How To Tell If Someone Is Attracted To You

You've probably seen a few signs that they are attracted to you...but how can you know for sure? In this video, I talk about 3 science based tips that help you determine whether those signs are signs of attraction!
I think that if you're able to read these nonverbal cues, you can avoid any awkwardness that comes with trying to find out if someone is interested and help define the relationship once and for all.
In this video:
0:00 - Intro
0:35 - Proximity
1:22 - Touch
2:25 - Eye Contact
2:56 - Outro
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People School is a 12 step video based training program designed to increase your interpersonal intelligence. People School focuses on the four core competencies of Business PQ:
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Join the waitlist for People School here 👉 bit.ly/2yUf0WR
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Do you know what cues you are sending to others? Learn how to control and leverage the tiny signals you’re sending - from your stance and facial expressions to your word choice and vocal tone - to improve your personal and professional relationships.
This is our latest bestselling book:
Cues Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication
www.scienceofpeople.com/cues/
Read it on Amazon, Audible or wherever books are sold!
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Vanessa Van Edwards is Lead Investigator at Science of People - where she unlocks the formulas and patterns behind human behavior for hundreds of thousands of students in over 200 countries. She is the national bestselling author of Captivate: The Science of Succeeding With People, available in 14 languages around the world. Her work has been featured on CNN, NPR, BBC, Fast Company and dozens more.
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[@ScienceOfPeople]

Want more details and other free goodies?  👉www.scienceofpeople.com/know-someone-attracted/

[@henrysantos7160]

I always like to watch your channel you are so especial So much beauty in one single woman God always bless you and love u.🙏. Have a wonderful gorgeous night In the name of Jesus Christ

[@anewloveofficial9137]

It's pretty obvious if someone likes you because you can see it through his body language but I just can't understand myself, if I like someone I always distant myself because I am afraid to build an emotional affection towards him. Am I just the only one like this?

[@TheAmbrosia1996]

Me too. When I have a crush, I'll stay away from him to prevent him from noticing that I like him.

[@rhey25]

Same here 😔

[@stephanieo3xox944]

Same here..

[@BS-yl4wd]

Saaaame. Am pushing him away.

[@lemonade-os1rj]

Yeah, me too why i distant myself to my crush when all i want is for him to notice me.. 😅

[@dseer13]

shyness changes the criteria im sure and psychopathy

[@jalaamgeedi9830]

Absolutely true 🙏👍👌

[@damedane913]

This is so easy, when I think Someone is attracted to me, I'm high.

[@jaxd7206]

You saved my life smoke oxytocin everyday.😀

[@SarahVision]

😂

[@themanhimself436]

im high emotionally

[@chinchinchokhlei]

One true knuckle what is high?

[@acceptyourselfbehappy1443]

Chinchin Chokhlei High...lol on weed or drugs whatever that person does😂

[@rasheed2chemist]

This is very complicated topic. Usually, we tend to hide and ignore when we feel seriously attracted. Only brave individual could decide to show their interest. We are all attracted by others and feel attracted by others every day. Usually, I could feel something which is hard to describe when people looked attracted.

[@saveUyghurs]

I think that when we are attracted to someone we can't obtain, then we try to hide that attraction. But when we think we have a chance, that's when we are more prone to showing these signs.

[@mendozamaritza737]

Somebody was listening to Taylor song gorgeous

[@rayaan3395]

Rasheed Ahmad Yeah same for the feelings, this is the gut feelings. Before knowing all the signs I learn everyday with those kind of videos, I used to pay attention to my feelings and at the end of the day analyze all my eye-contacts, stares with girls, smiles etc.. and I'd always find out new signs that have been confirmed since then by those kind of videos. Some signs are obvious, when a girl always stares at you everytime she sees you, when a girl always look at your direction, when she bites her finger or lip after seeing you, when you have numerous eye-contacts in a row (it often leads to smiles btw so kinda a confirmation), when she looks down after 3-4 seconds of staring etc... And then you have the ones you can't guess like some bodylanguage stuffs (feet direction, eyes etc..). But yeah, always trust your gut ans your intuition as we send vibrations, we're connected, the more 2 people like each other, the more both feel it. I experience some signs daily with the same girls at school or different ones in the street and some other signs less often but enough to allow me to notice them.

