How Your Birth Order Shapes Your Marriage (Best of 2024)

[@MalchevaIrina]

With all due respect I can’t agree that birth order defines your personality as much. I am the e youngest one and I’m the one who give comments, instructions, I’m list maker and so on. There are so many different factors that are molding us into the person we become.

[@megalopolis2015]

I'm a middle child who was raised as a firstborn, but who was the favorite, as the baby. I have a major sense of responsibility, who makes lists, and has a long memory and plans and goals, yet Loves surprises, and enjoys expressing individuality, but am also often unfortunately invisible. I'm in Love with a baby who was raised as a firstborn, but who has a tendency to want to be catered to. He was very Loving, thoughtful, generous, and compassionate. We're in individual counseling, in different states, and I've been taking care of my elderly mom full time for nearly twenty one months. Prayers are appreciated.

[@mischelemiller5020]

Prayers. I didn't go back after my mom passed. It's hard

[@Hairitage2023]

🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

[@ellen3467]

​@@mischelemiller5020 my mom just passed and I was long time caregiver. What do you mean about didn't go back? Thank you

[@mischelemiller5020]

@ellen3467 my husband and I still live separately. We talk as often as politeness alows us to. It's been 2 years.

[@sylviabradford7926]

🙏

[@RealJulianaInspiration]

Yes, first daughter, and no 4th out of 9 siblings in birth order. Traditionally, in my culture, first daughters assumed most of the family responsibilities, a role model to other siblings, and I did most of that and am still doing today. I am proud, though it can be overwhelming.

[@thamanig9289]

I'm a last born, always had the rationale of a first born. Both my brothers who are 6 and 5 years older than me are spoiled and basically I take care of everyone. I was a bread winner at 22 years and the mediator or the family. Husband is a middle child, who was the least loved by their mom who abondoned then. Most responsible, logical and calm. My husband and I are the ones that provide more for our families financially and emotionally and have a successful romantic relationship. But also trauma changes these dynamics. Both my husband and I experienced a whole more childhood trauma compared 5o our siblings and that forced us to grow very quick.

[@jp5419]

My first born husband was coddled, parents were the original helicopter parents, he is not a leader nor can he make quick decisions. Suffers from high anxiety, and really requires a lot of support. Me… last born out of 4 (then when I was 10 little brother was born) and operate like a competent general.

[@agnesouma8784]

😂😂😂😂

[@sharonhalmeoni]

I am the last born of quadruplets. I do say I’m the youngest. I’m very laid back compared to my other identical sisters. Financially, they all have enough money to spend. I do budget my finances and do good on what I have. I like this topic!

[@glee_again2594]

Neat. Not many can say this. Love that you truly follow the birth order with moments rather than months/years apart.

[@ntokozomathaba2337]

Hi from South Africa, firstborn here and loving it, i was born to raise everyone in my family and i wasn't even aware, i just assumed responsibilities as an older child thinking that if i don't do anything no one will. Also the good part about it was that my mother used to affirm me more than my siblings making me more confident and loved at the expense of my siblings....well they were also spoiled 🙂 I used to hear people asking me if am i the firstborn and i would be asking why are saying that? and they say we can tell by the way you give orders and leading. So yeah i am loving it❤❤❤😂😂

[@employme2]

Please do more of this type of content, is ts very enlightening. Thank you 🙏

[@androidphone6880]

This is inverted for my brothers... Oldest is fly by cuff adventurer and chronic entrepreneur, middle is worrying perfectionist company man... Youngest, me, is ultra introverted go with flow entrepreneur married to an oldest also entrepreneur who does behave as described here, always planning and correcting... She says my worst trait is that I'm usually right.

[@Heaveniswaitingforyou]

My husband is the middle child and I’m the oldest! He’s 5 years older than me. Very interesting! I tend to take charge over many things in the marriage but my personality is overall very much a follower type. So interesting!

[@bmcdonald7303]

Same for me.

[@Somebodys_Mother]

I'm a baby married to a baby. He has great work ethic, but has kept to himself far too much throughout raising children, just as his dad did. I have kept the leader position open, but I was the one who had to make sure things didn't utterly fall apart. It's not been easy, because I am just a baby 😅. Our children weren't raised in the Christian home we hoped for. But God... He is faithful to finish the good works He began. We are still growing and hopefully more together now. I pray for my children every day. I hope he does too. Yes! We have seen that encouragement helps overcome a lot of bad habits and insecurities.

[@focusonthefamily]

@Somebody's Mother Wow. Thank you so much for sharing! What a light and blessing you are. Keep those prayers up! God hears them! God bless you and your family! - Treasure H.

[@cknowles7402]

Prayer is key to healing ❤️‍🩹, growth and peace

[@BJ-bc7sl]

My oldest husband is so difficult, rigid, and manipulative. I’m youngest, flexible, responsible, and easygoing. I’m miserable in this marriage. Oldest / youngest Terrible mix.

