How to Set Boundaries With Toxic Family Members || 9 Signs of a Toxic Family Member

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HI all, I am an Pakistani vlogger , this is my channel "Home vlogs with ERUM”. My dear virtual family I’m very happy that you found my video on KZbin and stop by... I welcome you all to my channel " Her Fab Life in Islamabad "
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[@naushinsayyed469]

Iam indian.jaise aapne bataya same aise hi hai meri saas meri nanad jinki shadi nhi hui hai aur kal ki aayi hui dewrani bhi.mai badi bahu hu lekin koi izzat nhi.mere ammi abbu ko bhi bohot giraya in logo ne.😢mere husband ko bhi bhadka dete the.Alhumdulillah ab mere husband ko samajh aa gyi aur mai ab alag rehti.pehle joint me thi.thanks mam.❤

[@attiqashafiq9977]

Ap K topic bht achy hoty hen life mn ye cheezen face Ki hen aadhi zindgi to ase hi guzar jati hein chkron mn Ansan nfsyati ho jat

[@kashifshahzad3528]

Absolutely right

[@rosemariefernandes6600]

Thank you for sharing your ideas. Many a times we know these things but do not have the guts to implement them due to fear but if we have someone like you to guide us and back us up we pick up courage.

[@farzanabegum7818]

Yes Mam these things I always faced. I ignore those people in my life. Thank you so much for your sharing this.👌💗

[@Learn-eco]

Ap ny Jo toxic people ki qualities btye hn ,wo Sb qualities mery husband or susral mn hn.or mn morwat mn Sb sunty rhy hn,ap ny sch kha is Sb sy mental health effect hoty h,or Meri mental health+physical appearance dono hi 2 months mn khrb ho gi.

[@hinarashid1165]

Same my situation

[@asiakhanasiakhan-do9gc]

Nice yr..mera bhi dil kr rha h join krne ka..itni classie jga rehti h ap.. MashaAllah 4 ur confidence n ur life style ..Allah save u fton evil eye ..ameen

[@shobasrinivasan686]

What to do if the toxic people happen to be MIL or husband... they think it's ok to throw their frustration on daughter-in-law or wife. Anything goes wrong, we are to blame. It's ok for them to cross limits with words but we are judged wrongly most of the time when we express our inability. There is always only expectations...

[@herfablife]

take stand for yourself

[@Svayrasdreamland]

agar stand lo tou wo kehtay haen chlo bhai ghar say niklo. paper phnch jayay gay.

[@cosmos2210]

​@@Svayrasdreamlandbaji itni himaat ya value nai ha tuo phir tuo tmhain hi brdasht krna hoga.

[@bawarchidunya]

​@@Svayrasdreamland stand esy lena ha kisi ko pta b na chaly ap nay kahawt tu suni ho ge ( saanp b mar jay or lathi b bach jay) naql karny kay liy b aql ki zarurt hoti ha

[@branchy8639]

My MIL is in disguise like meeti churri , manipulating .

[@mirmariafarooq]

Next video should be for new moms. Us main guide krain guide krain new born ki shopping kesay krni hai, after delivery khud ko r baby ko kesay manage krna hai, recommend good baby products and also share your experience.

[@hervlogs_1]

You're right. Psychology also says people react when they aren't able to control you! So don't let people to control you. Do whatever you want but silently.😎 Is k baray mn to hmaray islam mn bhi hai k insan ko kisi dusray insan say darnay ki zrurat nahi!🫶🏻 Wesay b jitnay bhi toxic susral hain let them be. un k pichay apni positive energy waste krnay ki bjaey esay kamo mn energy invest kren jiska apko kal ko output milay ❤

[@BilalKhan-n7l8s]

Thankuu sooo muchhhhh❤for sharing your ideas. Kasam se ap ki baton se bhut hosla milta hi bilkul aesay he kuch log hain jo preshan krtay hain plz... Ap is trah k ideas apny vlog mn lazmi share kia kray🤗💯

[@Nosha-jg4nx]

Bhot Achi lgi ap ki baty ma b bhot furmaberdar thi mgr us sy kehi ziyada tklefy uthai pr Allah Pak UN SB k bedly ma bhot Acha sila Diya ab ma Germany ma Hun Ur Allah Pak Ka krm hai jtna Shuker Ada kro utna km hai .mehnet kro bedlam Allah Dy GA.