[@quitemundane]

@@rayaan3395“The more 2 people like each other, the more both feel it” Never realized this until someone (you) said it. Thank you for putting these into words.

[@Pink-dc4qi]

I have a coworker and can't tell if she is flirting? Few moments Other day, I was in the closet to grab something and she walked past me and said " have fun in the closet." And shut the door on me lol closed it. The other day, I was riding a machine down the hallway and she said " I want a ride." But she hates riding the machine I ride she said. Or she puts her leg out in front of me and say " watch out." WHEN I'M DRIVING. Other day, I was moping the floor and she walked past me and said " You missed a spot." SARCASM. I said " no really?" SARCASM. She turn around and smiled at me and laugh. She's been teasing me a little and playful. One day she sat with me at lunch (alone) before people came in, she never sits in the kitchen, usually at her desk, happened once. I just don't get why she only talks to me a little when no one is around? Like one day, we barely spoke but the end of the day, I was leaving to go home, she said " YOUR LEAVING?!?!? WHAT? " Also I was vacuuming and I saw her walked past me to go too a room. And she came out of the room and saw me in the hallway, I was looking down to plug my cord in, she just stood there and look at me for like 2 second and I looked up and she just stood there for another 2 second not saying anything, we just look at each other & than she said something like " Can you come to my house and clean? I have a dog and she sheds a lot."

[@Wooist]

These are fantastic tips. Proximity, touch, and eye contact. These are the common ones although sometimes you will come across someone who is really shy and is afraid of looking at you, touching you, and being close to you. So if someone doesn't give you these initial signs initially, get to know them a little more and if those signs pop up at any point they are attracted to you! Great video by Vanessa

[@emiliospowerballer1441]

I believe the way you can tell someone likes you is if they look at you a lot of times. Besides that though, it doesn't mean that they will approach you, or befriend you, or go out with you. It mostly means that you are just attracted to this person. As we are dealing with people, the end result is often disappointing because someone liking you vs someone being attracted to are miles apart and one does not bring the other.

[@heartquaked]

Your hair is sooo beautiful, and I am fascinated by your line of work and videos! Great channel :)

[@sancho7863]

I just try to read the eyes. I’ve been doing that since i was in my early twenties and that’s also how i try to communicate my interest in a woman. I learned it from a french girl who practically made me fall in love with her with eye contact the first time we met

[@PreYeah]

Thank you for this concise video! Compared to all the other "30-Signs-A-Guy-Likes-You" videos, this was short and simple. I liked the fancy-schmancy terminology too with the easy explanation. The person I'm crushing on is shy, but has definitely demonstrated all these signs! Sometimes I feel like he's moved closer to me, has broken the touch barrier at a party, and gave me a 3-second long hard-stare in passing while I was going avoidant on him (due to performance anxiety). We are on better terms now. Of course, with lockdown I no longer have these cues to go off of, it's basically just cues through chat messages and responses. Would love it if you could do a video on that as well. Thanks again for this video!

[@khloe38]

oh dear...this means im attracted to everyone. or at least they may think that i am. my natural nature is to do all of these. i get shy on the eyecontact part because it seems to intimidate or weird out some people...but these are things i naturally do to connect.

[@khloe38]

also because i am in sales i learned to look enough into someones eyes to remember their eye color. is this not something i should be doing for fear of being misunderstood?

[@khloe38]

+khloe38 noted it was a man that gave the eye advice...Should women approach things differently?

[@WannaAhug]

khloe38 I Wouldn't change it if I were You. maybe go light on the touching.

[@acharich]

Same @ the last line..

[@catherinetexas1006]

khloe38 same

[@starsara20]

ur so charismatic i love it!

[@Lvu24]

more videos like this Vanessa. I truly enjoy watching your influential videos. So knowledgeable. Thank you.

[@jimenasalasugarte6935]

I am attracted to your content. You are amazing!

