How to Stop Making Stupid Decisions

A look into making better decisions in life.
How to make decisions was taught in high school. You may not have realized it but your Economics 101 class taught you, “there is no such thing as a free lunch.”
Think about it, if you’re eating an awesome cheesesteak, you’re giving up the chance to eat a hamburger. If you’re eating a hamburger you’re giving up the chance to eat a double-stacked burrito. And if you’re eating a double-stacked burrito, then you’re giving up the ability to ever respect yourself again.
Everything you do in life is a trade-off. Anything you say, do, or pursue has a cost and a benefit. Those costs and benefits may not always be immediately apparent - sometimes the costs and benefits are dislocated in time, the benefit being immediate and the cost in the distant future. Sometimes the costs or benefits are subtle and psychological. But nonetheless, there is always a trade-off.
In this video we’re looking at how decisions in life come down to trade-offs. And how it just so happens we’re really bad at evaluating trade-offs. Watch it. Like it. Comment on it. And make the easy decision to subscribe to the channel!
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I am Mark Manson, 3x #1 NY Times bestselling author of:
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Thanks for watching.

[@mywealthshop]

The best moments I've looked back on in my life are the times I've forced myself to do something when every cell in my body was screaming not to do it. That time my friend dragged me to that party, BOOM!! I met the love of my life at that party. That time I forced myself to take that walk, BOOYAH!! I found that long lost friend and he introduced me to a viable money making opp. That time I forced myself to go on that vacation in the midst of a personal financial crisis, I come back with a solution to the problem. It's wild. It's consistent. It's weird. Does it only happen to me??

[@jdxiong]

I wish that was me. Lol. Everytime I've done something against my own gut feeling, I often end up regretting it (marriage, family drama, etc).

[@iliveinsideyourhouse3943]

@@jdxiong Me too lol. I guess all we can do is just keep on living and learning from our mistake. I hope things will get better for you.

[@JohnDoeL337]

maybe your reticular activating system picks up only on events such as these, but meanwhile you had 50/50 events with bad , as well as good outcome and you only remember the good outcomes (which is...... good); or maybe everything is written - Maktub and what happened happened that way and it couldn't have happened in another way. Providence etc. laid out plan

[@robertoeliserio4967]

@@jdxiong 🎟

[@jdxiong]

@@robertoeliserio4967 you got tickets for me?!?!

[@anirudhkumar4507]

List of books: Predictably Irrational, Influence, Stumbling on Happiness, Thinking Fast & Slow.

[@sushilkhanagwal]

Thank you

[@aadi7437]

Thanks man ,needed this

[@andershattne]

I'd throw in a good book on boxing for when you need to fight over a toaster.

[@samariainestroza862]

“Look for the decisions that inspire the doubt and the insecurity, cuz that’s where the real shit is” loved it, great video Mark!

[@sayektibruno8008]

2023 june

[@HyeDonghaelove]

Damn, this hit really hard

[@kingdom1872]

“It is human nature to think wisely and act foolishly.” (Anatole France)

[@shorecasted9295]

Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life

[@MiroslavWD]

Thank you, Mark! I have been struggling with depression here in China. Not very bad but I feel down a lot of time. Listening to and learning from your videos makes a big difference on my life! I stop feeling lonely when watching your videos, I feel a lot better. I will be a better man!

[@banszkiviktoria]

Hang in there! 💗

[@MiroslavWD]

@@banszkiviktoria Thank you! 🤜🏻🤛🏻I've been trying and it is getting better now.🤘🏻

[@laurenlockridge5583]

@@MiroslavWD I’m happy to hear, gives me hope

[@a_nikak]

yo bro, heard youre in China and immediately wanted to reach out to you. Whats up, are you good? Im a Russian student in China and I kinda feel you!

[@ragebait988]

physical activity is the only thing that will help you. join a gym or play sport.

[@parthnair714]

I didn't know I needed this.

[@djdigital3806]

We all need this🤔

[@janycebrown4071]

Keep watching ❣️ Mark is a smart dude 👌

[@Fernando-wo8ox]

Step one: quit drinking. Then any decision will be better than those you would make. Wish me luck.