[@abdullahshah5963]

Aap ka aik aik word bilkul theek ha, main aesay logon k samnay khamosh rhti hun , aur aap believe krain Allah mera bdla khud he le leta ha ,jis se mera dil bht zyada satisfied ho jata ha.

[@herfablife]

Thanks!

[@nasreenkhan6729]

Wooow This is my 3rd video I have seen of Urs.This topic was really the best.I find it useful n positive n help me because I have toxic people in my family.I really need this So that I can handle them living in same house.Plzzz Share more videos like this helpful video,As U can understand the person.Thank u So much.Take care ❤❤❤

[@madihacookingvlogs1512]

Itna koi sakoon milta ha apki baton se wait hota apki video ka very nice shearing sister 👍

[@amiratalha-s1u]

Ap MashAallah bohat positive way may problems deal krti Hy.....you are too too much strong emotionally..... Every woman should be strong like you to spend a successful life..... especially after marriage......

[@atiaraja8236]

You have made a very good and proper video,precise and upto point,covering each and everything,thank you

[@mohibrehman6121]

Aoa....meri peyari sis ye sari chezen mane face ki hn....mgr afsos us waqt mujhe itni samjh nhi thi...aj me wo sb krti hun jo ap advices de rahi hn... aj me kisi ko b apni life mn interfare nhi krne deti...door se salam karti hun...unki oqaat pr unko rakha hua hy.

[@AliAhad-ti6ox]

Bohat acha topic hai ji mein khud asy logo ka shukar hui hon main apni jethanio Sy tang aa kar chup rah rah kar bohat Kuch gawa dia even k 2 baby boy delivery time death hu gai main gusa Cantrell karty karty sab gawa dia ab mery husband un Sy alg hu gay Mera aik beta hai mashallah Sy

[@AsifAfridi-z7g]

Ufff

[@nasranasra4634]

bht khoob aap ki baten amal krne k qabil hn bilkul esa hi krna chahie kafi deep tajurba he aap ko toxic logon ka me to zaroor amal krongi thanks

[@erumafd2295]

If the Toxic relationship is with the husband, then what to do.

[@Ghosthere23]

Koi tareeqa mily to mjy b btana plzz

[@motasimkhan-yj8kk]

Huzband k sath toxic ni hota as pas waly log ise toxic bnaty hn ur jo asa krty hn unko pechchan ln ur unka elaj krn

[@motasimkhan-yj8kk]

Trika ye is rishty ko toxic bnany waly ko pehchan krn ur unka elaj krn

[@bintezahra7757]

Sister husband bs sath dany ki bat krty hain laken daty nhi sirf apni marzi krty hain hr kam main 18 sal ho gye ab to bachy bi college ga rahy hain na gany kub change aye ga aik acha or neat ghr chahti hon laken susral sath nhe dy raha

[@AmjadKhan-fb6sh]

Jitna ho skay onka khyal rkhain nail neiati s

[@Irtazarao098]

Assalm o alaikum Ap ne sahi bataya aise hi handle karti thi mein jab se Allah pak se apni batain share karna start kinnor quran ki tafseer start ki tab se is sab toxic people ki koi value nahi rahi wo him ko kia kehte hein kia nahi kehte bas Allah pak ki raza ke liye un ko ignore karte hein jis pe bi hum ko hi sawab milta he or sakoon bi Agar un ke liye grudges rakhain to bi theek nahi jo ke hum ko hi tension mein rakhti he ye baat so Un ko maaf kar ke Allah pak ki khatir un ko ignore karain this is better for our soul peace

[@basitali4121]

You are luckiest person ke apni mother ke sath itna quality time spend kr rahi ha MA❤ mother is world ke sub se precious 💞 relation ha😢

[@CryastalAwan]

My God mujay lgta tha k sirf m he in sb cheezo ke victom hoo but meri sari behne he bechari preshan hn.lekin yakeen manen in sb bato n itna sakoon dia hai jis koi had he nhi.

[@user-kr8qk7bn1e]

Dear ap ki videos se buht motivation milti hai please make more videos on this topic

[@Svayrasdreamland]

all these rules don't work if your husband is really peak level toxic person.plz make a vlog for such wives,whom husband brutally taunt them.even silence policy don't work they didn't stop.wIves have no way to go.

