge this and say that I am grateful that I'm not alone in sensing this. Thank you ☺🙏

[@IvanPozoIllas]

Thank you for the personalized gift of Insight brother Nada. A moment without internal conflict awakens in us a deeper response to a peace that needs not to be understood but just accepted. Less is more, silence speaks louder than passionate dialogues making some winners and others wrong. Winning an agruement loses the peace.

[@rickeshpatel4025]

Yup I totally understand and have had the same issues. At the end of the day you don’t have control over anything except yourself and your actions. Observation without emotion is key. I see it with myself. Emotions good or bad cloud ones perception of reality.

[@darlagail56]

I have been suffering with PTSD all my life from a violent upbringing. My blood pressure goes down when hearing your voice . My breathing becomes easier and I start to relax . The fear goes away For a few minutes which is heaven for me. I’m 64 years old and very thankful for your messages and the soft empathy, Thank You. 🙏🏼

[@ANDYRS-]

This video arrived at the perfect moment 🙌🏻

[@laurenjones2511]

I was raised in a volatile home. It has caused great conflict in me and the person I want to be. I find myself reacting to things I know that I shouldn’t, and not responding in a way that reflects my ideals. It will be hard, but I will work on this. I struggle with being able to vocalize during moments it wasn’t needed and silencing myself in moments I need to convey something important. Thanks for this.

[@dayamitrasaraswati6276]

I love your interpretation on compassion! My name means compassionate friend. So many people misinterpret compassion as a sign you are a bleeding heart for all to place their burdens on. This is not true compassion. Sometimes compassion is walking away while wishing the other person well. Compassion must also be reserved for oneself. Compassion could mean walking away and allowing the other person the freedom to be who they are.

[@robotttts]

I just want to say I woke up briefly during your video. I had to pause because I started laughing and crying. It was an intense feeling. The seed was planted months ago, but something you said, or perhaps your energy, made it finally click. Thank you very much.

[@Loli88828]

Omg thank you. Got tears. Bcs ive Been reactive and hostyle my Hole life. Due too very Long time with sexual abuse in the family and growing up with sadtistic narsisistic abuse. And i try too stay awere living with CPTSD and BPD. And most People fight with me back when all i want really is love. This video made me feel, seen, heard, felt, understood, welcomed and loved. And means alot since most People shame me then ignore me. Thank you..

[@Snowstar50]

Thank you for this video. Aug and sept have been TERRIBLE lots of massive arguments with lots of members of both families and attack from institutions that has caused us to be forced to emigrate.

[@yoshiiixp1691]

I needed this man. You're truly a breath of fresh air. Thank you.

[@peterferguson3395]

Thank you for this. Just in time. I needed to stop and rest on the river bank. I love that. Peace brother.

[@mccarthew]

I'm an intensely emotional person and me reacting on my emotions have made my life sooo much more difficult. It's insane. I'm really working on this but it's so hard. The hardest thing in the world for me. Sometimes it brings me to a point to just want to give up this life, this stupid body and fucked up brain

[@sbqntlyawake3813]

You will find peace and love in God, and you will start to love your life... But change can only come with truth, and you are on the right path.

[@danaworsley3921]

I needed this. In a time when I want to let all my anger out I held for so long at someone who deserves it I am finding to find a way to cope thru understand and trying to redirect myself...

[@SuraDoes]

This will save your relationships and therefore can save your life! 🙏🏾 I’m going to try this with my family members when they antagonize me and see how it goes. Wish me luck!

[@tts626]

We need to be teaching this rather than the so-called "sensitivity training" that has become so prevalent. This goes along with the other video, that it's OK if others don't like or approve of us. Our own actions are all that are in our control. What other people do and think are not. No matter the situation or how anyone acts towards us, we have the power to disengage, center ourselves, and respond accordingly, or just let it go, continue on our own path. This is the heart of resilience and wisdom, which are very muck lacking all around in these times.

[@arielventi]

I am so glad I found your page 🔆 thank you for your messages

[@victoriakraft6055]

Thank you Dear Heart🦄 For souls who are not introspective the changes and evolving of our spirits will be a struggle. May God bless and inspire all.