[@amateurtries7542]

All the best! Don't overdo it

[@johnlester4987]

Fernando. Ditto. Good luck.

[@Minkjaah]

how are you doing 1 week later?

[@Fernando-wo8ox]

@@Minkjaah doing great. I'm focusing on a total new mindset, where alcohol doesn't have any use or meaning. I think we have to change who we are, recreate a better version of ourselves. Most of the times alcohol is one of many bad/wrong behaviours.

[@deanj6722]

Best of luck with your future endeavor and Happy new year!

[@cuteasduck6192]

I had a big career decision to make that I was putting off for quite some time and then I stumbled upon this video. The last advice of optimising for minimal regret immediately gave me my answer. It was such a simple decision and I can't believe I never thought like this before. Golden advice.

[@jakubzbroda]

How did it work for you after 2 years?

[@user-bu7oz1lx4e]

Yes ?!

[@amj8890]

The harsh truth of the day is my favorite part, and hey I'm glad that you made the decision of making this KZbin channel 👏🏻👏🏻

[@urstepdaddy007]

WTF MARK, I M HAPPY THAT U STARTED THIS KZbin THING!

[@goodperson5707]

Thank you Mark❤️. People are born into this life and hardly anyone teaches them who they are, how to live with themselves, how to operate themselves to make it through this life. A lot of people break, loose themselves in drugs and alcohol, get mentally sick simply because they cannot cope with what is coming. You are one of very few people who shares the key on how to live in this life and to make the most of it. Absolutely fantastic analytical work on your part extracting the most important conclusions from all books you read and deliver it in the simple forms people can understand. You may not realise how important is the knowledge you share with us. What you do is very valuable. THANK YOU very much and God bless you and your family!

[@SophiaAphrodite]

The line cutting thing is really about the fact that people are afraid of confrontation. Most were never going to say anything so the reason was irrelevant. They just did not want to confront someone and them giving a reason was just an excuse to avoid the confrontation.

[@PracticalInspiration]

This was great. As for creating a KZbin channel, I'm glad you did, it's been incredibly valuable!

[@alaricgoldkuhl155]

If I'm honest I think most of my best decisions in life were made for me, and the worst decisions I made were the ones I made with absolute certainty. This is by far the best advice on decision making I have ever heard and I'm 50 dude. You rock!

[@dan6918]

Interesting! I find myself getting lost when I can’t make a decision. This usually happens when it’s about something that doesn’t have a right answer. It’s so frustrating. I think I fear the consequences too much...

[@wesleyvanpeer1988]

I can totally imagine this is frustrating. Sometimes taking a risk, experimenting and examining are a part of paving your path through the journey of life.. Are you able to address the source of your fear of the consequences? What makes you so afraid of them?

[@m.l.7558]

So true

[@m.l.7558]

​@@wesleyvanpeer1988 what I have seen in my experience is a fear of the unknown, or a fear to disappoint or just some really anxious people which can paralyze easily

[@sagarkafle9259]

1. Understanding biases (Books) 2. Using the right tool (Diaries) 3. To regret or not to regret (Sth abot great decision)

[@schizoburger1161]

My friend told me that whether a decision is good or bad is decided in the very moment when this decision is made. We can’t be sure what will happen in the future and so the only thing we can do is to base the decision on the information we have right now.

[@anastasiazh565]

Constantly struggling with every decision to make, takes me weeks or months to make up my mind - tend to listen to my intuition and then make a move

[@nimiqaisar1735]

Solved my greatest mystery why everytime I wrote my diaries I always sorted my shit out and at the end of my diary i always used to get the correct solutions.....AS YOU SAID WRITING STUFF DOWN helps👍👌👌

[@saipavand4064]

Same but I write journal(just thoughts and feelings)

[@tanmayupadhyay514]

While taking decisions be practical as possible and remove your emotions while doing it.

[@raphael7623]

I just bought your book “The Subtle art of not giving a F*ck”

[@memeful4]

Define "good" and "bad" decisions (to the individual, not to others). They are all mere part of one's life, to a step closer(yes, only one step at a time) to know thyself, before time's running out, and that's life.