[@saimairfannasiri1211]

Exactly 😢

[@herfablife]

sure

[@lifewithmisbah0044]

Really needed 💯

[@Nasir-pt3dd]

Ap ki aaaammmiii ka sun k mje buht acha lagta hai ... aise he mai ammmiii k sath jati wo buht khush hoti ti ...

[@dressideas575]

aj kafi din tension k bad bht sakoon mila ap ke btay sun kr apnay baray ma socha apni care ke Allah ap ko bht kushiyan day ❤❤

[@herfablife]

aameeen

[@crafty5714]

Aapki speech sun kar mere aansu jari ho gaye. Maine 16 saal.. Apni saas ka sun sun kar guzar diye, par ab mujh se bardaasht nahi hota. Roz roz to bahes nahi hoti par jab bhi wo mujh par bigadti, baat be baat mujhe sunati to pichli saari baten mere zahen me gardish karne lagti, aur meri aankhon se ashkon ki barsat jari ho jati aur 2,3 din tak nahi rukti. Pehle to roz roz unki baten unka gussa sun kar roz roz roti thi. Dewrani aane k baad usme kuch kami aayi thi par jab wo saas se bezar ho kar separate ho gayi to phir se main hi shikar ban gayi. Par ab bas, maine kuch decide kiya hai, maine unse baat karni band kardi, jo bhi poochna hai bacchon ke zariye poochti hoon. Ghar ka sara kaam kar leti hoon, hum apni zimmedari nibhayen to kafi hai na. Am I right?

[@herfablife]

Stand for yourself

[@YavishtYadav]

Mene bhe sas se bat karni band kar diya

[@crafty5714]

@@YavishtYadav maine kuch dino baad hi baat karna start kar di thi. Ek ghar me rehte huwe ye possible nhi hai, aap bhi meri tarha react karen mtlb wo kuch bura kahenge bhi to ye samajh kar neglect kar dena ki unke paas dimag km hai isliye aisa keh rahe hain Waise ek baat kehna chahungi ke kabhi bhi doosron ki soch ko right samajh kar apni zindagi ko uske according chalane lagna galat hai, hamare halat hum hi behtar jante hain, aur zaruri nhi hai ke sab insan ek jaise hon, hum doosron ka sun kar apni zindagi kyun matasser karen...

[@sajcooks2828]

Thanks for sharing this video u have showed positive feedback

[@seemakhan7322]

Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu Mashaallah bahot ache se samjhaya aap ne … aisa lagraha tha jab aap ko sunrahi thi to koi maa apne bache ko jeene ka sahi tariqa sikharahi ho Mujhe 2 months old baby hai n i was very confused how to deal with toxic people Jazakhallahu khaira

[@anumadaan8854]

Apki video bhut achi hoti ha bt mai stable nhi ho pati jyda time ke liye jb tk apki video dekhti hu tb tk thode din bhut acha motivate rhti ho thode din baad fir vhi sb hone lgta ha pls reply

[@kamranslifestyle1286]

144 assalam O alaikum bhen mashallah beautiful vlog may Allah bless you and your family

[@rabianiaz9919]

Very nice sharing❤❤

[@pollytheparrot8929]

Thank u sooooo sooo much for this... Very much needed it... ❤❤🤗🤗🙏.. Yea my family is like this to the point 😞.. But what to do if they don't respect your boundaries!?

[@herfablife]

You are so welcome

[@IslamicTalks740]

They have to respect..u just ignore dem...talk only wwn it's necessary...nd den Dey will understand automatically

[@Islamic.status870]

I dont believe k itnnnnnnaaaa similar hai watever u r speaking is 100% true in my case...

[@sairasaraf854]

I totally agree with all the points. This is possible only if a woman has a emotional support from her husband. What if, a husband himself is toxic ,than it is not possible. Husband plays a very very important role between his parents and wife. It is upto him to create a good balance .It is the husband who has to set boundaries and not let his mother or sisters interfere. He should be there for his wife and children. As you have mentioned that you suffered a lot from your in-laws but now you have changed. Erum , tell me, all these past years did you have emotional and backup support from your husband .Was your husband supportive in those years with you ?

[@herfablife]

Thank you so much!