[@amyfullmer5047]

Ditto! Exact same for me! We should be friends ❤ it’s been a miserable 36 years for me and divorce doesn’t seem to offer any better situation because of finances. I’m instead in a relationship with Jesus

[@MayBlake_Channel]

I'm the oldest and I'm not "difficult, rigid, and manipulative." This doesn't sound like a birth-order thing, it sounds like your husband is controlling

[@BJ-bc7sl]

@@MayBlake_Channelmaybe it’s a combination

[@MayBlake_Channel]

@BJ-bc7sl Could be. I'm still very concerned about her marriage, though. I'd reccomend reading the book "Why Does He Do That?: inside the minds of angry and controlling men" by Lundy Bancroft. It may bring clarity on some issues

[@joschmo1007]

Heaven above, is what he said starting at about 12:20 true. I am married to an Air Force pilot -- and he wasn't in the Air Force when we got married, but man alive dis it bring out the nitpicky in him -- and that statement is absolutely spot on. His perfectionist attitude has torn our kids up in ways. It isn't intentional, but we cannot neglect to observe our behaviors as parents and how they effect out kids. Thank God for Romans 8:28-30! And I mean that in the most reverent way. What a mercy! What grace on us as parents and as children! What a blessing that God can still fix my kids after I screw them up!

[@THrEeMuNkEes]

Before I watch … I am oldest of 3, brother in the middle of two girls. I am a go-getter, serious, adventurous ambitious, detail oriented and loyal/reliable, entrepreneurial, list maker, clean freak and a survivor. My brother is the rebel, struggles with lying, was an alcoholic before severe sickness, broken family and my sister - funny, social, easy going, life of the party!

[@nunyabb]

Got the book from previous shows and I’m glad I did❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@JaneThatcher89]

Which book please?

[@focusonthefamily]

@Jane Thatcher, this is the book: bit.ly/3UHymcs. Please let us know if you have any other questions. God bless you! - Treasure H.

[@Mmathapelo-bd5ed]

Thanks

[@focusonthefamily]

@Mmathapelo You are welcome. We are so glad it has blessed you. God bless. - Treasure H.

[@REBEKAHJOHNSON-lh6xh]

Middle baby here!! Older sister (3 years) younger brother (2 years). Crazy how life works. We all thought I’d be the first to be married, but my little “wild child” brother has been married a year and a half now! And my sister has been married for a good decade. I’ve barely even jumped off the porch with dating.

[@SophieSisley]

Hello everyone. I am French and I did not understand everything, because it is fast, even though I put the subtitles. It is interesting, because I had never heard before that we, as either first, middle or last born child, could have a different impact in our mariage. I guess we can trust the experience of this man, who seem to know what he is talking about. My question is : should we have cared about knowing in what order our future spouse was?

[@jessyjonas4988]

This is excellent content Thanks Thanks FOTF

[@focusonthefamily]

@jessy jonas Thank you for sharing. We are so so glad this has blessed you. - Treasure H.

[@HenryFidelThomas]

What IS FOTF ?

[@rainewaters6371]

Has there been any research on individuals with high functioning autism, who have developed unknowingly what is called, 'masking autism' (meaning they mostly present as typical but are developmentally atypical), and birth order.

[@clairebee5904]

I'm # 7 last born and that doesn't describe me,i ended up being the most responsible, took care of my mother that had dementia for 10 years.

[@jaykay3839]

Oh wow, that critical mother comment was dead on with my in-laws. My poor BIL could do nothing right. Second born sister-in-law was Miss perfect.

[@micahortega6041]

It's funny. As a middle kid we often feel overlooked. Maybe we aren't but there is something inside us that makes us feel that way. This video reinforced that haha. 27:33 long video and 40 seconds about middle kids. There rest was about first and last kids haha.

[@laxel01]

Love it!!

[@415jsg]

Does this apply across cultures ? And I’m curious to know about siblings who have years in between like my sister and I are 10 years apart

[@ntokozomathaba2337]

Yes, it does. Hi there from South Africa ❤

[@Somebodys_Mother]

Though, from what I have understood, 10 years apart can be more like two only children, depending how close the family is.

[@rhoadestraveled]

What about blended families… I was a first born until I was 5. Then my stepbrother came in. He's 3 years older. Then my mom and stepdad had a daughter that is 8 years younger than me.

