How to SHOW instead of TELL in your novel (with examples)

[@KAEmmons]

Can you think of a good example of showing vs. telling?? Comment and post yours!!

[@AemirDillard]

definitely info dumping vs. flashbacks.

[@chadsimmons4496]

The time between heavy blinks would soon disappear and knock Chad out for the night. Of the hundreds of ‘Show don’t Tell’ videos he already viewed, only one was ever worth a click of his nearly blistered scrolling finger. A roll-over accompanied the next blink. “Why should his one be any different?”Chad reached out to place his phone on top of the mini-fridge beside his bed. “Thank God I didn’t put that phone down last night,” said Chad, waving his manuscript like a white flag surrender. He squinted at the glow of the sunrise through the bedroom window. “No … thank Kate and Abby!” Now he could sleep.

[@גרשוןפרלמן]

My fingers fidgeted, my right hand tightened around my passports and boarding pass. I drew them to my chest. My carry-on, held by my supposedly freer hand. As immune as I thought I was, his words caught me off-guard. I had to reorient. NOW BOARDING, still flashing, I scanned anew for my gate-my portal.

[@worthfightingfor2299]

@@chadsimmons4496 HA, I love that!

[@Tardis216]

Showing vs. telling. My advice: save the important, interesting parts of your story for showing. Intersperse that with descriptions of the less interesting parts, to keep the momentum, to keep the reader interested. If used appropriately, telling can be very useful.

[@aix83]

Introverts aren't the people listening quietly from the corner of the room, they're the people at home, spending the evening with their cat.

[@michemman]

Yes, so true. Good call aix83!

[@jøy_what_riley_loves_the_most]

As an introvert, i can be both

[@eugenetswong]

Yeah, I think that the specific example here is no good, because being slow to talk and quick to listen isn't automatically introverted. If anything, it should be extroverted. Overall, though, I think that the main thrust of the suggestions were good.

[@bookimpressions]

I think the reason show vs. tell is so hard is because as writers we are storyTELLERS. When in fact we should be storySHOWERS. That's what makes this so difficult. Writers have a tendency of just wanting to TELL their stories. Good Video!

[@gacha_story]

I agree you

[@eugenetswong]

Yeah, I agree. Also, at a fundamental level, every phrase is telling something...but the phrases are engaging, and the things, which are being told, are showing something.

[@joelleburnette]

Michelle McNamara was an expert at showing vs. telling in her book, "I'll Be Gone in the Dark." Her descriptions are succinct, hit you in the gut, and transport the reader into the scene. A few examples: ♠His mouth smiled occasionally, but his eyes never did. ♠The case dragged me under quickly. Curiosity turned to clawing hunger. ♠He wasn't a big man, but fury doubled his size.

[@PeNGuiNZoMbiEUYA]

Those are all telling….

[@writerducky2589]

​@@PeNGuiNZoMbiEUYAGoes to show how hard it is😅

[@jøy_what_riley_loves_the_most]

​@@PeNGuiNZoMbiEUYAas if to prove the point it's hard to notice show between telling sentences

[@spacewhales2118]

Creative Paralysis! That’s it! Kate you described it perfectly! Fear of saying it stupid or I get indecisive about how I want it to come out and then my mind kinda short circuits and I can’t get anything to come out. Even if my cup is loaded.

[@ViviH-o8w]

For me it's word paralysis, because I have billions of ideas but can't find the words to use them.

[@elradswordman]

It was really interesting and I can tell that video game designers can make the same mistakes. I know a lot of games where they show us something and they feel like the characters need to tell us again and again. Many Japanese rpg's abuse of useless words. Like : we're in a volcano area, there's lava and smokes and vapors. Ok we know by looking at the screen that our heroes are in for a tough and hot journey through that area. What do the characters say ? : "There is lava everywhere and it's hot"....oh boy.... instead of giving us an element we don't already know to keep momentum, or keep quiet, they just overloading words on an already clear pictured situation. In movies, even small words can be enough to ruin a moment. Remember in Batman VS Superman ? at the end of the movie, in the last portion of it, Superman comes back on the battlefield where Batman and Wonder Woman are already fighting. We have that shot where Superman arrives solemnly and Wonder Woman says : "Kal-El !".....yeah we know it's him.... thanks for ruining the emotion of the shot with just one word.... (well, two). sometimes I feel like silents are more welcome that an overdose of "noise"... I'll have to test that in my writings too :-) Thanks to you too for your videos, you're both wonderful persons !