[@happylatina9920]

I needed to hear this. Amazing message!! Thank you.

[@circleofmoonmusic9743]

I'm so glad I found your channel man. It's so down to earth, helpful and soothing.

[@milkmanswife93696]

no idea why this appeared in my feed, but your story reminded me of something similar that happened to me recently, where I was in the position of the person you talk about. I'm currently going through a period of gender transition, and as often happens to people like me, someone in public assumed I was a certain gender which I don't identify with, and referred to me as such to their child, which is always a very unpleasant experience. it was a brief, passing moment, so I didn't react or respond in that moment, but what I did do was tell my friends on facebook about it in our private chat room. what I needed in that moment was pure emotional support, but what I got instead was a lot of rationalisation and analysis, which spiralled into sort of a discussion where I got the feeling I had to justify my emotions, and ultimately made me feel betrayed by my own friends, who questioned me instead of just offering me support. they did so in good will, of course, but it nevertheless made me feel intense disappointment and anger, causing me to lash out at them in quite a harsh manner. I even tried to calm down before continuing to talk to them, but I felt completely restless; the emotions were too much for me to handle. I had the option of either bottling them up, which would have been very unhealthy, or releasing them in a destructive manner, which I did. we made up a few days later after I had met with my therapist and also asked a mutual friend who hadn't been involved (and who has a queer gender identity themself) to talk to the friends who had been involved. I apologised for the way I had acted, and managed to calmly explain to them why I had done so, and they all accepted my apology and expressed that they were happy we had made up. I hope that next time I'll be able to clearly communicate to them whether I need constructive input or whether I simply need emotional support.

[@barbarabates6508]

Received this exact message from Spirit on Tuesday. Thank you.

[@stevenlight5006]

When misdeeds are done ,they must be confronted,called out ,told .it's not blaming it is responsibly ,a learning .

[@pizza3677]

I love how you use REAL LIFE examples from your own experience thank you

[@Just_Jerileigh]

Sending you love from Botswana. Thanks for your message ❤️

[@MoonNewin]

Wow, thank you so much. The way you formulate this is really understandable

[@FrancesShear]

Responding is called making the most appropriate choices. Reacting is trying to control the situation with anxiety, hostility and resentment.

[@kimbam1282]

just found you channel and I couldn't be happier right now...I've really needed help during this journey...and your whole tone and words helps me tremendously...I actually cried through half the video....I have never heard anyone put it quite the way you do. Calm is the 🔑

[@lindavaughn8088]

I so needed to hear every word of this ...thank you

[@debbolz6847]

Your words touched the very core of me in such an authentic, loving way. Thank You for being you. Xx

[@keawhitmore3842]

I have found myself in a few situations of fear based people attacking me. Their hostility is shocking. I have had to say to them, "No." With my hand up as if a stop sign. "I'm not your toxic waste dump." And walk away. I always say a prayer for them, that they may see their behavior, for what it is, and take responsibility for it and hopefully not act like that toward others. Fear needs a hug, the conundrum is fear is too afraid to accept it. We all must stay true, to the Divine within and not allow fear to bully us.

[@JeepTJay6]

Liked, shared and subscribed! I have a lot of friends that could seriously benefit from this advice. Thanks for sharing.

[@His_Name_Was_King]

Well spoken....emotions and logic do not like being in the same room together.

[@mirandamom1346]

I listen to many of your lectures, but this is the one I keep coming back to. Thank you!

[@mirandamom1346]

One year later, and I’m still coming back to this one!

[@beateo6177]

Thank-you for addressing this topic. Much needed in this era of communication by social media.

[@ThisisDaniel]

Amazing insight, so grateful for the wonderful, calming message 🙏🏾

[@timmorris4130]

Thank you my teacher .

[@laurenjessica8127]

Thank you. For the first time in months, I have relaxed and switched the world off.

[@shhhsabrina]

I had a coworker cross a boundary at work a couple of months ago. I was feeding a client and she came over as if she was going to grab the spoon out of my hand, knowing I was there. I know the best solution was to not react however, when I did, I stated she was controlling and that I had it handled. When she heard that, it triggered her. And she flipped out. She was yelling and cursing and was very defensive. At the end of it all, she accused me of cursing and yelling when in actuality she did ( she stated the lie to her partner who is my supervisor) He seemed to take to her defense of course.. I know that the best solution to an issue such as this is to address the boundary that was crossed afterwards rather than in the moment.