[@rudig5698]

Finally a new video!😍Thank you Mark for changing my life with your books, you even inspired me for starting my KZbin channel!😊

[@yuridiana9047]

Awesome man , good luck!! This is so inspirational because the harsh truth is what I've needed too to wake up and move

[@hongvicodes]

A timely video to soothe my pain. I'm 21 and I still don't know whether studying SCM is worth it, or programming web apps is actually worthwhile.

[@jeradkiester698]

What did you end up doing, and was it worthwhile?

[@ninika7268]

update ?

[@mariasimioli2545]

Loved this video! I don't know what to do with my life and I always struggle with decision making. I have spent the last four months thinking about whether or not to continue the course in digital marketing: 4 months of overthinking, overanalysis and procrastination. I'm still confused, but the question "will I regret doing it or will I regret not doing it?" blowed my mind...

[@ninika7268]

so what did you decide ?/

[@mikelobrien]

More valuable insights for me making my big decisions. I don't feel so bad dragging my feet, now that you shared that it took you two years to start your KZbin channel. Thanks for adding perspective to the oftentimes tough decision making process!

[@PedroBarba1970]

“There are no solutions, there are only trade-offs; and you try to get the best trade-off you can get, that's all you can hope for.” We cannot achieve a perfect outcome. -Thomas Sowell

[@beldonhuang]

Experiences are here to remind us what happened, what we sensed, felt and thought, and the lessons we have learned from it. They could be one of our best sources of education and self-growth. They are who we are, what we do and who we become.

[@jeanmendez718]

That talking to you self reminded me to hit “like”. That was so refreshing to see, cuz I talk to myself in my head NONSTOP, but it is over anxious or nervous thoughts. Somtimes nice thoughts too

[@paulallen5704]

Hey Mark, I stared journalling back on November 1st from your advise. it was an eye opener. At first it sucked because it hurt, but then it really stared to pay off. I thought most days were 5s but then when it I wrote it down most days turned out to be 7-8s. Wow!

[@RVDS1996]

You're so right. I try to question myself more and more, would I regret NOT taking this decision or path in my life in 5/10/20 years. Most of the time it is yes. Thanks so much for your real and awesome advice man

[@MiroslavWD]

Mark you are a gaslighting-buster! Whenever I watch your videos I would make clear about at least one confusion that others gave me (through gaslighting me! Freak it!). I mean I just suddenly understand and see what's going on! And I quit agonizing about bad feelings I did not even know clearly about. And carry on with the right things. Thank you so much!

[@adlantian6334]

Not starting land wars in Russia anymore has really helped me manage my mental health better. Thanks, Mark!

[@MrPyro6000]

Whether to let go of control or take it up more Do you lean back and accept that life flows in ways hard to grasp or fokus your mind and try to make rational decisions? Do you quantify what is good/bad and plan for it (e.g. I will do more sports so my neck hurts less and will spend more time with family so the heart hurts less. Then I will feel better and thats good.)? Or do you strive for more broad things like being a good person and trust your gut feeling? It is obviously both but I find them in tension with each other

[@dethklok107]

Can't wait to see this channel get noticed on KZbin, I like these videos a lot

[@zd9224]

i toss a coin if i want to decide on something. And when the coin is up in the air i will realise which way i really hope its going down.

[@erkansefa]

The thing I've learned about making decisions, now that I'm 24 years old, is that you should take risks and listen to your gut feeling along with some common sense of course, because every choice has a consequence. But, some decisions are worth the consequences and some risks are worth taking, but only if you can afford to lose or if you can afford to do it again. Ultimately though, your decisions should be based on having no regrets, just like Mark said in the video.

[@danielgoldberg5357]

As a Stoic, I make decisions based on whether they are virtuous or vice. Regret, non regret, happiness, meh, those are indifferent… I just want peace of mind.

[@vidhidutt]

So glad you made a youtube channel.... i dont really like reading so listening to you is much more effective thanks mark😁

[@AlokSingh-hz9sp]

Mark won't be very happy at your non reading habit,though I am cool with it

[@Samwidges21]

I have been really struggling with a big life decision and then this video popped up in my feed...I just watched it because I like your stuff, I didn't even consider that it might help with this decision I have been struggling with. Anyway, it has really helped met understand how to approach it and what to consider. Thank you so much!