[@eugenetswong]

Yeah, I agree with your overall thrust, but I disagree with the specific "Kal-El" example. That shows me how she behaves, and not the name of the Superman. It shows me how they talk to each other. If she says, "Wow! It's so beautiful today. It's perfect for a walk in the park.", then are you going to judge the author for telling you the weather and telling what you can do that day? To me, it sounds like the author is showing us how they get along, and that she is willing to spend time with him in the park.

[@Reine996]

Thank you for SHOWING us what you meant with examples instead of just telling us haha. I saw "with examples" and clicked right away. Please do more of these episodes.

[@jacindaellison3363]

Tell: Sarah gave me a look. "You know, Mom isn't always right." I knew that, but ever since I could remember, I've always been afraid to go against Mom. Since she was older and wiser, I'd always assumed she was right about the world. Sarah thought for herself. I didn't think there was anything wrong with asking parents for advice. Show: Sarah gave me a look. "You know, Mom isn't always right." I widened my eyes, looking behind me to make sure Mom didn't hear her. "The thought if even considering Mom could be wrong about this gave me goosebumps. Seeing Mom being able to navigate life, knowing how to handle certain situations in her time and beyond gave me the courage to rely on her wisdom. Sarah, on the other hand, wasn't like me. Or, I was unlike her. She would know what do. I don't recall the last time she confided in Mom about any major problem solving. I could think for myself. I wanted to double check and see if I was going on the right path. There was nothing wrong with asking parents for advice.

[@janellescott210]

You ladies are awesome! As a homeschool mom I’d love to know more about your homeschooling education. I love that you have taken your passion and have turned it into a career(??).

[@johnrossi8862]

whether I posted about it or not, after every episode I am reminded how knowledgeable this podcast is and the information the two of you put out for your audience is immensely appreciated.

[@kaokurosawa3872]

Hands down, this is the best episode you guys have ever recorded.

[@travismiddleton8218]

Great topic. As a writer I often struggle with showing rather than telling in my plots so it was good to get some tips.😊

[@artbyfaith]

I appreciate both of you. Thank goodness for you!❤❤

[@Neil-writer-author]

This explains showing vs telling in an easy way to understand way.

[@joehebert789]

He knocked at the door and it quickly opened. "Hi, Madeline," he said. "Mom said that you had something for me to pick up." "This was all I could find," said Madeline as she began to pass him a bottle in that all too familiar shape. "Do you want to take it?" "No," he heard himself reply. "No, I don't." As he exited the door, he crossed his arms in front of himself as he trudged his way back home. His body shivered in spite of the coat he wore. He would not allow himself to believe that the moisture building on his face was from the falling snow as that was from somebody else's story.

[@ReustersPlace]

I realize writers are quite different from Game Masters of RPGs, but we need to use some of the same techniques. Looking forward to finding more tips like this to expand my descriptive talents

[@nightdruid540]

I love this!! I think there’s a lot of pressure on writers in the writing culture that you can *only* show, and that telling is to be avoided like the plague. But they’re both just tools to convey ideas in a different voice, a different way :). A lot of my favorite books are very heavy on ‘telling’, as far as I define telling anyway. The sense of disembodied narration that’s either omniscient-or subjective, that can be really really interesting. But of course, it’s never all telling or all showing. Most novels are a balance between the two, to varying degrees of resonance with different readers. Introducing it as a creative choice and demonstrating the different effect of each side by side is really helpful ^^. This episode was awesome!

[@sarawawa8984]

I agree that there are times for telling! I really enjoy fairytales and fairytale like stories and often that disembodied voice narration is a sort of it, and some times I love narrator descriptions: “he was a middle aged man, but he had the practiced immaturity of a much younger one. It was not a charming combination.” sometimes I like being told who a character is with a short, quick description. You get a good chunk of personality in 1-2 sentences, perfect for a relatively unimportant side character. I wouldnt like it for a main character though! I want to get to know them more organically

[@bouncerblake]

I'm a very cinematically minded person. So when I write, I tend to think in terms of "what does the camera see?" And as a result, my writing may come off as never telling anything. Should it be more of a balancing act? Should I let the readers in on more of the character's inner thoughts? Assign emotions to their actions when it feels too subtle? Or is it more on point to keep the writer behind the lens when not writing in first person?

[@Amy_Mi6]

Maybe this is off beat but your example of Lisa reminded me of Olivia Rodrigo's "Drivers License" song. I mean, it's a completely different art form but gut wrenching chord progressions aside, her lyrics really paint such a vivid picture... ugh, I feel like the guy dumped me! lol... Excellent examples

[@user-beboldbebrave]

Yes, yes girls this was very good and very helpful when I found myself struggling to decipher which was showing which was towel and then I realize how much I needed this exercise. Thank you.