[@svharken6907]

Its very difficult if the other person is almost completely lacking in empathy and awareness of others. these kinds of people behave in a very particular way and its self respectful to move away completely from them. please be careful and you don't have to get involved with them. i was not able to get away from my father who was a 'toxic narcissist, as a child, but i found some sympathy for him as he was orphaned at the same age my parents were divorced, but i do not have a relationship with him and am at peace.

[@divenursok]

Very difficult when someone is close to you, very broken, has anxiety and medicating with alcohol and lashing out. One can only hope and pray.

[@The_Eno]

I remember this every time I sit by as a vehicle that is 20 seconds away drives by. I sit there and ask myself why I didn't just cross as I Had plenty of time. I was reacting out of fear instead of assessing the situation and seeing that the only reluctance holding me back was the reaction which came from fear to trust my own judgement ( wisdom is seeing that this all comes from an imbalance of energy). So meditate my friends. Meditate every day. Current best meditations for beginners: Mindfulness of breathing, and kind/loving. Best meditations for those awakened: Win Hof/joe dispenser third eye activation- melatonin meditation. Peace to all reading this and beware the number of their name.

[@kazzj62]

Thank you -I love the sound of those little birds - it reminds me of when I was in WA where I was very happy and had made many lovely friends who I haven't seen now for years. I wish I could go back but I guess my fear is that we will be ruled now by this virus and not be allowed to travel without having a vaccine.... I also lost a good friend because of our mutual reactivity ... and I couldn't repair this beak and ultimate loss . Thank you for this lovely message.It's opening up so much truth that is actually very painful to face it. But I am going to practice accepting it.

[@chickenjoeclark]

I really appreciate this.

[@erikapearl6946]

This was so incredibly insightful and helpful.🦋 Thank you so much, Nada.:) Every word spoke directly to my heart and soul. I really appreciate you and all your wonderfully-worded wisdom.💗

[@johnsjourney4978]

so mature and authentic.. I enjoy listening to you so much

[@wilsondominguesfrazao1600]

Great videos you make. I found the channel today and i'm loving it. Keep up the good work. I love all the calm you take to speak... i wish to get that level of speaking with others in the future.

[@roykremer9357]

When I listened to your calm thought provoking valuable words of wisdom,I have become so annoyed with myself in the way I have done the complete opposite to what you have advised.How stupid I feel right now.

[@babblingidiot7903]

the video is excellent and the comment section is GOLD. Love this channel.

[@f.dmcintyre4666]

Really nice video, was relaxing w/ the background music, yes I sometimes brush my troubles aside by being mindful that we are in an illusion "It's just a test", not always so ezy but it does soothe sometimes......Many thanks.....Blessings....

[@werthechange369]

Thank you so very much for these keys to better understand life.🙌🏼 💯% agree with you!💗 LOVE IS SO KEY

[@neoxenia7014]

I try to live by the Taoist concept of "Wu Wei" of sailing rather than rowing, thank you, Alan Watts. Many thanks to you too, very helpful words in these times.

[@trungoman1706]

Too bad the algorithm isn’t gonna suggest this video to the many people who need it

[@KevinoftheCosmos]

When your compassionate and rational response is met with only hatred, you have to know how to use a calm strength to find an exit. I'm looking for that exit right now.

[@memastarful]

So proud of you. Your videos are helping many people. Way to go 👏

[@elizabeththompson2998]

God Bless you for sharing your experiences.Your videos have been life changing for myself, my family's & friends especially during Covid 19

[@minecraftfuntazerbuilds9347]

I feel like I totally get you, man. I’m like you.

[@nunubell9642]

Idk why this popped up in my suggestion.... But I'm gonna watch it tho could be a sign

[@svitlanasharma5110]

Thank you very much If anyone would speak to me a word and explained these things to me on time, probably, my life wouldn't turn the way it turned. Thank you for sharing this knowledge

[@audunique6905]

Absolutely LOVED THIS! ❤️

[@dancarney8724]

Thank you for sharing this information. I find it very helpful and will try to apply it more in my daily life.