[@alizadiary494]

Bohot saari baate aapne thik kahi, kuch ache Idea 💡 bhi diye it was helpful, thankyou 😊

[@zaryabzaryab2299]

Assalamolaekom aapi bohot achi baty kar rahi ho aap meri zindagi bilkol asi logo my hy allah aap ko bahot khosh rakhy ❤❤❤

[@creativelife9491]

Hi mam thanks so mah I am from India pr apka y video bhot a6a lga me espe jrur amal Krugi thanks mam

[@sheezakhan410]

Ur most of the tips right to deal such people give headaches n interfere in other’s personal life. Everything we learn when we get mature but still sometimes we give other people priority on ourselves which is wrong bc we also have to keep our self respect in order to keep our dignity in family n in society. Comparison n jealousy I faced a lot in my life n i always preferred not to let it go but when it’s too much n habit then we have to stop them n remind their limits 😅. Tc

[@herfablife]

Great job.

[@foziawaqar2023]

Your motivation tips spread a good vibes

[@ArbazMugalMugal]

Thank you ma'am thank you so much mere Puri sasural wale mujhe pareshan Kar Raha hai wahi baat tum achchi maa Nahi ho .Yaha tak ke MERI beti 6 year ki hai .Mera beta 4 Saal Ka unko mere liye akele mein Bura bhala kahte mere bachche disturb rahte hai.aapki baate bhut help ful rahi mere liye

[@nidakazmi6027]

ap ki video sy bohut motivation milti h; mery shadi joint family mn hui h; mery ami ne hamysha mujhy ye he kha k ahar wo khush huy to hum khush; yakeen karen uk ko khush karty karty apni zat tak ganwa de; lekin mujhy us toxic family se kuch hasil ni hua; ab mujhy meaky mn ye kha jata h k unko jawab dety to wo sahi rhty; is mamly ko ab kisy handal karun plz tel me

[@faysworld1312]

Aoa, toxic people sirf in laws mein nahi hoty apny sagay behan bhai b hoty hain .meri real sister mery sath asy karti thi kuch arsa mujhy samjh nahi aye mein depression mein ja rahi thi mujhy back neck pain rehny lag gaya tha mery husband bohat achy hain mera 12 years ek hi beta hai mein apni life mein bohat khush hon lakin sister mujhy bohat depressed karti thi jab mujhy samaj aye mein ne us ko block kar dia ab mein bilkul theak hon agar mein asa na karti toh shahid deep depression mein chali jati .

[@summilonely4928]

Toxic husband ko kaise deal kare aur agar hum unki zimedari uthate hue Apne aap ku independent nahi rakh sake aur ye log samjhte hai k ye to hum pe depend hai

[@farhanabegum6877]

Aslkm behan aap Quran parho translation ke sath inshallah aap ka masla hal hoga inshallah jazakallah 😊

[@herfablife]

relax Ask Allah

[@hadiyabano2136]

It's first time I'm watching your videos and it feels k almost every video Is made for me❤ thank-you for giving positive energy to us ❤

[@twinklepuff1241]

toxic logon se jaan chooranay ke baad jo aik takleeef dah regret sa rehta ha ke mene itna time kiu suffer kia kaash main pehlay is se jaan chura leti. aik aur cheez hoti ha ke baar baar bateen yaad aati hen falan time me is ko aisay reply dena chahye tha. in sab cheezon se kese chutkara paysa jaay

[@BushraGhazi-gj6lk]

Bahut tension dete hai aise log thank you appi aapki saari bate bahut achchi or helpfull hai allah aapko khush rakhe,,❤️😊

[@shahjahanansari8323]

Wish I had watched this earlier. Messed up my life as I did not have husband's support to deal with such people. Now he is also realizing but I have already faced a lot of losses. Love from India.

[@asifaishasolangi6218]

excellence points to face toxics person I really so inspire you

[@fakhranaaz8972]

Bahut sukoon mila apko sunker , mere saath aisa hi huwa tha,

[@herfablife]

Thank you 😊

[@MuhammadIbrahim-md6bt]

Mera BP high ho jata hay or heart issues hotay ja rahay hen .😔

[@pollytheparrot8929]

Mam, my mom shows partiality between both us sisters, which is very frustrating.. Now on serious matters she takes me for granted, taunts me, not standing for me, comparing too etc.. I just want to cut off from them

[@kanwalazam3171]

U r very true lam not amazed but what I am amazed at is they blame other people of same qualities what they have .