[@Azncrzykid00s]

Hey Mark, I've been following you since Models. I just gotta say that I'm loving the videos! Editing is on point too. It's nice to hear your voice and put a voice to the articles I've been reading for all these years.

[@acajudi100]

Think and Respect. Thank you so much for your EXCELLENT videos. Stay blessed and safe everywhere. Everyone reaps what they have sown,

[@that_tat_girl1755]

Mark, I'm glad you are done waiting to share your videos, your translation of information is exactly the language some of us speak!!! Love the the way the videos are developing, you are a NOT an awful teacher! ;)

[@hector7684]

Just recently I had a big decision that pushed my boundaries so hard that I couldn't sleep for weeks. I made the decision, I still don't know the consequences of it and I still feel the insecurities of it. Let's see how it goes.

[@Aakxsh_18]

1:48 i was laughing really hard like bro😂

[@txurun8723]

Could not agree more with the fact that it's better to regret something you have done than something you haven't. I kinda learnt that the hard way, avoiding further commitment in my last relationship just out of fear, which ended up ruining a worthy relationship. I can't do much about the past at this stage, but my pain has taught me a valuable lesson: try not to bring any regrets with you to the tomb.

[@m.l.7558]

Similar experience, trying to leave the nasty habits I picked up behind , you can do this bro

[@josephkatecruz6157]

Gotta love these metal music transitions.

[@buzznessinfo-entreprendrea7863]

Life saving youtube channel

[@uri8107]

Your videos are really great and informative and also brought in a way that is easy to digest and understand. I struggle with so much of the topics that you talk about in your videos and I hope I can do more with myself and be wat more active in my life. keep up with the videos they truly are great!

[@umrkhayam]

I've been struggling with making the decision on whether to keep makin' KZbin videos or not and that whole thing about will I regret it, certainly helped. Thanks Mark!

[@kellydunlop3142]

I appreciate your commentary and book suggestions. Thank you.

[@MrsCarriebearRN]

Thank you Mark!! I needed this video. It's giving me the confidence I need right now to move forward with some big changes in life.

[@ReapeRHD100]

Watching the minimal regret part made me want to go back in time and do a lot of things differently, wish I’d watched this 3 years ago

[@joyn4436]

It’s never too late❤️

[@m.l.7558]

​@@joyn4436 for some things like break upor job offer, yeah, it's late

[@_N0_0ne]

Thank you kindly ✍️

[@phyllidaacworth5212]

I have been struggling with deciding whether to go for a promotion during a reorganisation at work while there are opportunities or wait until I feel more ready for promotion in a year or two. I have been writing about it and that has helped but the strategy of asking if I would regret not going for a promotion for another year and trying to get more experience that would help me get promoted really helps. The answer is probably not. In 20 years I am not going to care what year I got promoted. I am more likely to care how easy or difficult the transition was after getting promoted. I had a difficult year after an earlier promotion and I don't want to go through that again.

[@matbarPL]

Indeed, we should be making choices that causes the least regrets. Thank you, Mark!

[@JeffNixonComedy]

1,000,000 subs before end of 2021. Calling it now. Great content here.

[@nabilabs8684]

I'm so glad I started listening to you. Thank you, Mark!

[@necplusprocess9308]

Personally, I'm torn between pursuing a career as a singer or an illustrator. However, I'm uncertain whether I must choose between the two. I aspire to excel in both and fear regret if I abandon one of my passions. Your videos are fantastic. Great content.

[@adamoconnor5966]

Try both. See how the path feels and test the waters for both options. Follow your intuition as you continue to excel in both per suites. Enjoy the process! Who knows, maybe you could be really successful doing both. Your the country singing while doing illustration on your off time. Seems pretty cool.

[@icysurfer1]

Last point was the best. Wow. Thx

[@Lichfeldian--Suttonian]

It is like putting a wet finger in the wind! Thanks, Mark.

[@SamWhitlock]

Another great book along these lines is `How We Change (And Ten Reasons Why We Don't)`. It explains in lucid detail how these push/pull of emotions keeps one stuck in the same ol' rut in life, and how to get around this (with great effort, and slow speed, but what is the other option?).