[@vimalprakash4115]

If I could have .... I would give you 1000s of likes ... The way you explain everything is just amazing. 💞

[@mariaisco6854]

I would love to see more of these videos! big like ❤

[@chrisa1844]

You are Amazing and Charming. ♡ Very original, I like that and you give out great intelligence. Thank you☆

[@ottomechanic1370]

You Wana know something crazy, you made more sense in less time on this topic. Enjoyed learning the terminology. Were certainly a fastinating species. Thank you.

[@jovenatkinson1267]

This is absolute accurate

[@vanrajrajput8738]

It's awesome Vanessa. I like the content

[@nathantoth1527]

Thank you Vanessa for sharing videos! #WOO!

[@aadeshmirke]

I am happy that I knew all the answers before starting to watch this video. So I give thumbs up to this video.

[@A2Kaid]

Imagine being in a relationship with Vanessa, given that she has all this deep info on non-verbal cues. Must be tricky.

[@abdibarrisalam9437]

That's amazing, you describe it vividly

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Thank you! ❤

[@nathantoth1527]

Thank you for sharing info.

[@anjumbasra2782]

Excellent as per your experience or exposure . I like you observations. Best regards AnjumBasra

[@dashamai1163]

I have a classmate, a boy who I thought was quite handsome. We didn't know each other and never really talked but whenever we would bump into each other on the street or at the gym, he would always give me such a long gaze and I would feel the chemistry in the air without having any words exchanged...the art of attraction. Quite fascinating, isn't it?

[@sondarang538]

Every lady gaze at me like that wants to be near me talk to me.(they give me dead stare like theyre watching into my soul).lol Its not like im a fuckboy but iam a masculine man who focused only on success.😄

[@amazonmonopoly6869]

I look at girls on purpose just so people won't think I'm gay but I'm not usually attracted to them. It's just what i got to do to stay closeted (I'm mostly ace).

[@isabella6075]

@@amazonmonopoly6869 oh interesting 😂

[@isabella6075]

@@sondarang538 Keep doing you 💪

[@harrymmari3477]

Hi Vanessa, you're good at what you're doing, cheers 😃

[@mrschneebly2438]

Vanessa: “I want you to count how many times they reach out and touch you, that’s a pretty good indicator” Me: *Receives 47 slaps across the face* “IT’S TRUE LOVE”

[@raleighkuz.6576]

One of a kind

[@clover1383]

😂

[@vodgeee]

Great pointers !

[@lauriecarter5385]

For me its always been the conversation...how often do you talk is that person tending to think of reasons to talk to you.the smile is it A blushing almost laughter smile .

[@tubefile100]

Nice short video! I like it :D!

[@user-jk4rt4ph7i]

Thanks I didn't know that eye contact produced oxytocin.

[@acharich]

Me neither.. Explains a lot.. 💭💭💭

[@blackberry8615]

👁👅👁

[@aaabbbccc7857]

@@acharich PPpppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp

[@aaabbbccc7857]

@@acharich 0pp

[@aaabbbccc7857]

@@acharich ppppppppppppppappappappppppppppppppppppaaaapapPPPapapppppppppppppapppppppappappppapapppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppapppppppppppppppppppppppaappppppppppappapppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppapppppppppppPpppppppppppppppppppppppppppappppppaappppppppppppppp

[@kingking9839]

Thank you so much #respect❤

[@SarahVision]

Ahhh he likes me.... if only I realized that before he got married... ☹️

[@nicklausbooks1593]

Sarah Christine don’t worry, it won’t last.

[@mirzawardahbeg6948]

June the Goon Marry me

[@miaporche2256]

Nicklaus Books lmao

[@dias17se]

Hot af

[@GETURHANDSUP916]

With me, you won't have to worry about wondering if I like you lol

[@marilynharper5854]

I love Vanessa body language tips it'so fascinating n enlighting

[@elipena909]

You're the best!

[@ryw5862]

thanks for getting to the point without rambling on forever like the numerous dingbats on you tube so frequently do.

[@regaininglife9084]

I knew all these. And women have done all these to me. I would also like to add, if a person is asking lots of personal questions like what do you do for work, where do you live, etc, it means they are interested in you. Smiling at you is a good sign as well.