[@hafizjee5253]

Main aisa hi krty hon mery in laws aisy hi hain so main un ko hamesha ignore hi krty hon jub ladny ka un ka mood ho to main waha say uth k nikal jaty hon wo isy bat k pechy bolty hain k ye hmari bat nai sunty bat nai krty dua salam say agy koi bat nai krty shadi ko 4 year ho gy hain😊

[@tauqirahmad5347]

Mjy phly ye video dekhni chahiaye the ... sari batain relatable hain...😢

[@krazi8180]

Ma sha Allah barak Allah very well explained, Jazzak Allah khair baji.

[@tahiraiftikhartutorial4243]

کیا کریں جب سسرال والے ہم سے تو مسکرا کر ملیں۔ مگر شوہر کو جذباتی انداز سے ہمارے خلاف کردیں۔اپنے غیر اہم مسائل کو ہمارے گھر کے اہم مسائل پر حاوی کردیں؟

[@deebanaaz413]

No need this topic but love to listen 👂 ur sound.s already liked baji

[@herfablife]

Thanks a lot 😊

[@humerasohail6393]

Seriously no words for your praise ❤❤❤❤

[@herfablife]

thx dear

[@jassipunia3913]

Mujhe lgga tha k m hi preshaan hu but ab lgta hai k bhut sisters mere jese hain mere ko meri saas ne kitchen se nikaal diya k ye mera ghar hai 3 months ho gye mera 5 months ka baby hai aur ek beti hai 2.5 years ki us ko lgga k mukhe bache paalne pdenge aur ab mere husband ko aur meri beti ko bulati hai but mujhe aur mere ko nai bulati but jab mere husband unse baat krte hain to mera ro ro k bp low ho jata hai mujhe bhut gussa aata hai bs apne bacho k liye sasural m bethi hun 😢😢

[@raniabbas786]

bht achhi baat batai my dear sister bht achhha lga dil khus hogaya pata h sister aap comment ka reply krti h mujhhe bht achha lagta aur comment karne ka dil bhi krta h dil khus ho jata h sister aap 5 time namaz padhna sara din kaam krna kaisi kr leti h ispe vedio banaiye plz mujhhe help mil jayegi mai utajhh jati hu kabhi kabhi

[@ummehafsafarooqui288]

Assalamualaikum I have came to your channel watched one or two vlogs I must say I loved it.. it gave me so much happiness I enjoy watching ur videos Love from UAE❤

[@herfablife]

Thank you so much 😊

[@khoobsuratvlogs431]

Jo baatein aapne ki bilkul yehi haal hai un logo ka 😊

[@Kachari79]

Meri zindagi b aesi thi phr me ne yahaan se nikal k khod ko mazboot kiya . Yani maike ja k din raat mehnat kar k khud ko mali tor pe thora mustehkam kia . Ab wohi log bht behter hogae hain. Khod ko mazboot banao bus

[@summilonely4928]

Is waqt my aise hi depression se guzar rahi hun mujhe itna zada pressure dal dete hai har kaam har ek member ka waqt pe phir kahete hai k Tum ne Kya hi Kya hai .aise relationship se kaise nikle ya rahe to kaise deal kare

[@herfablife]

relax don't think negative.

[@foziaasim9681]

Same ap kese handle krhi hen sb

[@marrycooksideastravellingvlog]

Excellent advice thanks for sharing love love and thank you so much ❤GOD BLESS YOU

[@herfablife]

You are so welcome

[@ayatfatima51214]

Ap ja kahn rei han ye b btya kren choren in btin ko

[@romisart]

A. O. A irum you and palwasha cooks are my favorite bloggers. Mera basically crafting channel hey. Main daily routine vlogs zayada نہیں dekhti but you two are my favorite. . Jin ke videos ke leye main wait kerti hon. Thanks once again for this lovely video. Best of luck for future.

[@herfablife]

Thank you so much 😊

[@Worldofsyedabukhari6361]

I visited your channel.. it's good

[@romisart]

@@herfablife you always welcome.

[@romisart]

@@Worldofsyedabukhari6361 thank you so much

[@shumailarahman547]

Min joint family min rehti hun ....just and only one rule khamoshi .....distance rakhuu ...