[@etcetera3282]

Truly, the sane people are those who dare to look insane...who dare to be vulnerable...yes, like talking to oneself.

[@aarti2108]

Mark next time you work with people on relationships like one available on audible, please choose me!! I am from India and I loved how you helped them see and navigate their process in love is not enough (:

[@1thousandwattz]

I REALLY Needed to hear this, and hear it right now. Thank you so much Mark!

[@lisatanner9978]

Im struggling to decide whether to leave my partner of 8 years. I have been wanting to leave for probably more than 4 years. I have clung on to the hope he will change even after I have told him I am unhappy. I have only just realised I am stupid to think if he changes things will be great. I have also just accepted that I am afraid to be alone and that is why I stay. Thank god I found your books this year as they have helped me accept I have to feel the pain of moving and living alone as I know I will only regret not doing it sooner.

[@arianacyrus4640]

So happy I discovered you

[@foreverdrift]

I struggled with whether I should post a comment, but I overcame it, and look at me now! :D

[@renatocayan]

Why i will remove the emotions of my decisions if the reason of my choices is to feeling good on the situations The good way is to amplify the context for to see the impactfull results, that can be generate awesome emotions and make decisions on that vision. To use the racional choice for great feelings on long time (or efective time). And use the feelings like fuel for actions.

[@mysticmist9104]

the harsh truth here is kinda paradox i love your content! you are one of the living definition of what/who "influencers" are.

[@kazequer]

Hey Mark, i've been following you for some time and i'm really happy to see you making these videos now... Keep going :)

[@sinnful6020]

Great content all around, was hooked on the first article i read, keep up the great work.

[@ParsaBeheshti-j6u]

Thank you Mark

[@letsplayspidy966]

I'm nearing the age where I have to get a job or go to college, and although it feels like the decision I want to make is to get a less demanding job or go to a writing course, while working hard and smart on my swedish fiction writing in my spare time and sending texts to publishers, I'm absolutely terrified of taking the final step. I have been writing for about three years, and gotten published in an anthology, but still. I guess I'm afraid of feeling selfish. In other words, if I just write for years and years, but never get published, have I been rude to other people for not picking a job where it's easier to contribute to others? Yet writing gives me fullfillment like nothing else, and I really want to spread that magic to others.

[@m.l.7558]

It's not rude to do what you want! You have to take into account if Yu can afford it and if you are truly into it and you can still fail, but remember what was said in the video.' would you regret it in a few years if you hadn't done it ?

[@aakritibhaseen7583]

Evey time i saw ur vedios i feel like i am less terrible person then i think i am. so thank u 😭❤.keep making such vedios💯

[@eversunnyguy]

Struggling with next city to me move. There are so many options and indecisive to find the best place to move.

[@elusive.firstname.lastname]

You should do a video on how happiness is a lie and how it never is as good the second time around and it’s relation to fulfillment and how fulfillment is longer lasting and what biological chemicals are being felt through each

[@willemgrobler-x9c]

Building trad bows blows my hair back ❤

[@elhamamiri9391]

You are a wonderful teacher. Thank you so much for sharing these lessons

[@DarkSaruman]

I needed this video 3 months ago when I was torturing myself over a decision of living alone for $550/month or living with a 60 year old lady for $320/month as a flatmate. In the end, I chose the old lady because I was overwhelmed with the emotions of responsibility of living on my own in a foreign country without knowing the language and all the bureaucy and logistics. In the end, it feels like a mistake because I lost an opportunity for a perfect apartment in a country which it is known for its housing crisis. I did a similar writing exercise, Tim Ferriss's Fear setting exercise, but my mind is overwhelmed with anxious thoughts that written exercises weren't really helpful. I would literally spend the whole morning writing down the pros and cons and asking myself all sorts of questions, but I would just not move an inch in regard of actually knowing which decision to make.