[@BBPaws]

This is amazingly helpful! I can't think of a stronger word to drop that adverb lol thank you for such wonderful insight & advice.

[@AlliCassandra]

After 11 years of reading blog post after blog post DESPERATELY trying to understand showing vs telling and kinda coming away with "avoid words like 'felt,' 'smelled,' heard,' 'was', etc I FINALLY think I get it. Listening to this episode a 3d time and taking notes!!

[@gacha_story]

I agree 🌹🌹🌹

[@gacha_story]

Tell me about my novel

[@audreymaccready5778]

One of your best yet! Will be using your advice in my wip, where I've been struggling with this.

[@thezodiAI]

Thank you so much ladies. This was brilliant as always.

[@stefaniestolinsky942]

Really really nice and absolutely the BEST examples of showing versus telling I've seen or read. Brava girls!!

[@stefaniestolinsky942]

by the way, I am a patreon customer of yours

[@lacanariafamily452]

Came just in time! Thanks K.A. and Abbie. Will apply soon! (P.S. You just saved me from quitting on a fanfic 💖)

[@lozane9084]

Keep going!! I'm sure you got this

[@milomazli]

Amazing episode! Thank you! ❤️

[@marykedewitt1362]

Fantastic episode 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Loved the examples, makes it easier to grasp!

[@blueravenfire]

another great podcast episode! yeah, i definitely have a habit of writing more telling then showing without realizing it, but this episode helped out a lot.

[@WilliamPriest]

Came across your podcast right as nano started. Marathon mode went through the series and now have moved to your KZbin for a different perspective and to see the visuals

[@worthfightingfor2299]

I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE! Lol but seriously, thank you sooo much for this video!

[@janedoe5229]

That whole silent 10 minutes at the beginning of UP. Not one word and it makes you want to cry.

[@dheshnaa]

Perfect timing! Thanks a ton for this episode ❤

[@Lolz4249]

Another great vid, thanks ladies!!

[@moderndaynostalgics2728]

Wow, this is so on point and clear. I love the thorough explanation of how the characters see their world from their own perspective. I have never thought about that, but that is such a good piece of writing advice. Thank you!

[@timkrueger1179]

Awesom! Like your approach in th epodcast.

[@JorgenMadson]

this was really really really helpful thank you!

[@michaellayne-vw4jp]

Showing that enlists the readers help

[@ChisiAmandaXiong]

So helpful! Thank you ❤

[@SpuunSpong]

Great episode!

[@ivad.1341]

This video was really helpful and new for me, thank you very much :)

[@michaellayne-vw4jp]

This was very helpful

[@alainiskandar3472]

Great writing tip. I love it. Now I can give you a filming tip. Look at us, in the camera! We want to feel that we are with you 😊

[@michaellayne-vw4jp]

Wonderful

[@factsandfantasy3707]

Is there something like OVERSHOWING? Just curious 🙊

[@c.l.bailey3256]

That’s a great question. I’d love to know as well

[@PeNGuiNZoMbiEUYA]

One could assume overshowing would be showing things that weren’t important

[@jacindaellison3363]

Yes, Jenna Moreci has a video that tells you when TELLING is better than showing.

[@Chronicle_MV]

Is your Scrivener themes available for Windows? If not, can you make them available in the future please? Not everyone can afford Mac computers.

[@aprildoucette9552]

It would be so good to have a tool to help us with this (at least at first).

[@cottagestoryteller]

I am d r e a d i n g the editing process and seeing how much I tell instead of show. Adverbs are my crutch i_i I wonder if there are any resources about how to cut those out of writing?

[@nagimurakami]

As soon as I knocked on the door, there was a sound of erratic rustling. Knocking again, I felt my chest tighten with anxiety. What was taking her so long? "In a minute!" I heard in earshot from behind the door, her voice was trembling. I rattled the door with a few shakes. "Jess open the door." I said, holding my breath I could feel only but my thumping heart. With a click, the door crept open revealing a blushed-faced Jess. She looked behind me, from the right side then to the left. Finally her eyes settled on me. "What do you want?" She said, there was a scowl in her eyes.