[@mikaraya3821]

When im talking to my crush i cant look straight in her eyes coz im shy😂

[@jimwilliams4088]

Ok, then you need to ask her ?s that have an open ending ? Like ask her how would she feel if? Whatever subject that you want to talk about

[@waterbender19]

I find that when someone wants you to know how they feel about you its usually easy to tell, the trick is when they don't want you to know, and then all bets are off.

[@justasomeone7860]

Yep, some of us are overly conscious of and afraid of someone picking up on the fact that we're attracted to them and therefore will suppress almost all of our natural impulses that would give them clues.

[@zacqueeentertainment7336]

All 3 signs I see and are extremely accurate

[@alextumwesigye]

Hello Vannessa I like you so much. You nail this topic of human interaction like no other person on the planet. And your smile... is a killer one...!!! Your sense of fashion is just tick, tick, tick every time!.....thanks really lots for exceptional output. You rock my world! keep Up!👏👏👏

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Thank you so much for your kind words! So glad I can help ❤

[@dougarnold7955]

🤘 great stuff.

[@brandonwilliams9560]

I look at people all the time doesn't mean I like them. You can't read too much into everything. Things aren't always what they seems to be.

[@kaleb749]

Brandon Williams you can be attracted to them without liking them

[@amazonmonopoly6869]

Exactly. Can't even look at a guy's shirt long enough to read what it says sometimes without him thinking I'm gay. How ridiculous.

[@maureenkam9212]

What happened if the first few times, he looked down or looked away? However, there was one long gaze recently. Does it mean anything?

[@kaleb749]

Maureen Kam sounds like he likes you. Try to gather more signs by maybe getting closer to him as friends or just in general

[@maureenkam9212]

@@kaleb749 When we were alone, we locked eyes and he smiled brilliantly at me. I think he is a very shy person.

[@Kholdie]

Just got your book in the mail the other day. Good read and good information. =)

[@nitskar3255]

SUPER DUPER ALL VIDEOS ARE HELPFUL AND MEANINGFULL............

[@shyamalganguly3598]

What happens when there's a long distance relationship, Venessa? How do they touch and hug staying distant from each other? If someone in a certain way is attached to or trying to be attached in a relationship and one of them is engaged in performing and the other one's listening and looks around, does this obviate disinterest? One the other hand if someone is trying to figure out what irks his other relationships to drift away and stopped showing up for a longtime despite ample time has been elapsed in futile search for what he cherished close to his heart? Look how someone knowing everything put her best foot forward to say 'lay your love on me' and comes all they way in the vicinity of the relationship. Don't you see the try to close the gap between?!

[@mayurkulkarni1990]

well, your smile always makes my day Vanessa !

[@stevensmith4213]

Totally agree!

[@fleurof28]

agree she's adorable

[@mrdonutboi8373]

mayur kulkarni I thought the fly in your profile is real for a sec,but once I looked closer I realised it's part of your prof.😂

[@rosegustkey9903]

Ooo 111 likes maybe this person is your twin flame🤣

[@jadenalmeida8460]

@@mrdonutboi8373 same 😂

[@armend316]

Earned a sub. +like! Love it!

[@ScienceOfPeople]

I'm so glad you are here! Glad to know you like the content! =)

[@armend316]

@@ScienceOfPeople you're welcome Ma'am. Keep safe & God bless you! 🙏❤🙂 P.S. I'm glad I discovered this cool channel too!🥰❤

[@armend316]

@@ScienceOfPeople you're most welcome Ma'am, keep safe & God bless you! 🙏

[@uzirosenblatt8144]

She is too amazing.

[@jeancruse3765]

I find it very difficult to go for eye contact when I like someone. If I look at them I’m afraid they will see what I’m thinking

[@thebahana]

I've noticed that when someone is attracted they sort of smile and blush at the same time when you make eye contact with them.

[@AvantiAcharya]

Three exact points.

[@Anna133199]

Yeah.. A guy I know and liked did all these things, touched me aaaaall the time. When I finally found the courage to tell him, he said he really liked me but not in that way. I'm totally over it, but now I'm more careful about interpreting these signs as sexual attraction. How about some more tips on how to see if someone's not just attracted to your personality, but also to your appearence?