[@cannerobertson1]

Pure gold, beginning to end.💛

[@EMOTION_INTELLIGENCE]

SHOOTOUT MR. AWAKEN INSIGHT ❤❤❤❤ BIG FACTS TOO ❤❤❤❤

[@joseyhanna104]

Sorry for your lost friendship, I’m sorry for you both, I hope someday you’ll be over this....and want to be friends again. I enjoy your videos very much, thank you ❤️

[@dreescobar187]

Damn this is on point! Locked myself in my room with my Alexa on max volume forcing my toxic roommates to listen lol all love man

[@compteofficiel4112]

love the river analogy..most enlightened.

[@ashleycox5145]

You just saved some one life 🙂 your a hero 😁🙂

[@askezika]

This is exactly what we need right now, thank you ✨💯🔥💕

[@maycibeth8094]

I am so so grateful for this, and your videos. Thank you so much for sharing

[@Vlad-wl3fw]

Can't believe youtube recommended this to me. I'm pleasantly surprised! This is some fantastic knowledge shared by a wise man. Great content. Keep up the good work, sir! It's been very helpful!

[@apetheory93]

I AM SO HAPPY THAT i STUMBLED UPON THIS VIDEO/CHANNEL

[@AkilaShavinda]

This man is an artist of living...

[@iamwhoyousayiam6773]

Study God's word. The indwelling Holy Spirit guides you in all things.

[@ladyzinada5341]

Thank God for You teaching HEALING.

[@GreencampRhodie]

The modern snowflake world doesn't allow anger, which is suppressing & repressing people & stopping them being their authentic self, which is further increasing hostility, & the alarming rise in narcissists & socio-psychopaths is fuelling the fire. Anger is healthy in context. Some good steps mentioned, but less implementable in concrete jungles compared to when amongst nature.

[@christinaperez208]

My friend I agree with a lot of ur point in ur message; however with out realizing you just contraindicated yourself in the very first 3 words of your first sentence. Snowflake. Is the very thing that he’s talking about in the video. Even if you feel like oh snowflake that’s nothing I could have said worst. The way the sentence is worded is that of micro aggression, it’s name calling, and is name calling not that of an attack. That’s where people turn off, usually when there’s UNNECESSARY (keyword) conflict and things of that nature. I hope you see what u mean 😁

[@GreencampRhodie]

@@christinaperez208 attack in self-defence is more than valid. I don't attack unless in self-defence. My terminology was in reference to when I have been attacked - by dangerous snowflakes.

[@sidstar1001]

Grateful for you sharing this message, which brings not only clarity to the mind but also gentleness to the spirit. Love.

[@seanjmoran]

This is the first video I have ever seen from this channel. Subscribed.

[@shubhobratabhattacharya4337]

so much peace comes from the video. Om Shanti.

[@berniceboudreau292]

Thank you soo much for this video and sharing your experience!!!❤️❤️❤️

[@NickYT90]

You're a kindred spirit, your videos are wonderful and insightful. Thank you :]

[@edwintepuendikum3527]

Thanks for your words of wisdom and your time 🙏🏿🙌🏿

[@Gypsymumma90]

Alot of my triggers here lately is when I feel inadequate by others..thank you for this video

[@Thisiskrisssyy]

Im so thankful you exist

[@elru374]

Thank you for sharing your wonderful insight.

[@GraceOen]

Thank you for sharing your journey .. it helps me to accept what life offer.

[@patstenspeed]

It's great to know I'm not alone in this.

[@or5026]

Good thing about anger it makes me more courageous more brave. We are to much afraid to loose people so we give too many discounts.

[@michaelshelden6597]

5:55 I believe I hear a stellar Jay in the background. You wouldn't happen to live in the pnw by chance. Such a majestic bird. I'd do a search on the spirit animal stellar Jay and Angel number 555 if you feel intuited to do so. Thanks for this amazing content. Namaste.

[@AdianGess]

Thank you, love listening

[@bijouxglass]

You are so calming. Thank you.

[@maryanne9993]

Wisdom is beautiful, im guilty, thank you for this reminder.. much love