[@eugenetswong]

I think that it depends. On 1 end of the scale, there is complete telling, where there is nothing special, and it's boring. On the other end, there is complete showing, which is information overload, and contains irrelevant details, like describing the the screws hidden in the doorknob of the palace ballroom door. Somewhere in the middle, we have a wide range of options, where we need to find the best way of describing things. Anyhow, here is an example that I will try to make up now. TELL Saturday had arrived. When the alarm clock rang, Bob practically leapt out of bed. He dressed in a fast manner, and dashed out of the house, without responding to his mom mentioning breakfast. SHOW Saturday had arrived. At the sound of the alarm, Bob flung the covers to the side without hesitation. Without pause, dressed and ran down the stairs. "It'll be oatmeal today," his mom said. "No thanks." He shut the front door, mounted his bike, and left.

[@eugenetswong]

I watched this twice or more. I think that I agree with the end about practising showing and telling. I would go so far as to start off telling, and the trying to show ...and then trying to show even more what you showed. Also, it might help to go into the other extreme, where you take what you told, and use more telling to make it more engaging.

[@PinupSticknerd]

Impressionistic 😊

[@Ruthie888]

nice job!

[@peterSobieraj]

I always thought that "show not tell" rule is exclusive to game dev.

[@Ghostrob2023]

I have a question to ask you Kate or even Abbie to answer this in a simple way. Based on Show not Tell in writing a story no matter what it's about, I thought less is more with anything even writing a story to a point where it doesn't sound dragged out like a movie and become boring where you lose interest in it? Because I've seen some movies that had a great or even a good story to it, but it became dragged out where I turned it off for something action-packed. Just wondering!

[@quasi8180]

Im getting better but i still have problems with telling

[@esthykechan]

so wait, you’re telling me other people don’t constantly over analyze everything others do and say? and I guess the most important is to know which to use for a given scene because not every micro interaction needs show

[@SummerDream3r]

I never liked the term "Show, don't tell." It seems to imply that writers never tell, but they tell and tell a lot. A lot of big authors tell and tell a lot. They just know when to do it and how to do it well. Not everything has to be shown, scenes with mundane events, low stakes, low emotion, can do with a bit of telling to move the story along. Always showing can make a novel just as boring and long, and the pacing would be tedious. Why do I have to read a long passage of a guy washing dishes? How warm the water felt against his skin. And the fragrant scent of cinnamon in the kitchen. Why? Unless it's important and relevant to the story, why does a reader have to be shown scenes that aren't that exciting or important to the story? Showing what is happening can just be as impersonal as plain telling if a particular scene has no big relevance to a story, whereas well-written telling can be just as engaging as well-written showing if its relevant to the story. Good authors just know when to show and when to tell. It's not a matter of never telling and always showing.

[@michemman]

Good call Lucky_Owl. Agreed.

[@kevinrussell1144]

Nice video; I'm sure all the young (and old) aspiring writers will have gained from your insight. Question: you introduce yourselves as sisters, but one has blue eyes and the other brown. Which parent has brown eyes? I ask, because I am one of four boys; two blue eyed, two with brown. And we're all different. In personality, I am like my mother, but more resemble my father. Isn't the world wonderful? I'm telling rather than showing, since I don't have my camera on and don't care to have a conversation with my other personalities.

[@michemman]

I was wondering the same thing, about Kate and Abbie's eyes. So, genetically here is what I know about what you have said above. One parent of yours is Bb, which is Brown/hazel dominant eye colour(B), with a recessive gene of blue (b) in their family line, Crossed with one parent of yours is most likely to be (bb) which is blue eyes recessive and blue eyes showing, which would mean their family line is also only blue, your grandmother and grandfather, at least on one side. So, If you put these letters in a table with each letter crossing an x and y graph, (Bb) (Bb) you have a 2 in 4 chance of having Brown eyes, with the blue gene recessive hidden till you have children of your own, and 2 chances in 4 of recessive blue eyes showing, and only being able to have blue eyed children of your own. (bb) (bb) The only other option, is both of your parents have brown eyes showing, (Bb x Bb) carrying the recessive blue gene (Bb) in their family lines, which would only give a 1 in 4 chance of blue eyed children, and a 3 out of 4 chance of having brown eyes, carrying the hidden blue gene. This could still be the case, but it is far more likely to be the first example! (Bb Bb Bb bb) Apparently, some mammals are born with blue eyes and they change as an adult. Green eyes are even rarer in recessive genes. Hazel and brown eyes are common and dominant. The same goes with hair, with Brown and Black are dominant, while blonde and red hair is recessive. This was figured out with an experiment of tall pea plants crossed with short ones, all plants will be tall as it is a dominant gene. (This is telling, it is a teacher thing!) Hey, Kate and Abbie, back to your video that I just watched. Thanks for the discussion on telling and showing from a year ago. So then, to clarify, does a narrator TELL the story if it is in third person? Eliza Most Beautiful Day, is Today! 17th of November 2023, 11:36pm, bed office (Nanowrimo words 24,000) ;) Dulwich Hill, Sydney Australia xx