[@jaykay3839]

I'd love to hear more too. My husband is youngest of three. He's the clown. He avoids conflict like the plague. Lies so much his pants are on fire. 🔥 I'm the youngest of two. I'm a brat. Need help with a lot of things. Fairly laid back but also codependent like my mom (she was 2nd oldest of 11). I'm critical of his driving but I'm working on that. Even though he's been in nearly 20 accidents and I have never had one ticket. Oh! Okay. The disabled children explanation helps with my 5th child. She's organized and incredibly capable like a first born but she's sandwiched between two special needs siblings And she was born after her brother died. Someone said they're in charge but the youngest. That's called being bossy.😅 My youngest child is bossy. 😅

[@ellen3467]

Thank you for replying. I asked because the joint caregiving I'm sure has caused damage between us and now I feel like I'm done

[@annak8249]

I am the youngest baby and married the oldest❤️

[@chenderson18]

I am the last born and have all the characteristics of a first born. All my life my siblings looked to me for direction, and still do. 😅

[@mischelemiller5020]

Im Oldest- husband youngest, BUT he is 20 years older then I am . Birth order still applies.

[@saraneudorf526]

We are both middle of the family,had a rough many day's,,,, especially while raising children,,

[@mtg6753]

Really good video!

[@nunyabb]

6:00 middle child

[@nunyabb]

It’s the same skill at work, that works against you with those you love.

[@shannanross5628]

See that you are only really addressing functional families but not the ones that have dv; child abuse and neglect; mental health issues for any family member and substance abuse

[@cherylwin9364]

AGREED 👍🏾

[@julieshepard3409]

6 kids in family. I had a brother 1 year older. He died when I was 6 and he was 7. I became oldest then even though 2nd born. Wonder how that applies to me.

[@focusonthefamily]

@Julie Shepard We are so sorry to hear that. Thank you for sharing. Please be assured we are praying for you! Your birth order would stay the same. Please let us know if you have any other questions. God bless you! - Treasure H.

[@danielaamaning92]

What about no. 10 out of 11? that would be me!

[@chf9514]

I am a first-born. But most of the attributes of the ‘first born’ that you described in this video do NOT describe me!

[@anumchika]

Same here

[@desleighcoombs2067]

Same for me.

[@cyrairani2190]

First born... description on the dot.👍

[@romanavrana1782]

I am a fist Child (daughter), who was married to a man who is a middle child between two sisters.

[@adampatton6072]

What about being an identical twin with an older sibling?

[@focusonthefamily]

That's an interesting question. Dr. Leman was a guest on our show, we would like to encourage you to check out Dr. Leman's website where you'll find valuable resources' and can pose that question to him. Here's the link bit.ly/3ZEHd2o Blessings, Ella L

[@weallhaveastorychannel]

He couldn't be more wrong about my brother and me. He's the first born and I'm the second. My brother is the exact OPPOSITE of what he described as a first born.

[@tracyrussell4116]

I’m a disobedient middle child. Married to a loved firstborn Son. Thank you Lord.

[@feliciawalker1004]

My mom has 4 . 2 girls 2 boys. My sister is the oldest than my brother, than Me and than my younger brother. So I'm the youngest girl but my brother is the youngest boy. So I'm considering the middle child?

[@Champ577]

I'm the youngest...always the baby 😢 over dependent difficult to decide

[@ntokozomathaba2337]

Sounds like my youngest sister last born ❤she's work of art i tell you😂

[@michellebower4643]

What happens when there is a break between the first and the second out of four? Male, 7 years later ME!, 4 years later another male and 4 years more a female.

[@focusonthefamily]

Great question, We would like to encourage you to check out Dr. Leman's website where you'll find valuable recourses' and can pose that question to hi,. Here's the link bit.ly/3ZEHd2o

[@elyciahfaithklaartjies]

The first male is the “only child, because you were born 7 years later - that makes you the eldest of your other 2 siblings.

[@michellebower4643]

@ feels that way!

[@shawnmiles100]

HOW DOES BIRTH ORDER WORK WITH PERSONALITY TYPING?

[@focusonthefamily]

Great question, Dr. Leman was a guest on our podcast. Here is his website which is full of resources that can help you answer that question. bit.ly/3ZEHd2o

[@tessjones5987]

Depends on the marriage of the parents what roles are played. Many times the First is when the marriage was happy. The middle child is a stuck mode. And the following child is just a servant to the parents cause they didn't want them. The last child can be a non-event uninvolved parents.

[@glee_again2594]

Middle child “We don’t care!” Is sooooo my middle child as well as the rest of what he said.

[@Somebodys_Mother]

My middle daughters are the responsible ones.

[@sharonlaguna5059]

My husband fits the traits of a firstborn. I’m the baby. But was not spoiled. However, i do like attention. Look at meeeee. Lol

[@TreyCeeeeeeee]

So true

[@Kevin-x1p1y]

Thanks for the analysis! Just a quick off-topic question: I have a SafePal wallet with USDT, and I have the seed phrase. (alarm fetch churn bridge exercise tape speak race clerk couch crater letter). How should I go about transferring them to Binance?