[@thecommonsensecapricorn]

Mark, you make me genuinely laugh more than anyone I've ever met. Through your books and your KZbin videos. I love how your jokes/comments always take me by surprise, always way outta left field, that's the best lol

[@UnknowingTio]

I'm still struggling with starting a KZbin channel too, I'm so scared. People around me don't appreciate the things I'd like to do and ideas I wished to spread, so everytime I try to talk about it, nobody takes it seriously, witch is really , Er...helping with my social phobia battle lately. Until I have the balls to do it, I have to keep being a delivery guy. I hate my life

[@pulltheskymusicgroup4475]

This man he's the best big next thing in youtube

[@96moliveira]

Great work mark, thx

[@jimmyzz1375]

I really love you maaaaark! Alot of love from egypt💓😘👍

[@sandradias7170]

you're amazing, Mark! thank you for the "will I regret it or not in the next 20 years"!

[@SoapyWater81]

What if the choice that inspires the most doubt and is Harder to do is also the same choice that you'll most likely regret

[@dr.zn.mamoori2742]

Hi Mark , I want to thanke you very much for everything you made start with videos and end with your book's The story begun when my nephew's send me one of your video's and ask me to watch it and read you first book as I went through a bad divorce and struggled alot until I read this magic book and watched all your KZbin video's and that was the place which I found all the answers for everything I suffered and everything I need to know to continue my life with my little daughter So thanks Mark by the way I'm from Iraq

[@kennetharntson5912]

I learned long ago to let others make mistakes for me. In other words I have seen others do something that appeared okay since many others had done the something. But the action caused a lot of problems later. For example almost all my friends have credit cards and now all are deep in debt. I only got a Debit Card, since I some times travel and need to make reservations for hotels or car rentals. I also buy things on line that I have to use my Debit Card. I built my own home, took 10 years to finish, but paid for when I moved in. Always bought a used car but nearly new. Waited to get married at 50, and probably had far more sex than those that married in their 20s. Now 76 having traveled the world very well off and retired in Thailand. I have to thank a lot of the people I met along the way for the mistakes they made for me that I didn't have to make.

[@ninglight4433]

Personal decisions are hard, but your choice, your risk. I found it always harder to make decisions affecting directly the life of others. Example: Should I work in another country for several years, even if my husbands and kids are not joining? The methods work also in these cases, at the same time there is no real answer to "would I regret it?". It depends on the outcome of the decision. And you don't know in advance what the others can bear, usually you have no clue about your own capacity in case of a new challenge, until you do it. In case of a lot of doubt, I tend do it. As Marc Aurel said "One never regrets what one has done, but always what one has not done." Or more scientifically: I trust the choice-supporting-bias.

[@adityapurohit6000]

"Don't start a land war in Russia" 😂

[@apollyon9946]

That's where I always mess up 😭

[@DanRichardsRI]

Napoleon and Adolf tried, it didn't work out so well.

[@adityakaundilya9975]

Mongols enter the chat!

[@sunnyfrank5391]

I appreciate you Mark Manson! Keep up the great work amigo!

[@BodyByBenSLC]

Always sweets in office at work. What helps me stay away is thinking about the sugar crash that comes at 3 pm. So when I reach for donut I think "I will feel like hell this afternoon." Maybe someone can use that bit info.

[@deanj6722]

I had no idea you had an yt channel Mark..your book changed my life!! subbed!

[@sayandipbisoi]

THANK You mark

[@dr.zn.mamoori2742]

and I really watched all your video's and read your book not only to improve my psychological status but also to improve my language So thanks alot 🙏

[@Avaaaw]

How do you make a decision that involves years of commitment. Even if I decide to do it because I think it's the coolest option and that I'd regret it not doing it, I know for a fact that I will change, that what I value will change, my interests etc. How to make such a decision. It sounds so coercive to decide to commit to something in the long run.

[@sk3ffingtonai]

I was trying to figure out why Mark 'decided' not to list the (4) books in the low-bar section that he referenced in his video. Then I thought, good decision Mark, this way I have to watch the video twice to take notes. 😂

[@denniswenrich6221]

I always wanted to do web Development and design. Finally I just broke down and started pursuing it. Now, I’m looking at freelancing and starting my own business scares the living shit out of me

[@user-vq4mt4zd4e]

GREAT CONTENT THANKS

[@igorzinin4427]

Thank you, Mark! I like your vocabulary. Be bold to get fun in life