[@mallikam1667]

Super, super, super, very good, beautiful advice, very usefull, thankyou, keep it up.

[@asifseemab3538]

Zabardast topic mery huband Mil and Fil teeno aik point p ikhaty ho jaty hain or inme se jiski b ghalti ho uska sath dety hain meri physical or mental health bohta effect hoe ha iswaja se kya kron plz guide krien.

[@basitali4121]

Such a very true topic 😢ye hr ghr ke story ha

[@hiramohsin1251]

Nehgbuer b hote h ayse me to fan ho Gai ap ki

[@herfablife]

Thanks!

[@fareeda1497]

Yes 100 percent true. I have same toxic relative even in my family , not in my in-laws. Khoon jalane wale hoty hain ye rishty.

[@Nasir-pt3dd]

AJ Kal itny ziada log hai aise ... ammmii or behno k Siwa ...

[@MaryemShahid]

Yar AP Kon ho.......😢😢😢😢 very very true dear. Please pray for us.

[@harshitaannu3076]

Wo pati hi ho to kya kruu... Me bahut jada pressan hu.. Kya kruu

[@bintehawa8424]

Your videos helps me alot Jazak Allah ❤

[@herfablife]

Thanks for liking

[@sufiazia145]

Jee bilkul bhari mahfil mein.. Shut up call wali situation nhi hai..

[@ayeshahfatimakhan4848]

یہ جان کر بہت خوشی ہوئیی کہ آپ پنڈی میں رہتی ہیں ۔۔۔کیونکہ میں بھی پنڈی میں رہتی ہوں ۔۔۔

[@Anukakitchen-l1l]

Jb husband hi esa ho to kya kry

[@kiranbhatia6716]

Yes this is the common comment for me all the time that I m not a good mother

[@apkimasterni911]

Aapne ittne achchey se expalin kiya ki I felt is should make notes

[@ZohaanAli-p4q]

Kindly also make a video on how you keenly observe people

[@anilazafar3869]

Really love it videos and change my life love ur style ye tu bot hi mazy ki

[@herfablife]

Thank you so much 🙂

[@shllshockers9033]

Plz share the recipe ingredients which u were showing in video❤

[@yasmeenarzoo2121]

Toxic logon ne mughe b bohot sata rakha h leki inshallah me b esa karungi

[@bhumimodi7352]

Very helpful tips diee I also expirenced all these topics you covered in this video 😊😊❤❤👍👍

[@herfablife]

That's great

[@BushraGhazi-gj6lk]

Appi assalamualaikum meri ghar me bhi kuch toxic log hai unke sath ab mujhe Aisa hi karna hai

[@BilalKhan-n7l8s]

Ye bhi krtay aksar toxic people k wo husband k samnay to acha ban k dikha detay hain lkn akely mn bhut tkleef detay hain to is trah ager husband ko btia jai un k baray mn to husband dont uderstand is ka kia krayn plz share

[@Irtazarao098]

Bilkul mein bi aise hi karti thi ke mein toxic logon ke bare mein ziada na think karun so mein air-pod laga ke kuch acha sunti rehti thi is ka bihat acha impact tha meri life pe

[@lifewithmisbah0044]

Joint family ma kasa bachon kii tarbiyt kii jay , jis ma ap k pas ak hii room Hu ,usii ma sab Kuch manage krna Hy , or zyda time K liy ap room lock B nii rhk skty ...😮

[@nirshasaman4216]

Masha allah ur inspiration for me

[@shllshockers9033]

Yess u r v right abt good mother

[@aleezavlogs731]

Is baat pe bilkul agree ho k app bachy nahi sambal sakti m app ki jo sari baatie h bilkul agree ho

[@farhanabegum6877]

Aslkm Mashallah really amazing and reality of my life 😢 but now I'm strong and thank you for this videos 😊 God bless you Jazakallah ❤🎉

[@Tayyaba-qazafi]

Assaalam oalaikum masha Allah nice and beautiful vlog

[@herfablife]

Thank you so much 😊

[@shahidiqbal7058]

Her bat right h AP k

[@Chotidunyavlogs_z2Q]

Very nice vlog..Few days ago I went to the same place and we were sitting on these chairs . But we ordered food there.. is it permissible to bring our own food specially the civils..??