[@kevinrussell1144]

Very astute......Father, almost certainly Bb, since he inherited his brown eyes from his mother (he had an African-derived dominant color) while his father ha beautiful blue eyes (so said my mother). My mother was bb.....both her parents were blue eyed. My paternal grand mum (she of the brown eyes), was one of four SISTERS, two blue eyed, an two with brown. We can reason that HER father (perhaps we can confirm this from census records) was a blue-eyed Turner, and her mother from New Orleans, was ALSO likely to have been Bb. It's interesting that recessive genes can hide for generations, but dominant genes, once lost, are gone.@@michemman

[@doreekaplan2589]

Sorry but anyone who says "like" endlessly as this person I cannot abide listening to .

[@annaivanova4360]

Example with James and his insecurity complex seems like two examples of telling, to be honest.

[@warmflash]

Describe don’t Explain.

[@rascalap2968]

What? Abbie has no drink… 🤔

[@marleenstukkien5384]

Ehhhhhhh, you know? Your whole explanation of characters appearing waaaay to neutral and objective if you tell instead of show and how in the real world nobody thinks like that, made me think as I was writing along with what the two of you were discussing... One of the main characters of the story I'm currently writing, has CPTSD and one of the many things she's programmed to be is to be far more objective than that sheer amount of people can really be right at the same time if they disagree to such an extend. Some people are really like that, losing themselves and what they themselves think completely because of trying to understand so many points of view at the same time? I know this kind of "forced objectivity" is something entirely different from what you were talking about, but it's interesting nonetheless, right? What exactly you need to show to be able to slowly come to the surface that this is happening?

[@jeanmonicacoogan8892]

Too much chatting 😂

[@anthonycosentino463]

Oh my god, can KZbinrs stop saying WITHOUT FURTHER ADO!!

[@jwstanley2645]

You lost me at 'But first."

[@NameNotAChannel]

I... disagree sooooo much. This is must be much more a matter of taste than a set in stone rule. "Show vs tell" needs to die. I've heard so many of these examples, and I (almost) ALWAYS prefer the tell, rather than the show, because I don't "get" the same exact level of detail that the tell tell versions reveal to me. I can, and do, go through all the permutations of why a person MIGHT be doing the things they're doing, and never know the one that the author intends me to land on, when they only show things like dancing around and singing and junk, that could have so many reasons behind them. (This holds true in my real life interactions with people as well... which makes me very awkward in social interactions. I much prefer people to not imply things to me, and just be straight forward.) Maybe it's more of a genre thing too... because I like science fiction / science fantasy, where I love infodumps and strong worldbuilding... again, things that most writing advice people frown upon heavily, and I disagree with vehemently. (I also LOVE adverbs, sorry.) I also don't like first-person perspective; I prefer third person and omniscient. These things give me a broad overview of a situation with all the interesting detail, including the inner thoughts of multiple people in a scene, as well as the past and future of events and how they relate to what's going on, depending on the scene. (Edit: Infer - imply)

[@nightdruid540]

I think at each point in time, the culture will have a set of ideas that say what to do vs. what not to do. But it’ll continue to change/evolve! Culture is just culture, which is a collection of perceptions that multiple people agree upon, as they have every right to :). I also don’t relate to certain rules writers lean on (I actually like adverbs, for instance XD, when it isn’t redundant, and telling also). When there is a culture that involves personal preference, there will always be ideas that get filtered down as the “right vs. wrong” and “good vs. bad”. But it’s nothing to worry about, no such thing as intrinsically special writing, the connections we have with it are what make writing special. You just do your thing and write/read what makes you happy. I wish you well on your writing journey -^^-

[@ankojan]

I agree with you. In my openion. You don't have to 'Show' everything. Especially when you want reader to get the same clear message. Showing is not effective for that. Also, sometime it's annoying, and slow your story down. It's so subjective. Also, Abbie is pure Character based author, reminds that when listening to her advice. Maybe Showing suits romance novel and emotional scene, but not fantasy or sci-fi. Those type of story already have so much info already, reader won't please if they have to interprete every single thing the character think or do, Just 'Tell' the reader directly. For me, sometime I use showing, sometime I use telling. Not Showing or Telling everyting. Just write as you want your story flow, that's all. I've read some author work that always use telling, and that's not bad at all. P.S. Apologize for my English, I'm not native speaker