[@maureenkam9212]

Sometimes, a guy can say something contrary to what he means. I had a similar exoerience and was dead sure that he was into me so much so that I dumped my boy friend to make the coast clear for him. However, he said to me like what that boy said to you. Yet, I knew he had a big crush on me as he was very flustered and blinked constantly when I was with him, but after a year, I moved on to another guy when he did not move beyomd than that.

[@nityamsendabee1237]

Thank you :)

[@JakeTheHappyGuy]

look at this beauty

[@anitataylor4287]

mmmm..love this comment.

[@munawarshah373]

loving it

[@mrmomtime111]

Whenever I like someone, I prefer to tell them very straight forward.

[@hibiscusflower5911]

I'm thinking about changing a habit... I hug every one of my friends, and sometimes people I meet for the first time. Hearing now that it can send mixed signals, how can I remember not to hug someone? I guess my problem may be that I don't think about how this affects people, and it comes naturally as the first thing to do when you see someone. Any tips?

[@patrickalexis3600]

Bahamas 2018. She's right

[@kendrar3072]

Ye, everything happened so fast, all of a sudden the delicious cake was right next to me! 😋🤷‍♀️

[@ChiranjibiDewangan]

Thanks Vanessa for your lovely videos, that are supueb..

[@gloriaalamango3906]

Vanessa, I have a question! what do you do if someone shows you that they are attracted to you and you don't want to you and you are not but you do not want to embarrass or hurt their feelings, cos you don't feel the same and because you are married, what do you say or do?

[@uniquevirusdanceacademy3938]

Mam I have eye sqent problem so how to make relationship bond with girl and how to make eye contact...

[@overcomer4226]

There is a man several years younger than me whom I always thought was extremely attractive. Very good looking yes but more than that. Committed devoted family man to wife and children and extremely NICE PERSON TOO. I hadnt seen him in quite some time . But I think somehow he knew I thought he was attractive. I saw him recently and he gave me ALOT of detail I didn't ask for. Divorced from wife, living with girlfriend, vacationing, where he was working, stuff about the exwife and the new girlfriend. It was weird. It was odd. I think he did this to tell me to stay far far away and to not even think about being attracted. I was uncomfortable to say the least. Dating him never crossed my mind. I felt a little offended he would assume that. So when someone talks alot to you it's not always about attraction!! I changed the subject to the weather and sports QUICK!!

[@lemonade-os1rj]

I really want to be close to someone because i feel we have something in common, i also want to develop myself and be connected to more people but its not easy for me when i find it hard to talk to them, and thats what making me sad. Because that makes me hard to find friends

[@gary_michael_flanagan_wildlife]

I will NEVER forget when I met my ex girlfriend for the first time and he had me close my eyes and she would massage certain parts of me (not those parts lol) but just the touch was overwhelming and increasingly attractive. I hadn’t experienced anything like that before. It was unreal and I’ll never forget it. I keep that memory forever when I need to think about when I want to feel it again.

[@imno5571]

What a girl. Angel on the Earth.

[@openmind5363]

i like the info., but there is a lot of physical contact and personal closest where I work....it's a hospital

[@nisaspica5931]

open mind maybe that's why patients tend to be attracted to doctors or nurses 😁

[@prashantkumarparmanu]

Vanessa , your each and every video is awesome

[@biolemmashem]

Really appreciate this video. But for me, I always thought eye contact is a courtesy thing. If someone is talking to you, you should look them in the eye. There must be lots of people who think I fancy them!

[@rayaan3395]

White Teeth Privilege The more I like someone, the more I'll stare them in the eyes, but like most of the people, I usually look away when speaking or listening, it can be awkward to a certain extent.

[@jimwilliams4088]

If the eye contact is longer than 2 seconds, then there may be some attraction. Next start a conversation and see where that leads to.

[@ahmadjawad196]

Nice tips. ..

[@Itz_julianna_and_genesis56]

Wait but sometimes if someone is attracted to another individual it seems hard to make eye contact. That’s what happens to me. Kind of like getting shy to stare or just look directly to their eyes.

[@maureenkam9212]

You are simply nervous around someone who matters and you feel your heart is jumping out of your throat, racing very fast when you are around your crush.

[@drsareekakatkuriphysiother5376]

I always know when someone is attracted to me through their body language and behaviour

[@katarisundar6447]

If a girl runs away after seeing me what does that mean can u tell?

[@supremeintrovert7404]

@@katarisundar6447 lmao 😂

[@tinywhiskers30]

That moment when you're generally close with everyone and all of these are everyday normal interactions with everyone you knowm

[@elizabethweaverling263]

more awesome videos like this! You're a natural KZbinr!

[@mudithabandara8575]

This is so easy

[@kenmflo]

I love that background lighting contrast effect - anyone know how to achieve that?

[@ilikerainydays1500]

I think they put a lamp on the floor directed to the wall, don't you think? :)

[@kenmflo]

Yeah definitely, and I was going to insist there was more to it than that because when I watched it on my phone the background looked totally black, which should be difficult to achieve with a lamp pointing at it. But as I came back to see your reply on my PC, I watched part of the video again and you can clearly see the ugly fabric illuminated by the lamp. :P It's not as cool of an effect on a big screen...

[@acharich]

💣🔥

[@ProfesionaldelaSalud]

Thanks for sharing all this nice information Vanessa, regards!

[@preetk4821]

😊

[@simi6152]

I sometimes have no clue what's going on. I am clueless when it comes to a guy liking me or not!...I'm always wanting to be friends with them.

[@TheStacyFosterChannel]

Thank you

[@chitramoontarot]

It’s a knowing sensing .. you don’t need signs if you are alert to your surroundings.

[@anitataylor4287]

EXACTLY!!!!

[@motivationaddiction7307]

I knew about you from iq you're awesome

[@JoaoVictor-in9fh]

If I see it happening to someone I know how to tell, if it is happening to me I freak out so much that I can't even speak

[@novaquestgaming]

Theres a woman I met on holiday and I just fell for her instantly. We both could not stop looking over at each other and kept walking towards eachother, also some touching when talking to each other. So I got her details and I have got home from abroad where I met her and she barely says a word to me. Seems very closed off and rarely answers questions when I'm trying to get a conversation flowing it's very one sided. I don't have a clue what's going on but I can't get her out of my head and I thought she felt the same way :s. Any idea?

[@kishorekumarbangi512]

Without touching and without coming in to your intimatezone I am attracted to you

[@lytnin88]

Does proxemics apply during an epidemic?

[@saleencrowell2600]

Wow..Im 49years old..I should opening up a youtube myself and tell the people the same thing you just said..Cause that's not nothing people should know that already win you dealing with a person you don't know to know if they like me or not..

[@elizabethb7438]

I do not date much. I seem to always attract guys that I am not attracted to. I also seem to pick guys that are looking for subservient women which I am not. This is the reason I do not date much or as I call them "Oners". Am I subconsciously not really into dating or am I misinterpreting?

[@LISA.WANG.]

Do jackets, clothes and long sleeves still count for this haptics touch barrier stuff??

[@abhishekbisht4031]

You are great

[@joefromdc]

how about u just say hey i like u. keep it simple

[@MrGoranPa]

Sometimes people don't even know they like you.

[@jaxd7206]

MrGoranPa That's sad.

[@themanhimself436]

because thats an unreasonable expectation of people who are insecure and sit on the internet all day.... like me =/

[@NBaBall3r26]

oh it sounds so easy but putting it into actions is another

[@iamsuperjerk]

Because females like to play games

[@viwer4468]

I wish I could talk to you directly about someone I'm falling for but I'm very skeptical even though the signs are there.

[@ajlalsadambhatti1922]

vanessa van edward great lady

[@tradingpsychologist]

I catchedup on the cues, told her i got feelings, she said NO,LOL

[@maryrose4182]

Does anyone know how the second eye colour in the intro is called? (The one which is green and brown)

[@ramonaagachi]

Hazel eyes?

[@abdirazakmohamedmuhaajin]

Hey Van, Do I fall for you bcoz of you're professional or is this you naturally?!

[@kolyah22]

So in short, if they like you, they stand close to you, they touch you, and look at you. I'm astounded!

[@egyptnz27]

I cant tell, im quite dense, ...i need help seeing it